Flutter kite

by a guy with many hats

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Adventure
Length: 2098

Fluttershy gets attached to a kite. She promptly loses control and flies off.

Fluttershy gets attached to a kite. She promptly loses control and flies off.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-04 03:20:02 UTC

Fly Easy, Land Hard

"Um...I don't think this is a good idea." Fluttershy whispered as Discord finished tying her to the cross. "This seems...wrong."

Discord scoffed and picked up the now crucified pony. "Oh Fluttershy, I promise you there's nothing weird about being pony Jesus." Discord laughed at his inside joke as he walked outside. He laid the free bird pony on the grass and started trying string to the ends of the cross. "Just think my dear, soon enough you'll be sailing through the air like a leaf. Completely at the mercy of the wind."

Fluttershy let out a distressed squeak as she tried to pull her wings free. Discord had brought her wings out to full length and tied them across the cross. "Discord...I really don't think--" she was cut off as a gust of wind threatened to lift her off the ground. "Discord!?"

"Oh tut, It's fine." he mumbled as he stood the mare upright and stuck his finger in his mouth. He pulled it out with a disgusting trail of saliva hanging off and held it to the wind. "Perfect, oh and look, we've got a crowd." he crooned as the elements strolled over. "Hello girls, how are you this fine day?"

Twilight glared at Discord. "What is this?" she bopped the bottom of the cross where Fluttershy's back hooves were bound. "Fluttershy do you need help?"

Fluttershy looked down at her body. "I don't...I'm not sure."

Rainbow Dash darted over. "Whatda'ya mean you're not sure!? He's got you strung up like...like...like a...a spider or something!"

Applejack and Rarity giggled in their own respective ways. "A spider?"

"Yeah!" Dash yelled as she turned to her snickering friends. "You got something better!?"

"Oooh ooh, what about pony Jesus!?" Pinkie added as she bounced behind her friends. "I can be Pontius!"

Discord laughed exuberantly as he held his arms out, dangling Fluttershy like an ornament. "And Twilight could be Mary-- oh wait.... Nails might hurt, better to stick with string." he chuckled to himself as he finished tying the organic kite together. "No, playing kite is much safer." Discord started letting out string as the other five sat and watched.

Twilight called them into a huddle and started speaking. "I'm not sure about this...he hasn't...done anything yet."

Pinkie nodded. "I know right, he totally should! I wanna play kite too!"

The others shifted away from the vibrant mare and back into a smaller huddle. Dash stomped her hoof. "Well we can't let him just--"

"Waaaah!" Fluttershy let out a terrified scream as Discord and Pinkie started running with the kite, sending her up into the air for a moment before crashing down. "Umfh!" She landed with a soft thud.

"Let me try!" Pinkie popped as she took the string in her mouth and started running. Fluttershy quickly took to the air, first by feet, then by yards, until finally she was several stories in the air, sailing about like mad. "Shee- ah gotsh it!" Pinkie mumbled as she tugged the kite strings, making Fluttershy zoom around like a glider.

Fluttershy continued to scream and panic as she darted around the sky. "I wanna come down! I don't wanna be a leaf anymore! Ple-e-e-ease!"

Discord stood next to Pinkie as she made Fluttershy do a loop in the air. "How and when did you learn to do that?"

Pinkie relinquished control of the Flutter kite to Discord. "I flew kites all the time! She's even better because you can tell when she's going fast!"

Discord yanked the kite strings, making the airborne mare take a hard dip before zooming back up and tugging hard at the string holder. Fluttershy let out a scared cry as she stared at the ground and suddenly zoomed upright. "Girls!? Help!"

Dash poked her head out of the huddle and stared at the abusive duo. "I uh...I'm gonna go...make sure they don't hurt her." Dash slipped out of the group and over to the Kite pair. "Discord...."

Discord looked at the mare as he flew Fluttershy in a screaming circle. "Yes my dear?"

Rainbow Dash grew flustered as she tried to think of a way to get the kite without asking. "You think this is fair!? You think you can just tie Fluttershy to a bunch of sticks and make her fly around!?"

Discord took a step back, mock shock heavy on his face. "How dare you insinuate I used sticks!? I used dowels! I would never risk her life with something as flimsy as sticks!" Discord held the kite strings for Dash. "Go ahead, see for yourself. You couldn't do this-" he yanked the cord, causing Fluttershy to swoop down like a hawk. "-with sticks."

Dash hesitantly took the cord and tried tugging it, nearly causing Fluttershy to smack face first into the ground. "How do I- aah, no!" she started tugging it in the opposite direction Fluttershy was falling. "No- no- no- come on!" she started running back and giving the line more freedom. Before too long Fluttershy was sailing as high as Canterlot castle. "Aaaw yeah, look at that!"

"I'm gonna die up here!" Fluttershy screamed as she tried to pull herself out the kite. "I need to make sure Angle's okay, I need to feed the chickens, I need to be on the ground!"

Rainbow Dash grew cocky as she learned how to use the kite, making the timid yellow mare preform amazing feats of aerial acrobatics. On a particularly intricate trick she tangled the line. "Oh no--" she grunted as the line went taut and snapped, sending the newly free Fluttershy far away. "Oh...."

Discord and Pinkie fell into a laughing heap as Fluttershy's screams grew distant. "Bravo, braaaavo!" Discord jeered as she hopped upright. "Truly the most graceful flyer in Equestria." he snapped his fingers and summoned up a golden trophy with a crashed pegasus as a topper. The others stared at the rapidly disappearing kite while Dash stared at the mocking trophy in her hooves. "Oh I'm sure she'll be fine...probably."

Fluttershy was screaming like mad as the wind kicked up and flew her like a leaf in a storm. She flew high above the trees, heading northeast away from her quiet town and towards the forest. "Giiiiiirls!?" she let out a final scream before being whisked away above the forest.

She was carried far by the wind, passing a large temple before diving down and getting caught in an upwelling.

Below Daring Do and Ahuizotl were facing off once again. "This time Daring Do, I have you right where I want you!"

Daring let out a short huff. "Just like all the other times. You know, I think you should really--"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaa...." Fluttershy's screams cut off the adventuring mare and made everypony in the vicinity look around for a moment.

"Um...like I was saying.... If you think you've won, you're sorely--"

"Heeeeeeeeeelp!"

The tribal ponies with Ahuizotl looked around for the source of the noise, finding nothing and growing a bit panicked. Ahuizotl sat on his backside as the screaming grew louder. "You hear that too right?"

Daring took off her hat and flicked her ears. "Yeah...kinda killing the mood right?"

"Waaa-aaaaaah!" Fluttershy screamed as she tore through the treetops, slamming the top of the kite into Ahuizotl's gut and lashing him to a tree with the extra string. "Help, help, help, **help!" she shrieked as the string broke once again and sent her out of the trees and into the sky.

The tribal ponies went into an open panic as the kite rushed past. Daring Do stared for a moment before walking over to her now trapped rival. "Well...looks like I have you right where I--"

"Oh just take the stupid thing...." Ahuizotl hissed angrily as he tried to undo his bindings with his tail's hand. "Random pegasus bombings aren't fair, so just take it. I'm gonna go...destroy some other pony society...."

Daring laughed and trotted off towards the temple, her golden prize waiting inside.

Meanwhile Fluttershy was screaming her head off as she glided across the treetops, rouge sticks threatening to cut her delicate underside. "No no no no no no no!" she shouted to herself as she jammed her eyes shut. Before long she was picked up by a pocket of warm air and high in the air once more. "Whhhhhhhhy!?"

Everything grew colder as she flew through a cloud, residual fluff sticking to the kite frame as she spotted a group of ponies busting clouds. "Hey- heeeey- help!"

Spitfire heard the shouting and turned away from her recruits. "Well look at that!" she shouted as Fluttershy did a barrel roll, quickly leading into a diving swoop and back up into a spread eagle. "See that rookies, that's a flyer! That's a wonderbolt!"

"Aaaha- aaaahaaa- haaaaaaahaaaaaaa!" Fluttershy screamed as she darted around the sky. Each gust of wind tossing her about like a feather. "Help meeeeeee!"

Spitfire sat on her cloud and clapped her hooves together. "Outstanding! I wonder if that's an academy record...it should be." She grumbled to herself as she turned back to her rookies, all of them having a terrible time breaking clouds. She turned to the screaming kite bound mare and let out a soft sigh. "Yes...wooo, yaaaay...at least somepony's having fun."

Fluttershy's cries of panic did nothing as she whipped around in a pirouette and zoomed further east. The air grew salty as she darted under a passing pegasus. "Hey- watch it ya nutcase!" he yelled as Fluttershy sailed screaming past.

"Call the princess! Call Discord! Call somepony!" she screamed as she clenched her eyes shut.

"Coco, are those costumes done?"

Coco let out a longing sigh as she looked at the window of her boss's building. "Almost sir. I'll let you know immediately when they're done." Coco's boss nodded and left Coco to her stitching. Coco left her machine and walked over to a window. "I wonder if anypony would notice if I just--" her sudden suicidal urges were stopped cold as Fluttershy zoomed over and slammed flat against the window. "What the buck!?" Coco screamed as she jumped back from the window. She clutched her chest as the yellow blob started grunting.

"Help...me...."

Coco steadied her heart and opened the window. "Oh hey! You're Rarity's friend right?"

"Help me please...."

Coco stuck her head out the window. "What is this thing?"

"Help...."

Coco poked the kite, making Fluttershy slide down the window. "Hey...did Rarity say...anything, about me?"

"Help...." Fluttershy asked politely for a final time before starting to slide off the window. "Help...help--help, help help!" Before Coco could do anything she slipped off the building and was caught by the crosswinds. "Heeeeeelp meeeeee!" she was carried off back towards Ponyville as the wind grew stronger. "Somepony!? Anypony!?"

"You said she'd be back by now!" Twilight yelled as she held Discord at horn point. "Where is she!?"

Discord stuck his tongue out and made a fart noise. "Ask my little Dashie over there, she's the one who lost her."

Dash grew pink in the cheeks before walking over. "Hey I wasn't the one who tied Fluttershy to a cross!"

Pinkie nodded lazily before stopping suddenly. "But you lost her Dashie!"

Dash grew flustered before taking a few steps back and hiding behind Applejack. "I didn't mean it...."

Twilight let her spell fizzle away. "Well somepony has to do something!"

Discord left the ponies to fight amonsgst themselves as he stuck his lion paw into the air. "Three...two...one-"

"**Aaaaaa-ah...." Fluttershy zoomed under Discord's paw and came to a sudden stop as he clamped down on top of the kite.

"How was the ride--" Discord's joke was cut short as he looked at Fluttershy's face. Pure rage mixed with a feral panic was carried behind her unassuming stare. "Umm...I'll just...." he nipped the string with his claw and cut the enraged mare down. Fluttershy walked away without another word. "Flutters? Fluttershy?" Discord poked his fingers into one another as he trailed after her. "Fluttershy sweetie?"

The other elements just stared as Discord trailed sadly behind Fluttershy and into her cabin. Dash fell to her rump. "Huh...." she stood up and walked over to the grounded kite. "So...anypony else wanna go?"

"Oooo oooo oo--" Pinkies shouts of exictment were cut off as Twilight zapped the kite, turning it to ash.

"No more kites. Rarity write this down. First royal decree of Princess Twilight. A full ban on any and all kites for two months."

Rarity cocked her head. "Doesn't that seem a bit--"

"Three months!" Twilight stamped her hoof. "Just to be safe."