The HAS Group Invades Equestria

by Dropbear

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Crossover, Human, Comedy, Romance
Length: 14635

WTF

This is the result of:

1. Peer pressure
2. My desire to please
3. Drugs
4. Booze
5. The urge to maim waifu-stealers
6. Pointless clop… which I fail at writing.

Warning, contains human superiority.

Prepare your anus.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-08 12:22:38 UTC

The Lord Commissar Purges Celestia of Chaos Taint

“Are you ready for me to fill you with some chaos like a sponge-cake dear Tia?”

Celestia giggled as the Spirit of Chaos lay her down on the royal bed and stood over her with his throbbing erection posed to plunder her Princess-hood (No relation to John Hood.)

“Oh yes Discord,” Celestia replied as she stretched her hooves out upon the bed. “Make me a filthy heretic just like you want!” Discord smirked as he spread her hind hooves to give him access, revealing little-celestia. He grunted as he slid his cock, half dragon-half horse, over the forbidden folds of pureness. Oh, how he had been waiting for this day.

“Say it Celestia,” he whispered into her ear as she moaned, Discord’s Chaos Cock™ brushing against Celestia’s sopping-wet entrance. “Curse Humanity for the savages they are and i’ll give you a cream-filling you’ll never forget.” Celestia panted as the Spirit rubbed against her. She wanted this so badly.

“Tho-those humans,” she had trouble speaking with the lust coursing through her royal body. “Those humans are a bunch of faggo-”

“Stop right there Chaotical Scum!”

Celestia was cut off as a large, burly human with a waistcoat, a peaked hat and a bolt pistol smashed through the bedroom window. The waistcoat was open revealing ripped muscles with the Imperial Aquila tattooed on the firm pink flesh. The male human grasped Discord’s head with a hand and yanked the Spirit off of his waifu.

“I am Lord Commissar Alexer and I am the Emperor’s chosen,” the figure decreed. “I have come to purge your chaotic taint and lay holy waste to your misanthropy you demon whore!” Celestia covered herself with her bedsheets and cowered as Lord Commissar Alexer placed the bolt pistol against Discord’s groin and pulled the trigger.

Discord wailed as bolts blew off his hybrid penis in a spray of gore before Lord Commissar Alexer finished the Spirit with a bolt to the temple which destroyed Discord’s brain. Dropping the dead body to the floor Lord Commissar Alexer wiped blood from his face before turning to Celestia cowering in the bed.

“Prepare yourself xeno,” Lord Commissar Alexer announced. “It is my duty to the Emperor to cleanse you of any chaos taint!” With these words Lord Commissar Alexer grabbed the Princess and turned her over so her face was buried in the pillows. Celestia struggled at first but being the slut that she is she didn’t fight too hard, she wanted to feel the full might of the Imperium.

“And we shall never wavier in the face of the demon-spawn,” Lord Commissar Alexer recited as he brushed the head his nine-inch ‘Imperial Justice’ against Celestia’s anal ring. The princess looked back in fear.

“No, wait! We can’t do anal yet, the Imperial Justice will tear me apart!” Lord Commissar Alexer had a solution for this, raising a hand to pecs that would put a catchan to shame he gathered a handful of Discord-blood and slathered it on Imperial Justice.

“Do not fear Xeno,” he replied as his schlong pushed against Celestia’s donut-hole. “The blood of the demon and heretic lubricates all.”

With these words Lord Commissar Alexer thrust deep into Celestia’s bowles causing the Princess to gasp in shock. A ripple of pleasure traveled down her spine and soon Lord Commissar Alexer began to thrust with utter conviction. Celestia bit the pillow and moaned as he continually hilted inside of her as the bed slammed against the wall. The human never tired as her anal canal gripped his shaft and squeezed.

A feeling swelled up inside of her and with a final thrust Celestia came all onto her royal bed with a moan that shattered windows.

“I grant you the Emperor’s absolution!” Lord Commissar Alexer informed as he shot spurt after spurt of warm Imperial Essence into Celestia like a fire hose. After five payloads he pulled out and rolled the panting Princess onto her back. Celestia looked at him in shock, he was still hard and his penis was a blood and semen drenched tool of awe.

“How are you ready already!?” She questioned as Lord Commissar Alexer sneered.

“The Imperial Faith never waivers!” He spread her legs and inserted the tip of his Imperial Justice into Celestia's royal folds causing the mare to eep in shock and pleasure. Lord Commissar Alexer stared down at the two’s sexes joined together. “An open pussy is like a fortress with its doors unguarded and unbarred.”

With the power of the Emperor behind him Lord Commissar Alexer thrust in deep and hilted on the first try, Celestia’s mind blanking with pleasure. The faithful Imperial Servant resumed his Holy task as he ploughed the Princess senseless, Celestia’s moans heard throughout Canterlot as Lord Commissar Alexer continued on with fervour.

Celestia’s walls squeezed his cock as she came once more but still the human thrust on. She had a furious blush on her face and her moans were only interrupted with gasps of air and pants. Her eyes widened as she felt a tongue invade her mouth, a clean-shaven chin touching hers as Lord Commissar Alexer wrestled her tongue with his. She felt his thrusts get faster and the human pulled away with a saliva trial joining their mouths.

“Prepare for the warm load of Imperial Mercy Xeno!” Lord Commissar Alexer shouted with the force of a Baneblade shot. Celetia screamed in ecstasy as the human buried his Imperial Justice in all the way and filled her with Human seed. Spurt after spurt pumped in and once again Celestia came onto his dick. She would never go back to Chaos again, Mankind was the only way.

All good things have to come to an end however and Lord Commissar Alexer pulled out after the tenth burst of seed to splatter Celestia's already white coat with Holy Jizz. A few strands fell on her face which Celestia gathered with her tongue and swallowed with a greedy gulp. She lay on the bed exhausted after having recieved the best fucking of her life.

Lord Commissar Alexer buttoned up his pants and ensured that everything was holstered once more. A scream from outside alerted him to more Chaos dick-wankery so he gave one of Celestia’s nipples a final squeeze.

“While there is chaos I shall never falter!” He cried before jumping back out the window. Celestia managed to sit up and wave a hoof at him before he disappeared from view.

“Come again lest I almost fall to Chaos, once every week should keep me pure!”

Roseluck trembled as Time Turner advanced on her with his stallionhood swinging under his body. She didn’t want this, she wanted her one true mate and it was not Time Turner. She sobbed as the stallion smacked her to the ground and grabbed her rump to force it into the air. He lined up with her lips and thrusted, however this time he jabbed her thigh instead increasing the flow of tears from the distraught mare.

“Heh heh,” Dr Autism chuckled as he lined up again. “Don’t worry my waifu, my sweet Rose. This time it will go in like clockwork.” Roseluck let out another sob as the stallion moved forward again.

“Die Chaos-bringer!” The wait from her back lifted and Roseluck turned around with surprise. A large biped with his chest oiled with blood lifted Time Turner into the air by the scruff of his neck.

“Put me down, I have a waifu to steal!” Time Turner complained before the roar of a chainsword filled the air with noise. Lord Commissar Alexer positioned the pony’s anus over the tip of the weapon.

“Praise to the Emperor!”

With that Time Turner was dropped onto the blades, the stallion screaming as the chainsword devastated his anus. Lord Commissar Alexer dropped the stallion and the still-spinning weapon to pick the terrified Roseluck off the ground. The mare screamed as she was thrown through the air only to stop when a pair of arms caught her.

She looked up and saw that another human held her, not as buff but his face radiated power of an economic nature.

Lord Commissar Alexer nodded to John Hood who returned the gesture before the dapper human walked off into the sunset with his waifu in his arms as Time Turned still screamed with the sword in his arse. Lord Commissar Alexer’s work was complete, raising his arms he soared into the heavens on his way to crush the orks on Armageddon.

Oh, and on the way he punched Slaanesh’s cunt clean off.

Saron the Liberator Liberates some Seaponies of Their Innocence

Tuna Melody and her fellow Seapony guard, Fish Sticks, were swimming along in the deep ocean just outside of Seatopia. Melody’s shiny pink skin was covered by armour fashioned from green coral while Fish Sticks was sporting beautiful red coral over her green body. Both seaponies grasped golden tridents in their fore-flippers as their strong mermaid-like tails propelled them forward.

As they entered an area far from the city at the edge of their patrol route Fish Sticks peered out from her coral helmet towards a strange object floating in the water.

“Melody,” she informed as she pointed with her trident. “Look over there.” Melody’s pink eyes squinted at the object appearing to be some kind of creature.

“We better go investigate!” the bubbly Melody informed, excited at the prospect of finding a new sort of creature. Fish Sticks rolled her lime eyes and followed her fellow guard and friend.

As the two drew within a few metres the form of the figure became clearer.

It didn’t look as though it was meant to be in the sea, the creature wearing strange clothes coloured blue and red with gold trimming with a set of impressive sideburns. It had hairless tanned skin and its face was angular and harsh.

“Is it dead?” Fish Sticks asked worriedly as the creature merely floated in the water. Melody went to poke the being with her trident but she jerked back as the creature’s eyes opened and fixed her with a strange look.

“How can it breathe?” Melody wondered out loud as she saw no gills like hers or Fish Stick’s on the figure but then again they may be hidden underneath the clothes.

“I have come to liberate you,” the creature suddenly spoke in a harsh tone, Fish Sticks and Melody drawing back.

“I don’t like this Melody,” Fish Sticks whimpered as the figure started to waggle it’s claws.

“Same here Sticks,” her pink friend replied. “Let’s go back and report this.”

“Oh no you don’t,” the creature chuckled as the Seaponies started to swim backwards. “Viva La Revolution!”

With the cry the creature transformed in a flash of green light to a horrific tentacle beast ten times the size (fuck your scaling). It had a large fanged maw, more maws instead of eyes and worst of all a mass of writhing tentacles tipped with bulb-like tips with circles in the middle.

“Swim!” Melody cried as she and Fish Sticks swam for their lives away from the creature. It was in vain however as two strong tentacles lashed out and wrapped around the two young females. Powerful suckers latched on to their slippery bodies as smaller tentacles stripped the two guards of their armour. Naked and ensnared in tentacles the two were brought closer to the jaws of the beast, Melody and Fish Sticks squirming in an attempt to escape as they feared death.

However, Saron had things far more deviant than simple consumption in store for the two mares.

Melody’s eyes widened as a thick, slimy, sea-green tentacle invaded her mouth to slide down her throat. Due to her gills she didn’t gag or need to breathe and her teeth were ineffective against the slippery intruder. The tentacle tasted strange and as it moved around in her mouth she found herself unwillingly moving her tongue around its girth.

Her eyes darted to the side at a girly moan, Melody spotting a sight that caused her nethers to heat up like mad.

Fish Sticks also had a tentacle of her own stuck in her mouth however the green seapony also had a second one just as thick rubbing against her folds tenderly. A small cloud of natural lube was spreading out into the sea and Melody jolted as she too felt a tentacle against her lower body.

She moaned around the tentacle in her mouth which only increased the beast’s pleasure as another tentacle started to rub against her. Her eyes rolled back as she quickly approached the edge from the stimulation against her clit as the tentacles increased their pace.

Both she and Sticks reached their peak at the same time, the two mares moaning in delight as the tentacles in their mouths shuddered and jerked. Waves of salty cum gushed down their throats into their stomachs like cream cheese inserted into a fried donut.

Saron didn’t say a word, only his grin increasing as he withdrew the mouth tentacles and flipped the two panting mares over so that their behinds were facing him. Two tentacles lifted the fish tails up to expose the rear holes, each mare about to receive two more waiting tentacles.

The two seaponies gasped in unison as a bulb-headed tentacle plunged into their steamy depths, the tentacles sinking in with ease until the tips hit the mares’ cervixes. More moans came from the two friends as the slimy invaders started to slowly pump back and forth. Each mare shuddered in extra pleasure as another tentacle each forced their way into their anal canals, the wriggling heads already well lubed with slime.

The two quickly came again, Saron’s grin increasing ever more as time went on. As the tentacles began jerk again he brought the two mares together face to face and prepared another two tentacles to force their mouths together.

Melody and Fish Sticks needed no encouragement however, the two locking mouths as soon as they were able to and sharing each other's moans and saliva. Each shuddered and clenched on the tentacles invading them as they screamed at the same time, pushing the vile tentacle monster attacking to release his seed.

The tentacles stuck in the two mares bulged as load after load of monster-semen was deposited in their wombs and rectums. The flow never stopped and their stomachs bulged with the sheer amount of the fluid. All through this the two hadn't stopped cumming, their bodies racked with pleasure.

The tentacles eventually pulled out but kept on going, covering the two still-kissing friends with white cum that stuck to them like oil from BP sticks to sea otters.

Saron stopped after a few more spurts, the two guards coated in a layer of his essence. With a flash of green light he once again changed back to his human form, his sneer replaced with a victorious smile. He observed the two mares remain wrapped around each other as white seed continued to slowly exit from their orifices and turn the surrounding water a milky white.

His work here was done.

While to two mares continued to make out in the afterglow he clicked his jack-booted heels together three times. With a massive surge of water the human was propelled upwards towards the blue sky, his mission complete.

In a darkened room in a massive spaceship orbiting a blue-and-green planet a large armoured figure leaned back in his chair and raised his cup of sake to his lips.

His massive grey moustache vibrated, signalling that the HAS alliance was one step closer to it’s goal. Technically the Lord Commissar was in charge but with him away on planet it was ClassyGeneral’s time to shine.

“What a shamful dispray.” he muttered as he watched the livestream of the Commissar ‘purge’ Celestia. he would have prefered to kill or subjugate all of the ponies not do… that to them.

Another cup of sake was offered by one of the geishas lying next to his chair on silk pillows, ClassyGeneral accepting it and downing it in one go.

He’d need a lot more where that came from.

Patlestia and the Power of EH!

“The Empire is going along well Cadence,” Luna complimented as she walked through the Crystal Palace. Beside Cadence and Shining swelled with pride at the praise, the three walking into the dining room where a lavish banquet awaited them. Shining and Cadence sat together at the end of the table and nuzzled while Luna daintily took a sip of tea after she had taken a seat.

“We couldn’t have done it without your help Princess,” Shining replied gratefully. “You and Celestia-”

“Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

All three glanced towards the large window, looking outside as the strange noise carried on the wind.

“What was that?” Cadence inquired as Luna furrowed her brow. Something was wrong, something was very wrong indeed. Luna, Cadence and Shining glanced down at their cups of tea on the table as the liquid churned with vibrations.

“EH!”

All three ponies were blown back against the wall as a massive shout shattered the window sending glass shards everywhere. As they groggily tried to stand a menacing, bipedal figure armoured in purple plate back-flipped through the window from the snowy outside.

“I’ve come here to cleanse you, eh!” the figure announced in a female voice. Shining Armour got to his hooves and stared down the intruder.

“You won’t hurt my Cadence!” The pony declared as he charged towards the biped.

He lowered his head and aimed to spear her on his horn, however Patlestia had other plans.

Quick as a whip, the sister of battle reached out with her armoured hands and picked the surprised unicorn off the ground before he made contact. Holding him towards the shattered window, Patlestia summoned her inner power.

“Kami-Kami EH!”

With a wave of energy Shining was propelled through the air, screaming out over the horizon to land in the land of the zebras where he would be imprisoned and raped endlessly by hung zebra stallions. Patlestia turned to the two Princesses and towered over them as they cowered.

“What do you want!?” Cadence screamed while Luna started to sneakily charge a spell. Patlestia leaned in closer to her two playthings.

“Eh,” she stated saucily as Luna closed her eyes in preparation to blast the creature to the sun. Patlestia had received special training however and went for a cunning ploy.

As Luna was about to blow an armoured hand wrapped around the horn cancelling the spell. Luna shuddered as a wave of energy flowed down her spine before she was lifted into the air and slammed down on the wooden table. After recovering from the blow she shook her head and looked up, a metal face peering down at her with glowing red eyes.

“...eh?” she tried as a last measure while the figure removed an armoured glove to reveal silky pink fingers. Luna jolted in surprise as her hind legs, which were dangling off the table, were spread wide as the biped shoved her armoured groin against Luna’s arse.

“Eh,” Patlestia replied back with a nod before with a gasp from Luna she rubbed her un-armoured hand along the Princess’s slit. Cadence was still crying from a mix of fear and confusion in the corner as Patlestia molested Princess Luna with vigor, the Night Princess’s face heating up as her fore-hooves stopped flailing.

Luna’s body shuddered as the fingers danced over her clit with the skill of a pianist, her face twisting in pleasure as she stopped fighting the biped. A loud moan as Patlestia stuck a finger in jolted Cadence out of her terror. The pink alicorn had forgotten completely about Shining in her state. As she watched Patlestia finger the panting Luna she squirmed on the spot when she felt an itching in her loins..

‘Damn, this is hot,’ Cadence thought as she reached a hoof down below. How she longed for those soft, pink digits however.

It was about to get hotter as while fingering Luna’s Princess Portal™ the Sister-of- Battle reached her armoured hand to a button on her arm armour.

“Hail Eh!”

With the salute a ‘thwang!’ sounded as a ten-inch black strapon popped out from Patlestia’s groin plate, a gift from a certain Commissar.

The fingers were withdrawn giving Luna a chance to catch her breath, the red-faced alicorn looking down her body to stare at the artificial phallus ready to storm her Lunar Castle.

‘The Emperor Protects!’ was written on each side in gold, the words sparkling as Patlestia lubed it up with Luna’s juices courtesy of her hand covered in the clear fluid. One final touch was required however, Patlestia pouring a bottle of maple syrup over the gleaming black strap-on. Luna shuddered and squealed in ecstasy when Patlestia thrusted all the way in on the first go. The table banged against the floor as the Sister went to work, Cadence hoofing off while Luna moaned loudly which shattered windows all throughout the city.

Maple syrup dripped from Luna’s pussy as the strap-on plunged into her depths over and over again.

“Eh Eh Eh Eh Eh Eh Eh!” Patlestia recited with each hard thrust, her armoured-hips meeting Luna’s buttox with a slapping sound. Luna moaned and panted as the hard fucking continued to ravage her, her pretty pink walls gulping around Patlestia’s toy greedily. She felt herself reach her peak as her clit was rubbed like mad from the thrusting, Luna throwing her head back and her body coursing with poweras she came for the first time in 1045 years.

Cadence, who had been furiously pleasuring herself to the sight of Luna getting pounded by a female alien in power armour eeped as she found herself lifted up by a pair of strong arms.

Patlestia removed her helmet revealing white hair and green eyes, the human grinning as she positioned Cadence over the strap-on that was coated in a mix of Maple syrup, Luna’s cum and Cadence’s own juices that were dripping down like a leaky faucet onto the toy. Cadence’s eyes widened as she felt a tongue pass her lips as the head of the toy entered her lower lips, the alicorn moaning into Patlestia’s mouth as the human bucked her hips up to bury the dildo into Cadence’s love tunnel.

Luna crawled over and managed to stand, positioning her rump towards Patlestia as the human and Princess of love danced their tongues together. Luna gasped and shuddered again as fingers once more explored her sopping wet hole, the room filled with the sounds of pleasured moans and the moist slapping of a black strap-n being pounded into Cadence.

All as one the three came, the power of the Emperor flowing through Patlestia as his holy hand touched her and filled her spirit with praise.

“Praise EH!”

She had done well.

Cadence squealed into Patlestia’s mouth as her juices squirted onto the toy and floor, Luna also covering the crystal tiles with fluid. Patlestia let go of Cadence and the Alicorn fell off the toy and onto Luna who had collapsed on the floor in pleasure.

The two Princesses lay there intertwined as they recovered from the experience, Patlestia moving to the window and staring at the ground after replacing her helmet.

“EEEEHHHHH!”

With the super-loud shout the Sister propelled herself into the air as if she had a jetpack, the purple form zooming into space toward the battleship in preparation for her next mission.

John Hood Creates Abominations

A gentle breeze blew through the forest, the leaves of trees rustling with a light wave as birds soared through the air on the updrafts of the warm summers day.

All was peaceful in the forest with nary a soul around for miles, however that changed when in a small clearing a green light grew. Amongst a flower bed of daisies and lilies a whirlwind of green paper-money appeared. Bills flew everywhere before they took the form of a dapper John Hood holding a cream-coloured mare in his arms.

Roseluck looked around her new surroundings in surprise, the flower-seller taking in the unbridled nature they were within. She stared up at her hero as he gently laid her down on the soft cushion of flowers, Roseluck’s mane and tail spreading out as she melted into the comfortable ground.

She knew what was coming and her body was ready.

John Hood radiated power of a monetary nature as he knelt down over her and unbuttoned his shirt while managing to keep his bow-tie on.

Roseluck gasped as wads of cash rained down upon her in a money rain, bills fluttering in the air as coins plinked into the grass.

Dollars, pounds, euros, shekels, yen and every other currency in existence spilled from John Hood and it wasn’t long before Roseluck found herself under a thin blanket of paper money that was materially worthless but had the power to topple entire countries.

That was true power.

The flow of dosh slowed to a trickle before stopping completely, the sight of Hood’s chest driving Roseluck’s heart to beat frantically.

Solid muscle dominated Hood’s chest, a star of david tattooed over a globe depicting planet Earth with dollar signs orbiting it. Roseluck’s hind legs twitched as she fidgeted, more than ready to receive Hood’s coin-roll.

Hood however was a gentleman, and gentlemen take their time with the ladies.

The mare squirmed with a happy smile on her face as a trail of kisses were planted on her neck. She cooed as an ear was pinched between two fingers as the kisses got lower and lower until they stopped at her navel. The head was lifted from her stomach and she gave Hood a mock glare at his refusal to go lower thus prolonging her torment.

There was no real need for much foreplay however, the very sight of Hood drove her crazy and she was going to have her way. In a display of physics bending that would make a certain pink annoyance envious Roseluck flipped up onto her hooves before Hood could react, the mare going for the zipper of his pants with her teeth.

Roseluck tugged frantically in desperation to access the man-mint, Hood staring down at her with that same immobile face that oozed superiority.

There was no need for words with John Hood. Action is worth more than words.

And Roseluck was begging for some of that tax-deductible action.

Hood was a cynical bastard but he was capable of showing mercy to his waifu, one hand moving Roseluck’s head aside while the other unzipped his pants.

Roseluck’s eyes widened as John Hood’s member was revealed, as large as the jewish hold on american media. Her eyes sparkled with lust as she moved her head forward, Hood doing nothing to stop her as a dainty red tongue flicked out to taste his Rod of Gold Gathering Plus Ten™.

The mare mmmed her approval of the taste, a mix between the rare Nigerian naira and the stalwart British pound. With an elegant plop she greedily suckled on the tip, savouring it before she started to bob her head. She sucked and licked as she moved her head back and forth, coating John Hood’s Johnson in her saliva.

With a plop she lifted her mouth from it with regret, having wished to remain like that for the rest of her days. The next stage however would more than make up for it, Roseluck laying back down as she spread her legs to the side and flicked her tail invitingly.Her forelegs tucked up against her chest and she affixed Hood with wide doe-eyes, whimpering as she begged for him to take what was rightfully his and not that retarded Doctor who steals waifus while managing to be the largest wanker in the known universe.

Hood obliged happily, however his stony face did not shove it. Roseluck didn’t mind however as the human lined his gleaming erection up with her winking flower. She knew that he was the one, even if he didn’t externally show affection.

She was currently pining for internal affection however.

Roseluck was obliged as Hood gently glided in with the use of copious natural lubricant and Roseluck bucking her hips to force him in deeper.

The mare trembled and moaned as Hood hilted inside of her, Roseluck biting one of her hooves in an attempt to stifle the sounds. John hood moved back and forth starting slowly but increasing his pace as Roseluck rocked back and forth on the flowers.

A wet slicking sound had  broken the silence as well as the muffled grunts and pants from the mare recieveing the rutting of her life. Roseluck’s face was red with blush, her eyes fluttering with every movement in her loins.

Her walls clenched around Hood and she screamed through her hoof-gag as she climaxed, John Hood not slowing as his member was drenched in Roseluck’s fluids. A thin sheen of sweat was visible on Hood yet the Human nether paused or slowed in his attentions to his waifu.

Rose came down from her orgasum and latched her hind legs around Hood’s waist as she draped her fore legs over his shoulders. Lifting herself up into a sitting position she pushed Hood back onto his behind.

She squirmed on his lap as she got comfortable before she began to bounce up and down, her money-maker jiggling slightly (dat plot). She went hard and fast, wet slaps sounding as she drew closer to another climax. John Hood was close as well, having endured long past the time that the filthy Time Turner would have gone.

Roseluck knew that Hood was close, she could feel him twitch inside of her. Moving her mouth to his she gave him a passionate kiss before breaking it to lick his left ear.

“Go on Hood,” she panted into his ear. “Give me beautiful mutant love-children.”

Hood needed no further encouragement. That had been his plan all along.

With the slightest of grunts he gave one final slam that caused Roseluck to nearly pass out from the pleasure before warm Hood-seed flooded into Roseluck’s womb which gulped the fluid in greedily. Roseluck tightened her legs around him as she once again came, her tongue lolling out and her tail swishing like mad.

The flow of Satyr- producing semen halted after four large bursts, more than enough to ensure a ready supply of children for the two happy lovers.

Roseluck nuzzled into Hood’s chest, content to stay there with him inside of her for hours.

ClassyGeneral leapt up off his chair as John Hood and his assigned pony walked in, Roseluck staring around the japanese-decorated command bridge with awe.

“Hood you Gajin!” ClassyGeneral raged as he stared at the mare next to the suited man. “Why have you disgraced my bridge with Equestrian hooves!”

Roseluck squeezed up against Hood’s legs in fear as the large samurai snorted and glared.

“We’re having babies,” she quietly mumbled, ClassyGeneral placing two armoured hands against his black faceplate.

“Bakayarou,” he muttered as John Hood’s eyes narrowed, the man able to understand all languages that used a currency system and/or had jews ruling them.

So in other words every language.

ClassyGeneral’s grey moustache twitched, alerting him to Hood staring at his very soul. Classy did not open his eyes, knowing that if her looked Hood would forever own his soul to spend on whatever he wished.

“I will not fall to you Oni!” The General declared as he kept his eyes covered while drawing his primary katana. “Out with you and your waifu, I wish to not see you in my bridge again or I will remove your head!” John Hood looked to Roseluck and shrugged, they were planning to spend most of their time in Hood’s lavish quarters anyway.

As soon as the doors shut ClassyGeneral opened his eyes and sighed. Good soldiers were hard to find these days. Hopefully Caledus would not be as insane as the previous fighters.

Walking back to his chair the twenty geishas attending him began to prepare sacred tea to calm his nerves. ClassyGeneral thought of his soothing beverage and already felt better until a memory graced his warrior mind.

Japanese tea ceremonies took hours, meaning it would be a while until he actually got to drink it.

“Aishi-au” he muttered as he reached for his bottle of sake instead.

Caledus The immortal Shows Clover The Clever True Chaos

“No Clover you imbecile! My silver tiara goes over there!”

Clover the Clever, advisor to Princess Platinum, sighed and ran a cream hoof through her green mane as she levitated the Princess’s tiara over to the indicated dresser. Why Platinum needed her to help her get undressed she didn’t know, all the princess wore was jewlery and a robe. Clover herself only had her simple brown cloak, the overworked mare rolling her eyes as Platinum daintily got into the large royal bed.

“Can I go now?” She asked wearily as the egotistical unicorn princess snuggled into the bed.

“No.” Platinum answered. “You are to stand guard at my side and ward off any monsters.”

“Princess,” Clover tried to reason. “Monsters aren’t real.”

Unfortunately Clover was proved wrong when a massive red orb crackled into life while blocking the door. Platinum hid under the covers and Clover pressed herself against the back wall as a massive metal boot stomped out of the portal. The first boot was followed by another as a eight-foot tall Biped in armour stepped out.

“Clop for the Clop God!” the figure bellowed causing Platinum to whimper. She peeked her head out to stare at the male figure dressed in black-and-gold armour. The being advanced on her with baleful red eyes glowing. She shot a bolt of magic at him but it bounced off his armour harmlessly. A large hand descended and quickly grasped her around the horn. The sheets were swept off the bed and onto the floor leaving Platinum naked and terrified.

“Wh-what do you want?” she shakily asked as Clover tried to stay as quiet as possible while watching the scene with wide eyes. The Biped leaned down towards Platinum and fixed her with a glare.

“I’ve traveled back through time to conquer ponies for the glory of the human race!” Platinum shivered, fearful of what this ‘conquering’ would entail if it required the monster’s presence in her bedchambers.

“I’m not that kind of mare!” Platinum whimpered with her ego overridden by fear. “I forbid you from touching my royal body!” Caledus the Immortal picked up the shivering mare and stared into her eyes.

“It is not you that has been chosen, wench!” With the insult Platinum was thrown against the wall, the unicorn managing to cushion her fall with her magic. She landed in a heap and curled up in a ball, hoping to avoid angering the creature again. Clover gulped as the monster turned to gaze at her. He ran his evil eyes over her cloaked form and seemed to snort in disappointment.

“M-me?” Clover asked as she pointed a hoof towards herself. The monster nodded and Clover dropped to her knees to beg.

“Why? I’m just a simple advisor!” Caledus the Immortal shook his head, he had his orders.

“You were chosen by Dropbear to be host to my chaotic length!” Caledus only had two volume settings, loud and louder. “I did not pick a pony to ‘cleanse’, therefore you were the one allocated to me! I have traveled back in time in order to ravage you and I intend to carry out my mission!” To say Clover was confused was an understatement.

“You traveled back in time to have your way with me?” Clover inquired with a tremble. “Why would this ‘Dropbear’ order such a thing?”

“Because he is an insane pervert and wanted to see you plowed senseless by a chaos lord! You should be flattered that he desires you to have such an experience!” This created more questions than answers for Clover.

“What do you mean he wanted to see?” She looked around trying to spot anyone hidden in the room. Caledus the Immortal chuckled an evil laugh.

“It is recorded and he saves it to his hard drive for future research. Also it pisses Classygeneral off so it’s win-win!” Clover eeped as she found herself picked up by the barrel and thrown onto the bed. “Enough questions! Chaos will triumph within your battlezone!” Clover gasped in shock as her brown cloak was ripped off to reveal a body that was actually not that bad.

Out of the biped’s shoulder a large speaker sprung forth and a very raunchy tune began to play to set the mood.

Youtube Video

Clover was more confused then aroused, something that Caledus sort to rectify only so that he could be done with this quicker and head off to slaughter children and other chaotic things. Platinum was suddenly picked up and had her muzzle thrust into Clover’s sex. The Princess’s eyes bugged out in surprise and shock as Caledus the Immortal began to rub her face against Clover’s now-dripping cunt.

“Ohhhh!” Clover moaned as Platinum was forcefully used to pleasure her, Caledus the Immortal not slowing as the snout of the ruler was used to great effect. Clover even found herself grabbing Platinum’s head with her forehooves and pushing the unicorn down deeper. She actually whimpered when the Princess was removed and tossed to the edge of the bed like a broken vibrator that had flat batteries.

Caledus the Immortal straddled Clover with his massive armoured bulk and pressed a button on his wrist causing his groin plate to lift up. A large purple schlong flopped out (because when you fall to chaos your genitals turn purple so the Inquisitors have an easier job) and smacked Clover’s dripping mound causing her to squirm. Platinum was too busy to intervene, trying to get rid of the taste on her tongue as she wiped her mouth against a pillow.

“Yes! My Daemonhood is at your gates!” Caledus cackled as he slipped into one of the rants that all Chaos Lords suffer from. Despite her sudden urge for him to continue, Clover eyed the massive purple cock with a concerned eye.

“Just go gentle, please?” she requested, Caledus shaking his head as the tip entered her causing the unicorn to moan.

“Chaos doesn’t do gentle! Chaos always goes in rough!”

With a grunt Caledus the Immortal thrusted in deeply, wedging his throbbing shaft halfway into the mare underneath him. Clover threw back her head and straddled his sides with her hind legs as Caledus admired his handiwork, the purple popsicle being suckled by the unicorn’s walls.

“Just like Abbadon’s crusade I have failed to penetrate all the way on the first try!” Another jerk of his hips fixed that problem, Clover orgasming onto the chaotic cock as the full length was sheathed inside of her. Caledus the Immortal didn’t blink as he was balls-deep within Clover, he had taken Hive Tyrants so a simple unicorn was nothing.

Yep, you did indeed just read what you thought you did and yes it does mean exactly what your filthy mind thinks it does.

“However,” Caledus continued as Clovers shivered and clenched around his chaos-hood. “Unlike Abbadon I succeeded on my second try, now I will use the method of steel rain!” Clover groaned in pleasure as Caledus the Immortal began to piston his hips back and forward. “Multiple and devastating deep strikes!”

Platinum sat on the bed and stared as the biped plowed Clover senseless, the Princess gobsmacked as her advisor voiced her approval at the rutting. The two’s hips smacked together and a wet slopping sound steadily increased in tempo and volume.

“Get ready to feel the warp Mortal!” Caldeus announced as Clover once again clenched around him. A almost demonic roar ripped from the biped’s throat as Clover felt her womb swell with chaos semen. The large phallus embedded in her prevented any of the fluid to escape so her stomach bulged a little with the sheer amount. Caledus the Immortal held himself inside of the mare for a few more moments as he picked up the shocked Platinum once more. Placing the Princess atop Clover so that her head was touching their joined sexs Caledus pulled out and shoved Platinum’s muzzle back into Clover.

Platinum’s cheeks bulged as they were filled with seed and Clover passed out from the sheer pleasure. Platinum soon couldn’t take any more and when Caledus released her head to get off the bed she spluttered as the rest of the chaotical cream flowed out of the sleeping Clover's snatch. Closing his groin plate, Caledus stood up and raised his fist to the roof, vanishing in a flash of red leaving the sleeping Clover and the seman-splattered Platinum behind.

Classygeneral sat in his chair with his head in his hands.

What had he just watched? His ancestors would be ashamed.

He was tempted to ask the Commissar and Dropbear just how they had sent a Chaos Lord back in time to forenicate with a random unicorn but knew that they would never tell him.

Bunch of honourless perverts, he was only in it because of the money and fame, not for personal desire.

Leaning back he checked his list, his heart sinking as he read the next names.

“KaBar41 x Faustcorn” he muttered. “Well, this will get us sued.”

KaBar Gives Fausticorn Some Sandwich Fillings

The doors to the Subhay franchise in the small town of Hooftopia opened and a large-hairless biped walked in causing the few patrons there for the early morning brekkie to stare in fear. The creature was dressed in a game-warden uniform with a black vest, a gun strapped across his chest. His eyes were hidden behind a pair of shades and a peaked-cap was on his head.

“Uh… Boss?” The single server mare called out, looking back towards the office as the biped stood in front off the counter. A tall pony walked out, a white-coated mare with her wings folded over her green subhay shirt. A name tag, ‘Fresh Fit’, was pinned on her chest. Her green hat sitting on her maroon mane hid her horn, no-one actually knowing that her real name was Faust (I’m so sorry, please don’t sue) and that she was a god. She had chosen to hide out in Subhay and pose as a manager to avoid all the fanatics that praised her name. She had to admit that the bits were a pretty good incentive as well, even gods need cash.

“What’s the problem Stay Thin?” Faust questioned, the teenage mare not-so-subtly moving her head towards the human that had walked in. Faust examined the creature with her sparkling blue eyes, the alicorn god knowing that it was a human because she was a god.

Deal with it.

“Can we get you a sandwich sir?” Faust inquired, able to smell that he was a male with her enhanced senses. Stay Thin mumbled something about restocking the tomatoes and quickly went out the back of the store while customers left the store taking their sandwiches with them.

“One thing first,” the human said in a voice with an accent that reminded Faust of customers from the southern parts of Equestria. “You are Faust, alicorn god of Equestria. Is this correct?” Fausticorn smiled a little and removed her hat to reveal her horn. She felt no need to hide her true form from the human and with a brief burst of magic she locked the doors to the storeroom and the main restaurant to prevent anypony from seeing.

“I am,” she answered. “Now would you like white bread or wholemeal?”

“Neither,” the human replied. “I have come from space to fuck you for the glory of human-kind.”

Faust was a goddess and thus was rarely confused. However, having a space-alien promptly declear that he intended to stick his six-inch sub into her toaster-oven for the good of his race definitely took the cake of confusing situations. A brief moment of silence was shared between the two as KaBar let the infomation settle in.

“...What?” Faust questioned, still not fully comprehending the full situation.

“I picked you to be my pony to screw,” KaBar informed as if talking to a child. “Dropbear said it was all good so now we’re going to fuck and make sandwich puns.” Faust gave up on trying to figure out the situation.

“Okay then, look Mister…?”

“KaBar41,” the human answered.

“Moving on Mister KaBar41,” Faust continued. “While your desire to pleasure me is a great compliment, an alicorn of my stature should not lower herself to such things.” Faust summoned a blue shield bubble nine-hundred and ninety-nine times more powerful than a TCB barrier around her. “I’m sorry but you’ll have to find another pony to help you bring glory to your race.”

Using his uber-l33t powers of Porn-logic KaBar simply ripped apart his shirt and used the glare from his ultra-white chest to pierce the barrier like it was nothing. Faust was gobsmacked as the human strolled towards her with his unmuscled but lean chest and tow perky nipples. KaBar halted a metre from the alicorn and placed his hands on his hips.

“Fausticorn,” he drawled. “We can do this two ways. I can use the combination of porn-logic and my game-warden holds to force you. What I would prefer would be for you to stop with the higher-than-thou attitude, get up on that counter there and then let me fuck your brains out.” Faust considered her options, it seemed like she didn’t have much of a choice. Also, she worked in a Subhay after all so it wasn’t like she could be any lower. Equestria doesn’t have Macdonalds.

Unlatching the door leading behind the counter she stepped back as the human walked towards her. She went to take off her uniform to keep it from getting dirty but as soon as she tried KaBar easily lifted her up and placed her on the serving counter next to the till.

Faust eeped as she found her front legs splayed on the counter and her rear facing back towards the shirtless human behind her. He seemed like the impatient type. Her wings shot straight up and she gasped as her tail was pulled aside and warm breath hit her slit. She collapsed forward as a tongue lapped up and down quickly, Faust biting her shirt’s collar to stop a moan escaping.

Her face quickly heated up at the stimulation, Faust didn’t want to admit it but it was her first time. Being a Goddess managing a Subhay franchise didn’t leave her with much time for socialising. Before long her hind hooves started to twitch as the licking continued, her erect wings jerking rapidly as the warm, wet tongue explored the interior of her pink walls. As the human burying his face into her licked her love-button she let out a girly squeal as she felt a feeling quickly built in her loins.

“I’m-oh, i’m about-” Faust found it hard to concentrate as tongue was extended deep into her. Her eyes unfocused and her whole body shuddered as she orgasumed for the first time in her long life. Her walls clenched the wet invader as Faust moaned into her shirt.

She came down after a few moments, her head collapsing onto the counter as she panted into the rack of napkins. A lewd slurping sound preceded the tongue withdrawing from her, Faust’s ears picking up the sound of a zipper being unzipped.

“Not as good as the Big Mac special sauce,” KaBar commented as Faust felt two hands knead her rump tenderly. “I suppose that it could have been worse.” Faust was unable to reply as she felt a long object poke her sopping wet nethers, the Alicorn biting down harder on her shirt. Her rear was amply lubricated, the head that entered her hot hole sliding in easily. The hands moved from her rump to her wings, Faust groaning as the sensitive limbs were rubbed while the cock continued into her.

KaBar slowly slid in, taking his time as he penetrated the alicorn. He was only half-way in when he hit a fleshy wall, the game warden looking down with surprise at the alicorn quivering beneath him.

Faust looked back towards him when he stopped, having felt him hit her hymen. She struggled to speak, the pleasure coursing through her body as her vag squeezed around the head and first bit of shaft inside of her churning her mind.

“Go ahead,” she mumbled out. “I have to deal with the lunchtime rush in four hours.” Her eyes widened as a loaf of white bread was shoved in her mouth, the alicorn gripping down on it with her teeth as the penis inside of her withdrew a little.

With a groan of half-pain half-pleasure, Faust felt the meat-sub break through her defences and sink right into her. Naked hips slapped against her rear as her virgin walls stretched around the intruder as the pain faded. She moaned into the bread-gag and panted while the human inside of her let her catch her breath.

As she adjusted to the length, feeling far more like a eight-inch than a six-inch inside of her, the alicorn lifted her head up again and nodded.

Faust squealed like a school-filly again as the cock was pulled out leaving only the head in before slowly sliding back in again. Her front hooves gripped the edge of the counter as the motions increased steadily. Soon the counter was rocking slightly and Faust was continually moaning as the human thrusted in again and again.

Her tail swished as the hands on her wings moved down to below her belly, the alicorn’s pleasure increasing as her breasts were fondled. A nipple was pinched and Faust found herself losing control, her mind blanking as she climaxed again. The thrusting continued as futher nipple pinches amplified her orgasum, the pony’s tongue flopping out as her stiff wings flapped.

The thrusting stopped, Faust briefly finding enough clarity to wonder if the human was done before she was picked up once more. Faust couldn’t resist and wouldn’t if she could as she was placed sitting down atop the trays holding the lettuce, tomatoes and the rest of the vegetables meant to go on subs.

Her back and wings were resting against the inside of the glass shield protecting the salad, her rear plopped in the tray holding grated carrot. She watched as the human drizzled thousand island dressing down her chest and her bread gag was removed. With the obstruction gone she was able to moan at full volume as the very same tongue that had been inside of her earlier trailed down her fur, lapping up the dressing while Faust’s hind legs kicked.

When the dressing reached her dripping sex the penis was once again lined up with her entrance, Faust placing her forelegs on KaBar’s shoulders as her hind ones wrapped around his naked waist. She pulled him in, sighing happily as she was once again stuffed with his bread-roll. Her slit slurpped around greedily it like a fat guy devours a sub loaded with four different kinds of cheese. She panted as the thrusting started again, more going into her in this position which only heightened her pleasure.

The rutting continued for a few more minutes before Faust felt the cock inside of her twitch. The pounding became more erratic, Faust sensing the human was close as she tightened her grip around him. She leaned her head forward and began to lap at his neck as she felt herself clench around him again.

“Would you like mayonnaise with that sub?” KaBar huffed out, Faust moving her mouth to his ear as she hugged him tight.

“I want extra mayonnaise,” she panted out, locking the game warden in a passionate kiss as she felt him tense up. Faust moaned deeply as she felt warm seed spill into her passage, the thrusting not pausing as it spurted out into her. She came for the fourth time and her juices joined with his, some of it drenching the tube of carrot as it flowed out of her.

Soon the flow and thrusting stopped, KaBar hilting inside of her as Faust broke the kiss and  caught her breath. The alicorn looked down at their joined sexes with a burning red face. Just what had she been missing out on during those long years? She shuddered again as the dick was slowly withdrawn from her snatch, when it was completely out white fluid dribbled out from her onto the tray. Faust weighed up her options, being a Subhay manager just didn’t seem exciting any more. her sparkling blue eyes looked with KaBar still wearing the dark shades.

“Uh, human,” she panted out. “About this whole glory to the human race thing…”

Geishas quickly scrambled to fetch more sake as ClassyGeneral waved his sword around in the air.

“No! No! Not another pony!” The General was glaring at the game warden and the alicorn still wearing her dirty subhay uniform as they stood in front of him on his command bridge.

“But John Hood got to keep his!” KaBar complained as Fausticorn nuzzled against his side lovingly. ClassyGeneral pointed the tip of his drawn katana towards the warden.

“I am afraid of no man!” the General retorted. “John Hood is no man, he is an Oni sent to plague me for my dishonour! I will not allow you to continue to fornicate with that thing while you are on my ship!”

“Hey, I’m not a thing!” Faust interrupted. “I’m a Goddess thank you!” Classy threw his arms up in the air as a geisha approached with a cup of alcohol.

“Great, now I have a Goddess aboard! I don’t care anymore!” With that he took the offered cup and downed it in one go before waving the geisha away to fetch another. “If Dropbear and the Commissar wish to turn this into a pony sex ship then good for them! Just stay out of my command bridge!”

KaBar went to raise a finger towards the raging General before a glare accompanied by a wave of the katana convinced him otherwise. Quickly he and Fausticorn left the bridge to his quarters, now their shared quarters. ClassyGeneral sat down with a sigh and checked his list, groaning as he saw the names.

“Happy x Big Mac,” he groaned before turning back to the geishas. “Forget the cup, bring me more bottles!”

Big Mac Attack - Happy Ending

X

It was a calm day at Sweet Apple Acres, a warm breeze flowing through the tree-tops accompanying the chirping of birds.

A loud thwack shattered the silence, the thundering of apples falling into perfectly placed buckets followed by a second thud.

Big Mac paused to wipe his brow, the stallion nodding his head as he stared at the wooden buckets full of fresh produce. Applejack was off saving the world from an evil cotton-candy demon and Applebloom was busy wasting time with her two friends, leaving Mac and Granny  the only two left on the farm.

Mac didn’t mind, he prefered the quiet and he had grown used to Applejack not being around. Granted, his workload had doubled but he was able to handle it fine. Lowering his head, Mac began to push one of the full buckets across the grass towards the barn. The barn, a traditional red, was already packed with carts loaded with apples. Grunting with effort, Mac pushed the bucket all the way to the back of the barn, a free spot in the darkest corner.

Just as he nudged the bucket into place, the barn doors slammed shut with a bang. Mac jolted in fright and turned around, but upon seeing nothing he shook his head. Darn wind was always causing the doors to close, however Mac swore that he had propped them open…

A faint chime echoed around the large barn, Mac’s head shooting up as he heard the tell-tale sound of unicorn magic. He glanced around, the shadows and gloom obscuring his vison and preventing him from finding the source.

“Hello?” Mac called out. “Is there anybody there? If you want to buy some apples I have some outside-”

A rake falling to the ground on his right caused Mac to whirl around, the large stallion peering into the darkness as he spotted a shadowy form.

“You can come out,” he said softly. “I ain’t going to hurt you, whoever you are.”

The figure walked out of the shadows, Mac’s eyes widening as he looked upon a white alicorn with a large smile.

“Princess Celestia?” Mac questioned, confused at the ruler’s behaviour and creepy grin. Despite the circumstances his parents had brought him up proper, the stallion bowing his head in respect.

Another chime of magic was the last thing he heard, before something clonked him in the back of the head and he found himself falling to the floor while his vision darkened.

Mac burst into wakefulness, his head throbbing with a dull ache. He tried to get to his hooves but he found his legs tied. Desperately he looked around, seeing that he was bound with rope over two wooden sawhorses. His forelegs tied to the front one and his hind legs were tied to the back, each leg trailing down the wooden legs with only his hind legs touching the dirt floor. He tried to call for help but it came out muffled, a full apple having been shoved in his mouth as a gag.

He started to struggle, rocking side to side in an attempt to unbalance the objects he was tied to. He was just starting to make progress before a sharp crack rang out, Mac’s eyes bulging as a stinging pain burnt on his left rump-cheek. He was unable to turn his head to look, but his tormenter revealed herself with a light giggle.

Mac’s mind was upheaved again as Celestia, Princess of Equestria, stepped around to stare him in the eyes. The Princess was brandishing a whip in her magic, Mac so puzzled at the situation that he just stared back. He felt that there was something… off about the Princess. Her hair was a light purple instead of multi-hued, her eyes were also of the same colour. Mac hadn’t met the Princess, but AJ had told him about her and the description didn’t match up.

“You’ve been a very naughty stallion,” the Celestia look-alike uttered suddenly. Mac  shuddered, her voice was devoid of kindness and in it’s place was only lust. That same, haunting grin remained in place as the whip was brought down again onto the same spot as before. Mac teared up and screamed again, only the apple in his mouth preventing the entire town of knowing his pain.

“Whgt dpf you wagth?” Mac questioned through his gag as he fought the pain.

“What do I want?” the alicorn asked back cheerily as she absentmindedly twirled her whip. “Well, what I want is to molest you, so there’s that.” Mac did a double-take and gulped in shock. Did he just hear what he thought he heard?

“... Whgt?”

“Oh this is going to be fun,” the alicorn giggled as she dropped the whip to levitate a black suitcase over towards her from the darkness of the barn. Mac sighed in relief when the whip was forgotten, relief that was short lived. The alicorn popped the clasps on the case and Mac was met with a plethora of objects revolving around the carnal nature, numerous dildos and strap-ons amongst them. To say he was a little apprehensive was like saying Applejack was only a little interested about apples and apple-related products.

“How should we start? I’m Happy by the way.” The alicorn, evidently named ‘Happy’, began to browse her items with a hoof. “Now, start off slow or just go for full-on, succulent butt-sex? So many choices and so little time.” Mac renewed his struggling, unlike his cousin in Appleoosa, he did not desire a hoe-down in his barnyard.

“Nom!” was all he managed to get out, his gag preventing him from telling the strange pony no. It didn’t look like she was that sympathetic, Happy’s grin growing wider.

“Nom you say?” she replied while ignoring Mac’s head shake. “You want me to nom on something first? I can work with that, of course I’ll expect you to return the favor.”

Mac was confused, what did she mean by that? He received his answer shortly, a muffled gasp escaping his mouth as the pony ducked underneath him and a wet tongue lapped at his sheath and sack.

His face flushed red as the licking continued, his hind legs twitching as he grew in the torturer’s mouth. Her lips had wrapped around and was in the process of suckling his meat plow, a joyful murmuring emanating from the mare as she enthusiastically gobbled his pole.

The task continued for a minute, Happy managing to fit his entire girth into her mouth with the tip just touching the back of her throat. Mac had always been embarrassed about his tiny penis, contrary to the popular opinion that he was not just big in body-size. He still couldn’t live down the first time that AJ had laughed at his small dick, it hurt even more coming from his own sister. Happy didn’t seem to mind the small size, the mare beginning to skillfully work her throat like a vacuum.

Yep, Happy is certainly a grade-A cocksucker.

Big Mac tensed as he felt an overwhelming feeling shoot through him, his muscles tightening as a tingling built up in his testicals. Happy must have sensed the impending splooge harvest, her tongue frantically licking the tip of Mac’s yogurt gun.

Mac grunted into his gag as his seed gushed out in a torrent of white, Happy gulping it all down without spilling a single drop. Her tongue continued to work after he had finished, cleaning up all the reminder and ensuring that nothing was remaining. With a plop the mare let his shrinking girth fall out of her mouth, Mac shivering as the cool air touched it’s wet surface.

“Now you have to do the same for me,” Happy sang while licking her lips. “Close your eyes, Maccy Mac!” Big Mac refused, shaking his head defiantly. Happy sighed, pouting at him before she retrieved a black cloth from her case with her magic. “Okay then, this is going to be more fun anyway!”

Mac tried to struggle but it was futile, the cloth going over his eyes to cut off his vison. He was left unable to see as Happy seemed to go through her case, the noise of objects being sorted through his only means of guessing what was going on.

“Oh, this one will do nicely.”

Mac didn’t know why, but there was something in Happy’s tone that sent chills down his spine. He heard the clinking of straps before hoofsteps approached him.

“Say ah.”

Mac found his gag removed, the stallion getting over his shock and opening his now free mouth to cry for help.

“Somepo-” He was cut off as a large object was thrust into his mouth, Mac gagging as the long, phallas-shaped object was shoved down his throat to hit the back. He franticly breathed through his nose as a pair of hooves pushed down on his shoulders.

“Now now,” Happy said as she wiggled forward, only stopping when Mac could feel her fur against his mouth. “No talking without my say-so, big boy.” Mac got his gagging under control  just before the smooth, plastic strapon began to move back and forward slowly. Happy’s pace increased steadily as she began to enthusiastically fuck his face like a pro. Her hooves held her upright, the tip of the black strapon almost leaving Mac’s mouth before slamming all the way in. Mac could only breath through his nose as the actions intensified, the scent of an aroused mare growing stronger as time went on.

It lasted five minutes, Happy slowing down and leaving herself pressed up against him.

“That was… was fun,” she panted out, Mac’s girth twitching again as it grew, With her crotch right near his nose he could smell that she was having a good time, Mac wondering if she had her fill of him. “Time for the final part, my favorite.”

Evidently Happy was not yet done, her strap-on sliding out of Mac;s mouth with a wet shlick. Mac tried to call for help again, but his throat was sore from the brutal face-fucking that he had been given so all that came out was a wheeze. His blindfold was removed, the cloth fluttering to the ground to reveal the sight of Happy standing on her hind legs in front of him. Mac got a full glimpse of the long, black strapon coated with his saliva before Happy dismounted, her hooves leaving his tired shoulders.

She flashed him a grin before walking around to the left, Mac unable to see where she had gone. He got his answer when a wieght settled across his back, smooth fur lying atop his as a tongue flicked his ear.

“You ready to become my little mare, Mac-attack?” Happy questioned as Mac felt a shape prod at his rear paddock. “I’m going to core you like and apple and thrust deep into your fruit-basket. You know why I chose you out of all the ponies on this planet?”

Mac gulped and shook his head, tensing up and closing his eyes in preperation for what was to come.

“Simple,” Happy continued as she moved her hips back slightly. “Apples always go well with… pork!”

As she yelled the word ‘pork’, Happy thrusted into Mac’s secluded orchard.

“Eeyup!” Mac grunted out as half of the dildo wedged inside him on the first thrust. Happy whinnied in enjoyment before making a series of short, sharp thrusts that wedged the toy further and further into his harvest moon. Mac’s mind flashed white as more and more  strapon invaded him, until he felt Happy’s hips against his.

“Eeyup indeed,” Happy cooed as she relished the feeling of hilting inside the stallion, her juices dripping around the toy to land upon Mac’s rump. Mac grunted and groaned as she began to slowly move in and out, his anus continuing to clench around the intruder.

Mac received the plowing of his life, Happy merrily plundering his virgin butthole to her heart’s content. She was having a far better time than he was, the stimulation pushing her to the edge. She paused right before she was about to explode, her magic fumbling with the strap on’s clasps. She released them all, the toy remaining hilted inside Ma as she dismounted. Mac panted, too overwhelmed by pain and embarrassing pleasure to comment.

“Time to finish it,” Happy huffed out, maneuvering so that she was under the trapped stallion.  Lining up her back-end with Mac’s baby-baster, she licked the underside of his neck. “I want all of your applesauce, spread it in me like i’m your sister, you filthy inbred hick!” Despite his burning rear, Mac jolted at the failed attempt at dirty talk. He was just about to protest the implication that he fornicated with AJ but he could onyl gasp as Happy buried him inside of her.

The warmth and tightness was almost worth the face-fuck and the anal-devastation.

Almost.

Happy let out a satisfied moan and began to bounce her rump against his groin, her foal-hole squeezing Mac’s Whopper with regularity. Mac’s tongue lolled out as he approached his end, Happy also nearing the finish.

“Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck!” the mare cursed, before her head bumbed against Mac’s chest. “I’m not Smiles!” she screamed out as her mare-jizz coated Mac’s shaft.

“Buy some Apples!” Mac joined in, pumping spurt after spurt of gooey applesauce sauce into Happy’s womb. The two stayed connected as Mac finished, Happy pulling away and standing in front of him as Mac panted.

“Sorry Mac,” Happy apologised. Mac looked up, the mare levitating a shovel above her head as white fluid dripped from her behind. “But I just have to do this.”

Mac closed his eyes as the shovel was brought down once, twice, thrice upon his head, the third blow knocking him unconscious again.

ClassyGeneral reajusted his armour as he exited the bathroom into one of the many grey corridors of the ship, having just dropped a massive bomb that could have wiped out a city.

“Sun tzu's second rule of the art of war,” he muttered as he did up a final clasp. “Never eat gajin baked beans for breakfast.” He wiped his bloodshot eyes, the General keen for bed and the embrace of his attendants. He was just about done with all of these ponies, Kabar having gone around bragging and showing off Faust to all the crew. There were murmers of many of the yet-to-be-deployed members wishing to bring back their targets, Classygeneral sighing as he reached the door of his personal quarters.

He vowed to have no more onboard, at this rate they’d have enough to start a pony-brothel. In space.

“Hi Classy!” Classygeneral froze as he heard Happy’s voice behind him. The pony had been  a scourge upon the entire HAS organisation since she had joined their ranks. Knowing he’d regret it, Classy turned around and prepared for annoyance.

He was met with the sight of Happy smiling merrily, a bound, red stallion attached to a leash behind her. Classy noticed that the large pony was completly out of it, no reaction as his head was bounced against the metal floor.

“I picked up a souvenir from the planet,” the mare informed with a grin, “Is that going to be a problem?” Classy noticed that the stallion seemed to have something inserted into his anus, a large black dildo attached to a black harness.

Classy didn’t reply, the General slowly opening his door and ducking inside, slamming it shut  in Happy’s face.

“I’ll take that as a ‘it’s okay with me’! Happy shouted out through the door before hoofsteps signalled her departure, joyful humming accompanied by the sound of a dragging body leaving in the oppisite direction.

Classy glanced towards his collection of fifty-nine katanas mounted on his wall. With one, he could end the lives of all the scum on the ship.

Well, aside from John Hood of course, Classy wasn’t that suicidal.

“I need more to drink.” Classy murmered as he pressed his back against the door, dreading what the next day would bring.

Where No Redshirt Has Gone Before...

“Those fucking jerks…”

A biped pulled itself up from the snowy ground from where he had crashed down, the human brushing the snow off of his red Starfleet uniform. His hand went to his phasor, the tactical officer holding it out in front of him warily. The others may have wanted to bang ponies, his refusal the reason for his violent ejection from the ship, but not him.

Redshirt had eyes only for one, a human.

“Patlestia, guide me,” he mumbled, beginning to stumble through the snow. He had to find shelter, the harsh winter winds whipping his neatly combed brown hair into a mess unfit for the service of Starfleet.

On and on he trudged, black boot meeting winter snow, Redshirt never pausing for a break. Soon a snow storm began to develop, snowflakes falling like a Klingon bombardment.

His persistence paid off, a small town appearing in the distance. It was covered with a shimmering dome, the area inside appearing to be sunny and warm.

“Ponies,” Redshirt muttered under his breath. However, the town was his only option, Redshirt manning up and continuing his journey. The memory of Patlestia’s gigantic boobs drove him forwards, the will to survive growing stronger and stronger.

Just as icicles were beginning to form on the end of his noise, Redshirt stumbled through the barrier and onto a grassy field. Thanking sweet Spock that he hadn’t been eaten by a snow gribbly, he knelt down and kissed the grass, his bones already warming in the sunlight. Forgetting where he was, Redshirt lay down and relaxed. His legs ached from the walk, and the mix of exhaustion and warmth made him incredibly sleepy.

Before he knew it, he was out like a light. In his slumber, he missed the four-legged figures walk out of their crystalline homes and approach him.

“What is it?”

“I don’t know, but whatever it is it’s male.”

“How can you tell, sure it looks masculine, but it is an unknown creature.”

“Look at it’s crotch, those tight pants don’t hide much.”

Redshirt, having slowly started to wake up at the female voices, jolted awake when something prodded his ‘Fun Phaser’.

“What in the name of the Federation!” he cried, sitting upright to come face-to-face with ten ponies. All of them appeared to be female, and seemed to have shiny coats and manes. One of them, possessing a diamond coat, ruby mane and sapphire eyes, drew her hoof back from his groin and gazed in wonder.

“It can talk!” she exclaimed with wonder, another mare with a bronze coat giving a thoughtful hum while she examined Redshirt.

“It can,” she mused. “Does that mean we can fuck it?”

“...What?” Redshirt uttered, slowly getting to his feet and reaching for his phasor while the mares all debated whether he was suitable for their needs. He cursed under his breath when he realised that his phasor was not in it’s holder. ‘It must have fallen out in the snow!’

“Look girls, he’s tall!” Redshirt turned his attention back to the ponies, the females oohing and aahing at his height. Raising his hands, Redshirt began to back away carefully towards the edge of the dome.

“Okay, ponies, before you get the wrong idea, i’m not like those other humans you may have heard about. I already sort of have a girlfriend-”

“Tough luck,” the lead mare interrupted, a hungry look in her shining blue eyes. “I don’t know what the Princess was thinking when she ordered ten, young mares to live in a small village to test a new crystal heart, but what I do know is that i’ve gone for too long without a nice stallion. Unlike Equestria, we can’t all be into other girls.”

Redshirt started to panic when the ponies began to circle him, their eyes all locked on him with lust firmly on their minds.

“I get dibs first on his dick,” the Diamond coated one claimed.

“I get his mouth,” the bronze mare bagged, brushing her onyx mane out of her brown eyes.

“His claw… things!” two others called out, both seeming to be twins with pink coats, azure manes and golden eyes.

Redshirt did what any self-respecting Starfleet Ensign did when they had been sent out to die. He stood tall, proud, facing his tormentors to enact his primary goal.

He screamed, like a bitch.

“Ohmyfuckinggod, no!” he cried, turning tailing and bolting for the snowy wasteland. “Death is preferable to pony smex!”

Redshirt ran for his life and virginity, his arms and legs pumping like the fastest black athlete in the sprints. He blazed through the snow, desperate to find somewhere to hide. He was in luck, a snowy hill to his left.

Panting, he dived behind it and looked backwards, seeing no mares in pusuit.

“Jeez that was close,” he huffed, reaching a hand to his communicator. “This is Redshirt to the *sigh*, H.A.S Shagwag. Come in ClassyGeneral, I am in need of assistance.”

“This is ClassyGeneral, what is the-” a loud ruckus and squelching sound cut off the General.

“Oh my God, what the fuck is Happy doing to Big Mac!?” a panicked, southern voice cried out.

“Shamefur dispray! Not on my Command Bridge!”

“Hey Comrades, what is with all of the nois- Ohhh! I didn’t know that you could fit a chair leg in there!”

“Dropbear! Rectify this problem, immediately!” Classy ordered, a snigger coming from the ordered… thing.

“Talking about rectums-”

“No jokes! Redshirt, call back later!”

With a click the comms channel shut off, not even the cries of Big Mac remaining to keep him company.

“I’m all alone,” he muttered to himself, the gravity of the situation sinking in. He slumped back against the snowy hill, covering his head with his hands. “Alone…”

“Think again, handsome.” Redshirt whirled around, the voice of the diamond mare calling out. Slowly, ever so slowly, he looked up to find a set of blue eyes leering into his very soul. “Ahhh, I do love a good run before a rut.”

“Nope.” Redshirt tried to get up and run, but just as he got to his feet a stampede of hooves rounded the corner of the hill. The rest of the mares dived on him, tackling him to the ground despite his attempts to break free.

“Take him back to the base,” the leader ordered, Redshirt sticking a hand up into the air as ponies pulled and tugged.

“No! I’m not Kirk! Stop!”

His pleas went unheeded, his arm being pulled down under the mass of mares before they moved as a single mass, dragging him to the dome.

“Legego! Legego!” Redshirt tried to talk, but it was muffled by the jade hoof in his mouth. The mare smiled at him, the ponies dropping him onto the grassy field once again.

“Ladies,” leader mare spoke up. “The sooner we disrobe him, the sooner we can scratch our carnal itch-”

“Carn!?” Redshirt managed to spit out the hoof for a second. “KHAN!”

“No talking!” the jade mare ordered, before she stuck her hoof back in and made sure it wasn’t coming out.

“Indeed, less talk, more sex,” the ringleader demanded. “Remove his pants.”

Redshirt’s eyes bugged out, the pony twins tugging at his black uniform pants. His boots were quickly removed, followed by his Scotty socks. Next came the pants, leaving him in only his plain white y-fronts.

“Two pants?” The twins both asked incredulously, rollling there eyes at him. “Are you trying to make this difficult?”

“Yerrg, I yam!” he tried to speak, but the hoof stayed in firm.

“Oh for the sake of the Heart,” the leader of the pack huffed, clasping the edge of the undies in her mouth before yanking them off. Despite the warm sunlight, Redshirt shivered when his privates were exposed to the air. “See, it wasn’t that difficult?” she continued, spitting the broken undies out to the side.

“Is… is it broken?”

All of the mares crowded around, staring at the limp photon torpedo that Redshirt was packing. The jade mare leaned forward and prodded it with her nose, Redshirt trying to hold back a grunt while his ensignhood twitched.

“Do it again, everyone!” the leader ordered. The ponies moved forward as one, bumping their snouts against his junk. It slowly started to harden, after all, he may had been a redshirt and they ponies….

But he was a man, goddamn it!

The mares giggled, a few sticking out their tongues to lap at the rapidly hardening phallus. Redshirt shut his eyes and tried to think of happy thoughts, a warm mouth covering the tip of his dick while the licking continued.

With a plop, the hoof blocking his mouth came free, allowing him to yell for assistance.

“Help! Rap-”

His cries were cut off by a wet slit being pushed down upon his mouth, the jade mare cooing as she lay down on his chest and squirmed.

“Oh yeah,” she panted out, grinding her mound against him. “Go on, lick me like a snowcone.” Redshirt, unable to speak or move, stayed defiant and did nothing. The mare grunted with frustration, the leader raising her eyes up to stare at the situation. A wet plop sounded when she took her mouth off of Redshirt’s now hard tool, her hooves grabbing his balls and keading them.

“Lick her, or I squeeze them til they pop,” the leader threatened, starting to exert pressure upon the sack.

Not wanting his testicals to be annhilated into the Klingon sectors, Redshirt squeezed his eyes shut and licked. A shudder ran down both him and the jade mare, the pony he was servicing letting out a throaty moan of pleasure at his tongue.

‘Why the Hell does it taste like lime?’ he thought, trying to focus on anything to take his mind off the fact that he was being raped by ponies. He kept licking, the threat of squashed balls a great motivation.

“Now, where was I?” the leader mumbled with a grin, using her hoof to push away the other mares. The display of the jade mare moaning with bliss as she was eaten out caused all of the females present to fidget, the leader’s puffy pink pussy winking with anticipation. Grinning, the leader mounted Redshirt, propping her forelegs on the withers of the jade mare so that her sopping wet love tunnel was over Redshirt’s commander’s log.

Taking the time to properly line up, the leader lowered her hips down and sank halfway.

“The advantages of getting first dibs,” she groaned out, Redshirt completely freezing as she sank lower and lower. Her tight passage squeezed him all the way down until she hilted, the rest of the mares taking up other positions.

The jade mare, disappointed that the tongue had stopped, grunted and sat up, shoving her slit against his mouth again. The tongue began to move again, if only so he could continue breathing. The leader, her head back in bliss from the penetration, moved her forehooves to Redshirt’s chest before she began to bounce. She rode him, starting slow but gradually getting faster and faster.

Redshirt’s mind was so clouded with forced pleasure that he barely noticed the two twins sit themselves down on his hands, filling themselves with his fingers. Other mares rubbed themselves against his bar legs and arms, all eager for their turn.

“Oh yes, oh yes!” the leader moaned, her groin slapping against his as her pace increased. “Totally. Worth. The. Wait.” she panted, her face flustered as she felt pressure rise up.

“Nrggh!” the jade mare groaned through clenched teeth, a torrent of mare juices flowing out of her as she orgasumed. While Redshirt tried to spit out the marecum, the jade mare rolled onto her side and panted in her afterglow. Seeing the opening, the bronze mare removed her dripping cunt from his left arm and sat down on his face, grinding her lower lips against his face in order to encourage him to lick. The Jade mare was done for the time being, and lovingly embraced his head while she watched him orally service her friend.

“Cadence’s floppy titties!” the leader screamed out as she came on his dick, riding out her orgasim and drenching his cock with her fluids. Her clenching walls pushed Redshirt over the edge, his eyes closing as he felt his seed about to release.

‘Please, anyone,’ he thought. ‘Save me from this fate. My seed is only for Patlestia.’

Time seemed to slow, all sensations fading while a bright light filled Redshirt’s mind. Slowly, majestically, the manly form of Scotty appeared. Scotty had crumbs on his double chin and his hands raised like Jesus, a fatherly and warm gaze looking down at Redshirt.

“Redshirt, me son,” Scotty began, Redshirt mentally weeping tears of joy while he prepared to receive his wisdom. “I’mma here to save ye sorry arse, now listen closely-”

“Shining Armour’s a whore!”

Scotty’s advice was cut off when the leader mare screamed again, her walls clenching once more.

“It’s nah good!” Scotty began, fading away back into the darkness. “She canna take any more!”

“Fire the photon torpedos!” Redshirt grunted into the quivering pussy covering his mouth, his phaser cannon quivering as it shot spurt after spurt of hot Federation jizz into the awaiting womb of the leader mare. She moaned even louder, clenching her teeth and grinding her groin against his as she steadily filled with spunk.

It was over in seconds, the diamond mare panting with bliss while she rolled off of him. The bronze mare using his mouth shuddered and used her hoof to muffle a moan, her own orgasim happening. Redshirt coughed and spluttered when her body left his, the other mares abandoning his fingers and limbs.

“Is… is it over?” he wearily asked, breathing heavily while he gazed up at the sky. Two warm, wet tongues lapping at his softened cock caused alarms to ring in his head, more tongues joining in as they cleaned his fingers. The jade mare who was cuddling his head leaned over and forced her mouth over his, her tongue forcing its way inside of his mouth and tasting her own juices.

“Oh, it’s not over until we want it to be over,” the leader informed, resting on her side and watching as one of the twins climbed over the now-erect penis. “And let me tell you, we’re all going to want a turn, and i’ll definitely be coming back for seconds.”

Redshirt wailed a desperate cry into the bronze mare’s mouth, just before the first twin enveloped his Enterprise with her welcoming docking bay.

“Just look at them go, eh.”

Patlestia stared at the scene playing out on the viewing screen, the helpless Redshirt covered with a mass of horny pony mares. The sister of battle bit her lower lip, something about the fact that her not-so-secret admirer was currently being raped by a horde of crystal pony mares was just… incredibly hot.

“A soldier, fallen in battle,

His virginity,

Taken by a pony horde”

Classy downed another cup of sake, reaching for the bottle.

“That’s just hilarious, eh,” Patlestia commented, secretly admiring the General’s haiku skills.

“Hey, are we just going to stand here while our comrade is ravaged by those not loyal to El Presidente?” Classy and Patlestia turned, the half-changeling half-tropical dictator that was Dropbear standing behind them with his eyes glued to the screen and a smile on his face.

That same, unchanging smile that haunts the nightmares of Tropican rebels and changeling-haters alike.

“There is nothing we can do for him!” Classy explained, throwing down his sake cup in anger. It clattered against the metal floor, the geishas scrambling to pick it up and replace it.

“My friend, have faith in El Presidente,” Dropbear reassured, the hybrid reaching around behind him.

“For the last time, you are not a island ruler!” Classy yelled, standing up from his command throne and drawing his katana. The angry asian swayed on his feet, having consumed enough sake to intoxicate an entire high school. Dropbears face didn’t change.

It never does.

Shocking the drunk general and the turned-on Sister of Battle, the changeling hybrid pulled out a bright yellow super-soaker from behind his back.

“Rebel scum, get off my island!”

“We… are on a ship, my ship-” Classy began, before a blast of water mixed with lemon juice impacted his face. The katana dropped, Classy rubbing his eyes while they burned. “Trickery! A shamefur dispray!”

“Adieos, I have a Redshirt to save!” Dropbear farewelled, his super-secret changeling-presidente teleporting powers activating. In a flash of yellow, red and green he was gone, the Tropican national anthem playing in his wake.

“Shit just got serious, eh,” Patlestia observed, turning back to the screen to watch while Classy cursed Dropbear with all of his might.