Princess Stupid Jerk McButt Has A Picnic With Her Dumb Friends and Fluttershy, by the Great and Powerful Trixie

by Twinkletail

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, Main 6, Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 7922

No one likes Princess Stupid Jerk McButt and this is why. By the Great and Powerful Trixie

Princess Stupid Jerk McButt is a big dumb princess who has social events with only a very small group of ponies and refuses to invite her new friend to them even though her new friend is very nice and apologized for the time she enslaved the town. No one likes her because of this, except her other dumb friends, and her one not-as-dumb friend.

I've been told to thank Too Manestream for the cover picture. Whatever that means.

Published 2014-04-02 00:50:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-01 14:38:54 UTC

Purple is a Terrible Color

Once upon a time, there was a big dumb pony named Princess Stupid Jerk McButt. She liked to walk around and be all like, "Ooo, I'm such a great princess and everypony loves me, look at how pointy my horn is, I sure like magic." She was the biggest and stupidest butt in all of Buttville. Some ponies called it Ponyville, but I know better.

Princess Stupid Jerk McButt lived in a tree. That's how everypony knew she was stupid. Normally ponies who aren't stupid live in non-trees, but she lived in a tree, and that was really stupid. Nopony told her she was stupid, and actually a lot of ponies told her she was very smart, but it was probably just because they thought "stupid" was too hard a word for her.

One day, Princess Stupid Jerk McButt walked out of her house (which was still a tree, and still stupid). She looked up at the sky and said, "What a nice day." It was really stupid that she said that because there wasn't even anypony around to say that to. She also said this while being purple, which is scientifically proven to be the stupidest color. Have you ever known anything that was both purple and smart? No, you haven't.

She decided it would be a good day to go visit her friends, who were also pretty stupid but not as stupid as she was. There was the stupid orange one with the ugly hat who liked apples despite being the same color as a far superior fruit, the blue one with the hideous multicolored mane, the white one who's all obsessed with fashion and rude and stuff, the annoying pink one who never stops talking, and Fluttershy, who was actually pretty nice and is probably the least stupid of the whole bunch.

Princess Stupid Jerk McButt got all her friends together and said "We should have a picnic celebrating how smelly we are." The rest of them said okay because they weren't smart and also they did smell, which made that the first thing Princess Stupid Jerk McButt ever said that was correct. So they all went to have a picnic, except they forgot the picnic blanket and the utensils and the picnic basket and the food. They forgot all of these things due to how amazingly dumb they were. But they still called it a picnic. Guess whose idea it was to still call it a picnic without any of the things you need for a picnic?

Spoilers: It was Princess Stupid Jerk McButt's idea.

So the six ponies (or five ponies and one jerk) had a picnic without any picnic things whatsoever, which I guess meant they just sat on the grass and looked at each other. They did all of this without inviting anypony else, which shows you how big a stupid jerk Princess Stupid Jerk McButt is. They didn't even invite the nice, humble, friendly blue unicorn who moved into town not long ago. She would have been a very good pony to invite to that picnic, because she was very smart and good at things and never would have forgotten the supplies for a picnic. But they didn't invite her at all, which was definitely Princess Stupid Jerk McButt's fault because she's the leader or something, even though Fluttershy would be a better leader because she is actually nice.

But the nice, humble, friendly blue unicorn, whose name was the Great and Powerful (nee Apologetic) Trixie, found them having their stupid not-picnic, because she was smart and knew how to find anypony she wanted to. Trixie spoke very calmly to them about how disappointed she was over not being invited to their picnic. She spoke very, very calmly, even though it might have sounded loud to the other ponies, but that is just because she tends to speak loudly even when she isn't mad at all about anything. That is just because Trixie is boisterous and full of power, and it is completely unrelated to her current mood, even though her mood at the time was calm and not the slightest bit angry.

Princess Stupid Jerk McButt told Trixie that they weren't having a picnic at all, and that they would have invited Trixie if they were. She tried to tell Trixie that they just happened to be watching the blue one practice for the Wonderbolts, but Trixie saw right through her lies, because Trixie was a brilliant pony with a very stylish mane. Trixie knew that Princess Stupid Jerk McButt only said that because she was caught in the act of being stupid and did not want to admit to it. Or maybe because she was too stupid to realize that she was stupid. It was definitely one of those two reasons, or perhaps both.

The orange one said something with the word "y'all" in it, which showed that she was almost as stupid as Princess Stupid Jerk McButt. The white one and the pink one also said things but Trixie didn't listen to them because they were probably just talking about dresses and parties, respectively. The blue one (who wasn't as good a blue as Trixie) didn't say anything, because she wasn't smart enough to say anything. Fluttershy apologized and said that she would definitely invite Trixie to the next party they had. Trixie believed her, because Fluttershy was the least dumb.

Trixie told the ponies that she would expect to see them at their next picnic. Princess Stupid Jerk McButt told her that they would, but Trixie knew that she would forget because there was nothing about her that was good at all, so she asked Fluttershy to remember. Fluttershy said she would, and smiled at Trixie, which made Trixie slightly less angry, even though she wasn't even angry in the first place as I said before. Princess Stupid Jerk McButt said something to Trixie as she left that sounded like "bye," but she was almost certainly just making random noises and happened to stumble upon one that sounded appropriate to the conversation taking place.

The moral of the story is: no one likes Princess Stupid Jerk McButt, everypony should invite Trixie to their picnics all the time, and Fluttershy should get better taste in friends because she is the only one in her group of friends who isn't dumb. Perhaps Trixie shall allow her to be her friend.

The end.

Author's Note

I wrote this in 45 minutes with absolutely nothing planned for it. Just decided to go wherever my mind took me.

Twilight is the Worst Time of Day

It was a bright, glorious day. Almost as glorious as the Great and Powerful Trixie, but not quite.

Trixie was sitting outside her house (which was not a tree and therefore not stupid), just minding her own business and practicing her amazing feats of prestidigitation. She did not need practice, of course, because she was excellent at magic, but it did not hurt to do so anyway. Trixie probably should have charged passers-by for this impromptu show, but she was feeling gracious that day. So gracious that it did not matter to her when the hat that she had left on the ground in front of her (for decorative purposes only, of course) was left empty. She would have certainly turned down anypony who had attempted to put money in it, and was thankful that nopony even tried to, because she did not want to feel awkward turning them down.

Then everything was ruined.

A shadow was suddenly cast over Trixie and the group of small baubles which she was using for her latest trick. Trixie was bothered, but not furious, because Trixie is calm and collected at all times. She was quite enjoying the sunlight until that point, and it made her tools easier to see. She looked up into the sky, and who did she see?

I'll give you three guesses.

It was Princess Stupid Jerk McButt.

Princess Stupid Jerk McButt appeared to be taking time off from her job being an idiot in order to be a selfish braggart. There she was, flying overhead with her stupid wings that Trixie was definitely not jealous of, because wings are annoying and ugly, unless they are colored nice colors, like maybe a light yellow or something to that effect. Definitely not purple, though. And despite the awfulness of purple wings, Princess Stupid Jerk McButt was in the air, bragging to everypony who could see her about how she had them. She may not have been saying anything, but Trixie could tell by her body language that her intent was to boast. Trixie is insightful like that. Princess Stupid Jerk McButt was absolutely bragging.

Little did she know.

I bet you thought that was going to be the beginning of a sentence, didn't you? Well, it isn't. She really did know very little, on account of being so stupid and purple.

Trixie decided that she should attempt to have a nice, pleasant talk with Princess Stupid Jerk McButt. Doing so was no easy feat, as it took a certain level of intelligence to carry on a conversation, but Trixie was good at everything and figured she could pull it off. Trixie called Princess Stupid Jerk McButt down in a tone that was very polite. It made Princess Stupid Jerk McButt's ears fold back, but that was probably because she was too dumb to understand that sounds only hurt your ears if they are loud.

Trixie tried to explain, with a level of elegance that rivaled even the classiest of ponies, that Princess Stupid Jerk McButt's insistence on blocking her light was detrimental to her practice. She was all like, "Oh, but I was only above you for two seconds!" She would think that, what with her lack of intelligence and all. Time clearly wasn't a concept that she could grasp. Trixie, ever the generous soul, attempted to teach it to her, but this only resulted in Princess Stupid Jerk McButt getting all angry and saying things like, "I know what minutes are," and "You're causing a scene!" But Trixie would not be lowered down to Princess Stupid Jerk McButt's intelligence by acknowledging her lies.

Trixie asked (not demanded, as Princess Stupid Jerk McButt would later claim) that she kindly go elsewhere and leave Trixie to her magic tricks. It was then that Princess Stupid Jerk McButt had the unmitigated gall to ask if Trixie needed any help! The nerve! Trixie stood there wearing an expression of surprise, which some ponies of particularly low intellect might have misconstrued as a rage-filled glare, as Princess Stupid Jerk McButt tried to tell her how to fix up her magical technique. Trixie did not have any intent of following the dullard's advice, although she did take mental notes of one or two things she said. She would later try these things Princess Stupid Jerk McButt suggested out of pure curiosity, and while it may have looked like it improved her technique, Trixie knew that it was sabotage by the diabolical dunce, and swore to only use said pieces of advice in instances where she could show ponies how wrong Princess Stupid Jerk McButt was.

Trixie countered the idiotic advice of Princess Stupid Jerk McButt with an eloquently-worded diatribe of the many things she could do with her advice. Princess Stupid Jerk McButt asked Trixie to stop being so rude, but Trixie knew that the things she was saying were only being said to help the poor oaf. After all, the knowledge of exactly where one could or could not put something was invaluable, and if Princess Stupid Jerk McButt was smarter, she could understand that one could not put words in the place that Trixie suggested. This, of course, went right over her head.

Princess Stupid Jerk McButt asked Trixie to show her how she was doing the trick before if she was so smart. Trixie was indeed smart, making this the second thing Princess Stupid Jerk McButt ever said that was correct. As it was, Trixie never did get to show her exactly how it was done, because it was just hen that Fluttershy flew by. Princess Stupid Jerk McButt was lucky, because if Trixie had done that trick correctly at that moment, which she absolutely would have, then Princess Stupid Jerk McButt would have looked stupider than she already did (which was already very stupid).

Fluttershy hovered above Trixie and Princess Stupid Jerk McButt, her form casting a nice shadow over Trixie and her baubles. Trixie was relieved by this, as the sun had been beating down on her rather handily, and the shadow landed on her baubles in such a way that made them look far less shiny, and therefore easier to work with.

Fluttershy asked what the problem was, and Princess Stupid Jerk McButt rudely accused Trixie of hollering at her, never once informing her of how rude she was being by bragging. Trixie followed up on her majesty's lies with a beautifully-spoken and absolutely fair recollection of the terrible events. As it turned out, Trixie was quite lucky that it had been Fluttershy who had shown up, as Princess Stupid Jerk McButt's other friends were too dim-witted to understand what had happened. Fluttershy, on the other hoof, understood perfectly, and even asked Princess Stupid Jerk McButt to apologize to Trixie. Her royal dumbness was very upset by this, but Fluttershy whispered something to her, which was probably something about how great Trixie was. Whatever it was, it was enough to convince Princess Stupid Jerk McButt to give Trixie a much-deserved apology. Trixie did not completely believe her apology, but she accepted it anyway because of how nice and smart she was.

The moral of the story is: nopony likes Princess Stupid Jerk McButt, her shadow is just as awful as she is, and sometimes even the most dumb of ponies are able to apologize if prompted to do so by a far superior pony. Perhaps Trixie should invite Fluttershy over for tea one day. Good ponies should stick together, after all.

Nopony Likes Striped Manes

One day, there was an amazing pony named the Great and Powerful Trixie. She was great at everything. She was a fantastic magician, and she had a beautifully-styled mane, and everypony in the world liked her and talked about how great she was.

Everypony, that is, except for one big, fat jerk. But we'll get back to her.

The Great and Powerful Trixie was very busy one day. She was busy reorganizing things in her wonderful, luxurious home, a home that everypony was clearly jealous of. She was putting all of her important belongings (which was all of them, because everything she owned was important due to the fact that she owned them) away in their proper places, in case she were to get a visit from a pony whose company she enjoyed. She had made sure to put the fine china in a easily accessible place, because perhaps a nice pony like Fluttershy might stop by for tea.

Then Trixie heard a knock on her door. She knew instantly who it had to be knocking. It was almost definitely one of her many adoring fans come to bask in the glory of her presence. Or perhaps it was Fluttershy after all. Trixie had not gotten the opportunity yet to invite her over for tea, but some ponies believe that smart ponies like Trixie and Fluttershy know when one is thinking about the other. Trixie opened the door to her lovely house, ready to greet her visitor.

And who was at the door?

Princess Stupid Jerk McButt!

The Great and Powerful Trixie was vexed by the sight of such a rude and unattractive pony at her door, but as always, she reacted with grace and charm. Princess Stupid Jerk McButt said something stupid like "Why are you yelling at me?" This proved that she was stupid, because Trixie was not yelling at all. She was simply projecting her voice and speaking clearly, so a less intelligent pony like Princess Stupid Jerk McButt could understand. She, of course, did not appreciate this, because she was dumb and ugly and bad at everything.

Her royal dumbness actually had the nerve to ask Trixie if she needed any help with anything! As if Trixie would ever need help from a clod like her! Trixie kindly informed the idiot that her services would not be needed, and the dunce somehow took offense to this. Trixie understood that sometimes the less fortunate ponies needed to feel needed, and that encouraging the dumb and useless to try and make themselves useful was a good practice. However, Trixie would not cowtow to the likes of her when she did not need any help. When the big dumb princess would not take no for an answer, Trixie, in all her benevolence, offered to allow her to help after all. Oddly enough (or sensibly enough, given the substandard intellect of the pony in question), Princess Stupid Jerk McButt managed to take offense at Trixie's suggestion that she find the nearest pier and go for a swim. Trixie thought (knew) she was being nice; it was a rather warm day. Of course, Princess Stupid Jerk McButt did not catch the not-so-subtle nuances of Trixie's suggestion.

Then, the royal doofus even had the gall to ask Trixie to come take residence in her house! As if Trixie would ever want to live in a big, stupid tree! Trixie's home was perfectly suitable and lovely, and for Twilight to insinuate otherwise was an affront to Trixie and everything she stood for! Sure, one of the wheels on her home was missing, but Trixie saw that as a blessing. It gave her more chance to exercise, and she did not even trust wheels to begin with. Trixie made sure to make all of this known to Princess Stupid Jerk McButt. She could have sworn she saw the idiot princess wipe her face off, but that was preposterous, as Trixie never spits. It was far more likely that a drop of rain from an errant cloud fell on her face, or that she was pretending to wipe something off of her face in an effort to make Trixie look uncivilized. As expected, it did not work.

Just as Trixie was about to request that Princess Stupid Jerk McButt stop harassing her, Fluttershy appeared. Trixie thought about how Fluttershy had a strange way of showing up when Princess Stupid Jerk McButt was around, and figured that perhaps she was doing her a service by staying close. After all, without proper supervision, a nincompoop like Princess Stupid Jerk McButt could hurt herself.

Fluttershy asked Trixie and the royal idiot to stop fighting. She certainly must have meant to only ask the princess, as Trixie was not being hostile in any sense, but being the kind-hearted soul that she is, she must have asked us both so as not to make the dolt feel bad about herself. Princess Stupid a Jerk McButt said something that sounded like "sorry," but she probably didn't even know what she was supposed to be sorry about. Trixie did not apologize because she had done nothing wrong.

Fluttershy was kind enough to ask Trixie if she needed any help moving her things. Trixie thanked her for her kindness and allowed her to aid in moving some of her belongings. Princess Stupid Jerk McButt attempted to steal some of Trixie's things under the guise of also trying to help, but Trixie caught her in the act and took her possessions back. She insisted that she was only trying to help, but apparently she was not as good a liar as she was a moron. Not that any lie could get past Trixie.

Once everything of Trixie's was moved, Fluttershy gave her a big smile. Trixie smiled back, because that is what nice, smart, talented ponies do when a sweet pony like Fluttershy smiles at them. Princess Stupid Jerk McButt also smiled at Trixie, but Trixie ignored her. Her smile was disingenuous, and she likely only did it because she saw Fluttershy do it, and all ponies should strive to be like Fluttershy. Well, actually, they should strive to be like Trixie, but if they want a more attainable goal, Fluttershy is a good choice.

Trixie felt an odd, warm feeling in her chest as Fluttershy smiled at her. It was probably the lunch she had eaten recurring on her, but it felt nicer than that. Trixie suddenly felt the urge to ask Fluttershy if she wanted to have tea with her right then and there. She did so immediately, but Fluttershy kindly declined, telling her that she was to go to the park with Princess Stupid Jerk McButt. Trixie understood; a pony of such low intelligence needed to be under constant supervision, and who better to supervise than Fluttershy? The only pony who was in her league was Trixie, and Trixie would not be caught dead spending considerable time with her royal dumbness. Fluttershy did promise, however, that she would join her for tea soon. Trixie felt warm again as she heard this. Her lunch was quite large and spicy, after all.

Trixie waved to Fluttershy as she left. She also begrudgingly waved to Princess Stupid Jerk McButt, and she could hear the idiot complaining to Fluttershy that Trixie had made a rude gesture to her with her hooves. Some ponies just do not understand manners.

Yellow is a Very Good Color

It was a wonderful, sunny afternoon by the Great and Powerful Trixie's lavish abode. Early afternoon was Trixie's favorite time of day, because it was one of the farthest points from her least favorite time of day, a detestable time that began with T which she preferred not to say out loud.

Trixie was minding her own business, taking in the sun while wearing her favorite hat and cape. They were the finest hat and cape that anypony had ever seen, glorious pieces of fashion adorned with the most spectacular star designs. Nopony could ever wear anything as fine as them. Trixie was even able to overlook the fact that they were purple. Somehow, purple just worked on them (as well as on her eyes), whereas the mere presence of that color anywhere else, especially as the primary color of a pony's coat, was horrid.

Anyway, Trixie was minding her own business by her home while wearing her favorite clothes during her favorite time of day. It should have been the perfect situation, and it certainly was for a while.

But of course, all good things (other than Trixie, who will be around forever) must come to an end, and this good thing came to a horrific end when Princess Stupid Jerk McButt showed up. And she wasn't alone, either. She had that irritating white unicorn friend of hers in tow. Trixie figured that it made sense for the two of them to go somewhere with each other. After all, birds of a feather flocked together, and they had some of the dumbest feathers of all. The fact that the white one did not have feathers was a moot point. If she did, they would be dumb and she would probably dress them in some stupid-looking wing covers.

Princess Stupid Jerk McButt outdid herself with her rudeness this time, addressing Trixie informally and without even including her proper title as if Trixie were a familiar friend of hers. As if Trixie would ever be friends with the likes of her! Trixie, of course, was far too perfect and polite to tell her royal dumbness what she truly thought of her, and opts instead to ask her where she got the sun hat she was wearing. Trixie's first guess, the dumpster, was woefully incorrect, if one could believe the words of a pony as unintelligent as the one wearing said hat.

The white one was able to tell that Princess Stupid Jerk McButt was too angry at how smelly she was to speak, so she spoke instead, a situation which was only just barely an improvement over what could have been. She spoke to Trixie, telling her that she wished to speak to her about her hat and cape. Trixie, in her very first instance of being incorrect about anything, assumed that the white one wanted to compliment her on her fantastic style and panache, and was shocked and appalled when she had the nerve to call them ratty! Now, Trixie was never one to lose her temper, but even the best of ponies (AKA Trixie) has an occasional misstep. Thankfully for the white buffoon, Trixie did not have any true intentions of introducing her face to her flanks. Trixie was not one for violence.

The white one (who had a name, but Trixie thought it unimportant to remember it) took a few moments before she said anything else. To a laypony, it might have looked like she was simply trying to calm herself down, but Trixie knew that she was not very smart and was likely trying to figure out what words she wanted to use. To her credit, she did seem smarter than Princess Stupid Jerk McButt, but to say that was akin to saying that steel was harder than pudding.

Trixie suddenly wanted pudding. But it had to wait, because the white one had finally started to speak. She tried to point out that Trixie had been wearing the same outfit each time she had seen her, but Trixie did not see that as a problem. Ponies rarely wear clothes for the most part, so naturally a pony would typically only own a very small wardrobe. Trixie's one outfit was enough for her. The white one even had problems with the style of Trixie's outfit! She did not respect the speed holes in her hat and cape, holes which Trixie had carefully allowed to show up naturally. After all, it was best to let nature run its course. They may have looked like unsightly tears to the uneducated eye, but Trixie knew fashion, whereas the white one seemed to be entirely unaware.

And then, as if she had not done enough already, the white one had the nerve to ask if she could modify Trixie's outfit! Trixie could hardly believe her ears. As if Trixie would ever allow such a pony to make any sort of modifications to her outfit! Trixie politely turned down her offer, but she still would not quit, going so far as to offer to make an entirely new outfit for her! Unbelievable! A pony of her fashion sense could not be trusted to make an outfit befitting of the Great and Powerful Trixie! Trixie decided to keep her anger in check, instead turning it into happiness. The laughter that came from her was soothing and melodic, and not derisive and rude like Princess Stupid Jerk McButt claimed. Trixie had no clue how such a dumb pony knew the word "derisive," but everypony gets lucky sometimes.

Trixie did not stop laughing until Fluttershy happened by. Trixie found herself unable to speak when she saw Fluttershy. Perhaps it was because she was so accustomed to talking to dumb ponies like Princess Stupid Jerk McButt and the white one that finding something to say to a smart, sweet pony like Fluttershy was an awkward change for her. Fluttershy asked what was going on, and the other two nincompoops tried to answer, but Trixie's voice was too great and powerful for them to be heard.

Once Fluttershy heard the whole story from Trixie, she had a suggestion, saying that maybe Trixie should allow the white one (who she told her was named Rarity or something along those lines) to make her a new outfit. Trixie thought about it for a moment. For some reason, when Fluttershy said it, it sounded like a good idea. Probably because Fluttershy is actually smart and nice, unlike the other two dimwits she was dealing with. Trixie allowed Rarity to make her an outfit, but only because Fluttershy asked so nicely. After all, it was probably a good thing to allow a pony of substandard intelligence to feel useful. That is what benevolent ponies do, and if there is any word that describes Trixie besides great and powerful, it was benevolent. The Great and Powerful and Benevolent Trixie.

Once Rarity was placated, Trixie decided that now would be the best time to talk to Fluttershy about tea. It took some time for her to get the words out. If it was another pony having the same difficulty, it could have been seen as nervousness, but Trixie never got nervous about anything, so odds were that she just had something caught in her throat. When she finally did, she invited Fluttershy to come back later (without the other two, because they were boring and dumb) to have tea with Trixie. Fluttershy hesitated, likely taken aback by how great and generous an offer it was. Then she said yes. Trixie was very happy about this, especially since her saying that also seemed to make Princess Stupid Jerk McButt look upset for some reason, and anything that makes Princess Stupid Jerk McButt upset was fine by her. Not that she was vindictive, of course.

Fluttershy promised to return in two hours, and then she left with the other two. Princess Stupid Jerk McButt seemed to be haranguing Fluttershy about something as the three walked off, but Trixie did not listen in. Whatever her royal dumbness was saying was probably too dumb for Trixie to care. All she cared about right now was making sure that tea would be ready for the sweet, lovely Fluttershy's visit. Trixie finally decided upon entering the house that perhaps a pony like Fluttershy was worthy of seeing Trixie on a regular basis, and could not wait for what she considered to be their first date to begin.

Trixie, by Those Other Than Trixie

One day, there was a pony named the Great and Powerful Trixie. She had come to Ponyville a few times before, and each time, she had been very rude. She bragged about her accomplishments and talents, embarrassed ponies in front of crowds (such as one certain pony named Applejack who got trussed up like a turkey for standing up for herself), and even enslaved the whole town. She even tortured that pony Applejack for no reason by tickling her until she could barely breathe, and if she knew how ticklish Applejack was, she would have realized that that just ain't right. But she didn't, because she was too obsessed with herself to think about that.

But Applejack's family had always taught her that doing a couple of bad things don't necessarily make a pony bad, and that the best way to help a pony who ain't nice is to be nice to them and try to turn things around, especially when that pony is real down on her luck. Applejack just didn't realize that at first, until her friends reminded her of it. So Applejack decided that maybe she could make nice and make things right by bringing her a wheel to replace the broken one on her cart. After all, everypony needs a friend, even if they don't know it yet.

~~~~~~~~~~

One day, there was a pony named the Great and. Powerful Trixie. She was an absolutely boorish sort who seemed to hold no concern for anypony but herself. She liked to tell people how great she was all the time and enjoyed making lovely ponies like Rarity look foolish by turning their manes into truly detestable colors and styles. She allowed herself to become consumed with revenge after being shown up by Twilight, and she brought dark days upon Ponyville in this pursuit. Even worse, she dared to use an awful brown as the primary color for an ensemble, even though said brown is clearly meant for accents. Even after she had apologized for these atrocities, she continued to show her troublesome ways by invading a picnic and complaining that she had not been invited. Even when Rarity generously offered to take time out of her busy schedule to fix Trixie's torn attire, or even make an entirely new outfit for her, she remained callous and ungrateful, and only accepted it (without so much as a thank you, mind you) when Fluttershy asked her to. She was certainly an unlike able sort.

But at the same time, it is important for ponies to remember not to judge a pony too harshly. Everypony has their bad days, everypony makes mistakes and says things they do not mean, and everypony deserves to be forgiven for these things. Even a pony who does these things to other ponies deserves a kindness here and there, and perhaps when a pony is feeling her worst, a well-timed kindness could turn a fiend into a friend. Rarity knew this to be true, and made sure to put her best efforts into a new wardrobe for Trixie that would compliment her coat and mane properly and radiate beauty even on a pony whose previous behavior had been so ugly. It was the least she could do.

~~~~~~~~~~

One day, there was a pony named the Great and Powerful Trixie. She always acted like a jerk to ponies. She was always talking about how great she was. She tied Applejack up (which was kind of funny, even though I did feel bad for her) and she gave Rarity green hair (which was also sorta funny, though Rainbow Dash would never tell her that). But then she zapped Rainbow Dash with lightning, which was totally uncool. Then she left for a while after she looked bad by not being able to stop an Ursa Minor, but then she came back and was worse than ever. She kicked Twilight out of Ponyville and did a whole lot of really rude things to ponies. She even made one of Rainbow Dash's wings really huge. That would have been cool if she did it to both, even though it would have been kinda strange looking, but she only did it to one, which, again, was totally uncool. Rainbow Dash was glad when she apologized and left, but then she came back and didn't seem to learn a thing, and kept bragging about herself. And who does that?

Rainbow Dash does that. And thinking about it that way, maybe that's not the worst thing in the world. Sure, the enslaving Ponyville thing was pretty bad, but a pony as awesome and talented as Rainbow Dash couldn't stay mad forever at a pony just cause they also bragged about themselves. And even though she was a jerk, she didn't deserve to be as sad as Rainbow Dash heard she was. And hey, Rainbow Dash always liked making new friends. So when Rainbow Dash heard that Trixie needed some cheering up, she knew just what to do. She didn't have any stuff that Trixie could use like a new wheel or a new outfit, but she did have Wonderbolt connections. Maybe the Wonderbolts could benefit from an opening magic act at their new show? It couldn't hurt, and she really hoped that Trixie would appreciate the effort.

~~~~~~~~~~

One day, there was a pony named the Great and Powerful Trixie! She was blue and had purple eyes and really liked magic, and she liked herself even more than magic! She was kinda good with her magic, though she was no Twilight, but I mean come on, who is Twilight? Twilight is! But she was still good at magic even though she wasn't Twilight. She was also a bit of a meanie-pants, which wasn't nice. She went on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on-

Oh! Sorry, Twilight told me that was enough ons! But what I was trying to say was that she talked a loooooooot about how amazing she was! And that's not really so bad because Dashie does that all the time and everypony likes Dashie so I'm not really sure why we were so upset about it in the first place. I guess it was cause she did it in a kinda rude way? So then she came back to town again and she was even meaner! She talked bad about rock farms and when I told her that she was lucky to work on a rock farm, she cast a spell that took my mouth away! I mean come on! Who does that? I had so many things I wanted to say that I couldn't! And don't even ask how I managed to breathe since she took my nose away too! I'm not even sure how to answer that! It just kinda worked I guess! But it was still really really mean! Almost as mean as when she kicked Twilight out of town!

But then she apologized. And that's really important because I know she was even acting kinda rude when she came back the third time, but just the fact that she apologized means that she's really a good pony at heart! So when I heard that she was really really sad, I knew that I had to cheer her up! And that worked out great cause the rest of the girls thought the same thing! I know Fluttershy didn't mean to make her sad because Fluttershy would never ever make somepony sad on purpose, but we're gonna make it right as rain! Though hopefully not too much like rain, cause the party I'm gonna throw her is gonna be really really big and if there's too much rain the streamers will get all wet and then they'll be more like wet paper blobs instead of streamers. But I guess those can be fun too! There's no way Trixie will be able to stay sad after we all surprise her!

Oh wait! I forgot that I was supposed to refer to myself in the third person! Ouh, I mean "Pinkie forgot that Pinkie was supposed to refer to Pinkie's self in the third. Pinkie!" Can we start over?

~~~~~~~~~~

One day, there was a pony named the Great and Powerful Trixie. Many ponies thought that she was a bit rude and insufferable, but that simply wasn't the case at all. Sometimes she did or said things that made ponies upset or unhappy, but that didn't mean that she was a bad pony. She was actually a very sweet pony when you got to know her, but too many ponies just didn't give her the chance. If we judged ponies to be bad based on just a couple of not-so-nice things they did, then most ponies would be seen as bad. Even the kindest ponies, whether they mean to or not, do things that hurt other ponies' feelings.

Fluttershy was one of those ponies. Fluttershy accidentally said something to Trixie that made her very, very sad. She had misinterpreted a situation and hurt Trixie's feelings terribly. Fluttershy wasn't used to making ponies so sad, and when she realized what she'd done, she had a good little cry herself. She hoped and hoped that Trixie would forgive her, because finding out how badly she'd hurt her feelings was one of the worst feelings in the world.

There are some ponies that think Trixie is a bad pony because she says and does things that hurt ponies' feelings. Well, if that makes her a bad pony, then that would make Fluttershy a bad pony too, and Fluttershy liked to think that wasn't the case. Trixie really was a nice pony, and Fluttershy wanted more than anything to make her happy again. She promised to herself that she would make it up to Trixie, and hopefully, with a little help from a special somepony, she could.

~~~~~~~~~~

One day, there was a pony named the Great and Powerful Trixie. Trixie was a rather good magician, but she liked to believe that she was better than she really was. When ponies saw through her braggadocios ways, she tended to lash out at them and try to get revenge when such a thing wasn't necessary. She held grudges like one wouldn't believe, and even on the rare occasions that she would realize her mistakes and apologize for them, she would just go right back to being upset at that pony for no good reason. She would even make up terrible, insulting nicknames for ponies that she didn't like, no matter how hard they tried to make nice with her. Ponies who were neither stupid nor a jerk, and while they did possess a posterior like all ponies, it was not at all prominent enough to receive featured status in a nickname.

The fact remained, though, that it wasn't right to hold grudges, even against a pony who holds a grudge against you. A pony who is often angry and irrational is still a pony like the rest of us, and deserves fair treatment. Twilight knew that Trixie was a good pony, and she knew very well that Fluttershy never wanted to hurt her. She might have been a little...apprehensive of Fluttershy's idea to make things right, but in the long run, all she wanted was to make ponies happy, and if this would make Fluttershy and Trixie happy, then she was willing to at least give it a try.

All Colors Are Good in Their Own Way (Blue is Still Best)

One day, there was a pony named the Great and Powerful Trixie. She was an amazing magician, worthy of all the praise that ever came her way. Perhaps she could be a bit headstrong or self-centered at times, but when a pony is as talented as she, they sometimes cannot help themselves in that aspect. Everypony has their flaws, and this was the one and only flaw that Trixie possessed.

Trixie had gone through a rather rough patch recently. Of course, being as great and powerful as she was, she was able to make it through such hard times. To be fair, though, she likely would have had a bit of a harder time doing so if not for the help of others. Not that she would have been incapable of it; it simply would have taken longer.

Trixie was feeling rather down on this particular day (which probably seems difficult to believe for anypony who knows how great Trixie is). Her ego had been dealt a devastating blow by a visit from Fluttershy just a few days earlier. Fluttershy had made her feel very bad, and although Trixie knew that she was far too nice to do that on purpose, she had a hard time accepting that at first. Trixie had opened her heart to Fluttershy and admitted her feelings for her, and Fluttershy had...well, she was already involved with somepony. Trixie was crushed, and fell into a deep depression, one so deep that nopony else could match it. Trixie was the best at everything she did, even things that she did not want to be good at like being depressed. Such is the burden of the Great and Powerful Trixie.

Trixie was expecting yet another day of sadness and depression, and was pleasantly surprised to find that this would not be the case as she watched Fluttershy and her friends approach her cart. The six of them, especially Fluttershy, apologized to Trixie for how bad she was feeling, and they each brought a present for Trixie. Applejack gave Trixie a new wheel for her cart, something which Trixie needed despite her distrust of wheels. Rarity had made Trixie a new hat and cape which actually managed to look nearly as good as the ones Trixie owned had looked when they were brand new. Rainbow Dash had managed to earn Trixie a position as an opening act for an upcoming Wonderbolts show, and while Trixie knew she was better than an opening act, the gesture was still appreciated. Pinkie Pie had brought all the supplies necessary for a giant party in Trixie's honor, which made Trixie feel quite honored indeed.

As for Fluttershy, she apologized over and over again to Trixie for making her feel terrible. As Trixie expected, she had never meant to do so. She informed Trixie that she and her marefriend had spoken about the idea of polygamy, and that her marefriend had offered to allow Fluttershy and Trixie to experiment with this idea. Trixie knew in her heart that Fluttershy had proposed this because she could not resist the charm and grace of the Great and Powerful Trixie, but she opted not to say this at that moment, instead granting Fluttershy the esteemed privilege of a hug from her. The other ponies joined in on the hug, as a very small, centralized downpour of rain just so happened to appear and drop raindrops just under Trixie's eyes and down her cheeks.

Trixie was very thankful for these ponies whom she now graciously allowed to be called "friends." Even Princess Stu-

...Even Twilight Sparkle.

Blue

Author's Note

(For those who can't read my terrible handwriting:

"Once upon a time, there was a pony named the Great and Powerful Trixie. She ~~was very smart~~ ~~was the best~~ did a lot of magic all the time. She did all the magic by herself and didn't nee anypony else. She especially didn't need ponies like Princess Stupid Jerk McButt who ruined EVERYTHING, or stupid yellow ponies who come over for tea and get ponies' hopes up, only to tell them that they are already dating Princess Stupid Jerk McButt. Trixie did not need ponies like that, or any ponies. She had her broken cart and her ripped clothes and that was all she ever needed. Trixie was alone, just like always. And that is exactly how she wanted it."

Trixie

One day, there was a pony named Trixie. She used to call herself the Great and Powerful Trixie, but she wasn't feeling particularly great nor powerful today.

She sat in front of her cart, watching the happy ponies go by. She wanted to leave, but she couldn't. Her cart's wheel had broken off not long after arriving in Ponyville, and she wasn't strong enough to drag it. She didn't dare leave it behind, lest it get spraypainted again. She had never caught whoever tagged it with that derogatory comment, but whoever it was was probably justified, given how poorly she had treated the town's citizens in the past. If they returned, she would be waiting.

Trixie hadn't even bothered to put on her hat and cape today. She didn't feel she deserved to wear them. Those garments were signs of a truly great and powerful pony, and as stated earlier, she didn't feel that either of those words properly described her today. Besides, they were tattered and torn. She couldn't explain how this fact had somehow eluded her before, but now, it was clear as day.

Even if she wanted to leave her cart and go somewhere, she had no place at all to go. She had no money. She had no friends. She had nothing. Nothing but her broken clothes, her broken cart, and her broken heart. And nothing was what she deserved.