“Don’t eat those, Scootaloo! You’ll die!”
Scootaloo spat the crisps out of her mouth in the general direction of Sweetie Belle, getting most on the floor of their clubhouse. “Mpph mph!” she protested, before stuffing more in her mouth. Dimly she recalled the amazing fact that in some corners of Equestria, packets of crisps were called ‘chips’, and chips were called ‘fries’, and fries were called ‘potato spaghetti’. She thanked Celestia that she did not have to live in such a terrible place. She looked at the packet of crisps for the hilarious joke printed on the back in case she had learnt to read yet, but the words were still squiggles. Shrugging, she took another delicious hoofful.
“No, Scootaloo, no!” Sweetie Belle wailed out, eyes trembling in sheer unadulterated terror. “If you eat the green ones you die! That’s what Rarity said! Rarity said it, Scootaloo, don’t eat the green crisps!”
Scootaloo stared Sweetie Belle right in the eyes and slowly picked out the biggest, greenest crisp she could find and put it in her mouth, lazily chomping with her mouth open to prove she was eating it all up. “Don’t be stupid, Sweetie Belle,” she spluttered, spraying her friend with potatoey goodness. “That’s just a lie grown-ups tell you.”
“It’s not! It’s not!” Sweetie Belle started to shake Apple Bloom. “Tell her Apple Bloom, tell her! She’ll die!”
“Ah don’t care!” Apple Bloom sunk back in the corner of the hut, her red-rimmed eyes matching her hair. “Ah hope Scootaloo eats a big green crisp an’ dies!”
Scootaloo scrunched her nose up at Apple Bloom. “Oh, come on!” she rolled her eyes. “You’re not still cut up about that little prank are you? On April Fools Day, if you want to win, you’ve gotta play hardball!”
“Tellin’ me mah parents magically came back to life was not a ‘little prank’!” Apple Bloom glowered darkly. “That ain’t how it works!”
“Yeah it is!” Scootaloo leant back. She found a very green crisp in the bottom of the packet and rolled it about her tongue before swallowing. “You just need to lighten up!”
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom exchanged glances. Scootaloo ignored them, and stretched her hooves out, letting the warm sunlight play over them. She stifled a yawn. Life was good.
***
Scootaloo’s eyes flashed open. Darkness filled her eyes. She was blind!
“No!” she screamed, before tearing the crisp packet off her face and looking at it sheepishly. “Oh! Phew!” The sun had moved around to the other side of the clubhouse – she had slept all through lunch, and half the afternoon. Worse than that, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were gone.
“Guys? Hey, guys! You let me sleep too long!” Scootaloo scowled and leapt to her hooves, craning her neck out of the window. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle sat outside on the grass, rolling a ball back and forth, and very obviously not making eye contact with Scootaloo, or responding to her in any way, shape or form.
“Hey, okay, fine!” she shouted down. “I’m sorry you can’t take a joke, Apple Bloom. Friends?”
Apple Bloom continued to play with Sweetie Belle.
“Whatever!” Scootaloo grumbled, making her way unsteadily down the rickety ladder to the grass below. She stared at the ball as Apple Bloom rolled it to Sweetie Belle, and then back. “Hey, give me a go!”
Sweetie Belle’s head jerked up, and for a moment Scootaloo thought she was about to reply, but instead she just smiled at Apple Bloom. “I know, let’s go get ice-cream.”
“Yeah!” said Apple Bloom.
“Yeah!” said Scootaloo happily, starting to tag along behind her friends. “I’m glad you forgave me, even though I didn’t do anything wrong! Friends again?”
They ignored her.
***
“Oh, hi girls!” Pinkie Pie smiled out from behind the counter at Sugarcube Corner. “Ice creams, right?”
“Yup!” The three nodded in unison.
Pinkie ducked down behind the counter, and activated the brand new ice cream machine. Her acquisition of it had caused some tensions with Lickity Split, who thought Pinkie was trying to drive her out of business and ‘destroy her cutie mark destiny’ but Pinkie had solved this problem by ignoring it. “There we go girls!” she grinned. “One for you, and one for you!” She passed the ice creams to Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.
Scootaloo sat expectantly, tail wagging from side to side.
“Thanks, Pinkie!” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle turned to leave, greedily lapping up their delicious ice creams.
Scootaloo looked between them and then back to Pinkie Pie, panic starting to well up inside her. “Hey, Pinkie? Where’s mine?” As Pinkie Pie continued to whistle and clean the counter, Scootaloo leaned over, waiving her hoof in Pinkie’s face. “Hey, Pinkie Pie! What’s up! C’mon, it’s me, Scootaloo! Where’s my ice cream!”
Pinkie Pie continued working, unblinking.
“Pfft!” Scootaloo sunk back down and dashed after her friends. “Haha, that Pinkie Pie, right?” she gave a forced grin, trying her best to make light of the situation and putting down the horrible feeling of rejection she felt welling in her stomach. “Where next?”
“Oh, I know, let’s go to the petting zoo, Sweetie Belle,” Apple Bloom changed direction suddenly.
Scootaloo had to run to keep up. “And Scootaloo,” she added desperately. “Let’s go to the petting zoo, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo!” She shook her head at the rudeness of her friends.
***
The petting zoo was not particularly much fun. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle bought bags of seeds to feed the birds, but however hard she tried, Scootaloo could not seem to get the attention of Mr Sweeps the zoo keeper to buy some for herself.
The same was true when they went to the funfair, where Busky Bill seemed to think only Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle wanted to go on the dodgems. And the library, where Spike wouldn’t even speak to Scootaloo when she asked if he would get the ‘good books’ down from the high shelves where fillies couldn’t reach.
It was while Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle sat on the park bench, happily eating their salads which they had been able to purchase, that a hungry Scootaloo finally snapped.
“Fine!” she half-screamed at them, leaping up and down and waving her hooves in their faces to make a point. “Fine, I get it! You somehow turned all of Ponyville against me! I see how it is!” She twirled around and pushed her face at the nearest pony she could see. “Hey Carrot Top, it’s me, Scootaloo!”
Carrot Top ignored Scootaloo, carrying merrily on her way.
Scootaloo twitched. “Hey, hey Derpy! Derpy, speak to me Derpy!”
But Derpy continued to trot along on her daily mail round.
“How?” Scootaloo pointed a hoof accusingly at Apple Bloom. “How did you do it? I said I’m sorry for you being unable to take a joke! I made up for it, now cut it out!”
Apple Bloom gave a deep sigh, and turned to Sweetie Belle. “Ah suppose we’d better go there.”
Sweetie Belle’s face sunk, and she put down her half-eaten salad. “Yeah.”
“Yeah!” Scootaloo’s face brightened. “Let’s go there! Like friends! Woo!” She paused. “Where’s there?”
***
The Ponyville graveyard was empty, save for three small ponies who sat around a lonely gravestone. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle looked at it sadly, tears glistening in their eyes, whilst Scootaloo just looked on in confusion.
“What? What? Whose is this?” Scootaloo peered at the writing on the stone, but the gift of reading had not yet sprung into her head. “Is this your parent’s grave, Apple Bloom? It’s not got a picture of an apple on it, so it can’t be! We don’t know anyone else who’s dead, do we?”
Apple Bloom choked back a tear. “Ah think she’d like this left here. It was her favourite leaf.” She pulled a cracked, dried leaf from her satchel and carefully lay it down before the stone.
“Hey, that’s my leaf!” Scootaloo snapped, outraged. “Don’t give somepony else my leaf!”
“An… and I think she’d want this here too, I guess…” Sweetie Belle pulled out an autographed picture of Rainbow Dash, and tenderly placed it next to the leaf.
“What?!” Scootaloo was incandescent. “Did you go through my stuff in the clubhouse while I was sleeping? Don’t give my picture to dead ponies! It’s mine!”
Sweetie Belle sighed heavily. “If only she listened to what I said. If only! Then she wouldn’t have eaten those green crisps and died!”
Scootaloo’s face paled. “B-but I ate green crisps too! I didn’t know that could actually kill you! I’ll never eat them again; I don’t want to end up like this poor pony, whoever it was!”
Apple Bloom bowed to the grave. “Ah will never forget you, mah good friend Scootaloo, who died an’ is dead in this grave right here.”
“But… my name’s Scootaloo!” For an instant, Scootaloo was outraged that someone would steal her name. Then realisation dawned, and her orange coat turned white with shock, mouth hanging open as she saw her friends cry and hug each other, and slowly walk off towards town.
Scootaloo sat at the graveside by herself, staring down at her final resting place as she processed what had happened. “I… I’m dead?” She whispered to herself. She looked at her hooves in puzzlement. “I… I’m a ghost?” She gulped, sinking to her haunches in despair. “Oh Celestia, I had so much to do! I wasted my life, I… I… ” Her face brightened for an instant. “Wait! I’m a ghost! Ghosts can fly!”
Scootaloo leapt into the air, and came back down onto her face with a heavy crunch. “Aw,” she whined. “I’m the worst at being a ghost.” She gave a quick look at her flank. “And not even a ‘being dead’ cutie mark!”
She flopped onto the ground, defeated. She was dead. She was a ghost. There was only one thing she could possibly do.
***
“Hey girls.”
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle looked up guiltily as Cheerilee approached their bench. “Uh, hi Miss Cheerilee,” Apple Bloom smiled, with a quick wave. “Nice day, isn’t it!”
“Yes…” Cheerilee narrowed her eyes at the two. “Pinkie Pie has been telling me that you told everyone that Scootaloo was doing some school art project about being a ninja, and that everyone should ignore her or she’ll fail. You… you do know that I didn’t give out any such homework, right?”
Sweetie Belle gave a squeak of alarm and turned bright red. Apple Bloom just gave a nervous laugh and rubbed the back of her head. “Uh, well Miss Cheerilee, it’s like this. We thought we’d teach Scootaloo a lesson, an’ play a joke on her. It’s no big deal, when she comes back, we’ll just shout ‘April Fools’ an’ have a laugh.”
“But…” Cheerilee was taken aback by this. “It’s not April Fools. That was days ago.”
“Yeah, well.” Apple Bloom smiled. “Ah play hardball.” She shrugged. “Anyway, Scoots should come skulking back when she works it out, any minute now. Ah wonder where she’s got to.”
***
Rainbow Dash kept awkward eye contact with the small orange pony who had been staring at her for the past half-hour. She slowly climbed off the toilet and flushed it.
“Kid. Get the hell out of my house.”
