Fluttershy and Trixie, Pharmaceutical Sales Representatives

by Syeekoh

Rating: teen
Tags: Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Fluttershy
Length: 14422

Fluttershy and Trixie shill drugs to doctors for money.

Fluttershy has just been accepted at Transpicuous Pharmaceuticals as their newest Sales Representative. When she finds out who her partner is, though, she's a little apprehensive about her associate's character.

Published 2014-04-04 18:10:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-28 20:57:39 UTC

The Art of the Sale

Fluttershy and Trixie trotted wordlessly to Town Hall, where they entered to see Cheerilee and Doctor Stable staring at the clock. Doctor Stable looked up upon hearing their hoofsteps.

“Hello, girls.”

Cheerilee shot her head up. “Hello!”

Trixie smiled and nodded, Fluttershy aping her actions. “Now that we’ve all met,” Trixie said, “why don’t we go grab some lunch?”

“Trixie,” Cheerilee said, “it’s five in the afternoon.”

Trixie kept the insincere smile going strong. “Dinner, then?”

Cheerilee and Doctor Stable both nodded. “Shall we?” Doctor Stable asked.

“Let’s,” Trixie said and led the group out of Town Hall. They quickly formed two groups, Trixie trotting alongside Doctor Stable and Fluttershy trotting next to Cheerilee.

Trixie looked up to the stallion next to her. “So, Doctor, have you any special somepony in your life?”

The doctor closed his eyes, then opened them. “I hardly think that’s any of your business, Trixie.”

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t mean to pry.”

“That’s quite alright.” They went back to walking while Trixie had a sly smile across her face.

Behind them, Fluttershy and Cheerilee were having an animated conversation.

“So, what are you teaching the foals now, Cheerilee?”

Cheerilee giggled. “The class is learning about combinatorics this unit.”

“Oh really? What area?”

“Enumerative. Are you familiar with that?”

Fluttershy nodded. “I’d really like to hear you explain it, though.”

Cheerilee smiled. “Well, it deals with the number of ways that certain patterns can be formed.” Fluttershy nodded in excitement.

“Well, we’re here,” Trixie announced, “ready for dinner?”

Doctor Stable looked up at the restaurant. “Isn’t this place a little...expensive?”

Trixie shook her head. “Nonsense! The entire meal is covered by Transpicuous Pharmaceuticals. Let’s go in, shall we?”

Cheerilee looked at the restaurant, then shrugged her shoulders and trotted in, everypony following as they took their seats. A server, a tan unicorn, quickly strode up to them.

“Welcome to the Bluelight Café. Can I start you out with some appetizers?”

“I’ll have the cream of mushroom soup, thank you,” Cheerilee said.

“I’ll be having the carrot bisque myself,” Doctor Stable said.

“A garden salad, if you please,” Fluttershy said.

“And I’ll have the Clams Casino,” Trixie said, which drew glares from everypony at the table. Trixie glared at them. “What? They’re damn tasty!” The unicorn nodded and briskly trotted away. Trixie then looked across the table, “So, let’s talk about why we’re here today…”

“You mean the Desoxyn?” Doctor Stable asked. Trixie nodded and pulled out two pamphlets from her saddlebags, floating them over to the doctor and Cheerilee, the former grasping it in his magic with the latter grabbing it in her hooves.

“Why yes, I see you’ve done your homework!” Trixie then put her hoof on Doctor Stable’s, receiving a smile from Doctor Stable.

Cheerilee looked over the pamphlet, confused. “How exactly does it work?”

Trixie nodded. “Butterfly—”

“—Fluttershy—”

“—my lovely partner can explain it to you. Now, if you please?” Trixie said while motioning her hoof over to Fluttershy. Fluttershy gulped.

“Well, from what I understand, Desoxyn is a potent full agonist of trace amine-associated receptor one, which either completely inhibits or reverses the transport direction of the dopamine transporter, the norepinephrine transporter, and the serotonin transporter.” Doctor Stable nodded, while Cheerilee raised an eyebrow at Fluttershy.

“Which does what?”

“Cure Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder!” Trixie said.

Doctor Stable furrowed his brow. “And what is Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?”

Trixie nodded. “It’s a neurodevelopmental disorder that primarily presents itself in children where they are having problems paying attention, are incredibly hyperactive, or are acting impulsively.” Cheerilee giggled at that. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Cheerilee said, “it just sounds like you’re trying to shill a way to cure childhood.” Trixie’s eyes widened at that.

“No, no, no, not at all! This medication is to only be used in extreme cases of said behavior, like, like—”

“—the Cutie Mark Crusaders!” Fluttershy helpfully cut in with. Trixie sighed in relief just as their appetizers were served to them. Trixie grinned in delight as she picked up a clam shell in her magic, shoved the whole thing in her mouth, and skinned the inside of the clam with her teeth, putting it back on the plate. Doctor Stable picked up a spoon in his magic and ladled the bisque into his mouth. Fluttershy and Cheerilee put their muzzles into the soup bowl and dug in. When they were all finished, they sat back to digest their appetizers. Trixie then stood up.

“If you’ll excuse Butterfly—”

“—Fluttershy—”

“—and me, we have to go powder our muzzles.”

Fluttershy looked up at Trixie. “We do?”

“Yes, we do,” Trixie said between gritted teeth, “now let’s go, shall we?”

Fluttershy hurriedly nodded and stood up, following Trixie to the Mare’s Room. When the door was closed, Trixie shot a glare at Fluttershy. “What are you doing in there?”

“What do you mean?”

Trixie groaned. “Why weren’t you trying to seduce Cheerilee?”

Fluttershy glared at Trixie. “So, you remember her name—”

“—not the point. Why weren’t you trying to seduce her?”

“I didn’t realize we had to seduce our clients.” Trixie facehooved.

“That’s exactly what being a Pharmaceutical Sales Representative is about! You didn’t find it suspicious that they’re all mares?”

Fluttershy shrugged. “Not really…” Trixie facehooved again. “Anyway, I’m not really into mares.”

Trixie glared at Fluttershy. “Again, not the point. Play a little hoovesies, offer a hoof over the table, it’s not that hard!” Fluttershy blushed.

“Well, you see, I’ve never even kissed a mare before.” Trixie then got a gleam in her eyes.

“Well, we can fix that.”

“What are you—” Fluttershy started before Trixie grabbed the sides of her head and kissed her forcefully.

“Am I interrupting something?” Trixie and Fluttershy both turned their eyes to see Cheerilee standing in the bathroom, watching them kiss. They quickly disengaged the kiss, both of them blushing profusely.

“No, not at all,” Trixie said, “that’s...just how we say hello in the sales rep business! Hello, Cheerilee!” Trixie then grabbed Cheerilee’s head and forcefully kissed her, then pulled away, Cheerilee standing in a stupor while Fluttershy stared on in shock. “Say hello to Cheerilee, Fluttershy,” Trixie said between gritted teeth.

Fluttershy looked at Trixie, then Cheerilee in confusion, when it hit her. “Oh, hello, Cheerilee!” Fluttershy then grabbed Cheerilee’s head, engaging her in a deep tongue kiss. The piddling of urine was heard on the floor. Fluttershy then disengaged the kiss, blushing furiously. Trixie nodded.

“Well, then,” Trixie said as she walked out of the restroom. Fluttershy nodded to Cheerilee, who was still stunned. She then followed Trixie out of the restroom, catching up with her. “Told you she’d be into it!” Trixie whispered.

“But you never said—” Fluttershy started before she was cut off.

“Hello, Doctor Stable!” Trixie said as she took her seat, Fluttershy sitting next to her. Soon after, Cheerilee trotted in and took her seat. She leveled a seductive glare a Fluttershy, who blushed profusely in response.

The four of them sat at their table, currently engaged in a food coma. The server trotted up to them, handed them a parchment folder, then trotted away.

“I’ll handle this,” Trixie said as she took the folder and examined the bill. Shen then pulled a wallet out of her saddlebag, pulled a metal card out of it, slipped it into the folder, then put the folder onto the table. She then flagged down the waiter who promptly cantered over to the table, picked up the folder and examined the card inside. He then looked up at the table.

“I’m sorry, we don’t accept Equestrian Express here.” Trixie facehooved.

“Well, do you accept checks?” The waiter nodded. She pulled out her checkbook, a quill, and an inkwell. She then opened the checkbook, dipped the quill into the inkwell, scrawled out the amount on the check. She then ripped it out with her magic and handed it to the waiter, who nodded.

“Thank you for dining at the Bluelight Café.” He then trotted away. Trixie then pulled out two tickets and handed them to Doctor Stable and Cheerilee. They both grabbed them and examined them.

“What are these for?” Doctor Stable asked.

“Oh, nothing,” Trixie said, “it’s just a small token from Transpicuous Pharmaceuticals thanking you for your patronage. Come on, Butterfly—”

“—Fluttershy—”

“—let’s take our leave.” Fluttershy nodded, stood up, and followed Trixie out of the restaurant.

“What did you hand them?” Fluttershy whispered.

“Two passes to the Ponyville Spa.” Fluttershy glared at Trixie. “What? It’s standard company policy.”

“So we bribe them so that they prescribe our drugs?”

Trixie sighed. “Bribe is such a dirty word. Think of it more as...incentive.”

Fluttershy nodded unsurely, then looked down. “Incentive...Trixie, this job bothers me.”

Trixie giggled. “Weren’t you the one saying that you needed the money?”

“...I guess so—”

“Well, there you go, problem solved! Besides, you’re a natural,” Trixie then stopped and faced Fluttershy, “why, with my natural showmareship, and your freaky knowledge of pharmaceuticals, we could make a killing at this!”

Fluttershy nodded. “I suppose so…”

Trixie smiled. “Well, then, I’d say it’s time we retire for the day, don’t you think?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “I kind of wanted to get new outfits. I mean, the green blazer is nice, but it’d be great to have options…” A flash of realization came into Trixie’s eyes.

“Of course! And we could use the company card!”

“Really?”

“Yes, it’s a business expense! Now where can we get some new threads in this podunk town?” Fluttershy glared at Trixie.

“Well, I suppose we could go to Carousel Boutique…”

Trixie stared at Fluttershy. “Do they accept Equestrian Express?” Fluttershy nodded, upon which Trixie beamed. “Well, then, lead the way!” Fluttershy nodded and led Trixie on their trek to Carousel Boutique.

A Better Future

Fluttershy and Trixie wordlessly trotted over to Carousel Boutique. Trixie gazed upon it in wonder.

“It looks like...a giant carousel,” she said.

Fluttershy giggled. “I know, isn’t it cute?”

“That’s one way of putting it…” Trixie said. Fluttershy trotted over to the door and opened it, motioning Trixie over. Trixie shrugged and entered, Fluttershy following. Inside was an absolute mess of activity, with dress parts hanging in the air, needles stitching what must have been twenty separate dresses together, and a white and purple blur that seemed to buzz around the place. Trixie’s eyes widened in shock. “What the hay is this?”

Fluttershy giggled. “You’ll see...Rarity!” The purple and white blur slowed down to reveal a white unicorn with a purple mane and a wickedly curved red horn jutting out of the top of her head. Rarity beamed at Fluttershy.

“Hello, darling, how nice of you to drop in! Is there something I can do for you?”

“AHHHH!” Trixie screamed, backing away from Rarity while pointing her hoof at Rarity’s horn. Rarity glared at Trixie.

“You know, it’s rude to point, Trixie,” Rarity said while flipping her mane, “not that I would expect somepony like you to realize that. Anyway, what are you doing hanging out with such trash, Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “We’re not hanging out. We’re partners.” Rarity’s eyes widened at that.

“So you got the job?” Rarity said. Fluttershy nodded. Rarity rushed over to hug her friend. “Oh, wonderful! So how do you like it so far?”

Fluttershy smiled in Rarity’s embrace, then pulled away. “It’s...interesting.”

Rarity raised an eyebrow at that. “Interesting...how?”

Fluttershy shrugged. “Well, it wasn’t really what I was expecting. Apparently, being a pharmaceutical sales representative is more about the art of seduction and bribing ponies—”

“Providing incentive, Butterfly—”

“—Fluttershy. Anyway, it seems more like a job that you would like.”

Rarity shook her head. “I don’t have time to galavant off to exotic locations like that. Anyway, what are you selling?”

Fluttershy looked around shiftily. “Ideas?”

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “What, you mean like drug patents?”

Trixie, fully recovered from her freakout, raised to her hooves and dusted herself off. “Let me cut in. We’re selling the promise of a better future for all sapient beings through the use of our pharmaceuticals. We’re selling the idea the nopony need suffer from any neurological inconsistencies that separate them from normal pony society. We’re selling the belief that anypony, by trusting in Transpicuous Pharmaceuticals and their products, can strive to be more than who they are. In short, Rarity, we are selling the future, one pill at a time.” Rarity and Fluttershy were now staring at Trixie. Nopony said anything for a few seconds.

“Well...that’s certainly quite the pitch, Trixie,” Rarity said, breaking the silence.

“...why didn’t we tell Doctor Stable and Cheerilee that?” Fluttershy asked.

Trixie chuckled and shook her head. “Butterfly—”

“—Fluttershy—”

“—we can’t sell the drug on nebulous promises. We need to sell them on cold, hard, facts!”

“And free meals and spa passes,” Fluttershy said with a scowl.

“And that,” Trixie said.

Rarity arched an eyebrow. “Hmm. So, anyway, why did you come here?”

Fluttershy nodded. “We wanted new blazers.”

“And you accept Equestrian Express,” Trixie said.

“That I do,” Rarity said, “as for you two...Fluttershy, I was thinking pink and red, and for Trixie...I’d go with...white and yellow. Now let me just take your measurements…” Rarity’s horn glowed a light blue, then she disappeared as Fluttershy and Trixie felt a breeze pass by them. Rarity then appeared before them carrying four blazers in the previously mentioned colors.

Trixie’s eyes widened in shock. “How...how did you do that!?”

Rarity giggled as she hung the pink and red blazers on Fluttershy’s back and handed the white and yellow ones to Trixie, Trixie grasping them in her magic. “Oh, it’s just a simple Speed Up spell.”

“Simple!? You must have broken the sound barrier!”

Rarity tapped her red horn, smiling. “Well, ever since the incident, my magic has increased one-hundred fold, so Twilight taught me the Speed Up spell, thinking I could get much more use out of it than her. Apparently, reading comprehension doesn’t really mesh with the spell.” Trixie nodded dumbly while she pulled out her wallet and pulled out the metal Equestrian Express card, handing it to Rarity who grasped it in her magic, examining it. “Hmmm...Centurion. Don’t really see these around Ponyville much,” she said as she pulled out a card reader and swiped the card, “you know these are made of anodized titanium?” Rarity then floated the card back to Trixie, who stuffed it back in her wallet and put the wallet back in her saddlebags. Fluttershy shook hooves with Rarity.

“Thank you, Rarity. I wish I could stay and chat, but Trixie wanted to turn in before, right?” Trixie nodded dumbly.

“Er, yes, that’s right. Well, goodbye, Rarity.” Trixie slowly turned to the door and trotted out. Fluttershy giggled and trotted out behind her.

Trixie was sprawled out on the couch in Fluttershy’s living room while Fluttershy was sitting in the chair, petting Angel. Trixie currently had the bottle of brandy grasped in her magic, taking swigs out of it.

“So, Butterfly—”

“—Fluttershy—”

“—whatever. What do you like?”

“...I like animals.” Trixie rolled her eyes and took another swig out of the bottle.

“No, really?”

Fluttershy nodded, failing to pick up on Trixie’s sarcasm. “Ever since I got my Cutie Mark, I’ve always been fascinated by them. How they move, how they communicate, what makes them tick. Isn’t that right, Angel?” she said while scratching him behind the ears, Angel nodding in response. “So, what do you like, Trixie?”

Trixie took another swig out of the bottle of brandy. “Well, I don’t think I have an answer for that. Showmareship, I guess. It’s what my Cutie Mark represents, after all.”

Fluttershy looked up at Trixie. “Showmareship? I thought it was magic.”

Trixie shook her head. “You’d think that, but no. You see, I got my Cutie Mark at my first Talent Show at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns,” Trixie said, giggling, “I had managed to sneak in some fireworks and set them off for my act.” Trixie took another swig of the brandy. “Combined with my magic, it was a most marvelous show. Unfortunately, I was suspended for five days afterwards. Apparently the staff don’t take kindly to endangering the school for the sake of performance. Anyway, my Cutie Mark appeared after the end of the show.”

Fluttershy nodded. “That’s interesting, Trixie. What was it about?”

Trixie giggled. “Oh, nothing. Just about dear old me slaying a dragon. Seems silly now.” Trixie took another swig out of the bottle, then set it down next to the couch. She then stretched out and took a more comfortable position. “If you don’t mind. I’d like to get some rest.”

Fluttershy nodded, shooed Angel off her, then stood up. “Alright Trixie,” she said, yawning, “good night.”

“Good night, Butterfly.” Fluttershy opened her mouth to correct her, but stopped when she heard light snoring coming from the mare.

"Here's to a better future," Fluttershy said as she smiled, trotting upstairs while wondering what tomorrow would bring.

Ready For School

A week later, Applejack was sitting at the table, reading the paper. Fluttershy and Trixie had gone off to Canterlot to shill their new drug there, leaving Applejack in charge of Fluttershy’s animals. Apple Bloom trotted in and sat at the table.

“Applejack, when will breakfast be ready?”

“In a minute, hon,” Applejack said while flipping a page. Big Macintosh then trotted in and sat at the table, rubbing his shoulder. Applejack smiled and flipped a page. “Still feeling the hurt from our fight?”

“Eeyup.” Granny Smith then trotted in, holding a tray in her mouth.

“Eat up, youngins! Apple Fritters, straight from the oven!” Granny said while setting the tray on the table, then sitting down herself. She then steepled her hooves. “Now, say grace, y’all.” Everypony steepled their hooves. “Apple Bloom, would you like to lead us?”

Apple Bloom nodded. “Rub a dub dub, thanks fer tha grub!” Everypony then unsteepled their hooves and reached for an apple fritter, Granny staring at Apple Bloom in shock.

“Apple Bloom! Is that any way to say grace!?”

“Good enough fer me,” Applejack said as she stuffed an apple fritter into her mouth.

“Eeyup,” Big Mac agreed. Granny Smith shook her head and reached for an apple fritter. The Apple Family made quick work of them. Apple Bloom then got up and grabbed her saddlebags that were by the door and started to head out.

“Wait just a second, little filly,” Applejack said, causing Apple Bloom to stop in her tracks. “Aren’t you fergettin’ somethin’?”

“Uh, no?” Apple Bloom replied.

Applejack picked up her paper and shook her head. “Yes you are. Now go take it.” Apple Bloom’s head hung dejectedly as she trudged to the counter, pulled down an orange prescription bottle and fumbled around with it.

“Jeez, I can’t open this danged thing! Can you help me with this, big brother?”

Big Mac nodded. “Eeyup.” He then reached over to the bottle, plucked it out of Apple Bloom’s hooves and popped the top off with practiced ease, dumped out a pill and handed it to Apple Bloom. Apple Bloom shoved the pill in her mouth, swallowed, then trotted out the door. Granny Smith stood up.

“Well, ah gotta get some laundry done, and you best start yer chores as well.” Granny Smith then trotted out, leaving Big Macintosh and Applejack in the kitchen, the former holding the pill bottle, the latter reading her paper, flipping another page.

Big Mac stared at the bottle. “Hey, you think—”

“—nope.” Applejack kept reading. Big Mac shrugged and put the bottle back on the counter, then trotted outside. Applejack looked up from the paper at the pill bottle, then turned back to the paper, flipping another page.

Nope.

Sweetie Belle was devouring the pancakes her mother had made her at the kitchen table, along with her mom and dad. She was happily munching on them.

“So, Sweetie Belle,” her mom asked, “what are you learning in school?”

Sweetie Belle swallowed the piece in her mouth. “Combinatorics, mom!” Sweetie Belle’s parents each raised an eyebrow.

“And what is that again, honey?” her father asked.

“It’s hard to explain, but it has to do with counting things.” Sweetie Belle popped another piece of pancake in her mouth, chomping down on it.

“But isn’t that just regular arithmetic, dear?” her mother asked.

Sweetie Belle shook her head and swallowed. “Not really. It has more to do with counting permutations.” She then finished her pancakes and hopped off the chair, grabbed her saddlebags, headed to the counter, and grabbed the orange pill bottle. She then popped the top off with her magic, pulled out a pill, put the pill in her mouth and swallowed it.

“That’s a good girl, remembering to take your medication all by yourself!” her father said.

Sweetie Belle nodded. “That’s me!” and walked out the door. Her parents looked at each other.

“I swear, the things they’re learning in school nowadays...I can’t even keep up, Magnum!” her mother said.

Magnum chuckled. “Well, they are our future...best we prepare them for it as much as possible!” he said as he reached his hoof over to his wife’s squeezing it.

Her mother shook her head. “I just worry they’re learning too much, too soon, dear.”

“Well, I’m sure that if the school found it was too hard, they’d cut it out of the syllabus.”

“I hope you’re right, darling. I hope you’re right.”

Scootaloo had her saddlebags on her back and was rushing out the door.

“Wuh wuh-wuh wuh wuh wuh?” Scootaloo stopped in her tracks.

“Yes, dad, I have my things!”

“Wah wah wah-wah wah wah wah-wah?”

Scootaloo sighed. “I have my meds in my saddlebag, mom. I’ll take it at school!”

“Wuh-wuh wuh-wuh?”

Scootaloo facehooved. “I don’t need water to take it! Only foals need water!”

“Wah wah-wah!”

“Yes, mom, I’ll be careful!” Scootaloo then rushed out the door, wanting to get away from her parents. She could barely understand what they were so worried about. She was a big filly, she didn’t need them haranguing her constantly! Sighing, she began the short trot to school in peace.

Cheerilee trotted into the schoolhouse. “Now, now, settle—” she stared before she froze, seeing all of her pupils sitting at attention. Huh. “Well, then, before we start, how about some show and tell?” Nopony raised their hand. Cheerilee raised an eyebrow. “Well, then, what would you like to do?” A student raised his hand. “Featherweight?”

Featherweight nodded. “We would like to learn, please.” The other students nodded in agreement while Cheerilee’s jaw dropped in shock. She quickly regained her composure and smiled.

“Well, if you’d all like to learn, who am I to disappoint?”

Canterlot

Fluttershy and Trixie were on a train bound for Canterlot while Fluttershy looked at the scenery out of the window. She absentmindedly stroked Angel while Trixie sipped on some brandy. It had been a week since they had first met as sales partners. “Why did you bring that rabbit along?” Trixie asked, sipping on her brandy.

Fluttershy smiled. “Oh, Angel always has trouble when I’m away on long trips like this,” she said. She then giggled, “besides, he’s too much to handle for Applejack.” Trixie shrugged.

“Next stop, Canterlot!” the engineer shouted over the loudspeaker. Trixie slugged back the rest of her brandy as Fluttershy put Angel on her withers as they stood up, They grabbed their bags and headed towards the train door. The train slowed to a stop, the ponies getting off at the station.

“Well, where do we go now?” Fluttershy asked.

“Four-six-four Canter Boulevard. It’s where we’re meeting our contact, Viridian Shade,” Trixie said, “so come on, let’s go.” Fluttershy nodded and followed Trixie.

Fluttershy stared in awe at the large building that currently resided at 464 Canter Boulevard. “Wow…” she said in awe.

Trixie smiled. “This building is called a skyscraper. Completely built by ponies on Desoxyn,” she said as she cantered through the glass doors. Fluttershy kept looking up, then squeaked as she noticed that Trixie has gone inside and followed. Inside was a grand foyer with a large reception desk in the middle where Trixie was currently engaged in a conversation with the receptionist. Trixie nodded and trotted over to Fluttershy. “Saffron Screen here just told us that Viridian Shade is expecting us on the fiftieth floor. Come on.” Fluttershy’s eyes widened at that.

“T-the fiftieth floor! But that’ll take forever!” Trixie chuckled and shook her head.

“Dear Butterfly—”

“—Fluttershy—”

“—whatever. There are elevators in this building.” Fluttershy raised an eyebrow.

“Elevators?” Trixie nodded.

“Come on, I’ll show you,” Trixie said as she cantered off, Fluttershy following. They came to a door in the wall. Fluttershy stared in confusion as Trixie pushed a button on the wall. They waited around for a minute when the doors opened, presenting them with a room. Trixie trotted inside, motioning Fluttershy to come in. Fluttershy followed and saw an elderly unicorn in the corner.

“What floor, madames?” he asked politely.

“Fifty, please,” Trixie said. The elevator operator nodded and focused. The elevator shifted, causing Fluttershy to jump, then started whizzing up the shaft. Fluttershy and Trixie stood in silence, shifting uncomfortably. Finally, the elevator reached its destination, the doors opening.

“Good day to you, madames,” the elevator operator said.

“Thank you,” Fluttershy said, following Trixie to a pair of glass doors, which Trixie opened. Inside was a giant desk where a unicorn stallion with a green coat and a black mane sat.

“Girls! So nice to meet the stars of Ponyville!”

Trixie smiled and nodded. “It’s nice to meet you too, Viridian Shade.” Fluttershy nodded in agreement.

“So who’s this little cutie?” Viridian Shade asked. Fluttershy blushed.

“Oh, that’s Angel.” Viridian Shade grinned, then waved at Angel. Angel hissed and pawed at Viridian Shade. “Angel! That’s no way to greet a friend! Apologize!” Angel kept his eye trained on the green unicorn, growling. “I’m sorry, Mr. Shade, he usually doesn’t overreact like this.”

Viridian Shade chuckled. “That’s alright, Fluttershy. I tend not to get along with animals,” he said as he pulled out a sheet of paper. “My report from Orange Penumbra says that you’ve made a killing in Ponyville!”

Trixie raised an eyebrow. “How did you…” she started before being quickly cut off by Viridian.

“But Canterlot is a different animal altogether. For your next clients, whose names are Principal Starshine Song and Doctor Nebulous Wind, we’d like you to focus more on the antiobesity and the sharpening of the mind that Desoxyn creates.” Trixie and Fluttershy nodded.

“Where will we be staying?” Trixie asked.

Viridian Shade smiled, then floated over two keycards and two passes to the ponies. “You’ll be staying at the Crowne Plaza, on Mountain Avenue. You’ll be greeting your clients at the Greenlight Lounge. You will be giving them these as incentive. Any other questions?” Fluttershy and Trixie shook their heads. “That’s great. Now go off and make some magic happen!”

Trixie smiled and nodded. “We will, Viridian Shade.” She then trotted off, Fluttershy following.

Fluttershy could hardly believe her eyes at the grand hotel room before her. It was big, with two beds, a desk, a minibar, and a window that overlooked the whole city. Trixie took the opportunity to canter in and flop onto the closest bed, stretching out when she landed. Angel hopped off of Fluttershy and bounded over to the other bed. Trixie yawned loudly, then popped open the minibar with her magic and pulled out a small bottle of vodka, unscrewed the top, then took a swig, Fluttershy staring on nervously.

“You know, Trixie, you really drink a lot.”

Trixie scoffed. “What do you know?”

Fluttershy trotted over to the bed that Angel was lounging on and sat down. “Why do you drink so much?”

Trixie laughed derisively. “You should have seen me on that damned rock farm!” she said as she took another swig. Fluttershy shifted uncomfortably.

“So, what do you want to do now?”

Trixie shrugged. “I hadn’t really thought about it. I did hear that there was this new movie out.”

“Really? What’s it called?”

“My Little Unicorn:Magic is Believing. Wanna see it?”

Fluttershy nodded. “Sounds fun. But do we have time?”

Trixie took a swig, nodded, and sat up. “We should have enough time.” Fluttershy then stood up.

“Alright, what are we waiting for?”

Trixie stood up. “I don’t know, let’s go see it!”

Two hours later, Trixie and Fluttershy trotted out of the theater with shocked looks on their faces.

“Well, that was...interesting,” Fluttershy said.

Trixie glared at Fluttershy. “Interesting? That’s the best adjective you could come up with? Try terrible, horrible, or hideous on for size! That movie made me want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon! I want to puke all over everypony involved in that abortion of a movie!” she said, Fluttershy cringing at that last word.

“Well, it was mesmerizing…” Fluttershy offered.

Trixie scoffed. “When mesmerizing is the best word you can use to describe a movie, that’s terrible. Now let’s head over to the Greenlight Lounge, shall we?”

Fluttershy nodded and followed Trixie to their destination. Upon approaching their destination, they found two ponies standing outside. Trixie trotted over to them. “Nebulous Wind and Starshine Song?” They both nodded. “Hello, I’m Trixie Lulamoon and this here is my lovely assistant,” she said, motioning over to Fluttershy.

“Fluttershy,” Fluttershy said.

“And we’re here to discuss the pharmaceutical of the future! Shall we talk about this inside?” They both nodded and trotted in, Fluttershy and Trixie following.

The Greenlight Lounge

The four of them found a table and sat down, Trixie sizing up their marks while Butterfly was looking down. She scanned them — Doctor Nebulous Wind, a cyan unicorn with an orange mane and Principal Starshine Song, a pink unicorn with a purple mane wearing a pair of horn-rimmed glasses.Trixie breathed in, then out.

“So I guess you know why you’re both here today,” she said.

“Yes, the Desoxyn,” Nebulous Wind said. Starshine adjusted her glasses.

“It’s nice to see you doing something with your life that doesn’t involve explosives, Trixie,” Starshine said. Trixie blushed.

“Well, you know, follow the market and all that,” she said as she pulled out two pamphlets and floated them over to the two unicorns, who grasped them in their magic, examining them with great care.

“So, tell me, Great and Powerful Trixie,” Starshine Song said with a hint of disdain, “why should I recommend that our students should take your magic drug?”

“Yes, I was wondering that myself…” Nebulous Wind said.

Trixie gulped. “Well, ah, you see—”

“We’re waiting, Trixie,” Starshine Song said. Trixie furrowed her brow, at a loss for words, when to her surprise, Butterfly spoke up.

“Well, you see, Mrs. Song, wouldn’t you want your students to perform at their peak?”

Starshine Song looked up. “I’m interested.” Butterfly nodded.

“Well, Mrs. Song, this drug inhibits reuptake of dopamine, causing those under its effects to have an endless drive to succeed and exceed. Why, I wouldn’t be surprised if your entire class got top marks while taking this medication!” Starshine Song nodded. Butterfly then turned to Nebulous Wind.

“And Dr. Wind, haven’t you ever had a patient that couldn’t get those extra pounds off, no matter how hard they tried? Well, Desoxyn is also an anorexiant, limiting the desire to eat. It’d be a much better and much less invasive option than liposuction, don’t you think?”

Nebulous Wind nodded. “Yes, very much so. I have a question, though.” Butterfly nodded.

“Yes, Mr. Wind?”

“Would it be covered by insurance?”

“Yes, Mr. Wind!” Trixie said, “obesity is an on-label use for the drug!”

“And what about my students?” Starshine asked, “I rather think performance enhancement is off-label?”

Trixie nodded. “Just tell the parents they have ADHD. They’ll eat it up.” Starshine nodded.

“I see. Deceptive as ever, Trixie. At least you’re using it to help your alma mater as opposed to burning it to the ground,” Starshine said, adjusting her glasses. A server trotted up to the table.

“Hello, ladies and gentlecolt, and welcome to the Greenlight Lounge. What will you be having to drink?”

“Tequilla Sunrise for me, thank you,” Nebulous Wind said.

“An appletini,” Starshine Song said.

“Screwdriver for me,” Trixie said.

“A little glass of water, please,” Butterfly ordered, strangely enough. The server nodded and trotted away. Trixie then saw a white unicorn with a striped cyan and azure mane sneak up behind Butterfly. She grasped a knife in her magic and hid it under the table. The white unicorn then tapped Butterfly on the shoulder.

“Eep!” Butterfly squeaked as she turned around, “Wh-who are you?” The white unicorn had a stupid smile on her face as she scratched the back of her neck.

“Are you...the Element of Kindness?” she asked. Butterfly nodded, at which the white unicorn squealed.

“Ohmigosh ohmigosh ohmigosh! I’m such a fan of you! Can I get your autograph?” Butterfly stared weirdly at her, then nodded uneasily. The white unicorn hastily floated a quill already dipped along with a piece of paper. Butterfly grabbed the quill in her mouth and signed the paper, the white unicorn grasping the quill back in her magic, squealing again as she trotted off. Trixie stared at Butterfly in bemusement.

“So it seems you have your fans, Butterfly—”

“—Fluttershy—”

“—whatever.” Butterfly nodded.

“It...kind of comes with the territory.” Trixie mused at that.

“I wonder why I don’t have any fans,” Trixie said.

Starshine Song sighed. “Explosions don’t get fans.” Trixie glared at Starshine, then shied away at the death glare that Starshine was returning. The server came with their drinks, nodded, then trotted away. Trixie sighed and took a great swig of her drink as the unicorns slowly sipped on theirs. “Slow down, Trixie, it’s not like it’s going to run away,”

“Shut up,” Trixie said as she guzzled the last of the drink. “I’ll drink as quickly as I damn well want to. Another screwdriver, waiter!” A server quickly rushed away to the kitchen, then trotted back a minute later with the screwdriver, which Trixie greedily grasped in her magic and guzzled down. Butterfly, looking down, stood up.

“I think I’m going to powder my muzzle,” Butterfly said as she trotted away. Trixie arched an eyebrow in her direction.

“What do you think’s gotten into her?” she asked as she took another swig out of the glass. Starshine Song and Nebulous Wind shrugged.

Inside the bathroom, Fluttershy splashed her face with water. She felt bad about abruptly leaving like that, but it pained her to see Trixie drink so much. She sighed, then softened her features. She’d simply go back out there and apologize for leaving so rudely, then talk to Trixie about her drinking later in the hotel room. She turned towards the door when she saw the white unicorn from before, slyly grinning at her.

“Hey, Fluttershy,” she said. Fluttershy shifted uncomfortably.

“Hey...Vinyl, was it?” Vinyl nodded.

“Oh, you know my name! That should make this easy, then,” Vinyl said as she trotted resolutely towards Fluttershy, Fluttershy trotting backwards.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Fluttershy asked as she was backed towards the wall, standing up on her hind hooves. Vinyl got up on her hind hooves as well and put her forehooves on the wall behind Fluttershy. She then leaned into Fluttershy.

“Taking what I want,” she whispered into Fluttershy’s ear, causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up on end, “and I always get what I want.” Vinyl then licked Fluttershy’s neck, causing Fluttershy to cringe.

“And I wanna see you smile,” Vinyl whispered. Fluttershy gulped.

“I need an adult,” she managed to squeak out.

What Friends Are For

Vinyl started planting kisses on Fluttershy’s neck while she shivered in terror.

“I need an adult, I need an adult, I need an adult,” she kept repeating.

Vinyl looked up into Fluttershy’s face, grinning. “What’s the problem? All I see are two consenting adults right here,” Vinyl said. She then frowned. “But I still don’t see you smiling,” she said as her face drew back into a grin, “but I know how to fix that.” Vinyl then planted a kiss on Fluttershy’s lips, then pulled away, seeing tears on Fluttershy’s face while she hyperventilated.

“I need an adult, I need an adult,” Fluttershy kept chanting between gasps. Vinyl waggled her eyebrows at Fluttershy, then moved to kiss her clavicle when she was grasped in a blue glow and thrown into the mirror, cracking it and falling onto the sinks. Fluttershy looked up to see Trixie drunkenly stagger towards Vinyl.

“Nopony violates Butterfly except for the Great and Powerful Trixie!” Trixie yelled as she leapt up onto the sink, straddling Vinyl. Vinyl looked up at Trixie confusedly.

“Who’s Butterfly—” she started to ask before she was hit in the face with a right cross, “ow, what the hay—” she started again before she was hit with a left cross to the face. Trixie then got off of Vinyl, then slammed her head into the mirror, knocking her out and cracking the mirror further. Trixie then ripped off a towel bar with her magic and twisted it around Vinyl’s forehooves. Fluttershy looked up, ran towards Trixie, and hugged her tightly.

“Thank you, Trixie,” she said while crying into her shoulder. Trixie stared confusedly at Fluttershy, then uneasily patted her withers.

“Well, anything for a friend, I guess, Butterfly.”

“My name’s Fluttershy, but thank you.” Trixie stared at her in bemusement.

“Really? Fluttershy?” Fluttershy nodded into Trixie’s shoulder. She then gently pushed Fluttershy off of her. “We don’t want another incident like Ponyville, now do we?” Trixie said as she laughed uneasily. Fluttershy nodded, tears still streaming down her face.

“I guess not. Let’s go back to work.”

“Let’s,” and with that, they walked out of the bathroom together.

“By the way, you really need to work on your one-liners.”

“Shut up. I was in the heat of the moment.”

After the incident in the bathroom, Trixie had convinced the manager to give them their drinks free of charge.

“You know, I admire your work ethic, Fluttershy,” Starshine Song said as she twirled her appletini in her magic, then took a sip, “most ponies wouldn’t just pick up and go right back to work after being sexually assaulted.”

Fluttershy shrugged, her eyes red. “I’ve been through worse. Being an Element of Harmony does that to a mare.”

Starshine Song nodded. “Oh, well, there’s another bad apple from Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns,” she said as she watched the Royal Guard escort Vinyl out of the restaurant, “I guess they all can’t be Twilight Sparkles.”

Trixie’s eyes flashed at that. “I guess we can’t all be Twilight Sparkles after all,” she said through gritted teeth, “another screwdriver!” she yelled out. A server quickly trotted up with another screwdriver which Trixie grasped in her magic and sipped on. Fluttershy picked up her little glass of water and sipped on it as well.

Nebulous Wind sipped on his Tequila Sunrise. “Well, after much consideration, I think that the Desoxyn will be a good idea.”

Trixie nodded eagerly. “That sounds, great, Dr. Wind!” She then looked towards Starshine Song. “And you, Principal Song?”

Starshine sighed, then set her appletini down. “I suppose I’ll start recommending it to parents.”

Fluttershy nodded at that, then set her glass of water down. “That sounds great, Principal Song,”

“Call me Starshine,” Starshine said. Fluttershy nodded.

“Well, Starshine, that sounds great, but we really must be going now,” she said as she stood up. Trixie stood up as well, pulling out two tickets and floating them over the the two unicorns, who grasped them and studied them.

“A pass to the Canterlot Museum of Art?” Nebulous Wind asked. Trixie nodded.

“A thank you for your patronage,” she said as she walked out with Fluttershy.

They trotted wordlessly to their hotel, Trixie sliding the keycard into the door, then opening it to reveal a cloud of smoke. “Ugh, it smells like cigar smoke and sex in here! What could have happened in—” she started before she stopped in her tracks. Fluttershy trotted in to see a bunny pile on top of her bed, with Angel at the top, pulling in on a fat cigar, then exhaling rings of smoke. Fluttershy giggled, while Trixie looked apoplectic, for in addition to the rabbit pile, there were several trays of very expensive food inside of the room.

“What the hay happened in here!?” Trixie shouted, “Out! Out with all of you!” she shouted to the hare pile. They remained where they were, Angel flipping Trixie off. Trixie started fuming.

“Angel,” Fluttershy said between giggling, “that’s not nice! Now could all of you does leave the room?” she asked. All of the rabbits that weren’t Angel quickly scampered out of the room, Trixie staring in shock.

Trixie then leaned out of the room, yelling, “And don’t come back!” Trixie then turned to Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, what the hay did that rabbit do?”

Fluttershy chuckled. “He did what rabbits do.” Trixie groaned. “I will need a cot, though.”

“Fine,” Trixie said as she trotted over to the bell by the door and rung it profusely, “how did your rabbit manage to order room service, anyway?” Angel stuffed the cigar in his mouth and hopped over to the desk, hopped up onto it, grabbed a pencil and wrote on a piece of paper. He held up the paper which said like this on it. Trixie groaned. “Of course. How am I supposed to explain…” she asked while lifting up the lids on the trays,”...fifty orders of carrot soufflé?”

Fluttershy shrugged. “I guess write it off as a business expense?” Trixie groaned.

“I bet the boys in accounting will have a field day with this.” Angel hopped back onto his bed and took a puff of his cigar while smiling.

“I told you he was trouble,” Fluttershy said, smiling.

Thoughts

Twilight smiled happily as she floated a book on mechanical engineering over to Snips and Snails, Snails grasping in in his magic.

“Thank you, Twilight,” Snails said.

Twilight nodded, still smiling. “The pleasure is all mine.” Snips and Snails nodded, then exited the library. Twilight wrote down the book they had taken out on the Out sheet, noting that it had become quite full as of late. She then felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand straight up as she heard a snapping sound coming from behind her. “Hello, Discord,” she said through gritted teeth.

“Hey yourself,” the draconequus said as he lazily drifted over to the couch and floated a book over to him.

“What brings you to my library?” Twilight said, her writing becoming more rapid.

“Oh, nothing,” Discord said as he licked a talon and flipped a page, “just bored, is all.”

Twilight sharply tapped the period on the paper and began to write out requests for new books. “Well, if you’re bored, why don’t you do something?”

Discord sighed. “That’s the thing. With Fluttershy out of town and the rest of your friends avoiding me like the plague, I’ve got nopony to play with.”

Twilight’s scribbling became even more rapid. “Have you tried the Cutie Mark Crusaders?”

Discord shrugged, flipping a page. “I tried them already. They’re too busy doing homework.” Twilight’s quill snapped. “Apparently, it’s all the rage now. Who knew?”

Twilight smiled. “Well, at least they’re doing something useful. What could be so wrong with that?” she asked as she floated over another quill pen, dipped it in an inkwell, and continued writing out requests.

Discord flipped another page. “It’s not natural,” he said, upon which Twilight began giggling. Discord fixed a glare upon Twilight. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It’s nothing,” Twilight said between fits of giggling, “it’s just that I thought I’d never hear those words come out of your mouth. Isn’t ‘not natural’ your schtick?”

Discord shrugged and turned back to his book. “Point taken,” he said, flipping another page, “but doesn’t it seem weird that they’re not out crusading?”

Twilight kept writing, switching to another sheet. “Maybe they just figured that their Cutie Marks would come to them in time, like every other foal.”

Discord shook his head as he flipped another page. “Don’t you see, Twilight? That damnable drug has taken away their childhood, their raison d'être...all the kids in Ponyville are acting like you.”

Twilight stifled a giggle. “And what’s wrong with that, Discord? I think it’s a great thing.”

Discord sighed, flipping another page. “The problem is, they’re not you. They’re goddamned kids. They should be free to engage in all the chaos they want.”

Twilight shook her head. “You know, Celestia never told me what a god was.”

Discord shrugged. “I’ll tell you when you’re older.” Twilight glared at Discord, then went back to her requests. “Anyway, my point still stands. Kids should be kids, not studying robots.” He then flipped another page.

Twilight then looked up from her request forms to stare at Discord. “Why did you come here, anyway? Don’t you have more important immortals to be messing with?”

“Eh. Not really,” Discord said as he flipped another page.

Twilight looked at the book that Discord was reading. “Are you reading that upside down?”

Discord nodded. “Gets the creative juices flowing,” he said as he flipped another page, “what would you do if you had one day left to live?”

Twilight looked up, confused by Discord’s question. “Is that a threat?”

Discord shook his head. “No, just wondering.”

Twilight looked down, thinking of what she would do. She’s have to say goodbye to her parents, and all of her friends, not to mention figure out who would run the library. She’d have to squeeze in time with Shining Armor and Princess Cadance—

“If you’re taking this long to think about it, you’ve failed miserably,” Discord said, flipping another page. Twilight looked up in indignation. She never failed anything! She opened her mouth to speak before she was cut off by Discord. “This is your last day. This is all of our last days.Were you thinking of groveling to your friends and family? Wrong answer. Every day is your last day, so why should you treat it any differently?”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “That’s awfully nihilist of you.”

“Existentialist,” Discord said as he flipped another page, “when you’ve lived as long as I do, you tend to take a warped view of things.”

Twilight glared at Discord. “So I suppose you consider yourself some sort of überpony?”

Discord shook his head. “Not really. I used to think I was above it all, until I developed a friendship with Fluttershy. Now I see the potential in all ponies. Take the Cutie Mark Crusaders, for instance. There they were, happily going about without a care in the world, getting good grades while simultaneously going on with their entertaining crusades. Now, it’s homework, homework, homework. The Cutie Mark Crusaders used to mean something!”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “And what was that, exactly?”

Discord sat up and stared at Twilight, making Twilight slightly uncomfortable. “That no matter what society tells them, they will evolve beyond the pony that they were before. Even through all their failures, they advance a bit further with each turn,” Discord said. He then laid back down on the couch and flipped another page, “sometimes, I really thought they were going to pierce the heavens.”

Twilight looked back down on her request forms and started writing. “You’re talking weird, Discord.”

Discord giggled. “When do I not?”

Twilight shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“So you should ignore everything that I’ve said,” Discord said as he closed the book and floated it over to the shelf. He then floated up to his full height. “Well, it appears I’ve given you a lot to not think about, haven’t I?”

Twilight shook her head. “I suppose you did.” Discord nodded and snapped his fingers, leaving the library empty. Twilight had little time to think before the three fillies they were talking about earlier entered the library. “Welcome to Golden Oaks Library! What can I get you three fillies today?”

Sweetie Belle nodded. “A book on enumerative combinatorics, please.”

Twilight nodded, noting the monotone in her voice as she floated over a book over to Sweetie Belle. “Aren’t you covering this in class?”

Apple Bloom nodded. “We are trying for extra credit.”

Twilight nodded uneasily. “I see.”

“Thank you, Twilight,” Scootaloo said. The three of them then left the library as quickly as they came, leaving Twilight in shock. She thought that maybe Discord had a point, after all...

Welcome to Hoofington

Fluttershy shifted uncomfortably in her train seat, wearing her pink blazer. She was stroking Angel’s head as she looked out the window. Next to her, Trixie was reading an issue of Glamare while she sipped on a screwdriver.

“Look at these pictures!” Trixie said, sipping on her drink, “you can hardly tell what’s real and what isn’t! Why, I bet that all of these models have tail extensions!” Fluttershy ignored her, staring at the scenery.

“Any thoughts on our next destination?” Fluttershy asked, absentmindedly stroking Angel, who purred.

“Hoofington?” Trixie asked as she took another sip of her screwdriver, “it’s a nice city. Not too crowded, but still enough ponies around to justify a nightlife.”

“Isn’t this where you’re from?”

Trixie nodded. “Yes. Yes it is.” She took another sip of her drink.

“Hmmm,” Fluttershy said. She then noticed groupings of houses outside of the window. “Why are those houses so close together?”

Trixie giggled. “That’s a suburb.”

“Suburb?”

Trixie took another sip of her drink and flipped a page with her magic. “A residential area surrounding a city.”

“Ok.”

Trixie nodded and tried to sip on her drink, noticing that it was empty. “Another screwdriver!” A waiter trotted up to her with another screwdriver, which she grasped in her magic and took a swig of. Fluttershy sighed.

“Trixie, I wish you wouldn’t drink so much.”

“Shut up.”

“No really, it’s bad for you—”

“Not now, Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy sighed and kept looking out the window. “So, who are we meeting in Hoofington? You must have met him before.”

Trixie nodded as she sipped on her drink, engrossed in her magazine. “Oh, yes. He’s a very personable pegasus called Eggshell Shadow.” Fluttershy turned to Trixie and raised an eyebrow.

“Eggshell Shadow?”

Trixie nodded. “Did I stutter?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “No...it just seems kind of strange…”

“Strange? How?” Trixie sipped on her screwdriver again.

“It’s just...have you noticed that everypony we’ve been dealing with that’s associated with Transpicuous has had a name that’s a color followed by a synonym for shadow?”

Trixie turned a page of her magazine. “I think they’re related.”

Fluttershy looked at Trixie. “Really? A family owned pharmaceutical company?

Trixie nodded. “It’s not like it’s unheard of to have a family owned business,” Trixie said as she sipped on her drink.

“But a big corporation?”

“They probably all have stock in it or something,” Trixie said as she flipped a page.

Fluttershy nodded uneasily. “I guess that makes sense.”

Trixie nodded, flipping to another page. “Of course is does.”

“But don’t you think their names would all have to do with chemicals?”

Trixie let out a hearty guffaw as she sipped on her drink. “Fluttershy, do you realize how ridiculous that would sound? Besides, most of the chemicals didn’t even exist when these ponies were born, so you’d end up with a pony named Thorium Nitrate or something awful like that!”

Fluttershy looked out the window. “I guess so.”

A female voice came on over the loudspeaker, “Next stop, Hoofington.”

Trixie slugged her drink down and stood up. “This is our stop, Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy turned her head and nodded, standing up. “Ok.”

A grin danced across Trixie’s face. “Hoofington, here we come!”

“So, where are we going again?” Fluttershy asked, looking around.

“Forty-forty Horseshoe Street,” Trixie said, looking dead ahead.

Fluttershy kept looking around. “Why isn’t anypony saying hi to you? I thought you were from around here.”

Trixie shook her head. “Fluttershy, Hoofington is a big city. Well, not as big as Canterlot or Manehattan, but a big city all the same. The chances of me bumping into somepony I know here are—” she started before she bumped into a strapping yellow earth pony stallion with a violet mane, knocking her off her hooves.

“Watch where you’re going you big, dumb—” she started saying while standing up, only to stop when she saw the stallion she had bumped into. “Seismic Thrum? Is that you?”

Seismic Thrum chuckled. “The one and only. Nice to see you haven’t changed.” Seismic Thrum looked at Fluttershy. “Who’s this lovely mare behind you?”

Fluttershy blushed and looked away. “I’m Fluttershy.”

Seismic Thrum nodded to Fluttershy. “Nice to meet you, Fluttershy.” Seismic Thrum then turned to Trixie. “So, what brings you around these parts? From what I understand, the Great and Powerful Trixie tapped out Hoofington a while ago.”

Trixie shook her head. “I’m not here to be Great and Powerful. I’m here on business.” Seismic Thrum raised an eyebrow. “I’m a pharmaceutical sales representative now.”

Seismic Thrum laughed. “Finally putting that Sales degree to good use, eh?”

Trixie nodded. “Never would have gotten it if you hadn’t helped me with my Calc homework.”

Seismic Thrum smiled. “Well, what was I going to do? Say no to a study session with the prettiest mare on campus?”

Trixie blushed. “Always the charmer. So, what did you do with your degree?”

“I’m a seismologist now,” Seismic Thrum said with a smile.

“Oh, really, now?”

“Around now I’m supposed to spout out a lame line about how I’m going to rock your world, but I assume a pretty mare like yourself is already taken,” Seismic Thrum said with a chuckle.

Trixie brushed her mane back with a hoof. “I wouldn’t mind some flirting.”

Seismic Thrum shook his head. “I’m actually gay.”

Trixie’s features dropped. “Oh.”

Seismic Thrum then looked at Trixie. “So...how’s your sister?” he asked, causing Trixie’s eyes to widen, “the artistic one?”

Trixie’s features became neutral. “Oh. She’s fine.”

“What kind of art does she do again?”

Trixie looked away. “Metalworking,” she said, “but we really must be going now.” She started dragging Fluttershy along with her, leaving Seismic Thrum to stare off in confusion.

“Goodbye, Trixie,” he said.

“Bye, Seismic Thrum, it was nice catching up.” When they were out of earshot, Trixie sighed. “That could have turned ugly.”

Fluttershy stared at Trixie in confusion. “How so?”

“Well, I don’t really know a lot about metalworking.”

“But your sister—”

Trixie looked down. “My sister is not an artist. Seismic Thrum must have been confused.”

Fluttershy stared at Trixie. “Then why did you tell him she was?”

Trixie looked away. “Because the truth is...my sister lives right here in Hoofington.”

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow. “What’s wrong with that?”

Trixie looked up, then at Fluttershy. “Well,” she said, scratching the back of her neck, “she lives at the Hoofington Brain Disease Center.”

“So?”

Trixie shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. “Don’t you get it?”

Fluttershy looked around, then at Trixie. “No? What am I supposed to get?”

Trixie looked down, tears streaming down her face. “She’s not artistic, she’s autistic.”

Brain Disease Center

“Autistic? What’s that?” Fluttershy asked.

Trixie let out a long sigh, then walked away as Fluttershy followed. “It’s a neurodevelopmental disorder.”

Fluttershy nodded. “How does it present itself?”

Trixie shook her head. “It’s different in everypony that has it. As for Nixie, my sister, she speaks just fine, although she’s very literal minded. She doesn’t quite get puns or euphemisms. She also likes flapping her hooves and rocking her body when she’s nervous. She’s also obsessed with stacking objects, hates change, and has a routine she has to follow every day to the letter. She also loves trains.”

“Trains?”

Trixie shuddered. “Don’t ask. Oh yeah, there’s one more thing;she has no friends and has a lot of trouble making them.”

Fluttershy looked down, pondering. “Hmmm…”

“Yes?”

“Oh, nothing. Just sounds like somepony I know.”

“Well, anyway, we’re here,” Trixie said as she came to a stop in front of a two story building. Fluttershy looked up at it. It appeared to be rectangular in nature with no defining features. “Ready to go in?” Fluttershy nodded, and the two of them trotted in.

Inside was a purple unicorn writing on something. She looked up and smiled. “Hello, I’m Wisteria Cover! Are you the two sales reps here to see Eggshell Shadow?” Trixie and Fluttershy nodded in unison. Wisteria Cover smiled at them. “Well, then, why don’t you take a seat. Eggshell will be right with you,” she said as she motioned to a couple of chairs along the wall. Fluttershy and Trixie took their seats.

They sat in silence for a while. Fluttershy then leaned over to Trixie and whispered, “She kind of looks like Twilight with a black mane, doesn’t she?”

“I suppose so,” Trixie whispered back between gritted teeth. Trixie tapped her hooves in frustration while Fluttershy examined a photograph of mountains hanging on the wall from her seat. Wisteria then looked up.

“Eggshell Shadow will be seeing you now,” she said. Both ponies turned their heads towards Wisteria.

“How could you possibly know that?” Trixie asked.

Wisteria smiled while closing her eyes. “I just have a feeling. Now why don’t you go and see him?”

Fluttershy nodded and stood up, trotting towards the door. Trixie got up as well, staring at Wisteria while heading towards the door herself.

They stepped in to see a smiling white pegasus with a black mane sitting behind a desk with two chairs in front of it. “Hello, ladies.”

“Hello, Eggshell Shadow,” the girls replied in unison as they took their seats. Angel Bunny, who was safely nestled in one of Fluttershy’s saddlebags, started growling.

“Angel, hush!” Fluttershy hissed, which seemed to calm the furry monster down. “Sorry about that, Mr. Shadow.”

Eggshell chuckled. “No, that’s quite alright. Animals and I just don’t seem to agree.” He then pulled out two papers and handed them over to Fluttershy and Trixie, who read them over. “You’ll be hitting the Hoofington Brain Disease Center next.”

“Um...Eggshell?” Trixie asked.

“Yes?” Eggshell Shadow replied.

“I can’t participate in this next assignment due to a conflict of interest.”

Eggshell raised an eyebrow. “Is this about your sister Bernice?”

Trixie nodded. “Yes, this is about Nixie,” she said, eyeing down Eggshell at the same time. “How do you know about Nixie?”

Eggshell nodded. “We have full dossiers on all of our employees.”

Trixie nodded. “So you see why I can’t participate.”

Eggshell grinned. “But I’m sure you’ll show Fluttershy the way there, won’t you?”

Trixie uneasily nodded. “I...suppose so. And I guess as long as I’m there, I could go visit my sister.”

Fluttershy smiled at Trixie. “That would be nice...when was the last time you visited?”

Trixie cringed. “Three months ago.”

Fluttershy’s eyes widened as she stood up. “Then we have to head over there!” she said, grabbing Trixie’s hoof and dragging her out.

“Hold on!” Trixie yelled as she was being dragged out.

Eggshell shook his head and chuckled. “Kids.”

Fluttershy and Trixie were standing outside of the Hoofington Brain Disease Center, eyeing it down for two completely unrelated reasons.

“You ready?” Fluttershy quavered.

“Ready if you are,” Trixie quavered back. With that, they both gulped and trotted inside. They were welcomed by a waiting room where a very familiar blue alicorn was reading the Hoofington Star. She looked up and smiled. Trixie immediately went into a deep bow while Fluttershy smiled and waved.

“Princess Luna!” Trixie said.

“Hi Princess Luna!” Fluttershy said.

“Hello, Fluttershy,” Luna said with a warm smile. She then dropped the smile as she faced Trixie. “You may rise, Beatrix.”

Trixie got up and gave the Princess the stink-eye. “That’s Trixie,” she said as she took a seat two seats away from Luna. Fluttershy trotted up to the desk.

“I’m here for the sales appointment,” she said to the receptionist. The receptionist, a blue pegasus mare with a teal mane, hoofed through the papers on her desk.

“Ah, yes...Transpicuous,” she said as she stood up, “if you’ll follow me, then.”

Fluttershy nodded and looked back at Trixie. Trixie waved and said, “Good luck, I know you can do it!” Fluttershy nodded uneasily, then followed the receptionist. Now it was just Trixie and the Princess of the Night. Trixie started sweating. Luna hoofed through the paper.

“Hmph,” Luna said, “apparently Transpicuous opened today at a hundred bits a share.”

“That’s nice,” Trixie said while fumbling with her saddlebags, “so how are you?”

Luna giggled. “I’m fine,” she said, “that was a rather impressive stunt you pulled four months ago.”

Trixie looked around. “What stunt?”

Luna chortled and flipped to another page. “The one where you stormed into my night court demanding a pardon,” she said, “and perfectly quoted exception ZHZ to law XJ6.”

Trixie giggled nervously. “Oh, right,” she said as she turned to look at Luna, “so, why are you here, anyway?”

Luna smiled as she put her paper down. “I’m here to admit a student into the Diarchy’s School for Gifted Unicorns.”

Trixie raised an eyebrow. “The Diarchy’s?”

Luna nodded. “I successfully campaigned to get the name changed,” she said as a snicker escaped from her mouth, “and by campaign, I mean bribe my sister with cake.”

Trixie tittered at that. “That sounds like corruption.”

Luna smiled. “Indeed.”

A green unicorn stallion with a blue mane trotted in. “Princess Luna?”

Luna looked up to the unicorn. “Yes?”

“Nixie’s ready,” he said. He then looked at Trixie. “Is she coming as well?”

Trixie opened up her mouth to reply before she was cut off by Luna. “Yes, she will.” Luna then stood up, along with Trixie. Trixie’s mouth was silently moving as her eyes were wide open in shock. The green unicorn led Luna and Trixie down a few corridors to a door marked 115. The unicorn nodded and trotted away.

Luna looked at Trixie. “May I?”

Trixie nodded.”By all means.” Luna nodded, opened the door with her magic, trotted in, then closed the door behind her. Trixie stood there, hearing muffled noises coming from the room. The noises soon turned into crying followed by shushing. The crying slowly turned into screeching, then the door was blown off of its hinges by Luna flying through it as she slammed into the wall, Trixie staring in shock. Out of the room trotted a gold unicorn filly with a two-tone copper and silver mane and glowing eyes, tears streaming down her face.

“NO! I’m not going! I like it here!” the filly screeched.

Luna stared at Trixie. “You want to handle this?”

Trixie facehooved. She hoped Fluttershy was faring better.

Changes

Fluttershy sat on her haunches outside of the conference room as she hugged and stroked Angel.

“Mommy’s gonna do great, Angelbunny. Right?” Angel nodded happily and gave her a thumbs up. Fluttershy grinned. “Thanks, Angel,” she said as she slipped him back into her saddlebag. She stood up, took a deep breath, opened the door, and trotted into the conference room.

She noticed four ponies, all mares, sitting at the conference table, which gave her the shivers. She quietly pulled out the chair opposite to them and sat down demurely, then gulped. She put on a weak smile.

“H-hello, I’m Fluttershy. What are your names?”

The pony to her far left, an orange pegasus with a blue mane, said, “I’m High Flyer, speech therapist.”

The pony next to her, a green earth pony with a purple mane, said, “Balance Beam, physical therapist.”

The pony to Balance Beam’s right, a blue pegasus with a pink mane, said, “Ordered Mind, cognitive therapist.”

The final pony, a gray unicorn with a yellow mane, said, “And I’m Galaxy Glow, the doctor on staff. I believe you’re here to discuss a new drug with us?”

Fluttershy uneasily nodded as she pulled out four pamphlets and slid them over the table to the four mares, who picked them up with interest. “I’m offering a new medication called Desoxyn…”

Trixie stared on in horror at the scene before her. Nixie stood there as tears streamed from her glowing eyes. Her breaths came out heavy. In front of her was Princess Luna, whom she had flung through a reinforced door like it was nothing. Trixie was at a loss on what to do, so she did what she did best: flim-flam her way out of it.

Trixie gulped, then said, “Nixie, why don’t you check on your toys—”

“MODELS!” Nixie screamed at Trixie.

Trixie shied back a bit. “Er, yes, models. Why don’t you check on your models? I’m sure that they were disturbed by the blast.”

Nixie snorted. “Nixie would never do such a thing!” she said as she turned her head back to her room. To her dismay, her models were strewn across the room. She gasped and ran back into her room. Trixie peeked in to see trains flying all about, Nixie’s crying growing stronger. “Why can’t I control it!?” she wailed.

Luna, upon hearing this, stood up and strode into the room. She then placed a hoof on Nixie’s shoulder. “Let me help you with that,” she said, “now how were these trains ordered?”

“By pony-power, obviously,” Nixie said with derision as the trains kept flying about. They then stopped in midair as Luna smiled. Luna then started ordering the trains on the dresser.

“No! The Appleloosa train goes first! It only has two pony-power!” Nixie commanded, upon which Luna hastily put the train closest to the edge.

“You’re a real chip off of the old block, aren’t you?”

Nixie snorted. “I’m a pony, not a chip.”

Luna smarted as that. “Er, right. What I meant to say is that you remind me of your sister.”

Nixie beamed at Luna. “Really?”

Luna chuckled. “Yes, really.”

Trixie couldn’t help but smile at the obvious hero worship. Maybe this won’t turn out so bad after all.

“...and that’s what Desoxyn does in a nutshell,” Fluttershy said, finishing out her presentation, “any questions?”

Balance Beam raised a hoof. “So you’re saying that this will improve physical capabilities as well as mental?”

Fluttershy nodded. “Yes, I am.”

Galaxy Glow raised a hoof. “Aren’t you worried about the addictive nature of the drug?”

Fluttershy gulped. “Well, I’m not aware of what you’re talking about, Dr. Glow. The rate of addiction in Equestria is one percent.”

Galaxy Glow shook her head. “Fluttershy, a good portion of our patients are here because of drug abuse. Are you suggesting that we give this drug to them?”

Fluttershy looked around uneasily. “Well, you administer the medications, so I don’t see the problem.”

High Flyer facehooved. “We’re worried about what happens when they’re discharged from here. Didn’t you hear about that poor pony Vinyl Scratch assaulted in Canterlot?”

Fluttershy froze. “I...may have heard about that.”

High Flyer shook her head. “Well, the papers said that she was strung out on your drug when she committed said act. Do you want to turn our center into a haven for sexual deviants?” The other mares nodded in agreement.

Fluttershy bit her lip. What would Trixie do?

Trixie stared on as Luna and Nixie finished sorting her trains on her dresser with a smile on her face. The glow had left Nixie’s eyes and Luna and Nixie were talking about their favorite trains.

“I really like the solid build of the Canterlot Express myself,” Luna said, grinning.

Nixie shook her head. “But you can’t deny the technological superiority of the Crystal Empire train!”

Luna shook her head, still grinning. “I suppose I can’t. So, let’s talk about your admission to the Diarchy’s School for Gifted Unicorns…”

Nixie turned her head away. “No! I’m not going!”

Luna frowned. “Why not?”

Nixie snorted. “Because I like it here!”

Luna rubbed Nixie’s head. “And why won’t you like it at our school?”

“Because it’s not here!” she said.

And?” Luna asked.

“I just...I just...I can’t explain it, but I know it’s going to be terrible!”

“Nixie,” Trixie said while trotting in, “why don’t you hear the Princess out? I’m sure you’ll love it once she tells you all about it.”

Nixie glared at Trixie. “No! I’ll hate it!”

Trixie frowned. What would Fluttershy do?

Fluttershy was backed into a corner. Here the staff was convinced that Desoxyn would turn their clients into sex monsters. If this didn’t go through, she wouldn’t get paid, or they might fire her, and the she wouldn’t…

Something in Fluttershy’s mind snapped. She stared down the four mares who instantly stopped talking as they locked eyes with her. Fluttershy slammed her hooves on the table.

“Listen here,” she said resolutely, “Desoxyn is a miracle in chemical form. It’ll improve the brain function of anypony that takes it. Are you telling me you’d give that up on the off-chance that somepony would misuse it?”

Ordered Mind stared nervously at her. “No, but—”

“But nothing!” Fluttershy barked, “Nopony needs to suffer because they’re different! Trust in us, and Transpicuous promises that your clients will be more than they are. We’re selling the future here! Are you with me?”

The four mares nodded nervously. Fluttershy grinned.

“So you’ll prescribe it?”

Galaxy Glow nodded. “I think we will.”

“Good,” Fluttershy said as she stood up, “then I think our business is done here.” With that, she trotted out of the conference room, leaving the poor mares quaking in their horseshoes.

“What makes you think you’ll hate it?” Trixie asked, sitting on her haunches and wrapping a foreleg around Nixie, who buried her face into Trixie’s barrel.

“Because it’s not here!” Nixie shouted.

“I think with your raw power, you could be my personal student,” Luna said.

Nixie turned her head to Luna. “Really?” Luna nodded. Nixie then turned her head away and buried it back into Trixie’s barrel. “No! I’ll still hate it!”

Trixie sighed, then pulled her hat and cape out of her saddlebags and put them on Nixie. Nixie lifted her head and look at the new clothes adorning her. “What’s this for?”

Trixie smiled. “I don’t think the Great and Powerful Nixie would turn away from a challenge, do you?”

Nixie looked into Trixie’s eyes. “Me? Great and Powerful?”

Luna nodded. “Anypony that could knock an alicorn through a reinforced door at your age is most certainly Great and Powerful.”

Nixie stared at Luna, then turned back to Trixie. “But can’t I be Great and Powerful without going to the school?”

Trixie shook her head. “No, Nixie. How do you think I became so Great and Powerful?” Luna rolled her eyes.

“How?” Nixie asked.

Trixie chuckled. “By going to the Diarchy’s School for Gifted Unicorns, of course!”

Nixie looked at Trixie, then Luna, then back at Trixie. “But I don’t wanna go alone!” she said, clutching Trixie’s barrel again.

“Arrangements have been made for a Quasar Pulse to accompany you at all times,” Luna said.

Trixie rubbed Nixie’s hat-laden head. “Isn’t that the unicorn stallion you like?”

Nixie blushed. “I don’t like him! He’s just...good company, is all.”

Trixie chuckled. “Of course.”

Nixie then looked into Trixie’s eyes. “Well, alright...but if I have to make a big change, you do, too!”

Trixie smiled at the familiar bargaining. “Name it, and I’ll do it.”

“You have to quit drinking.” Trixie’s eyes widened at that as she bit her lip. Sure, she’d do anything for her sister...but this was a bit much.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit much, Nixie?” Trixie asked.

Nixie shook her head. “You don’t quit drinking, I don’t go to school!”

Luna smiled “I may have a spell that could help with that,” she said as she charged up her horn and enveloped Trixie in a blue glow. Trixie’s stomach lurched as she threw up in her mouth and swallowed it back down. The vomit came up more forcefully as her cheeks bulged out.

Luna chuckled. “You may want to go to the bathroom.” Trixie nodded and galloped towards the bathroom as she ejected copious amounts of alcohol from her system. Luna approached Nixie and wrapped a foreleg around her as they sat there in silence, the splashing of water their only soundtrack.

“You know,” Luna said, “I could teach you that spell.”

Nixie looked up at the Princess in wonder. “You could? Oh, joy!”

Fluttershy was sitting happily in the waiting room reading the newspaper that Luna left behind. She saw Trixie limp in as she clutched her stomach.

“So, how are you, Trixie?”

Trixie smiled weakly. “Well, my sister’s going to the Diarchy’s School for Gifted Unicorns, and I’ve quit drinking.”

Fluttershy beamed. “That sounds great!”

Trixie nodded. “So, how did the pitch go?”

Fluttershy blushed. “Well, it was choppy waters at first, but I got them to see things our way.”

Trixie nodded as she plopped down in the seat next to Fluttershy. “Well, I think I’m overdue for some vacation time.”

Fluttershy looked at Trixie. “Where to?”

Trixie smiled. “I hear Ponyville’s nice this time of year...you have an extra bed?”

Fluttershy nodded. “Of course! Anything for a friend!”

Trixie grinned as she eased herself up. “Well,what are we waiting for? Let’s get going!” she said as she limped out the door. Fluttershy stood up and followed.

Epilogue

Luna trotted into the Canterot Archives, where Celestia sat with bloodshot eyes over a series of papers.

“I’ve accompanied our new student to her quarters and taken her on as my personal protégé,” Luna said.

“That’s nice,” Celestia said as she hoofed through the mountain of papers before her, “sit down and join me.”

Luna sat down and raised an eyebrow as Celestia levitated a giant stack of papers over to Luna. “What am I supposed to do with this?” Luna asked.

“We’re looking for information on a Red Umbra, the name Rarity mentioned.”

Luna nodded and started sifting through the papers.

Red Umbra sat at her desk writing out sales reports with quill in mouth. The door opened and a grey unicorn stallion with a black mane trotted in. Red Umbra looked up, then back down as the stallion closed the door behind him.

“Your appointment to the Royal Guard should be finalized within the week, Obsidian Shield.”

Obsidian Shield nodded. “I take it the Captain was agreeable?

Red Umbra chuckled around the quill in her mouth. “He didn’t really have a choice.”

Obsidian Shield grunted. “Is he on Desoxyn?”

Red Umbra smiled, still writing. “Oh yes, and his entire unit, too. When I mention we could put him on the priority list for new shipments, he was so willing it was almost pathetic.”

Obsidian Shield looked away. “This new drug...aren’t you concerned about the neurotoxicity?”

Red Umbra chortled. “Why worry? Let them spill out of the schools and markets, let the braindead pile up in the streets. In the end, they’ll beg us to save them.”

Obsidian Shield raised an eyebrow, then started pacing. “I’ve received reports of attacks on shipments. The addicted are starting to get desperate.”

Red Umbra put her pen down and set her hooves on the table. “Of course they’re desperate. They can smell their fear, and the sound they’ll make rattling their cage will serve as a warning to the rest.”

Obsidian Shield looked at the ground. “Mmm. I hope you’re not underestimating the problem. We still have the Princesses to worry about.”

Red Umbra guffawed. “A bunch of pretentious old mares playing at running the world. But the world left them behind long ago. We are the future.”

Celestia threw down the papers in frustration. “I’ve looked through everything. Apparently, Red Umbra is a normal red pegasus mare with a black mane. She’s got a birth certificate, an I.D. card, a flight license, a business license, hell, even a carriage operating license!”

Luna kept sifting through papers, not looking up. “What business does she run?”

Celestia shook her head, then rested it in her hoof. “Transpicuous Pharmaceuticals.”

“I read about them in the paper today. They’re doing very well for themselves for having started up only a few years ago.”

Celestia could feel the gears working in her head. “But what does a pharmaceutical magnate have to do with Sombra?”

Luna paused, holding up a paper. “I think I’ve found something.”

Obsidian Shield locked eyes with Red Umbra. “We have other problems.”

Red Umbra raised an eyebrow. “The Elements?”

Obsidian Shield nodded. “They have a habit of sticking their noses where they don’t belong. I have someone in place, though. I’m more worried about Cadance.”

Red Umbra barked out a laugh. “Our biochem is far in advance of the Crystal Empire’s! And their...ethical inflexibility has allowed us to make progress in areas they refuse to consider.”

“The magic drugs?”

Red Umbra nodded. “Among other things. But I must admit, I’ve been somewhat disappointed with the performance of the DXM.”

Obsidian Shield grunted in derision. “The new drug should be on the market soon. It’s currently being pressed and will hit shelves in six months.”

Celestia looked up. She could feel the bags under her eyes. “What is it?”

Luna held up the piece of paper. “A death certificate for a Red Umbra.”

Celestia snatched the death certificate with her magic and looked it over. Her vision was slightly blurry, but she could still make out the time and date. Celestia frowned. “This can’t be right,” she said as she pulled over the birth certificate and compared it with the death certificate.

“What is it, sister?”

“According to this, Red Umbra died three minutes after she was born.”

Luna’s eyes widened at that. “An imposter?”

Celestia furrowed her brow. “It appears so, but the chances of another red pegasus mare with a black mane are astronomically low,” she said. She then looked up. “You don’t think…”

Luna hushed her with a wave of her hoof. “Don’t go jumping to conclusions. We’ll simply have a sit-down with this Red Umbra and talk it out like adults.”

Celestia frowned as she put the pieces of paper down. “I suppose that would be the best course of action. Besides, Cadance has been inviting me to check out Crystal Empire Foods for a while now. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to see how Transpicuous operates.”

Luna smiled. “That’s better;now why don’t you get some rest and we’ll bring up the issue formally tomorrow?”

Celestia smiled as she stood up. “I suppose you’re right. Goodnight, Lulu.”

“Goodnight, Tia.” Luna said. With that, Celestia walked out of the archives. I wonder, though...could she be?

Red Umbra stood up, paced towards Obsidian Shield, and looked him straight in the eyes. “We've had to endure much, you and I, but soon there will be order again: A new age! Equinus spoke of the mythical city on the hill; soon that city will be a reality and we will be crowned its royals. Or better than royalty…” she said as her pupils and irises glowed a sickly green, “Gods!”

Interviews and Introductions

Fluttershy shifted uncomfortably in her seat, wearing a green blazer. The pony in front of her, an earth pony stallion with an orange coat and a black mane, was looking through her application.

“So...Fluttershy…” he said.

“Yes?” Fluttershy responded.

“It says here that you have a degree in Veterinary Science?”

Fluttershy nodded. “Yes, that’s true.”

The stallion flipped to another page. “In fact, it says here that you’re currently a licensed veterinarian as well as a pet sitter.”

Fluttershy nodded again. “That’s correct, Orange Penumbra.”

Orange Penumbra chuckled. “Just call me Orange, dear.”

Fluttershy blushed. “Yes, Orange. Sorry.”

“No need to apologize,” Orange said, hoofing through her application, “but you seem to have a wonderful job and life in Ponyville. Why would you want to be a Pharmaceutical Sales Representative?”

Fluttershy looked down. “Well, I’ve always wanted to travel...and the increased pay would be nice…”

Orange chuckled again. “Well, at least you’re honest about it...tell me, Fluttershy, what do you consider your greatest success?”

Fluttershy smiled. “Reforming Discord.” Orange looked taken aback by that, then collected himself.

“And what would you consider your greatest failure?”

Fluttershy blushed and looked down. “When I ruined the Grand Galloping Gala.”

Orange raised an eyebrow at Fluttershy. “I heard that that was a group effort.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “Oh no, Mr. Penumbra, I ruined it the most. I led the animals into the dining hall. That was when the real bedlam took place.”

Orange put down her application, then grinned. “Well, it’s nice to see a mare that owns up to her actions,” he then extended a hoof, “congratulations.”

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“You’ve got the job!”

Fluttershy looked at Orange incredulously, then grasped his hoof in both of hers, shaking it excitedly. “Oh, thank you, Mr. Penumbra, you have no idea how much this means to me!”

Orange chuckled. “No, Fluttershy, you have no idea how much this means to me. Welcome to the Transpicuous Pharmaceuticals team, Fluttershy. You should be meeting your partner tomorrow, when you’ll begin your first assignment.”

Fluttershy disengaged her hooves and sat back down. “To...tomorrow?”

“Why, yes! You’ll be teamed with our top sales rep, so there’s no need to worry. She’ll be bringing all of the drug information with her.”

Fluttershy nodded and stood up. “Thank you for this opportunity, Mr. Penumbra,” she said, walking out. Orange shook his head and smiled.

“She’s quite the looker, that one…”

Fluttershy was sitting on her couch, petting Angel lovingly.

“My partner should be here any minute now, Angelbunny! Aren’t you excited?” Angel yawned and stretched out, presenting his belly, which Fluttershy stroked. “I wonder what they’ll be like?” A knock was heard from the door, causing Fluttershy to sit up sharply. “Oh, that must be them! Come on, Angel, get down from mommy.” Angel hopped off of Fluttershy, letting her get up and answer the door with a smile. What she saw, however, surprised her. It was a blue unicorn with a silver and cyan striped mane wearing a black blazer, smiling insincerely.

“Hello! I’m Trixie, and I’m going to be your partner for to...day…” she trailed off as she slowly recognized the butter yellow pegasus in front of her. She then facehooved. “Oh, crap. You.”

Fluttershy blinked. “Me?”

Trixie glared at Fluttershy. “Yes, you. Butterfly, or something—”

“—it’s Fluttershy.” Trixie groaned.

“Of course. May I come in?” Fluttershy nodded, upon which Trixie strode in to the main area, threw her saddlebags on the table by the door, then flopped on the chair. She then massaged her temples.

“Is something the matter? Can I get you something to drink?” Fluttershy asked.

“Brandy if you have any...Celestia damn it…” Trixie replied. Fluttershy nodded and trotted into the kitchen, returning with a glass of brandy which she presented to Trixie. Trixie grasped the glass in her magic and took a sip. “Not bad.” Fluttershy nodded.

“Thank you.” Fluttershy said. She then sat down. “So, you have some information on the product we’re supposed to be selling?”

Trixie shook her head as she took another sip. “We don’t sell, Butterfly—”

“—Fluttershy—”

“—whatever. We don’t sell the product.”

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow. “Then what do we do? Isn’t sales right in the job description?”

Trixie chuckled, taking another sip. “Well, I suppose you could call it selling. We’re selling a promise.”

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow. “I don’t follow.”

Trixie sighed. “We’re selling the idea that our drug is the superior drug, and in fact, the superior choice to nondrug alternatives.”

Fluttershy nodded. “But what if it isn’t?”

Trixie smiled. “Oh, but it is. Haven’t you heard the company line?” Fluttershy shook her head. “Transpicuous Pharmaceuticals are the best pharmaceuticals,” Trixie then opened her saddlebags and pulled out a pamphlet, floating it over to Fluttershy, who grabbed it in her hooves, “anyway, I’ve never seen anything like this before. Check it out.”

Fluttershy looked over the pamphlet. It was for a drug named Desoxyn, and judging from the structure, appeared to be a stimulant. Strangely enough, though, it was being touted as an anorexiant, an anti-narcoleptic agent, and paradoxically as a way to calm foals down. “Trixie?” Fluttershy asked.

“Yes?” Trixie said, taking another sip of her drink.

“This doesn’t make any sense.”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Well, it says here that this can be used to prevent sleeping and to calm foals down at the same time. Don’t you find that a little strange?”

Trixie shook her head. “The way it was explained to me is that the reason kids are so hyperactive is that their brain isn’t producing enough activity, so this drug gives ‘em a jolt to the brain so that they’ll stop being annoying.”

Fluttershy glared at Trixie. “I don’t believe that’s how they explained it to you.”

Trixie shrugged. “Eh, close enough. You get the idea, though, right? Aren’t you some kind of doctor?”

“Veterinarian.”

Trixie stared at Fluttershy, sipping the last of her brandy and placing it on the end table next to her. “So why’d you quit that?”

“Oh no, I didn’t quit. I just took this job to make extra money.”

Trixie looked around. “You're appearing to be doing quite well for yourself. What do you need the extra money for?” Fluttershy blushed. “Say no more. It’s about a stallion, isn’t it?” Fluttershy opened her mouth. “No need to ask. When you spend your entire life on the road, you learn to read ponies like a book.” Trixie then stood up. “Well, get your blazer. We’ve got a job to do.”

Fluttershy stood up, trotted over to the chest of drawers, and took out her green blazer, slipping it on. “Now?”

Trixie stood up and shook her head. “Yes, now. We’re meeting with a Doctor Stable and a Miss Cheerilee.”

Fluttershy smiled. “I know those ponies. But why Miss Cheerilee?”

Trixie shook her head. “Apparently, Transpicuous wants educators to be in the loop on this drug.”

Fluttershy nodded and headed towards the door, opening it. “So where are we meeting them?”

Trixie trotted out the door, upon which Fluttershy shut it. “Town Hall. You know where that is, right?” Fluttershy nodded. “Well then, lead the way.” Fluttershy nodded, then started cantering towards the direction of Town Hall, Trixie following.