Rarity and Fluttershy versus the Tentacle Rape Monster that Uses Contraception

by NeverClever

Rating: mature
Tags: Porn, Sex, Fetish, Random, Anthro, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Fluttershy
Length: 1123

Yes, obviously it's going to rape them, but it's still pro-choice.

Rarity summons a tentacle monster and then Fluttershy asks it to not rape them. When that doesn't work, she compromises and settles for a condom.

Happy terrible joke day! (FIMfic really needs to add a "Stupid" category tag)

Published 2014-04-01 21:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-01 21:50:02 UTC

The chapter

The thick, ropy appendage crawled up Rarity’s leg, inching toward her groin.

“Rarity, do something!” Fluttershy squirmed violently, but her arms were firmly pinned to her sides. Her wings and legs were in a similar situation. Another tentacle slithered across her chest, and her gasp cut off her complaints.

“I’m trying!” Rarity grabbed at the book, but the creature had already lifted her several feet off the floor. Her fingers stretched and strained, but were still inches away. She tried yet again to trigger her magic, but it fizzled and faltered. The slime covering her horn shifted slightly, but remained resolute.

“Last time I borrow a book from Twilight,” she muttered.

“Rarity…” Fluttershy’s voice was barely a whisper.

“I know!” Rarity wiggled, and she could feel skirt slide slightly downward. The creature’s grip slid with the clothing, and Rarity leaned forward. Her body dropped down, and her fingers came a millimeter closer to the book, and the tentacles spilling out of it.

She gasped. Another of the green appendages had coiled around her wrist. The slime settling into her skin would have felt disgusting, if her legs and arms hadn’t already been covered in the same. “I can’t close it!”

“So what do we do?” Fluttershy’s voice cracked. “What do we do?”

“I don’t know!” Rarity’s stomach lurched as the creature flipped her over. “Ask it nicely to stop, or something!” The motion had thrown her skirt further down, and she could feel cold air brushing against her body.

Fluttershy swallowed loudly. “Uhm, mister tentacle monster, if you could not rape us and discard our used, broken bodies like old tissue paper, we would really appreciate it…”

A particularly large tentacle dragged itself across Fluttershy’s cheek, a thin trail of goo forming in its wake.

“We could compromise, you know, if you want.” The tentacle had continuing worming across Fluttershy’s body, slithering across her sweater and across her breasts. “Maybe, you could use protection, and then we won’t resist anymore, or something.”

“How diplomatic,” Rarity said.

The tentacles slinking across Fluttershy’s chest and Rarity’s legs had paused.

“Uhm, Rarity? I don’t suppose you have any,” Fluttershy blushed. “condoms?” The last word barely managed to squeak out.

“Top drawer, left dresser,” Rarity said reflexively. “But I don’t see how that—”

One of the bigger tentacles had already wrenched the drawer open, then sloppily fished the plastic package out. A few pieces of clothing stuck to the tentacle as it withdrew, though they quickly flopped off.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Well your plan didn’t work…”

“Just because this isn’t the first time I’ve been tentacled, doesn’t mean I’m willing to just sit here and let it happen!” Rarity protests were cut off by a thick, slimy tentacle forcing its way into her mouth.

A pair of the thick, meaty meat appendages drifted over to Fluttershy, and she could feel her arms loosen.

“Well, I suppose it’s better than nothing.” Fluttershy grabbed the package of condoms, the package crinkling loudly as she extricated one.

“Mmfph mfphm!” Rarity said.

Fluttershy rolled the condom onto the first tentacle, its veiny flesh straining at the latex, filling it and squirming at it. No sooner was it completely covered than it moved sideways, plunging unceremoniously into Rarity’s body.

“Mfphmg fmghm!” Rarity said. The tentacle slid further into her mouth, muffling any further protests.

Fluttershy fished another condom out of the package. Her fingers trembled as she rolled it on. She hadn’t don’t this since health class. The image of her unpleasant teacher did not help her concentration, and the memory of that time she had tried to put a condom on with her mouth did not help her confidence. “Oh don’t worry, it was really cute for a little bit,” the stallion had told her. “Until you started choking,” he had been too polite to add. Asphyxiation was not terribly adorable.

Finally, the contraceptive was in place, and the turgid appendage wormed its way down to Fluttershy’s groin.

She could hear the subtle squeak of latex as it forced its way into her body. The other tentacles loosened, sliding off her body and setting her on Rarity’s floor.

Every motion of the tentacle produced a small sound from the rubber. Every time it thrust into her and pulled back out there was a small noise. Whether from the tentacle rubbing against it or from it scraping her insides, Fluttershy couldn’t tell.

Fluttershy moaned. The sound leaked out of her without any prompting or consent. She tried to bite her lip, to restrain the next one, but a similar noise from Rarity wiped any away the vestiges of her self-control.

The tentacle pressed further into her, noisy as ever. The rhythm of it was so incredible, the feeling of it forcing itself into her over and over again.

And then it came, somehow. She could feel the condom swelling inside of her, the warmth pressing against her body.

The motion stopped, the tentacle slid out of her body, and she could feel the plump condom go with it. Squishing slightly, compressing and pushing against her insides as it moved. When it finally popped out the empty feeling was immediate, the weight and girth of the cum and the tentacle ponderous by their absence.

The tentacles retreated into the book, slurping and squeaking and sloshing noisily. Then in a flash of light they were gone.

“Is…is it normal for tentacles to…practice safe sex?” Fluttershy asked. Her heavy breathing chopped up her sentence.

“There was hardly anything safe about that,” Rarity said, her breathing slightly more even. “I think I may have a rugburn.”

“Well, at least we don’t have to worry about getting pregnant, right?”

“I am pro-choice,” Rarity said. She got shakily to her feet, glanced around for her skirt. “It is not my responsibility to care for some tentacle filly thrust upon me by an irresponsible monster.” She found her skirt and hastily slid it back on. “Honestly, you pro-life types can have such skewed priorities sometimes.”

Rarity grabbed the book. A dull green glow still oozed out of the page. “Sorry to be a bad host, dear, but I need to get this back to Twilight. She said she needed it back by three. Given the contents, I’m sorry to say I can guess why. Be right back, there is water in the kitchen.”

Author's Note

Originally this was going to be a joke chapter of Undiluted, but I didn't want anyone to feel cheated out of an update.

I considered making this T-rated and not having any sex at all (or skimming over it in a few words), but I needed to inflate the word count and got lazy.

Happy terrible joke day!