Ode to Best Pony
By: Smexy Sombra
As I watched and I gazed,
seeing the words before me,
reading unfazed,
I simply failed to see.
Why they jest and test
each other with such frightful zest.
How a question as simple as
“Who is best pony?”
Rip them apart and call each other phony.
Now I do not judge, truly I don’t.
But when I am asked, I say
“I surely won’t!
I will not submit to your treacherous way!”
To give my opinion,
only to have it peeled like an onion.
But now you have me thinking,
which may force me into drinking,
about which pony I fancy
and to toss my thoughts into the ante.
In my mind,
I find my thoughts to be quite intertwined,
With those I adore
and those I abhor.
Give me a moment to think,
before I go tossing them all into the sink.
Now Twilight is nice,
This I have heard in thrice,
from her thoughts to her plot,
Which is something everyone can like, is it not?
But I do not enjoy her like some,
even more now seeing what she has become.
What about Rainbow Dash?
Truly a strong mare with quite a flash!
Yes this is true,
some feelings she does cause to brew,
But not as enjoyable as the one I like.
But with her attitude is does cause her to strike
right to my immediate dislike.
To ask of Luna would be a death sentence,
her generic following will cause a penance.
She is quite nice though,
her olden ways and how she throws her words to and fro.
But not my cup of tea.
She is simply too mainstream, you see.
What about Lyra?
The obsessive plethora,
of hands and humans?
Surely you joke,
if I believe the words you say ring true,
and I have no reason to not too,
then that mare has cracked her yoke!
Then there is Pinkie Pie,
The one who is always wry.
Carries a smile, to make every day worthwhile!
The simple rock farming baker,
whose sister is almost weirder,
that lives for a laugh.
She, I quite like, truly I do.
Her wacky notions,
always wanting to make sure everything meets its due,
she singing of delicious potions.
But once more,
and I hope you are not sore,
she is not whom I adore.
Celestia, the mother of all,
the princess of the sun,
and the ruler of Equestria.
She has been taken and turned into a pun,
from Molestia to Derplestia.
She no longer can enthrall.
Now if you have more ponies to ponder,
I will stay a little longer.
Thought I must ask,
why are you committed to this task?
To find my favorite pony,
I must admit seems like a folly.
All their names you only sully,
saying who you think is the most lovely.
For hours you rant,
to the point where you pant,
until you get my answer,
you are only going to continue this banter.
Now you speak of Cadence and Shining Armor?
What is to love more than a Princess of Emotion
and a husband of undying devotion?
Well a happy couple they may be,
but they are as cliche as green on a tree.
Speaking of Trees,
how about Fluttershy?
The bashful, introverted
sheepish, timid,
mousy, and nervous,
sweet as Apple Pie,
Little Fluttershy?
Yes she is adorable,
yes she is cute.
But one little spook and she’s a mute.
Finally, there is Rarity.
A girl of beauty and grace!
Surely, she is one to chase.
She is quite lovely,
from her eyes to her mane.
However her whines she she is muddy
send my mind into immense pain.
Those are the ponies that most enjoy.
Too bad none of them bring me joy.
Onto to the villains and the evildoers?
I am quite fond of each of their powers.
No reason not to try.
Let’s see if we can find one that catches my eye.
What about Queen Chrysalis?
Now that one is that none can miss.
A woman who knows what she wants,
who cares for her own needs.
One who is strong willed
breaking down men of the strongest build.
I am sad to say,
though she is stunning
and truly quite cunning,
her wicked way keeps me at bay.
Discord, now there’s a sight.
A being of a genetic puzzle,
who’s simple appearance instigates fright.
His leg of dragon and that goat muzzle,
I bet he is a laugh
and tell many jokes on another’s behalf.
Once more he does cause a bore,
his material getting old and causing me to snore.
Nightmare Moon?
Now she is a character that causes many to swoon.
The bad girl of an otherwise loving character,
enough to make another other fall in love with her.
Though she does entice my fancy,
she is just a tad too flashy.
I mean lightning? Thunder clouds?
Purple mist and illusion spells?
She has the might of the stars!
Yet she did not get very far.
King Sombra, now there’s a good one.
A unicorn so powerful,
and a laugh so boastful,
that it took not one but two,
of the princesses to take him on.
Let’s not forget the Elements too.
I mean, really come on.
He had so little time,
so little of the hour,
to flourish into anything sublime
and show his power.
Now who is left?
Now who else is there?
Do not tell me we have done all in here.
None come to mind?
Now that is a bit of a scare
and puts us in a bind.
Now if you truly want to know,
Who has taken my interest so.
It would be a single pony of quite the stature.
Who’s advice always sage, always loving of nature.
The one who aids those in need,
one who never thinks of greed.
The one whose coat is easy on the eyes,
her voice as elegant as any sun rise.
You see my dear brony.
That my favorite Zebra,
Zecora
Is Best Pony
Author's Note
*Sigh* I am going to catch SO much flak for this.
........
WORTH IT.
