The Centaur Does Not Hold

by kudzuhaiku

Rating: teen
Tags: Derpy Hooves, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Sparkler, Dinky Hooves, Original Character, Flower Ponies, Comedy, Random
Length: 1119

Three centaur fillies, a gift from the rectal raiding extra equestrials, come to Ponyville, along with Buttermilk and Rhubarb. What will the townsponies think?

The three centaur fillies, mutant hybrids of ponies and the strange creatures that live beyond the mirror, have come to Ponyville.

Bon Mot, with her magic ears.

Cafe Mocha, with her mutant earth pony strength.

And Betelgeuse. The pegasus centaur with the probing finger.

These three, along with Rhubarb and Buttermilk, have taken residence in a townhouse in the town of Ponyville.

Published 2014-04-03 00:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-04 22:15:26 UTC

Chapter 1: What rough beast approaches Ponyville

Author's Note

Really, you need to click this before reading.

It started off as a bad story. Then it evolved into a terrible story. And then I became attached to the characters and I had to make them real. So forgive me my indulgences.

Chapter 1: What rough beast approaches Ponyville

Cafe Mocha sat in the middle of a large flower garden. While she had been outdoors a few times before, she had never experienced anything like this. She lacked the words to even begin to describe what she was feeling, the sheer joy of it all. The flowers, the soil, the smell of earth and flora filling her nose, it was overwhelming and it spoke to something deep inside of her. She supposed that it was her earth pony nature, something she did not yet understand.

Bon Mot was nearby, reading a book, as Bon Mot was wont to do, and Betelgeuse stood nearby, balanced on one hoof, standing upon a fence post, being an annoying show off. They didn’t understand. Cafe Mocha settled herself into the dirt a little more, squirming her legs folded under her, pressing her hands into the soil and wiggling her fingers.

Ponyville was still a little spooked by them. All of them. Betelgeuse took a perverse delight in scaring them. Cafe Mocha felt a little bad about all of the spooked ponies. She raised her head, looking around. Buttermilk was reading a magazine and reclining in a chair on the porch. Rhubarb was still in the kitchen, probably fixing a meal.

“Hi.” squeaked a small voice.

Cafe Mocha turned, seeing a pink mare with golden hair. She had a lily in her mane. She smiled, carefully, not wanting to actually spook anypony.

“My name is Lily Valley. I hope you are enjoying the garden.” The pink mare said, nodding, smiling faintly, a faint hint of fear visible.

Cafe Mocha rose to her hooves and brushed dirt off from her pelt. “Hi.” She said, waving a hand. She saw fear and felt her heart sink a bit.

“You’re our neighbor.” Lily said.

Cafe Mocha nodded. She pointed. “That’s Betelgeuse.” She pointed again. “And that’s Bon Mot.”

Lily nodded.

Cafe Mocha smiled shyly.

“You are very different.” Lily said.

“I’m a centaur.” Cafe Mocha replied.

“I was told about you, before you came here. When the other half of our townhouse was first rented. And Derpy told me all about you as well. Dinky thinks very highly of you.” Lily said, her tone still cautious.

“Dinky is my friend.” Cafe Mocha said.

Lily smiled broadly and spoke; “The three of us…” she paused, looking thoughtful for a moment, carefully choosing her words, “the three of us, my roommates and I, we have a foal that we are raising together. His name is Butterbean. And he’ll be home from school soon. He’s Dinky’s friend as well.”

“Three of you?” Cafe Mocha said, her face scrunched with curiousity.

“Well, there is Daisy, Roseluck, and myself. We’re… Roommates.”

“Oh.” Said Cafe Mocha innocently. “Sometimes, I think Rhubarb and Buttermilk are roommates. But they get flustered and weird if I bring it up.”

“Oh. Oh my. Oh, uh…” Lily’s words died and she blushed deeply.

“It is okay really. I know all about biology. I’ve paid attention in my science classes. What you are doing is perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of.” Cafe Mocha said.

“I see.” Lily said, still blushing, her entire body looking a bit more pink than usual.

“Watch out for Bon Mot.” Cafe Mocha warned. “She’ll ask embarrassing questions. Like she does Buttermilk.”

“Embarrassing questions?” Lily asked, slightly confused.

“Like how to milk a minotaur.” Cafe Mocha said, rolling her eyes slightly. “I mean, come on, everypony knows that. Bon Mot is just being silly.”

Lily nodded, not knowing, not sure if she wanted to know.

Bon Mot, hearing her name, carefully pranced through the garden, coming over to introduce herself. “Hi!” She said. “I’m Bon Mot.”

Lily nodded. “My name is Lily.”

“I know.” Bon Mot said. “And there is Daisy and Roseluck. I actually listened when Rhubarb gave us this information, unlike the numbskull and the brute.”

“Snob.” Cafe Mocha said.

Bon Mot stuck out her tongue at her sister, causing Lily to giggle.

“Do you like my garden?” Lily asked.

“It is alright.” Bon Mot said.

“I love your garden.” Cafe Mocha blurted. “I could spend all day out here.”

“Earth ponies.” Bon Mot said, rolling her eyes. She flicked her ears and winked away, vanishing with a pop. She reappeared a few feet away, looking surprised and more than a little confused. “Ouch. I did it again!” She shouted.

Buttermilk looked up from her magazine and smiled at Bon Mot for a moment, and then went back to reading.

“My sister is weird.” Cafe Mocha said. “Both of them actually.”

“They’re not so bad.” Lily said.

“You do not know Betelgeuse. Give her time to be… Betelgeuse.” Cafe Mocha said.

“Are you going to go to school?” Lily asked.

“Yes.” Cafe Mocha said. “We’ll be starting soon. There is so much we don’t know and I am so eager to learn.”

“You seem smart.” Lily said.

“I’m the stupid one.” Cafe Mocha said sadly. “Both of my sisters are smarter. It’s been scientifically tested. I’m the numbskull earth pony.”

“There’s more to life than being smart.” Lily said.

“Like what?” Cafe Mocha said. “I was told that IQ is everything.”

“Well, being kind. Loving others. Leaving the world a better place than you found it. Planting gardens. Growing green things. Making the world beautiful. All of those things matter.” Lily said patiently, warming up to the earth centaur filly.

“Aw, thank you!” Cafe Mocha said, lunging forward suddenly and sweeping Lily up in a hug. Lily found herself lifted completely off of her hooves, being swung through the air, two strange arms around her barrel. It was an odd situation. She was set back down gently. “Sorry.” Cafe Mocha said. “I’m not supposed to pick ponies up and hug them.”

“That’s okay.” Lily said, finding her smile again. “You can hug me anytime that you’d like.”

Lily found herself swept up in another hug, being swung around in a circle. The horizon danced crazily as she was swung up and down. And then as suddenly as it had started, she was back on her hooves, wobbling slightly.

“I think I’ve made my first friend.” Cafe Mocha said. “I have an objective to make friends.” She explained.

Lily felt her heart melt slightly. The odd creature was certainly friendly. “I would be glad to be your friend.” Lily said, smiling. “It was nice meeting you neighbor.”

Chapter 2: Mare Anarchy is Loosed Upon the World

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