My Little Squirrel: Friendship is Explosive

Chapter 2: Race to Filly

The first town Midi came to was another old western town called Dodge. Midi looked out the window and frowned.

"Pass."

He crossed his arms on the window sill, resting his head on them as he glared out the window at the passing scenery. A few minutes passed by that felt like hours to the bounty hunter. He glanced over at a psychedelic mushroom growing on the window sill, then stared at it for so long, his vision began to zoom in on it as his pupils shrank down.

The mushroom shuddered, then tilted its cap up at the squirrel. "'Ay! What'chu lookin' at, squ?"

Midi raised an eyebrow. "I dunno, what am I looking at?"

"Don' play wit' me, boy!" The mushroom hopped in place and bristled up. "I'm from the Broncs! I will mess you up, squ!"

"Uh-huh." Midi pressed his finger to his thumb and went to flick the mushroom.

"'Ay-'ay-'ay! Don'chu be doin' what I think youz do--AAAAHHHHhhhh!"

Midi watched the tiny fungus go flying out the window towards the back of the train. He groaned and flopped back on the ground, moving his legs in and out in a snow angel motion. "Shoulda switched lines at Dodge..."

The door slid open, and a brown gryphon with purple-tipped feather bangs on her white head poked in. "Hey? Anyone in here?"

Midi tilted his head back at the newcomer. "Oh, hi. Yeah, it's just me in here. Come on in." He got up and sat on the bench so the gryphon could enter.

The gryphon entered and took a seat, eyeing Midi curiously. "You're the weirdest looking diamond dog I've ever seen. Heheh, you almost look like a squirrel, dude."

Midi crossed his arms and smirked. "Heh, actually I am a squirrel, but you were close."

The gryphon grinned back. "Nice. I like squirrels, especially with ketchup."

Midi's smirk melted into a sinister glower. "I'm curious, what do fur and feathers smell like when they're burning at the same time?"

The gryphon laughed and shook her head. "Man, I like you already. Name's Gilda."

Midi put his hands behind his head and rested a leg on his knee. "Midi, AKA the Bomber King. Pleased to meetcha."

The thing Midi noticed about gryphons when he came to Equestria was how they all looked the same with minor color variations. Other than that, they were all the lion/eagle type, and lacked ears, unlike the gryphons of Kyroda, with long, pointy ears and a variety of bird/cat breeds. With race often being a sensitive subject, Midi kept this observation to himself.

"'Bomber King'?" Gilda asked, her interest caught, "So you like the Unibomber or something?"

Midi raised an eyebrow. "Who's the Unibomber?"

"A unicorn who used bombs to blow up buildings," Gilda retold, "He used his magic to summon bombs from a secret stockpile. Even used it to break out of prison several times before they finally cut his horn off..." Gilda chuckled and clicked her beak. "Not to mention another part of him."

The squirrel humphed and turned his head to the side. "Sounds like a real jerk. And summoning bombs? Hah! I make my own on the spot." He held his hand at eye level and conjured an acorn bomb. "Here, check it."

Gilda jumped back. "Whoa, dude! Are you crazy? Put that out!"

"Too late," Midi said, his smirk returning, "ThreetwooneBOOM!"

Giilda gasped and covered her face with her forelegs and wings. The acorn detonated, but instead of fire, the entire compartment was dusted with light, frosty snow.

The gryphon jumped at the chilling sensation and started brushing the snow off herself. "Aw, man, what the heck?"

Midi burst out laughing and pointed at Gilda. "Wow, you should have seen your face!"

Gilda scowled. "So, you can make snow bombs too, huh?"

Midi nodded. "Yup. Fire, ice and lightning are the easiest kinds, but I can do others, too. They tend to be messier, though."

"Can ya do stink bombs?" Gilda asked with enthusiasm.

Midi tapped his chin. "Hmm, I've never tried those. Maybe I could..." His gaze wandered out the window. "We're passing an outpost!" He jumped to his feet and went barreling out the compartment door.

Gilda did a double take. "What? Hey, wait!" She looked out the door at the squirrel bolting down the train hall. She groaned. "Jeeze, just like a squirrel." She considered finding a nice new room without a fine layer of snow, but talking bomber squirrels didn't come around every day. Giving into curiousity, she went after Midi. "If he turns out to be a waste of time, I'm eating 'im."

She made it to the end of the car in time to see the squirrel's tail disappear through the roof hatch. She poked her head up and saw Midi preparing to jump off the train. "You aren't really thinking of jumping, are you?"

Midi looked back at her. "I gotta check for bounties. This place doesn't have internet."

"You're crazy!" Gilda shouted over the wind, "We're going seventy miles an hour!"

Midi shrugged and went back to waiting on the edge. There was a building with the Equestrian flag flying on the roof coming up. The squirrel licked his lip and grinned, then jumped at the last second and performed a perfect somersaulting dismount right into the outpost wall.

Gilda, meanwhile, had climbed up and used her wings as a drag chute to stop herself and flutter towards their destination. She oohed at Midi when he slammed into the wall and watched him slide down onto the ground. "Man, that's gotta hurt." She came to a landing. "Well, I just watched some guy commit suicide, and now I gotta fly the rest of the way to Fillydelphia. Nice."

"I'm not dead," Midi said into the dirt.

"Oh, goody! Now I get to kill you myself," Gilda snarked as she walked towards him.

Midi picked himself up and dusted himself off. "Bah, I've been through worse, you included." He grinned at the gryphon and waved at her to follow him. "You coming or what?"

Gilda scowled. "Hey, don't treat me like some tag-along!"

Midi folded his arms. "Nobody asked you to follow me, so that does make you a tag-along."

Gilda opened her beak to protest, then closed it and looked off to the side at the ground. She followed Midi inside, grumbling to herself.

The squirrel strutted up to the desk of a unicorn officer and braced his arm so he could lean on it, looking the stallion in the eye. "Sup, mah main pony," he said with macho gusto, "Got any good leads for me?"

The officer raised an eyebrow. "And you are?"

Midi examined the claws on his free hand. "Midi Waffle, the Bomber King, recently captured Bullet Bill." He shifted his eyes towards the unicorn. "And in case that didn't tip you off, I'm the main character here, so you gotta give me a quest."

The unicorn sighed. Great, another nutcase. Just what I need. "What kind of quest?"

Midi shrugged. "You know, outlaws, monsters, although I haven't dug up a lost treasure in a while."

"Do we look like a museum?" the officer asked gruffly.

"So that's a no on the treasure?"

"Yeah, that's a no."

Midi sighed and hung his head, propping himself on both arms. "OK, fine, who's the most dangerous outlaw. Come on, gimme a name."

The officer sized Midi up. "Did you really take down Bullet Bill?"

"Yes," Midi said somewhat forcefully, "You can even ask Sheriff Silver Star in Appleloosa." He stood up and raised his chin proudly. "It was a fight that town will never forget."

"Hm," the officer nodded, "Alright then..." He began sifting through wanted papers. "Jack the Tripper, the Pale Mare, Miller the Killer,,,"

"Ooh!" Midi began to wag his tail. "Gimme Miller! Gimme gimme gimme!"

"Oops, nope, sorry," the officer put that file away, "That case was closed a week ago."

"Aww, shoot." Midi pounded the air in front of himself. "Well, what about that Jack guy?"

"Jack the Tripper," the officer read aloud, "Suspect last seen in Fillydelphia. Known for tripping ponies on the street in places where they are prone to injury, then robs them while they're down. General hospital's been filling up with broken noses. Bounty is four hundred bits."

"Hm." Midi tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Definitely not as good as Bullet Bill, buuuuut I'll take it."

"Alright." The stallion stamped the form with the word 'SANCTIONED', the stamp bearing the insignia of the Equestrian royal police department, then hoofed the paper to Midi. "Just have the local police sign this when you make the arrest, then go to he mayor for payment."

Midi took the form and gave the officer a cocky thanks. As he walked out, he waved the folder at Gilda. "We got us a mark!"

Gilda was sitting in the lobby with her arms crossed. "Whadaya mean 'we'?"

Midi pouted at her. "Aww, you mean you don't wanna be my partner in crime fighting? I'll split the bounty with ya."

The gryphon raised an eyebrow at him. "Seriously?"

"Well, that's unless you've got something more important to do." Midi's grin turned into a quizzical look. "What were you gonna do in Fillydelphia, anyway?"

Gilda hesitated for a second, and her eyes briefly flicked to her left. "Uh, lookin' for somepony."

"Somepony?" Midi asked.

"What about it?" Gilda scowled.

Midi put his arms behind his head in a relaxed pose. "Oh, nothing. Just... somepony? Not some gryphon? Or some dragon?"

"Somepony," Gilda growled.

"Do I sense hostility~?" Midi teased.

"Just drop it!" Gilda snapped.

Midi's smug grin dropped immediately, and he turned his head straight forward, keeping his arms where they were.

After a moment, Gilda glanced at her squirrely companion and noticed something was missing. "Hey, where's that folder, anyway?"

"In my tail."

Gilda reached into his tail fluff and found nothing. "It's gone now."

"Is it?" Midi said with a clear smirk in his voice.

The gryphon snorted. "Fine, be that way. Just don't blame me if you lose it."

"Speaking of losing it..." Midi pointed straight ahead. "We're here!"

Gilda looked at the bilboard beside the rail Midi was pointing at that read 'WELCOME TO FILLYDELPHIA!' She raised an eyebrow. "What does that have to do with--"

"Race you there! READYSETGO!" Midi bolted forward, kicking up dust as he ran.

Gilda's eye twitched. She didn't know what irritated her more, that this squirrel reminded her of 'somepony', or that she was actually about to lose a race. She crouched down and lunged forward, closing the gap between her and her bipedal opponent.

Midi laughed and held his arms up as he jumped and grabbed onto the top of a large boulder directly in his path. He tumbled over it, kicked off the other side, and used that to increase his speed.

Gilda caught up and shot him an impressed grin. "Nice move. Try an' top this!" She spread her wings and used them to boost her jump into a tree, then tucked her legs and wings in and shot between the limbs like a missile, then spread her wings at the first instant and glided back into race formation.

The two were neck and neck, but Gilda was holding back; she had to if someone with two legs was going to keep up, and she wanted it to feel more sporting. Midi noticed this and called her out.

"Hey, featherhead!" he shouted, "I'd rather lose fair than win because you felt sorry for me. Now nut up and show me what'chu got!"

Gilda chuckled. "You asked for it!" She broke into a full run and used her wings to boost herself forward, still staying on the ground. She left Midi in the dirt and laughed. Her laughter was cut short by a loud BOOM! and a gust of hot air pushed her forward.

Midi shot forward past her with his arms held behind him. He spawned a pair of bombs in his hands and used the blast to go faster, soon taking the lead.

"What the heck is that?" Gilda screeched as the squirrel passed her by.

"I said don't hold back, didn't I?" Midi laughed and kept running.

They were coming into rough terrain. Rather than go for the bridge the train was taking, Midi leapt from rock to rock, occasionally flipping and using his tail as a spring. Gilda followed close behind, electing to skim and graze the sides of the rocks while pulling herself forward. The two came out at the same instant into the plain for the final stretch.

The city limit was only meters away now. Midi was starting to feel his stamina draining away now that the adrenaline was wearing thin. He huffed and pushed himself, but he was falling behind all the same. He watched Gilda take the lead and sprinted to close the distance, determined to cut his loss.

Right before she crossed the line, Gilda tripped and tumbled forward, skidding to a stop with her beak just inches from the finish. Midi crossed it and skidded to a halt, the jumped in the air and did a fist pump.

"Eeeeyess!" he cheered, "In yo face! I knew I could take ya!"

Gilda got to her feet and dusted her chest feathers off. "Yeah, yeah. I woulda had ya if not for that dumb stone in the way."

"Maybe," said Midi, "But, all's fair in love and war, eh featherhead?" He playfully punched her on the shoulder.

Gilda loosened up and shared in the comradery. "Hah, yeah. Don't you worry, fuzzball, I'll get you next time."

Midi scowled and spoke in a deep, scratchy voice. "Next time, Gilda! Next time!" He laughed and started walking down the street, crossing his arms behind his head again.

The gryphon's grin went down a bit as she watched Midi walk away. She looked back at the patch of smooth, featureless ground where she tripped. Why did I let him win? She shook the thought away and followed the squirrel. Stupid fuzzball.

As she caught up, Gilda's stomach began to growl. "Hey, dude. All that runnin's got me starved."

"Yeah, me too," Midi replied, "Know any good places around here?"

"There's the Chineighse place down near the stadium," Gilda said, pointing down a road, "Speaking of which, the Wonderbolts are gonna be doing a show there tomorrow. What's say you an' me catch the action, huh?"

"Who are the Wonderbolts?" Midi asked with his eyebrow raised.

Gilda's eyes widened. "You've never heard of them?"

"Duh!" Midi retorted, "I've only been in Equestria for a couple weeks, and I spent most of that time traveling and fighting."

"Right, right," Gilda said with a nod, "Anyway, they're Equestria's top stunt flying team. They also do emergency work, too, sometimes." She looked up as a few pegasi passed overhead. "Word has it, they recently recruited a new member. Normally no big deal, but it is when they come recommended by Princess Sparklebutt."

Midi snickered. "I take it you don't like the princess, huh?"

Gilda shrugged. "What can I say? Our first and only encounter didn't go so smoothly."

"Ahh..." Midi rubbed his chin, then suddenly and dramatically pointed his finger right against her beak. "AHA! I figured it out!"

Gilda gulped and lurched back. "Figured what out?"

"The 'somepony'!" Midi exclaimed, then paused.

Gilda blinked. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!" the squirrel stated triumphantly, "You want... You want..." He held up the suspense. "You want to get an autograph from the new Wonderbolt!"

The gryphon took a second to process, then feigned a laugh. "Hah-haaa, yeah! You got me! That's exactly it!"

Midi fistpumped. "Hah! Knew I'd get it!"

Gilda shook her head and kept walking.

"You must be a die hard Wonderbolt fan, huh?"

Gilda shrugged. "Eh, not die hard, but pretty into them. Although, they've never had a gryphon join."

"Eesh, sounds racy," Midi shook his head. "You'd think anyone with wings could join, you know?"

"I don't think it's about race, dude," said Gilda, "Not many gryphons wanna join a pony flight team."

Midi stopped and his ears perked. "Uhh, Gilda."

Gilda facepalmed. "Yes, heard it the moment I said it."

Midi fought back a laugh, but it started to slip until both he and Gilda burst out laughing.

The two eventually came to the Chineighs restraunt, 'Taste Tea Chineighs Fude', and were led to a table for two. The waiter came shortly after with their drinks, took their orders, and then left them. Midi started sipping from his straw, and Gilda propped her arm on the table.

"So," Gilda started, "where are you from, anyway?"

Midi tilted his eyes up at her. "I didn't tell you?" He resumed sipping.

"Nope," said Gilda, "We kinda never got there because you had to go and play train death jumper."

Midi giggled. "Well, it's a long story, so I'll give you the short version: I am an alien from another world."

Gilda's eyes bulged. "Are you serious?"

Midi burst out laughing. "Nah, I'm just kidding."

"Oh." Gilda took a sip of her drink.

"That's the short, short version."

The gryphon did a spit take, spraying soda all over a nearby patron. She didn't care; the just stared at Midi with her beak hanging. "What's the short version?"