Life in Prison

“Rise and shine, ladies!” Roared a voice from out in the hallway.

Twilight groaned. “Five more minutes…” She mumbled, pulling the pillow over her head. The fabric felt like sandpaper.

“C’mon, Twilight – they get really mad when you don’t wake up on time.” Came the voice of Pinkie Pie, shaking Twilight. “Besides – it’s a big big day ahead!”

“Tell the big big day that it can wait five more minutes.” Twilight grumbled, but got up anyways. She yawned, and shoved a fist into her back, getting the cracks out; she would have probably been more comfortable sleeping on the steel floor.

“Let’s go, let’s go!”  Roared a guard, throwing open their cell door. “C’mon, you two, up ‘n at ‘em! I ain’t goin’ easy on you because it’s your first day, Sparkle!”

“Sir yes sir.” The still groggy Twilight mumbled, following the guard.

One crowded elevator ride later, Twilight followed the small crowd of prisoners towards the cafeteria at the far end of the ground floor. They entered, and Twilight noticed it looked no different than a high school cafeteria: picnic tables, crowded and cramped with people.

“C’mon, Twily! You can sit with me and my gang!” Pinkie said, smiling. “You don’t want to sit alone around here.”

Twilight didn’t object, as the two entered the lunch line. The line shuffled forward, and Twilight took the opportunity to look at some of the other prisoners.

There was a girl in a straightjacket, being fed by a bored-looking nurse. The prisoner was barking like a dog.

There was a woman with electric blue hair, and burning red eyes. She winked at Twilight.

And over there… Twilight’s eyes widened. A green-haired girl had another girl in a headlock.

“What’choo say about mah ponies, you bitch?!” the green-haired girl roared, as the other girl’s face turned blue.

Then the green-haired girl’s eyes rolled back in her head, and she fell to the ground, releasing the other girl. A guard stood behind her, holding a taser. The guard dragged the violent girl off, as the other girl rubbed the bruises around her neck, and headed back to her seat.

“Yeah, don’t criticize Lyra.” Pinkie said, and Twilight turned back to her. “She’s obsessed with cartoon ponies, and anyone who insults her for it gets their ass beat.”

“Ponies? Who’d be obsessed with ponies at this age?” Twilight said, giggling slightly.

“Yeah, only weirdos like ponies!” Pinkie laughed.

(Meanwhile, in another dimension, a thousand bronies glared at their computer screens.)

“Looks like we’re nearly to the front of the line.” Twilight observed, looking forward.

“Oh boy! I hope it’s cupcakes!” Pinkie stated.

The two picked up plastic trays, and slid them sideways along a rack. More bored-looking guards dumped lumps of red goo onto their trays, accentuated with disposable plastic cups filled with water, and plastic spoons.

“Aww, chili again?” Pinkie whined as the two exited the line. “What’s a girl have to do to get a good cupcake around here?”

“Darling!” came a slightly accented voice. Twilight looked up to see one of the prisoners waving at them.

“Hey! Twilight, c’mon, I want you to meet my gal-pals!” Pinkie said, pulling Twilight along with the crook of her elbow and almost making Twilight drop her tray.

The two reached the table, and sat down on the benches attatched to each side. Twilight saw that there were four other women at this table. Of course, they were all wearing the orange prison jumpsuits.

The first woman, the one who had waved, had skin white as snow, and luscious purple hair. How she had it curled after spending who knows how long in prison, Twilight had no idea. Twilight also couldn’t understand how she had purple eyeshadow and lipstick on. Even her immaculate nails were painted a dark shade of purple. Twilight noticed that on her ring finger, this woman also had a golden band, like Twilight did.

“Hey, you’re a mage too!” Twilight said, smiling.

“What? Oh, yes, I suppose I am.” The woman said, looking at her ring. “These magic-inhibitors often make me forget that I have magic at all.” She stretched her hand across the table. “A pleasure to meet you. I am Rarity.” The woman stated, smiling. Twilight shook her hand, also smiling.

“Bah, don’t pay any attention to missy froo-froo over there!” Said the second woman at the table, seated next to Twilight. She nudged Twilight with her shoulder.

The second woman had magnificent rainbow-colored hair. How it was colored like that, Twilight had no idea – she’d probably paid a mage to alter it. Also, her hair was scruffy, and she had rather beautiful magenta colored eyes. Her nose was a tiny bit crooked, like it had once been broken, and reset. By the looks of her face, she was probably latino.

“I’m Rainbow Dash!” Stated the rainbow-haired woman, clapping Twilight on the back. “And I’m WAY better then fancy-pants over there! Fastest angel in the world!”

“Oh, you’re an angel?” Twilight asked, looking at Rainbow’s back. Sure enough, two lumps were concealed under her jumpsuit; her wings.

“Hell yeah!” Rainbow stated, grinning widely. “Angels are way better than you magic users, or you grounders who don’t have any powers at all.”

“Hey! I LIKE being a grounder!” Pinkie said, frowning as she ate her chili. “I’m way stronger than you’ll ever be!”

“Strength’s got nothing on speed, Pinkie baby!” Rainbow said, rolling her shoulders.

“Please ignore them, they tend to bicker like this.” Rarity said to Twilight as Rainbow and Pinkie had a back-and-forth conversation. “Allow me to introduce you to the other two members of our group.”

“Why don’t they introduce themselves?” Twilight questioned.

“Well… neither of them is very talkative.” Rarity gestured to the tanned woman next to her. “This here is… well, she never actually reveals her real name, so we just call her by her code name: AJ.”

AJ, who’d been eating her chili, paused. Twilight saw that AJ had messy blonde hair, like straw, which was tied up with a scrunchie at the end.

AJ looked straight at Twilight, who gasped. AJ had a massive scar, going from a little above her right eyebrow down to the right edge of her lips. The huge scar went clear across AJ’s right eye. Her right eye was dull and milky, obviously blind.

AJ nodded at Twilight, without saying a word, before turning back to her food.

“What happened to her eye?” Twilight said quietly to Rarity. AJ gave no indication that she’d heard the question.

“Nobody really knows, dear; she rarely talks, and when she does, it’s only a sentence or two.” Rarity said, shrugging.

“Why doesn’t she talk?” Twilight asked.

“I’m really not sure. Sorry.” Rarity said quietly, frowning at her chili. “Ugh! A lady should not have to resort to eating such filth!”

As Rarity struggled to choke down her food, Twilight leaned back, looking behind Rainbow Dash to the final member of the group. The last girl had long pink hair, which reached past her shoulders, and was quite skinny. She was gently eating her chili, and her eyes darted around nervously.

“Hello.” Twilight said to the pink-haired girl. The pink-haired girl squeaked, and recoiled from Twilight, almost falling off her end of the bench. She stared at Twilight with frightened teal eyes, looking as though Twilight was a tyrannosaur about to devour her. She shrunk back, as though trying to hide behind her long hair.

“I’m Twilight Sparkle… What’s your name?” Twilight asked, smiling. The pink-haired girl looked at her, then quickly turned back to her food, determinedly not looking at Twilight.

“Don’t bother trying to get a word out of Fluttershy.” Rainbow Dash said, straightening Twilight back up; apparently, she’d finished arguing with Pinkie. “She talks even less than AJ – she’s only said one word since she got here!”

“Really? Wow.” Twilight said, raising an eyebrow. “What did she say?”

“Just her name.” Rainbow stated. “On her first day here, she told me it while we were in bed.”

“You two share a cell?” Twilight said, her tone surprised.

“Heck yea! And lemme tell you, from firsthand experience: she may be shy, but Flutters here is a DEMON in the sack. I mean, just look at these titties!” Rainbow reached out a hand and grabbed one of Fluttershy’s rather large breasts, causing the shy girl to squeak in surprise.

“I suppose they are… big.” Twilight said, blushing.

“I know, right? And at rec time, me and AJ sneak into the bushes, and WHOO-WEE! You wouldn’t believe dat ass she has!” Rainbow said, grinning and winking at AJ, who didn’t look at her.

“Rainbow, you’re so perverted. Show some dignity, will you.” Rarity said, frowning.

“C’mon, Rarity, we’re all lesbians here. Men aren’t exactly plentiful around these parts.” Rainbow said, rolling her eyes.

Was it just a trick of the light, or did Twilight glimpse a smile flicker across Rarity’s face?

Twilight’s attention was drawn away, though, by a disturbance. “Hey, newbie!” Twilight turned to come face to face with a rock-hard abdomen. Her face slowly tilted up.

Staring down at the seated Twilight was a very tall, very muscular girl. Her hair was white and spiky, and she had a hooked nose like a beak. Her skin was a dark brown color.

“So you’re the new one, eh?” The tall girl said, grinning wickedly at Twilight. “I’m Gilda, and don’t you forget it.”

“Gilda, go away. We’re trying to eat.” Dash said, eating another spoonful of chili.

“Funny you should say that: I already FINISHED eating.” Gilda said. “Fortunately, I heard that Pinkie Pie felt like donating to the Gilda Hunger Fund.”

“What? I didn’t – HEY!” Pinkie cried out as Gilda’s huge hand swooped down and picked up her chili. Gilda shoved the food into her mouth, swallowing the entire lump in one massive gulp.

“Honestly, darling, use a napkin. You have sauce all over your mouth.” Rarity admonished, rolling her eyes.

“Oh shut up, hairy.” Gilda barked, rolling her eyes.

“The name is RARITY.” Rarity growled.

“Yeah, whatever.” Gilda said, turning back to Twilight. “Anyways, newbie, you haven’t passed initiation yet, have you.”

“Initiation? W-what do I need to do for that?” Twilight asked nervously.

“Breathe.” Gilda said, and before Twilight could react, Gilda’s massive hands were around her throat, cutting off her oxygen supply. Twilight coughed and gagged, clawing at the iron fingers around her neck. She could hear voices through her ears, growing fainter and fainter as her vision was tinged with red…

Then Twilight gasped; she could breathe again. As Twilight gulped in fresh air, her vision cleared, and she saw two figures on the floor: one was Gilda, the other…

“Ah can break your neck with one flex of a muscle.” AJ said in a bland, monotone voice; to Twilight’s surprise, she had a southern accent. She had Gilda in a one-armed headlock, and the larger girl was flailing like a fish out of water, trying to remove AJ’s arm. Gilda muttered curses and swears, but AJ didn’t even look at her as her arm tightened around Gilda’s throat.

“All right, break it up, BREAK IT UP!” Came a voice, and a pair of guards ran up. They shocked the two struggling combatants with their tasers, and they broke apart. The guards hoisted them up.

“What’s this?” Came a cold voice. Twilight looked, and saw a third guard coming up. This one had a black uniform instead of a blue one, and was a female. Despite her light pink hair, her eyes were cold and cruel.

“Warden Cherilee!” One of the guards stated, struggling to hold up Gilda’s bulk. “These two were fighting-“

“Yes, yes, I saw it on the security cameras.” Cherilee said, rolling her eyes. She pointed to Gilda. “This one started it, so she goes to the discipline room. I’ll be there in a bit. As for you…” She turned to AJ, who was still blandly staring into the distance with her one eye. “Solitary confinement, three days. Get them out of my sight.”

Cherilee turned to Twilight as AJ and Gilda were dragged off. “Are you okay?” Cherilee asked, leaning down, her voice softening slightly as she looked Twilight in the eyes.

“I’m… I’ll be fine.” Twilight said, massaging her throat.

Cherilee unclipped a flask from her belt, and unscrewed it, pouring more water into Twilight’s plastic cup. “Thanks.” Twilight said gratefully, draining the cup. “Why do you have a flask of water?”

“I used to be a teacher, dear; I’ve learned to always be prepared for anything.” Cherilee said, the corners of her mouth twitching. Then her face turned to iron again. “I’ve also learned to discipline unruly students.”

“I understand.” Twilight said, nodding. Cherilee nodded back, and walked off. “She was fairly nice.” Twilight said to the others at her table.

“Yeah, Cherilee’s pretty fair. Just don’t get on her bad side.” Rainbow said. “Gilda, on the other hand, is just a bitch. But then, I suppose she had to be.”

“How so?” Twilight asked.

This time it was Pinkie who answered. “Gilda used to be an enforcer for some mafia gang; It was her job to collect ‘protection payments’. You have to be a real meanie to be in a job like that.”

“How do you know what she’s in for?” Twilight questioned.

“I know what everyone’s in for!” Pinkie said, smiling. “For example, you see that girl over there?” Pinkie pointed her finger at a woman at a nearby table. This woman was African-American, and had black-and-white striped Mohawk. Her nose was pierced with a small gold ring.

“That’s Zecora. She used to be a chef for the prime minister of some country in Africa.” Pinkie said dramatically. “Then, on a night when a bunch of other big leaders were visiting for a dinner conference, Zecora combined some chemicals in the kitchen, and poisoned every last one of them! They were dead before the night was out!”

“Wow.” Twilight said, eyebrows raised. “Say, that reminds me.” She turned to the other occupants of the table. “What are you guys in for?”

“Well, Fluttershy isn’t going to tell you her story – she hasn’t told anyone anything.” Rarity said, nodding at the pink-haired girl. “AJ’s off somewhere, and I… well, I’ve got a flair for the dramatic, so you’ll excuse me if I save the big reveal for later.”

“I’ll tell you MY story, though! It’s pretty awesome, except for the ending where I get caught.” Rainbow said, grinning.

Twilight leaned forward, as Rainbow began to tell her tale.

XXXXXXXX

about 5 months ago…

XXXXXXXX

“Yes, I’m here to open a checking account."

“Well, I’ll need to see some form of identification, and-“

”EVERYONE ON THE FUCKING GROUND!” came a raspy voice from the doorway of the bank. Three men, clad in black ski masks, stormed in, carrying submachine guns.

Then came another robber, this one a woman, and wearing a crudely painted rainbow-colored ski mask. She held a huge shotgun. “NOBODY MOVES, AND NOBODY DIES!” The rainbow-masked woman roared, firing a round from her shotgun into the ceiling, causing it to rain plaster.

Rainbow Dash grinned under her self-painted ski mask, as she watched the tellers and customers spread out on the floor. Too easy. “B! Crack the vault! R! Q! Get the money from the tellers! I’ll keep an eye on the customers!”

Rainbow watched as her accomplices sprang into action; two of the men walked up to the counters and began demanding money, as the third man went to the back of the bank.

For a few minutes, everything went smoothly. The two bandits at the front, codenamed R and Q, took the money from the registers and shoved it into a duffel bag. The third man, B, came from the back with two more duffel bags overflowing with cash.

Then Rainbow heard something: sirens. As she’d expected, the cops were on their way.

“Um, D? Boss?” R called to her, his eyes glinting with worry. “Didn’t you say we were supposed to be out of here by the time the cops got here?”

“Relax. This is all part of the plan, trust me.” Rainbow stated, nodding. She watched as a pair of squad cars roared into the parking lot, sirens wailing. Four policemen scrambled out, pointing their guns at the front of the bank, screaming things that Rainbow couldn’t hear.

“I’ve got as much as I could fit, boss.” B said to her, carrying out one last duffel bag of money. “What do we do now?”

“Correction.” Rainbow said, and before the three men could react, she’d snatched up all four duffel bags, and slung two over each shoulder. “It’s what do YOU do now. I, myself, am outta here. Later, suckers!”

Rainbow moved with incredible speed; she whipped out a pistol from her belt, leapt clear through the plate-glass window, and fired four shots, with the speed of a western gunslinger.

Three of the police officers went down dead, blood pouring from their heads and necks. The fourth bullet hit the final officer in the shoulder, causing him to fall down; living, but incapacitated.

Rainbow wasted no time: She sprinted over to one of the still-running police cars, and leapt into the open door. She quickly positioned herself in the driver’s seat, placing the duffel bags in the passenger’s seat.

As Rainbow slammed the car into reverse, she glimpsed the last police officer speaking into the radio on his chest. Bastard was calling for reinforcements, but Rainbow didn’t have time to deal with him. She sped her car away, out of the parking lot. She could faintly hear her former cohorts screaming after her, calling her a “traitor” and a “disloyal bitch”.

It didn’t matter; those three were just to keep the police occupied while she got away. By the time the police even got the the bank, she’d be a mile away.

XXXXXXXX

15 minutes and over five miles later…

XXXXXXXX

Rainbow couldn’t believe it. She had the reinforced Crown Vic police car going at its max speed (a blistering 130 mph) and the police bastards were STILL on her tail!

She continued to floor the accelerator, tearing down the freeway like she was mad. It was way out in the middle of nowhere, so there were little to no cars around. She felt exhileration coursing through her veins as she glanced in the rearview mirror, seeing a police car gaining on her.

Without even turning around, Rainbow twisted her arm and fired her shotgun backwards out the window at the police car. A bang and a squeal told her the tires had blown, and she grinned. Using her thumbnail, she crudely scratched another tic onto the crude counter she’d made on the wheel. She’d already sent 7 police cars spinning off into her doom. She pulled her shotgun back in, and set her hand back on the wheel, and the gun on her lap.

“WOOHOOHOO! YEAH!” Rainbow screamed as she tore around another hairpin turn. This baby handled like a god!

Suddenly, Rainbow heard something: a slightly different siren. She looked in the mirror again, expecting another police car.

Her expectations were fulfilled… in spades. Rainbow’s eyes widened as she saw the police car in the window. It was signifigantly sleeker than the others, and Rainbow Dash recognized the quadruple grille on the front of the car.

It was a police-grade Dodge Charger, capable of going 150 miles an hour on a straight stretch of road.

Now Rainbow began to feel a bit worried. That thing could catch up to her damned quick if she didn’t act fast. She tore around another turn, watching the charger pull back a bit. Then she craned her arm out the window again, firing two more blasts at the police car.

The first blast bounced off the hood of the car, and the charger actually swerved around the second blast, not dropping its speed whatsoever, rapidly approaching Rainbow.

Rainbow glimpsed an arm with a pistol stretching out the charger’s window, and heard a “PUK”. She screamed as a bullet grazed her bicep; it was just a flesh wound, but was enough to make her accidentally drop her shotgun out the window.

Rainbow swore, pulling her arm back in and grasping it. That was her fatal flaw; she looked back up and saw another curve approaching her, far too close for her to make.

“Fuck me.”

KARRA-SPLANG-KAROOSH-SMASHA-CARUMBLE-SCREEK-SQERSH!

KA-CLUMPITY-CLUMPA-CLUMP! THUMPA-BUMP! BRANG!

Tinkle tinkle.

Rainbow groaned, her head feeling like it had been used as a drum for an entire band concert. “Anyone get the truck plate of that liscence?” She mumbled.

Rainbow groaned again, her eyes slowly crawling open. She saw roots and dirt all over the front window of the car. She felt blood rushing to her head.

She unbuckled her seat belt, and shot upwards onto the roof of the car. Rainbow grumbled, as her foggy brain tried to comprehend the fact that it was upside down.

Her mind was totally foggy as she wrenched herself out of the wreck of the car. Her shoe was on too tight. She had a million other things flying through her head, but the frontmost thing was, for some reason, that her shoe was way too tight.

Rainbow grunted and moaned some more as she pulled herself out of the shattered window of the car, crushing the fallen glass under her body. After what felt like hours, she finally escaped the wreck.

Rainbow tried to stand up, but found herself screaming. Her shoe, her shoe was WAY too tight. Agonizingly tight. Vice-crushingly tight. She flopped down again and again as she futilely tried to get to her feet.

Panting, sweat on her brow, Rainbow managed to flop onto her back. She tried to sit up, to untie her shoe.

Then she stopped, realizing she didn’t have a shoe.

Or a sock.

Or a foot.

Or a calf.

When the police reached her, Rainbow was still sitting in that position, staring at the mangled mess which used to be her left leg.

XXXXXXXX

Present

XXXXXXXX

“Jeez, seriously? You lost your leg?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah.” Rainbow answered, her face dark.

“Couldn’t mage-doctors magically reattach it? I’m pretty sure that’s a thing.”

“Well they probably could, if the foot wasn’t just a mass of pulp at that point.” Rainbow stated, and Twilight winced. “Yeah, the crash was really friggin’ nasty. On the plus side, I did get a sweet-ass prosthetic.”

Rainbow swung her legs out from under the table, and Twilight saw that she was indeed correct: From the knee down, Rainbow’s left leg was a prosthetic. Twilight couldn’t help but stare at the the black, reinforced plastic, connected to a curved piece of plastic where the foot should be.

“This is a running prosthesis.” Rainbow explained. She tapped the curved plastic. “This little bit right here mimics the running motions of a normal foot, and enables me to run much faster then I would if I had a regular prosthesis.”

“Fascinating.” Twilight said. She was about to ask another question when there was a sudden yell.

“BREAKFAST IS OVER! EVERYONE ON THE TRACK IN FIVE!”

There was a collective groan and a series of shuffles as the prisoners began to get up, put their trays away, and walk through a door on the far end of the cafeteria.

“Eesh. Track day.” Pinkie grumbled, as the five got up and followed the crowd.

“Why? What’s track day?” Twilight questioned.

“Let me put it this way, Twi.” Rainbow Dash stated. “You ever see that one bit in ‘Band of Brothers’ where they eat a bunch of spaghetti, and then right afterwards they go on a run, and everyone’s puking their lunch out? Well, after this, you’d trade places with those guys in a heartbeat."

Twilight gulped nervously.