The Life and Death of April Fool
The Life and Death of April Fool
by Prak
Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria—or more specifically, under a rock in a particularly smelly bit of the Everfree Forest, next to Froggy Bottom Bogg—lived a unicorn named April Fool.
Where did she come from? How did she survive beneath that rock? Nopony knows.
Why did she live there in the first place? Nopony knows that either. It was not due to shame, for she was an attractive mare, with a coat like snow and a mane like a ray of golden sunshine. It was not because she was poor, for she always had bits to spend. It was most certainly not because she was awkward, for everypony who met her knew that she was a friendly and outgoing sort.
Indeed, she was known by others, for although she remained beneath her rock for three hundred and sixty-four days of the year, she always emerged on the first day of April. With the first rays of sunlight, she would rise from the earth, then travel to one of the nearby towns. There, she would frolic and play with the locals until the sky grew dark, then retire to the underside of her rock for another year.
This year, as with every other in recent memory, ponies of all ages had gathered from every town or village within walking distance, hoping to bring April Fool back to their home for the day. Of course, traveling into the forest was normally too dangerous for even the bravest of ponies, but for some reason, on the first of April, all the monsters decided they had better things to do than snacking on hapless equines.
The first contingent to arrive had been the Appleloosans. Their glances shifted nervously between the boulder in the clearing and the family of manticores behind them, which were being taught to build dams by a beaver wearing a monocle.
The ponies of Tallahayseed were the next on the scene. Through the misty hills and valleys and rivers, they had journeyed. Alas, their progress was slowed when they encountered a tap dancing serpent, and thus they were forced to take a less desirable location than the Appleloosans; they stood in the center ring of the parasprite circus, ducking every time the sprites on the trapeze swung past.
Last to arrive were the inhabitants of Ponyville. Their position was the worst of all, for they had to stand next to a pair of cragadiles, wrestling in a muddy ring with ropes made from vines. Within minutes of their arrival, the ponies were all covered in filth.
“Gotta give credit where it’s due,” Scootaloo said as she wiped mud from her face. “That was a heck of a suplex.”
Apple Bloom grinned back at her, the white of her teeth breaking the solid coating of brown she wore. Until the mud dripped into her mouth, that is. After a few moments of frantic spitting and sputtering, she wiped her face and turned back to her friends. “Yeah, I reckon that was a pretty good move, but that drop kick off the top rope was better.” As she finished clearing the last of the mud from her face, another wave splashed over them.
Sweetie Belle poked her mostly clean head out from behind Rarity’s extra-large, extra-strong parasol and said, “What was that one called?”
Scootaloo blinked grime from her eyes. “A power bomb,” she grumbled. “I hope they finish soon. We’re never gonna get to see April Fool if they keep going.”
“Don’t y’all fret,” Applejack said as she replaced her muddy stetson with a fresh one. “I think they’re wrappin’ up now.”
Fluttershy had flown over the struggling cragadiles and started the count. “One! Two! Three!” The victorious monster did a lap around the ring while the loser slipped away into the murk.
“About time!” Apple Bloom yelled, struggling to be heard over the other ponies’ stomping and cheering. In their fervor, they nearly overlooked the sunrise.
Sweetie Belle looked back to the boulder just in time to see it enveloped in a yellow glow. “Look! Here she comes!”
The rest of the ponies turned their attention to the boulder as it slowly rose from the ground and April Fool stepped forth from beneath it. Humming a happy tune, she skipped away from the flattened earth and allowed the boulder to fall. It impacted with a thud that sent ripples through the mud, made the parasprites lose their grip on the trapeze, knocked over any pony with less than four hooves on the ground, and drew the attention of the manticores before the beaver yelled at them and made them return to their work.
“Hello, one and all,” she called. “I am April Fool, and this is my day. I want to have fun; with whom shall I play?”
As one, the parents pushed their foals forward. A stampede of small hooves pressed forward, surrounding the smiling mare, all vying for her attention.
“Please come play with me, April Fool!” one filly cried, but April Fool turned away and paid her no mind.
“April Fool, come to my town,” a second filly pleaded, yet April Fool turned away and left her pleas unheeded.
Then Sweetie Belle’s voice rose over the din. “April Fool, um… Please come to Ponyville to play. If you do … um ... we’ll have fun all day.”
April Fool’s head turned toward the source of the voice. “I have heard your rhyme, my sweet little filly, and you have passed my test, though it be silly. Lead me now to your nearby town. We’ll have fun ‘til the sun goes down. We shall laugh and play while we have the light still, all together in your hometown, that place you mentioned before.”
The entire clearing went silent. Even the manticores stopped gnawing on the trunk of their fallen tree as everypony stared at April Fool in confusion.
“Wait a second,” Sweetie Belle said. “I thought you were talking in rhymes.”
April Fool cocked her head and smiled at Sweetie. “Now when did I say that?” Without waiting for an answer, she skipped away in the direction of Ponyville.
The fillies and colts chased after her, and the adults—with the exception of a single gray earth pony, who found the rock much more interesting than the pony who had crawled out from under it—followed closely behind. They marched past the swamp and through the forest, chatting and gossiping and singing with no fear of the creatures that dwelled within.
They soon emerged from the woods with Ponyville in sight, and April Fool suddenly broke into a gallop, laughing and whooping as the foals, plus Pinkie Pie, gave chase. In the distance behind them, the adults trotted leisurely toward the town.
“Hurry, little ones, for I only have until the sun sets to play!” April Fool shouted as she bounced alongside Pinkie. The foals started to mimic the mares, and soon they were all hopping toward the town.
The adults caught up quickly, and though most chose to follow April Fool, a few went their own way. Among them was Twilight Sparkle, who returned to her library, shaking her head the entire way.
In the town square, the group came to a halt, and April Fool looked around at the fillies and colts. “The day is short, and there is much to do. What shall we play first?”
“How about hide and seek?” Apple Bloom suggested.
“A fine suggestion, but let’s change the rules,” April Fool answered in her singsong voice. “We shall all hide, but I alone am the one you must seek.”
Apple Bloom nodded, then covered her eyes and started to count. The square was abuzz with activity around her, but the sounds were too indistinct to draw any clues. Finally, she reached twenty and opened her eyes.
Indeed, the fillies and colts had vanished, along with April Fool and Pinkie Pie, but the rest of the adults were still standing around, snickering softly. Apple Bloom looked to Applejack, but her sister shook her head. There would be no help in this game.
She began by spreading the leaves of a bush, but inside, she found only Scootaloo and Rumble. She lifted a box, and Dinky waved back at her. Sweetie Belle greeted her from behind a door, and Pipsqueak was located in the boughs of a tree, but there was no sign of April Fool.
Then, at last, she finally spotted the top of a yellow mane, poking up above a mailbox.
Like a predator on the hunt, she crept close to the narrow pole, and a quick flick of a golden tail from behind it confirmed her suspicion. She leapt around to the side of the pole, but while there was a mare hiding behind it, it was just Pinkie Pie in a yellow wig.
As Pinkie took a deep breath and popped back into a properly three-dimensional shape, a soft giggle came from within the mailbox. She flipped it open, expecting to find her quarry, but was met instead by a more familiar face.
“Scootaloo?” She scratched her head. “Wait a minute. How can ya be in there? Weren’t you just in that—”
The sound of a zipper being pulled echoed through the square, and April Fool stood up from the bush with Rumble atop her back. “Oh, what fun!” she exclaimed. “Which game shall we try next?”
“I know,” said Sweetie Belle. “Let’s play tag!”
April Fool beamed at her. “A wonderful idea! Come, children, and let us begin. This time, we shall all be ‘It’ and Pinkie Pie will be the one we try to tag!”
The foals glanced uncertainly from one to another, and Pinkie rubbed her hooves together, a low chuckle emanating from her behind her mischievous grin. April Fool grinned right back at her, though.
“To win, we have to tag her with one of these,” she said, holding a pie in her gentle golden grip.
And so they laughed and played until the sun ebbed low, casting long shadows across the town. As she laid amongst the tired children, April Fool looked over the pie-stained, toilet paper-covered buildings, as well as the formerly pie-stained Pinkie Pie, who had probably gained ten pounds from licking herself clean, and was now snoring loudly on the grass.
“I must go home now, my little friends, for when daylight fades, time for fun ends. Return to my rock in one more year; I shall see you when I next appear.” She hugged them each in turn and exchanged farewells, then set off on the path leading away from the town.
After turning around to wave goodbye one last time, April Fool stepped into the gloom of the Everfree Forest. The golden glow from her horn lit the spaces between the trees as the sun dipped below the horizon, and as the rest of the ponies watched, the light disappeared deeper into the woods.
In one of the cellars of Canterlot Castle, lit only by a thin beam of moonlight shining through a small window near the ceiling, a door hidden in a stone wall slid open, and a single pony stepped through.
As Celestia carefully slid the door back into place, making next to no noise even as the rocks scraped against one another, a voice rang out from the darkness. “And just where have you been?”
After leaping halfway up to the ceiling, Celestia whipped around. “Luna? What are you doing down here?”
“I could ask you the same,” Luna said as she stepped forward, allowing the moonlight to illuminate her face.
Celestia backed away from her. “I’m not doing anything. I was just… exploring this tunnel I just found?”
Luna’s eyes narrowed. “You were exploring it all day, were you?”
“You’re not going to believe me if I say ‘yes,’ are you?”
“No.”
Sighing, Celestia turned around to look at the wall and finish closing the door. “It’s just a silly thing I do every year. It’s completely harmless.”
“Yes, I am aware of what you’ve been doing. Twilight Sparkle saw through your disguise and asked me about it.” With a faint pop, a letter appeared in Luna’s magical grasp. “Sister, you are acting in a manner unbefitting of royalty, and I will not allow it to continue. Henceforth, you shall no longer assume the guise of this April Fool.”
A long moment of silence passed between them, with neither sister moving a muscle as they stared into one another’s eyes. Eventually, Celestia broke the stalemate.
“You intend to try it for yourself next year.”
“Absolutely.”
Author's Note
Happy April Fool's Day, folks!
