Disgust Discussed: Discord's Odd April Fool's Day
by Surry
Discord woke up uneasily from his Canterlot bed, using a long, uncomfortable stretch to work a kink out of his back. He rolled his eyes, taking in the full sight of his room all at once once, but something still felt terribly 'off' to him. Peering over at his calendar, he gasped at the date.
"April first?" he asked himself. "My goodness! How long has it been since I've helped out any of my Ponyville friends? I feel like I haven't seen them in ages!"
He hopped out of bed and landed on his feet, something that always felt foreign to him. He was much more accustomed to gently floating about everywhere he went.
"This has to change, right this instant," he said, raising his hand. "I'll just go visit them all, right now."
He laughed briefly at his 'seriousness'.
With a quick snap of his fingers and a bright flash of chaotic magic, he was off.
The first pony that he visited, unsurprisingly, was Fluttershy. She was quite happy, watering a multitude of flowers around the garden just outside her home, and was immediately startled by the sudden flash of magic that erupted behind her. Letting loose a faint "Yeep!" and dropping her watering can, she slowly and nervously turned to the new presence that had made itself known. When she saw the familiar, yellow sclera of his eyes, she frightfully remembered it was April Fool's day.
"Oh, Discord... heheh," she nervously chuckled, trying to nonchalantly pick up her watering can. "H-how are you? I'm having a perfectly nice April first —with no chaos— and I was just watering the flowers. What can I do for you?"
The draconequus simply stared at her with the brightest smile, silent for the longest time. She found the whole situation somewhat awkward, but was even more shocked when he reached down to her and embraced her in a deep, loving hug. He squeezed her contently, giving her pink mane a playful stroke.
"Oh, Fluttershy!" he happily exclaimed. "I'm feeling so terribly weird today. I just had to come here, all the way from Canterlot, and tell you that I absolutely love having you as a friend. Thank you."
Fluttershy only stuttered in disbelief, uneasily returning his hug. "Y-you do?" she asked. "You didn't come here to set my garden on fire?"
"Now why in blue blazes would I ever do that?" he asked, setting her down gently.
She cocked a hesitant eyebrow at him. "Because it's April Fo—" she suddenly cupped a hoof over her mouth, "Oops, I meant... that's wonderful! I love having you as a friend too!"
"Excellent!" he shouted; he snapped his fingers, immediately returning the watering can to her hooves, completely filled with water. "Mind if I help you?"
"Umm..." she genuinely thought on it, but relented to his puppy-dog eyes. "I mean, sure you can!"
"Amazing!" he exclaimed again."
With another brilliant flash, he once again teleported, this time directly into Golden Oak Library, the home of his resident, favorite princess.
Twilight was busy reading something, a usual habit of hers that Discord didn't particularly care for. She stopped what she was doing when he entered the room, turning to him with utter confusion plaguing her features. She sensed something was amiss, and then dreadfully remembered the date.
"Uh-oh," she mumbled to herself. "What do you want, Discor—?"
She was instantly cut off by one of his gentle hugs.
"Oh, Twilight! I've missed you so much!"
She struggled for a second, but eventually stopped, looking completely flabbergasted as she awkwardly returned his hug.
"Y-you... have?" she inquired.
He released her, then sat playfully upon the floor. "But of course! I'm going to all of my Ponyville friends today to give them all a friendly 'hello'! I feel that I don't do that often enough."
"Yeah," she smirked sarcastically. "You don't do that, ever."
"Well," he said standing up, unable to sit for longer than a few seconds. "You're only stop number two for the day, my favorite princess. I just helped Fluttershy water her garden, and now I must be off to visit my other friends."
"Wait, what?!" she yelped. "But this doesn't make sense! I thought you were going to cause some chaos because it's April Fo—!"
"Bye!" he swiftly shouted, blatantly interrupting her.
A quick snap of his fingers and flash of light later, he was immediately gone, leaving only a very confused Twilight alone once more with her books.
Rarity was quite content sewing some dresses in her upper room of Carousel Boutique, happily humming away a tune that was stuck in her head. All was going according to schedule for her, and her new line of high-class apparel would be finished soon, on time and as planned.
FLASH!
She abruptly stopped at the sound and turned, only to be quickly swept up in the arms of a very empathetic draconequus.
"Discord?!" she cried, struggling in his embrace. "Please don't kidnap me!!"
"Nonsense," he quickly defended, setting her down on the floor.
"W-what?" she stammered in total shock. "W-Why are you here then?"
"Oh, just to tell you that I love having you as a friend," he said with a smile.
He took a cursory glance at some nearby mannequins, all adorned with the exact same patterns stitched into the same type of dresses as the one she had been currently sewing.
"Let me help you with that," he offered, snapping his fingers. The unfinished dress she had been working diligently on was instantly engulfed by his chaotic magic and promptly released back upon the table. When Rarity eyed it carefully, she realized he had completely finished her job for her, making the fabric look brand new and equally elegant.
"B-but, I don't understand," she hastily muttered. "T-thank you, so much!"
"No problem really," he nodded in acceptance. "You may be my least favorite, Rarity, but you're still a favorite nonetheless. That's all that really matters."
SNAP!
FLASH!
Just like that, he was gone again, leaving yet another confused pony to wonder what exactly just happened to her.
Applejack was next on his list, winking into existence behind her as she gave a powerful back kick with her legs. A dull thud broke through the apple tree, resulting in a falling shower of apples that fell into precisely and expertly placed baskets. The whole motion had become routine for the draconequus. He would hug one of his favorite ponies, they would struggle, and they would simply give him a confused look.
Applejack was no different.
"What are ya' doin', Discord?!" she yelped as he calmly set her down.
"Just dropping by," he assured her. "I've only got two more ponies to go! Can you believe it? I should probably save Pinkie Pie for last, wouldn't you agree?"
"Beg yer' pardon?" she asked. "You're just... goin' around, sayin' 'hey' to everypony? That seems a little weird ta' me."
"Ah, typical Applejack," he crossed his arms, shaking his head. "I know you appreciate honesty, so that's why I'll be blunt with you."
She raised an eyebrow, almost afraid of his answer.
"I'm feeling very strange today, if you must know," he said defensively. "I woke up this morning with a sudden, intense urge to just... hug everypony. I couldn't tell you why, because honestly, even I don't know. But, I can tell you that I must be going. I've got two more ponies to see, and I have to leave now, but I've got one last parting gift for you, Applejack."
"Oh no," she muttered worriedly, clenching her eyes shut.
Quite prepared for the worst to happen, she heard a familiar flash of his chaotic magic, and then only stillness. Ever so slowly, she opened her eyes to take in the sight before her... and her jaw nearly dropped to the grass below.
There were baskets, everywhere and underneath every tree in her current section of the orchard, filled to the brim with apples, as every tree had completely given up all of its fruit.
Her work for the day had been accomplished.
"T-thanks... Discord," she said quietly to herself.
FLASH!
The blue pegasus he had found was carefully perched atop a small cloud, sleeping away the day, per the usual. She was abruptly—and rudely—awoken from her awesome dream.
"Hello, Rainbow Dash," he uttered quietly into her ear. "Did I disturb you?"
"Grah..." she grunted in his grasp, attempting to break away from his bear hug. "Discord!! What are you doing?!"
As he did with all the other ponies, he released her when he realized she didn't enjoy his hug as much as he did. She coughed a few times when she was finally free.
"Were you trying to kill me?!" she demanded.
"Not at all," he waved her motion aside with a friendly smile. "I came to tell you how awesome I think you are, and how truly thankful I am to have you as a friend."
She cleared her throat a few times and stared uneasily up at him, now standing upon the cloud where she had slept only a moment before. He was quite accustomed to the odd looks by now.
"What?" she asked, utterly befuddled. "You really think I'm awesome?"
"Of course I do!" he exclaimed, giving her a gentle noogie on the top of her head; she didn't seem to mind it. "But for now, I must go, my feathery friend. Please stop by Sugarcube Corner later on. There'll be nice surprise waiting for you there. Toodles!"
As with the other, he snapped his fingers and was off again, leaving Rainbow with a slightly different set of questions than what her other friends had.
"Sugarcube Corner?" she mumbled to herself. "Wait a minute... it's April Fool's day! I've got some pranking to do before I—"
She stopped herself mid-speech, placing a thoughtful hoof under her chin.
"Hold on here... Does Discord know that it's April Fool's day? He acted really strange..."
FLASH!
There came a loud burst of chaotic magic from downstairs, the sound that Pinkie Pie had been waiting for all day. She bounded down the steps, running headlong into the kitchen, and plowed into the draconequus with a powerful hug. Fortunately, this had been the one hug he actually anticipated receiving, and was quite prepared for it.
"Yay! You're here!" she shouted. "Now, we can FINALLY make those muffins!"
"Yes, yes," he happily agreed. "Let's get right on those. But first, I have something to show you."
"Okay!" she chirped with a pleading nod.
They contently let each other go, each taking a spot by the counter top where Pinkie had all her various utensils and ingredients laid out. Discord smugly snapped his fingers, and into his hands appeared a quaint, old, and somewhat dusty book. He promptly placed it on the counter, letting her marvel in awe and wonder at its remarkably unremarkable cover. The title was written in very plain, golden letters.
"Oooh," her smile grew wider in satisfaction. "Disgust Discussed: A Self-Help Guide To Expecting the Unexpected?"
"Yeah!" he said, quite delighted. "So, do you think Twilight will like it?"
"Well, it's certainly ironic!" she enthusiastically assured him.
He nodded, flicked up the book into his grasp, and sent it off to its final destination with a quick burst of his chaotic magic.
"Just what I wanted to hear!" he said merrily.
Almost instantly, they began work on prepping the ingredients; preheating the oven, cracking some eggs, adding some milk... and Discord suddenly sighed to himself in the middle of all of it. He was still feeling quite odd about the whole incident, but satisfied nonetheless.
"Something wrong, silly?" she inquired, gazing up into his unusually calm, yellow eyes.
"Actually, no!" he happily cried. "You were quite right, Pinkie. April Fool's day is a lot funnier when I do what ponies don't expect of me!
You should've seen the looks on their faces!"
She offered him the widest smile he had ever seen.
"The master has taught you well!"
They both broke out into a fit of laughter and continued to bake together, long into the afternoon hours, making hundreds upon hundreds of scrumptious muffins for their friends.
Later on, Discord found out that Twilight did indeed find his book intriguing.
It was one of his all-time favorites.
fin.
