Shameless, Goofy, Mostly Unrelated Clop Collection!

by Black John

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Human, Romance
Length: 2908

Gloriously cloppy one-shots featuring various pones! Some canon to each other, some not so much. Enjoy!

Before you read any of this, know that there will be no rape, odd/extreme fetishes, incest, anthro or foalcon in this collection of semi-serious, blatantly shameless clop.

Goofy, silly clop for the sake of goofy, silly clop!

Some of the clop will be canon to others, some of it won't, Either way, enjoy it you sick bastards!

I am working full time on my other story, but will happily take any/all suggestions, barring rape, odd/extreme fetishes, incest, anthro or foalcon. This is meant to be a collection of goofy, semi-serious clop, not anything dark or off-putting to a large number of readers.
Also, I think anthro ponies are weird. Brrr.
Anyhow, if you have a suggestion, leave a comment, or even send me a PM entailing said suggestion and a prompt (optional, but it'll probably mean your suggestion gets written faster), and I'll masturbate to consider it!

One last thing:
Don't be a cunt to other users. You don't like someone's fetish, then deal with it. Don't attack anyone over what they like or don't like.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-11 00:10:51 UTC

Twinkie Conquest Arc #1: Happy Birthday, Twilight! (Mane Six, Oral, Futa, Gangbang)

Shameless Inebriated Clop #1!

So this is something I wrote somewhere between my 3rd and 4th pint of Jose Cuervo on a Saturday evening. I finished it up sometime after my 5th pint, around three in the morning. I think. I dunno, I was just a bit intoxicated. Anyways, enjoy!

Once upon a time, there was a party. This party included Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, and all of their bestest friends. Pinkie Pie hosted the party, of course, but this party was no normal Pinkie Pie party. This party was Twilight Sparkle's 21st birthday party, and she was planning on exploiting that to the fullest, and that meant that her friends, who had already turned 21, planned on exploiting her to the fullest. In a friendly way, of course, but they were gonna get themselves some of that tight, tasty purple plot tonight.

"Hey, hey girlsh, wanna play shpin the bottle...?"

This being her very first time drinking, coupled with the fact that she was a unicorn, and therefore a natural lightweight, Twilight was drunk after just five shots of tequila. Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Rarity, also being natural lightweights, were drunk after seven shots. Pinkie Pie and Applejack, being earth ponies, were more than capable of handling their liqour, and they were giving each other sideways glances, waiting for their friends to get completely plastered before they made their moves. Of course, Pinkie Pie, being the youngest and more enthusiastic between her and Applejack, was starting to get a wee bit drunk herself. That led her to chugging the rest of her cider, and slamming the bottle in the sloppy circle of her five best friends.

"Okay, errypony *hic* les'... les' play shpin the bottle! Twilight, yous *hic* yoush go firsht, shexy!"

Twilight gave her a drunken grin and spun the bottle. It landed on Rarity, who was just as trashed as Twilight was. Twilight flashed a nervous smile at the wide, creepy grin on Rarity's face as Rarity slowly advanced on her, licking her lips as she did so.

"Ummm, ma-*hic*-maybe we should play- mmmphhhh!"

Twilight found herself unable to finish her sentence as the alabaster unicorn tackled her, mashing her lipstick covered lips against Twilight's. She struggled for just a second before she gave in, allowing Rarity to push her experienced tongue into her mouth, and they fought for dominance. Twilight lost, of course, as Rarity was the oldest, and had quite a bit of experience, having celebrated four other 21st birthdays in this particular manner. Twilight closed her eyes and moaned into Rarity's mouth as she felt her hindlegs being spread apart. She opened her eyes to see that Applejack and Rainbow Dash were holding her forelegs down, planting kisses on the limbs from her hooves to her shoulders. She stiffened momentarily when she felt several gusts of hot, moist breath on her tight, virgin marehood. Before she could push Rarity off, or even try to break their kiss, two hot, wet, wriggling tongues and two pairs of lips began moving down her inner thighs. Another low, breathy moan escaped her as the tongues drifted closer and closer to her marehood, before dancing across her outer lips. It was like nothing she had ever experienced when both tongues suddenly plunged into her marehood, expertly wriggling around in her tight pussy. She heard a giggle after she cried out when one of the tongues started dancing over and around her clit.

"I think she likesh that, Fluttershy! You... *hic* you should keep doing that!"

"Mmmmm..."

Twilight wanted to scream with ecstasy, to express just how good her best friends were making her feel, but Rarity wasn't allowing her any leeway. She could barely breath between the moist lips and tongue dominating her mouth, and the pair of tongues, Pinkie and Fluttershy's, wriggling in her pussy, rapidly bringing her to an explosive climax. She finally got her chance, however, when Rarity planted one final kiss on her lips just as she orgasmed, grinding her marehood against Fluttershy and Pinkie's faces as she came hard.

"Mmmm, juicy!"

"Hah... G-girlsh, that... that wash sho... wonderful... I-I lo-"

Her brain quit working, followed by her mouth, when she noticed Rarity's horn glowing, and the long, thick stallionhood growing between her legs.

"Oooh, are you gonna go in dry, Rarity?"

"Of course not, Pinkie. Twilight is much too delicate, much too petite for me to do that."

She flashed a wicked grin at the currently incapacitated unicorn, who responded with a moan and a buck of her hips as the mares tag-teaming her dripping wet marehood hit a particularly sensitive spot at the same time.

"Of course, I'll need somepony to get me nice and wet, though. Any takers?"

Neither Pinkie or Fluttershy stopped their ministrations, nor did Applejack or Rainbow show any desire to take the white behemoth in their mouths. Twilight, however, in her horny, intoxicated state, was all for it, just as Rarity had hoped.

"Rare... Rarity, I-I'll do it! Shtick... shtick in my mouth, pleashe!"

Rarity eagerly complied, slowly hilting her faux stallionhood in Twilight's mouth. Twilight eagerly began sucking on the thick rod, shivering with pleasure at the sensation of two tongues roaming her nether regions, the kisses, licks and nips being placed all over her forelegs and barrel, and the long, thick stallionhood lodged in her throat. It wasn't too long, however, before Twilight couldn't breath, but Rarity pulled out just as Twilight reached the brink of unconciousness. As Twilight coughed and spluttered for breath, Rarity knelt down and whispered into her ear.

"Do you want it rough, or gentle, darling?"

Twilight had barely gasped out the word 'rough', before Rarity was nudging Pinkie and Fluttershy aside to claim her prize. Her tight, purple, virgin prize. Rainbow, Pinkie, Applejack and even timid little Fluttershy would all get their turns, but Twilight was all Rarity's at the moment. Twilight let out a tiny gasp as she felt the tip of Rarity's faux stallionhood pressing against her tight entrance, followed by a drawn out, shuddering moan as Rarity slowly penetrated Twilight. The only thing Twilight could think of was how large Rarity was, it almost felt unnatural to feel so... full, to feel herself being spread apart so wide. If she didn't know any better, she would've thought that Rarity was trying to split her in half! On the other hoof, Rarity could barely focus on anything other than how tight Twilight was, it almost hurt!  For nearly a minute, Rarity guided her massive shaft into Twilight's wonderfully tight pussy as the rest of their friends watched, desperately trying to keep their hooves off themselves. Rarity finally hilted herself in Twilight, both of them trembling from the sensations of each other's genitals being buried inside and wrapped around each other, before a yelp from Twilight marked the beginning of one of the fiercest ruttings she would ever recieve. Twilight's ecstasy-filled moans quickly gave way to pained gasps and agonized whimpers as Rarity stretched the poor mare to her body's limits and beyond.

"I-I-I ch-changed my mind! Gentle! Pleashe, be gentle!"

Her weak cries fell on deaf ears as Rarity humped away, lost in the tightness of Twilight's marehood. Pinkie was too busy burying her pink snout into Fluttershy's even pinker pussy, while Rainbow Dash took the opportunity to shove her marehood into Twilight's face as Rarity held her down and thrust away. Applejack, having been granted her own faux stallionhood by Rarity, shoved it down Rainbow's throat as Twilight ate her tight pussy out. Rainbow Dash eagerly suckled and nibbled on the massive orange rod as Twilight's inexperienced tongue explored her marehood.

"Oh, Twilight, darling, I-I'm about to c-cuu-uuu-m!"

Any misgivings Twilight held against Rarity disappeared once she felt Rarity's faux seed painting her womb, sending her over the edge of another explosive orgasm. Rarity reluctantly pulled out once she finished riding Twilight to completion, immediately mounting Pinkie as the party pony skillfully ate Fluttershy's pussy. The sound of slapping flesh filled the treebrary again as Rarity began rutting Pinkie harder than she had Twilight. Pinkie, of course, didn't lose a beat, having "partied" with Rarity many times before. Applejack, however, was carefully massaging Twilight's abused marehood with her tongue, and doing a damn fine job at it, judging by the squeaks and moans escaping Twilight whenever Rainbow let her come up for air. Rarity had cast her faux-stallionhood spell on Rainbow, as she was the third oldest, and the rainbow-maned pegasus wasted no time in shoving it down Twilight's throat. Applejack finished tongue-bathing Twilight's pussy and planted a long, passionate kiss on Twilight's throat where Rainbow's head was bulging it out, sending all three of them into ecstasy-induced shivers. After that was done, Applejack nibbled Twilight's ear and whispered to her.

"Don't you worry now, sugarcube. I won't be as rough as Rarity was on ya, okay?"

Twilight nodded as well as she could on her back with an eight inch shaft filling her mouth and throat, focusing all of her attention on giving Rainbow the best damn blowjob she could-

"Oh sweet Celestia, you're tight, sugarcube! This really is your first time, isn't it?"

Once again, Twilight nodded as best she could. Applejack just laid on top of Twilight for a good minute, her massive faux-stallionhood buried to the hilt in Twilight's tight pussy. It felt good enough to send Twilight over the edge again, but she needed more, she needed the violent thrusting, the feeling of somepony's hips slapping against hers- ooooohhhhhh, that was it...

"Ya doing okay there, sugarcube?"

Okay? Twilight felt AMAZING, so she gave Applejack another difficult nod, and was rewarded with another kiss on her throat where Rainbow had her shaft buried. Pinkie found herself in the same position that Twilight was in, with Fluttershy sticking her newly acquired faux stallionhood down Pinkie's throat as Rarity sprayed her seed into Pinkie's marehood for the third time. Applejack and Rainbow began to make out as they thrusted in and out of Twilight's incredibly tight pussy and mouth, slowly building towards a mutual climax. Just as Applejack and Rainbow blew their load simultaneously, Twilight came hard for the third time that night, eagerly bucking her hips against Applejack as she greedily swallowed every ounce of seed that Rainbow could give her. She let out a needy whine as Applejack and Rainbow pulled out, leaving her with a horrible feeling of emptiness at both ends of her body.

"Mmmmmmmm... I didn't know that even a unicorn could be that tight, Twi!"

Rainbow wasted no time in giving Twilight's pussy her own tongue-bathing, taking care to lick up every single bit of Applejack's seed that she could. Twilight tried wrapping her hindlegs around Rainbow's neck and head to keep her there, but the athletic pegasus quickly overpowered the drunk, tired unicorn and hilted herself in Twilight. Twilight let out a loud, shuddering moan as Rainbow began to thrust back and forth, almost as hard as Rarity had. It didn't really hurt so much as it felt beyond amazing, as her tight pussy had quickly grown accustomed to the abuse. Fluttershy's quiet voice drifted into Twilight's ear as she stood over the birthday mare, her own rather large faux stallionhood erect and hanging just out of Twilight's reach.

"Oh, Twilight, I really really hope you're enjoying your birthday party. I-I'm going to throatfuck you now, i-if you don't mind, that is..."

Twilight answered her with a desperate whine, and Fluttershy made haste with allowing Twilight to swallow her massive butter-yellow rod. Rarity had taken up Fluttershy's previous position, shoving her large white stallionhood down Pinkie's throat, while Applejack mounted Pinkie and started furiously pounding the pink mare. Rarity hadn't cast her spell on Pinkie yet, as she was content to lay on her back and allow her friends to pound her tight pink pussy and mouth to their hearts content. Pinkie was more than happy to go last, as she got to take care of all of her best friends before she took care of herself. Besides, she'd came hard four times already, and once everypony else was asleep, tired from all of their rutting, she was going to give Twilight her birthday present in private, just the two of them.

"Mmmmphhh, Pinkie darling, how do you stay so tight? We've all rutted you harder than this dozens of times before, and you're still as tight as you were when we celebrated your 21st!"

Pinkie was unable to answer, as Rarity was busily humping her face. It was true, though. Whenever she was involved in magical orgies like this one, Pinkie was usually the enthusiastic bottom, spending hours upon hours with at least two mares mounting her, yet she still remained as tight as her very first time. How Pinkie managed to stay so tight, she didn't know, but she sure as tartarus wasn't gonna argue. That just made every orgy she was involved in that much better, for all involved. Besides, if what she had planned for Twilight wasn't worth the wait, then it probably wasn't worth it in the first place. Pinkie hoped that Twilight wasn't a screamer, though. She couldn't tell if Twilight was, seeing as the poor mare constantly had a stallionhood thrusting in and out of her mouth. Oh well, she had bigger things to worry about anyways.

"Oh, Twilight, I-I'm gonna cu-uuu-uuum!!!"

Twilight wasn't too surprised by the amount of seed that Fluttershy sprayed down her throat, but she still had a bit of difficulty swallowing all of it. However, when Twilight Sparkle puts her mind to something, she gets it accomplished, whether it be reading two dozen books in a weekend, or swallowing what felt like gallons of faux seed. Fluttershy had just finished riding Twilight's mouth to completion when Rainbow let out a little scream and painted Twilight's womb with her seed, sending Twilight over the edge once more. Her loins were beginning to ache at that point, but she wanted nothing more than to be filled again. Fluttershy wordlessly withdrew from Twilight's throat and started her gentle cleaning of Twilight's sore pussy as Rainbow mounted Pinkie, Applejack took Rarity's spot mounting Pinkie's mouth, and Rarity sauntered over to Twilight, ready for another throat-fucking session with the lavender mare. Twilight barely had time to lick her lips and take a deep breath before Rarity was buried to the hilt in her throat, slowly thrusting in and out as Fluttershy finished lapping up the seed that leaked from Twilight's marehood. Twilight stiffened up as she felt Fluttershy's faux stallionhood penetrating her, eliciting a tiny whine from Rarity as she momentarily stopped sucking. By Celestia, Fluttershy was huge! Twilight knew that Fluttershy was larger than everypony else, but she hadn't felt that much larger when she was thrusting in and out of he throat! Thankfully, Fluttershy managed to hilt herself without actually hurting Twilight, and her thrusting wasn't anywhere close to as hard as the rest of her friends. Twilight felt herself nearing the edge once again as Fluttershy gently rutted her, the difference between Fluttershy's gentle, deep thrusts and Rarity's rapid, fierce thrusts was driving her crazy! Fluttershy eagerly locked lips with Rarity as they pounded their ex-virginal friend, while Rainbow and Applejack did the same as they savagely fucked Pinkie.

And so it went, the sounds of slapping flesh, ecstasy filled grunts, moans, squeaks and squeals lasting well into the night as Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash rotated between rutting Pinkie and Twilight, until all but one mare dropped to the treebrary floor, panting with exhaustion as Rarity's faux stallionhod spells wore off. Just before Rarity could nod off, Pinkie limped over to her and whispered in her ear. Rarity let out a tiny gasp as she glanced over at a semi-concious Twilight, laying in a small puddle of sweat, seed and her own juices.

"Pinkie Pie, you wonderful brute of a mare! How can you still have the energy for that?"

Pinkie giggled as she nibbled on Rarity's ear.

"I didn't really do anything, Rarity. All I did was lay on my back!"

Rarity's jaw dropped as Pinkie bounced in place. The last time Rarity had been rutted like Pinkie, she couldn't walk for a day! But, Pinkie did have a point. She had allowed everypony else to use her as a... pincushion, of sorts, while they waited on their turn with the birthday mare. Pinkie let out another giggle as she felt Rarity's spell washing across her body, and a nine inch faux-stallionhood started growing between her legs. Sensing that Pinkie was probably very eager to start rutting Twilight, Rarity quickly coated the entire pink behemoth with saliva, eliciting a soft moan from Pinkie.

"Thanks Rarity!"

PInkie pecked her on the lips and bounced towards Twilight, licking her lips as she grabbed a half-empty pint of tequila.

"Twiiiiiillllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiggghhhhtttt... wakey wakey!"

Twilight mumbled in her sleep and rolled over, prompting Pinkie to scoop the unicorn up and deposit her on her back. Twilight stirred awake as Pinkie started trotting upstairs, taking a swig from her bottle of tequila.

"P-Pinkie? Wheresh... *hic* wheresh wesh going?"

Pinkie trotted into Twilight;s bedroom and deposited the drunk birthday mare on her bed. She locked the doors, and closed the blinds before she answered Twilight, slowly penetrating the horny, abused mare as she did so.

"We're going for a ride..."

As it turned out, Twilight was a screamer.

Twinkie Conquest Arc #2: The Start of Something Beautiful (Pinkie/Twilight, Oral, Futa, Domination, Pet Play)

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