Why Am I A Technicolored Pony Tinkerbell?

by Too Manestream

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Breezies, Human, Seabreeze, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Comedy, Random, Adventure
Length: 3664

Okay, seriously I don't know how but I somehow woke up in Equestria as one of the annoying breezie things. This won't end well.

Anyone else notice the lack of Seabreeze stories?

What the [Censored] happened last night? I can't remember anything but somehow I ended up going from a 19-year old girl, to one of those annoying breezies. At least I'm a brony, or pegisister (whatever you want to call it), or I'd be as clueless as a character in one of those dumb HiE stories.... And I'm pretty sure this is one of those, isn't it? Well [Censored].

WARNING (MILD LANGUAGE): "[CENSORED]" IMPLIES SWEARS, WHICH MAY NOT BE ALOUD IN THE DESCRIPTION, BUT ARE SURE AS [CENSORED] IN THE STORY. SO IF YOU'RE GONNA BE ALL [CENSORED] ABOUT IT, DON'T READ THIS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Updated everyday or so, every other to say at the least.

Published 2014-04-01 20:20:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-09 18:40:52 UTC

No, Seriously.

Author's Note

Happy April-Fools day! But no, seriously this is a real story. And, don't bug me if I'm not 100 percent accurate, "It Ain't Easy (writing about) Being Breezies" Ya know.

No, Seriously.

"Seabreeze, wake up," A high pitched voice said. I didn't know who they were, or who Seabreeze was (it sounded vaguely familiar though), so I just ignored it, assuming it's just the TV on in the background that was waking me up, or something like that. Besides, I'm too tired and too lazy to get up. Just let me sleep. "Seabreeze, I said get up." This time, I felt something shake my arm.

"Ugh," I moaned and slightly opened my eyes. Everything was still blurry, but as far as I could see, an orange blob in front of me. Okay, what was going on? I rubbed my eyes with my hooves hoping it would help my vision clear up. Wait did I just say hooves? What the fuck was going on here, I don't remember having these things. I looked back up and realized I was looking at a breezie, ya know, the fairy-pony things from that episode "It Ain't Easy Being Breezies"? After a second of trying to wrap my head around what was going on I just decided to say something. "Am I dreaming?" I realized my voice had changed. It was high pitched, and sounded- erm, Swedish? Oh- yeah Seabreeze, now I remember, that one breezie that actually spoke english in the show. And I sound just like him/her. Wait.. I see where this is going.

The breezie that I was staring at just laughed, "Of course not dear, you just woke up." Did she just call me dear?

I just wanted to start screaming "Then how do you explain this shit (holds up hoof)" but, no, that would be kind of awkward.

Instead of that I tried to slap myself awake, this has to be a dream, I mean, why wouldn't it be? How wouldn't it be. But no, unfortunately all I got was a stinging feeling on my face and confused looks from the other pony. "So... Who are you again?" I asked. I wasn't afraid of her getting suspicious of who I really am like in those fanfictions. I mean, this is real life, isn't it? Besides I'm seriously too tired to try.

"What are you talking about? I'm your wife, Sun Sky! Did you drink to much wine or something last night?" She asked. Her expression went from confused, to straight up pissed off. "How could you possibly forget, I have never been so offended!"

God, this nagging bitch was getting boring. I had to say something if I wanted her to shut up. "Well, I'm sorry, I just..." I paused, attempting to think of an excuse that would sound reasonable. You think she'd buy it if I told her I hit my head and have amnesia? Or was that word insomnia? Forget it, I'll go with something else. "Uh, just kidding?" Damn it, I could think of something better than that, even she thought I could have done better than that, considering she walked out mumbling some profound insults in another language. Well I just woke up as a technicolored Tinkerbell regent, so, obviously I'm not able to do my best thinking. Okay?

How did I get here anyways? In fact, I can't even remember what happened last night. I mean it isn't like I drink or smoke. I got out of the bed and tried to -well actually I did it effortlessly- flutter around the tiny room. I'm quite frankly surprised, based on all of the human in Equestria stories I've read, the pony anatomy isn't something to get used to so fast. Well girls are smarter then guys are, and most of those stories have male protagonist, or maybe I'm just a natural at this. Right, because my god given talent is controlling the body of a pony. If I was put into the body of one of the cutie mark crusaders, I wouldn't be surprised if I got them a cutie mark for that.

I looked into a mirror. I was a blue breezie with a cotton candy mane and tail. My eyes where pink and I had long eyelashes. That made me think, is Seabreeze- or I should say "am I", a boy, or girl? I mean, is it that all breezies have long eyelashes and I'm not a girl, or what? Maybe I could check the unmentionable area, you know what, nevermind, that sounds too perverted. If I was that desperate to see pony porn, I would've gone on tumblr. God dammit, why do I keep getting off topic? Let's just say I'm ether a guy, which would be awkward, or just a lesbian, considering I have a wife.

Maybe someone spiked something I drunk with acid, and now I'm high, or some shit like that. That could be, but I heard if you concentrate really hard you can reduce the hallucinations. I closed my eyes and focused on hands, like just, plain old, hands. After a moment I cracked one of my eyes open, afraid to look, and lifted my foreleg, or arm, or whatever, and... FUCK IT'S STILL A HOOF! I give up. It isn't acid.

Looks like I'm trapped like this until I figure out how to get the hell out of here. I have no idea what I'm going to do, but I'm pretty sure I need to find the mane 6 or something. Is that what they do in those stories? I don't know I never actually finished any of them. Oh great now I'm rambling to myself.

I put a hoof over my face. (Heheh, facehoof.) God it's too early for trying to escape an imaginary universe I think I'm an expert on, but really have no idea what it's like in reality. Yeap, it's one of those days again.

The More You Know.

Last time, our currently unnamed hero found herself in the body of a breezie, known as Seabreeze, from My Little Pony. Being the lazy ass piece of shit she is, she decided to go back to sleep and deal with it later. Later, being now. Will we ever find out her name? How will she react when she realizes she is a father? Will she manage to find a way home? Probably not, well at least not in this chapter!

Wow, for a disembodied voice, this narrator guy is rude. Why couldn't I had gotten one like in the story "Maud Pie Falls In Love With The Narrator"? This could've been a romantic story of love and loss, and- okay you got me, I only read a few paragraphs before I got bored of it.

There isn't anything worse then the sound of a baby crying. I stand corrected, there is something much worse- waking up to the sound of it. "Damn it." I grumbled, stretching my wings before getting out of bed. Oh, yeah wings, I'm still a fairy pony thing. I was hoping I would wake up and everything would just be fine and dandy again. (Space-dandy again that is.) But NOPE. LIFE STILL HATES ME!

I decide to leave the room I was in, and actually see what the rest of this house was like. Surprisingly, it was quite nice. Now where was I? Oh yeah, that annoying as crying. I looked around and saw whats-her-face-bitch holding a crying foul breezie. "Daw' hello cutie." I said to the baby, almost forgetting about all of the stuff that's happened today. The infant stopped crying and looked at me with it's big, cute eyes. My heart exploded twice. Wait, can you do that? Can you explode twice? Yes, and my heart just happened to, if that answers your questions. The more you know.

"Ah, I'm glad you're feeling better now. Now I need you to watch the baby while I run some errands." Sun Sky said. Wait, the baby? She is my wife so.. WHAT? Now I'm stuck taking care of this kid? How am I ever going to get back home?

"Ugh, okay." I sighed, taking the baby out of her forelegs. I looked at the creature, that was now sound asleep. It must like me or something, but I'd be crying too if that bitch was holding me. God dammit, you're lucky you're so fucking cute.

"Thank you dear," She said sarcastically rolling her eyes. She fluttered to the door. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I replied, even though I could care less.

She lifted an eyebrow. "I was talking to the baby." She smirked, before closing the door. THAT BITCH, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT THE HELL SHE THINKS, BUT WHAT A BITCHY THING TO SAY. Well, to be fair I am an absolutely terrible husband, or gave been since I got here. I guess I deserved that.

After she left, I looked back down at the baby. "Hello, my name is Hailey. I'm not actually a pony, I'm just trapped in the body of one. I'm actually a human, from another world." I attempted to make banter with the child. I knew it couldn't understand a word I was saying, and thank god it didn't, or it would think I was some insane mental patient. Oh that reminds me, I have to find the mane 6, like they do in the fanfictions, so they could help me. But, how could I get there if I have to take care of this thing? Maybe she wouldn't mind if I dook it with me. Hmm, looks like it's daddy-daughter(-and-or-son) bonding time!

Author's Note

Short chapters are short. I'll make up for this next time. Also, her name is Hailey. THE MORE YOU KNOW!

Also story mentioned is "Maud Pie Falls In Love With The Narrator" by Flint Sparks.

Going where the wind takes us.

Author's Note

Looks like I have to add adventure to the catogories. Can't believe I forgot that. Ugh, sad chapter! V_V I don't know how to make this funny.

Song lyrics used from:

Going where the wind takes us.

In the last chapter, our 'hero', or Hailey, as she calls herself, met an adorable breezie, but unfortunately, she is forced to watch over it for the day. But how will she be able to get back with this problem on her hands, erk- hooves? I guess she'll have to take it with her on her quest! How will they get to Ponyville? Will the Elements of Harmony even be able to help? Will I ever get paid for narrating? I hope so because this is extremely boring! All this and more answered in this chapter! But probably not, that's just in the script. Who the fuck wrote this crap anyways?

Just read it!

Fine, fine! But seriously isn't that alot for 1 chapter? I mean, we aren't really going to have that in this chapter right? Anyways this is taking way too long, so onto the story!

I woke up- wait didn't this happen already? Oh, okay here we are- I down looked at the infant breezie I was cradling in my forelegs. What a cutie, sound asleep. "Looks like you're coming with me for a trip," I paused and looked around the house. "Say, ya know, I don't even recall where we are in the first place. Where was it the breezies lived?" I poked my head out of a round window, and my eyes quickly widened. Did I wake up in Equestria, or Oz? It was beautiful, there where waterfalls rushing in the background, giant mushroom, made into houses (that's probably what I'm in now, actually), shimmering stone walks- it was just maginificant. I think I'm gonna cry- but no time for that now.

I opened the door, a bit startled when I saw no path, but then again, breezies seem to float and flutter everywhere they go. I saw a gathering of breezies in the center of town, I'm guessing would be the plaza. 'Hm, some kind of gathering or some shit like that? Well maybe that would be a good place to start. I bet I could figure out where to go if I go over there.' I floated down to them, and casually inserted myself into the crowd, between a breezie with a mushroom hat, and one with long, and must In add luxurious, purple hair.

"So, what's up here?" I asked, attempting to act casual. As long as it isn't a funeral I shouldn't draw too much attention.

The other breezies started speaking some other language I couldn't understand. It just sounded like "Hinger dinger danger." If you ask me, but what do I know,

"Uh, does anyone speak english?" I got some stares, wait do they call it english here? "Oh sorry I mean, poninish..?"

One of the breezies came out f the crowd and looked at me. "I do. What do you need? My name is Swirly, I've seen you around but hadn't gotten a chance to say hello," She, I assume because their wearing a dress, looked down. "Why are you holding a baby? It could get dangerous delivering pollen, so you should leave him here." (Oh it's a he.)

"Hey don't tell me how to fucking raise my kid!" Anyways, are we going to be passing by Ponyville, by any chance, on this... Er, pollen route?" I asked. "I... Want to, uh, visit a friend."

Swirly sighed. "I don't think so but we'll have to see. We're going where the wind takes us, literally." After she said that the breezies all started piling out of a portal in the rocks. I figured there wasn't any other option, so I joined them. The portal lead to a cave, a small one, it was actually more like a tube in the side of a mountain, but it was okay. When reached the outside, I was happy to see the bright skies and grass. There where some butterflies and ladybugs, which reminded me how small breezies where. Guess it was time to go. The other breezies said it could take a few days, but I'm okay with that.

Oh boy, when Swirly said literally, she meant literally. It isn't like we where trapped, (we could get out any time we wanted to just by flying out,) but we kind of all just left our wings open and followed the breeze. The baby stayed asleep for a long time. It woke up once in a while when it was hungry, but after I gave it some milk, (NO, not tit milk, we got packs of supplies,) it fell back asleep.

It's been about 4 hours now, and we where getting close. Swirly told me that if we where going to pass through Ponyville it would be soon. She was right, but that doesn't mean we went through it. The fucking wind wen't right around it, seriously, when the town came came into vision, we ended up turning, and going around the right of it. Well, I didn't come all the way here for nothing. Nope, I slowed down, and waited for the others to get ahead of me. Swirly of coarse wouldn't leave me as easily. She looked at me, when she noticed I was behind the others, and fluttered over.

"What are you doing Seabreeze? You aren't going to sneak off to Ponyville, are you? You're fucking insane!" She shouted at me. I was a bit surprised she said 'fucking', I didn't think ponies here could curse honestly. But, what did I expect, this ain't no dumbass gen-3.

"Yes, you don't understand-"

"Oh I think I do! You are willing to put yourself and that foal in danger, just to see an old friend? Whats wrong with you!?"

"No," I started. I didn't know her for a while now, but I think she desearves to know the truth. "I'm actually going to Ponyville for help. I'm not who you think I am, I'm from another universe, my name is Hailey, and I woke up in the body of Seabreeze. I don't know how it's possible, but I need to get home. And you're right, I'll go by myself. It's okay if I get hurt, but this baby, this sweet innocent baby, disearves no harm. I want you to take him back for me. I don't care if you believe me or not, but I'm going to get back home," I held out the foal to her in my forelegs. She lifted her's and took him from me. I couldn't help but shed a tear. "Fuck you, you little cutie, now you've got me crying." I said to him before I left.

Swirly smiled a little bit. A tear drop, swiveled down her cheek. "Good luck." She said, waving me off. I waved back to her, and flied towards the town.

-Play us out, Greenday!

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

*Internally Fangirl Screaming*

Author's Note

Uncut title: "OHMERGERD FANGASM!"

God, sorry for the wait, I didn't think anyone cared about this anymore, so..

*Internally Fangirl Screaming*

Last time Hailey, are protagonist set out with the breezies on there annual pollen-run, and met Swirly, another breezie. Hailey found a way to get to Ponyville, and keft the baby with Swirly to return to it's mother. Now we join Hailey, as she seeks the Mane-6 for help on her not-si-epic quest to get back home. I don't know why she would want to. What brony wouldn't want to live in Equestria? Well, anyways, our journey continues!

So, where the hell would I be if I where one of the mane-6? Well they are usually in the same convenient place. Well my best bet would be to find Fluttershy first, she seems to have the closest bond to Seabreeze in the show. So that, I shall so! I decided to check her cottage first, if only I knew where it was. It isn't like I have a fucking map of the town or something. Just then, no surprise here, a map of Ponyville flew in the wind towards and slammed right into my face. Thanks universe!

I unraveled the map, seeing it was ment for tourist, pointing out public locations like The Golden Oak Library (more commonly known as Twilight's house), Berry Punch's Pub, Colgate's Dentistry (what tourist need's to go to the dentist?), The Carousel Boutique, and other places seen within the show. However the home's weren't labeled, there were houses on the map, and one right outside of Ponyville stood out. Yep, Fluttershy's cottage, it had to be it. Where is a Staple's easy button that says that was easy when you need it?

What only felt like minutes of floating later, I saw the amazing cottage in the distance. Only a bridge away from me was the most beautiful home I'd ever seen, it was more glorious than in the show. Koi ponds, and floral surrounded the exterior, and butterflies and small animals (or in this case the size of me) filled the atmosphere.

I floated across the bridge and slowly neared the nature filled cottage, taking in the sight. As I flurried closer, a fucking bear jumped out ofnowhere and growled. His breath stunk of dog shit, but what do I know, I don't go around smelling piles of crap in the yard. I closed my eyes and flinched as the animal was about to attack me.

Look's like this is the end. Go home, there's no more.

I mean it, get the hell out of here.

Ookay you got me.

Just as it seemed like it was the end I heard a familiar voice. "No bad boy! That's our friend, not food." I opened an eye, and saw the bear, on the ground, sobbing guiltfully. I don't believe it. It was. Had to be.

I turned around and saw a butter colored pegisus with a pink mane. Yes it was her! OHMYGERD FANGASM! She's my favorite pony next to Vinyl Scratch, Rarity, Braeburn, and Scootaloo in my top 5. She's my number 1 though! Yes!

"Hi Seabreeze, what are you doing here?" She said.

I got nervous. "Well, I'm not Seabreeze, it's a long story..."

"So you're from another universe and you woke up in the body of my friend Seabreeze? And you need me and my friends help getting back go your real home? And you're actual name is Hailey?"

I nodded. "Yes, yes, and yes."

"One question-" Fluttershy paused, "-how do you know who we are?"

"Uh- that's complicated. In my world you're all portrayed as fictional characters in a television series. And I honestly love that program. You're all the main characters, or as fans call them, the Mane-6. This must be hard for you," I put a hoof on my forehead, god I'm an idiot for thinking I can just explain this kind of thing. How would I feel if someone told me I was just fake? "But, you're the main character- so that's kind of an honor. I'm sorry Fluttershy, it's just a damn habit, I just don't realize how people, or ponies will take things before I say them out loud. But now I know you aren't just made up, you are all real. And, will- will you help me?"

She stood still for a moment, frozen in shock I suppose. But she finally nodded. "Of course, Hailey. I'm not sure how my friends will take that kind of news, so can we keep this secret between you and me? At least the stuff about us all being fake?"

I smiled and held out my hoof, she shook it, or at least tried to without crushing my tiny breezie body.