Sweetie Belle Accidentally Becomes Famous on the Internetby bahatumayChaptersDiscoveryBlackmailAvengedConsequencesClosureDiscoveryThe young white filly danced, swaying her hips as she sang loudly. There was no music playing, but that didn’t matter to her. Her voice was strong, her delivery smooth, and she hit all the high notes perfectly. There were only a few things wrong with this picture. The third biggest thing was the fact that her style of dancing indicated that she might have been somewhat intoxicated. This was also indicated by the second biggest thing wrong, the fact that she was wearing a lampshade on her head that completely obscured her face and mane. The first biggest thing wrong? She wasn’t wearing pants. As if completely unconcerned with this fact, she continued to sing, really getting into the music; swinging her head, moving her shoulders, and, of course, rocking her hips. She finished strong on the last note and at least two other fillies cheered drunkenly as well. She bowed gracefully to her audience, and then turned, showing the camera her rear end and bowing once more before the shaky video ended. In the real world, three fillies stared at the “Replay?” button, each blushing furiously. The white one, though, was blushing the hardest; that drunken young mare had been her. “So…” Scootaloo finally said. “That happened.” “Yeah…” Apple Bloom agreed. “-squeak!-” went Sweetie Belle. “Heck of a thing t' come back to after a two week computer ban,” Apple Bloom said. “And I thought the worst thing to come out of the whole Cutie Mark Crusaders Cider Testers thing was the headache the morning after,” Scootaloo said. After the three had hit the age of consent, they had attempted to test cider. Unfortunately, they didn't realize that higher number of proof meant more alcohol, and that's how they found that while they were considered adults in the eyes of the law, they were still considered foolish and very groundable in the eyes of their family members. “-squeak!-” went Sweetie Belle. “At least you're a good singer?” Apple Bloom said, wrapping an arm around Sweetie Belle's shoulders to comfort her. “-squeak!-” went Sweetie Belle. Scootaloo narrowed an eye. “At least say something that's a real word, would you?” Apple Bloom frowned. “Hey, this is traumatic. If all she can do is squeak, then let her squeak!” “Um, girls?” Sweetie said, interrupting something that would likely have led to a good fight. “What?” “Look.” She pointed at the view count. Jaws dropped. “That's a really big number,” Apple Bloom said. “Last video I saw with that many likes was that cat parkour video,” Scootaloo concurred. Both quickly reached over and pulled up Sweetie's left sleeve, but the space for her cutie mark was still bare. Apple Bloom shrugged. “Well, it could have happened. Guess you can take it down now.” Sweetie moved the mouse over to the corner, right-clicked, hovered over the delete option… and hesitated. “What?” “I- it wasn't so bad,” Sweetie said. “And it got really popular…” Scootaloo snorted. “Yeah. Naked chicks get upvoted on every website. Big deal. Delete it before somepony we know sees it.” “Look at some of these comments, though. 'Best singer I've ever heard'. 'I'd buy any album she made'. 'Does she go on tour?' 'Came for the nekkid mare, stayed for the music'.” “She frowned. “I didn't have a cat; why does it say 'voice of an angel and a beautiful pussy'?” Apple Bloom coughed. “Th- that means your filly bits,” she explained. Sweetie Belle blushed again and rested a hand over her zipper. Scootaloo was still unimpressed. “So you made a bunch of perverts happy. Good for you. Now delete it before they start asking for a sequel.” “You can't really tell who I am with that lampshade on my head. And my tail was messy and didn't look like it normally does…” It suddenly dawned on her friends that she was not only unsure about deleting it, but considering making a second video. “Ya can’t be thinkin’ of showin’ your filly bits to the whole internet?” Apple Bloom asked rhetorically. Sweetie Belle didn't say anything, but she blushed even harder. “You’re thinkin’ of showin’ your filly bits to the whole internet!” She turned to Scootaloo. “She’s thinkin’ of showin' her…” “Stop saying ‘filly bits’!” Scootaloo protested. “...her… you know… to the whole internet!” “Technically, it's my vulva,” Sweetie protested quietly, but she was ignored. “Yeah, I know. It's stupid, isn't it?” Apple Bloom paused. “Well…” “You can't tell me you're on her side?” Scootaloo asked in disbelief. “Well, Ah wouldn't do it myself; but if she wants to Ah have no right t' stop her.” Sweetie Belle nodded, still blushing furiously. “I think I do,” she said. “You both are insane!” Scootaloo said, stomping a hoof. “There's no way I'm helping Sweetie Belle flash her goods to the entire internet!” *** “I can't believe I'm helping Sweetie Belle flash her goods to the entire internet,” Scootaloo grumbled. “Quit your bellyachin',” Apple Bloom said. “You're not the one performing tonight.” “There shouldn't be any performance tonight,” Scootaloo grumbled, but she adjusted the light with a wing and then turned to Sweetie. “You ready?” she asked, taking great care to not look below the hem of her shirt. Sweetie nodded, still blushing at the strange cool sensation of her current wardrobe. She placed the lampshade on her head. “How's this?” Apple Bloom nodded. “Can't see anything. You're good to go.” Sweetie swallowed nervously. Apple Bloom hit the record button and gave her a thumbs up. Sweetie then took a deep breath- And squeaked. Scootaloo busted up laughing so hard she fell out of her seat. Sweetie’s blush could be seen even below the lampshade; her entire face seemed to be almost glowing red. “M- maybe one more try,” Apple Bloom said, struggling to suppress her own laughter. Sweetie Belle managed to recover slightly, took a shuddering breath, and sang. And wow, did she sing. Even Scootaloo had to admit that she nailed the song. She bowed as she finished, and Apple Bloom turned off the camera. “That's a wrap!” she proclaimed. Apple Bloom then checked her left shoulder, but Scootaloo defiantly kept her arms crossed and her shirt sleeves down. “How do you think this one will do?” Sweetie asked as Apple Bloom began uploading it to the laptop. “Well, gee, I dunno,” Scootaloo said sarcastically. “It’s only got a barely-legal filly flashing her-” Apple Bloom elbowed Scootaloo in the ribs, making her shut up. “Ya looked great, Sweetie. You’ll double your subscribers, Ah’d bet anythin’.” *** “Triple,” Scootaloo observed dryly. “You tripled them.” “See? It’s not just for my body!” Sweetie said excitedly, pointing at some of the comments. “They’re even making requests for songs I should sing!” Scootaloo read some of the comments. “You do know that one’s about a mare cheating on her boyfriend with another mare?” Sweetie hadn’t known this. “Uh…” “That one’s about oral sex.” Or that. “Uh…” “Ooh, this is a good one! That one’s about having sex in a mall changing room while hoping not to get caught! What a classic!” Scootaloo’s sarcastic tone dropped. “They’re using you, Sweetie. You’re young, you’re hot, you’re prime material.” “Not everypony,” Apple Bloom said. “This one’s saying she’s got better voice than Sapphire Shores.” “I dunno about that,” Scootaloo said. She looked over at Sweetie Belle. “No offense.” Sweetie shrugged. “I don't know if I've heard any of her songs. I prefer showtunes,” she said. “They’ve even given her a nickname,” Apple Bloom observed, still reading the comments. “They’re callin’ her the Pantsless Wonder.” Sweetie Belle squealed in delight. Scootaloo slammed her head against the desk. “You're gonna end up regretting this, Sweetie Belle,” she warned, her voice muffled by the wood. “Oh, lighten up!” Apple Bloom chided. “I will not!” Scootaloo snapped. “Trust me. This is going to come back and bite you in the butt.” “My… naked butt?” Sweetie joked, bumping Scootaloo with her hip. Scootaloo glowered as Apple Bloom laughed. “I hate you all.” Little did any of them guess just how right Scootaloo was. Not the hating part, of course, but about the regretting part. *** Far across town, a certain light purple filly was watching a video she would never have dared watch in the company of others. Diamond Tiara's breath caught in her throat as she watched the beautiful filly dance. She was so graceful, so wondrous... Slowly, her hands drifted down towards her belt buckle, slowly loosening and then undoing it. And then she froze. She quickly skipped back in the video and paused it. Her eyes widened. The image was low quality and it had only been in a couple frames, but it was enough. Sure enough, she knew she had recognized the bottom of that poster. It was the same one hanging in the CMC clubhouse. That meant the Pantsless Wonder was one of three fillies. Apple Bloom had that awful, grating accent, and Scootaloo's singing sounded somewhat like a pig squealing, so that left only one option. Her first thought was one of disgust. She'd gotten all hot and bothered about one of those losers? Sweetie Belle was the one who had been in her dreams all this past week? It was Sweetie Belle's fault she'd had to change her panties twice yesterday? Eww! Double eww! But then she smiled, and her eyes narrowed. Maybe she could work with this. BlackmailSitting at the picnic table all by herself, Sweetie exhaled despondently and slowly rolled the marble back and forth between her hooves. She heard hoofsteps behind her, and she looked up to see a filly coming her way. Luckily, this one was friendly. “You ok?” Twist asked. “You look kindof lonely.” “Yeah. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom are out of town.” She sighed. “I've never been alone like this before. It's weird.” “Alone'th not tho bad,” Twist said. “You get uthed to it after a while.” She made as though she were about to sit down, but another pony approached. This one was not so friendly. “Hey, Sweetie Belle,” Diamond Tiara's unmistakable voice cut through the conversation like hooves on a chalkboard. “Twist, you were just leaving, weren't you?” “No, I jutht got here,” Twist said. “No, you're leaving. Go away, Twist.” Twist paused. “I thought we were friendth,” she said hesitantly. “We are. That's why you're going away.” Twist scrunched up her nose, clearly thinking that something about this didn't seem right, but she slowly nodded and walked away anyway. Diamond turned back to Sweetie, and she had the impression that she was about to become prey. “So, Sweetie… Seen any good videos lately?” “What do you mean?” Sweetie asked, hoping her blush would remain hidden. “I saw a very interesting video last night, actually. It was a mare, singing.” “Lots of ponies like singing,” Sweetie protested. “Yes, but this mare wasn't wearing pants. And it was set in a very familiar place.” Sweetie's blush was now far from hidden. “W- was it now?” “Very familiar. In fact, it was in that dingy little clubhouse at Sweet Apple Acres.” “No it wasn't! I mean… uh…” Diamond smiled. “I wonder what Cheerilee would say if she knew… one of her own students…” Sweetie looked around, hoping desperately that nopony else was hearing this. “No, please! I- I'll do anything!” Sweetie pleaded. Diamond smiled. “Then come to my house, alone, on Friday night after six. Dinner's at five thirty, though, so don't come before then.” Sweetie hesitantly nodded, and Diamond flounced away. *** Sweetie Belle paced desperately on the doorstep, but no ideas came to mind. She simply couldn't think of any way out of this. Precisely at six o'clock, she sighed in defeat, closed her eyes, lifted her hand (which felt abnormally heavy), and knocked on the door. In a few moments, Filthy Rich himself opened the door, and seemed taken aback that the filly standing there wasn't Silver Spoon. “Yes?” he asked. “Hi,” Sweetie squeaked. “I'm Sweetie Belle. Can Diamond play?” Filthy's eyes brightened. “Yes, of course! Diamond!” he called up the stairs. “One of your friends is here!” Diamond stepped gracefully down the stairs, but the smile she shot at Sweetie Belle was anything but benevolent. Filthy, ignorant of this, continued, “I'm sorry, you just missed dinner; but I'm certain I could…” “That's ok. I'm not that hungry anyway,” Sweetie said truthfully. Her stomach felt all tied up in knots and she couldn't have eaten anything even if she'd wanted to. “Very well. It's nice to see my little Diamond making new friends.” “Yeah,” Sweetie said with a flimsy smile as she followed Diamond upstairs. “Friends.” *** Upon reaching her room, Diamond locked the door behind her and flung herself onto the enormous four-poster bed, which was so large it would easily have fit Sweetie's whole family; even Rarity, who tended to go to sleep all ladylike but wake up sprawled out like a seastar. “I assume you know why you're here?” Diamond said. “I'm really hoping it's for a tea party and makeovers?” Sweetie said hopefully, interlacing her fingers in a pleading gesture. Diamond laughed. It was high and mocking in tone. “No. Of course not. I want you to put on a show for me. In your standard uniform, of course.“ Sweetie's eyes widened. “You mean…” “Yep. Drop your pants.” Sweetie Belle bit her lower lip. She'd taken her pants off and sang a few times now, but it was still weird doing it in front of a pony she knew and would see every day, and one that didn't like her at all, no less. And at the clubhouse she'd always had her lampshade to hide her face. Here, she didn't. “I'm waiting.” Sweetie slowly undid her belt buckle and slid her pants down. Diamond giggled at the frilly panties she was wearing underneath. “They're comfy,” Sweetie protested lamely as she stepped out of her pants. “They're coming off,” Diamond insisted. Sweetie soon stood bottomless in front of her tormentor. “D- do you have any requests?” Sweetie stammered. “Just one,” Diamond said. “Take it all off.” “I don't think I know that o- What?” Sweetie Belle squeaked. “You heard me. I want to see you completely naked.” Sweetie blushed and held her arms over her chest. “I- I don't wanna,” she whimpered. Taking off her pants in front of Diamond Tiara had been bad enough; she wanted to keep what little dignity she had. Diamond sighed. “I guess you'll just have to deal with everypony in school knowing you're the Pantsless Wonder,” she said with a shrug. “And don't even think about trying to hide it because we both know you'll just blush and confirm it when I accuse you.” Sweetie Belle whimpered again, and then she brought her hands up to the top button of her blouse. *** “She made you sing naked?” Scootaloo demanded. “For almost two hours,” Sweetie Belle nodded, her reddened face still planted firmly on the table. She hadn't stopped blushing since she'd arrived at school, but no matter how hard Apple Bloom and Scootaloo had tried, she hadn't been able to bring herself to talk about her experience until after school. “Ah can't believe she did that!” Apple Bloom fumed. “Waitin' 'til we were gone to take advantage of Sweetie Belle. That's just dirty! If Ah'd've been there she would've thought twice about that.” She pounded a fist into an open palm for emphasis. Diamond chose this moment to walk… nay, strut on by. Sweetie flushed again and desperately hoped that she would ignore her, but Diamond turned and gave her a devious smile. “See you this Friday night, Sweetie!” She paused. “You are coming, right? Silvey and I are going to be waiting for you.” Sweetie blushed as Diamond giggled maliciously. “Of course you are. Wouldn't want any… secrets slipping out, now, would we?” Still giggling as Sweetie buried her face again, she turned and walked away. “Yeah,” Scootaloo growled as soon as she was out of sight, “she's not getting away with this. Not if I have anything to say about it.” That was enough to make Sweetie look up. “I thought you didn't like me doing this?” she asked. “I don't,” Scootaloo said bluntly. “I think it's dumb, and I think you’re dumb for enjoying it as much as you do. But you're my friend, and I'm going to do whatever I can to make this…” She almost said 'right', but realized that that wasn't quite the word she was looking for. “Uh… as right as I can, given the circumstances.” Scootaloo's grin turned menacing. “Ok, here's what we're gonna do…” Avenged“And you know your lines?” Scootaloo asked. “As good as they're getting,” Sweetie said, adjusting the pink shirt she wore. It was a little bit big on her, but not too big. Then again, it was actually Diamond Tiara's shirt that Scootaloo had stolen from her room, so there was a good explanation for that. “All right. Into position.” Apple Bloom watched as Sweetie's… er… filly bits came into focus. “And… action!” Sweetie paused long enough to give the camera a good look before sitting down. “Hello, internet!” she said cheerfully. “Pantsless Wonder here. I've been getting lots of mail from all my fans and so I figured I'd make a video answering some of the questions I've gotten.” She pulled up some notecards with questions on them. It was slightly awkward for her to read them, as she had a lampshade over her eyes, but then again she's memorized the lines anyway. “This one I've gotten a lot. 'Hey Pantsless, what's your policy on private shows?' I'm open to negotiation; but I gotta warn ya, something this good-” here she gestured playfully at her body “-doesn't come cheap.” She winked cheekily as she flipped to the next card. “'Are you really Silver Song?'” She giggled. “No, I'm not. And I'm not going to answer any questions like this one. I'll just say that I'm not who you think I am. I don't sound like this normally, and I even-” here she began beating at the fur on her forearm, releasing a white powder, “dye my fur,” she finished. “That's why I take so long to make my videos. I don't just drop my pants and find my lampshade and sing, after all. That's why I wear a shirt, you know? To hide my cutie mark. And no, I'm not showing you my cutie mark.” She flipped to the next card. “'Do you have lots of friends in real life?' I have something better! I have all of you online fans!” She laughed. “Ok, yes. Don't tell her I told this, but I do have one really, really good friend. She's an earth pony, like me. I tell her everything, and we do everything together. Braid each other's hair, talk about colts…” She paused, scuffing her hand against the chair nervously, “and maybe possibly in my case, fillies… uh… we poke fun at ponies without their cutie marks yet, we just have a great time together!” Scootaloo grinned. Having found some magazines under Diamond's bed that left no doubt about her orientation was just icing on the cake. *** Filthy Rich paused. Didn't his daughter have a shirt like that? And an earth pony best friend? How long had it been since he’d last seen her, anyway? *** In another room in the same house, Diamond Tiara could only stare in abject horror as Sweetie Belle continued answering questions and giving answers that made her vaguely sound like Diamond herself. Right now anypony from their class who was watching (and she was more than a bit certain that their class happened to be full of perverts) would be thinking of Diamond Tiara. The coup de grace came unexpectedly. “She even forgave me when I broke her glasses in gym class in third grade!” Diamond shrieked and slammed the laptop shut. Anypony who had been there in the school would have remembered that, even though it sounded intensely personal. She needed to think of something good to shut Sweetie up… and fast. *** Diamond Tiara refused to look at any of the crusaders the next day, which they all considered to be a positive thing. She didn’t even have Silver Spoon throw scraps of paper at Apple Bloom’s bow, so she must have been really rattled at Scootaloo’s plan. The uneasy peace lasted until about first recess. Surprisingly, it was not Diamond who drew first blood. Archer snickered as she passed Diamond. “So, I’m glad to see you’re wearing pants today,” she said. Diamond jumped. “What?” Pipsqueak chimed in next. “Nice try, Diamond Tiara; but we know it’s you.” “It’s not! Who, the Pantsless Wonder?” “I knew it!” Snips proclaimed, pointing a finger accusingly. “It is you!” “No, it isn't! I swear! I can’t even sing!” Diamond protested. “That’s exactly what PW would say to hide her tracks!” Snails proclaimed triumphantly. “No! I- I’ll prove it!” “But Diamond, you can't sing,” Silver Spoon hurriedly pointed out. “Exactly!” And she turned to the crowd, opened her mouth, and proved just that. Apple Bloom covered her ears. She was certain she'd heard cats in heat that sounded better. Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle could only stare in a mixture of delight and horror as Diamond Tiara made a complete idiot out of herself. Somewhere in the distance, a dog began to howl as if in pain, alley cats yowled and fled, and flocks of birds flew away, chirping as though a terrifying predator was after them. Sweetie Belle giggled. “Eh,” Snips shrugged. “I still think she's faking.” “She could drop 'er drawers and we can check that way,” Pipsqueak suggested. This earned him a well-deserved slap upside the head. “Are you insane?” Diamond demanded. “I'm not showing you my privates!” “Why not?” Snails asked. “It's pretty!” The surrounding ponies murmured an enthusiastic agreement. “What?” Diamond nearly shrieked. Twist, with her powers of social ineptitude, chose to answer. “It'th probably a combination of your small labia minor, plump labia major, perfect combinathion of pudge without being too fat and your perfectly thaved…” Her voice trailed off as she realized ponies were staring. She cleared her throat. “It'th theckthi?” she tried. “That's a test,” Snips said brightly. “Do you shave your pubes?” “Oh, come on!” Diamond said, grasping at straws. “Everypony shaves their downstairs! Featherweight? Dinky? I bet even Twist does it!” Twist flushed about the color of her mane. She looked down, scuffed a hoof on the ground, and mumbled something about liking it when the carpet matcheth the drapeth. “Ugh!” Diamond shrieked for real this time. “You’re all insane!” Archer stepped in front of Twist. “Your misdirections won't work this time, Tiara,” she said accusingly. “We know it's you!” “It's not!” Unseen by any of them, the three crusaders had slunk away, out of sight of the crowd. Scootaloo nudged Sweetie Belle. “Does it not bother you any that it’s actually your filly bi-” She paused, then turned and whacked Apple Bloom on the back of her head. “Dang it! Now you’ve got me saying it!” She turned back to Sweetie Belle. “That it’s actually your vagina they’re talking about?” “Vulva,” Sweetie corrected. “Vulva’s the exterior genitalia; vagina is the inner canal.” “Gah!” Scootaloo grumbled, throwing her hands into the air. “You know what I mean! Question still stands!” “I dunno,” Sweetie said. “It’s… kindof nice.” Her voice trailed off, mumbling something that sounded vaguely like “feels kindof good”. Scootaloo’s eyes narrowed. “You need serious help, Sweetie Belle. Serious help.” ConsequencesSweetie finished the song and then bowed, turning around in all directions as if she was in front of a large audience. Apple Bloom gave her a thumbs up and made to turn off the camera, but Sweetie shook her head slightly. She stepped forward and began speaking normally. “So next week is April Foal's Day,” she said, “and for my 'prank', I won't be performing bottomless. Hope you like me for my singing and not just the show I put on!” She made the 'cut' motion with a hand over her throat, and Apple Bloom turned off the camera. “So you're done?” Scootaloo said, sounding a bit more excited than she should have been. Sweetie giggled as she pulled off her lampshade. “Actually, I had another idea…” *** Scootaloo's face was roughly the shade of an apple as she finished applying the pasty to her friend's chest. Apple Bloom watched from a safe distance. She'd won the best of nine Rock Paper Scissors tournament, and was enjoying her prize of not being the one to do it. It also didn't help that Sweetie's figure wasn't what it used to be. “How did you get Rarity to agree to cast this spell, anyway?” Scootaloo complained. Sweetie paused. “Well…” “Please, Rarity?” Sweetie pleaded. “You know it's temporary, like only a couple hours; and I just want to feel sexy like you for one night.” Rarity looked down at her own chest and couldn't help but smile. While the quality of a lady was definitely not dependent on her cup size, it certainly didn't hurt. “I suppose it would be all right,” she said, lighting her horn. “I just asked,” Sweetie said with a shrug. “She only gave me one size bigger, but that should be enough.” “I'm already seeing more of your boobs than I want to,” Scootaloo groused before stepping back. “You're done.” Sweetie grinned as she pulled her lampshade over her head. “Then let's get started.” *** “Turns out your whole body is popular,” Scootaloo remarked dryly as she looked at the results of Sweetie's 'prank'. Sweetie Belle couldn’t help but smile widely as she counted and recounted the number of likes. She’d never imagined this would turn out like this! “Look, Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo said. “I’m thinking with a great video like this, it’s time to, you know, hang up your lampshade.” “Are you kidding?” Sweetie demanded. “This is only the beginning!” Scootaloo sighed and let her head fall to hit the desk. “You’re going to regret this, too,” she warned. “What happens when something comes up that I can’t get you out of?” Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Like that’s gonna happen,” she said. *** There was a knock on the boutique door, and Sweetie, being closest, answered it. When she did, her jaw dropped. There stood two royal guards. 'They've found me,' Sweetie thought. 'I'm going to go to jail!' She began to hyperventilate. The guard didn’t seem to notice as he pulled out a small scroll and compared the image on it with the mare in front of him. Satisfied, he nodded curtly and spoke. “Sweetie Belle of Ponyville, you are being summoned. Celestia herself wishes to speak with you.” Sweetie's heart dropped to somewhere below the Ponyville watertable. “A- are you sure it's me she's looking for?” she stammered. “Quite sure.” Now hyperventilating at full force, Sweetie decided that it would be best to come clean. “Y- yes, that's me.” “Good.” The guard couldn't help but chuckle at her nervous shuddering reaction. “Breathe, filly; it's just a friendly meeting. You're not under arrest or in trouble or anything; it's a friendly meeting. Get in the cart, please.” Sweetie was somewhat comforted when she saw that it was an open sleigh, and not a caged prisoner transport. She climbed on and when they were certain she was buckled in safely, the guards harnessed themselves in and they all flew towards Canterlot. *** In the great hall, Sweetie Belle stood before Celestia herself. She quivered uncontrollably as Celestia shuffled through some paperwork. Oh, why hadn't she listened to Scootaloo and just deleted that first video? Celestia began with a warm smile. “Miss Sweetie Belle. Do you know why you're here?” As she wasn’t shouting or ordering Sweetie to be chained to the floor, Sweetie was starting to get the impression that she was not in trouble, but figured she’d probably better ask. “Not really,” she said truthfully. “Am I in trouble?” Celestia laughed lightly. “Of course not! Youre here because I have a special invitation for you, and I wished to deliver it in person. How would you like to sing at the biggest party in Canterlot?” Sweetie's jaw dropped. “M- me?” she stammered. “Yes. I'd like you to open the Grand Galloping Gala by singing the Equestrian Hymn. You know it, I assume?” “Of course,” Sweetie Belle said, somewhat in shock. She had no idea what this gala was, but it sounded exciting. “It's the national anthem. I hear it every weekend with my dad. He's a real football fan. He loves the Chargers.” Celestia smiled knowingly. “Then, seeing how their series is going, he is indeed a true fan… but that's a conversation for another time.” She lit her horn and held out the invitation. “This will get you in, as well as describe your duties and responsibilities, but it's all fairly simple and self-explanatory.” Sweetie screwed up her face and lit her horn, but it sparked and fizzled out. Smiling sheepishly, she reached out a hand to take it, and stuck it in her saddlebag. Celestia continued, “I suppose it goes without saying that for this occasion, it would be best if you wear a dress that goes below the level of your waist. I believe one designed by your sister would be more than sufficient. And leave any lampshades at home, please; these ponies want to see your smiling face.” The blood drained completely from Sweetie's definitely not-smiling face, and she could only stare, horrified, as Celestia winked at her. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I simply must get started on all this paperwork. Budgets and invitations won't make themselves, you know, and Luna simply refuses to help.” She paused, glancing up and looking at nothing. “I think she's still somewhat bitter about her banishment. But I can't blame her.” Her smile returned as she looked back at Sweetie Belle. “I trust you can see yourself out?” Sweetie nodded numbly and she turned to leave. *** Scootaloo waved a hoof in front of Sweetie's face, but she didn't respond. She just sat there, staring blankly at the wall, a piece of paper still clenched in her hand. “She's been like this since she returned from Canterlot,” Rarity said, “but she won't speak about it.” Scootaloo poked her friend in the forehead, but Sweetie didn't respond. She continued poking repeatedly until Apple Bloom swatted her hand away. Rarity gently massaged her sister's shoulders. “Could you watch her while I continue to work? I have a large order that must be done tomorrow.” Apple Bloom saluted sharply, and Rarity hesitantly left, looking back once at Sweetie before leaving the room completely. “I dunno what we can do,” Scootaloo said, resuming her poking. “Canterlot is a big place. Celestia knows what Sweetie…” “She does!” Sweetie squeaked suddenly, making both of them jump. “What?” “Celestia knows I'm the Pantsless Wonder!” Sweetie hissed. “Oh,” Apple Bloom said. “Awkward.” “Ah, well,” Scootaloo said. “'Ah, well'?” Sweetie squeaked. “She knows my sister! She knows all my friends! She could blow this thing wide open!” “Calm down. For all you know, she's a fan of your show,” Apple Bloom shrugged. Scootaloo raised her hand. “Am I the only one who thinks that would be terrifyingly disturbing?” she asked. She was ignored. “Is that why she called you up to Canterlot? To tell you to cut it out?” “No, she wants me to sing the Equestrian Hymn at the Grand Galloping Gala next month!” “That sounds great!” Apple Bloom cheered. “What does that mean?” Sweetie shrugged. “I dunno.” “Bet Rarity does,” Scootaloo suggested. Sweetie brightened. “Yeah! Let's go tell Rarity! I bet she'll be so excited!” *** “Faintin' 's a sign of excitement, right?” Apple Bloom asked, nudging Rarity's unconscious, supine frame with a hoof. “Yeah, normally; but that 'nooooo!' before she fainted probably cancels that out,” Scootaloo said with just the barest hint of sarcasm. Sweetie Belle fought to put on a smile. “She's probably just overreacting. She does that sometimes. It might not be so bad.” Closure“That was even worse than I'd feared,” Sweetie Belle groaned. Even the loveliness of new dresses had not succeeded in overcoming just how awful rhe Gala itself had been. “Yeah. That was boring beyond the most boring thing I've ever done. I'm pretty sure I was bored out of my skull. Here, check if it's still in my head.” She leaned over, and Apple Bloom knocked gently on her temple. “Yep. Still there.” “Thank goodness. Look, I don't know about you girls, but I've gotta do something else tonight. Something that won't make me want to gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon.” She snorted. “Guess this is why Rainbow was less than thrilled about coming back.” “You any good at karaoke?” Scootaloo gave Apple Bloom an askance look. “That's out of left field,” she said. Apple Bloom jerked her head towards a bar with neon lights flashing out 'Karaoke night!'. “What d' you girls think?” Sweetie and Scootaloo came to a quick consensus. “Let's do it!” *** It took a while to get inside, and then even longer to get to the front of the line, but finally they managed it. “What do you want to sing?” Scootaloo asked, looking over the setlist. “I dunno. Surprise me!” Sweetie said. Scootaloo flipped through the book and grinned. “Here's a fun one. It's a killer rock ballad!” Sweetie looked over the words and grinned. “Yeah. Let's do that one.” The DJ raised an eyebrow. “That one's got a bit of a range; you sure you can do that?” “Don't worry. I can sing the Equestrian Hymn and it has a wider range.” The DJ shrugged and placed the record on the turntable. “All right. You're on deck.” When the current song (being sung by a stallion who probably had been drinking more than just water) ended, Sweetie Belle got on stage. She bowed as she got some whistling and catcalls from her fancy dress, and then the song began. And Sweetie sang. When she'd finished, she bowed to thunderous applause. She blushed; it really seemed all too much. She barely heard her friends screaming her name, and she looked down. “Pretty good, huh?” she said. “You did it!” Scootaloo yelled, tugging at her own sleeve. “Check yourself out!” Sweetie frowned, but looked down at her shoulder anyway. Her eyes widened. “My cutie mark!” *** “So Rarity ended up taking it ok.” Sweetie grimaced. “Maybe a little too ok… She started making new outfits for me and was up all night, making me try things on.” “All with pants, I assume?” Scootaloo teased. “Yeah, but they're pretty revealing, and all very spiky.” Her cheeks tinged with red. “I like the way they make me feel.” Scootaloo facepalmed. “You need help, Sweetie Belle. Professional help.” “Anyway…” Sweetie steeled herself for what she was about to say. “I think it's time to put the Pantsless Wonder to rest,” she said. “About time!” cheered Scootaloo. “Why? You loved bein' the Pantsless Wonder!” “Yeah; but I'm thinking it's time to move on. Besides, it wouldn't go so well with my actual singing career.” “Guess you're right,” Apple Bloom said. “You've got a good song for your great farewell?” “I'm going to do a medley,” Sweetie said. “I'm going to sing-” She was cut off with a squeak as Scootaloo grabbed both her friends and began pulling them towards the clubhouse. “I don't really care. Let's go film!” *** Sweetie stepped out of her pants and turned to fluff up her tail. Scootaloo fiddled with the camera as Apple Bloom set up the laptop. When Sweetie was convinced that her tail was unrecognizable, she turned over to her friends. “So, you want to join me in my last video?” “Heck no!” Scootaloo laughed. “I'm just glad to be done with th-” But that's as far as she got, because Apple Bloom, with a wink at Sweetie Belle, had sneaked over and in one quick motion, she pantsed Scootaloo, panties and all. She had definitely picked the wrong day to wear basketball shorts. Scootaloo gasped and desperately scrambled to pull her pants up, but it was too late; her friends had seen, and they were both shocked into silence. “I… I thought only colts had those,” Sweetie Belle said hesitantly. “Yeah, well,” Scootaloo said, her face quickly turning the shade of Apple Bloom's apple belt buckle as she tied the strings rightly around her waist. “Usually, yes. But I'm a lucky one in seventeen hundred thousand that gets both sets.” Sweetie paused. “Can I see?” “No!” Scootaloo shouted, blushing even harder. She turned to run out the clubhouse door, but Sweetie Belle grabbed her around the neck and pulled her into a tight (and somewhat unwelcome) hug. Scootaloo struggled, but Sweetie didn't let go. “It's ok, Scootaloo; we still like you! Don't we, Apple Bloom?” “Yeah,” Apple Bloom said, but with more hesitance in her voice. “It's ok, you're still our friend.” “Really?” Scootaloo asked, relaxing slightly. “You still like me? You don't think I'm a freak because I have a…” She pointed down towards below her waist. “Nope!” Sweetie Belle said. “In fact, I think it's pretty cute.” Scootaloo blushed again, but this time not from embarrassment. “R- really? Cute?” she asked. “Yeah,” Sweetie said. “Really really.” She spun Scootaloo around and without warning, kissed her on the lips. Scootaloo's ears flicked up in surprise and her wings flared out, and she stood there for a few seconds as she tried to force her brain to respond. Eventually, it did; and she relaxed into the kiss and pushed back with her tongue, something Sweetie Belle happily accepted. Apple Bloom watched in horror as her two best friends (one of whom was still not wearing pants) made out with each other. “Ok, this is just messed up,” she said. “There's no way any of this can actually be happening.” And she was right. Author's Note Happy April Fool's Day, everypony.
DiscoveryThe young white filly danced, swaying her hips as she sang loudly. There was no music playing, but that didn’t matter to her. Her voice was strong, her delivery smooth, and she hit all the high notes perfectly. There were only a few things wrong with this picture. The third biggest thing was the fact that her style of dancing indicated that she might have been somewhat intoxicated. This was also indicated by the second biggest thing wrong, the fact that she was wearing a lampshade on her head that completely obscured her face and mane. The first biggest thing wrong? She wasn’t wearing pants. As if completely unconcerned with this fact, she continued to sing, really getting into the music; swinging her head, moving her shoulders, and, of course, rocking her hips. She finished strong on the last note and at least two other fillies cheered drunkenly as well. She bowed gracefully to her audience, and then turned, showing the camera her rear end and bowing once more before the shaky video ended. In the real world, three fillies stared at the “Replay?” button, each blushing furiously. The white one, though, was blushing the hardest; that drunken young mare had been her. “So…” Scootaloo finally said. “That happened.” “Yeah…” Apple Bloom agreed. “-squeak!-” went Sweetie Belle. “Heck of a thing t' come back to after a two week computer ban,” Apple Bloom said. “And I thought the worst thing to come out of the whole Cutie Mark Crusaders Cider Testers thing was the headache the morning after,” Scootaloo said. After the three had hit the age of consent, they had attempted to test cider. Unfortunately, they didn't realize that higher number of proof meant more alcohol, and that's how they found that while they were considered adults in the eyes of the law, they were still considered foolish and very groundable in the eyes of their family members. “-squeak!-” went Sweetie Belle. “At least you're a good singer?” Apple Bloom said, wrapping an arm around Sweetie Belle's shoulders to comfort her. “-squeak!-” went Sweetie Belle. Scootaloo narrowed an eye. “At least say something that's a real word, would you?” Apple Bloom frowned. “Hey, this is traumatic. If all she can do is squeak, then let her squeak!” “Um, girls?” Sweetie said, interrupting something that would likely have led to a good fight. “What?” “Look.” She pointed at the view count. Jaws dropped. “That's a really big number,” Apple Bloom said. “Last video I saw with that many likes was that cat parkour video,” Scootaloo concurred. Both quickly reached over and pulled up Sweetie's left sleeve, but the space for her cutie mark was still bare. Apple Bloom shrugged. “Well, it could have happened. Guess you can take it down now.” Sweetie moved the mouse over to the corner, right-clicked, hovered over the delete option… and hesitated. “What?” “I- it wasn't so bad,” Sweetie said. “And it got really popular…” Scootaloo snorted. “Yeah. Naked chicks get upvoted on every website. Big deal. Delete it before somepony we know sees it.” “Look at some of these comments, though. 'Best singer I've ever heard'. 'I'd buy any album she made'. 'Does she go on tour?' 'Came for the nekkid mare, stayed for the music'.” “She frowned. “I didn't have a cat; why does it say 'voice of an angel and a beautiful pussy'?” Apple Bloom coughed. “Th- that means your filly bits,” she explained. Sweetie Belle blushed again and rested a hand over her zipper. Scootaloo was still unimpressed. “So you made a bunch of perverts happy. Good for you. Now delete it before they start asking for a sequel.” “You can't really tell who I am with that lampshade on my head. And my tail was messy and didn't look like it normally does…” It suddenly dawned on her friends that she was not only unsure about deleting it, but considering making a second video. “Ya can’t be thinkin’ of showin’ your filly bits to the whole internet?” Apple Bloom asked rhetorically. Sweetie Belle didn't say anything, but she blushed even harder. “You’re thinkin’ of showin’ your filly bits to the whole internet!” She turned to Scootaloo. “She’s thinkin’ of showin' her…” “Stop saying ‘filly bits’!” Scootaloo protested. “...her… you know… to the whole internet!” “Technically, it's my vulva,” Sweetie protested quietly, but she was ignored. “Yeah, I know. It's stupid, isn't it?” Apple Bloom paused. “Well…” “You can't tell me you're on her side?” Scootaloo asked in disbelief. “Well, Ah wouldn't do it myself; but if she wants to Ah have no right t' stop her.” Sweetie Belle nodded, still blushing furiously. “I think I do,” she said. “You both are insane!” Scootaloo said, stomping a hoof. “There's no way I'm helping Sweetie Belle flash her goods to the entire internet!” *** “I can't believe I'm helping Sweetie Belle flash her goods to the entire internet,” Scootaloo grumbled. “Quit your bellyachin',” Apple Bloom said. “You're not the one performing tonight.” “There shouldn't be any performance tonight,” Scootaloo grumbled, but she adjusted the light with a wing and then turned to Sweetie. “You ready?” she asked, taking great care to not look below the hem of her shirt. Sweetie nodded, still blushing at the strange cool sensation of her current wardrobe. She placed the lampshade on her head. “How's this?” Apple Bloom nodded. “Can't see anything. You're good to go.” Sweetie swallowed nervously. Apple Bloom hit the record button and gave her a thumbs up. Sweetie then took a deep breath- And squeaked. Scootaloo busted up laughing so hard she fell out of her seat. Sweetie’s blush could be seen even below the lampshade; her entire face seemed to be almost glowing red. “M- maybe one more try,” Apple Bloom said, struggling to suppress her own laughter. Sweetie Belle managed to recover slightly, took a shuddering breath, and sang. And wow, did she sing. Even Scootaloo had to admit that she nailed the song. She bowed as she finished, and Apple Bloom turned off the camera. “That's a wrap!” she proclaimed. Apple Bloom then checked her left shoulder, but Scootaloo defiantly kept her arms crossed and her shirt sleeves down. “How do you think this one will do?” Sweetie asked as Apple Bloom began uploading it to the laptop. “Well, gee, I dunno,” Scootaloo said sarcastically. “It’s only got a barely-legal filly flashing her-” Apple Bloom elbowed Scootaloo in the ribs, making her shut up. “Ya looked great, Sweetie. You’ll double your subscribers, Ah’d bet anythin’.” *** “Triple,” Scootaloo observed dryly. “You tripled them.” “See? It’s not just for my body!” Sweetie said excitedly, pointing at some of the comments. “They’re even making requests for songs I should sing!” Scootaloo read some of the comments. “You do know that one’s about a mare cheating on her boyfriend with another mare?” Sweetie hadn’t known this. “Uh…” “That one’s about oral sex.” Or that. “Uh…” “Ooh, this is a good one! That one’s about having sex in a mall changing room while hoping not to get caught! What a classic!” Scootaloo’s sarcastic tone dropped. “They’re using you, Sweetie. You’re young, you’re hot, you’re prime material.” “Not everypony,” Apple Bloom said. “This one’s saying she’s got better voice than Sapphire Shores.” “I dunno about that,” Scootaloo said. She looked over at Sweetie Belle. “No offense.” Sweetie shrugged. “I don't know if I've heard any of her songs. I prefer showtunes,” she said. “They’ve even given her a nickname,” Apple Bloom observed, still reading the comments. “They’re callin’ her the Pantsless Wonder.” Sweetie Belle squealed in delight. Scootaloo slammed her head against the desk. “You're gonna end up regretting this, Sweetie Belle,” she warned, her voice muffled by the wood. “Oh, lighten up!” Apple Bloom chided. “I will not!” Scootaloo snapped. “Trust me. This is going to come back and bite you in the butt.” “My… naked butt?” Sweetie joked, bumping Scootaloo with her hip. Scootaloo glowered as Apple Bloom laughed. “I hate you all.” Little did any of them guess just how right Scootaloo was. Not the hating part, of course, but about the regretting part. *** Far across town, a certain light purple filly was watching a video she would never have dared watch in the company of others. Diamond Tiara's breath caught in her throat as she watched the beautiful filly dance. She was so graceful, so wondrous... Slowly, her hands drifted down towards her belt buckle, slowly loosening and then undoing it. And then she froze. She quickly skipped back in the video and paused it. Her eyes widened. The image was low quality and it had only been in a couple frames, but it was enough. Sure enough, she knew she had recognized the bottom of that poster. It was the same one hanging in the CMC clubhouse. That meant the Pantsless Wonder was one of three fillies. Apple Bloom had that awful, grating accent, and Scootaloo's singing sounded somewhat like a pig squealing, so that left only one option. Her first thought was one of disgust. She'd gotten all hot and bothered about one of those losers? Sweetie Belle was the one who had been in her dreams all this past week? It was Sweetie Belle's fault she'd had to change her panties twice yesterday? Eww! Double eww! But then she smiled, and her eyes narrowed. Maybe she could work with this.
BlackmailSitting at the picnic table all by herself, Sweetie exhaled despondently and slowly rolled the marble back and forth between her hooves. She heard hoofsteps behind her, and she looked up to see a filly coming her way. Luckily, this one was friendly. “You ok?” Twist asked. “You look kindof lonely.” “Yeah. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom are out of town.” She sighed. “I've never been alone like this before. It's weird.” “Alone'th not tho bad,” Twist said. “You get uthed to it after a while.” She made as though she were about to sit down, but another pony approached. This one was not so friendly. “Hey, Sweetie Belle,” Diamond Tiara's unmistakable voice cut through the conversation like hooves on a chalkboard. “Twist, you were just leaving, weren't you?” “No, I jutht got here,” Twist said. “No, you're leaving. Go away, Twist.” Twist paused. “I thought we were friendth,” she said hesitantly. “We are. That's why you're going away.” Twist scrunched up her nose, clearly thinking that something about this didn't seem right, but she slowly nodded and walked away anyway. Diamond turned back to Sweetie, and she had the impression that she was about to become prey. “So, Sweetie… Seen any good videos lately?” “What do you mean?” Sweetie asked, hoping her blush would remain hidden. “I saw a very interesting video last night, actually. It was a mare, singing.” “Lots of ponies like singing,” Sweetie protested. “Yes, but this mare wasn't wearing pants. And it was set in a very familiar place.” Sweetie's blush was now far from hidden. “W- was it now?” “Very familiar. In fact, it was in that dingy little clubhouse at Sweet Apple Acres.” “No it wasn't! I mean… uh…” Diamond smiled. “I wonder what Cheerilee would say if she knew… one of her own students…” Sweetie looked around, hoping desperately that nopony else was hearing this. “No, please! I- I'll do anything!” Sweetie pleaded. Diamond smiled. “Then come to my house, alone, on Friday night after six. Dinner's at five thirty, though, so don't come before then.” Sweetie hesitantly nodded, and Diamond flounced away. *** Sweetie Belle paced desperately on the doorstep, but no ideas came to mind. She simply couldn't think of any way out of this. Precisely at six o'clock, she sighed in defeat, closed her eyes, lifted her hand (which felt abnormally heavy), and knocked on the door. In a few moments, Filthy Rich himself opened the door, and seemed taken aback that the filly standing there wasn't Silver Spoon. “Yes?” he asked. “Hi,” Sweetie squeaked. “I'm Sweetie Belle. Can Diamond play?” Filthy's eyes brightened. “Yes, of course! Diamond!” he called up the stairs. “One of your friends is here!” Diamond stepped gracefully down the stairs, but the smile she shot at Sweetie Belle was anything but benevolent. Filthy, ignorant of this, continued, “I'm sorry, you just missed dinner; but I'm certain I could…” “That's ok. I'm not that hungry anyway,” Sweetie said truthfully. Her stomach felt all tied up in knots and she couldn't have eaten anything even if she'd wanted to. “Very well. It's nice to see my little Diamond making new friends.” “Yeah,” Sweetie said with a flimsy smile as she followed Diamond upstairs. “Friends.” *** Upon reaching her room, Diamond locked the door behind her and flung herself onto the enormous four-poster bed, which was so large it would easily have fit Sweetie's whole family; even Rarity, who tended to go to sleep all ladylike but wake up sprawled out like a seastar. “I assume you know why you're here?” Diamond said. “I'm really hoping it's for a tea party and makeovers?” Sweetie said hopefully, interlacing her fingers in a pleading gesture. Diamond laughed. It was high and mocking in tone. “No. Of course not. I want you to put on a show for me. In your standard uniform, of course.“ Sweetie's eyes widened. “You mean…” “Yep. Drop your pants.” Sweetie Belle bit her lower lip. She'd taken her pants off and sang a few times now, but it was still weird doing it in front of a pony she knew and would see every day, and one that didn't like her at all, no less. And at the clubhouse she'd always had her lampshade to hide her face. Here, she didn't. “I'm waiting.” Sweetie slowly undid her belt buckle and slid her pants down. Diamond giggled at the frilly panties she was wearing underneath. “They're comfy,” Sweetie protested lamely as she stepped out of her pants. “They're coming off,” Diamond insisted. Sweetie soon stood bottomless in front of her tormentor. “D- do you have any requests?” Sweetie stammered. “Just one,” Diamond said. “Take it all off.” “I don't think I know that o- What?” Sweetie Belle squeaked. “You heard me. I want to see you completely naked.” Sweetie blushed and held her arms over her chest. “I- I don't wanna,” she whimpered. Taking off her pants in front of Diamond Tiara had been bad enough; she wanted to keep what little dignity she had. Diamond sighed. “I guess you'll just have to deal with everypony in school knowing you're the Pantsless Wonder,” she said with a shrug. “And don't even think about trying to hide it because we both know you'll just blush and confirm it when I accuse you.” Sweetie Belle whimpered again, and then she brought her hands up to the top button of her blouse. *** “She made you sing naked?” Scootaloo demanded. “For almost two hours,” Sweetie Belle nodded, her reddened face still planted firmly on the table. She hadn't stopped blushing since she'd arrived at school, but no matter how hard Apple Bloom and Scootaloo had tried, she hadn't been able to bring herself to talk about her experience until after school. “Ah can't believe she did that!” Apple Bloom fumed. “Waitin' 'til we were gone to take advantage of Sweetie Belle. That's just dirty! If Ah'd've been there she would've thought twice about that.” She pounded a fist into an open palm for emphasis. Diamond chose this moment to walk… nay, strut on by. Sweetie flushed again and desperately hoped that she would ignore her, but Diamond turned and gave her a devious smile. “See you this Friday night, Sweetie!” She paused. “You are coming, right? Silvey and I are going to be waiting for you.” Sweetie blushed as Diamond giggled maliciously. “Of course you are. Wouldn't want any… secrets slipping out, now, would we?” Still giggling as Sweetie buried her face again, she turned and walked away. “Yeah,” Scootaloo growled as soon as she was out of sight, “she's not getting away with this. Not if I have anything to say about it.” That was enough to make Sweetie look up. “I thought you didn't like me doing this?” she asked. “I don't,” Scootaloo said bluntly. “I think it's dumb, and I think you’re dumb for enjoying it as much as you do. But you're my friend, and I'm going to do whatever I can to make this…” She almost said 'right', but realized that that wasn't quite the word she was looking for. “Uh… as right as I can, given the circumstances.” Scootaloo's grin turned menacing. “Ok, here's what we're gonna do…”
Avenged“And you know your lines?” Scootaloo asked. “As good as they're getting,” Sweetie said, adjusting the pink shirt she wore. It was a little bit big on her, but not too big. Then again, it was actually Diamond Tiara's shirt that Scootaloo had stolen from her room, so there was a good explanation for that. “All right. Into position.” Apple Bloom watched as Sweetie's… er… filly bits came into focus. “And… action!” Sweetie paused long enough to give the camera a good look before sitting down. “Hello, internet!” she said cheerfully. “Pantsless Wonder here. I've been getting lots of mail from all my fans and so I figured I'd make a video answering some of the questions I've gotten.” She pulled up some notecards with questions on them. It was slightly awkward for her to read them, as she had a lampshade over her eyes, but then again she's memorized the lines anyway. “This one I've gotten a lot. 'Hey Pantsless, what's your policy on private shows?' I'm open to negotiation; but I gotta warn ya, something this good-” here she gestured playfully at her body “-doesn't come cheap.” She winked cheekily as she flipped to the next card. “'Are you really Silver Song?'” She giggled. “No, I'm not. And I'm not going to answer any questions like this one. I'll just say that I'm not who you think I am. I don't sound like this normally, and I even-” here she began beating at the fur on her forearm, releasing a white powder, “dye my fur,” she finished. “That's why I take so long to make my videos. I don't just drop my pants and find my lampshade and sing, after all. That's why I wear a shirt, you know? To hide my cutie mark. And no, I'm not showing you my cutie mark.” She flipped to the next card. “'Do you have lots of friends in real life?' I have something better! I have all of you online fans!” She laughed. “Ok, yes. Don't tell her I told this, but I do have one really, really good friend. She's an earth pony, like me. I tell her everything, and we do everything together. Braid each other's hair, talk about colts…” She paused, scuffing her hand against the chair nervously, “and maybe possibly in my case, fillies… uh… we poke fun at ponies without their cutie marks yet, we just have a great time together!” Scootaloo grinned. Having found some magazines under Diamond's bed that left no doubt about her orientation was just icing on the cake. *** Filthy Rich paused. Didn't his daughter have a shirt like that? And an earth pony best friend? How long had it been since he’d last seen her, anyway? *** In another room in the same house, Diamond Tiara could only stare in abject horror as Sweetie Belle continued answering questions and giving answers that made her vaguely sound like Diamond herself. Right now anypony from their class who was watching (and she was more than a bit certain that their class happened to be full of perverts) would be thinking of Diamond Tiara. The coup de grace came unexpectedly. “She even forgave me when I broke her glasses in gym class in third grade!” Diamond shrieked and slammed the laptop shut. Anypony who had been there in the school would have remembered that, even though it sounded intensely personal. She needed to think of something good to shut Sweetie up… and fast. *** Diamond Tiara refused to look at any of the crusaders the next day, which they all considered to be a positive thing. She didn’t even have Silver Spoon throw scraps of paper at Apple Bloom’s bow, so she must have been really rattled at Scootaloo’s plan. The uneasy peace lasted until about first recess. Surprisingly, it was not Diamond who drew first blood. Archer snickered as she passed Diamond. “So, I’m glad to see you’re wearing pants today,” she said. Diamond jumped. “What?” Pipsqueak chimed in next. “Nice try, Diamond Tiara; but we know it’s you.” “It’s not! Who, the Pantsless Wonder?” “I knew it!” Snips proclaimed, pointing a finger accusingly. “It is you!” “No, it isn't! I swear! I can’t even sing!” Diamond protested. “That’s exactly what PW would say to hide her tracks!” Snails proclaimed triumphantly. “No! I- I’ll prove it!” “But Diamond, you can't sing,” Silver Spoon hurriedly pointed out. “Exactly!” And she turned to the crowd, opened her mouth, and proved just that. Apple Bloom covered her ears. She was certain she'd heard cats in heat that sounded better. Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle could only stare in a mixture of delight and horror as Diamond Tiara made a complete idiot out of herself. Somewhere in the distance, a dog began to howl as if in pain, alley cats yowled and fled, and flocks of birds flew away, chirping as though a terrifying predator was after them. Sweetie Belle giggled. “Eh,” Snips shrugged. “I still think she's faking.” “She could drop 'er drawers and we can check that way,” Pipsqueak suggested. This earned him a well-deserved slap upside the head. “Are you insane?” Diamond demanded. “I'm not showing you my privates!” “Why not?” Snails asked. “It's pretty!” The surrounding ponies murmured an enthusiastic agreement. “What?” Diamond nearly shrieked. Twist, with her powers of social ineptitude, chose to answer. “It'th probably a combination of your small labia minor, plump labia major, perfect combinathion of pudge without being too fat and your perfectly thaved…” Her voice trailed off as she realized ponies were staring. She cleared her throat. “It'th theckthi?” she tried. “That's a test,” Snips said brightly. “Do you shave your pubes?” “Oh, come on!” Diamond said, grasping at straws. “Everypony shaves their downstairs! Featherweight? Dinky? I bet even Twist does it!” Twist flushed about the color of her mane. She looked down, scuffed a hoof on the ground, and mumbled something about liking it when the carpet matcheth the drapeth. “Ugh!” Diamond shrieked for real this time. “You’re all insane!” Archer stepped in front of Twist. “Your misdirections won't work this time, Tiara,” she said accusingly. “We know it's you!” “It's not!” Unseen by any of them, the three crusaders had slunk away, out of sight of the crowd. Scootaloo nudged Sweetie Belle. “Does it not bother you any that it’s actually your filly bi-” She paused, then turned and whacked Apple Bloom on the back of her head. “Dang it! Now you’ve got me saying it!” She turned back to Sweetie Belle. “That it’s actually your vagina they’re talking about?” “Vulva,” Sweetie corrected. “Vulva’s the exterior genitalia; vagina is the inner canal.” “Gah!” Scootaloo grumbled, throwing her hands into the air. “You know what I mean! Question still stands!” “I dunno,” Sweetie said. “It’s… kindof nice.” Her voice trailed off, mumbling something that sounded vaguely like “feels kindof good”. Scootaloo’s eyes narrowed. “You need serious help, Sweetie Belle. Serious help.”
ConsequencesSweetie finished the song and then bowed, turning around in all directions as if she was in front of a large audience. Apple Bloom gave her a thumbs up and made to turn off the camera, but Sweetie shook her head slightly. She stepped forward and began speaking normally. “So next week is April Foal's Day,” she said, “and for my 'prank', I won't be performing bottomless. Hope you like me for my singing and not just the show I put on!” She made the 'cut' motion with a hand over her throat, and Apple Bloom turned off the camera. “So you're done?” Scootaloo said, sounding a bit more excited than she should have been. Sweetie giggled as she pulled off her lampshade. “Actually, I had another idea…” *** Scootaloo's face was roughly the shade of an apple as she finished applying the pasty to her friend's chest. Apple Bloom watched from a safe distance. She'd won the best of nine Rock Paper Scissors tournament, and was enjoying her prize of not being the one to do it. It also didn't help that Sweetie's figure wasn't what it used to be. “How did you get Rarity to agree to cast this spell, anyway?” Scootaloo complained. Sweetie paused. “Well…” “Please, Rarity?” Sweetie pleaded. “You know it's temporary, like only a couple hours; and I just want to feel sexy like you for one night.” Rarity looked down at her own chest and couldn't help but smile. While the quality of a lady was definitely not dependent on her cup size, it certainly didn't hurt. “I suppose it would be all right,” she said, lighting her horn. “I just asked,” Sweetie said with a shrug. “She only gave me one size bigger, but that should be enough.” “I'm already seeing more of your boobs than I want to,” Scootaloo groused before stepping back. “You're done.” Sweetie grinned as she pulled her lampshade over her head. “Then let's get started.” *** “Turns out your whole body is popular,” Scootaloo remarked dryly as she looked at the results of Sweetie's 'prank'. Sweetie Belle couldn’t help but smile widely as she counted and recounted the number of likes. She’d never imagined this would turn out like this! “Look, Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo said. “I’m thinking with a great video like this, it’s time to, you know, hang up your lampshade.” “Are you kidding?” Sweetie demanded. “This is only the beginning!” Scootaloo sighed and let her head fall to hit the desk. “You’re going to regret this, too,” she warned. “What happens when something comes up that I can’t get you out of?” Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Like that’s gonna happen,” she said. *** There was a knock on the boutique door, and Sweetie, being closest, answered it. When she did, her jaw dropped. There stood two royal guards. 'They've found me,' Sweetie thought. 'I'm going to go to jail!' She began to hyperventilate. The guard didn’t seem to notice as he pulled out a small scroll and compared the image on it with the mare in front of him. Satisfied, he nodded curtly and spoke. “Sweetie Belle of Ponyville, you are being summoned. Celestia herself wishes to speak with you.” Sweetie's heart dropped to somewhere below the Ponyville watertable. “A- are you sure it's me she's looking for?” she stammered. “Quite sure.” Now hyperventilating at full force, Sweetie decided that it would be best to come clean. “Y- yes, that's me.” “Good.” The guard couldn't help but chuckle at her nervous shuddering reaction. “Breathe, filly; it's just a friendly meeting. You're not under arrest or in trouble or anything; it's a friendly meeting. Get in the cart, please.” Sweetie was somewhat comforted when she saw that it was an open sleigh, and not a caged prisoner transport. She climbed on and when they were certain she was buckled in safely, the guards harnessed themselves in and they all flew towards Canterlot. *** In the great hall, Sweetie Belle stood before Celestia herself. She quivered uncontrollably as Celestia shuffled through some paperwork. Oh, why hadn't she listened to Scootaloo and just deleted that first video? Celestia began with a warm smile. “Miss Sweetie Belle. Do you know why you're here?” As she wasn’t shouting or ordering Sweetie to be chained to the floor, Sweetie was starting to get the impression that she was not in trouble, but figured she’d probably better ask. “Not really,” she said truthfully. “Am I in trouble?” Celestia laughed lightly. “Of course not! Youre here because I have a special invitation for you, and I wished to deliver it in person. How would you like to sing at the biggest party in Canterlot?” Sweetie's jaw dropped. “M- me?” she stammered. “Yes. I'd like you to open the Grand Galloping Gala by singing the Equestrian Hymn. You know it, I assume?” “Of course,” Sweetie Belle said, somewhat in shock. She had no idea what this gala was, but it sounded exciting. “It's the national anthem. I hear it every weekend with my dad. He's a real football fan. He loves the Chargers.” Celestia smiled knowingly. “Then, seeing how their series is going, he is indeed a true fan… but that's a conversation for another time.” She lit her horn and held out the invitation. “This will get you in, as well as describe your duties and responsibilities, but it's all fairly simple and self-explanatory.” Sweetie screwed up her face and lit her horn, but it sparked and fizzled out. Smiling sheepishly, she reached out a hand to take it, and stuck it in her saddlebag. Celestia continued, “I suppose it goes without saying that for this occasion, it would be best if you wear a dress that goes below the level of your waist. I believe one designed by your sister would be more than sufficient. And leave any lampshades at home, please; these ponies want to see your smiling face.” The blood drained completely from Sweetie's definitely not-smiling face, and she could only stare, horrified, as Celestia winked at her. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I simply must get started on all this paperwork. Budgets and invitations won't make themselves, you know, and Luna simply refuses to help.” She paused, glancing up and looking at nothing. “I think she's still somewhat bitter about her banishment. But I can't blame her.” Her smile returned as she looked back at Sweetie Belle. “I trust you can see yourself out?” Sweetie nodded numbly and she turned to leave. *** Scootaloo waved a hoof in front of Sweetie's face, but she didn't respond. She just sat there, staring blankly at the wall, a piece of paper still clenched in her hand. “She's been like this since she returned from Canterlot,” Rarity said, “but she won't speak about it.” Scootaloo poked her friend in the forehead, but Sweetie didn't respond. She continued poking repeatedly until Apple Bloom swatted her hand away. Rarity gently massaged her sister's shoulders. “Could you watch her while I continue to work? I have a large order that must be done tomorrow.” Apple Bloom saluted sharply, and Rarity hesitantly left, looking back once at Sweetie before leaving the room completely. “I dunno what we can do,” Scootaloo said, resuming her poking. “Canterlot is a big place. Celestia knows what Sweetie…” “She does!” Sweetie squeaked suddenly, making both of them jump. “What?” “Celestia knows I'm the Pantsless Wonder!” Sweetie hissed. “Oh,” Apple Bloom said. “Awkward.” “Ah, well,” Scootaloo said. “'Ah, well'?” Sweetie squeaked. “She knows my sister! She knows all my friends! She could blow this thing wide open!” “Calm down. For all you know, she's a fan of your show,” Apple Bloom shrugged. Scootaloo raised her hand. “Am I the only one who thinks that would be terrifyingly disturbing?” she asked. She was ignored. “Is that why she called you up to Canterlot? To tell you to cut it out?” “No, she wants me to sing the Equestrian Hymn at the Grand Galloping Gala next month!” “That sounds great!” Apple Bloom cheered. “What does that mean?” Sweetie shrugged. “I dunno.” “Bet Rarity does,” Scootaloo suggested. Sweetie brightened. “Yeah! Let's go tell Rarity! I bet she'll be so excited!” *** “Faintin' 's a sign of excitement, right?” Apple Bloom asked, nudging Rarity's unconscious, supine frame with a hoof. “Yeah, normally; but that 'nooooo!' before she fainted probably cancels that out,” Scootaloo said with just the barest hint of sarcasm. Sweetie Belle fought to put on a smile. “She's probably just overreacting. She does that sometimes. It might not be so bad.”
Closure“That was even worse than I'd feared,” Sweetie Belle groaned. Even the loveliness of new dresses had not succeeded in overcoming just how awful rhe Gala itself had been. “Yeah. That was boring beyond the most boring thing I've ever done. I'm pretty sure I was bored out of my skull. Here, check if it's still in my head.” She leaned over, and Apple Bloom knocked gently on her temple. “Yep. Still there.” “Thank goodness. Look, I don't know about you girls, but I've gotta do something else tonight. Something that won't make me want to gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon.” She snorted. “Guess this is why Rainbow was less than thrilled about coming back.” “You any good at karaoke?” Scootaloo gave Apple Bloom an askance look. “That's out of left field,” she said. Apple Bloom jerked her head towards a bar with neon lights flashing out 'Karaoke night!'. “What d' you girls think?” Sweetie and Scootaloo came to a quick consensus. “Let's do it!” *** It took a while to get inside, and then even longer to get to the front of the line, but finally they managed it. “What do you want to sing?” Scootaloo asked, looking over the setlist. “I dunno. Surprise me!” Sweetie said. Scootaloo flipped through the book and grinned. “Here's a fun one. It's a killer rock ballad!” Sweetie looked over the words and grinned. “Yeah. Let's do that one.” The DJ raised an eyebrow. “That one's got a bit of a range; you sure you can do that?” “Don't worry. I can sing the Equestrian Hymn and it has a wider range.” The DJ shrugged and placed the record on the turntable. “All right. You're on deck.” When the current song (being sung by a stallion who probably had been drinking more than just water) ended, Sweetie Belle got on stage. She bowed as she got some whistling and catcalls from her fancy dress, and then the song began. And Sweetie sang. When she'd finished, she bowed to thunderous applause. She blushed; it really seemed all too much. She barely heard her friends screaming her name, and she looked down. “Pretty good, huh?” she said. “You did it!” Scootaloo yelled, tugging at her own sleeve. “Check yourself out!” Sweetie frowned, but looked down at her shoulder anyway. Her eyes widened. “My cutie mark!” *** “So Rarity ended up taking it ok.” Sweetie grimaced. “Maybe a little too ok… She started making new outfits for me and was up all night, making me try things on.” “All with pants, I assume?” Scootaloo teased. “Yeah, but they're pretty revealing, and all very spiky.” Her cheeks tinged with red. “I like the way they make me feel.” Scootaloo facepalmed. “You need help, Sweetie Belle. Professional help.” “Anyway…” Sweetie steeled herself for what she was about to say. “I think it's time to put the Pantsless Wonder to rest,” she said. “About time!” cheered Scootaloo. “Why? You loved bein' the Pantsless Wonder!” “Yeah; but I'm thinking it's time to move on. Besides, it wouldn't go so well with my actual singing career.” “Guess you're right,” Apple Bloom said. “You've got a good song for your great farewell?” “I'm going to do a medley,” Sweetie said. “I'm going to sing-” She was cut off with a squeak as Scootaloo grabbed both her friends and began pulling them towards the clubhouse. “I don't really care. Let's go film!” *** Sweetie stepped out of her pants and turned to fluff up her tail. Scootaloo fiddled with the camera as Apple Bloom set up the laptop. When Sweetie was convinced that her tail was unrecognizable, she turned over to her friends. “So, you want to join me in my last video?” “Heck no!” Scootaloo laughed. “I'm just glad to be done with th-” But that's as far as she got, because Apple Bloom, with a wink at Sweetie Belle, had sneaked over and in one quick motion, she pantsed Scootaloo, panties and all. She had definitely picked the wrong day to wear basketball shorts. Scootaloo gasped and desperately scrambled to pull her pants up, but it was too late; her friends had seen, and they were both shocked into silence. “I… I thought only colts had those,” Sweetie Belle said hesitantly. “Yeah, well,” Scootaloo said, her face quickly turning the shade of Apple Bloom's apple belt buckle as she tied the strings rightly around her waist. “Usually, yes. But I'm a lucky one in seventeen hundred thousand that gets both sets.” Sweetie paused. “Can I see?” “No!” Scootaloo shouted, blushing even harder. She turned to run out the clubhouse door, but Sweetie Belle grabbed her around the neck and pulled her into a tight (and somewhat unwelcome) hug. Scootaloo struggled, but Sweetie didn't let go. “It's ok, Scootaloo; we still like you! Don't we, Apple Bloom?” “Yeah,” Apple Bloom said, but with more hesitance in her voice. “It's ok, you're still our friend.” “Really?” Scootaloo asked, relaxing slightly. “You still like me? You don't think I'm a freak because I have a…” She pointed down towards below her waist. “Nope!” Sweetie Belle said. “In fact, I think it's pretty cute.” Scootaloo blushed again, but this time not from embarrassment. “R- really? Cute?” she asked. “Yeah,” Sweetie said. “Really really.” She spun Scootaloo around and without warning, kissed her on the lips. Scootaloo's ears flicked up in surprise and her wings flared out, and she stood there for a few seconds as she tried to force her brain to respond. Eventually, it did; and she relaxed into the kiss and pushed back with her tongue, something Sweetie Belle happily accepted. Apple Bloom watched in horror as her two best friends (one of whom was still not wearing pants) made out with each other. “Ok, this is just messed up,” she said. “There's no way any of this can actually be happening.” And she was right. Author's Note Happy April Fool's Day, everypony.
