Ditzy Falls

Chapters

Getting To Know You
Crashing In
Tick Tock
Friendly Counsel

Getting To Know You

The train rattled a little as it sped down the tracks, homeward bound. Some ponies were excitedly talking about the past day’s results, others were tired and wishing the former would shut their traps. But not her; she didn’t mind. She was blissfully looking out the window, watching the world go by in fast, fluid motion, the colors running into each other as they sped past.

She was so absorbed, in fact, that she didn’t notice a fellow pegasus had taken the seat next to her until her new companion’s soft, tender voice let out a little “ahem” in greeting. “Um… hello?”

The grey pegasus turned around, ears perked in surprise, to see a butter yellow mare sitting next to her, half hiding behind a pink mane. “Oh, hi there, Fluttershy!” she greeted back with a grin.

“H-hi,” Fluttershy stammered back with a small smile. “Sorry if I interrupted your train of thought…”

She let out a little snerk. “Pfah, no, it’s okay. I wasn’t thinking about much; just enjoying the scenery!”

“It is really nice,” Fluttershy nodded. She pushed her front hooves together and took a little breath. “I just wanted to, um, apologize. For Rainbow Dash taking your place and all. I know you were really happy to compete…”

A few seconds passed before she realized Fluttershy was done talking. “I would’ve been happy to! But, to be honest, it was really more of a favor to Bulk. He’s a big sheep dog on the inside and he’s been a good friend to me, so I owe him a few.”

“He is, isn’t he?” Fluttershy giggled a little. She paused a few seconds more before admitting, “I’m really sorry, but we’ve never really been introduced before. I’ve seen you around town plenty, but I’ve never really, um… what I mean to say is, I’m Fluttershy.” She extended a hoof. “You’re Derpy, right?”

She flinched, but put on a big smile anyway and shook the other mare’s hoof. “Um, yeah, that’s me! Derpy. The one and only!”

Fluttershy’s ears lowered and head tilted, a frown on her face. “Is everything okay…? I saw you cringe.”

She mentally facehoofed before taking a deep breath to brace herself. “Um… I’d really prefer if you didn’t… well, call me Derpy. My name’s Ditzy. Ditzy Doo. Not Derpy.”

Fluttershy smiled and nodded. “Okay, Ditzy.”

Ditzy blinked in surprise, looking the smaller mare up and down as if her coat were made of gold. “R… really?”

“Really what?” she repeated in confusion.

“No argument? No ‘it’s such a cute name’? No ‘it fits you’? No ‘everypony calls you that’? No backhoofed comment about my eyes?” she listed, brow furrowed in disbelief. “No… anything?”

“If you don’t want to be called that, you don’t want to be called that,” Fluttershy said as if it were the most apparent truth of the universe. “Why would I call you a name you don’t like?”

“To make fun of me?” Ditzy asked more than stated.

Fluttershy gasped in horror, front hooves over her mouth. “Why would I ever do that? Is… is that normal for you?”

Ditzy squirmed a little in her seat and turned her head away. “You could say that. I mean, it’s not an everyday thing, but… yeah. Lots of ponies think I’m stupid because of my eyes. No, more than stupid, ‘mentally impaired,’” she spat, glaring into space. “And those are the nicest words they say to me! Sometimes they don’t even call me anything, they just… talk as if I’m not there and can’t understand them.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Sorry, this is getting really personal.”

Ditzy found herself in a tight hug a moment later, Fluttershy holding her tight. She held on long enough for Ditzy’s face to get nice and red from the other mare’s warmth before she pulled away and said, “I’m so sorry you have to put up with that, Ditzy. Do you want to talk about something else?”

“I th-think I’d like that,” Ditzy said with a shy smile.

“Well, um…” Fluttershy put a hoof to her chin and smiled sheepishly. “Oh dear, I’m not very good at making conversation.”

“That’s fine,” Ditzy reassured with a relaxed grin. “How about we start with the basics: what’s your cutie mark mean?”

“Oh, mine?” Fluttershy asked, looking down at the butterflies on her flank. “Well, my special talent is that I’m really good with animals. I fell out of Cloudsdale when I was a filly, you see, and a bunch of butterflies caught me before I…” She gulped. “I try not to think of the alternative.”

“Wow, lucky catch!” Ditzy marveled. “Right place, right time.”

Fluttershy nodded, flapping her wings a little. “I even got my cutie mark out of it! My parents were both proud and, well, panicked with worry. Not every day a filly survives a fall like that.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice; almost fell out of the sky more than my fair share when I was learning to fly,” Ditzy admitted with a shyer smile. “I’m… not exactly very good at it.”

“Then what’s your special talent?” Fluttershy asked, eying Ditzy’s flank.

“I’m great at cleaning and keeping a house in order,” she said proudly with a flick of her tail. “I keep things spick-and-span at my place. Only wish I could take advantage of it.”

“Why can’t you?” Fluttershy asked with a tilt of her head.

“Because nopony in Ponyville can afford a maid, and nopony in Canterlot is willing to hire me because, of, well…” She motioned to her eyes. “I work as a mailmare to make ends meet.”

“Oh… oh, I’m so sorry to hear,” the other mare fretted.

“It’s fine; I get by,” Ditzy shrugged with a good-natured smile. “Besides, my talent really helps around the house. I don’t know how I’d keep up with my daughters without it!”

“Oh, you’re married?” Fluttershy asked.

Ditzy’s face fell. “Um… no.”

“Er… divorced, then?” Fluttershy asked more timidly.

“No. Actually never been married,” Ditzy admitted, rubbing the back of her neck and looking away in shame. “One’s adopted, but the other is, well, mine.”

“Oh…” Ditzy could hear Fluttershy clear her throat and see her cheeks redden in the reflection of the window. “I’ve never, well… you know… but I’d never judge a pony for having s… se… ahem.”

Ditzy smiled a little. “Thanks. I mean it. Although…” She turned back to Fluttershy with a questioning glance. “You’ve really never…?” she trailed off, bumping her front hooves together to illustrate.

Fluttershy squeaked and shook her head. “Oh, never! Er, well, maybe someday. I’ve just…” She took a deep breath and composed herself. “I’ve just never even really been on a date before, is all. And if I can’t get a date, well… that is a bit far off.”

“I would think the stallions would be bending over backwards for a mare like you,” she chuckled.

Fluttershy giggled and smiled nervously. “I doubt they would, but… I’m not exactly interested in stallions, per se, anyway.”

Ditzy blinked and blushed. “…come again?”

There was a loud, ear-splitting screech that made the two hold their heads and shiver. The train was coming to a stop. When it finally did, there was an announcement, but Ditzy was only half listening.

“Um, well, it was really nice talking to you Ditzy, gotta go, bye!” Fluttershy said hastily, scrambling out of the train with a face as red as a cherry.

Ditzy shook her head and climbed off her seat. She giggled as she trotted out of the train and thought little of what just happened. That was until she noticed that the other mare was galloping away from the platform entirely.

“Hey Fluttershy!” she called after her. “You forgot your…” She sighed as Fluttershy turned out of sight. “Luggage.”

Ditzy looked over to the bags being unpacked from the luggage compartment, and a smile formed on her face as the gears in her head started turning. She’d have to deliver them later anyway, and besides… that mare was awfully cute.

Crashing In

Ditzy had crashed before. Ditzy had crashed many times. It came with the territory of being an infamously clumsy flier. Her eye condition certainly didn’t help. So when she found herself waking up without a memory of going to sleep, her back on the grass and pain in her everything, she knew right away that she had hit something, hard. Before she could wonder what she hit, or where she’d been flying in the first place, or even open her eyes, she noticed the pressure of bandages on her face, her legs, her back…

“Oh thank goodness you’re okay!” a worried voice said, snapping her out of her thoughts.

Ditzy finally got around to opening her eyes. A butter yellow face with big cyan eyes was there to greet her gaze.

“Fluttershy?” she groaned, rubbing her aching head and wincing. She started to sit upright when a pair of hooves gently pushed her back down.

“Don’t strain yourself; you took a pretty bad fall,” Fluttershy fretted.

“I can tell,” Ditzy grumbled. She tilted her head up and looked around. Fluttershy was leaning over her, a first aid kit open by her side. Ditzy was indeed covered in bandages. Judging by the stinging, each one covered a pretty nasty cut. She sat up nonetheless, shrugging Fluttershy off with a little flinch. “It’s fine; I’ve had worse.”

“If you’re sure,” Fluttershy said softly. She fiddled with her front hooves, looking Ditzy up and down. “How’re you feeling? Do you have any memory loss?”

“Gimme a second to remember,” Ditzy half joked. She ran a hoof through her mane as the past few minutes came back to her. “No, no, I remember just fine. I was almost here until I ran into an updraft that knocked me off course. Ran into a tree.”

“Well… I guessed that,” Fluttershy said, looking to the side. Ditzy followed her gaze to see the tree that she’d run into. The trunk was frayed and splintered along the gash where it’d almost broken in half, the branches dipped into the stream that ran by Fluttershy’s house.

“Um… oops,” Ditzy smiled sheepishly.

“Thank Celestia none of my animal friends live in that tree,” Fluttershy sighed in relief with a smile. “And thank Celestia that you’re okay!”

“Funny definition of okay,” Ditzy said, trying to stretch and only getting a jolt of pain in return. “I think I’m going to be grounded for a few days.” She groaned and buried her head in her hooves. “I was just trying to be nice and return your luggage…” She paused and her head snapped up. “Your luggage!”

Ditzy looked around frantically before she spotted Fluttershy’s bags. They were further down the hill, half submerged in the stream. “Oh no…!” Ditzy groaned. “I am so, so sorry Fluttershy!”

“It’s okay; it wasn’t your fault,” Fluttershy said as she trotted over and pulled her suitcase out of the water. “They’re just things. Things can be replaced; ponies can’t. As long as you’re okay, it isn’t a big loss.” She pulled out her other bags and looked up to Ditzy with a truly radiant smile, cyan eyes and alabaster teeth shining in the sunlight.

A little heat graced Ditzy’s face as she gave a shy smile in return. “Thanks, Fluttershy…”

“No, thank you for being so kind. You really didn’t have to return them,” Fluttershy said, her own cheeks a little pink as she returned to Ditzy’s side. “I really shouldn’t have run off like that, anyway. I’m just… really timid, to be honest.”

Ditzy giggled through a forming smirk. “I hadn’t noticed.”

Fluttershy blinked before giggling herself. “Okay, I suppose you already guessed that. Still, sorry about running off. I normally don’t tell anypony but really close friends about my… interests… and I guess I panicked just a teensy little bit.”

“You’re far from the only one in Ponyville, you know,” Ditzy chuckled. “That’s into the same sex, that is. There are a lot more gay couples around here than in most towns this size!”

“I know, I know, it’s just… I try not to make it anypony else’s business, I suppose,” Fluttershy admitted, hiding a bit behind her mane.

Ditzy’s ears lowered, but in the end she nodded. “I can respect that.”

Fluttershy’s ears perked up, and she looked Ditzy in the eye again. “Really? My friends keep telling me I should be, erm, ‘out and proud’…”

Ditzy waved her hoof as if to brush the other mare’s concerns away. “It’s not for everypony, trust me. Your personal life is your business and nopony else’s. I’m bi myself, and I’m not about to tell you how to be queer.”

Fluttershy’s eyes widened a bit. “Oh, I didn’t know you were… not that I have a problem with that! I just thought that since you had a foal, that you were…” She cleared her throat. “Erm, bad assumption. Sorry.”

Ditzy couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. “It’s fine! At least you’re sorry about it. Can’t tell you how many ponies insist that I can’t be bi because I obviously once slept with a stallion and haven’t with a mare.”

Fluttershy tilted her head. “That… doesn’t make sense, though.”

“Try explaining that to them,” Ditzy snorted. “Dumb opinions like that make it pretty hard to get a good date. Not many ponies are willing to date a single mother, anyway.” She scowled, ears lowering. “Besides the ones that think I’m… well…”

“Yes?” Fluttershy prompted, looking a bit worried about what she’d say. It was a bit cute, if Ditzy were to be honest.

“Easy,” she finally said with a little groan.

“Oh! …oh.” Fluttershy’s cheeks went straight past pink to red.

“Yeah,” Ditzy grumbled. “It’s a reputation that’s hard to shake.”

“Well, erm… even if you were, I wouldn’t think any less of you,” Fluttershy said with a smile. “It doesn’t really matter either way, does it?”

Ditzy found herself grinning ear to ear. “You know, not a lot of ponies have ever said that to me.”

“It’s true,” Fluttershy said timidly, twiddling her front hooves.

“And the ones that do,” Ditzy continued, “I usually consider friends. Would that be a step too far, or…?” She looked at Fluttershy expectantly.

“Oh, not at all! You already did a lot for me, returning my bags and all, and you seem like a really nice mare, so… yes, I’d say you’re a friend,” Fluttershy said with a smile and the cutest little dimples Ditzy had ever seen.

“Do you… want to hang out sometime?” Ditzy asked hopefully. “I normally eat lunch with Blossomforth, Cloud Kicker, Bulk when he can get away from his kid, and Time Turner when he can show up.”

Fluttershy froze up and shook her head. “No, um… I’m really not good with crowds, especially with ponies I don’t know. Do you think it could be just us?”

Ditzy raised an eyebrow. “Sure, I guess. Where do you usually hang out?”

Fluttershy blinked a few times before scratching her head. “Um… no place in particular, really. I usually go to the spa with Rarity… do you want to go there?”

Ditzy cast an eye up at her own messy bangs. “Do I really look like the spa sort of mare?”

Fluttershy giggled behind her hoof. “I guess not. How about… Sugarcube Corner? My friend Pinkie lives and works there.”

“Okay, sounds good to me!” she nodded with a big grin. “As I said, I’ll be grounded for a day or two, so…”

“Oh, right! Are you sure you’ll be okay? You won’t get in trouble at work, will you?” Fluttershy fretted.

“I’ll be fine; I have good health insurance,” Ditzy brushed off.

“Can I at least walk you home? Give you somepony to lean on?” she offered with a worried frown.

Ditzy looked Fluttershy up and down, taking in every nuance and curve. Especially the curves. “No, I’m good. Besides, if Cloud Kicker saw me walking through town with a cute mare like you hanging off of my wing, she’d never stop teasing me.”

Fluttershy was suddenly as red as when she ran off the train. Instead of running away, she just hid behind her mane. “O-oh, um, thanks, but… I’m not really that, er… cute…”

Ditzy gently brushed Fluttershy’s mane away and gave her a bright smile. “You totally are; no use in denying it.”

Fluttershy shrank away, and Ditzy jolted her hoof back. “I-I’ll see you tomorrow. Does three sound good? Three sounds great. Bye!” Fluttershy took off, her front door slamming behind her before Ditzy could get another word out.

“Great going, Ditzy,” she grumbled to herself. “Way to respect her space.” She got on all fours and looked at Fluttershy’s bags lying dejectedly on the lawn. She let out a little sigh, stretching and wincing, before dragging the timid mare’s luggage up to her doorstep. She eyed the doorbell. She eyed the doorbell for a good while. Then with a shake of her head and another sigh, she turned tail and set off for home.

Tick Tock

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock…

Fluttershy glanced up at the clock. Twenty-four minutes; Ditzy was twenty-four minutes late and still counting. She sighed and leaned forward in her seat, cheek meeting hoof as she leaned her head on it.

“Want another cupcake?” Pinkie asked, appearing beside her table as if from the aether.

Fluttershy looked down at the wrappers of all the cupcakes that had already met their delicious end by her hoof. “No thank you,” she said, looking up at the party pony. “I’m full, anyway.”

“There’s always room for more sugar, silly!” Pinkie chirped. “It’s all on me!”

Before Fluttershy could protest, another cupcake was already in front of her. Red velvet with chocolate frosting; way too tempting. She twiddled her hooves before saying, “Well… I guess one more wouldn’t hurt.” She unwrapped it and took a bite; her already bloating stomach disagreed, but the taste was too good to resist.

“Where’s your date, anyway?” Pinkie asked.

Fluttershy gagged mid-swallow. Thankfully choking down cake was easy. “She is not my date, Pinkie,” Fluttershy said after she cleared her throat. “She’s just a new friend.”

“It’s just a figure of speech, Flutters,” Pinkie said with a wave of her hoof.

“Um… no, I’m pretty sure it isn’t,” Fluttershy said with a raised brow. “There’s only one way to take what you just said.”

“It isn’t? Oh well!” Pinkie shrugged, smile never wavering. “But it’s great that you’re making a new friend!”

“I suppose,” Fluttershy mumbled, contemplating her cupcake instead of eating it.

“Ohhh no, that’s the look of a troubled pony,” Pinkie said warily, pulling up a chair out of thin air and sitting down. “What’s eating at ya?”

“Nothing,” Fluttershy said softly with a nibble of her snack.

Pinkie frowned and raised an eyebrow. “Flutters, you’re lying so bad that you’d set my pants on fire if I were wearing any.”

Fluttershy looked around with nervous glances before letting out a sigh. “Okay, fine. I’m… I don’t know. I’m not sure how to feel about Ditzy.”

“How come?” Pinkie asked through a mouthful of cupcake that was suddenly in her hoof.

Fluttershy’s brow furrowed in thought, a frown on her muzzle. “I… I don’t know how to explain it. I guess I’d say that I feel… too comfortable around her? I’ve barely known her for a day, but I’ve already talked to her about how I, well… like mares,” she explained.

“I don’t get how that’s a bad thing,” Pinkie said with an amused smile.

“It’s supposed to be a big secret, Pinkie,” Fluttershy fretted. “I haven’t told anypony but you and the girls!”

“I don’t get why though. I’ve been pan and proud for years!” Pinkie said before shoving the rest of her cupcake in her mouth.

“It’s just not that easy for me,” Fluttershy sighed. “But I was just fine talking about it with Ditzy. I think it’s her smile. It’s just so… disarming. It’s a little scary.”

“I think somepony has a crush~” Pinkie almost sang.

“I do not,” Fluttershy pouted. “Well, I do, just not on Ditzy.”

“Still planning on asking out Little Miss Rainboom?” Pinkie teased with a flutter of her eyelashes.

“I’ll get around to it! Eventually. Someday,” she mumbled, wiggling in her seat.

Pinkie giggled and patted Fluttershy’s shoulder. “Might wanna hop to it; if you wait too long, some hottie with a tight Wonderbolts uniform is gonna sweep her off her hooves and into the sunset!”

“Pinkie, don’t even joke about that,” Fluttershy grumbled.

“Fine, fine,” Pinkie said with a little roll of her eyes. “I just find it all a bit silly. If you want to ask a pony out, ask them out. Every day you don’t is one less day of love you could be getting.”

“A lot of ponies aren’t as open as you are, Pinkie. And I’m still nervous about what she might think.” Fluttershy sighed and shook her head. “Can we change the subject?”

“Okay then, let’s talk more about your crush on Ditzy!” Pinkie said with a smile.

“It is not a crush,” Fluttershy said as firmly as she could. Which is to say about as firmly as sponge cake. “Though I think she might have a crush on me…”

“Ohhhh?” Pinkie said with a grin and cocked eyebrow.

“I don’t really know,” she admitted, “but I think she does. Called me cute and brushed my mane out of my face… it made me feel more than a bit uncomfortable.”

“And because of your crush on Rainbow, you want her to back off,” Pinkie said with a knowing nod.

“Yes,” Fluttershy sighed. “I just think it’d be really rude to say anything out of the blue, though. I mean, what if she doesn’t have a crush on me? I’d just look paranoid.”

“Then just wait and see if she does something like that again. If she does, tell her that that’s no good and that you want her to stop. If she doesn’t, no problem!” Pinkie said.

“Sounds simple enough.” Fluttershy smiled and nuzzled her friend. “Thanks for listening, Pinkie.”

“No problem!” Pinkie said with a little bounce and a grin.

As if on cue, the front door burst open and in cantered a tired looking Ditzy Doo. She still looked pretty beat up from yesterday’s fall, but had fresh bandages on the worst of her injuries. “I am so sorry I’m late! There was a bit of a situation at home that I had to take care of,” she explained with a weary sigh.

“And that’s my cue to leave. Have fun!” Pinkie dove under the table and vanished.

Ditzy blinked and lifted up the tablecloth. “Where did she-”

“It’s Pinkie; you learn not to question it,” Fluttershy assured. “Is everything okay? Nopony’s hurt, are they?”

“Well… not exactly,” Ditzy said, taking the other seat. “Sparkler, my oldest, came home from school crying.”

“Oh no, what happened?” Fluttershy said.

“Her first break-up. I won’t name any names, but the colt she was dating was… how can I put this nicely… a typical teenage colt,” she said with a small scowl. “After I calmed her down, we had a long talk about relationships and when to recognize red flags.”

“He didn’t hurt her, did he?” Fluttershy gasped.

“No, thankfully. He just dropped her because he found some mare he thought was prettier, and told her that to her face. If I were her age, I would’ve given him a broken nose.” Ditzy paused and added, “Okay, I would’ve cried, then given him a broken nose the next day.”

“You didn’t tell your daughter to do that, did you?” Fluttershy asked with a furrowed brow.

Ditzy’s ears perked up in alarm. “Of course not! I have to be a responsible parent now. Violence isn’t suppose to be an option.” She paused a little and smirked that smile of hers. “Though between you and me, there was this one time my youngest, Dinky, got into a fight. Said that she was being made fun of for having an… ‘R-word-ed’ mom, and kicked the other filly right in the face. I may have kind of taken her out for some ice cream after the parent-teacher conference.”

Fluttershy’s ears flattened. “The other kids make fun of them because of…?” She trailed off, unable to say it.

“Because of my eyes,” Ditzy finished for her with a nod and a sigh. “Not so much anymore, though. The other kids learned not to make fun of mom after Dinky knocked that filly’s teeth out – don’t worry, they used a potion to grow them back – but I don’t know about Sparkler. She’s at that age where she doesn’t really talk about her life with dear old mom anymore, so she could still be bullied over it or not at all. I can’t really force her to tell me anything.”

Fluttershy looked down and twiddled her hooves. “I remember being that age. I was very quiet, spent most of my time in my room, got bullied at school because I was an easy target… well, when Rainbow Dash wasn’t around, anyway.”

“Rainbow Dash? She protected you from bullies?” Ditzy asked, incredulous.

Fluttershy blinked in surprise. “Um, yes? Is that a problem?”

“I just never thought she would be the type, is all,” she said with a deep, unhappy frown. “She’s one of those ponies who still calls me Derpy and gets really offended when I tell her to stop.”

“That doesn’t sound like the Rainbow I know,” Fluttershy said softly.

“Well, it’s the Rainbow I know,” Ditzy grumbled with an angry twitch of her ears.

Fluttershy cast her eyes down and gently shook her head. “The Rainbow I know is the one that helped me get over my fears of being made fun of. If you couldn’t tell by how I did at Rainbow Falls, I’m not that good of a flier, either,” she said, spreading her wings a little. “I used to be petrified of flying in public because I thought that everypony would laugh at me, since my wings are so weak. And when Rainbow was counting on me to help with that big tornado last year, she tried to encourage me…” She giggled, a smile on her muzzle. “She wasn’t very good at it; she’s never been good at that sort of thing. But she tried, because she didn’t want me to feel so bad, wanted me to be more confident. That’s the Rainbow I know.”

When Fluttershy looked back up, Ditzy’s eyes were a lot softer, a small smile on her face. That charming, disarming smile. “She sounds like she’s a real good friend of yours,” she said, bitterness gone from her voice.

“She is,” Fluttershy nodded. “We have been for a long time.”

Ditzy’s smile grew shy as she said, “I hope I can be there to support you too, Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy didn’t notice Ditzy’s hoof until it was right on top of hers. Heat rushed to her face as she pulled her own hoof back. “As a friend,” she said hastily. She noticed Ditzy’s shocked expression and repeated more calmly, “As a friend… right?”

Ditzy squirmed a bit in her seat, her eyes darting around nervously and her cheeks bright pink. “Yeah… as a friend.” She shook her head and looked up at the clock. “Look, I better go. It was… it was really nice getting to talk to you.”

“It was nice talking to you too,” Fluttershy muttered, taking cover behind her mane. “Um… see you around, Ditzy.”

“Yeah… seeya.” Ditzy slinked out, an almost tangible feel of dejection to her gait as she trotted out of Sugarcube Corner.

There was a short silence before Pinkie peeked her head out from under the table. “Oh yeah. She has it for you bad.”

“Had, it looks like,” Fluttershy mumbled, practically wilting. “I hope I didn’t hurt her feelings too badly.”

“Hey, it was just a crush, right? She should get over it,” Pinkie assured as she climbed out from under the table.

“Yeah… just a crush.” She sighed before wondering aloud, “Should I have given her a chance?”

“Hey, don’t ask me,” Pinkie said as she brushed herself off. “I don’t have my crystal ball with me.”

Fluttershy furrowed her brow in thought before ultimately shaking her head and getting up to leave. “Too late now, I suppose…”

Friendly Counsel

“…so, like some stupid, horny teenager, I reached across the table and put my hoof on hers,” Ditzy mumbled, head cradled in both front hooves. “She recoiled like she was bitten by a snake, and made it clear she just wants to be friends. So yeah, I feel really dense right about now.”

Ditzy sighed and banged her forehead on the picnic table. She’d done that many times over the years that her and her friends had eaten at that table in Ponyville Park, in the exact same seat, every work day. She’d practically memorized the feeling of the wooden grooves in her skull.

“Wow, struck out in only a day. That’s something I’d expect from you, Cloud Kicker,” Blossomforth said before taking a messy bite of her sandwich.

“What’re you talking about? The ponies love me,” Cloud Kicker said defensively.

Ditzy didn’t need to be looking at her to tell that Blossomforth rolled her eyes. “Whatever you say, Cloudy. Point is, yeah, way too direct way too soon, Ditzy.”

“You’re not helping,” Ditzy grumbled.

“Not sure there’s any helping that can be done,” Blossomforth said bluntly. “I think that bridge is smoldering at the bottom of the ravine.”

“Always a ray of sunshine, you are,” Ditzy said, glaring half-heartedly up at her.

Blossomforth shrugged with a smile. “I try my best.”

“Why so hung up on this one mare, anyway?” Cloud Kicker asked. “Plenty of other fish out there for bi gals like us, and you’ve said before how sick you are of sleeping alone.”

Ditzy sighed and pried her head off the table. “Maybe if I want a brief fling, Cloudy, but I don’t. You might be comfortable with your reputation, but I’m not with mine. The second I have an affair, everypony will feel justified in calling me an easy lay all these years.”

“And they’re going to anyway,” Cloudy said with a roll of her eyes. “You know how ponies are. They gab and gab and gab about you behind your back anyway. You just gotta learn to stop caring and do what you want.”

“Easy for you to say,” Ditzy mumbled. “You don’t have two foals to worry about. They already got enough grief from other ponies their age over my eyes; I don’t want them getting harassed over my sleeping habits.”

“Then go on vacation to Las Pegasus or something and go nuts, away from anypony that knows you,” Cloud Kicker said. “Trust me, a mare with a figure like yours would have no trouble getting a partner for the horizontal tango.”

“Smooth,” Blossomforth said flatly.

Ditzy blushed through a frown. “Again, I don’t want a brief fling, Cloudy. I want more personal, emotional intimacy. I don’t really mind sleeping alone. I want to stop waking up alone.”

“And that sort of desperation isn’t exactly attractive, Ditzy,” Blossomforth said. “You need to cool your jets a bit before moving onto another pony.”

“That’s the thing: I don’t want another pony. I want Fluttershy. She just seems so… so perfect,” Ditzy sighed.

“Oh really?” Cloud Kicker said, leaning in.

Blushing deeper, Ditzy nodded. “She’s attentive, she’s caring, she’s sensitive, she’s adorable, she’s insightful, she doesn’t have a judgmental bone in her body, and she’s got a nice set of cutie marks, if you catch my drift. I think the girls would really take to her if we started dating, and-”

“See, that’s what I’m talking about,” Blossomforth cut in. “You’ve pretty much picked out the wedding cake, and you haven’t even known her a week yet. I get that you’ve been single for a long, long time, but this isn’t going to help your case with her.”

Ditzy opened her mouth to respond, but after a moment of consideration she let her indignation deflate with a sigh. “You’re right. What in the world am I thinking?”

“That you’re lonely and sexually frustrated and that she’s a fantastic piece of flank?” Cloud Kicker guessed.

Ditzy glared at her. “You’re not helping, either.”

“Let’s take a look at your options, here,” Blossomforth said, leaning on her elbows. “You can stay friends with her and just wait for a better time to make advances.”

“Which is dishonest and horrible,” Cloud Kicker interrupted.

“You can be straightforward and keep making advances,” Blossomforth continued.

“Which is honest, but I’m pretty sure borders on harassment,” Cloud Kicker butted in again.

“Or you can just give up on the whole thing and accept being her friend,” Blossomforth finished.

“The most honorable option, but also the most depressing,” Cloud Kicker finished as well.

Ditzy groaned and slammed her forehead on the table again. “I’m doomed no matter what I decide, aren’t I?”

“Pretty much,” Blossomforth said.

“Sounds like it,” Cloud Kicker agreed.

Ditzy held her head and rocked it back and forth. “What am I gonna do…?”

“My advice? Drop it and move on. Cloud Kicker was right; there are plenty of other fish in the sea and other such cliché,” Blossomforth said.

“Wow, I was right about something? I’ll have to mark today on my calendar,” Cloud Kicker said with a smirk.

“Don’t let it go to your head,” Blossomforth said with an unimpressed stare.

Ditzy let out a heavy sigh, lifting her head once more. “Guess I’ll give up and just be straight with her. She deserves a friend, not a pony pushing their issues on her.”

Blossomforth nodded with a smile. “Very adult decision, Ditzy.”

“Speaking of adult decisions, guess who I hooked up with last night?” Cloud Kicker said with an impish grin.

“Here we go,” Blossomforth said with a roll of her eyes.

As her two best friends exchanged banter over Cloud Kicker’s latest sexual conquest, Ditzy quietly ate, only half-listening to them. Despite her best efforts to crush it underhoof, hope stirred in the back of her mind about a certain yellow pegasus. She kept it to herself, though…