My little Derpy: a My Little Dashie spinoff

by EmeraldPony

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy
Length: 2858

Derrick was lonely, just a normal 15-year-old with no friends and no life. But all of that changed when he looked in that little green box. Based on the heartwarming story My Little Dashie, this is about a teenage brony finding a filly Derpy Hooves.

This is my fanfiction about a fifteen year old brony who finds and rescues a five-year-old Derpy Hooves. Taking place on earth, then in Equestria, this story has some jokes, some short scenes of randomness, and cuts to the chase half the time.
side note: I got this pre-typed and messed up Derpy's original name by calling her Dinky and not Ditzy. oops!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-06 17:10:02 UTC

the question

Now, I’m not as protective of Dinky finding about her history as Brian was with Rainbow Dash, but I am worried, because, if she finds out, she might want to go back to Equestria and see her friends. And I don’t think Celestia wants to deal with another human after the trouble Brian caused.

I know it would make her happy, but… I can’t do it. I have been taking care of Dinky for a year now, and we’ve celebrated her birthday, which also happened to be the day I got my driver’s license. I guess Dinky has brought me luck these past twelve months.

It’s early, but I think Dinky deserves to know where she’s from. I turned on Netflix on my iPad and let her watch the only episode of the show when she spoke and was called by name. I went downstairs and got a glass of water for Dinky, and when I came back up to my room, my heart EXPLODED with joy. Dinky wasn’t sad at ALL, she was enjoying the show, laughing, smiling.

“Thank you, daddy,” she laughed once more, possibly at Pinkie Pie’s antics. “I love you.”

My heart exploded. Not only did she call me “daddy” for the first time, she said she loved me. I hugged her.

“You’re welcome, Dinky,” a tear of happiness streaked down my face. “I love you, too.”

We sat on my bed and watched the show. Being a brony, I was able to answer all her questions about the show. Why Twilight had a horn AND wings, why Luna looked sad at random times, even who the cross-eyed mare in the background was.

But there was one question that could not answer.

“Can I go there?” Dinky looked me in the eyes, pleading.

“I don’t know. I’ll have to ask Rainbow Dash if she can ask Princess Celestia if I can stay.”

Dinky’s ears went down. “So… is that a no?”

I hugged Dinky. “Of course, not Dinky, it’s a maybe, and hopefully a yes.”

Dinky perked up. “Thank you, Daddy.”

Lesson zero all over again!

I walked to golden oaks library to borrow a Daring Do book from Twilight.

I barely got to knock on the door when I was pulled inside.

“Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!”

I was knocked out cold, and when I woke up, I was tied to a chair, a rag covering my mouth.

I saw the weirdest thing then. It was Twilight. She had me pinned down,  using her magic to hold a quill and paper in the air.

And her face… her face… it was twisted into a wicked smile, her mane unkempt and bags under her eyes.

She put her face close to mine. “Tell me, Autora,” she then forced the quill into my mouth and the paper into my hoof, “What did we learn about friendship?”

She must have missed a lesson again.

But how did she know my new name? It’s not rational.

“Please,” I said through the quill clenched in my teeth, “I only just got to Ponyville, what do I know?”

She looked at me sideways. “What do you mean?” she continued to stare at me. “You’ve been here for ages.”

There was a knock at the door.

“Twilight?” I knew that voice, it was Dinky!

I spit out the quill. “HELP!”

Dinky heard me and smashed into the door, knocking it off it’s hinges. “Dad?”

That’s Derpy, act first, think later.

The saw me and flew into twilight, knocking her off of me

“Thank you,” I said, then flew out the door, Dinky by my side.

The Dance Party Team?

Glad to escape Twilight Sparkle, I walked down the street to visit Pinkie Pie. As I turned towards Sugar Cube Corner, when a dull yellow Pegasus with a green and yellow mane flew in front of me. A smile was etched in his face, but he was frowning.

Glaze.

I turned around, trying to avoid the popular Pegasus, when I saw a pony that looked exactly like me, only his cutie mark was a tombstone with headphones and signing rock and roll with stony hands.

The Living Tombstone.

At this point I was hyperventilating. All this scene needed was Abluskittle and I would pass out.

I slowly backed away. Just then, I was grasped with red unicorn magic, and froze in place. This gathering needed no explanation at all.

The Dance Party Team.

“Well, well, well,” said a grey unicorn with a red mane, “look what we have here.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but I choked.

Glaze grinned, and said in his usual auto-tone voice, “Looks like we found your twin, Tombstone.”

“Please,” I said, “let me go, Mic”

Mic The Microphone gripped me harder with his magic. “Nope.”

Tombstone pushed Mic aside, disabling his grip on me. “Just loosen your grip!”

Mic lit his horn again and gripped me even firmer than before. He didn’t listen. I couldn’t breathe. Glaze walked up to me and held up a rag of chloroform.

“NO!” Glaze held it up to my mouth. I could smell the chemicals. “No, Woodentoaster, NOOO--” Everything went black.

I woke up underground, the three assassin ponies surrounding me. I groaned and noticed that Mic’s image flashes into Dinky’s for a moment before switching back. He wasn’t the real Mic The Microphone.

He was a changeling. They all were.

I jumped off the table, out of the changelings’ grip. They revealed their true form, and chased after me. I kicked one in the face and took off, flapping my wings like CRAZY, and managed to bust through the ground and loose sight of the changelings.

Cheshire Smile?

The smile…

MY smile…

My TWISTED smile…

CHESHIRE SMILE…

I was walking down a long flight of stairs, nothing but a flashlight with me.

I had lost connection of command central twelve flights before, and my flashlight was gripped tightly in my mouth. I saw two white circles, but thought nothing of it. I couldn’t let my fear take over.

NO RETURN…

“Crap,” I said out loud.

Just then, a smile appeared out of nowhere.

I woke up in cold sweat.

The cloud I was resting on shot a bolt of lightning out of the side, waking me up.

Another lightning bolt passed my head.

“Lightning Dust!”

“What, Derpy?”

I scowled. “Don’t… call… me… Derpy…”

“Oh,  sorry, Dinky,” she said sarcastically.

“I beat you before, I can beat you again.”

Lightning dust chuckled. “That was by default, my wing broke.”

“Then let’s race again.”

Celestia as a unicorn?

I went to Twilight’s library to finally get that Daring Do book for Dad so he can give it to Dash as a birthday present. In fear that Spike hadn’t fixed Twilight’s psyche, I knocked on the door. Twilight’s mane was clean and brushed, her face was no longer looking restless and tired, and this relaxed me.

“Hello, Miss Doo,” she said. “What brings you here?”

“I need to get a book for my… erm…” I tried o find a word to describe Derrick. He was only ten years older than me, so he wasn’t my Dad, “…uh… friend. Yeah, friend.”

“O…K…” Twilight said. “Which one?”

“The new Daring Do book.”

“I’m saving that book for Rainbow Dash,” Twilight frowned.

“Well, that’s why my friend wants it. Dash and Soaren split up,” I frowned out of sadness. “Autora wants to cheer her up.”

“Oh,” said Twilight, “I understand.” She levitated the book to me.

“Thank you.”

“Oh, tell Autora I’m sorry for molesting him.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Long story.”

I slept soundly that night, I don’t know why, I can’t remember anything past the library. But the dream… it saved my psyche from the smile dream I had two nights before.

I dreamed of Celestia in her castle. But it wasn’t  the Celestia I knew. She was younger, looking up to who I assumed was her mother. She had a horn, but no wings.

Her mother used her magic to pick up Celestia and set her in her lap. They snuggled for a few seconds before her mother said:

“Happy birthday, Celestia.”

She pulled out a small package and gave it to her daughter.

Celestia opened it up and out flew a glorious red-and-gold phoenix. The phoenix flew in a circle a few times, sending a trail of harmless fire behind her, before landing beside Celestia.

The phoenix stared right at me. Into my soul.

“Wake up, Dinky,” it said in a deep voice, “I know your true soul.”

the end… for now.

Well, nothing remarkable happens after this.

It just gets old, writing songs with THE brony, singing alongside Glaze, Mic the Microphone bringing in doughnuts on Sundays, et cetera, et cetera.

So, this journal’s old, I recorded some good memories in here, and so did Derpy. She’s become less self conscious about being called that, but she still dislikes it. And that’s fine. So is everything else in my life.

For the first time, this is Autora saying bye.

Derpy Hooves in a box?

My name is Derrick. I’m 15 years old, a bit short for my age, but I manage. I’m an average kid with an average life. I have a talent for art and creativity, but not as much that you can call me a prodigy.

You think the description is weird, wait for my last name.

It’s Doo.

That’s right.

Derrick Doo.

No I didn’t find a filly Daring Do on the side of the road. I found someoneno, somePONY even more special to me. The bluish-grey mare with a dull yellow mane and eyes set askew.

Derpy Hooves. Also known as Dinky Doo.

My little Dinky.

I was walking to the mini mart a few blocks away. It felt like five MILES. It took me so long to get there, that even the Twinkies and Butterscotch wasn’t worth it. I swear, though, that something caught my eye. A deep green box. I thaught nothing of it, thinking it was a box of party favors or something.

But something was leading me towards it. I couldn’t help it. I opened the box and immediately flinched at the huge contrast in colors. The bright colors of the box were stinging my eyes when I saw the dull blob of color that filled half the box. Inside was a shaking, filly Dinky Doo. Her eyes were not crossed yet, so I almost didn’t recognize her. The weirdest thing, though was she was no olderor cuterthan Sweetie Belle on her fifth birthday, yet, she already had her cutie mark, something not achieved usually until the age of nine or ten.

I took off my hoodie and wrapped her in it. When I got home, I had to lie to my parents about Derpy, and made up something about the mini mart running out of bags. I DID have 20 dollars on me when I went there, so maybe if I bet and give the twenty dollars back to whoever gave them to me…

To Equestria!

It’s been two years since Dinky asked to go to Equestria, and Celestia said yes, we can go to Equestria! Dinky’s home!

Her… home…

Home…

I would miss earth, and even though Dinky’s only been gone a few days, Equestrian time, she was SO exited. The eight-year-old Pegasus kept doing back-flips and barrel rolls in the air.

“Calm down, Derpy,” I said, using nickname because she was acting, well… derpy. “We don’t need any unwanted attention. Dinky derped yet again and stopped, but not soon enough. She slammed face-first into a lamp post.

“Dinky are you okay?”

She gave me the hooves-up, signaling that she was fine.

She stood up, her eyes once again askew.

I shook my head as we walked through the portal. An extreme feeling of nausea came over me.

After a few seconds, we were in a castle, Celestia standing over me and Dinky. I stood up and bowed. So did Dinky.

“Hello, Miss Doo,” Celestia said to Dinky.

She turned to me. “And you are?”

“Derrick Doo,” I said. “I’ve been taking care of Dinky here for 3 earth years.”

Dinky spoke up, “Umm… Dad, would you”

“Yes,” I tuned to Celestia. “Can you turn me into a pony, your majesty?”

“Yes, in fact, I can,” Celestia touched my forehead with her horn, and turned me into a grey Pegasus with a short blue mane with streaks of red at the tips, and my cutie mark was a piece of paper and a quill.

“Thank you, Princess.”

The Rescue.

I woke up, sweating, in my bed. No, not MY bed, Rainbow Dash’s bed. Dinky was staring over me, crying.

I hugged her. The little filly hugged me back, and whispered “I love you” in my ear.

“I love you, too.”

I stared at my arm. It was burnt and cut. I tried to move my right hoof but it was stuck in a sling.

“Where’s Rainbow Dash?” I asked once Dinky let go of me.

“Making us breakfast,” Dinky replied.

“Well, sor-ry if I’m worried about the new guy.”

“Well I haven’t seen you in 10 years! You could at least say you missed me, Dash!” I knew that voice. Soaren and Rainbow Dash walked trough the door, still arguing.

“We’re THROUGH!” Soaren screamed and stormed out through the window, his wonder bolts suit torn and his glasses cracked.

“I WON’T MISS YOU!” Dash screamed at him. She spotted me. “So sorry about that,” she said.

I raised an eyebrow.

Rainbow Dash sighed. “Soaren and I are having… erm… problems with our relationship.”

My eyebrow disappeared into my mane.

“I’d rather not talk about it.”

I got up asked Dash a stupid question.

“Wanna race?”

Rainbow cracked up.

“You… HA! Race me… HAHA!”

I spread my wings.

“What’s the catch?” she asked.

“Looser is the winner’s slave for the day.”

“YES!” Dash said. “You’re on!”

On the track, I dodged the grey clouds. I caught up to Dash and laughed.

Bad idea.

My wing caught the wind and my wing was blown too far back.

CRRAACK!

My wing bone snapped and I saw blood. I plummeted to the ground. My life flashed before my eyes. It wasn’t much; I was only 19, but the memories got halfway through, then it all went black.

The last thing I saw was the rainbow shooting from the sky, and a cyan pony flying in front of me.

the race

As I settled on the track that Lightning Dust and I would race on, I got a bit nervous. She was right, I HAD only won by default last time because Dust broke her wing.

But I was confident that I could win legitimately. Yellow and blue Pegasus her wings fast as she could. So did I.

“Readysetgo!” she took off the second she finished, but I took off right as she began. I flew in between the clouds and knocked them in front of Lightning Dust. Sure, I was cheating, but on the track, as long as you’re not racing Dash, anything goes. I saw the finish line, I was there.

Three hoofs.

Two hoofs.

One hoof.

Three inches…

ZIIIP!

A lightning bolt passed me and the line broke.

I landed on the cloud, panting. I had…

Lost.

I guess I wasn’t meant to race.

Maybe I was meant to go to the Factory.

“Well…” Lightning Dust hung her head, “you win.”

“What?” I said. “You passed the line first!”

Dust shook her head. “Nope, you won.”

I stood up. “Well, good race.”

Dust flew off. “See ya, Derp!”

“See ya, Dust!”

the offer.

I walked around Canterlot, taking a well-deserved vacation from the nightmares and the assassinations.

I hummed to the tune of The Living Tombstones “September”, and started to sing the lyrics. I was on an abandoned and neglected street, anyway, so no one heard my singing.

Well, I thought I was alone, when I heard another voice singing “Love me, Cheerilee.”

“Hey, Cheerilee, Cheerilee,

“Hey, Cheerilee, Cheerilee,

“I think I’m in love with you,”

“Tombstone?” I said, looking around.

“Ya caught me,” Tombstone walked out of a shadow.

I observed him closely to make sure he wasn’t a changeling.

“Which two of your songs did Eurobeat brony remix?” I asked. Only tombstone would know that.

“September and Discord.”

I relaxed, but didn’t let my guard down.

“Any… way…” he said awkwardly, “I heard you singing, and… would you like to join the Dance Party Team?”

I had my Rainbow Dash moment, “Omygosh, omygosh, omygosh, omygosh, omygosh!”

Tombstone chuckled. “Is that a yes?”

I nodded my head quickly.

Tombstone smiled. “Great! Our next meeting is on Friday. See ya there!”

He left.

************************************************************************

I told Dinky about the offer, and the put on a grin that spread ear to ear.

“Awesome!” she said, but quickly realized, “You need to look sharp! I’m gonna go to Carousel--”

“Have you SEEN Woodentoaster?” I asked. “His mane is constantly a mess and the only actual clothes he wears is a torn leather jacket.”