One Minute for Parties

by Michael Hudson

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Pinkie Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cheese Sandwich, Comedy
Length: 4119

Pinkie and Cheese go on a date. Contrary to popular belief, shenanigans do NOT ensue.

Finally, Pinkie is going out on her first date. Should she be nervouscited right? Nah, I mean Cheese is the one taking her out, and she knows how to deal with their out of control lifestyle. Right?

Edited by the ever talented Ameribrony.
Cover Art by Biosonic100

Published 2014-04-03 16:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-03 16:00:02 UTC

The Best Night Ever!

One minute to go until Cheese was supposed to come. One minute to the moment Pinkie would open the door and her wildest night ever would begin. Was she ready though? The pink mare looked deeply into the mirror, deep into her very own cerulean eyes. “Yep, even if it were a giant, slimy, fun-eating, purple, world-consuming blob, you are ready!” Pinkie giggled and jumped away from the mirror.

“Oh, Gummy, can you believe what’s happening? I mean, I’ve known Cheese Sandwich for years, and out of the blue he asks me out. Tell me, Captain Gummy,” Pinkie Pie switched her hat with a detective’s and blew into a pipe, bubbles flowing out, “do you see any reason to suspect shenanigans?” Pinkie giggled as a few bubbles burst in her face. “Gummy, you always know just what to say.”

Still, Pinkie had to admit that this feeling in her far surpassed merely being nervouscited. She looked at the door, and didn’t know what to expect. On any other occasion she had known what might happen, wild parties and crazy nights out on the town, all regular evenings for Pinkie and Cheese. However, the pink mare had seen her yellow mentor a week ago, and he had very calmly asked her out, leaving her only the clue that she needed to be dressed fancy.

Pinkie had pulled out all the stops for tonight. She had Rarity refit her confectionaire’s outfit so that it hugged her curves a bit more. Not only that but also to get some of the candy resown on, having slowly nibbled at parts of it over the years. She still didn’t understand why Rarity had been so confused, or why she accused the candy of not being real. Pinkie then stopped herself from chomping down on a piece of candy corn, not wanting to mess her dress up before the night even began.

And then there were the three hours before now. She had asked her friends to help, and they came in force, though only Fluttershy and Rarity had been any good at fixing her mane and make up. Fluttershy coaxed her hair into framing her face slightly more, and Rarity used enough product to stop a bulldozer so as to keep all the strands in place so loose ends didn’t spring up. They had left half an hour ago though, leaving her with her thoughts.

Pinkie breathed deeply, enjoying the cake frosting perfume she had stocked up on when it was a fad in Canterlot. Indeed, she was ready. In fact, she was probably going to knock him right off his hooves. Indeed, so stunning-

Knock! Knock!

Pinkie found herself cowering underneath a table in her apartment above Sugar Cube Corner. “Oh no. Gummy, how am I supposed to do this? I mean, he asked it all seriously, and sure we’ve hung out a lot of times; but he actually called this a date.” Pinkie stared deep into the depths of her pet alligator’s dark-purple eyes. They blinked, one at a time. “You’re absolutely right Gummy! We are the best of friends, and this night will be like any other that we’ve spent together. Now make sure the house stays clean, Gummy, and no wild parties without me.” Gummy just stared into thin air, pondering the deep questions of life.

As for Pinkie, she finally walked over to the door, a second set of knocks coming from it. Pinkie breathed deeply once more and opened the door. Her breath was immediately taken away, and not even literally like she had expected. There was Cheese Sandwich, who had traded his normal yellow shirt for a stunning tuxedo. Not only that, but his wonderfully poofy mane was actually down, well groomed and twisting upward like smiles at the ends. Pinkie eyes became most of her face as Cheese simply fell down.

“Are you okay?” Pinkie extending a hoof to her friend. Cheese took it, chuckling as he got up.

“I couldn’t be better Pinkie. You merely knocked me off of my feet. You look fantastic, good enough to eat in fact.” And with that Cheese grabbed a strawberry that had been added to her hat, eating it in one bite. Pinkie laughed at him. “Are you ready to go?”

Pinkie looked back at her apartment, a place she had spent so many nights in wild parties, but also so many alone with Gummy. She could just stay and wait until this wasn’t her first date so she knew what to expect. No, Cheese had used his experience and age to teach her about one way to enjoy a night, why should this be any different? Pinkie nodded, closing the door behind her and taking Cheese’s hoof.

“Oh, don’t you two look just darling!” Pinkie had spent years with the cakes, having been taken in when she was just a filly. They had been so amazing, teaching her how to bake, offering their house to her, and even paying for the damages she caused the poor bakery from time to time. She loved them dearly and normally wouldn’t trade them for the world. Right now though, with Ms. Cake beaming up at them and Mr. Cake holding a camera, she wished she lived by herself and had never even known the couple.

Pinkie laughed nervously, but Cheese answered in a calm tone. “I believe so, then again it may just be how cute my wonderfully pink friend here is, and I’m merely lucky enough to be next to her.” That got a few “ah”s from the cakes and a giggle from Pinkie.

Mr. Cake spoke up, an authoritative edge in his voice. “So just what exactly are your plans for this wonderful mare? I hope nothing naughty, perverse, or destructive. I will not accept another rave somehow ending in my living room. It’s bad for the twins.” Pinkie and Cheese smirked at the memory of Vinyl's last birthday party, which got way too far out of hand. At least in the Cakes’ eyes.

“Don’t worry sir, I have no intentions of going fast with your daughter, even if she offered; tonight means too much to me. In fact, I have reservations at Cattle Company and a movie at the theater. Afterwards, I plan on bringing her right back here.” Cheese was keeping up the calm tone, and now had Pinkie blushing and poking the floor with her hoof.

Just as Mr. Cake was about to speak, Ms. Cake stopped him. “Come now honey. If it were Pumpkin I would understand, but we know Pinkie can take care of herself. Besides, Cheese has proven how wonderful he is before, and I liked him myself all the back when we first met the young lad.” Mr. Cake lowered his intense looks, and smiled at them before nodding to his wife.

“Don’t be so kind. I expect a full repertoire, fire and brimstone wrapped in a father’s rage. Besides, I’m not that young. Pinkie here is still merely a filly when compared to me. Therefore, you need to stop me, scold me, make sure I do not use my vast experience to seduce her and three months later you find her with foals and I am nowhere in sight.” Cheese smiled at Mister Cake almost challenging him, and Pinkie laughed, but then scolded Cheese.

“I am not that young. being five years older than me doesn’t make you omnipotent, so I highly doubt you could get me to even feel frisky. Besides, you two have nothing to worry about. I never leave home without my party cannon, and it’s mace charges for perverts and creeps.” Pinkie stuck her tongue out at Cheese, who just smiled warmly at her.

“Okay you two young kids, get together, we have pictures to take.” Pinkie took a silly pose, expecting Cheese to follow her lead, but he merely wrapped a hoof around hers. In fact, he did that for all of the pictures, no matter how easy the joke would have been.

======++++++======

“We are so happy to see you again before you moooooove along Cheese.” The cow waitress took the two to a table, dimly lit by a low hanging bulb. Pinkie knew Cheese had done a party for them about a year ago, and that they always loved having him. In fact, they held his party as the reason for their booming success, seeing as they were now a chain of nice restaurants that kept up a cowboy/western feel to them. Pinkie had meant to ask him something on the day of that party, but he had been too busy for her back then. Now was a perfect chance though.

“So. that wonderfully fun day when you came into town, why were you in a cowboy outfit? Is it because you are a cowboy, or was it some sort of disguise for a party? Or could it be you are a part of an ancient cult that believes in riders of doom and dress as cowboys to honor them?” Cheese smiled at Pinkie, but he didn’t even chuckle.

“Well, if you must know, it happened shortly after you showed me the joys of parties. I decided to continue to roam as you know, and I went West as so many brave adventurers had in books I’d read. When I arrived, I set out immediately to make a name for myself. After a few months of getting shoved out of saloons, a kind travelling musician took me in. He told me that I needed to try to create my own style, and reminded me of how all ponies are different and that one must play to their crowd, or at least keep them in mind.”

Cheese now started getting worked up, his voice becoming loud and powerful. “Afterwards, I lived with him for five years. He perfected my accordion skills while I practiced my craft, pretending to be tough and like one of the locals. After having spooked a Tatzelwurm with the change from the deep and moody cowboy to the true party pony I am, I knew I had a hook. And from that day onward, when I come to or leave a town, I try to recreate that so as to open them up to the fun through sheer surprise.”

Pinkie was quiet, nodding her head like she was taking in what he had said as fact. Then Pinkie put her hoof in Cheese’s face and stated, “Liar!” The pink mare smiled smugly, having won their little game. Coming up with stories and jokes was all a part of the job for party ponies, so Cheese and Pinkie had made it a game to point out when one was being false. Pinkie then looked at her friend, and saw the smile on his face.

“Well, I suppose I did get carried away and lost the facts for a moment with the Tatzelwurm, so your point this time.” The voice was filled with fun and cheer, what Pinkie was used to, but then her fellow party planner now went back to a more regular tone. “However, the rest of it was true. Lonestar really helped me define my craft, and I have adored being able to pass the knowledge to another crowd pleaser. The fact that it was such a wonderful and beautiful mare that I got to teach has just been the icing on the cake. And maybe some sprinkles. Oh, and of course hot fudge sauce.”

Cheese chuckled rubbing his head with a hoof. That wasn’t right. Cheese rambled a lot just like Pinkie, but they never seemed to apologize for such moments. Then again, she still couldn’t read people the best. Cheese said it came with experience, which brought her to the pink mare’s next problem: Cheese had just very blatantly complimented her, and it wasn’t at all on her abilities in their career field. It barely had even come with a following it.

Pinkie blushed, scooting a little away from Cheese. She needed to get away from this topic, it made her chest flutter and feel funny. Luckily, Cheese loved a good prank like almost anypony, so she had a plan. Pinkie grabbed the salt shaker with a hoof and started working on the cap. Cheese was looking at her intrigued, one eyebrow up in a question.

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing so plain as the cap being loose. Nope, I’m not going to hold back seeing as this is a special night out, right? Now ma’am.” Pinkie tapped a waitress on the bovine’s side, her voice becoming very serious. “What is your favorite season?”

“Well I don’t know, I would have to say it would be autumn. I just love the colors, and the Running of the Leaves is always fun!” Pinkie nodded, and then a smile started to break out onto her face. Cheese looked at her curiously.

“Well my hoofed sister, I would have to disagree. The best season would have to be,” Pinkie shouted the last word as she grabbed the cap off the salt shaker and a firecracker sent salt skyward, “WINTER!” Pinkie grabbed Cheese’s hooves and pulled him up onto the table to start dancing with her in the middle of the shimmering cloud of white. The two started dancing wildly, and the table just couldn’t hold the weight and chaos. The couple was politely asked to leave after paying for damages, the two giggling on their way out.

“Well, I guess even throwing a rockin’ party for them only gets you so far.” Cheese put a strained smile on, knowing that Pinkie had enjoyed her prank, and he had to admit he’d liked it too. That wasn’t the purpose of tonight though, and he would get it back on track at the movies.

======++++++======

Pinkie and Cheese had arrived at the theater, and once more Pinkie had felt befuddled. They had been to the movies before, always for comedies, and with movies like ‘Patch Adams’ and ‘Burning Saddles’, why were they watching ‘Gone with the Windigos?’ It wasn’t even a romantic comedy! And when she had asked her fellow festivities extraordinaire, he had said that it was always nice to try a change of pace. She definitely loved to try new things, but thirty minutes into it she was bored and was thinking about taking a nap to conserve her energy for later.

Wait, maybe that was it? Cheese was just trying to bore her, so the sudden change to wacky and random would hit her even more. She truly didn’t give Cheese the credit he deserved for being such an evil genius, even when they played Evil Geniuses. Cheese was probably already asleep, conserving his energy for his last trick. Well she wouldn’t be caught sleepy either.

Just as the pink mare’s mind started to imagine frosting coated walkways and chocolate syrup baths waiting for her in the candy filled dream land that lay in her mind, she was touched. Not inappropriately, but she was being touched. In fact, she was being held. She opened her eyes as she was pulled to her right, her head now in Cheese’s arm.

He was watching her, smiling. “Don’t worry Pinkie, I understand if you’re tired. I’ll tell you about the movie when you get up. Just sleep my dear pink mare.” The fluttering was back, Pinkie’s face becoming burning hot. Maybe she was sick? Or maybe Cheese was sick, since he was actually seeming to enjoy a movie like this.

Then there was the position they were in. Sure, she invaded ponies’ personal space all the time, but this was different. It felt like she was actually being disturbed, like this meant more than their normal pokes and hugs. Part of Pinkie wanted nothing more than to stay and be held, but another part, the larger part in fact, screamed that this wasn’t what should be happening, that this wasn’t Cheese! Pinkie had to admit though, she was tired, and his suit was soft. Before the pink mare’s panicked mind could go further, Cheese found himself with a softly snoring pony nestled under his arm.

======++++++======

“Soooo, how was the movie?” Pinkie yawned, having only woken up a few minutes ago as the credits rolled. Now they were supposedly trotting back to Sugar Cube Corner.

“It was okay. I’ll admit it wasn’t quite my type of movie, and that I think I was distracted by the pink pony using me as a pillow.” Pinkie giggled and Cheese smiled. Pinkie was happy to be hearing jokes; glad that the fluttering was gone and that they were just being themselves again.

“So, big guy.” Pinkie hit one of his spindly legs, causing the Cheese to scramble to stay standing. “What was your plan for the rest of the night. Punch hot tub, giant anchovy, marshmallow, and cupcake pizza, or perhaps an event that you planned at an undisclosed location? Please, I promise to be surprised when you do the big reveal.”

Cheese looked confused, staring at Pinkie. “I don’t have anything planned. Well, nothing of that sort I suppose. Pinkie, I don’t want a party tonight, I just wanted a date with you.” Pinkie felt her chest flutter once more at the proximity that Cheese had come to her, but she finally knew what the fluttering meant. If only she had realized it was Pinkie sense earlier!

“Oh, Cheese,” Pinkie paused, staring into his light green eyes, the fluttering growing stronger with each moment. “I swear I will find you after I blast this changeling back to Chrysalis.” The orange pony’s eyes grew wide as the blue cannon came out from underneath the dress and was aimed right at him. He could even see a small canister within with the words perv-away on it.

“Wait, Pinkie, I’m not a changeling! Otherwise, how would I know that you keep Boneless in a cabinet in your apartment and have Gummy and him do dance offs on an almost weekly basis?” Cheese covered his eyes, but Pinkie hesitated. She needed more than that to convince her though.

“Oh yeah. Well you could have interrogated him for that. Besides, you’ve been acting strange all night, almost seeming to resist fun. Cheese would never do that, but a mean, fun sucking, shapeshifter might. So, any last words before you pay for ruining my regular night out with Cheese?”

“Pinkie... was this just another night out to you?” Cheese sounded devastated. Tears were starting to form at the rims of his eyes as he simply stared past the cannon, straight at Pinkie.

“Um, no it wasn’t. Well, I mean it was, at least that’s what I wanted, but if you don’t, uh…” Pinkie stammered out the sentence, unable to figure it out herself. She didn’t like this, the confusion, the gravity of the situation, and especially the pain developing within her own chest. Maybe a joke, prove it was Cheese by his laugh. Pinkie looked at Cheese through a crack in her eyelids and saw the concern and worry on his face, and a new bloom of pain started in her chest.

With that, Pinkie’s hair defied the coaxing and gel, and fell flat. The horrified mare did the one thing she could think of, and galloped away.

======++++++======

Cheese could hear the sobbing behind the door, and it strengthened his resolve. He hadn’t let Mr. Cake faze him as he had pushed a stale fruitcake into the stallion’s mouth. He knew he needed to talk to Pinkie and set things right, but how? Why he would do what the two always did best. Improvise.

Cheese knocked on the door, and after a few minutes, it slowly opened. Cheese caught his breath seeing the large sad eyes, the tear streaks down her muzzle, and her hair completely straight. He wanted to cry to be honest, but she needed cheer, and he would try to provide. Cheese showed Pinkie to the bed, and began the performance of his life.

“Now, let me tell you a tale of one pink and fluffy mare, who met a heroic and powerful hero of laughter. This orange stallion had years of experience on the misguided filly, mind you not too many years. With this well of knowledge, he trumped the wonderful mare, much to his own dismay and caused her to lose faith in herself. He then faced the fear of losing a friend he held quite dear.”

“Indeed, he felt fear greater than being a snack to an Ursa Major, greater than facing off a western Tatzelwurm, and definitely more fear than the butterflies before a party. So he confessed, and found the truth liberated the two. After that, they became a whole cult of chaos by themselves, causing cheer and laughter wherever they went.”

At this point, Pinkie was sitting up on the bed, her eyes staring at him, her hair rising just an inch. Cheese started almost bouncing off the walls trying to keep her distracted from her pain. “Then there were the lessons, teaching the pink mare how to adapt to different crowds and pull off bigger stunts then any small town had ever seen. And unbeknownst to the mare herself, she was teaching the grizzled old stallion something too. That was how to enjoy simple pleasure, and the joy in a party of two.”

Cheese now sat down next to a blushing Pinkie, her hair having gained back some of it’s volume. “So imagine how scared our hero was when he realized the truth, the fact that he didn’t want to roam?” Sure, for years the stallion stayed away, trying to find new venues and be fine with merely visiting. But it was to no avail. The pink mare had sunk her hooves deep as Spike’s claws into a jelly filled donut. He realized that the time had come to take a chance, so a week ago, he convinced an amazing party planner to plan an event for just the two of them.”

Pinkie, her voice shaking, was the next to speak. “Then where are the lights that would have made the night bright? Where are the streamers and gleamers? This wasn’t a party, this wasn’t even our night out. Cheese, what was this?” Pinkie looked at the Cheese, a hoof on his chest. Her hair was ever so slowly hissing, going back toward the flat that scared Cheese to his core.

“It was a date Pinkie. I was so afraid you might not realize that. I have been on others, but each time I haven’t seen the mare again. This was because they all admit I’m fun, but they also want romance. I realized that I adored spending time with you, but I wanted more. I want to see what’s within these deep blue eyes, why your hair goes down when you are sad, and even find out what your hopes and dreams are, no matter how silly.

Pinkie, I adore you. You mean more to me than anything else in my life. So I wanted to treat you like nothing else in my life, and take us seriously. That is why I have been subdued, telling the truth and not silly lies. Pinkie, I need to know whether you can take US seriously or not.” Pinkie looked deep into the orange stallions eyes, her chest fluttering like never before. She no longer felt scared, merely happy, and maybe even safe.

Pinkie stood up, shaking a bit on her hooves. The pink mare then trotted over to the door and closed it, putting a sign on the handle. She sniffed and tried to clear the tears in her eyes as she turned back to Cheese. “I warn you, it is going to take a long time, and it’s not all fun. Are you sure you want all of it?”

“I would have never have asked you out in the first place if I didn’t. Besides, it can’t be scarier than the time I stumbled upon my grandma in the shower.” Cheese smiled down at her, and Pinkie snorted as she got up on the bed.

“Liar. You never saw your family after you left Manehatten.”

“Rats, you got me. Though i swear I’m not lying when I tell you I got an apartment in Ponyville, so I’ll be staying in town for at least a while. That will give you all the time in the world to tell me all I need to know.”

Pinkie looked into his eyes, and finally the fluttering stopped. She wasn’t nervous, in fact she wasn’t even certain why she had been in the first place. “Oki doki Loki then.”