Twilight Sparkle tossed back and forth in her bed.

As the rooster crowed and morning sunlight poured into the room through the window, the librarian awakened feeling restless. She settled for laying on the bed with her eyes open for a moment to gather her thoughts.

After basking in the warm sunlight for a bit, Twilight sat up and raised her tense forelegs toward the ceiling and stretched out her back muscles as she disregarded the vivid (and disturbing) images her mind had produced over the course of the night.

“Wow...what a rough night's sleep, Spike.” She sighed at what she rationalized as simply her imagination's wild night time conjurations. Probably stemming from her one and only dragon assistant's strange behavior on his birthday the other day. “I had the weirdest drea-” Twilight began to say with a laugh, sliding over to the foot of the bed until she saw the snoring pile of stuff where Spike's bed was supposed to be.

“I can't believe you!” She exclaimed irritably at the sight. With her horn aglow Twilight leaped down to the floor and immediately began pulling the pile apart with her magic so she could better accost Spike with her scolding. “Where'd you get all this...?” The unicorn let out a gasp at the sight of a drastically different Spike before her...

Author's Note

I already know what you're going to say and I can't wait to read everyone's complaints and statements of confusion.

So what really happened? What is the real ending? What was the point to writing any of this? I think this song should suffice as my answer.

...you know, I'm pretty sure there are people who won't understand any of those jokes. No, I guarantee it...anyways, thanks for reading this from beginning to end and understanding that a story tagged as Mature and Dark will involve disturbing content. I guess I wanted to prove that a story doesn't have to be pointlessly gory or violent to be (grim)dark or what have you. If you left a comment, whether positive or negative or a thumbs up you can expect your Pinkie Pie hat (now with sound!) or Rarity dildo (it talks when you flip the switch!) in the mail very soon. Just pay shipping and handling.

Just watch the scene that the epilogue takes place in, and notice how after the commercial break Spike and Twilight's conversation seems a lot more different now that you've read this.

...did you watch it? You did? And you're still not impressed? I didn't think so, either...

I would especially like to thank those of you who stuck around for this long if you're one of the few people who read since I first posted this. You guys ~~and gals~~ will get both items.

Now get the fuck off my lawn, already.