Nathan was rather amazed as he walked towards the Bureau. He couldn’t hear ‘Him’. Normally he could always hear ‘Him’, even when he took his medication ‘His’ voice could always be heard. 'She' was rather quite always and only piped up when possibility of disaster could strike, and would moan about it incessantly.
“Why should we bother going through this? What if they give us the wrong dosage and we only partially transform, or something’s wrong with our body when we transform and we die in our sleep, or if there’s a delayed effect or…”
'She' continued moaning, trying to solidify the point that they were going to suffer somehow, someway, and that they might as well jump into the barrier and do themselves the favor of making it quick. But still she was the one he wanted to focus on lest he listen to the more unsavory and indistinct “others”, or his focus drift and he looks around. It’s always someone or something, somewhere. One time while walking to his apartment Nathan saw what looked like a bright green dot of light moving across the ground. He ran home as fast as he could. Sure, it may have just been a laser pointer, but aren’t the laser sights on some guns green, was there a nut job in the building behind him with a sniper rifle about to shoot him and any others passing by?! What’s worse, the window to his apartment faced the building he was sure it was from. Was he safe in his own room?! 'Her' input helped little in this situation, and ‘He’ was ecstatic over the thought of Nathan dying, as always.
This Equestria though, they promised a paradise were there was no violence, as well as a potion that cured all ailments. Perhaps, they would be gone? Perhaps he could relax and be happy, without fear of something out to murder him? The “others” and 'Her' protested, naturally, and every instinct told him that these ponies were out to do him harm, the potion would kill him, that he shouldn't trust them, but he didn't care at this point. He sat in the bureau waiting room and ignored them. He greeted the Doctor, and tried to ignore the feeling of dread welling up in him. The doctor led him to another room and sat him down on a bed, potion prepared.
“Now, drink up! When you wake up the whole world will be so much better!” the Doctor announced jovially.
Nathan brought the potions container to his lips and drank. As he swallowed the potion he began to feel sleepy, and when he finished he lied back on the bed and drifted off. However, before sleep overcame him completely, he heard on solitary statement.
“Fool”
Niggling Feeling hummed merrily as he trotted along the sidewalk of a Manehatten suburb, his olive coat and brown mane being slightly disturbed by the wind. His new book “Eyes in Griffonia” had taken Equestria by storm! While there was a sizable mystery and horror genres here, they were mostly for younger readers and didn’t have very complex stories. His story however had revolutionized those genres, with government cover-ups, nightmarish creatures, ancient conspiracies, and the poor mare that got caught up in it while visiting griffon territory one summer. He remembered that when he was younger everyone seemed to be connected to everyone else and all seemed out to get him. He remembered the vast overreaching conspiracies he made to explain them all, and those memories made the book so much easier to write. He learned after releasing it that ponies like being scarred, when there’s no actual danger though. This fact made his series extremely popular very quickly, and the funds led him to live a comfortably in his new home.
Niggling Feeling reached his house and started to prepare for tomorrow. While going through some fan mail the other day he encountered quite the surprise. A letter from Princess Twilight Sparkle! Apparently she was doing surveys and interviews with various Newfoals and wanted to speak with him. What else could he do but accept! The appointment was set for tomorrow and
“Suit, check. Mane cut, check. Might as well bring some paper and ink. Alright, I think that’s all I’m going to need.” With the materials he needed he felt confident tomorrow would go well. “I can’t believe it; I've got a bestseller, a nice house, a sizable amount of money, and get to talk with an actual Princess! Things are really looking up!”
“Thank you for coming out here, you have no idea how much it means to have you come all the way out here, Princess.”
“No, it’s a pleasure. And call me Twilight, no need to be so formal”
“Thank you, Twilight. Now, you’re here to see how I’m adjusting to my new life?”
“That’s correct. Currently I have to deal with a lot of paperwork concerning the Bureaus, with so many ponies coming into Equestria I felt it was my duty to make sure that Newfoals are finding good homes and jobs here. If a Newfoal comes and is unhappy with his life here, then how can we say anything but ‘We failed’?”
“Indeed, and may I say you are doing a wonderful job, as evidence here.” At that he gave a flourished bow, making Twilight giggle.
“I’m happy to see that. It’s nice to know you can have a happy life before you die.”
His eyes widened with fear as a sense of dread filled him. “I-I’m sorry, but, what?”
Her eyes held some confusion “I said it’s nice to know you can have a happy life here if you try. Is there something wrong with that?”
“N-No just didn't hear you so well”
“Oh, okay then. Well the ones we’re most worried about are the Newfoals who come from troubled pasts, as they may have more difficulty adjusting. Most of the Newfoals I’m interviewing are like that, and while you’re background isn’t as concerning as most of the others, I did want to speak with you specifically as the author of one of my new favorite books. I mean, you know too much!”
Niggling feeling’s eyes grew wide at that. “What?!”
Twilights eyes now held far more concern in them. “I said I love it so much. Mr. Feeling, are you feeling okay? Do you want to do this another time?”
Niggling grabbed a glass of water and took a few gulps to try and force down the increasing nervousness in his stomach, “No, no I just think I’m going a bit deaf in one ear I’ll be fine.”
“Well… If you’re sure. At least tell me if you’re feeling ill.” Her face brightened up, “or need the bathroom, what with all that poison you’re drinking.”
Niggling Feeling started choking on the water he was drinking.
“Mr. Feeling are you okay?! The poisons not supposed to work that fast!”
Niggling got off the chair and started slowly standing legs shaking. “I-I-I think I should go.”
Twilight started moving towards him “Look Mr. Feeling, you are not alright. You’re shaking and look terrified! I think I better call a doctor, maybe he can help you.”
‘Help me? You mean cut me open, torture me, and find out everything I know …. Wait a minute, why am I thinking like this? I haven’t thought like this since—‘
His eyes widened “I need to go now!”
Twilight looked at him with concern, “I really think you should—“
“I NEED TO GO RIGHT NOW!” He took off at a mad dash, away from Twilight, the interview, everything, and didn't stop.
“It can’t be happening it just can’t be happening! Oh why is this happening, why, why, why?!”
“Because you deserve it.”
He stopped, his eyes wide. “No, no no no no no no!”
“You think you deserve a happy life? A stupid ugly fuck like you? Don’t make me laugh! The only thing people like you deserve is misery, and that’s all a piece of shit like you is ever going to get.”
Once often seen around the suburbs and streets of Manehatten, it seemed to the residents that the beloved author Niggling Feeling simply disappeared from public eye. Neighbors reported hearing sobbing and incessant chatter coming from his house, but they never saw him leave, and his windows seemed opaque, as if to keep people from seeing inside. While the wails they heard convinced them he was still alive they wondered how. He hadn't been seen leaving in over six months, and he couldn't possible have that much food to eat could he? Either way, they felt the problem would go away on its own and he’d be back to normal and writing in no time.
Niggling Feeling was on the floor again today. The combination of ‘His’ and ‘Her’ voices were consistently sending him into despair day after day. Their voices had never been this strong before, never had this effect. One day, when he was still new to Equestria, he had been brave enough to see what medications they had, just in case. At the time it slightly bothered him that they had never heard of many mental illnesses, let alone schizophrenia. This didn't bother him much then, but it was hell now. What had they done after that query? Did they look through human text books? Did they see what it was? Perhaps they correlated his behavior to the descriptions and realized what he had. What would they do? Would they kill him to preserve harmony? Kill him because he could be dangerous? Kill him because he knew that they would think to kill him? Kill him because their doctor wanted to dissect his brain?
Niggling Feeling curled himself into a ball, and cried
.
