Lyra goes Gangster

by ButterNookCrook

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Lyra, Comedy, Bon-Bon
Length: 1776

Lyra is tired as being seen as a nice, gentle, background pony. What can she do to stand out more? Maybe a quick change of personality could change that?

Lyra decides that the life of a nice, gentle, background pony is not the life for her. After many hours wasted coming up with a way to make her stand out more, she finds a solution to her problem. By becoming a gangster of course! The only problem is that Ponyville is not exactly a crime filled town and Lyra is not quite actually sure how to fulfill her new role.

A short comedic story.

Rated teen for drug references.

Published 2014-04-04 09:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-04 09:20:02 UTC

I don't know why I wrote this.

"Alright Lyra, let's see your crime face." The mint green unicorn arranged her face to one that no pony would dare try to mess with. She gazed at her reflection in the mirror as she looked herself over. " Now it's time to look the part." She took a black bandanna in her hooves and tied it around the top of her head. "There we go." She said to herself as she fixed a part of her mane sticking out from the bandanna.

"It's missing something." Lyra stated to herself as she opened a wooden jewelry box next to the sink. Her hooves pulled out a long golden chain with a heart on the end. She quickly threw it over her head and let it swing around her neck. Once more she gave herself a look in the mirror to see if she was looking the part. "Now thats gangster!" A smile formed on her face as she saw her new image. With a swift kick the bathroom door swung open.

"Lyra did you just kick my door!?" Bon Bon yelled from the kitchen as soon as she heard the noise.

"Uh no! I mean uh.....shut the buck up mare!" Lyra blurted out in a lower octave. Bon Bon's head slowly peaked around the corner into the hallway. An unspeakable anger shot from her eyes as she stared at Lyra unblinking. A frying pan was held in one hoof slowly taping the other. Lyra gulped as she pictured Bon Bon knocking her lights out.

"What was that?" Bon Bon asked bluntly.

"Nothing honey." Lyra fell over holding her hooves over her head. "I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me! I was just playing, I swear!" Lyra peaked out from her front hooves covering her face. Bon Bon gave a curt nod and somehow slide back into the kitchen.

"Why don't you go outside Lyra. I will call you back in when dinner is ready." Bon Bon said from the kitchen. Lyra ran into the front yard almost tripping over herself.

"Alright Lyra time to show Ponyville who the most gangster pony in town is." She quickly scouted her surrounding area looking for an opportunity to start her crime spree. A yellow butter colored mare was trotting down the dirt road in front of her holding a small wooden basket. Perfect.

"Hold it right there mare!" Lyra shouted from behind Fluttershy causing her to jump followed by a small squeak. She slowly turned around and calmed herself as she saw Lyra.

"Oh, Lyra you startled me. You almost gave me heart attack." Fluttershy gave a puzzled look as she noticed Lyra's getup. "Um Lyra what are you wearing, if you don't mind me asking that is?"

"I'm a hard core gangster and your on my turf." She poked Fluttershy in the muzzle making her go cross eyed for a second.

"But Lyra Nightmare Night is not for awhile. Why are you already dressed up?"

"What! This is not a costume!"

"Oh, I'm sorry I did not mean to upset you." Fluttershy looked at the ground in shame.

"Forget about it! Now hand over the basket this is a hold up!"

"You mean this basket?" Fluttershy held out the basket. Lyra nodded in return. "But it's empty." Lyra face hoofed as she felt her game slipping.

"This isn't working. Let's try something else. Do you want to buy some coke?" Lyra pulled out a small bag of white powder from her mane. Fluttershy gave her a worried stare and then looked closely at the bag. She visibly relaxed as she studied the contents.

"Lyra this is flour." Fluttershy pointed out causing Lyra to become annoyed.

"Get outta here!" Lyra yelled throwing the bag away in a random direction.

"Oh, okay then. Tell Bon Bon I said hello." Fluttershy left leaving a disgruntled Lyra sitting on the dirt path.

"Hey kid. Over here." A shady voice came from behind Lyra. Lyra turned around to see a small baby dragon wearing a trench coat and matching grey fedora.

"Spike?"

"Shh! Don't use my name out in the open like that, you will get me in trouble." Spike said as he looked around to make sure his cover was not blown. "I heard you were a pretty hardcore gangster. Not very many ponies can hold up Fluttershy like that." He tilted his hat to cover his eyes.

"Yea, I run these streets." Lyra stuck out her chest giving her toughest face. Her chain swinging back and forth as well.

"I gotta a certain job for you."

"What kind of job homie?" Lyra gave a squint as she became more interested in what the dragon had to say.

"Ponyville Bank. I need a partner in crime to help me rob the joint."

"Really!? Count me in, this is just what I needed!" Lyra tried to hide her excitement as she went back to playing it cool. "I mean... yea I can help you out, for the right amount."

"We can split the bits fifty-fifty." He held out his claws waiting for a handshake to seal the deal. Lyra quickly stuck out her hoof in agreement.

[Ponyville Bank 3:00 A.M.]

"Put the bits in the bag!" Lyra yelled through the black sock that was over her head.

"Excuse me madam, I am over here." The banker called out from behind the counter.

"Oh." Lyra peeked out from her sock and fixed her position. "Put the bits in the bag. Put it in!" She gave a scream as she held out a paper bag. Spike stood on the other side of the room giving her a thumbs up.

"I am going to need to see some I.D."

"Here you go." Lyra slide her card across the counter. The banker looked closely at the card and entered the information in his computer.

"Now put it in!"

"Would that be from your checking or savings account?" The banker said in a monotone voice.

"Savings." Lyra responded. The banker started to mess around with his computer.

"It is showing that you have zero bits in both of your accounts."

"Oh."

"Next!" The banker yelled as Lyra walked over to Spike.

"What the buck was that?" Spike stared at Lyra in disappointment. "Give me the bag. I will show you how it is done!" Spike snatched the bag and ran over to the banker.

"Put the bits in the bag and no pony gets hurt!"

"Aren't you a little young to be robbing banks?" The banker leaned over the counter so he could see the baby dragon. Spike held out a bowl and clippers from his pocket. The banker gave him a questioning glare as he looked at the items.

"How about I give you a bowl cut?" Spike whispered.

"No!" The banker screamed as he threw his hooves over his mane.

"Put it in!" Spike held out the bag with his tiny arms.

"Here. Please don't give me a bowl cut!" The banker cried as he filled the paper bag with bits.

"Let's go!" Spike yelled pulling Lyra's arm as they both ran out the door. The banker ran over to his telephone as the criminals disappeared.

"Hello? Is this Ponyville P.D.? The town bank has just been robbed! What did they look like? One was like a little garden gnome or something and the other was a green pony with a black sock over her head. Thank you!" The banker gave out a breath of relief as he put the phone down. "Don't worry baby. No one will hurt you now." He ran a hoof through his mane as he talked to it."

[Bon Bon's House 4:00 A.M.]

Bon Bon looked in the oven seeing if dinner was finsihed cooking. A loud slam startled her causing her to hit her head.

"Lyra! What did I say about slamming my doors!" Bon Bon yelled running a hoof over her throbbing head. As she entered the living room she discovered Lyra crying in front of the front door. "Lyra?" Her anger quickly faded as she ran over to her mare friend. "Tell me whats wrong, are you hurt?" A couple sirens could now clearly be heard outside.

"This is Ponyville Police Department! Come out with your hooves up. We have the place completely surrounded. Your bowl cutting days are over!" A loud voice called outside from a megaphone. Bon Bon ran over to the window pulling the curtains back. Outside where at least thirty police officers surrounding her property. Bon Bon slowly looked over to Lyra with a blank expression.

"Lyra what is going on?" Lyra gave a quick unintelligible mumble as she hyperventilated. Bon Bon looked around to see if she could stop her quickening breathing before she passed out. A brown paper bag laid right beside her. "Here breath in this." Bon Bon said as she picked up the bag. "What in Celestia?" The bag was surprisingly very heavy. Bon Bon looked in the bag and instantly dropped it spilling out the bits.

"I can explain!" Lyra shouted as she saw Bon Bon's face turn to complete shock.

"What did you do rob a bank!?" Bon Bon flung her hooves in the air in pure emotion.

"You have thirty seconds to come out or we will come in and get you!" The officer on the megaphone continued.

"Bon Bon I don't want to be a gangster anymore!" Lyra cried as she huddled up into a fetal position. Bon Bon looked back and forth between the crying mare and the police outside.

[Mayor Mayor's Office 5:00 A.M.]

"Alright Bon Bon and sign right here on the dotted line at the bottom of the page and Lyra is free to go." One of the legal attorneys slide the document from the other side of the desk. Bon Bon scanned over the paper quickly.

"Lyra Heartstings is not allowed to be more than five feet away from her supervisor Mrs. Bon Bon?" Bon Bon read aloud and then held the paper up in the air with one hoof. "Isn't that a little harsh? I already explained what happened." The mayor gave her an angry glare from beneath her bowl cut.

"Just be glad I didn't lock her up in an insane asylum." She answered in a dark tone.

"Alright fine." Bon Bon sighed in defeat. "Mental therapy sessions too?"

"Three times a week." The lawyer added on to her sentence. Bon Bon face hoofed as she took it all in.

"Lyra I swear you know how to royal screw yourself." Bon Bon muttered under her breath as she signed the legal document.