Fallout: Equestria: Not My Story

Chapters

Chapter 0: Prologue
Chapter 1: Standing in the Rain
Chapter 2: Discrepancy in the Past
Chapter 3: The Voice in the Spritebot

Chapter 0: Prologue

Imagine, if you will, a city about half the size of Fillydelphia. No, not the place that Red Eye calls home. The Pre-War Fillydelphia. This is the city of Pittspur. It sits on the intersection of three rivers, its concrete spires piercing the sky like needles into cotton, the constant skycarriage traffic its thread. In its streets, ponies conduct business of all sorts: in the Flit District, foods from all over the world are bought and sold. In the shining glass citadel of Solaris, Inc, new ideas are brought forth (and promptly bungled). And, of course, in the heart of it all lies the city’s burgeoning steel industry. Not as big as Fillydelphia’s, of course, but still big enough that the city gains a certain notoriety for itself.

Imagine all that.

Now imagine that in the span of a few seconds, it all turns to ruin.

This is what the ponies of Pittspur faced on the eve of their downfall: the night the balefire bombs detonated and Equestria and Zebrica declared their war to be over in the most violent way possible.

Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself.

Several hundred years ago, some ponies discovered that some of the rocks they had been digging out of the ground were, in fact, a useful form of energy. They called it “coal,” and Equestria saw the rise of a new age. Industries previously unimagined were created, and the country experienced a technological boom the likes of which hadn’t been seen since the three tribes first founded it. For the first time in history, arcane science was combined with mundane technology to create new machines that could have never before been possible: robots, machines capable of performing tasks automatically without magic; computers, machines capable of solving problems far faster than the greatest pony minds ever could; and automated factories to produce all these new marvels. Truly, it was a magnificent time to be alive.

But all good things must come to an end, and it looked for a time like Equestria’s newfound prosperity would come crashing down on top of itself as coal began to become more and more scarce. However, diplomats from sunny Zebrica put forward a proposal to trade Zebrican coal for Equestrian gems, and Equestria was once again able to power its new machines with reckless abandon.

However, Equestria’s need for coal soon far outstripped Zebrica’s supply, and once again talks were had in order to attempt to implement a new trade treaty. However, relations were becoming strained, with both sides placing sanctions on imports from the other, and after the event that would later be known as the Massacre at Littlehorn, Celestia stepped down from the throne, leaving her sister Luna as sole Equestrian princess. It was at this point that the ponies saw no other option than, for the first in a very long time, to go to war.

The Lunar Princess created six governmental agencies to assist with war-related matters, each led by one of the Bearers of Harmony: the Ministry of Arcane Science, led by Twilight Sparkle, whose job it was to research new arcane technologies to assist in the Equestrian war effort; the Ministry of Wartime Technology, led by Applejack, whose job it was to create new non-arcane technologies to assist in the Equestrian war effort; the Ministry of Peace, led by Fluttershy, whose job it was to research nonviolent methods of ending the war, as well as tending to the casualties; the Ministry of Morale, led by Pinkie Pie, whose job it was to, well, keep morale up; the Ministry of Awesome, led by Rainbow Dash, whose job was so nebulously specified that it was rumored that not even the Ministry Mare herself knew what her job was; and the Ministry of Image, led by Rarity, whose job it was to…

To…

Okay, I’m going to be perfectly honest: I have no idea what her Ministry was about. Details are remarkably hard to come by.

Where was I?

Ah, yes. The Last Day. As I have stated, this was the day when the war ended, when the zebras and ponies detonated their weapons and killed us all. Well, everypony except the pegasi. Instead of attempting to help those left behind in the radioactive fallout of the war, they fled above the clouds, closing the sky behind them, leaving the weather to remain uncontrolled on the surface they never looked back on.

Just over two hundred years ago, Stable-Tec, headed by Applebloom, sister to Ministry Mare Applejack, began the ambitious project of installing large underground bunkers known as Stables throughout Equestria and the surrounding lands. The exact number of these Stables is unknown, but it must have been very large, considering the population at the time.

But of course, you knew all this already.

There just so happened to be a Stable smack dab in the middle of Pittspur: Stable 25. This is where my grandparents came from. However, life in the Stable wasn’t as glamorous as was advertized. Rumor has it that this was due to the tampering of Solaris, Inc., one of Stable-Tec’s rivals. Unfortunately, whatever the cause, when the Stable opened, it released some kind of disease over the population of Pittspur.

This is where I come in.

My name is Data Disk. I was a computer repairpony for the Followers of Fluttershy in Pittspur, a group dedicated to Fluttershy’s vision of providing care to those who need it. We had successfully developed a remedy for the symptoms of the Pittspur Pox, but had yet to have any success in developing an actual cure.

Until, that is, he appeared.

My name is Data Disk, and this is not my story.

Chapter 1: Standing in the Rain

Thunk!

“Stupid piece of junk!”

Thunk!

I sighed and ran a hoof through my mane. “Okay, let’s try this again.” Though it was true that when Stable-Tec built something, they built it to last, the same couldn’t be said of Solaris Inc. No, they preferred to just slap some machinery in some housing and hope to the Celestial Sisters that it worked. Case in point was the terminal that was my current source of frustration. While it was supposed to be holding a record of medical data for the Followers of Fluttershy, it was currently being an overly large and (probably at one point in the past) expensive paperweight, causing me to wish that I could have it suffer the same fate as the cracked terminals that adorned my flanks.

But of course, all that was brushed aside when the door to my room was thrown open.

“Disk! Drop whatever you’re doing and get your flank to the lobby!”

I turned to see Healing Medley in the doorway, pink chest heaving and purple mane frazzled. “Huh? What’s going on?”

“Thyme and Spades found a unicorn collapsed outside the front door.”

“Wait, what?” I fell over myself as I scrambled to get my saddlebags on. “How? I mean, unicorns just don’t appear in Pittspur! That just doesn't happen!”

Medley nodded. “Yeah. Sleepy Thyme said that he muttered something about a cure before passing out.”

Medley's words stopped me dead in my tracks. "Buh- Whuh- Nopony outside of the Facility is supposed to know about that yet! How did this guy find out about it!?”

The grinding of Medley’s teeth betrayed her calm tone. “No idea. But we’re going to save his sorry flank, and then we’re going to find out.”

Medley and I arrived on the ground floor, and it was chaos. Well, as much chaos as you can have with a night staff of six.

Lying on his side in the middle of the entryway was the sorriest excuse for a pony I had seen. The pony’s purple coat was marred by innumerable wounds, stab, burn, and bullet alike. His scraggly dark blue mane looked like it had seen better days, with the ends of most of his hairs singed. At first, I thought that he might have been dead, but as I looked closer, I could see the very subtle rise and fall of his side, indicating that despite appearances to the contrary, this pony was still alive.

In short, he looked like he had been through Tartarus and back.

Medley began shouting orders. “Spades! Thyme! Has the patient’s condition changed?”

Both of the colts shook their heads.

The chief mare’s mouth became a grim slash. “At least he hasn't gotten worse. Thyme, I need you to mix up a Number Three. Spades, go with Thyme and assist. Disk, I need you and Brace to get this guy to Staff’s office.”

The named ponies ran off to their assigned duties, while Medical Brace and I carefully lifted the unconscious lavender unicorn onto our backs. As we began our careful trot to Asclepius Staff’s office, I heard the patient mumble something that vaguely sounded like a complaint of being moved. I wasn’t surprised; considering his state, he was probably in a whole mess of pain.

The walk to Asclepius Staff’s office took less than a minute, but it was one of the quietest minutes of my life, not counting the sounds of the ponies running around behind us under Healing Medley’s direction.

At last, Medical Brace spoke. “We’re here.”

We shoved open the door to the medical unicorn’s door and carefully deposited the mystery unicorn on one of the makeshift cots. “Asci? Asclepius Staff? We’ve got a patient for you. The twins found him collapsed outside not too long ago.”

The wizened pink unicorn looked over our guest. “Oh my.” Casting a spell of some kind, he began his diagnosis. “Yes, I can see he is in very poor condition.”

“You don’t say.” My voice was so flat you could have used it as a carpenter’s level.

Staff nodded his head. “I do say. Not only is this pony in a state of shock, but he seems to be suffering from advanced radiation poisoning.” He floated a hooffull of Rad-Away bags from a doorless storage cabinet and hooked them to a Pre-War IV stand that had somehow survived. The needle ends were immediately jabbed into the mostly-unconscious pony’s legs. “That should take care of the radiation, but we still need-”

As if on cue, two colts ran in, balancing a sickly-green-colored healing potion on a tray on their heads.

“Ah, Sleepy Thyme, Lucky Spades. You have excellent timing, as always.” Asclepius surrounded the potion with his magic and floated it to his patient’s mouth. “I’m afraid this is going to taste terrible, but trust me, it is as effective at healing as it is foul.” Without further ceremony, he began to slowly pour the potion down his patient’s throat, massaging his neck to make him swallow when necessary.

My partner cleared his throat. “Is there anything else you require of us, Asclepius?”

In response, the medical pony just made a shooing motion with one of his forehooves.

I glanced at Brace. “Well, then, I guess that’s that for now?”

“Indeed.” The gray stallion began to walk back out the door, and I followed.

“I have to ask: why are you always so formal with him?”

“Asclepius?”

“Yeah.”

“It never hurts to show respect to your elders, especially one so learned as him.”

I gave Medical Brace a smirk. “Still hasn’t accepted you as his apprentice?”

Brace sighed, and I knew I had struck home. “Yes. No matter how many times I ask, he keeps rejecting me. If I didn’t know better, I would say that he... never mind.”

This was a side of him I had never seen before. Usually he was very forthcoming with his feelings, trying to model himself after Ministry Mare Applejack. “What?”

“It’s nothing. Forget it.”

“Oh come on, Brace. You know I can keep a secret.”

Another sigh. “All right. I was going to say that if I didn’t know better, I would say that he doesn’t want anyone to be able to fill his place, almost as if he wants to make sure he keeps his position, but if he dies, then...” Medial Brace broke off. “I really shouldn’t be talking like this.”

“Oh come on! It was just getting interesting!”

“No. I will speak no further on this subject. I recommend you return to whatever it was you were doing before Healing Medley called the emergency.” And with that, he left me standing in the hall by myself.

I sighed, and, with nothing better to do, headed back to my workshop.

////====////

Distant shouting roused me from my work trance. I looked around my little room, trying to discern its source. The voice called again, and it clicked that it was coming from the Atrium. I took my small beam pistol from its place next to my desk and placed it in its holster before heading out. Technically, I wasn’t supposed to have it, but I had heard way too many stories of the rest of the Wasteland to not at least take some precautions. I pushed open my door and looked down the aisle of “apartments” as Medical Brace liked to call them. Really they were just the large empty second floor divided up by sheets of scrap metal, but it was better than nothing. Seeing nopony else answering the call, I made my way down to the end of the row and peeked my head over the railing.

I could just make out the form of the unicorn from a few days ago, his midsection swathed in bandages and a cast on his left foreleg. I rolled my eyes. Some ponies just did not know how to be good patients. I chuckled lightly to myself as a possible joke about “patience” made its way through my mind as I trotted down the ramp.

I stopped a few feet away from the Pittspur Medical Research Facility’s latest “guest.” I noted the way he was slouching slightly. “You shouldn’t be up yet. Go back to bed.”

He gave me a glance, and I felt like I was being examined. “No,” he said finally. He took a deep breath and looked around at anything but me. “Where am I?”

I sighed. He was obviously not going to cooperate, at least not with me. Somepony like Medical Brace might have had better luck, but I often had a hard time dealing with patients. “You’re in the Pittspur Medical Research Facility, or PMRF for short. Some of our staff found you outside a few days ago, barely alive. You should count yourself lucky; not many ponies could have survived the injuries you had sustained, and certainly not the amount of radiation you had been dosed with. What were you doing, standing in the rain?”

“So I finally made it,” the unicorn said, “‘Bout time. So,” he turned to face me for once. “How far is that Stable from here?”

“Oh no you don’t. Staff would split his bit if you tried to leave in your condition, not to mention what Healing Medley would do.” I suppressed a shudder. She could be quite the firebrand when her temper got the best of her. “She’s in charge here, by the way. I would not recommend crossing her.”

“Who says I’m leaving like this?” he asked incredulously. “Healing potion or two in my system and I’ll be good enough to walk again.” he stretched out his legs a bit, probably still sore from the copious amount of magical healing he required.It was odd; for some reason his body seemed to reject most conventional methods of healing, so we had to pump him full of potion in order to get him anywhere near close to full health, not to mention the Hydra we had to use… that stuff was nasty.

“Next question,” the nameless stallion said staring at me from under his brow. He spoke slowly, pronouncing each word individually with great care and clarity. “Where. Is. My stuff?”

I chuckled despite myself. This pony was Bad News, but I had a promise to the Followers, and I intended to uphold it, damn it! “No no no. I don’t think you understand. You are days away from being healed properly, even with healing potions. You step out that door like you are and you are going to get very very hurt, and I really don’t want to see that. Come on,” I tried to grab the pony by the foreleg. “You have some resting to do.”

He glanced down at the hoof around his arm before looking back up at me. “You didn’t answer my question,” he said coldly.

“You’re right. I didn’t. Your possessions are being guarded; it looked like you had some things of value on you when we found you.” I noted the expression of anger begin to form on the patient’s face. “Don’t worry, we didn’t take any of it, just put it in storage. If you want I can get you a receipt from Cold Storage. You’ll get everything back when you leave. Now come on,” I tugged at the leg I was gripping, trying to get the unicorn to move. “Bed is waiting.”

“Alright alright,” he said, taking a step in the direction I was leading him. “One last question though, this cast,” he held up the hoof that was sturdily wrapped and bound, “what’s it made of?”

The unicorn's acceptance, accompanied with his apparent interest in his cast, made me miss what I should have seen coming. “Oh, it’s a special blend of concrete and touchstone. Hardens real nice, but light as a feather. Cool, huh?”

“Concrete?” he said, looking at the cast shaking his head. “Very sturdy, very dense.”

WHAP

Pain blossomed in the back of my skull as he dealt me a solid blow. Luckily, he was still recovering, or I was sure that would have left me out cold on the floor. Nevertheless, I stumbled forward from the force of the strike, dropping the other pony’s leg. “OW!” I whirled to face him. “What in the name of Celestia’s hallowed hock are you doing!?”

Instead of an answer, I found the unicorn had dropped to the ground like a sack of screaming potatoes. “FUCK!” he finally let out after a few seconds of writhing on the floor. “Fucking shit!” he said through gritted teeth. “Damn it.”

I held the back of my head with a hoof. It wasn’t a serious hit, but it was nothing compared to what the pony in front of me was probably experiencing. I carefully lifted the unicorn onto my back, being sure to dodge any of his flailing limbs. “Look,” I said flatly. “You’re only making things worse for yourself, okay? So stop acting like an impetuous foal.” I shouldered the door to the clinic open and deposited my guest back onto the cot from whence he came. “Now do everyone a favor and stay.” Without waiting for any sort of response, I turned to leave, but the door almost hit me smack in the snout as it opened, admitting the doctor of the hour.

“Ah, Data Disk,” he said as though he was greeting a friend for the first time in a while, “How are you?”

I rubbed the back of my head where the other pony (whose name I should probably have asked by then) had hit me. “A little sore, but I’ll be fine. Your patient tried to stage an escape.”

A raised eyebrow. “Really?” The doctor pushed past me to stand next to the bed. “How do you feel, my little pony?”

“Pissed!” his response was short, gruff and angry. “Where are my things!?”

Staff raised a placating hoof. “Don’t you worry, Erratic Key. Your things are being cared for.”

Finally hearing the formerly-anonymous pony’s name, I tilted my head in curiosity to get a better look at him. Emblazoned on his flank was the image of a key snapped in two. As I did so, a thought began to percolate in the back of my head.

Interesting that both he and I have something broken in half as our Cutie Marks.

A Pre-War article I had read a while ago on a theory about something called “fused fates” floated into my mind. In it, the author postulated that ponies with similar Cutie Marks all had their destinies entwined. They would not always affect the others in an obvious fashion, but they would still cause the others’ lives to be affected in some way. The author used a metaphor with ripples in a pond or something poetic like that.

Something tells me I should probably keep an eye on this pony.

I snapped back to the here and now when I heard my name. “Sorry, what?”

Asclepius Staff sighed. “I said, would you please go let Medley know that our guest is awake? There are some more diagnostic procedures I need to perform.”

I nodded and left the unicorns, making my way out and up the ramp.

////====////

I knocked on the door of Healing Medley’s office, the plywood covering the hole where glass used to sit enhancing my knock slightly. There was some shuffling, and the door opened, the mare I had been sent for on the other side. “Yes?” she asked stiffly.

I cleared my throat. Talking to Medley never really came easily to me for some reason. “Uh, Asclepius Staff sent me to tell you that the patient we brought in a few days ago is awake.”

“Good.” She seemed to take the news as little more than an annoyance. “See that he makes a full recovery before discharging him.”

I had to resist the urge to bow and call her “ma’am.” I settled on nodding.

She closed the door again. There was some more rustling, and she came out holding a slip of paper, which I took. “Here. Give him his receipt. Oh, and once you’re done there, one of the turrets in the entrance is malfunctioning again. Get on it.”

Another nod from myself, and the door was closed forcefully in my face. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding.

Okay then, better get to it…

I trotted back down the ramp to the medical office. Knocking to announce my presence, I pushed the door open just in time to hear the tail end of the Erratic Key’s saying something about wanting his things back, probably for something like the fourth time. I rolled my eyes as I entered, placing the receipt Medley had given to me on the table next to his bed. “Here,” I said, probably more curtly than was strictly necessary, “A receipt of your possessions. You’ll get them back once you’re discharged.”

“Yeah, that’s fine and dandy, Nurse Charity. But I don’t want to know my stuff is fine and alright. I want my stuff. Like, here, in front of me. Otherwise I’ll never be able to get out of here.”

Sisters, this guy just does not know when to give up, does he? I sighed heavily.. “All right, you know what? Fine. If you want out so badly...” I gave the bed-ridden unicorn’s cast a swift kick with my rear leg, dispelling the touchstone and causing the cast to crumble. I ignored his cries of pain and Asclepius’ vocal objections at what I had just done. “There you go. Take your receipt to the front desk; you’ll have all your stuff back in no time, and you can just come on back in a few hours once you’ve gotten yourself shot full of holes. Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a turret that needs my attention.” I angrily shoved my way past Asclepius, who looked like he was on the verge of protesting something else, and slammed the door open.

“Thanks, doc,” Erratic Key said sarcastically. What he said next would, unbeknownst to me at the time, change my life forever . “Now if I can go get my stuff I can get started on that cure or whatever.”

My previous train of thought derailed itself with a mental record scratch and crashed into a neighboring village, killing millions of innocent thoughts. I turned around and quietly closed the door.

That’s right, Medley said that he had said something about a cure when we brought him in...

Asclepius Staff blinked. “I’m sorry, I must have misheard you. Can you repeat what you just said?”

“I was complaining about how I was just assaulted by a controlling asshole of a nurse.Though I’m sure you were more interested in the cure thing, yeah?”

I waved the insult aside for the time being and shared a A Look with Asclepius.

“How… how did you come by this information?” he asked tentatively.

“Let’s say a little robot birdie told me,” Erratic Key said. “Either way, I know there’s some disease spread through this city and you seem like a fine enough place to start. I mean,” he turned to face me, “why else did you think I wanted to go to the Stable?”

Asclepius Staff blinked in surprise. “You were going to the Stable!? In your condition?” He nickered. “Good thing we found you, then. You were in no condition to go Stable-diving, and even then you were alone.” he shook his head in disbelief. “You are either the most brave or the most foalish pony I have ever met, Erratic Key, though I am inclined towards the latter.” he looked back to me, his eyes asking if we should confirm what our guest already knew. A subtle nod was returned his way, and he sighed. “What we are about to discuss here does not leave this clinic, understood?”

Erratic Key furrowed his brow. “Why?”

I stepped forward. “Fair question. Basically, it comes down to the Follower’s philosophy. While, as I previously mentioned, we do have a treatment readily available for the Pittspur Pox, we have no real vaccine or cure. As such, we would rather be able to open our doors and announce that we have a cure than keep them closed and have to report every few months that we are still working on something. It all comes down to hope, you see. If it’s public knowledge, then the more we delay the cure, the less hope the people of Pittspur have, and the worse things get. Eventually we would probably have to deal with some sort of riot or siege if they got angry enough. As it is, we want to try and avoid large-scale conflict.”

“So you’re lying to an entire city in hopes that they don’t all crucify you?” he asked.

Asclepius coughed. “Basically, yes. You understand, though, right?”

Key stared at us for a few moments, motionless as he did so. “Fine,” he answered with a shrug, “So from what I understand, you two can’t get to the Stable, which is where the cure is?”

I shook my head. “Not exactly. It’s not like there’s just going to be a bottle somewhere with a label on it saying ‘The Cure’ or anything. We need to create it ourselves. And while we certainly have the tools to do so, we have no idea what is actually causing the disease. All we know is that its first recorded case was after the opening of Stable 25, the Stable in the middle of the city, making it most likely that the two are linked. Our working theory is that the Stable was somehow sabotaged by Solaris, inc, Stable-Tec’s main competitor. If we were somehow able to-”

Hold on a second. This pony was all set to go into that Stable.

So?

So… what if I can convince him to find the cause of the Pox while he’s there? It would certainly save us the headache of hiring a mercenary or something.

Two things: 1) That would be basically hiring a mercenary. 2) You just met this stallion! How do you have any idea that he’s trustworthy?

I mentally shrugged at myself.

Just a feeling I have. Trust me on this. Besides, if you really wanted, you could always just go with him. You have been looking for an excuse to get firsthoof experience of the Wastes.

Not a bad idea, if I do say so myself.

Glad I agree.

I stomped a hoof in sudden realization. “I got it! You could be that pony! You could go to the Stable!”

“Hey! You know what, I could, couldn’t I?” Key said with mock enthusiasm. “Oh, but I couldn’t make that journey unsupplied. Tell you what, idea guy, I’ll make a list of things I’ll need and you can get them for me, and I’ll be able to get out of here and get to that Stable.” he handed the receipt to me, which I took and placed in my saddlebags. “There you go.”

“Tell you what. I’ll do you one better. Give me a few minutes to pack up some things, and I’ll come with you. Besides, you’d need to come with me to the front desk to get your possessions back. Rules, sorry.”

Asclepius moved to block my exit from the room. “Disk, are you insane!? You have no experience out there! You’ll die within the day!”

I gave him a small smirk. “Not exactly. I can handle myself in Uptown just fine, you know.” I pulled a map from my saddlebag, which the medical pony promptly took. “I managed to gather all that without crossing the river. Imagine what I could get if I were to actually start to explore with somepony to watch my back. Considering the state our friend here was in when we brought him in, I imagine he’s had more than a little bit of experience. Am I right?” I called the question over my shoulder to the injured unicorn.

He gave a humorless laugh. “Ahaha. No. Your friend over here, though, is very correct.”

A smug grin formed itself on Asclepius’ face as the other unicorn offered his support to his argument.

On the other hoof, I could feel my face fall and disappointment entered my voice. “Well according to The Wasteland Survival Guide, one’s chances of survival go up at an exponential rate the larger the travelling group is. Thus, if you and I were to join forces, our odds of survival would be much higher than if just one of us had headed out on his own.”

“Do you really think your chances of not being shot go up by coming with me?” the Wastelander asked.

“Well, I’m assuming that you’re a better shot than I am, so… yes.”

“No no no,” he said matter-of-factly with a shake of his head. “You misunderstand. I mean, do you believe your chances of staying alive improve by leaving the large well supplied building full of doctors and medical supplies?”

The logic in the purple unicorn's question made me pause. "When you put it that way... no." It suddenly occurred to me that I really had no reason to leave the safety of the PMRF.

Oh come on, are you kidding me?

What?

Don't play dumb. You know what you’re talking about.

... Medley?

Precisely. You know how much the cure research means to her. If you can advance that at all, she'd be incredibly grateful. I mentally winked at myself, causing me to blush.

But I couldn't just-

Yes you can, and you will!

But they-

“Are you blushing?” somepony asked.

“Whuh?” I shook my head, bringing myself back from my internal dialogue to reveal Erratic Key staring at me with a shit-eating grin on his face. “Oh, I… uh. Okay, well maybe I do have an ulterior motive. You see, Medley and I... we, uh..." I rubbed the back of one of my forehooves with the other. "We're kind of in a relationship, you see, and, uh, the cure is really her driving passion right now. I was hoping that if I could accelerate that at all..." My sentence tapered off as I tried to retreat into myself in embarrassment. I hadn't really told anypony else about this, not even Medley, and behind me I could feel Asclepius Staff leaning in.

“Wait wait wait, let me see if I understand this,” Erratic Key said, closing his eyes. “You’re in a relationship?”

“Well, uh… maybe? I mean, I was hoping that the cure would… yeah.” I kicked at the floor nervously.

“So that’s a no, then? Or, let me put it like this: this relationship which may or not be real: does the mare know?”

"I, uh, well, not really, no. I haven't really said anything to her about it yet. I mean, I've tried, but she just gets a bit, well, you know, sometimes."

Erratic Key rubbed a temple as he stretched his jaw. He seemed to debate something for a bit, then finally spoke: “What can you do?”

The abrupt change in the unicorn’s disposition threw me for a loop. Did he know something I didn’t about Medley? “What, uh, what do you mean?”

“I mean what are you good at?” he asked, pressing his forehoof harder into his temple. “What can you do that will possibly help someone survive out there?”

“I-” I began, but the unicorn behind me cut me off.

“Disk, I once again ask you to reconsider your course of action, now more than before! If you plan on going out there just to win the favor of Medley, well then, I suggest that you think long and hard about things before you do. I she really worth dying over? From the sounds of things, it looks like you just have a little crush on our dear Director of Operations. Do you think-”

I whipped around to face the accusing pony, pushing myself to that we were almost pressed into one another. “Look, Staff. This is more than just Medley. It’s bigger than you, it’s bigger than me, and sometimes I think it’s bigger than the whole of the PMRF! If we succeed here, we’d be ridding the Pittspur area of a twenty-plus year old problem! Don’t you think that’s worth the risk!?”

“Oh Stars, I hope she’s at least hot,” Erratic Key commented from the peanut gallery. I ignored him as hard as I could.

Asclepius Staff narrowed his eyes, taking a step back. “Now you’re just waffling. Before you were saying that you wanted to leave to gather more data, then you wanted to impress Medley, and now it’s about the greater good. Make up your mind, Disk! Which is it?”

Come on, think! What can I say to convince them to just let me go?

“All of them!” I blurted. “It’s about everything!”

“Maybe she’s a bitch and he likes it dirty or something?” the peanut gallery added in a lower tone. Once again, he was forcefully ignored.

Asclepius said nothing, but his raised eyebrow said all he needed to.

I decided to ignore him for the time being and turned back to the Wasteland unicorn. “To answer your question, I happen to be very good at fixing things, as well as working with computers and other mechanical devices.” I gestured towards my Cutie Mark with my snout. “Additionally, as a Follower, I happen to have a decent bit of medical training.”

That last bit seemed to get his attention.“Can you make drugs?” he asked enthusiastically.

“I- whuh?” The unicorn’s sudden attention was more than slightly disconcerting. “Uh… I suppose, given the right materials and equipment, though the Followers-”

“You’re hired,” he said, nearly leaping to his hooves from the bed despite his still-unhealed injuries. “Welcome aboard. Now what the hell do I call you?”

“I, uh, my name’s Data Disk-”

“You’re kidding,” Staff said from behind me, “You’re kidding right? You’re really going to go out there with this obviously insane Wastelander without any sort of… of preparation!?”

I turned once again to face the old pony. “Look, Staff, my mind’s made up, and there’s really nothing you can do to stop me. I’m leaving, and that’s that.”

Asclepius narrowed his eyes dangerously. “I could tell Medley.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh really?” The unicorn turned tail and began his swift egress, but I reached out and tripped him, causing him to hit his head on the wall.

As the old unicorn slumped to the floor, I reared back in surprise. “Oh, Sisters!” I put an ear to his chest. “Okay, good. He’s just knocked out.” I looked around, the unfortunately-familiar feeling of panic settling in. “Uh… oh!” I lifted the unicorn onto my back and set him down on one of the nearby empty beds. “Okay, Erratic Key, we better get out of here. I just attacked a senior staff member, and there’s no way in Tartarus anypony’s going to like me after that.”

“I don’t know, you’re starting to score some points with me,” Erratic Key said, giving me a smug look as he walked past me and out the door.

I followed, and found Erratic Key standing outside the door, waiting for me.

“So this mare of yours,” he inquired. “Is she single?”

“Uh… I guess so,” I said, scuffing the ground with a hoof nervously. A bad habit, I know, but one that I just couldn’t seem to break no matter how hard I tried. I quickened my pace a bit and began leading the way up the ramp towards the second floor. “I mean, right now she is, at least.”

“Well make up your mind, man,” Key said. I looked back to see him looking around worriedly. "We are going to get my stuff right?"

I nodded. “Yeah, but like I said, I need to get my things first. I’ve seen enough patients from the Wasteland to know that I’m not going to last very long without some supplies, even with your help.”

“Oh sweet Stars,” he groaned, “You’re going to say goodbye to her aren’t you?”

“I, uh, what?” The thought honestly hadn’t crossed my mind. “I don’t think Medley would approve of my going out like this, even if it was to further research the cure. Like I said, I just need to…” I opened the door to my small living space. “get some stuff.” I began grabbing supplies from around the room. Okay, let’s see… hack tool. Check. Repair kit. Check. Water. Check. Food. Check. Extra spark batteries. Check. Map. Check. Medical supplies. Check. Hrm. Oh, duh. Caps. Check. Too bad I don’t have any armor. Maybe I can find some at the Residence. Oh yeah, better snag the spare targeting talisman. I exited my room. “Okay, that should be enough. The only thing I don’t have is some armor, but hopefully I can find some at the settlement up the road.”

“And what about my stuff?” Erratic Key said, raising an eyebrow.

“At the front desk. Come on.” I began leading the way back down to the ground level. “So it’s been a while since I’ve really been far from the PMRF. Anything I should know about before we leave?”

“You’re going to die,” he said flatly. “Probably in the first two days. If you can make it that far you’ll probably die in the next two days. Though if you can make it about a month you’ll have a special or stupid death waiting for you.”

That wasn’t very encouraging. “Gee, thanks for the support.” We passed by the medical “office” and down another smaller ramp to the main lobby. I trotted over to the desk where a dark blue earth pony was sitting. “Hey Stores, got a receipt.” I passed the paper over the counter to the waiting pony. “One for discharge as well.”

Cold Storage said nothing, as was his wont, but he slid a clipboard with several papers across to me. He retreated into the back room as I began filling out Erratic Key’s discharge papers. They weren’t anything actually official, but we tried to keep some records of who came in, when, and why. Just in case.

In a few minutes, the bulky pony came back bearing a large burlap sack on his back which he walked around the counter to set on the ground. I slid the clipboard back to him, and he nodded, the closest anypony could get to a word from him. I turned back to Erratic Key. “There you go. I need to go take a look at one of the turrets before we really leave, so just head on over once you’ve got your things together.” I gestured to the main door that had at one time been several glass doors but had been replaced with boards. I walked in the indicated direction and let myself out into the cool Pittspur air.

The sky, from what I could see around the concrete awning that stretched over the entrance to the ex-science museum, was as gray as the awning itself. Judging from the light, though, it still looked to be early in the morning. I turned my attention to the tripod-mounted gun that stood next to me, serving as a poor pony’s turret. I reached into my saddlebag, withdrew my tool kit, and got to work.

Sure enough, as Medley had said, the targeting talisman was in need of replacement, a large slash cut through the middle. I wondered if the damage could have been caused by our visitor. I hadn’t seen unicorns fight all that much, but I imagined that they would be able to use bladed weapons very efficiently, not having to move to swing them. I mentally shrugged as I popped the old talisman off with a screwdriver. He was probably delirious at the time, judging by his wounds when we found him, and thought the turret an enemy. I fished out the replacement talisman and slotted it into place, causing the gun to jerk upright and point straight ahead at the ruined skyscrapers that made up the bulk of the Pittspur skyline. Ah well, a mystery for another time.

I stowed my tools and the talisman as I heard the door open behind me.

“This looks kinda familiar,” Erratic Key said from behind me just as I was putting my tools away.

“Good to hear. Hopefully you’ll remember something more as we go.” I pulled the Pittspur map from my saddlebags and laid it out on the ground.

“Okay, we’re here...” I pointed to the appropriate areas of the map as I spoke. “And Stable 25 is here, across the river. Now, since all the bridges are broken, we’ll have to deal with the ferry.” I ground my teeth in frustration. “Not looking forward to that. Once we cross, I suggest we head around the south side of the crater so we can avoid the Junkies that call the north side home.”

“Okay, uh, Disk? I’m not sure how to tell you this, but... it looks like some filly decided to get creative with their time of month on your map.”

I felt myself flush. “Oh shut up! I’ll have you know that it took me several years to compile that data! Plus, you try mouth writing and see how neat it is compared to your fancy hornwriting!”

Key chuckled. “So how long do you think that will take us? Because I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure if we have enough supplies to make a trip that far. Of course I have no idea how this map is scaled.”

I shrugged. “I found the map in the gift shop, but the scale was torn off, so your guess is as good as mine. As for travel time...” I tapped my chin thoughtfully. “It’s maybe a two or three hours’ walk from here to the Crossing, but that’s as far as I’ve been.”

“So about half a day, then. Do you have enough stuff, or do you need to go to…” Erratic Key paused for a moment. “Where is it you go to resupply?”

I rolled up the map and put it back in my saddlebags. “Well that settles that, then, we’re heading to the Residence. No use dying of hunger or thirst before we can even get to the Stable. The only thing we’re going to really want to avoid is the Aviary. Radiation has not been kind to those poor birds.” I gestured in the general direction of the old skycarriage terminal. “Lead on, MacClop!”

“What?”

I shook my head. “Never mind. It’s something Jury Rig used to say.”

“All...right then,” Erratic Key replied as we began walking. “Welp, we’ve got a long way to go so why don’t you tell me about yourself, Data Disk? Who is Data Disk really? What’s your Cutie Mark story? Favorite color? Favorite position?”

“I... uh...” That was a lot of questions, and I wasn’t sure where to start, especially with the question about position. I assumed that he was implying something sexual, but I hadn’t really ever been intimate with anypony before, not that I’d admit it.

“Well, let’s start with something simple,” Key said, closing his eyes. “What... is your favorite color?”

I put a hoof to my chin, pausing my walking. “You know, I never really gave much thought to that, but I’d have to say that I’m partial to green.”

“Why?”

I started walking again. “I honestly can’t say. Maybe it has to do with my color palette, or maybe it’s something else, I don’t know.”

Erratic Key sighed. “Fair enough. At least you know what a color is, which is more than I can say for most of the people out here in the Wasteland. Next question: Mares? Or stallions? Or both?”

That was an easy one. “Mares.”

“All right, Have you ever killed anyone? Intentionally?”

I stopped again. “No. No I haven’t. And I hope to the Sisters that I never have to. I know, though, that it’s a rule of the Wasteland that sooner or later, you will kill. I just hope to hold off on it as long as possible.”

Erratic Key halted, causing me to almost walk into him. When he next spoke, his voice was flat, low, and hollow. “Don’t act like you know anything about what’s out here. And if that’s the way you feel, then I suggest you turn right the fuck around and go home. If not,” he said, resuming walking, “we will go to the next question.”

I was stunned temporarily by my new companion’s sudden shift in attitude, but I shook it off and hurried to catch up with him. “Look, I know you’ve been out here for a while.”

“An understatement.”

“But I believe that what we’re doing here will help people, and that’s really all I want. To help.”

“So you think killing people is going to help them?”

I exhaled slowly and closed my eyes. “No. Killing people solves nothing. But if it’s what I have to do in order to save others, then that’s something I’m going to have to learn to deal with.”

Erratic Key sighed deeply and shook his head. “Don’t we all.” He paused, seemingly deep in thought. “So then,” he continued, “time for the big one. How did you get your Cutie Mark?”

I smiled. My Cutie Mark story was a point of pride for me. “I was raised in the PMRF, you see, so as a foal I didn’t have a whole lot to do in terms of entertainment, so I ended up just messing around on the public terminals. One day, I ended up accidentally unlocking some lightly encrypted files, and my Mark appeared.” I glanced at Key’s flank. “What about you?”

“Got bored up at Tenpony and decided to go exploring,” he said as we kept walking. “Eventually I found myself a locked door. I fixed that. After that I decided to leave, see what was out here in the Wasteland. Did some exploring, been to nearly every corner of what used to be Equestria. Except the Hoof; fuck that place.”

I knew this guy must have had some experience, judging from his appearance (I chuckled internally at my unintentional rhyme), but that was more than I was expecting. “Wow, really? That’s… just wow. What’s the most interesting place you’ve been?”

“Define interesting. I’ve seen shit you wouldn’t believe; you’re going to have to be a bit more specific.”

I tapped my chin, but dropped my hoof as I felt something whizz by my ear. “Woah, what was that!?”

“GET THE FUCK DOWN!” Erratic Key screamed as he darted off into a building to my left.

As requested, I immediately dropped to my stomach, trying to see what shot at me. I scanned the horizon and saw three ponies. I couldn’t quite tell from where I was, but their manes looked a bit... off. And their eyes, oh Sisters above, their eyes. They all had a look in them that made me fear for my life. Though I had never seen them in person, I had read the Wasteland Survival Guide enough to knew what they were:

Raiders.

Their presence here in Uptown both confused and terrified me; they normally kept to Downtown, on the other side of the river. How did they get over?

“Hey Key, what-” I realized Erratic Key was no longer next to me and panicked. Ohshitohshitohshit. What do I do!? I knew in theory that I was supposed to be firing back, but I was still having a bit of trouble getting over the sudden shock of my life being put in danger.

“Where’d the other one go?” I heard the riflepony, his rough voice sending tremors of fear through my prone form.

“Fucker probably shit himself and ran off. Didn’t see anything on him ‘cept some packs. Probably ain’t got shit in ‘em anyway,” the SMG-wielding one commented.

“Who cares,” the pipe-wielding one laughed through his teeth, “We got this one. We can hunt the other one down as soon as we’re done here.”

I blanched as I heard the Raiders’ talking. OhshitohshitohshitI’mgoingtoDIE! I glanced around, trying to look for a place I could hide. Alleyway! Go! I ran as fast as I could towards the (hopeful) safety of the building’s corner, but fell forward when I heard a sharp crack and felt an intense pain shoot through my lower leg.

The Raiders wasted no time in surrounding me, the pipe-wielding one swinging his improvised club menacingly. “Heh heh heh. He’s not gonna get away,” he said. “No running. No escape. DINNER TIME!”

There was a small smack as an object hit the SMG-wielding Raider.

Tink, tink, tink...

I could see the fear on the Raider’s face as the grenade hit him. “Fuck! Grenade! Scatter!” The Raiders ran, but the grenade still sat on the ground. As I stared at it, time seemed to slow to a crawl.

“HOW’S IT GOIN’!”

From somewhere behind me, Erratic Key dove into the Raiders, stabbing some sort of blade into the SMG pony’s head with a sickening crunch. As the other two recoiled in shock, he picked up the apple and slammed it into the jaw of the rifle-wielding stallion, causing his rifle to fall to the ground. Giving no quarter, he continued hammering away at the Raider’s head until it was an unrecognizable mess of bone and blood.

I could only watch in horror as Erratic Key proceeded to pound the putrid pony’s skull into paste. This is.... oh Sisters, what have I gotten myself into? Burning bile rose in my throat unbidden as my lunch threatened to make itself known to the world.

Erratic Key turned, the blade in the SMG pony’s skull glowing a light blue as it levitated out of its victim.

The pipe Raider backed up in shock. “Motherfucker! You’re dead!”

“‘Fraid not,” Erratic Key whispered. He floated the sword in front of himself, watching the Raider.

The Raider let out a primal yell and charged.

Erratic Key dove, propelling himself just to the Raider’s side, rolled into a leap that ended with him atop his attacker’s back.

He turned his head slightly, and the Raider’s head was severed from his neck.

The pipe clattered to the ground as a slither of blood gently fell onto its rusted surface and the shattered concrete beneath it.

The Raider’s still-warm body fell to the ground with a dull thump. The blade’s handle once again glowed with Erratic Key’s magic, and it freed itself from the Raider with a wet sucking sound. Erratic Key scraped himself off and slung some of the fresh blood from his sword. “You alright?” he asked nonchalantly, inspecting his sword’s condition.

“I... you... and he...” I could only stammer as once again my rump hit the pavement. I stared at the wild beast who called himself Erratic Key. “What are you?” A small part of me chided myself for the cliche, but the rest of me was too stunned to care.

“I am whatever the Wasteland needs me to be in order to survive,” he replied, his voice bereft of emotion. “So, are you having fun yet? Helping ponies, am I right?”

“I...” the look on the stallion’s face as Key was bashing his skull in was branded on my eyes. “How can you do that? Just...” I could feel a strange anger building in me. “He probably had a family! A wife! Foals! And now he has nothing! His spouse, his foals, when they expect him home, all they have is a corpse! Not even that! They have three-quarters of a corpse! I know they’re Raiders, and they regularly do horrible things, but they’re still ponies! How does that justify killing them!?” By the time I was done, I felt spent and my sides were heaving. I dropped my head and began to cry. “Fuck...”

I stiffened as I felt the cold barrel of a gun pressed to my temple. A rough voice, one that held a slight resemblance to Erratic Key’s, began to speak, its tone low and dangerous: “You think those three gave a single shit whether or not either of us died? You think any of those questions cross the minds of any of the sick sadistic fucks you come across out here?” His voice began to rise in intensity. “What about you, Disk? What about the ponies you know? What about any of your friends, your family. You think they gave a single thought about any hopes, dreams, and ambitions you might have had?”

I felt the barrel leave my head and I looked to see Erratic Key gesturing grandly at the buildings around us. “Welcome to the motherfucking Wasteland, Data Disk! Population consisting of monstrous animals, horrid abominations and the dead bodies of EVERY. SINGLE. PONY. Who wanted to do a little bit of good but couldn’t drag themselves down into the mire of shit that is survival!” He lifted the SMG and fired randomly into the air. “IS EVERYBODY HAVING A GOOD TIME!”

There was a small click of an empty magazine, and Erratic Key tossed the SMG onto the ground. “You're a medic right? I suggest you fix that hole in your leg if we’re going to get anywhere today.”

I continued crying, but my mind was digesting what the crazy Wastelander who had saved my life just said. Eventually, I managed to stop my crying and wiped my eyes. “No. Just because it’s survival doesn’t mean it has to suck forever.” I looked him in the face. “And with the Celestial Sisters as my witnesses, I am going to do something about that, damn it!”

I pulled a strip of cloth along with a healing potion from my saddlebags. I swigged the potion and tied the cloth around my injured ankle, rising to my hooves with a new sense of determination. “Let’s go; we’ve got people to help.”

“Yeah, I guess we do,” Erratic Key whispered as he walked over to the broken bodies of the Raiders. He began to search through the pockets in the dead ponies’ barding, looking for anything useful.

A thought occurred to me, and I shuddered at the implications. “Uh, Key, I have a thought... neither of us have barding.” I winced internally and continued. “Should we... ugh... do something with the Raiders’ barding?”

“You can if you want,” he said as he finished digging through the last of the Raiders. “I mean, if you’re comfortable with dressing in pony hide and spikes that will get you shot on sight by any form of civilized pony then you go ahead. If not, we’ll take this stuff and sell it for some real protection once we get to that settlement.” His piece said, he began to strip the ponies of their armor.

I thought about that for a moment. “Good point.” Grimacing, I joined Erratic Key in the looting.

////====////

The trip to the settlement north was rather uneventful. With Erratic Key leading the way, we kept to the rubbled sections of the streets, sneaking our way around and steering clear of the Aviary and anything else that might be deemed as trouble.

The Residence was visible far before we actually reached it. In stark contrast to the rest of the city, this building looked almost-new, with some off-colored stone here and there betraying the fact that it had been painstakingly rebuilt. As far as I knew, the practice was uncommon in the Wasteland, but the shelter the multistory apartment building provided was worth the effort. Long plastic tarps stretched from the midsection of the building down to two large water collection tanks, doubtless fitted with filtration talismans to allow for rain collection.

“Well I have to admit,” Erratic Key said as I heard a clap of thunder over my head, “I was not expecting this.”

The sound turned my attention skywards. “Oh, crap.” I nudged Erratic Key. “We need to get inside, ASAP.”

“Yeah, the faster we make these trades, the faster we can go ahead and be on our way,” he said idly.

My forehoof collided sharply with my forehead. “No, it’s not that. The rain here is irradiated. We think that whatever the pegasi are doing above the cloud cover is producing some sort of magically radioactive waste, which they are then kind enough to dump on us. So unless you happen to like puking your guts out, I suggest you follow me.”

I moved to the intercom that was on the outside of the first of the lobby doors. The guard stallion on the other side noticed me and pushed the button. “Here for business or for lodging?”

“Business,” I stated, “and it’s starting to rain.”

The guard gave me a look that said that he knew quite well that it was raining, thank you very much, and buzzed the door open.

As we entered the space between the two sets of doors, the guard held out a hoof to stop us. He looked at my leg and at the blood spatters on Key’ coat, his eyes widened, and he pointed his battle saddle at us. “Now hold on right there,” he said, his voice brokering no nonsense. “Just where do you think you’re going?”

After the Raider encounter, I really didn’t like guns pointed at me, but I tried to retain my composure. “I- I, uh, we were, uh, we were attacked. We need to get to Downtown, and my friend here needs to buy some supplies.”

The guard raised an eyebrow. “And I’m supposed to believe that based on your word alone? Your “friend” there looks more like a Raider than a Wastelander. Mind explaining that?”

I blanched. “He, uh... he bashed in a Raider’s head. With a grenade.”

The guard looked at Erratic Key, then back at me. Then back to Erratic Key. Then at a point several feet behind my companion’s head. “He did what.” His eye twitched. “Hold on a moment. I need to speak with my superior. Don’t go anywhere.” He backed through the inner doors, keeping his guns trained on us.

Through the glass, I could see the security pony talking to a second one. After some muted conversation, the first guard opened the door again, holding it open this time. “My boss wants to talk to you.”

Curious as to what this pony could want, I headed inside.

The main lobby was a simple room, with the patched concrete being lit by several bare bulbs dangling from the ceiling. It wasn’t too great, but it looked like it got the job done. Directly in front of us I could easily see a staircase that I imagined led up to the rest of the building, or at least what floors hadn’t been made impassible by debris. Off to the right was a corridor from which the smell of food and the sound of a few people talking. However, we were being led in the opposite direction, towards a dimly-lit room with a bored-looking silver mare sitting behind a desk.

Our escort nodded to the mare, who nodded back as he left the way we came. The mare steepled her forehooves and leaned in on her elbows. “I’d ask you to sit down, but I’d rather you not stain anything.”

I forced a grin. “Yeah, we’re a real mess, huh?”

“No shit,” she replied with a chuckle. “So what in the name of all the Wastes have you two done to make one my guards run into my office pissin’ himself like a filly and telling me that I gotta see two visitors. Do you have any idea how much I have to do on a daily basis?”

Erratic Key stomped a forehoof. “Something along the lines of going into too much detail of what happened during our trip!” he turned to me. “We ran into a couple of Raiders along the way. This one shit himself and got shot, and things got a little bit....physical. Something about a grenade a skull and a lot of beating. Thus...” he motioned at the blood covering the two of us.

I raised a hoof. “I will have you know that I did no such thing. The... the shitting thing, not the getting shot thing,” I added, gesturing to my still-wrapped leg.

Erratic Key ignored me. “Rivers of the stuff. Brown everywhere.”

The mare exhaled heavily through her nostrils. “I’m sure. Look, if the worst thing I have to worry about is two ponies trying to defend themselves and getting just little bit enthusiastic, then I’d say we’re fine. Now, both of you get out of my office, and I expect to not see either of you again. Do you understand?”

I gave a short salute. “Yes ma’am!”

“Good.The shops are on the 2nd and 3rd floors there’s a bar on this level if either of you need a drink, or to rent a room. If you need anything else talk to Barrel the bartender.”

“Thank you,” Erratic Key said, making his way back to the lobby. “So what do you want to do first? You thinking bar, ‘cause I’m thinking bar.”

I looked at the state of my companion’s coat as we paused just outside of the security mare’s office. “First thing? You need to get cleaned off. It might be a bit on the expensive side, but I think I have enough caps on me for you to rent a room. While you’re doing that, I’ll go and see about selling our... goods.” I know, they were Raiders, why should I care? They were still ponies, though, and the thought of selling things taken from a dead pony left a bad taste in my mouth.

Erratic Key nodded. “All right, let’s see if we can’t get a room and find out who we can sell some of this stuff to. I don’t know how long this rain’s going to go, so now’s a pretty good time to get some rest. We’ll probably need it.”

We began our walk over to the bar, and I noticed many of the Residence residents staring at Key’ horn, creating an uncomfortable atmosphere, probably on his side as well as theirs.

Finally the silence broke, and Erratic Key leaned over to whisper in my ear: “Disk, what’s with these ponies? It’s like they’ve never seen a unicorn. Or a pony covered in ridiculous amount of blood for that matter, but I find that everywhere I go. So where are all the unicorns?”

Ah. So he had noticed. “No one really knows. There’s a theory going around that Stable 25’s Grand Experiment was to have a Stable of only earth ponies, but I’m not too sure about that. Personally, I think it has something to do with Solaris’ meddling. I’m not sure what they wanted to accomplish without unicorns, but then again, this is Solaris we’re talking about.”

“Who is Solaris?” he asked.

We made our way through the lobby and entered the barroom. The bar was in surprisingly good shape, but then again, it shouldn’t have been surprising, considering the effort put into restoring the place. Across the barroom was the bar itself, a long plank of bright wood with numerous bottles of various drinks lined up along one end. What few ponies I had heard earlier must have left, because the only person in sight was who I assumed to be the barmaid, a chestnut-brown mare with a bright red mane and tail who seemed preoccupied with a terminal bolted to the wall.

I took a seat at the bar and turned to Erratic Key. “Right. You’re new to Pittspur. Basically, Solaris inc. is the biggest company who ever failed. Pretty much nothing they ever did turned out right. Case in point: they tried to combine a vacuum cleaner and a radio, Sisters know why, and somehow ended up with a sonic-based weapon. Before the war, they were Stable-Tec’s main competitor. They were trying to construct their own version of a Stable, but they kept failing. As the story goes, they somehow hijacked Stable 25 and messed with it to do their own experiments. The virus that we’re trying to cure? Yeah, that’s their fault.” I waved my hoof in the air. “Somehow.”

I tapped my hoof on the bar to get the mare’s attention. “Pardon me, ma’am? We’d like to rent a room, please.”

The brown mare turned around to look at us, her face plastered with a look of absolute pleasure. “Oh hiya!” she said as she approached us, “You two must be new ‘round here. Pleasure to meet’cha! I’m Barrel.” The mare began to rummage around beneath the counter as she continued to speak. “So what brings two new ponies to the Residence? One of ‘em a unicorn, too.” She reappeared from the counter and placed a small key on the table.

Barrel seemed like a nice mare. “Thanks.” I pulled out my bag of caps. “How much?”

“75 caps,” she replied. “Or if you ponies would be willing to give me a hoof, I could give you a special deal.”

“What do you need?” I asked.

“Oh well, do either of you know anything about terminals?” she asked, a sparkle in her eyes.

Now here was something that was right up my alley. “I know quite a bit about terminals, actually. What do you need?”

“Well, the one I’m using only has so much memory available and I keep trying to unlock more. But this tricky little spell matrix just won’t let me in. Do you stallions think you could help me out and try to unlock the rest of it?” Her voice had an accent to it that painted her as most definitely not a local, and her cheerfulness was honestly more than a little bit infectious.

“Ugh, those dumb Solaris machines!” I massaged a temple with a forehoof. “Yeah, that would be no problem.” I pulled my hacking tool out of my bag. “May I see the system in question?”

“Oh sure,” she said, unlocking a small part of the bar.

I walked over to the terminal and stared at it. As per Solaris standards., the poor excuse for a terminal looked to be constructed of the cheapest possible metal. I plugged the hacking tool into the port on the side and activated it. A stream of code ran down the screen of the device and a prompt appeared. After a few minutes of typing, I had successfully unlocked the extra memory that Solaris seemed fit to put in their terminals but not allow the user access to. I unplugged my tool and replaced it in my bag, swearing vengeance against the designer of Solaris terminals everywhere. I turned back to the wood-colored mare. “Okay, you should have access to all 16 kilosparkles of memory now. More than enough, if you ask me.”

“Oh thanks,” Barrel said. “That should give me enough space to record anything else I learn. Say, would two like to earn some extra caps while you're out in the Wasteland?” she looked pointedly at Erratic Key, “You two seem like you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself.”

“What do you need?” I asked.

“Oh, just a few odd jobs here and there outside in the city,” she smiled. “Anything you stallions bring me back I’ll happily pay you for. Where are you two headed?”’

“Truth be told, we’re actually headed to the Stable,” Erratic Key said.

“Wow, you boys are headed out pretty far. I hope you two stay safe; I wouldn’t want anything to happen to the two of you.”

“I think we’ll be okay,” he responded, throwing a hoof around me and pulling me into his blood-stained coat.

I squirmed under the grasp of my travelling companion, but I managed to break free. I wiped my now blood-soaked coat with a hoof. “Gee, thanks,” I shot at the unicorn. I turned my attention back to the lovely bartender. “Hopefully we’ll be okay.”

“Well, if you two say so. You two go ahead up to your room and consider it paid in full,” the bartender smiled.

Erratic Key bowed his head. “Thank you.” We turned to leave and immediately began heading for our room. “She likes you.”

I gave Erratic Key a nudge. “Shut up!” Despite my words, I couldn’t help but grin.

Soon enough, we reached the room. Key unlocked it, and we walked in.

The room contained a single bed which looked big enough for maybe one pony to sleep uncomfortably. A couch sat against the wall opposite the bed, with a door in the back leading to a small bathroom.

All in all, not a bad room, given the price. I glanced at my companion. “Dibs on the bed.”

Erratic Key glared at me, his voice a dangerous growl. “I have slept on the corpses of bandits, Raiders, and all the scum of this hellhole we call a world. The entrails of those who stood before me fended off the cold nights of the blasted waste that I called home. The bones of every single dead fuck who ever tried to stand against me have formed the foundations of my sanctuaries.”

He smiled. “You can have the bed if you want.”

I squinched my eyes into crescent moons. “Thanks! You can have first shower, if you want. The filters should be active, so don’t worry about radiation from the shower. There’s no heating talisman, though, so...” I shrugged. “What else is new?”

“The simple fact that I can shower!” Erratic Key yelled, already halfway to the bathroom. “Go ahead and see what you can find out around here. Talk to the residents and see what they know. When I’m done here I’ll meet you down Barrel’s and we’ll sell the stuff together. After that, as soon as the rain lets up, we’ll head out.”

Well then, Disk. You have some time by yourself. What do you do? I contemplated this for half a moment before the pain in my leg reminded me that there were some things I still needed to attend to.

I made my way to the stairs and limped my way to the second floor, looking for some sort of medical supply store. In my rush to leave the PMRF, I had neglected to pack some essentials, like anything to deal with a gunshot, which in retrospect was pretty stupid of me. A sign leapt out at me: it was an old wooden plank with the words “Snake Oil’s Stop” crudely painted in red on it above an image of a bandaged colt.

I knocked on the open door as I entered, more out of habit than anything else. The room was smaller rather cramped, as the shelves on which the vendor stored his wares jutted out from the walls quite from a bit. The curtains were drawn, meaning the only light source in the room was a single yellowed bulb, which cast a grimy light on everything. To my right stood a stallion, his coat the same grimy yellow as the walls.

“Hey there.” As he grinned, I could see that his teeth matched his coat. At least he was color-coordinated. “What can I get for ‘ya?”

I tried to snort away his bad breath without drawing too much attention to the fact I was doing so. “I was hoping to get some medical supplies.”

The yellow pony’s eye twitched, but then he smiled again. “Then you’ve come to the right place. Let ol’ Snake Oil take care of ‘ya.”

I took a half-step back. “Er... I just need the supplies, thanks. How much for a healing potion and a brace?”

The pony grabbed the requested items and puts them on the counter. “Seventy caps.”

“Seventy? Are you crazy? I’ll give you fifty.”

Snake Oil shook his head. “Sorry, kid you’ll have to do better than that.”

“Uh... fifty-five?” I was not a good barterer.

A shake of the head.

“Sixty?”

Another shake.

With a sigh, I shook seventy caps out of my bag and placed them on the counter, where they were swept up by the salespony, who pushed the items towards me.

“Thanks,” I muttered, putting my purchases in my saddlebag and making my way back to the room. I sat on the bed and began the rather tricky task of putting the brace on my leg.

A good hour later, my leg braced, I downed the healing potion I had bought from Snake Oil. I winced as the bones in my leg began to set. Rolling off the bed, I tenderly put my hoof down, testing my weight on it. Finding it acceptable, I headed down to Barrel’s to meet up with Erratic Key.

As I entered the bar, I noticed that there was a rather well-dressed pony sitting next to a larger one at a table in the middle of the room giving my companion a rather nasty look.

I slid into a chair next to Key. “What’s their deal?”

“Don’t worry about it, Disk,” he said, throwing an obviously-drunken hoof over my shoulder. “Hey, Barrel!” he cried out to the smiling bartender, who had since begun to hum a little tune “Get this fresh minty pony a drink! On me!”

I gave Erratic Key a sidelong glance. “I’m not minty...” I muttered. Something nudged my hoof and I looked down. A glass of scotch. I looked back up to see Barrel smiling at me. “Uh... thanks.” I wasn’t really much of a drinker, but I decided that I could make an exception. I lifted the glass to my lips and took a sip. Burning liquid poured down my throat, and I made a face. I heard someone clear their throat behind me, and I turned around. In front of me stood the business suit-wearing pony. Up close, I could see that his coat was a very dark brown, almost black color. Not something you see every day.

“Can I help you?” I asked.

The suited pony cleared his throat again. “Yes, I believe you can. My name is High Roller. My associate over there,” he gestured to the large also-brown stallion, “Is Bad Stone. We represent... well, let’s just say for now that we represent a party very interested in your work at the Pittspur Medical Research Facility.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I’m certain I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

High Roller just chuckled. “Of course you don’t. Have no fear, I am keeping what I know close to my vest, as it were. Now, my... client is searching for a relic of the ancient Crystal Empire. I happen to know of its location, and I am willing to reward you quite handsomely if you were to retrieve it.”

Something about the stallion struck me as off. I nudged Key. “What do you think?”

“I heard reward ‘nd handsome,” he slurred. “Just so you know, flattery will get you nowhere. I thank you for your time, though, and appreciate your interest in my body. Bribery will work just fine, though.”

Both High Roller and I stared at Erratic Key. I coughed. “Erm, you’ll have to excuse my companion here. He’s, uh... a bit drunk. That said, we thank you for your offer, but we will have to decline.”

The dark pony raised an eyebrow. “I see. Well, if you reconsider, we’ll be around.” He waved to Bad Stone. “Come, we have things to do.”

As the two strangers left the bar, I turned back to Erratic Key. “Huh. What was that all about?”

“What was what about?” he asked. “I was under the impression that we were in need of money. You know the thing used to buy stuff, like alcohol for instance,” he said as he raised a glass in my direction before downing it. “Honestly, some stallion walks up offers a treasure hunt with the promise of untold reward and yo-” he held up a hoof. “Alcohol just hit. Anyway, we need money, and you need more drinks.” he tapped the bar twice. “Just so you know, those two problems probably aren’t related.”

Barrel soon returned with a pair of shots, which she placed in front of us. “Hey Barrel?” Key asked, “What ya know ‘bout one High Rooler?”

Barrel raised an eyebrow. “Hm? Oh, I’ve seen him around here a few times. Usually pretty quiet. Asks if any strangers come through every time he visits. Never sure why though. Did he ask you boys something?”

I nodded. “He said that he was representing someone who was looking for a relic from the Crystal Empire.” I looked down at my scotch, contemplating taking another drink of the burning liquid. I shrugged and took another sip, suppressing another face.

“The Crystal empire?!” Barrel squeed. “Nopony hardly knows anything about the Crystal empire,” she said as she clapped her front hooves together like a little filly. “Do you think he might know something about it?

“Probably,” Erratic Key said. “If he comes around asking for strangers, then he’s looking for something would be my guess. That ‘r he wants somepony to do some lookin’ fer him.”

“Oh, just imagine what we could learn if somepony found something important about the Crystal Empire!” There was a gleam in her eye. “Would you boys please help him find whatever it is that he’s looking for?” Barrel turned to face me, and I was unprepared for the mare’s pleading puppy dog eyes. I swear I almost had a heart attack right there. “I’ll consider all your drinks from tonight on the house.”

“Disk, need I remind you that if we go look for this, all the drinks I’ve had will not cost us any caps?”

“How much have yo-”

In response, a light blue aura surrounded two bottles of whiskey and ten shot glasses as Erratic Key levitated them into the air. They were all empty.

I facehooved. “You and I have to have a talk later. And need I remind you that we are currently on a mission of our own?” I sighed. “I suppose that if wherever High Roller has us go isn’t too far out of the way, it wouldn’t hurt our income to go along with him.” I turned to Barrel. “Where’s this guy staying?”

“Yeah!” Barrel said clapping her hooves together again. “He staying on the fourth floor, room number thirteen.”

“Welp, I say we get going,” Erratic Key said, stumbling off the bar stool. “Come on Disk, we got quests to get!” He began to hobble in the general direction of the door.

I sighed and pulled Erratic Key towards the door. “Come on; we’re going to wait for you to sober up before we do anything.” I pulled my companion to the room and flopped him on the bed. “Get some sleep. It’s good for you.”

////====////

Morning found me shaking Erratic Key awake. “Hey. Come on, we have a pony to see about a thing.”

“Nn. Wh?” the lump on the bed muttered. He opened his eyes, but then quickly squeezed them shut again. “Gah. Too bright. I’ll be down in a bit.”

I sighed and made my way to the room that Barrel had told me was occupied by the business suit-wearing stallion.

Well, here we go...

I knocked on the door.

There was some shuffling from the other side, then the door opened a crack. Through it, I could see the blue eye of a yellow-coated pony. “Can I help you?” a mare’s voice asked.

“Uh... I think so. Is High Roller there?”

The door closed and there was some more shuffling and some muffled conversation. The door opened again, revealing High Roller. “Ah, so you’ve returned. Reconsidered my offer, have you?”

I rubbed the back of my neck. “Yeah. As much as I hate to admit it, we could use the caps right now.”

The dark pony smiled. “That is good to hear. Now, I imagine your companion is still sleeping off the effects of his libations, yes?”

“Yeah. I really need to talk to him about that.”

The suited pony nodded. “Yes, I would imagine you would.”

“Nnnnnnnnnnngh,” a familiar voice complained from behind me.

I turned to see Erratic Key. “Oh, hey. Welcome back to the ranks of the living.”

High Roller rubbed his hooves together. “Now that I have the both of you here, please, come in.”

I gave Key a nervous look before heading in.

Moldy dark green carpet lined the floor, falling into depressions where the somehow not-two-hundred-year-old furniture sat. the walls were lined with shelves and drawers of good condition. Well, good for to hundred years, at least. Bad Stone stood on one corner of the room, in an effort to see everything going on, classic merc/trained professional style.

High Roller took a seat in a chair at one end of the room and crossed his forehooves. I idly noticed that this position put Bad Stone right behind us. “The artifact my client is seeking is none other than the fabled Crystal Heart. We have managed to track it down to somewhere here in Pittspur.” He reached behind himself and pulled a map from seemingly nowhere. “We believe it to be either here,” he pointed to the Multi-Ministry Tower, “here,” he pointed to the MAS Emergency Broadcast Tower, “or through here.” He pointed to an area on the map that I had marked on my own simply with a large “X” and a question mark. “Should you recover the artifact and bring it to me, my client is prepared to reward you with twenty-five thousand caps.”

My mouth dropped open. What would I even do with that much money?

Then he dropped the bombshell. “Each.”

My eyes widened and my ears shot forwards. He had my full attention.

Erratic Key seemed as eager as I was, if not more so. “What can you tell us about this ‘Crystal Heart?’ Anything that might make the search a little bit easier? What does it look like? How large is it? Do we need to know anything before we actually try to bring it back here? Also, the last area, what can you tell me about it?”

High Roller adjusted his tie. “My apologies, but that is all the information my client has at this moment. I’m afraid that you’ll have to search for the Heart on your own. That said, I do have something to give the both of you that might ensure your survival. He gestured to the adjoining room. “Cherry Twist, would you bring these fine gentlemen their presents?”

To my surprise, a bright yellow unicorn with a similarly vibrant red mane walked out, levitating what looked to be two sets of leather barding. Two unicorns in two days? That has to be some sort of record or something. She floated them towards us. “Thank you!” I took one and put it in my saddlebags to put on later.

The aura surrounding the other set of barding changed from dark to light blue as the unicorns exchanged grips. “I must say,” Erratic Key said, “this is some the finest looking stuff I’ve seen in a long time.”

“I’m glad you think so,” said High Roller. “My client had it hoofmade specifically for this purpose.”

I paused in my arranging of my saddlebags. No one simply “made” anything in the Wasteland. Either this mysterious client somehow lived outside the Wasteland, or he/she had access to some really rare Pre-War tech. I spaced out for a minute as I tried to imagine just what kind of person High Roller’s “client” was.

“Did they, now?” Erratic Key asked. “You’ll have to inform your client that I’m quite impressed.” he looked back over at the yellow unicorn. “Very impressed indeed.”

“Well then, will that be all?” I asked, shaking myself out of my trance.

High Roller nodded.

“In that case,” I said, “I have a very generous gift to put on. Once again Mr. Roller, thank you, and we will do our best to find the Heart for you.” My piece said, Erratic Key and I left the room.

As soon as we were out in the hall, the door behind us shut, Key turned to me. “You do realize that guy will betray the shit out of us as soon as we bring him what he wants?”

I nickered. “Oh, yeah. We’ll have to be ready for that. Going to be tough, though, considering that he apparently has some rather powerful connections.”

We began to walk back to our room, and Key continued talking: “The guy could be ponyshiting us. No real way to know until we actually find the Heart thing though. First things first, we need to get to the Stable. After that we can head over and check the two locations in the eastern part of Pittspur. If we still don’t find it then we can check the last location as we make our way back to the PMRF. Before that, though, we’ll need to buy the rest of our supplies and find out what it is Barrel needs us to do.” As we reached the bottom of the stairs, Erratic Key turned to me. “To save time, I’ll get our supplies and go make the trades. I’m better at that than you anyway. You head on down and talk to Barrel and see what she needs us to do.”

I nodded. “Sounds like a plan.” I pulled the lead pipe I had scavenged from the Raiders from my saddlebag and held it out to Erratic Key. “Think you can get anything for this?”

“No, but you can,” he said before bapping me on the head with a hoof.

“Ow!” I rubbed my head. “Okay, I get it.” I put the pipe back in my pack. “I’ll guess I’ll see you in a bit, then,” I said as I left.

I entered the bar and looked around, spotting Barrel behind the counter. I took the same seat as I had earlier and tapped the counter to get Barrel’s attention.

“Hi,” Barrel said. “What can I get you?”

“Hi Barrel.” I said. “I was actually hoping to ask you what it is you wanted me and Key to do. We kinda left without asking, and I feel bad about it; it just seems impolite to me.”

Barrel’s grin widened slightly. “Oh there’s plenty of things that I need help with, but I’ll start you two off on an easy one. In Downtown, there’s this a large impact crater that was made when the megaspells went off. There’s a whole lot of radiation out that way so I want you two to scout around and see what effect the presence of a large crater might have had on any wildlife.”

I scratched my head. “Wildlife? Pittspur is an urban environment. There’s not really much wildlife to be had aside from the Radsquirrels and crows.”

“Oh you’d be surprised,” Barrel said, nodding sagely. “After two hundred years, wildlife has a way of spreading out. Not to mention all the poor animals that were in the zoos in the city. One of the most dangerous places in the Pittspur is the Aviary. Though I don’t really mean animals, as much as other ponies. I want to know what ponies who live out in the wilderness know. See if there’s any useful tips they might know, you know.” Barrel chuckled a bit. “Just go out and learn what you can and,” Barrel glanced down for a moment. “make sure you come back and tell me.”

I reached out to put a comforting hoof on Barrel. “Hey, don’t worry. Key seems like he’s had a lot of experience out in the Wasteland. I’m pretty sure that as long as I follow his directions, I’ll be okay.” I joined Barrel in looking at the floor. “I hope,” I muttered.

“Oh I’m sure you two will be fine,” Barrel said with a laugh as she headed to the back of the bar. “Can I get you anything else before you go?”

I thought for a bit. Eh, what the hell. Not every day you get the opportunity... “I’ll have a rum and Nuka, if you have the fixings.”

“Make it two,” Erratic Key shouted from across the room.

“Two Rum and Nukas comin’ right up.” Barrel turned her back to us and began to prepare our drinks. Key slid into the seat on my right.

“So how goes it?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Not bad. Barrel wants us to check out that big crater in the middle of Downtown to see what kind of impact the Wasteland has had on the people and animals living around there.”

“Thank the Stars, I thought she was gonna ask us to bring back a Hellhound or some shit,” he said.

I cocked my head. “I noticed you’ve been swearing by the Stars a lot, Key. Not many ponies do that; it’s more of a zebra thing. Not to be rude, but what’s up with that?”

“You don’t want to know,” he said “It’s a pretty lo-”

“YOU TWO!” both of us turned around to see the silver mare in charge of security standing in the bar’s doorway point a hoof at us. “Both of you, entrance of the Residence right now!” She turned and left before either of us could get a word out.

“I- but... whuh?” I looked at Key. “What did you do?”

“Why is it you chose to blame me for this?” he asked. “You haven’t known me for two days, and you’re throwing accusations at me.” He stood up from his seat and began to exit the bar. “I won’t stand for it,” he said in a fake Trottingham accent as he left the bar, “good day sir.”

“Well fine, be that way.” I turned to Barrel. “Sorry, but it looks like something is happening. I’ll have to take a raincheck on that drink.” I flip-flopped back and forth before deciding to give her a quick hug. “See you later.” I made my way to the main door.

“What’s going on?” I heard Erratic Key ask the security mare as I trotted into a scene of tension I was unprepared for. What was probably the entire security force of the Residence, all seven of them, were pointing their battle saddles at the door, trigger bits in their mouths.

“What the fuck did you two bring here?!” the head mare asked. Her eyes were wide with fear, sending alarm bells ringing in my head. “There’s a Celestia-damned army outside asking for you two!”

I looked fearfully at Key. “What did you do!? I certainly had nothing to do with this! I’ve been living in the PMRF my entire life! WHAT DID YOU DO!?”

He looked coolly back at me “Exactly. You’ve been living in Pittspur far longer than I have. You’ve had plenty of time to piss off any number of people. Me? I just got here.” He turned back toward the security chief. “So....define army.”

“There’s six ponies out there right now!” She shrieked.

“Six hardly counts as an army,” Key scoffed.

“They're all just standing there. IN THE RAIN!”

“The fuck...” Key mumbled, but I was already staring wide-eyed out the window. Sure enough, there were six different ponies all standing at about thirty yards away. Each of them was draped in a long dark robe that covered their entire bodies. “I thought the rain was radioactive in Pittspur,” I heard Key ask.

“It is,” the chief answered.

I, on the other hoof, was having a bit of a hard time with the information my eyes were sending to my brain. “What in the hypothetical fuck!? How are they... they should be dead from...” I could feel my brain give up on trying to explain what I was seeing, so I simply resorted to gesturing with a hoof and flapping my mouth like a choking fish.

“What do they want?” Key asked.

“They just asked for the two ponies who arrived here earlier today,” Chief said.

“Well alright then,” he said. He approached and opened the double doors, allowing the pounding of the rain to echo throughout the lobby. “Hello!” he called, “I believe I was asked for.”

The one in the middle began to slowly walk closer. After about ten yards he stopped again. “You were the one responsible for the deaths of The Shaper’s chosen?”

“What the fuck is he talking about?” he asked, turning to me.

“I have absolutely no idea,” I said.

Erratic Key turned back to the pony in the street. “If you mean those three douchebags who tried to eat me and my friend, then yes. I killed them. Why?”

“The Shaper will not tolerate the rise of a rival or his servant. Leave now and you will not be bothered. If you chose to stay and seek the soul of hope you will die.” The mysterious pony turned and trotted back toward his five companions who began to back away into the downpour. “Do not enter the city,” he called out one final time, “Do not seek out light’s catalyst or you will be destoried.”

And with that he was gone.

Erratic Key turned to me, his mouth a wide “O” of surprise. “What the actual fuck?”

Achievements unlocked!

Rough welcome - Reach Pittspur

Double Header - Recruit your first companion

Ne’er-Do-Well - Achieve a negative status of Notorious or greater with one faction.

display erratic_key.csh
Erratic Key - Level 10 Unicorn

S:3
P:8
E:5
C:7
I:4
A:7
L:7

Tagged Skills: Lockpick, Survival, Melee - whenever you put a skill point into one of these skills, it is raised by two ranks.

Unicorn - As a Unicorn, you get +1 to Perception and Agility, but -1 to Endurance.

display data_disk.csh
Data Disk - Level 5 Earth Pony

S: 6
P: 3
E: 8
C: 4
I: 7
A: 4
L: 6

Tagged Skills: Medicine, Science, Repair - whenever you put a skill point into one of these skills, it is raised by two ranks.

Earth Pony - As an Earth Pony, you get +1 to Strength and Endurance, but -1 to Agility.

Author's Note

Erratic Key, Barrel, and other NPCs graciously played by Galvin Starlight.

Thanks to Derpmind for giving me a better name idea for the city, double thanks to Mimezinga for letting me build on Solaris, triple thanks to the Fallout: Equestria wiki and Nukapedia for helping me keep within acceptable canon, and of course an extra-special thanks to Kkat for creating the original and letting us all play in her sandbox!

If you want a PDF copy, check out the GoogleDocs version here!

Chapter 2: Discrepancy in the Past

I stared at the impossible sight before me, my jaw hanging slack. I thought I was knowledgeable about the ways of the world, or at least the nonviolent parts of it, but this, however, was so far out of my league that I couldn’t even see the stadium walls. I mean, ponies surviving more than a minute in the radioactive hell that was Pittspur rain?

I turned to Erratic Key. “We are in so deep here. I have no friggin’ idea how those ponies could even have been alive, much less what they were talking about. Who’s ‘the Shaper?’ What’s the ‘light’s catalyst?’” I moaned, sinking down to the floor and putting my forehooves over my head. “I knew leaving the PMRF was a bad idea…”

He took a deep breath. “Either way, we should definitely look into those guys. If they’ve got a way to survive out in fuckin’ radioactive rain, I want to know what it is.” And then came the stinger: “Besides, if you want any piece of Melody’s flank you need that cure. I still think that you should hook up with Barrel though.”

I felt my face flush once again. “Hey! Who I happen to be attracted to is none of your business!” I got to my hooves, Key’s mention of the strange ponies’ ability tickling something in the back of my head. “I want to know how they survived as well. Knowledge like that could save innumerable lives, not to mention the boon it could provide for Pittspur’s growth.” I felt my attention begin to drift. “Imagine it now: Hundreds, no thousands of people able to work in any kind of weather, radioactive or not.” I sighed. “That would be amazing...”

“Aaaaaaand you’re boring me, Disk,” Erratic Key interrupted. “Though I have to admit that would be very useful for moving around the city. Still don’t understand why anyone would actually want to stay here.” I looked back to him as he trotted closer. “How long do you think the rain will keep up? We need to get out of here as soon as possible.”

I shrugged. “Pittspur weather tends to be really temperamental. Could be anywhere from five minutes to five hours.” As if on queue, the rain slackened, becoming a drizzle. “Like I said, temperamental.”

Erratic Key gave me a half-suspicious look. “Well isn’t that convenient. We should make sure we’ve got everything we need before we leave. If you need to say goodbye to anyone,” He raised an eyebrow, inclining his head towards me. “Anyone at all.... now would be the time. Once the rain’s gone, we’ll need to get moving. We’ll want to stay under shelter for as long as we can in case the rain returns. Not to mention the ground’s still probably a bit covered in radioactive water..”

I nodded. “Yeah, the sooner we get moving on this, the better.” I glanced around. “I’m going to, uh... yeah. I’ll be... over there.” I gestured behind myself as I headed back to Barrel’s bar. As I was walking, I began to think about what Key had been saying. Yeah, I had been crushing on Healing Medley for the longest time, but what did I really have in common with her? We were both Followers, but that was about it. She was medically-trained, and I worked with machines. On the other hoof, I had only just met Barrel, but something about her made me want to get to know her better. What did we even have in common? I thought for a bit. As far as I could tell, next to nothing. I stopped walking. Then again, she seemed like a sweet mare, unlike Medley, who had the temper of sandpaper. I sighed. Confound these ponies! They drive me to introspection! I began walking again, slightly befuddled with myself.

I entered the bar and sat in the seat I had occupied previously. Barrel was there, looking straight at me. “Hey, Barrel. How’s it going?”

“Oh, are you back already?” Barrel asked, a smile springing to her face. “I thought you two had already left.”

“Well, we were, but then we had a rather interesting encounter.” I filled Barrel in about the ponies in the rain. “Neither Key nor I have any idea how they weren’t dead. We’re planning to try and investigate. I don’t suppose you have any leads?”

“No idea,” Barrel said, her eyes beginning to glaze over as she became lost in thought, an all-too-familiar state for me. “Just think of what we could do if we could go outside whenever we wanted! We could do so much more and even spread out. I could get more customers and learn so much more!” Barrel began hopping back and forth from hoof to hoof, giddy with anticipation.

“I know, right? I said as much to Key, but he didn’t seem to care.” Huh. maybe we have more in common than I thought.

“Do you think you could find out what let them stay out in the rain like that?” Barrel asked, turning to face me. Her eyes were practically glowing with a foal-like glee as her forehooves came to rest on mine.

I patted one of her hooves with mine. “I don’t know, Barrel, but we’ll sure as heck will try.” I stared off into the mid-distance, my mind percolating with ideas. “We’ll try.”

“Well that’s all any of us can really do isn’t it?” Barrel asked with a smile, placing her hooves back on the ground. “So when exactly are you boys planning on heading out?”

“Tomorrow. Hopefully by then the rain will have stopped all together. I don’t suppose you have any advice as to what to be on the lookout for once we’re in Downtown?”

“The rain’s the most dangerous thing that anyone here knows about,” Barrel said. “If you hear the siren, find shelter and try to hunker down. One of the worst things that can happen is getting into a cover war, with rain already pouring down. Not many ponies know at all what it’s like in the middle of the city, but every once in awhile we get people coming in talking about some of the strangest things. Like, monsters made out of a whole bunch of different ponies! Most of the people we get in saying that are little off their rocker, but you never know. Aside from that, I’ve never actually been in the inner city myself, so I’m afraid you boys are on your own.”

I pursed my lips. That didn’t exactly sound encouraging. “Well, thanks a lot. Hopefully we’ll make it back in one piece.” I forced a grin, but I’m sure the barmare didn’t believe it. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning, then.”

As I made my way back to the room, the sense of dread I had felt when receiving Barrel’s information increased as I was able to think over it, and the more I thought about it, the more it became clear that Erratic Key and I, or at least just me, had very little chance of surviving this little excursion. The thought made my stomach churn.

When I at last made my way back to the room, I found Erratic Key asleep on the bed. I sighed. You snooze, you lose, Disk. Or not snooze, I guess. I made my way to the couch and soon found myself drifting off to sleep in spite of my overactive mind.

////==////

I opened my eyes. I was no longer in the Residence. My surroundings were unfamiliar to me: a flat plane of concrete as far as I could see, yet I knew somehow that I was still in Pittspur. My saddlebags were nowhere to be found, and I couldn’t find my beam pistol.

“Well, well, well,” said Healing Medley. “What do we have here? The little birdie trying to leave the nest?”

I stepped back. She was speaking Equestrian, and I heard her, but she wasn’t making sense. I could tell that whatever she was saying was not friendly.

The pink mare stepped forward, brandishing a pair of shears in her mouth. “Come on, little birdie. We need to give you a little trim.”

I leapt backwards, my wings helping me distance myself from the once-friendly pony. “Stay back!” I shouted. “I know ponies!”

A dry chuckle from behind me made me turn. Lying on the ground was Erratic Key, or at least what used to be him. He was barely recognizable, his body mutilated by slashing wounds and his horn a mere stump. Only his Cutie Mark was intact, the broken key seeming to glint in the invisible sunlight. Medley advanced towards me undeterred, the blood on the shears in her mouth glinting ominously. “Do you really?” she asked, her voice low, almost sultry. She slashed her head forwards in a sudden strike, and the blade bit deep into my neck.

////==////

My eyes shot open and my chest was heaving as I drew panicked breaths. I was still in the Residence; the cloud-filtered moonlight reaffirmed that. I closed my eyes once more and tried to will myself to calm down. Eventually, though I didn’t notice it, I fell asleep again.

I don’t remember what I dreamed about.

////==////

It was on our way to The Crossing when it happened. Erratic Key and I were just walking down the street, minding our own business, when two Raiders started towards us. The first was a large mare with a coat the color of sour milk in heavy metal barding. I could see by the way she was jittering that she was riding high on the wings of Dash. Probably some other chems as well, knowing the Raiders. The other one was a more normal-sized stallion, his coat an emerald green, mottled by patches of exposed skin. I had seen this before: a combination of Dash, Buck, and radiation. Probably only had a week before he shed everything but his Cutie Mark.

The mare stepped forward. “Well well well, lookee what we got here. A motherfuckin’ unicorn. He look like th’ one we was talked about, Jive?”

The smaller one squinted his head at Key. “Hey, yeah. But ain’t we supposed to not kill ‘im? Th’ Speaker said-”

He was cut off by a vicious backhoof from the armored mare. “Look Jive, I’m goin’ to be comin’ down soon, and I’ll be damned if I let these fuckers get away. They’re the ones what killed th’ scout party, remember?”

I looked worriedly at Key. “Another fight?” I muttered at him.

“Just a moment,” he said to me, turning to face the Raiders with a massive shit-eating grin on his face. “Helllllllllloooooooooo,” he called out, affecting an incredibly fake Trottingham accent. “I hate to interrupt such a debate of two intellectual minds, but I believe I heard some mention of me.”

The big mare glared at Key. “Yeah, what of it?”

“Well,” he continued, “if the two of you are discussing me, me happens to be right here. So I suppose what I am saying is that me would like to join in on your conversation about myself.”

The mare blinked. “What?”

“Oh my apologies,” Erratic Key said, bowing his head. “I was simply trying to be polite and speak the native tongue. I thought it was rather rude to use proper pronouns in company that could not. When in Roam as they say.”

The mare glared at Key. “Th’ fuck you talkin’ about?” She glanced at Jive. “Th’ fuck he talkin’ about?”

I arched an eyebrow. Why haven’t they started shooting yet? Isn’t that what Raiders do, shoot first and then talk? I then realized what Key was doing: he was trying to piss them off. Angry people made mistakes, and in the Wasteland, one mistake could be the difference between life and death (Wasteland Survival Guide, page 12).

The smaller stallion shrugged. “Hell if I know. Sounds more like th’ kind of shit Teach likes to go on about.”

I gulped. Right. This was the Wasteland: I knew I’d have to take a life sooner or later. I never actually wanted to, mind you, but I knew it was a fact sure enough as I knew the sky was gray. I glanced again at Jive, who was in a heated argument with the mare. He looked pretty bad. Knowing the Raiders, there was no way he’d ever get proper medical treatment. If I killed him, he wouldn’t be suffering any more, right? So killing him would be almost like a mercy.

Careful there, Disk. That’s how mass murderers start.

I exhaled slowly through my nose and drew my beam pistol in preparation for the inevitable fight.

“Oh,” he laughed as he placed a hoof to his mouth. “Oh ho ho ho ho. My apologies, good ponies. You must forgive me as I had originally thought that you,” he pointed to the large armored mare, “were a Hellhound! Silly me. You know, I was wondering how the green one was able to snag a bitch without being torn apart. Glad I don’t have to kill a badass like that,” he said with a chuckle before letting out a long sigh. he glanced over at the mare, who was absolutely fuming.

“It’s the chin by the way,” he said, gesturing to his face, “that’s what threw me off at first.”

The mare narrowed her eyes and glared death at Key. “I. Ain’t. Nopony’s. Bitch.” She drew a strange-looking weapon that looked like it was some unholy combination of a pool cue, a sledgehammer, and a box of nails. With an inequine scream, she charged.

I could feel the smug coming off Erratic Key as he dodged the clumsy attack, the nail-riddled head of the mare’s weapon missing Key's face as he drew his sword and counterattacked, nicking the tip of the milky mare’s ear. He leapt backwards to dodge another swing, carrying the fight away from me

While Key and the Raider were having their melee duel, I noticed that Jive had pulled a hunting rifle out and was carefully (for a Raider, at least) lining up a shot at my travelling partner. I darted behind a nearby overturned skywagon and steadied my beam pistol across the top. I aimed at the Raider, but I still couldn’t bring myself to pull the trigger.

Come on Disk, what are you waiting for? You already decided that this would be a kindness, so pull the trigger!

I closed my eyes.

Forgive me...

I pulled the trigger.

SPAK

To nopony’s surprise but my own, the shot went wide, striking a bit of building above the riflepony’s head. This caused his attention to shift to me, however.

Oh, son of a-

My next thought was cut off when a bullet from the Raider’s rifle impacted my barding. The weapon must have been in worse condition than I thought, but it was enough to knock the wind right out of me. As I lay there on the ground gasping, I tried to collect myself. However, my recovery was interrupted by the sudden appearance of a set of green legs. I looked up, and Jive pressed the end of his rifle’s barrel against my forehead. my pulse shoot up, and I began to sweat furiously.

Jive smirked. “Look at you. Just lyin’ here like a bitch. You gonna mess yourself, bitch?”

I couldn’t do anything but continue to panic.

“That’s what I thought. Now if you don’t got anything to-”

SPAK

As the beam lanced from my pistol, time seemed to slow. I could see Jive’s eyes widen as the beam impacted his snout, and his mouth begin to open in a scream as the disintegrating magic went to work, transforming the once-living pony into so much dead sparkling ash.

I spat out my pistol and leaned the other way as I evacuated the contents of my stomach onto the street.

Oh Sisters, forgive me. There wasn’t anything else I could do. ..

I wiped off my mouth and picked up my pistol. I turned my attention to Key's fight. The mare was pretty big, but magical energy weapons didn’t care about that. I aimed down the sight at her.

Can you do that, Disk? Can you kill twice?

I tried following the mare’s movements with my pistol, but Erratic Key kept moving. If I shot, I would more than likely hit him instead of the Raider.

No, best to let him fight this one out.

I returned my attention to the battle between Erratic Key and the Raider pony, feeling helpless. Key spared a glance in my direction, but his attention was brought back to the battle as he parried yet another blow. Unicorn telekinesis was a mystery to me, but it looked like Erratic Key was struggling, judging by the sweat pouring from his brow. The light blue aura surrounding his makeshift blade was faltering, and went out entirely as he blocked a particularly vicious strike from the Raider. The blade flew into the ground, quivering as Key fell onto his back.

Something inside me began to simmer, not entirely unlike the day before when we had our last Raider encounter.

What the hell is Key playing at? He can take this mare on by himself!

That’s the point. He wants you to do it.

Fat chance.

He looked upwards, a mask of panic written large across his face. “No,” he pleaded, “Please... I-I was just joking. You need to take me alive remember? Alive!”

“Alive,” the Raider said. “Not whole.”

Whatever it was inside me boiled over. I once again grabbed my pistol, took aim, and fired.

SPAK

The beam struck a solid hit on the mare’s armored flank, but she seemed to not notice. I fired again.

SPAK

Another hit to the armor. This one seemed to stagger her a bit, causing to turn her attention to me. I fired a third time.

SPAK

A direct hit to the chest. The mare fell forward and tried to get up.

SPAK

She didn’t get up.

SPAK

A hole appeared in her head.

SPAK

Her body disappeared in a flash of disintegration magic, leaving behind only ash.

I dropped my pistol and stood there, panting.

Erratic Key stood and walked to me, saying something, but my mind was elsewhere.

That’s two, Disk. You’re on a roll.

Shut up. She was going to kill Key! I had no choice!

I never said it was a bad thing.

Of course it’s a bad thing! I just killed somepony! Ended their life!

Yeah, a miserable one. Besides, what kind of life is a Raider’s? All they do is eat, sleep, and rape. Good riddance, I say.

I had no answer to that.

You realize that you just lost an argument with yourself, right?

Shut up.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. “I... I don’t believe it. I just killed somepony. Two someponies.” I turned to Erratic Key before he could jump in. “I remember what you said earlier, but still... it’s the difference between hearing about it and actually witnessing it firsthoof.” I stared into the middle distance. “How do you deal with it? Knowing you killed another living, sapient being?”

“You don’t make a big fucking deal out of it,” he retorted. “You sit with the fact that they would have killed you and you get on with your life. If you sit, wail, and whine about every single spider you stepped on, you wouldn’t get anywhere, would you?” he made my way over toward the pile of ashes that was once an armor-wearing mare. “Besides,” he said, “You need to save your guilt for when you need you need it.”

He’s right.

I mentally bucked myself and joined him at the pile of ashes. I wordlessly reached down and carefully picked the mare’s strange weapon out of the pile and put it in my saddlebags, spitting out a few flakes of ashes that had been on the handle. I turned in the direction of The Crossing. “Let’s get out of here. I’ve had enough of this fucking alley for one day.”

////==////

The Crossing was little more than a shack on the bank of the Alligummy River that was owned by one Leaden Boat, who owned, yes, a lead-lined boat. Seeing as his was the only viable way across the river, he made quite a pretty bit off charging people for transport.

As we neared the shack, I held out a hoof. “Hold on; this guy can get pretty grumpy. Let me talk to him.”

“Sure, go ahead,”Erratic Key said, voice dripping with sarcasm,. “You already killed two drugged-up bandits. You're a big colt now. Why, before long you’ll have conquered the Wasteland through both your fierce savagery and cunning silver tongue.” He bowed mockingly and gestured towards the shack. “Please, go right ahead.”

I considered this for a moment and quickly realized that once again, I was not being a clever pony. “Uh... right. You go ahead. I’ll just, uh… I’ll just follow you.”

“You are learning aren’t you,”Key said, smirking. “Daddy is so proud,” he pretended to wipe away a tear from his face before making his way over to the shack, giving the door three solid knocks..

The door opened a crack and a gray eye peeked out. “Yeah? Whadda you want?”

“You the boat colt?” Erratic Key asked, though it was more of a statement of fact. “How much for passage for two?” he motioned back with his head towards me.

The gray stallion looked between Key and myself. “Hundred ‘n fifty.” He took another look at the unicorn. “Each.”

“You’ll get a hundred.” Erratic Key replied. “Total.”

Leaden Boat huffed. “Hope you know how to swim, then, ‘cause you ain’t gettin’ across for less.”

“Is that so?” Erratic Key asked. “Tell me then, just how radioactive is this river? Like if I jumped in, how far do you think I would get until the tumors grew until my body completely exploded?”

The other stallion raised an eyebrow. “You’re kidding. You’re kidding, right? That’s... that’s suicide.” He took a long look at Erratic Key. “No, you’re not kidding, are you? Well, accordin’ to the folks down at that sciency place, you’d die in five seconds.”

“I see,” Key said, turning to look out across the river. “So this is the only way across the river then?”

“Yup.”

“So tell me,” he said said turning back the door, “how much tourism money does Pittspur rake in annually?” Key nonchalantly looked at his hoof.

Leaden Boat frowned. “Look, buddy. I can see what you’re trying to do here, but it’s not gonna work. If you want to get to the other side of the river, it’s a hundred fifty per passenger. That’s my rate, and I’m stickin’ to it.” He slammed the door closed, causing the wall of the shack to shake slightly.

Key dragged an annoyed hoof across his face. “Fine. Done. Just get us across.”

The stallion opened the door once more, a grin on his face. He held out a hoof. “I’m glad we could come to an agreement. Like I said, that will be three hundred caps for the two of you.”

Key glared at the boatpony, his expression laced with venom as he paid the gray stallion. “There,” he said bitterly. “Now if we can kindly get underway?”

“Certainly! Just let me get my nautical things.” The stallion once again closed the door, and a few loud rattles emanated from the closed door before it was pulled open again. The bargekeeper had on, of all things, what looked like an old scuba mask, complete with snorkel.

I cocked an eyebrow at the pony’s getup. “Uh... you’re not... swimming, are you?”

“Of course not! This is just in case.”

My eyebrows switched positions. “In case of what?”

“Just hope you don’t have to find out.”

I blinked.

Riiiiight.

Leaden Boat trotted over to a winch and placed his forehooves on it. “If one of you could give me a hoof?”

I moved to match the bargepony’s stance. “So, forgive me if this comes off as rude, but… what’s with the snorkel? You do know that river will kill you, right?”

The other pony nodded as he began pushing on the winch. “Yeh, I know. Just let me have this one thing, okay? We all have our security blankets. This one is mine.”

“You know, most ponies I’ve met do have security blankets. Except most of them can put very large, or a very large amount of holes in some else’s security blanket. Or the person holding that blanket,” Erratic Key said offhoofedly.

“We all do what we have to do to get by. I run a ferry. If it just so happens that it’s the only way across from Uptown to Downtown, then so be it. But if something happens to that ferry, that’s all I know. And if all I know is gone, what’s left for me in this Wasteland? Figure if I’m goin’ to go out, I’m goin’ out with some flair.” He glanced at a small box with M.W.T. warning stickers all over it. “Heh. Or flares, as the case may be.”

“Whatever keeps you sane old timer.” Key turned to look across the river. “Whatever keeps you sane.”

The stallion said nothing, but continued to work at the crank. Soon enough, a very heavy-looking barge floated into view, attached to the chain. “The 9:30 ferry to Downtown has arrived. All passengers, please board the vehicle as quickly as possible. Thank you.”

I had no clue who the boatpony was talking to, but at this point, I just wanted to be out of there so badly it didn’t matter to me. I hurried onto the barge and almost immediately fell over a raised portion of the floor.

“Passengers are reminded to watch their step, as parts of the barge may be under repair.”

I sighed, pushed myself to my hooves, and walked over to a bench, where I sat down.

From where I was seated, I could see Leaden Boat carefully step over the spot I had tripped over and make his way to what I assumed to be the pilot’s chair. That’s what the person who drives the boat is called, right? I mentally shrugged in response to myself as Key took a spot next to me.

There was a lurch, and with an annoyingly rusty sound, we began to move.

“So how many people do you actually take across?” Erratic Key asked, looking once again over the river’s surface before returning to his earlier position, a disgusted look on his face.

“Eh, it depends on the season. In the winter, not a whole lot, you know, due to the snow and all. I sometimes get one or two crazy bastards, but that’s it. Never see them, again, of course, but then again, I don’t often get repeat customers. Usually they have something that needs getting done in Uptown, usually at the Facility, but those that go to Downtown...” He sighed. “Kinda makes you pity the loss, you know?”

“Snow?” Key asked. “What the fuck is snow?”

I decided to step in, quoting from a local survival guide I had tried to write once. “‘Historically, snow was created during the winter by the pegasi. Its actual purpose was unknown. Now, however, since the pegasi no longer take control of the weather, there are times in the year when it gets colder, and what would normally be rain falls to the ground as frozen water, or snow. However, it is still highly radioactive in this state, so going outdoors is highly inadvisable.’” I could feel the boat commander’s stare through the back of my head. “What? I live in the PMRF. We learn things there.”

Key stared incredulously at me. “First off, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? There hasn’t been change since the pegasi left. We don’t have seasonal changes anymore! How the fuck does it change here? What makes it colder? You think that kinda shit just happens? You think the world just fucking goes by, without anyone making it happen? Second of all, how the fuck does anyone live here? Radioactive rain is one thing, but that shit being frozen! What the fuck!”

I shrugged. “We’ve tried to figure it out, but we have no idea. It just kind of happens.”

“Son of a fuck,” he said, smacking his forehead with a forehoof. “So when is the next snow supposed to happen? Like how often does winter come along?”

I shrugged again. “Meteorological prognostication isn’t really an earth pony thing, and what few unicorns have passed through the PMRF had no idea either. It doesn’t happen very often, luckily. When it does happen, though,. it usually happens near the end of the year, so I’d say we have a few months before we have to worry.”

“Use big words on me like that again, Disk, and I will fucking throw you into this river.”

I scooted away from Erratic Key. “Right. I’ll, uh, keep that in mind...”

The rest of the trip went by in an uncomfortable silence after that.

THUNK

“We have arrived at our destination. All passengers, please disembark in an orderly manner. Thank you for choosing Leaden Boat for all your river-crossing needs, and we hope to see you again in the off chance you don’t die a horrible death.”

I mentally facehooved and led the way off the barge, being careful to not trip over the lump in the floor where I assumed the chain connected to whatever mechanism pulled the boat from shore to shore. The shore we arrived at looked very similar to the one we were standing on not ten minutes prior, save for the husks of burnt-out skyscrapers that lined the similarly-destroyed streets. In the distance, the miraculously still-standing shape of the Solaris building could be seen towering over the rubble. A shack almost identical to the one that was on the other shore sat on my left; I assumed that Leaden Boat maintained two living places. There were a few picnic tables nearby, and I spread my map out on one of them.

“Right. So, we’re here,” I tapped at the appropriate spot, “And we have a few objectives: Scouting out the crater for Barrel, finding the Crystal Heart for High Roller, and plumbing the depths of Stable 25 for... well, everyone, really, but Healing Medley runs the project.” I turned to Erratic Key. “Which one do you think we should head for first?”

Erratic Key stared at the map, contemplating our next move. “We’ll start with Barrel’s crater. It doesn't require us to actually do anything except go out and scout around. After that we’ll head to Stable 25. Then we’ll make our way over to the Ministry Tower and the MASEBT respectively. If we still don’t have what we’re looking for, we’ll head to that last location. As we go, we should keep our ears open for anything of interest. No telling what you can learn out in the Wasteland.”

I nodded and stored the map back in my saddlebag. “Sounds like a plan.” I gestured in the general direction of the crater. “Shall we?”

////==////

Gunfire rang out, and I darted behind a nearby corner. “Sorry!” I shouted to Erratic Key. “I really thought the shop was empty!”

“Never assume anything!” Key shouted back, dropping to the ground and hiding in the gutter of the street.

I drew my beam pistol and carefully peeked around the corner, drawing back as a bullet hit the wall next to me. “I said I was sorry!”

“Now is not the time!” Key shouted back, drawing his blade.

It had started innocently enough: we had been travelling down one of Downtown’s innumerable alleys when Key spotted a general store. I couldn’t tell what the name of the store was, as the name had been worn off by the passage of time, and the windows were all boarded up, their shattered glass spilled onto the street and scattered like so many motes of dust. To my Wasteland-inexperienced eyes, it looked like the perfect place to do some scavenging and foolishly rushed into the shop. Of course, Raiders being Raiders, they had decided to “redecorate” the inside with the entrails of one of their unfortunate victims.

I had had just enough fortitude to get out of there before they started using the door as cover to take pot shots at me. From what I could tell, there weren’t very many of them; probably four, and judging from the way they had to reload after each shot, I imagined they were using rifles of some kind.

Back in the present, I glanced over at Key. “What do we do?”

He didn’t answer, preferring instead to concentrate on the shop where the Raiders were bunkered, likely leaning against one another in order to shoot at us at the same time. Without warning, both the handle of the door and Key's horn glowed light blue and the door swung forward, dumping one of the Raiders on the ground. I winced as he fell, and winced again as the door slammed into the others, knocking them back into the store.

I saw Key charge towards the Raider on the street, who looked a bit dazed as he picked up his rifle. I attempted to shoot him, but my shot went wide and buried itself in the shell of a street light.

As he neared the fallen Raider, Key scooped up a hooffull of glass shards and flung them into the other pony’s face. The Raider recoiled as if hit with an invisible hoof and flailed at the air, his eyes clenched shut, unaware of the tragedy that was about to befall him. I turned away; I couldn’t watch.

Unfortunately, I could still hear.

The Raider screamed.

There was a stomach-churning sound.

The Raider was silent.

I hazarded a glance towards my travelling companion and almost immediately regretted it as I saw the Raider’s blood spray out at high velocity. As I watched, Key grabbed the corpse with his hooves as the door, moldy with age and rain, sagged inwards under the glow of Key's magic. I couldn’t tell from my angle, but the Raiders on the other side of the door were probably rather surprised at this sudden development.

Erratic Key threw the Raider bodily into the store, his rifle clattering onto the street. I ran forward and grabbed it, holstering my own weapon in the process, then dashed into the store. I didn’t see the pony with the blade through her skull, and I certainly didn’t see the pony rolling on the ground in agony with a large piece of glass through his jaw. I did, however, see the pony who was trying to attack Key with a fire axe. I aimed the rifle, clumsy with its unfamiliar design, and fired.

BANG

For once, I got lucky and my bullet struck true. The pony’s head exploded into bits, and I dropped the gun as the recoil shook my jaw. I heard it clatter off into some corner somewhere.

I heard the sounds of squishy melee combat behind me and did my best to concentrate on the one square inch of floor in front of me that was not covered in blood. “If I turn around, am I going to regret it?” I asked over my shoulder when the fighting had finished.

“Off the streets, now,” was Key’s only reply, his voice tense. “Where do we go?”

I checked my map. “It looks like we should be somewhere on 6th Avenue. To get to the crater, we’ll have to head east, and the most direct route would be... uh...” I stared at the map, the roads forming a spider web of cris-crossing paths. “It looks like there really isn’t a direct route. Maybe the underground train is more direct? I don’t know; I’ve never been there.”

////==////

A few minutes later found the both of us in the bowels of an abandoned subway station, Key pacing back and forth in front of me, trying to wipe off the bits of Raider from his coat with a hoof. “Alright, if either of us are going to survive out here, it’s obvious I’m going to have to teach you how to fight. First things first,” He gestured around us with a forehoof. “I want you to look around. What do you see?”

I did as asked. Piles of rubble were scattered about the room, illuminated by what little light filtered down the stairs leading to the world above, giving everything a sickly blueish-green tint. Skeletons of ponies past littered the floor, with a larger congregation close to the edge of the boarding platform. I could only assume they were commuters on their way to or from work. I knew they were long dead, but I still felt a slight twinge in my chest for them. The air was thick with the smell of mold and rust; in the distance I could hear the faint dripping of water. “A whole lot of wasted potential.” I sighed. “But that’s probably not what you’re looking for, is it?”

“Well, you’re certainly not very far off,” Key said, surprising me. He turned to look at the remains of the subway system. “Some ponies might see a tunnel, or perhaps a long hall of wasted junk, or wasted potential, but if you look close enough at anything, you’ll notice one thing: ponies. Every building in this city, every structure built, was made by ponies.” He turned back to face me. “Now what does this tell you about ponies?”

I tapped my chin in thought. “I can think of several things, but I doubt any of them are what you’re thinking of.”

Key sighed. “Come on, Disk. It’s no fun if you don’t play the game. Besides, these roundabout ways of telling you stuff make me feel smart. Be a pal and guess.”

I rolled my eyes. “Ugh, fine. Uh... the city was heavily populated?”

Key tilted his head back and forth, evaluating my answer. “Well yes, but what I mean is what does it tell you about ponies? As in you and me and everyone else? Since this one is a little hard, I’ll ask you another question.” He held his hoof up to my face. “Look at this. What does it tell you about me? What does it tell you about yourself? What does it say about all ponies everywhere?”

I took a look at Key's hoof, trying to discern what it is he wanted me to see. It looked like a hoof that could belong to anypony who had traveled the Wasteland long enough: slightly cracked with numerous minor cuts and bruises along the frog. “Uh... non-unicorns have a hard time holding things?”

“Exactly,” he replied, eliciting a baffled expression from me. “Before you can actually learn to fight, you need to know what happens in a fight, and the first place to start is what happens to you in a fight.”

I tilted my head in confusion. “What does that have to do with your hoof?”

“What is a hoof, Data Disk? What is a claw? What is a paw? What are all these things to each other? Look at yourself, Disk. You are a pony. You are designed to, in a situation of crisis, perform one action: run.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Okay...”

“In a fight, certain instincts kick in, and certain things happen to you. One of the first things to happen when the first shot is fired is that everything stops. These are your natural instincts kicking in. The flight or fight moment, where you would normally determine whether or not the best action to do is to run the fuck away, or try to stay and fight whatever it is that’s threatening you. Based on the fact that ponies are mostly suited to being able to gallop long distances, which instinct do you think is going to be stronger?”

This was getting closer to familiar territory. “Flight, I would imagine.”

“You would imagine correctly. But for now let’s focus on the moment of deciding action. This moment typically occurs as soon as you sense danger. It’s usually auditory in nature, like a gunshot being fired, or the scream of a raving bandit. But stay out here long enough and the simple sight of another pony can set it off. Anyway, it’s during this moment that time seems to stop. Typically, perception is heightened to an unrivaled level. You’ll pick out certain details which better help you decide to run or fight. However, the details that are picked out can completely destroy anything else in the scene. For instance, if a pony walks into a store and starts shooting the place up, everypony will be able to tell you every detail about the gun that was used. Any scratches, marks, or sort of stand-outish details on the weapon will stick the person’s mind. No one, however, will tell you that the guy was wearing a hat.”

I sat, winced, moved the bone I had sat on out of the way, and sat again. “Sounds familiar enough. I remember Asclepius Staff talking about that a few times back at the PMRF.”

“Mm-hm,” Key said, nodding. “One of the things you need to work on is getting as much detail as you possibly can during this moment. Look around everywhere for anything you can use, because your eyes are your best friends during that split second, and after the moment of clarity comes the absolute shit storm of reflexive reaction. Once you’ve chosen to actually do something, your adrenaline is going to kick in and shit will go crazy. You ever hear about someone talking about how something traumatic ‘happened so fast’?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Plenty of times. You get put on clinic duty enough and you see all kinds come through.”

“It’s because people are acting on basic instinct. All their reactions are shortcutting through their thought process because they’re acting entirely on reflex at this point. This when combat gets hectic, and nothing can prepare you for it. One of the hardest things to do is keep your cool under pressure and actually think about what you want to do, because, and this is where being a pony sucks, ninety-nine percent of the time, you. Will want. To run. And I don’t care how fast you are, no one outruns a bullet. Now let me see your weapon.”

I pulled my beam pistol from its holster and set it on the ground in front of me. “Here you go. I swear, if you break this...”

My fears were unfounded, though, as Key levitated the pistol up and started slowly turning it around. “I want you to describe this weapon. Any details at all.”

I thought for a bit. “Well, it’s a standard beam pistol, so it’s pretty much a box on a stick. You’ve got a weird X-shaped series of ridges on the front; that’s the emitter. On the top is a pair of fins that act as sights, and on the back you have the arcane regulator knob as well as the slot for spark batteries. Then along the bottom you have the actual mouthgrip, since this is a non-unicorn model. That bit looks like a little U with another one inside of it.”

Erratic Key spun the weapon around so that I was almost gripping it in my teeth. “Look down the sight. Now what do you see?”

“I see... your face?”

“Yes, I suppose you do. But more importantly...” without any other warning, Key flipped the gun around so it was pointed at me, causing me to flinch away. “When you hold a gun in front of you, what do you do?”

I eyed Key nervously. What is he doing?. “You close one eye.”

Key nodded. “Correct again. In aiming, you have to hold an eye closed to see properly. This fucks with pony physiology in ways you don’t even know.” the beam pistol floated back to a more neutral position between the two of us, and I relaxed a bit. “Ponies’ eyes are located on the sides of our heads; its gives us more peripheral vision, allowing us to take in more and be aware of what’s around us. In aiming a gun, you stop doing this, and your eyes become predatory. You're looking at something you intend to kill: your prey. And when you pull the trigger... well, ponies aren’t exactly meant to see the insides of anything. The effect that this has is that, when you close that eye, your visual reception goes up the wazoo. you can make out more detail, you see more, it seems to happen slower, and then every kill you make comes back to you in a higher than normal quality. This, along with the physiological implications of a species designed to run from fights killing something, is what tends to break a lot of people. They just can’t handle it. Killing someone else is one of the most crystal clear moments that ponies often experience, often because the memory is so easy to remember. Its just another reason why the act of killing will initially stick in your mind for a long time.”

“Okay, so how is this teaching me how to fight? I mean, don’t get me wrong, this is fascinating stuff, but it’s probably not going to do anything for the nightmares I’m inevitably going to have tonight.”

“You have to actually know what you're getting into before you can do anything about it. Ponies aren’t meant to fight. So when you get into one, you have to go against almost every instinct you have. You have to fight your very own nature to stay alive sometimes. Learning to fight isn’t all about aiming a gun, it’s about keeping your head, staying calm, and never running out into the open while shots are being fired. Understand?”

“Aha.” I nodded, slower this time. “Yes. I think I see where you’re going with this.”

“Good,” Key said, nodding in return. “Now once you understand what happens in combat, you can start learning how to control combat.” My pistol still floating in midair, Key levitated the dud grenade from his saddlebag. “You remember this guy?”

I let out a humorless chuckle. “Kind of hard to forget, actually.”

“True. Most ponies who live long enough to get in several firefight know to stay in cover where you can’t hit them. This little guy, however, tends to get rid of any notions of staying in one place. It basically overloads a pony’s natrual want to run, because it's a fucking grenade. Combat control is the most essential skill a pony can have. You can be the fastest draw, or the best shot, but if you don’t know how to get yourself out of every situation, then you’re going to die. Get it?”

I nodded firmly. “Got it.”

“Good.” Erratic Key levitated my gun back into its holster.. “We shouldn’t stay in one place too long. Let’s get moving.”

“Right.” I stood up and brushed myself off. “If I remember my map correctly, the crater should be eastish of here. Of course, there aren’t any direct roads, but...” I looked down the tunnel. The husk of a train sat against one wall. It made the passage narrow, but not impassable. Past the bend I could see nothing but darkness. “I suppose the subway might be a bit more direct, but without any source of light there’s no way we’re getting through there alive.”

“Why? What kind of stuff does Pittspur have in its subway tunnels?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know, but there’s not really much light down there. If we get attacked by anything...” I left the sentence dangling in the air like a falling dust mote..

Key smirked, his horn beginning to glow with enough light to cast the discoloration from the station.. “You're not familiar with unicorns are you?”

I scratched the back of my neck in embarrassment. “Not really, no. The only other unicorn I’ve met was Asclepius Staff, and, well...” I stared at the ground. “Yeah.”

Erratic Key’s muzzle split open in a massive grin. “Oh this is gonna be fun. If the dark is all we have to worry about then we’ve got that covered. But do you know of anything in living in these stories?”

I gulped, wary of my companion’s sudden change in demeanor. “Uh... what stories?”

“Oh you know,” he said waving a forehoof nonchalantly, “the stories you hear about the horrific feral ghouls living in the sewers. The mutated monsters, and horrific creatures that dwell within the dark. Anything like that around here?”

I took an instinctive step back. “Well, uh... no. Not really, no. But they’re probably still really dangerous!” I could feel my legs starting to wobble a bit as I spoke.

“More so than the surface?”

“Erm...” I shifted my gaze uneasily between Key and the maw of the tunnel. “Well... to be perfectly honest, I don’t know. I just... have this feeling.”

“Where exactly do these tunnels lead?” Key asked, angling his head to shine a beam of light down the tunnel.

The sudden brightness made me wince and shield my eyes with a forehoof. I glanced at where Key's spell was pointing, but all I could see was a piece of wall, darkened with decay and crumbling with age. I pulled out my map again. “I don’t know. Judging by the pattern of the stations, it looks like they curve towards the south, but with that crater, there could be some sort of exposed tunnel leading to the surface. I still don’t know if I want to chance it, though.”

“Then we’ll head back up,” Key said, dimming the light from his horn. “We should get going. We don’t want to be out here at nightfall.”

I rolled the map back up and placed it in my saddlebags. “Right. We should probably find somewhere to camp for the night, preferably without Raiders this time.”

////==////

While I had previously read about the effects of balefire bombs, witnessing the aftermath of one firsthoof, even hundreds of years after the fact, was spine-chilling. Like a gigantic hoof had stomped down from the heavens, all that remained of whatever Pre-War facility had been here was so much melted scrap and fused asphalt. “Wow. This is...” I turned to my travelling partner, and noticed he was similarly enthralled by the horrible scene behind us. “Yeah,” I lamely finished. As the sky began to dim from its daytime gray to the darker gray of night, I noticed that a very faint green glow still lingered about the crater, casting everything in an otherworldly hue. I fished out a bottle of Rad-X from my saddlebag and chomped down on the chalky pill, offering the bottle to Erratic Key. “Rad-X?”

He held out a hoof, and I tipped out a pill for him as well. I replaced the bottle in my bag, and, remembering Key's earlier lesson, drew my beam pistol as I followed him, head swiveling around in all directions. “So what do you think we’re going to find down here?”

“No idea,” He said, the faintest of magical auras surrounding the hilt of his blade. “But if we find anything, it’ll be big enough, strong enough, ugly enough, and irradiated enough to probably kill us. If the radiation doesn’t take care of us, that is.”

Key's words sent me into an even more worried state as I whipped my head around at an even more frantic rate, my ears joining in as they panned around, searching for even the smallest sign of trouble. Every shadow suddenly seemed more malevolent than before, and several times I caught myself almost shooting at some shifting debris or falling rocks.

“Calm down Disk,” Key said reassuringly. “If there is something here we’ll see it before it can sneak up on us.” He paused. “You’ll probably smell it too.”

I tried to take a deep breath, but the foul air that permeated the area make me cough. “Over this mess?” I thought about it for a bit. Anything that could survive this much radiation would have to have some incredibly tough skin or something, probably making it hard for it to bathe. “Yeah, I guess-” My words died in my throat as I stood beside Key at the crater’s edge. If the outer part was the result of an angry dragon, then the inside of the crater was the depths of Tartarus. I had no idea how deep the pit in front of me actually was, but I could see what looked like a soup of some greenish stuff (probably balefire residue, the studious part of my mind added) in the middle, surrounded by the shells of twisted and dead skywagons. The walls of the crater sloped in almost a perfect sphere, as if when the balefire bomb had detonated, it had simply scooped out the terrain. It looked tricky, but navigable, if one was insane. I glanced at Key incredulously. “We’re going down into that?”

Key was silent for a few moments as he inspected the ground. “We’re not going down all the way,” he finally answered. “We just need to see if there’s anything here. Then we’ll leave. By the way, does this look different to you?” he held up a forehoof, a bit of what looked like dirt clinging to the tip.

I the proffered hoof and noticed that it was not dirt, but in fact very small rocks that clumped together, forming not-really-soil. “Yeah, that’s... really weird. From what I read, the balefire bombs put out an insane amount of heat. This should all be glass. What the heck?”

“Yeah,” Key said, returning his attention to the crater, “Grab some of that to bring back to Barrel and then follow me. There’s probably something more further down.”

I looked around and was able to find a discarded water bottle, devoid of its contents, and used it to scoop a bit of the aberrant soil from the ground before following Key as carefully as I could.

“Hey, Disk,” he called from lower down in the crater, “You see anything?”

I slowed my head’s erratic movements and gave the crater a scan. Though it was still very dark, I thought I could see some very strange shapes moving in our general direction from the center of the crater. I skidded down the scree to where Key was positioned. “I think I saw... something, I have no idea what, but it looked like it might have been heading for us. It was still near the middle of the crater, so we probably have a bit of time before we’re in trouble. What’s the plan?”

Key looked out from the skywagon we were hiding behind, then back at me.“There’s nothing down there.”

I took a look for myself, and, just as Key had said, there was no sign of any movement. “Huh. I could have sworn-”

My train of thought was interrupted when I heard a certain sound, one that made my blood run cold: the rain warning siren.

I spun around to face Key, my face stricken with fear. “Oh shit. We have to get out of here!”

Key looked up to the sky, and then everything went crazy.

Justifying my worst fears, the ground erupted beneath Erratic Key and myself, scattering both dirt and ponies quite some distance. I hit the ground, and felt the wind leave my lungs with an almighty woosh. Ow… ow ow ow. That’s definitely going to bruise at the very least. My side aching from the impact, I pushed myself to my hooves, at which point I almost went right down again.

Standing before the both of us were a pair of… things: twisted masses of flesh curled around in an unnatural sideways U shape with what looked like pods of flesh hanging from the top portion, and six scrawny legs lining the bottom. Key's earlier prediction had been correct: despite the stench that permeated the area, the smell coming off the abominations was far worse.

Just when I thought that these things couldn’t get any more hideous, the tip on one of the creature’s top parts opened up, both revealing the disgustingly pink inside of the thing and letting out an ear-splitting inequine shriek.

My legs locked up in fear, and I stared, eyes wide as dinner plates. I began to tremble, and in my shaking, I accidentally fired my beam pistol.

SPAK

The red bolt of energy shot from my mouth-held weapon and hit the creature right in one of its bulbs, which burst, releasing an even more foul-smelling liquid in a small puddle on the ground.

I could hear the ground hissing underneath it.

Luckily, my accidental shot seemed to break whatever spell had been placed over me, and I ran, faster than I had ever run before.

I found solace behind one of the skywagon wrecks and peeked out. The creature was slowly but inexorably making its way towards me. Behind it, I could see Erratic Key engaging with his own monster. Perhaps it was the radiation, or perhaps it was my own fear, but it seemed to me like the creature was winning, which of course, was impossible. Key was the best fighter I knew! There was no way some-

A splash of acid near my ear cut my train of thought short, and I pulled my head back for fear of its safety. Okay Disk, just like Key told you. Don’t panic. That’s the worst possible thing you can do.

How can I not panic!? There’s some huge… thing out there, rain is on its way, and oh yeah, did I forget to mention the fact that I’m sitting in a fucking BALEFIRE BOMB CRATER?

For once, I had nothing to say in response to myself. Despite that, I tried to take a deep breath. I poked my head out from behind my cover once more. The creature was still there, but even closer this time. I closed one eye, aiming down the barrel of my pistol. I squeezed the mouthgrip.

click

What. I squeezed again, certain I had-

click. click click click.

Of all the worst possible times for this to happen… As the creature closed even more distance, I felt my heart beat faster and my breathing accelerate. I looked around for another skywagon and dashed over to it. This once was closer to the center of the crater, but further from the creature, and that’s all that mattered. I spat my pistol out onto the ground, the mouthgrip shining purple as its disinfecting magic got to work. I fumbled in my bags, searching for the replacement spark batteries I knew I had-

Several blue twinkles in the distance caught my eye. Several very spark battery-shaped twinkles, to be exact. Oh, Sisters fucking damnit! It was then that my rummaging hoof felt something I had forgotten about. Something that felt like a cross between a sledgehammer, a pool cue, and a box of nails.

I pulled Grief out from my saddlebags and gave it a few experimental swings. Woah, that was weird. Okay, note to self: move eyes while swinging to maintain visual contact with target. I turned around, which is right when the sky decided that it was going to join in on shitting all over my day.

It started with a bowel-shaking crack of thunder, shortly followed by the first drops of rain. I hadn’t been in the rain before, being a sane pony, so I was understandably surprised when the rain completely failed to sizzle like the monstrosities’ acid when it landed on my snout. However, i knew that Key and I had precious little time before the creatures would be the least of our problems.

For some reason, my mind flashed to the image of Barrel, her red mane and brown coat offsetting each other like a perfectly framed picture. She had a job for us to do, and by Luna’s sparkling alicorn, I was going to do it!

My heart filled with renewed determination, I ran at the abomination, turned my head, and swung my Grief with all my might.

The sound as it hit the creature was like the one you would get from squishing your hooves through a thick crust of swamp bile combined with the crunch of peeling off a scab. It made my stomach churn, but I managed to keep it in. As I pulled the weapon free of the creature’s skin, I noticed with a sort of grim fascination that the nails in the head of the weapon were placed in such a way that they tore up as much flesh as they could.

The weapon free, I could see that there was now a small chunk missing from the side of the thing, leaking blood, bile, and some other fluids I couldn’t identify over the ground. It swayed side to side as it continued its advance, emitting that horrible shriek as it did so. From the gaping cavity on its front, it would intermittently spit gouts of stinking acid, which I did my best to dodge, but despite my best efforts, I still ended up taking a direct hit from one of its attacks.

I sat behind yet another skycarriage wreck, this one bearing a worn inscription on its bumper: “Ho s y fl ng? al 5 - 8 24 W2 J” If it were any other time, I might have considered puzzling out the meaning. However, as it was, I had more pressing concerns. I downed a healing potion and watched the acid disappear from my chest, taking with it the burning pain that it engendered. As I placed the empty bottle back in my bag, my hoof brushed a metal syringe that I knew was lying next to an orange pill bottle containing an oversized similarly-colored tablet You know, those would really help right about now

Are you crazy!? You know what that shit is!

Yes. It’s our win condition.

No, it’s an anabolic steroid and a highly-addictive painkiller, both intended for medical use! Neither are intended for use with each other outside of-

The first part of me crushed the second underhoof as I opened the bottle, popped the pill in my mouth, and chewed as I pulled the syringe out and jabbed my foreleg with it.

A few seconds passed before I felt the effects of the Buck/Med-X combo, but when I did, oh man, did I feel like I was on top of the world! I grabbed my Grief from where it had fallen, and I charged out to meet the monstrosity head-on… figuratively speaking, of course. I let out a growl, swung with all my might, and was rewarded with the sound of squishing tissue. In the back of my mind, a small part of me idly noted that not five seconds ago I hadn’t even remotely considering the chems’ existence, but I ignored it. For the first time in a long time, I was legitimately having fun.

The creature fought back, stabbing at me with its pointed limbs and burning acid, but I neither felt nor cared. All I needed was the swing of my Grief and the squishing of flesh, and I was set. Oh yes, that squishing. The most joyous sound in the world, the epitome of-

Something in the back of my head went DINK and I stopped. The last few minutes were a blur of motion and anger. My chest was on fire, everywhere else hurt, my hooves and mouth were numb, I had a strange taste in my mouth, and my coat felt like it was covered in a thick layer of mud. What had I…?

I looked down at my hooves and nearly collapsed. I was standing in the middle of a large pile of flesh, the stink of it causing my head to spin. I tried to step out of it, but the burning in my chest stopped me. A glance confirmed my suspicions: I had a large gash running down my front, running from my collarbone (missing the carotid, luckily) and down to just above my front left forehoof. I fumbled with numb hooves in my pack for a healing potion, found one, and promptly spilled it all over the ground when I found that my equally-numb mouth was filled with something. I mustered up my strength and spat, large chunks of flesh falling from my mouth to the ground. It was then that I noticed Grief lying in the dirt several feet away. Was I attacking that thing… with my mouth!? The thought of doing something so completely horrid caused my stomach to churn. Before I completely lost it, I forced myself to down the last of my health potions, the magical solution knitting my wounds closed, leaving only a pencil-thin line on my chest to indicate there had ever been an injury there. I carefully extricated myself from the tangled mass of tissue I was occupying and limped my way over to where Grief had fallen. I counted myself lucky that the rain was still only a drizzle at this point, but I knew that a real shower could start at any moment. I chomped the last of my Rad-X and began my search for Erratic Key.

////====////

It didn’t take me all that long to find Erratic Key, as the unicorn had a certain knack for making quite the mess. I approached his prone form and nudged it with a hoof. “Hey. Hey Key, get up. We have to get out of here before the radiation gets us,” I attempted to say, but my numb mouth caused my speech to become so much garbled nonsense.

Key was a mess. He was covered in so many slashes, puncture wounds, and acid burns that I was actually surprised when he let out a low moan and tried to pull himself forward by his forelegs. I bent down to try and help him up, but my numb-leggedness just cause me to fall into the dirt with him. I let out a grunt of frustration. “Come on! We need to get going!”

The rainfall increased to a steady trickle as Key ignored my pleas and continued to drag his broken self along the ground.

What’s taking him so-

I noticed the large rip in Key's saddlebags. “Oh shit, what did you lose?”

In response, he simply collapsed. Whether due to radiation or from his wounds, I didn’t know, nor did I care. “Key? You okay?” I gathered what little strength I could and lifted myself to my hooves, the weight of Key on my back causing me to sink into the wet ground a bit. I looked to where I saw the unicorn was crawling to, and saw a hooffull of what I recognized to be memory orbs scattered in the dirt. I managed to get them into my saddlebags, but not without a considerable expenditure of time and effort. No sooner had I finished than I began to feel a slow burning sensation on my hide. As a semi-trained Wasteland medical pony, I knew what radiation was supposed to feel like, and this was definitely radiation.

I turned tail and began to run to the crater wall I had come down, but thanks to the combination of my exhaustion, Key's weight, the muddy ground, and the aftereffects of the Buck/Med-X combo, I didn’t get far before the burning became an overwhelming pain and I fell to my knees.

No, it can’t end here! A small detached part of myself noted how clichè I was being as my sight dimmed. There are still so many people I can help!

Just before I completely lost my vision, I saw a large number of legs approaching. I reached out to them and tried to vocalize something, but my body decided that it had enough, and I passed out.

////==////

The first thing I noticed upon regaining consciousness was pain. My entire body ached, from the tips of my ears down to my hooves. The second thing I noticed was that I was lying on a very cold concrete floor. I tried to push myself into a standing position, but as soon as I put any weight on my hoof, a wave of nausea swept over me, causing me to collapse once more.

From my vantage point on the ground, I could see that I was in some sort of oversized cage, the room’s sickly greenish-yellow light giving the metal an almost otherworldly tint. I tilted my head and saw Erratic Key lying on the floor nearby behind a similar set of bars, bereft of both barding and gear, same as myself. Judging from his regular breathing, he was asleep, which was good news to me, as it meant that he wasn’t dead. I was also unable to not notice the small patches of skin showing through the unicorn’s normally-full lavender coat, giving him a slight mottled appearance. Looking at myself, I could see that the radiation had produced a similar effect on my coat. I did some (not-so) quick calculations and determined that he, and by extension, I, must have been asleep for at least a day, given our probable level of radiation exposure. A small, cold part of myself noted that if the both of us didn’t get proper treatment within the day, we would probably die.

Small as my motions were, they must have been enough to attract the attention of whoever was nearby, as I heard the distinct clop of hooves on concrete. I turned my head again, but regretted the action almost instantly. In front of me was one of the ugliest, biggest Raiders I had ever seen.

His face, crisscrossed with scars and decorated with innumerable piercings, split into a wide grin. “Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to wake up.”

Even from my spot on the floor, the stench of the Raider’s breath made me gag. It carried with it the smell of poor dental hygiene, Jet, and the unfortunately now-familiar stench of rotten flesh.

My captor took a deep breath, and I braced myself. “HEY! FOOD’S AWAKE!”

The clomping of hooves on concrete drew my attention to a point past my captor, who I had failed to notice was wearing an (empty) battle saddle. As I watched, to my growing concern, a large number of Raiders flowed into the room, all of them some variation on a yellow/orange/green color palette. Similar to the pair of Raiders we had encountered just that morning (but what felt like oh so long ago) I noticed that quite a few of them had patches missing from their coats and were shaking. Unfortunately, the increase in Raiders in the room also made for an increase in their smell (and weapons, that detached part of me noted). I dragged a limp hoof across my snout in a poor attempt to block their stench out.

“I… what? I’m not…” My brain decided that it was done being stuck in molasses, and the realization hit me like a speeding bullet, sending a cold shock down my spine. “Oh.”

Seeing the look on my face, the Raider in front of the cage, who I assumed was the leader, gave a cruel laugh. “Oh, now ‘e gets it! ‘ey boys, ‘e got it! Took him long enough, eh?”

The gathered Raiders shared in the laugh, a sound that made my skin crawl.

“Ain’t real often we get fresh meat round here.” The leader leaned in towards the bars of the cell, a smirk on his face. “Price is too high. You fuckers came pretty cheap though.”

Perhaps it was Raider logic, or maybe it was a side-effect of the radiation, but I once again could not figure out what he was trying to say. I said nothing, opting instead to shake in fear.

“Eheheheh. Whasamatter? Scared? Go ahead and shit yerself. It’ll save us the trouble a’ havin’ ta clean ‘ya out.” He chuckled sinisterly. “So tell me. I’m curious. Whatcha do to piss off those cloak wearin’ chucklefucks?”

The Raider wanted to talk? This was new. My self-preservation and my curiosity did battle for a split second before my curiosity got the better of me. “I have absolute- no. Wait. It wasn’t me, it was-” I remembered who I was talking to, and quickly changed my story. “Somepony I knew. They killed one of their members, apparently. We had no idea who they were!” I held my forehooves in front of me in an attempt at a placating gesture. “I swear! They just started shooting at us! No mention of the cloak-ponies or anything!”

The raider exploded in laughter, “Oh you don’t even fuckin’ know, do ‘ya?!” The rest of the Raiders joined in with their leader’s laughter. “You’d have to do a whole lot more than kill some random shit biscuit to piss off the Shaper’s Six,” he said snidely. “Come on, no need to take it to yer grave, yer gonna die anyway! What else can we do ta ‘ya?”

I attempted to meld into the bars behind me as I tried to put more distance between myself and the Raider. “Th-that’s what I’m afraid of.”

“The stupid one, eh,” he said with a frown as he turned away from the bars. “Suppose I’ll ask yer friend there once he wakes up,” he motioned over to Erratic Key, “ he’s a hella lot more interesting.” My captor reached into the packs attached to his battle saddle and pulled out a memory orb.

My sluggish brain eventually managed to put two and two and two together and came up with six and a bit. Once again, my self-preservation died at the hooves of curiosity. “Uh… dare I ask why you have that?”

“Do you fuckin’ know anything?” the Raider said, perplexed. “Are you even fuckin’ aware of what you did? Who you're with?”

I had a sinking feeling that I was about to find something out about Erratic Key that I would have later wished I hadn’t. Despite this, it would havebeen an opportunity to learn more about the pony that I had, for whatever reason, been trusting my life to. After more internal debate, I answered: “When you put it like that, no, not really.” I realized that I was acting rather non-logical with this Raider, what with holding an actual conversation and all, and a part of me was yelling at myself, trying to get my attention that I should definitely not, under no circumstances, continue down this train of oh Sisters what was I doing. I scrambled back to the rear of the cage and resumed my previous shaking, having unconsciously been moving forwards while talking. “Wait a second! You’re going to kill and EAT me!” My voice cracked with fear. “Why in the name of all that the Sisters hold dear should I trust you!?”

“If you can’t trust someone who’ll tell ‘ya to yer face that ‘e’s gonna dine on your corpse, then who can ‘ya trust?”

I… had no real response to that, actually. I assumed the Raider must have been on Mint-als or something similar, because I couldn’t find anything wrong with his statement. All I could do was open and close my mouth like a fish as I tried to put into words just how wrong this situation felt. “E… b… g!” Nope. My mouth just did not want to cooperate.

The Raider laughed again, motioning for the rest of the herd to clear out. Once we were alone he threw the orb into my cell. “Oh, you can trust me,” he said with a sadistic grin, “you can trust that I’ll be nibbling on yer squishy little hide with a smile on my face. You can also trust that I do find you two pretty interesting. Not every day we get one in here with two Marks.” The Raider walked over to a shelf on the opposite wall and pulled out a mess of gold shaped in the vague impression of what almost looked like a tiara in a past life, if the tiara had been for a pony with a very lumpy head. Near the top of the device was a small gap, which I assumed, based on context, was for the memory orb. The Raider tossed the thing into my cell, where it clinked along the floor before stopping next to my prone form. “Now why don’t you enjoy one last little bit of peace? I promise I won’t kill you while you're under.”

I had no reason to trust this pony at all, but the memory orb… I had heard stories about them, about their power… the ability to store the memory of another pony, and to then be able to re-live them at will! Of course, that required magic, but I assumed that that was what the device was for. Despite myself, I picked it up and turned it over in my hooves. Yes, there it was: a small arcane capacitor sat at the rear of one of the temple pieces connected to a bundle of wires that spread across the inner edge of the headpiece. I looked from the device to the Raider, then to Key.

What in the hell am I doing?

That’s what I’ve been saying!

I mean, on the one hoof, I might get to learn something about Erratic Key, but on the other…

On the other, you’re following the directions of a junkie Raider!

This is true. You can’t fault his logic, though. If worst comes to worst, we won’t have to worry about it, will we?

...

Well, you only live once… I clipped the memory orb into place and slipped the device onto my head. Almost instantly, I felt the world slide away from me like an oil slick around my entire body.

As reality fell away, I could distantly hear the Raider say one last thing, almost as an aside: “It’ll make killin’ ya later all the more fun.”

o0o0o0o

The first thing I noticed was that I no longer felt like my life was being slowly sucked through a straw. That was a relief, at least. Then I noticed a slight pressure in the middle of my forehead. Oh, now that’s weird. I then noticed the complete and utter lack of light. From off to my side, a young voice made itself known:

“Uncle Key.”

If Key had noticed, he didn’t show it.

“Uncle Keeeeey!”

Erratic Key grumbled something indistinct, a very odd sensation when you aren’t the one moving your own mouth. He opened his eyes, revealing a pair of vividly blue eyes wide with the wonders of foalhood. The filly bounced back at Key's opening his eyes, revealing an orange coat and radioactive green mane.

“Uncle Keeeey, wake uuuup!”

Erratic Key smacked his lips a few times before managing to wake up enough to get out of bed. “Ugh, what did you set on fire now, Tart Sauce?” Key idly glanced around the room, revealing a very plain room in a wooden house with nothing in it but the bed he had just vacated and the remnants of a small bathroom.

The foal stomped a forehoof. “I didn’t do anything, and don’t call me that! I’m not a baby any more!”

My host pulled one of his forelegs under in a deep mock bow, once again affecting a ridiculous accent. “Hwhell excuse me, madame. Do tell me hwhat grand occasion has come up that I should be graced hwhith being visited by such a fine young mare as yourself, Orange Tart.”

The filly gave Key an unamused look. “You’re not funny, Uncle Key. And you know why! Today’s the day!”

Key's head jerked up as if he had just remembered something. “Right! You have that doctor appointment today. Got it.”

“Uncle Keeey!” The filly began jumping up and down. “Today’s the day I finally get to go out with you, Momma, and Daddy!”

Key's heart rate went up a few notches at that. “Oh, is that, uh, is that today?”

Orange Tart stopped her imitation of a spring. “Yeah-huh! Daddy said that when I turn twelve I can go out with you guys and get stuff!”

If Orange Tart was trying to calm Key down, she failed miserably. “A-are you twelve now?” My host gave a weak chuckle. “You don’t want to spend your birthday out-”

“Mama already tried that,” Orange Tart interrupted, a smug grin on her face.

“Well how about we get some breakfast first?”Key began walking out the door. However, before he could open it, there was a knock on it. There was a strange tingle in the middle of my forehead as Key used his magic to open it to reveal a surprised dark gray earth pony with a blue mane. However, Key's attention was more focused on the mare standing behind him, a unicorn mare with a light gray coat and white mane.

The stallion spoke first. “Well, I thought I might have to break the door down to wake you up this early.” He leaned to look past Key and into the room. “You haven’t seen-” He cut himself off, apparently having spotted what he was looking for.

“What?” My host turned to face away from the other ponies. “Have I seen little Tart Sauce anywhere? Nope.” There was that awkward tingle again as he levitated a blanket over the filly. “Just me and my ghost blanket.”

“Uncle Keeeeey!” Tart Sauce shook the offending cloth off herself.

The corners of Key's mouth turned upwards as he returned his attention back to the stallion and mare, the former of whom had an eyebrow raised in amusement while the mare giggled lightly. “So what’s going on, Circuit?”

The stallion shrugged. “Business as usual. Vein and I are heading out with some of the others for a supply run.”

The mare, Vein, I assumed, stepped forward. “We were hoping you would join us,Key.”
The effect the mare’s voice had on my host’s body was astonishing. His eyelids began to droop and his stance relaxed, something I would have never considered possible for the present-day Erratic Key to be capable of.

Huh. The more you know...

Key raised an eyebrow. “You never ask me to go on any ‘normal’ run. What makes this run different?”

Circuit glanced around nervously. “Well, I wanted to-”

Orange Tart suddenly bounced in between the two stallions, a grin on her face stretching from ear to ear. “Come with us, Uncle Key! We can all go together!”

Key glanced back at Circuit, who at this point looked like he wanted to vanish on the spot. “Tart, sweetie, why don’t you and your mom go get ready while I talk to Uncle Key?”

The filly cocked her head.”Whatcha gonna talk about, Daddy?”

Circuit gestured noncommittally in the air with a forehoof. “Oh… just some adult-”

Key stepped forward a half-step, interrupting Circuit. “Your dad and I are going to discuss some super-secret Outside techniques for wandering around and finding all the best stuff. We’d let you listen in, but then-” Key's eyebrows formed an angry expression and his tone grew dark. “I’d have to kill you.” He made a slashing motion across his throat with a forehoof. “Khhhhhk. Very hush hush.” A dramatic pause. Then, with a wink: “Understand?”

“Pfft. If you don’t want me to know, you coulda just said so.” The filly huffed her way out of the room accompanied by a fussing Vein.

The foal gone, Key turned to the other stallion. “You’re actually letting her go with you,” he said, a note of disbelief creeping into his otherwise-calm voice.

“Key, she’s going to have to go out at some point. Ore Vein and I talked about it-”

“And she’s okay with this!?”

“Yes, Key.” Circuit stomped a forehoof. “We both do. We’ve thought a lot about this, and we think that if she’s going to start going out at some point, it should be some time when we’re with her and can make sure that she’s all right.”

“YOU WANT TO-” Key looked at the door, then back at Circuit, continuing in a hissing whisper. “You want to send her out there while she’s still young? She- she doesn’t even have her Mark yet, for Celestia’s sake!”

Circuit matched my host’s tone. “And she never will if we keep her locked up forever like you,” he pointed an accusing hoof at Erratic Key, “seem to want to!”

Key inhaled through his nose and began to pace the room, starting to mutter, but increasing in volume as he spoke: “You. Are. Her. Father. Aren’t you supposed to be the one who is completely against this? The overbearing stallion who can’t bear to see his little girl hurt?”

Circuit scoffed. “And aren’t you supposed to be the friend and uncle that goes along with me and the decisions that I as the father make?”

“WELL MAYBE WE HAVE THE WRONG ROLES THEN!”

Key must have hit a nerve, because Circuit began glaring daggers at him, causing Key to balk. “Are you really going to bring that up?” His voice was so flat you could have used it as a carpenter’s level.

Key took a step back, cowed by Circuit’s sudden display. “No, I… I’m sorry. I… I’ll go. I’ll see you outside. I just… need to get some things.”

Circuit have a final snort and left, slamming the door as he left the room.

Key, overcome by emotion, collapsed on the bed and lay there for several minutes. Finally, he gathered his legs underneath himself and rose, moving to the sink. Another pulse of magic and a small shard of glass floated from the rim and into his mane, tucking itself behind his left ear. Preparations complete, Key walked to the door, but glanced back into the room and then down at himself, where I could clearly see-

No. That couldn’t have been what had happened. There’s no way!

But memory orbs are extracted directly from the pony; there’s no way the memory could have been tampered with.

Sitting proudly upon Key's flank, right where his Cutie Mark should have been, lay a single unbroken key.

Achievements unlocked!

Urban Scout - Enter Downtown

The Reaper is My Copilot - Survive a near-death experience in the Crater

The First Piece - Reveal a secret about yourself to one of your companions

Author's Note

As per usual, a massive thanks to Galvin Starlight, without whom this would not be possible. If you liked this story, swing by r/FOEwriters and r/falloutequestria to check out some other cool stories (and some cool people)! Also give the Fallout: Equestria Resource a look for even more stuff than I knew existed!

If you want a PDF copy, check out the GoogleDocs version here!

Chapter 3: The Voice in the Spritebot

Reality returned to me like it had left: with a slow oily feeling all over my body, made worse by the return of the sick feeling that accompanied advanced stages of radiation poisoning. I wobbled a bit as the feeling of being myself once again asserted itself, but I managed to keep my upright sitting position. Looking around, I noticed that the dingy room was pretty much the way it had been when I began my little excursion: peeling gray walls, crumbling floor, and the bowel-churning mixture of aromas that was sickness, drug abuse, and death. I heard a grumbling from the cell next to me and looked over to see Erratic Key stirring. I gingerly made my way over to the bars dividing us. “Hey there, Key. How are you holding up?”

Key blinked groggily at the floor, his head hanging limply. “What happened?” he croaked.

I sighed. “Well, as far as I can tell, we got our asses handed to us by radiation after we fought those… things in the crater.” My stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch, and I groaned. “Oogh, uh. I can’t really be sure, but I’m pretty sure the both of us have some very advanced radiation poisoning right now. If we don’t get any Rad-Away before the end of the day, I… well...” I let my gaze wander, unable to meet Key’s eye. “If we can get out of these cages, though, that hopefully shouldn’t be too much of a problem. With all the chems these Raiders have-” I held a hoof to my mouth as my stomach tried to eject itself through my throat. Mustering all my willpower, I managed to force it back down, gagging at the bile. “Ugh. Sorry. Like I was saying, hopefully that won’t be a problem.”

I looked to Key, trying to figure out some way to get out. “Do you think you can use your magic to escape somehow?”

The beleaguered unicorn turned his head to face me, an act that looked like it took quite a bit of effort. His gaze swept up to my head, where the Recollector was still perched, then back to me. “Whose is that?” he asked, a dangerous tone in his voice.

I tried to look anywhere but at Erratic Key. “Oh, uh, it’s, uh… it’s yours.” I turned and braced myself for the oncoming shitstorm.

“What. Did you see?” he said, breathing heavily between each word like my viewing the orb was a personal attack on him.

“Well, I’m not really sure. There-” another lurch of the stomach. “Ulp. You were in… some house or something, and I guess your niece was there? Congratulations, by the way. Uh, she had just had a birthday, and you and your… brother? Were going to go scavenging, and you didn’t want her to go, but he did, and OH YEAH-” My insides did not like the sudden exertion, and responded appropriately.

Luckily for Key, I was able to aim my head away from him.

I wiped my mouth with a pastern, the cold analytical part of me noting the blood. “Ugh. Fucking radiation.” I turned my gaze back to Key. “So yeah, your Cutie Mark-”

“Shut up.”

“I… what?”

“Shut up,” Erratic Key hissed. “Shut up and keep your eyes shut, if you don’t want someone eating you tonight.” He turned from me and looked around, but for what, I had no idea. “No matter what you hear, don’t you dare open your fucking eyes.” He closed his eyes and began to breathe heavily, his horn starting to glow slightly.

As Erratic Key began concentrating, I felt something in the pit of my stomach, and it was something other than the radiation. It was something that I hadn’t felt since… wow. I realized that since I left the PMRF I had yet to have an entire day without some soul-shaking terror besetting me. I averted my gaze as my travelling companion requested, but as I did so, I began to think.

Why am I even travelling with this stallion? Nothing but bad news seems to follow him around. Heck, even in the past he seemed to have issues with other ponies.

Because he can help create the Cure.

Yeah, but I didn’t have to follow him. I did that of my own volition.

No, you did that to get back in good graces with Medley.

Maybe. But thinking back on it, do I really care that much about her? Yeah, she’s got the looks, but she’s like sandpaper when it comes to relationships.

The image of Barrel grinning after I had helped her with her terminal flashed in my mind.

Now there’s a mare who has it going on.

So if you’re no longer doing this for Medley, why do it?

For her. For all the ponies in Pittspur.

Really? Is that your only motivation? Nopony does anything simply out of the goodness of their hearts.

Why?

Because this is the Wasteland. This is how things work here. The sooner you can get that through your thick head, the better chance we have of not dying.

I had no response to that. Against Key’ warnings, I cracked one eye open, followed by the other one flying open to match. In place of where the unicorn was lying, there was now a large pile of Dash inhalers, Buck bottles, and Med-X needles. I hesitantly turned my gaze to the door of his cell. In place of the lock was a ball of compressed metal. I once again felt the bottom of my stomach drop out in fear, but this time it was for the pony who was no longer there.

Sisters, Key, what have you done?

Before I could wonder why I didn't hear Key smash the lock, I was interrupted by the sounds of carnage in the distance, carrying through the apparently not-too-large building. With each gunshot, crunch, and meaty squelch, my fear for (and of) my travelling partner grew. Finally, the sound of agonized sound of my own cage’s lock being crushed caused me to turn my head. There stood not Erratic Key, but a simulacrum of him, radiating an unsettling calmness, with the occasional twitch belying his inner struggle to stay alive. I staggered to my hooves. “Oh, Sisters! Key, you… did…” I looked back at the pile of empty chem containers. “You took all of those!? How in the world did-” Then I noticed the large chunks of flesh missing from his side. “Oh, that can’t be good.” In my shock my brain was providing me with only cliches to go on. “We need to find… uh…” I pushed past Key, searching for the appropriate chems. I stumbled my way through several rooms, each one more nightmarish than the last: here a Raider with a hunting rifle impaled through his head, there a body torn to shreds, an almost-unrecognizable chair leg nearby smeared with brain matter.

All told, I managed to find two healing potions, a dose of Hydra, some Fixer, and luck upon luck, an intact bag of Rad-Away, all of which I balanced carefully on my back as I made my way back to Erratic Key. However, when I reached the room that housed the cells, I found the unicorn in question on his side, spasming. “Key!” I rushed to his side, my stomach complaining at the sudden acceleration. “Oh Sisters, why now? Okay, Key I need you to stay with me!” I opened the tin of Fixer and tipped it into my hoof, pouring out a single white pill. “Key, you need to take this. It’s Fixer; it’ll help with the side-effects.”

I gently tipped the pill into Erratic Key’s mouth and massaged his throat until I felt him swallow. “Okay, now that we have this in you, we can get you healed up.” I poured a small measure of the ruby health potion into my prone companion’s mouth, waited for him to swallow, and repeated until both bottles had been consumed. With Key’s wounds addressed, I could then turn my attention to another pressing matter: our radiation sickness. I reached for the pouch of Rad-Away, but stopped when I realized a problem: Rad-Away was meant to be taken intravenously. I glanced to Key, a concerned look on my face. “Okay, uh… this might cause problems down the line, but it’s either this or there won’t be a ‘down the line.’” Then again, considering that the Rad-Away was scavenged from Raiders, I wondered if it was even relevant. Banishing the thoughts from my mind, I pushed one of the long bits of metal that was lying on the floor into a standing position in some of the rubble, hung the bag from the top, pushed the needle into Key’ foreleg, and waited. When the bag was half-empty, I pulled the needle out, wiped it off on my pastern, and, bracing myself, pushed the needle into my own foreleg.

////====////

Hours passed with me sweating out the effects of the Rad-Away, and Key sleeping the sleep of the nearly-dead that I had become so familiar with in my time at the PMRF. Once I could move without causing my stomach to flip over like an airborne pegasus, I found myself rummaging through the Raiders’ possessions, looking for anything that could be of use. As I did, I couldn’t help but marvel in the oddly uncivilized way that the Raiders went about their lives. I saw no indication of any sort of hygiene at all: there were no water tanks to shower with, no separation of what normally would have been taken care of in an outhouse from living space, and no functional sources of heat that could have been used to cook. It was an almost Zen, in a strange, perverse sort of way.

Then I saw the room decorated with the corpses of victims past, and all those thoughts vanished like so much smoke.

I returned to my travelling companion having found enough almost-decent cloth scraps to cobble together a makeshift pair of saddlebags, into which went some two hundred year old Fancy Buck Cakes (still in pristine condition), a single bottle of Shimmer Soda (with a label featuring some mint-colored pony happily declaring that her product contained no more than 2% peach juice by volume), and the Recollector (somehow still intact). I noticed Erratic Key begin to stir, and I sat next to him. “Please, for the love of the Sisters, let me know when you’re going to do something like that next time!”

Key tried to stand back up, but his legs gave out and he flopped back to the floor. “Are we still here?” he asked through heavy breaths. “We should have left… how long?”

I pulled a relatively less-rusty can from a pile nearby and pulled the cork out of the bottle of soda, pouring out a measure of the toxicly-pink liquid. “It’s been a few hours. Here; it was either this or alcohol, and you need to keep hydrated.”

Erratic Key took a sip, coughed, and took another. “A few hours?” he asked, voice hoarse, “Why are we still here? We need to…” He tried to stand again, grunting with the effort, but his body was having none of that, and he slumped down again. “We need to get out of here in case there’s more of them. There’s no telling how many of them could have been out.”

I poured some more soda. “Yes, but you’re in no condition to go anywhere. Besides, if I was carrying you, I wouldn’t be able to fight, not that I’d be able to do much against the Raiders in the first place, what with not having a weapon and all.”

“No we need to...” He let out an exasperated sigh. “Fuck. Fine, then where are we, exactly?”

I nudged the can pointedly towards Key’ prone form. “Well, if I had to guess, I’d say we’re probably somewhere in Junkie territory. It’s more north of the crater than we were, but I have no idea exactly where. From what I’ve heard, the Junkies are a pretty big threat in Downtown.”

“Alright,” Key said, pushing away the can. “Hostile territory. No idea where we really are? Where’s our stuff?”

I took a sip of the soda for myself from the bottle and pulled one of the snack cakes from its wrapper, offering it to Erratic Key. “I honestly can’t say for certain. As to our stuff, I saw a promising-looking safe in one of the other rooms, but it’s locked.”

“I’ll get to that,” he said, pushing away the snack. “Anything else of note? Caps, weapons, food? How about my collection?” At that last sentence, Key shifted his gaze to a spot some three feet to one side of my head.

“Key, you really need to eat something, and this is the best I could find. Come on, you need to get your strength back up.”

“You’re changing the subject, Data Disk.”

“Yes, because I’m concerned, Key. Right now your surviving is more important than getting our things back, because, quite frankly, without you, I’m dead out here.”

“I seem to be very much alive right for now, Disk, so I’ll ask again: where are my memories?”

Hearing Key’s resilience to being cared for made my coat start to stand on end. “Well you might be alive right now, but I want to make sure you stay that way. So listen to the pony who has medical training, and eat your food!”

Erratic Key finally relented, taking a grudging bite and glaring at me as he chewed.

I sighed. “Thank you. To answer your question, I did not see your ‘collection,’ but I imagine it is probably with the rest of our stuff.”

“If you’ve checked everywhere else,” Key said, starting to push himself to his hooves, legs trembling with the effort, “Take me to that safe.”

I grunted as I helped Key up and draped his right foreleg over my back. “Right. It’s not too far, luckily.” The two of us made our way to the back of the building, behind a very odd display featuring the remains of what looked like three robotic pigs holding instruments standing in front of a barn. There was a small blue button next to the display, its glow providing a small additional amount of light to the dingy area.

Sometimes Pre-War technology baffles me.

We passed into a back room that was filed from floor to ceiling in shelves lined with empty boxes, their food long ago eaten, decayed, or destroyed. The bodies of Raiders cluttered the aisles, some no more than skeletons, others still fleshy, but both made travel difficult. Eventually, though, we made it to the safe. Well, it wasn’t so much a “safe” as it was an “armored closet with a lock.” I looked to Erratic Key. “Any chance you can get this open?”

“Yeah,” he said, looking at the lock. “I don’t have any picks, and in this condition...” Key sat down in front of the safe, contemplating something. “All right, go bring me some Dash,” he said after a bit.

My jaw figuratively hit the floor. “WHAT!? No! After that massive dose you just had, you want MORE!? Do you even realize what that stuff is, much less what it does to you!?”

“Yeah, it lets me get my shit back,” Key said, his voice flat. “Now am I going to have to find some myself, because the less energy I can spend the better.”

“I… drgh…” I was too frustrated for proper words. “NO! That shit, which by the way, is literally the vapors from Brahmin shit, absolutely DESTROYS the serotonin reuptake inhibitors in your brain, causing temporary euphoria and an increase of activity in the arcane cortex of unicorns. However, over time, you become literally unable to function without it until you fucking DIE! Do you want that Key, huh!? DO YOU!?”

“We’re past that point already, Disk,” Key said, looking back at the safe. “Do I need to ask again?”

The simplicity of his answer deflated my anger like the air being let out of a pressure cast. I sighed deeply. He was right. If he was this far into addiction, then, as he said, he literally needed that Dash to open the lock. “I’ll be right back… I think I saw some back in the... everywhere.” Probably because of my mood, I couldn’t help but try and lift the atmosphere with a petty attempt at humor.

I sat Key down in front of the locker and returned to the front of the store and grabbed a hooffull of the Dash inhalers that littered the ground. I turned around and was just about to enter the back room when I heard the click of the door opening.

“We’re back. Anypon- what the fuck!?”

Oh shit.

I ran as fast as my still-aching legs would carry me to back to Key. I nearly threw the Dash at him in my panic. “Okay, Key here’s your drugs now let’s get going, we have company!”

"Told you," Key said, taking a large lungful of Dash. His horn began to glow brightly, and the lock on the safe popped open with a burst of light blue magic. The door swung open, and Key pulled a familiar-looking metal apple from the clutter inside, along with a burlap sack that I assumed held his collection of memory orbs. “Grab something and get ready... and pray they’re all together.” Levitating the dud grenade in front of him, Key made his way to the door to the front of the shop.

I quickly looked through the rest of the weapons, hoping for-

Seriously? I just can not get rid of this damn thing!

Right next to a beam pistol and a spark battery sat Grief. Against my better judgment, I scooped the entirety of the locker’s contents into my saddlebags, stuck the battery into the pistol, grabbed it with my mouth, and ran after Key. I caught up with him crouching behind the partially-opened door to the front of the store. I took the corner on the opposite side. “Usual plan?” I then realized what I had said.

Sisters above, this stallion is going to get me killed. It hasn’t even been five days, and already we have a ‘usual plan’ for battle. What am I doing?

Not dying.

That’s the hope… I tightened my grip on my pistol.

“We’ll find out,” Key said, taking the moment to peek into the main room. Having sized up the situation, he threw the dud grenade.

Seeing Key throw his “grenade,” I peeked my head around the corner. There were five Raiders, each armed with something different: a red stallion with a pipe, a dark mare with a sniper rifle, a massive stallion wielding what was unmistakably a gatling laser, a brown one with a sawn-off shotgun, and (I winced at seeing the last one) a yellow unicorn with a broken stump of a horn bearing an entire bandolier of dynamite.

“Fuck!” The brown Raider articulated, “Grenade!”

The Raiders scattered, the one with the pipe hiding with the brown one behind a checkout counter. The big one with the gatling laser took a few steps to the left, almost bumping into the dark yellow one with the broken horn, who hadn’t moved for whatever reason. The slight one with the sniper rifle had disappeared completely behind a shelf.

While they were disoriented, I tried taking a shot at the ex-unicorn. My shot went wide, though, and ended up hitting one of the beams supporting the ceiling.

Gatling pony pointed in my direction. “‘es back there! Jacknife, flush ‘em out!”

The dynamite pony, who was apparently named Jacknife, gave the big one a look that said that he really just wanted it all to end, lit one of the sticks in his bandolier (using his hooves and a lighter, a detached part of me noted) and threw it in our direction.

“SHIT!” I scrambled to get behind one of the shelves near the back of the room.

Key, on the other hoof, had a different plan. As the dynamite neared him, he simply stared at it, halting it in a cloud of his magic.

As Key threw the dynamite back through the door, time seemed to slow to a crawl. There was the unmistakable crack of a gunshot, amplified a thousandfold by the enclosed space of the store. An instant later, I felt a sharp pain as a bullet shot straight through my left ear. Key slammed the door just after, the oddly thick door rattling in its decrepit hinges. There was an even louder blast that set my ears ringing. I looked over to where Key had hid. “What did you DO!?”

“Disoriented them!” he shouted, pushing the door open and running through to the other side.

I made my way to the door frame, poked my head around the corner, felt my mouth drop open, and immediately began coughing. A large hole had taken the place of the roof, raining debris down into the room below and creating an obscuring cloud of dust. Squinting, I could just make out the bodies of the red and brown Raiders crushed under a piece of rubble that covered where a cash register used to be. I took a few tentative steps into the room but stopped when I felt something uncomfortably warm and squishy underhoof. I slowly looked down and nearly tripped over myself when I saw what I was stepping in: in the place where my hoof just was sat the unmistakable shape of half of a pony’s skull, ripped asunder by the explosion. I felt my stomach churn, but managed to keep it under control.

Another shot rang out, this one whizzing past me and burying itself in the floor near my left rear hoof. I looked around wildly trying to find the source, but thanks to the dust, I had no idea where the shooter could have been.

Somepony survived?

It seemed that the Sisters were in a foul mood, as no sooner had I thought that than I heard the rubble shift, the unmistakable pop of a damaged spark battery identifying it as the Raider with the gatling laser.

Oh you have got to be kidding me!

I dove for cover behind the other side of the counter as a burst of magical energy nearly severed my head.

I poked my head up and judging by the direction of the bright red death beams, aimed my pistol at where I assumed him to be and fired.

SPAK

BANG

I winced. I had worked with too many Solaris-made devices to not know the sound of an exploding spark battery. There was another shot from somewhere in the room, and this time I could feel the bullet whiz through the hairs in my tail. The sniper must have been in withdrawal or something, because there was no way in my mind for someone to miss that much. Still, I took my blessings where I could get them, and returned fire.

SPAK

“AAAAGH!”

I winced as I heard the disintegration magic of my beam pistol do its work, the scream of the dying pony seeming to continue long after the sizzling of the magic stopped.

Just remember: it’s either you or them.

It was a bit of a dark thought, but focusing on that fact steeled my resolve and I tightened my grip on the mouthpiece.

Me or him.

Through the dust cloud, I was just barely able to see the last Raider fall. I trotted up to where Key was standing, supporting his weight with mine when I saw his slumping posture. “Hey, are you okay?” Then I noticed his leg. “Oh, Sisters! That…” I winced. I could almost put my hoof through the one hole that was in the middle, and one of the other beams must have clipped his leg, because there was a semicircular piece of it missing. “How much weight can you put on it?”

“Exactly none,” he said, slumping against me. “Fuck, why you do you use those damn things?” He glanced at the rubble pile we were standing on. “Get me down.”

I lifted Key’s injured leg and draped it over my back, helping him hobble down to the base of the pile. “‘Cause they don’t kick like traditional guns. Easier on the neck.” I looked around. The dead Raider Key had killed lay at our hooves, and the door that I assumed led to the street lay behind us. “Should we try and scavenge anything off these guys?”

“Do I look fucking ready to dig through the pockets of a few junkies?” he asked bitterly. Key closed his eyes, focusing. “Put me down. Put me down. I need to lay down for a bit,” he added tersely.

My ears flattened themselves in response to the unicorn’s tone. “Okay, okay.” I laid him down as gently as I could. “I’m going to see what I can find. With any luck, at least one of them will have a healing potion.”

Keeping an ear out for anything from my travel partner, I began the grim task of searching through the remains. Though I didn’t find any healing potions, I did find a hooffull of Med-X syringes that looked unused. I stowed these in my saddlebags, attempting to hide the motion from Key.

If he knows I have Med-X, he’ll probably try and get me to let him have it, but his body hasn’t yet recovered from the shock he gave it when he broke us out of the cages. I’ll tell him later.

I made my way back to Key. “Nothing, unless you want me to grab their-” An idea began to form in my mind. “Okay, Key, I think I have an idea. If you had some support for your leg, do you think you’d be able to walk?”

Key stared back at me, eyes unfocused and mouth agape. “W-What?” he breathed out sharply, “What is it?”

I balked at the sudden change in his well-being.“Key? A-are you alright?” I put a fetlock to his forehead and drew back almost immediately. He was burning up. I tapped his cheek lightly, trying to get his attention. “Hey! Key! What’s happening? Talk to me!”

Key closed his eyes. “I'm fine,” he whispered, “What did you see?”

“You're far from fine, Key. You're burning up! Just how many chems did you take!?”

“What happened?” he asked, opening his eyes again. As he focused on me, his eyes jittered back and forth as though he was dreaming. “Did you see her?”

“Who? Concentrate, Key! How. Many. Doses. Did. You. Take.”

“Was she still pretty? She was so beautiful. She was always so beautiful,” he said wistfully. Erratic Key turned to face the ceiling, a smile creeping across his face. “I miss her.” He coughed a few times but otherwise maintained his peaceful gaze.

I sighed in irritation as I realized that I had been overreacting. Key was simply, to use common terminology, “tripping balls.”

Right. Common side-effect of Dash: elevated body temperature. If he's been using for as long as he claimed, then he's probably built up a tolerance to the drug, so he should probably be okay until he comes back down.

Of course, more preferable would have been his not taking the chems in the first place, but seeing as that would have resulted in my catching a bad case of dead, I really didn’t have any choice.

I considered the logistics of my next move. I needed the metal from the lead Raider’s armor, but there was no way for me to cut it down where we were. “Okay, Key, I need to move you, so I’m going to be carrying you for a bit.” I reached down, undid the remains of the metal armor, and put it on. It was extremely uncomfortable, but it let me carry both it and Key at the same time. I scooped him onto my back and headed to the back room once more, depositing him and the metal armor on the floor near the cabinet we had discovered our gear in. “I need to get some supplies. Be right back.” That said, I trotted back to the cage room, looking for anything that I could use to perform some impromptu surgery.

I managed to find what I needed in the rubble, and trotted back to Key. He was still out of it, which was exactly what I needed for this to be surgery and not torture.

I fiddled with the settings on my beam pistol so it would produce a constant stream of energy while the trigger was pulled. I directed the beam to start cutting up the metal armor into smaller strips, which I then gave a longer burst on each end to fuse together, creating thick strips of metal.

The next part was the hardest for me, ethically speaking. I pulled one of the syringes of Med-X from my saddlebags. “Sorry Key, but I need to know that you’re not going to feel this.” I injected the needle into his side, waiting for him to fall asleep.

First do no harm…

Well that’s all about to be torn to pieces, isn’t it?

Shut up. I’m doing this to save him.

Just saying…

Once Key’s breathing had stabilized, I pulled over the flamer I had found, and adjusted it so that I could use it as a heating flame. I pushed some of the rubble around to support the nozzle pointing towards the ceiling, and managed to find some other metal to use as a kind of grating. On top of this assembly, I placed the metal strips, turned on the heat, and waited.

Soon enough, the metal began to glow with its intense heat. From my saddlebag, I slipped on a set of thermal hoof coverings, designed to protect ponies working with, as a random example, heated metal. Taking the metal in my covered hooves, I placed two of them on either side of Key’s hoof, the heat welding themselves to his hooves. I next threaded the pieces of metal through the hole in his leg, crossing them in the middle, and attached them to the foreleg using their own heat and secured them with a medical brace. The smell of burning flesh and hair mixed with the stench of melting keratin already permeating the room, creating a miasma of noxious odors that made me gag.

I held each of the plates in place and tested them to make sure they wouldn’t come off. When I was sure my hoofwork would hold, I grabbed the pail of water I had retrieved, and poured it over the metal, steam filling the air as the impromptu spring brace cooled. My task complete, all that was left to do was wait for Key to wake up once more.

////====////

Movement at my side caused me to jolt from the half-sleep I had been in for the last three hours. I unfolded myself from my sleeping position and stood, the joints in my legs and back popping in protest. I still felt horrible, but less so than when I had begun my vigil. “Hey,” I said to Erratic Key. “How are you feeling?”

Key glanced at me out of the corner of his eyes. "What did you see?" he croaked.

One of my eyebrows raised itself in response. “Huh?” Then the wheels finished turning. “Oh, you mean in the memory orb?”

“Yeah.”

I let out a breath through pursed lips. “Well, for one, I saw your niece. Like I said earlier, congratulations on that. Not many foals get to survive for twelve whole years these days. There were two other ponies; I imagine that Circuit is your brother. Oh yeah, and then there was that little matter of your Mark.” I pointed to the broken key on my travelling companion’s flank. “Cutie Marks don’t change. Fact of life. Care to explain how you happen to have had a different Mark in the past?”

There was a resounding silence. After a tense minute, Key spoke: “Do you believe someone can be damned? Or that you can make up for the bad?”

That wasn’t what I was expecting. I thought about that for a bit. “I’m... not entirely sure,” I said slowly, choosing my words carefully. “Traditional Equestrian beliefs hold that the Sisters decide the ultimate fate of a pony when they die, but I personally doubt, based on their history of care for their subjects, that they would actually ‘damn’ anypony. But to answer your second question, I do believe that anyone can redeem themselves so long as they truly believe they are trying to make up for whatever it is that they have done. Is… is this about your changing Cutie Marks?”

“Maybe,” Key said, closing his eyes. “Help me up?”

I reached out a hoof and hoisted Key from the floor. The doubt in his voice when he responded worried me more than a bit. “What do you mean, ‘maybe?’ How can you not know how your Cutie Mark changed?”

As I helped Erratic Key to his hooves, his attention was drawn to the brace on his left foreleg. "What happened?"

The second sudden topic change in as many minutes gave me pause. “Huh?” I looked to where Key was looking. “Oh. Well, you took quite the hit from that Raider’s gatling laser, and you said that you couldn’t put any weight on it. We need you mobile to survive, and that seemed like the best solution at the time. Hopefully it’ll hold; I had to put it together from scrap.”

“You made this?” Key asked, staring at the sizable hole in his leg. “I’m gonna need something to cover that up.”

I shook my head. “Not really. Magical energy weapons cauterize wounds instantly, so the risk of infection is negligible.” I took another look at his leg. “This is going to sound really weird, but it… doesn’t look half bad. The holes give you an exotic kind of look.”

This elicited a small smile from Key. "So what now?"

I thought about that for a bit. “Well, we should probably try and get back to the Residence for some R&R. Sisters know we deserve it by now. Barrel will probably want to know what we-” A sudden thought struck me, and I started searching through my saddlebags. “Shit!” I stamped the floor in anger. “The soil sample I took from the crater is gone!” I sighed. “Well, we’re definitely not going back there any time soon.” A frown crossed my face. “She probably would have liked it, too…”

"We can't just go back," Key said, "We haven't actually done anything."

“That’s not exactly true. If you remember, Barrel asked us to scout out the crater to see what we could find there. We found death worms from Tartarus. Therefore, we’re done there."

Key paused to think. "How many caps do we have on us?"

"Between the two of us? None. We are flat broke."

Key raised an eyebrow. “You’re telling me a group of drugged-up cannibals didn’t have a single cap on them? Have you searched the bodies?”

I made a face at the thought. “Well, I did a cursory search when I was scrounging for the materials for your leg spring, but I was really only concentrating on what I needed.” With a resigned sigh, I added, “You should try and recover some more. I’ll go see what I can find.”

“You do that,” Key said as he sat down.

I nodded and went about my unpleasant task.

Good thing the brace held.

Yeah, we’d be boned without him.

I should probably see about getting some form of proper combat training when we get back to the Residence. Maybe that security mare could teach me a thing or two.

Yeah, like how to yell at ponies.

What?

You really think some two-bit security guard would be able to help us survive in the Wasteland? She was only slightly less green than we were!

Since when did I start referring to myself in the plural?

When you realized that you needed somepony to talk to without anyone else overhearing, but that’s not the point.

No, this is kind of important here. If I conjured up a mental construct simply for the purpose of conversation… Dear Sisters, I’m going crazy.

No, you’re just as sane as you’ve always been, Look, that’s not the point here. The point is that one security pony is not going to do a whole lot for your combat skills. You need a teacher with experience; someone who’s been out in the Wastes for a while. Someone who’s seen it all.

I think I see what you’re getting at here.

Exactly. We need Erratic Key. Try and bring it up casual conversation; he’d probably be more receptive to that idea that way.

Right.

I blinked and found myself back where I started, my saddlebags slightly more full than they had been. “Okay,” I took a quick double-check of my saddlebags. “Looks like all told, I found about fifty-eight caps, a gun in bad condition, five bullets, some rope, and some other junk that we can sell for a bit more.”

Erratic Key nodded. “We need to find somewhere we can spend that, then. We’re going to need food and water if we want to stay alive.”

I sighed. “Other than the Residence and the PMRF, I have no idea where anyone is really settled down here. Pittspur was a big city; there could be a whole lot of little settlements, one big one, or none at all.” I massaged my temple with a forehoof. “We should at least head in the direction of the Crossing as we look. Hopefully we’ll find something before then.”

“One last thing,” Key said, staring at me. After an uncomfortably long pause, he finished his thought: "Make sure you have the Recollector. We'll be needing it."

I checked my saddlebags. Sure enough, the deformed tiara-looking device was still there. “Got it.” I pulled Grief out and held it out to Key. “Here. You’re better at hitting things than I, and you’re unarmed. If you lead, you should probably be armed with more than your hooves.”

Erratic Key glanced at the proffered weapon, distaste obvious in his eyes. "Yeah," he said, levitating the Raider weapon out of my grip, "I'll lead." He pushed open the front door, a slight limp in his step, and I followed. The street we stepped out on to was a far cry from the more open areas I was familiar with in Uptown. it was almost paved with wagons packed close together, the shells of skycarriages littering the tops every now and again. Additionally, the streets were narrower here: whereas in Uptown you could probably have had four carriages going along the same street, here it looked like it would have been difficult for two going in opposite directions. Erratic Key began walking down the sidewalk towards the instantly-recognizable Solaris building, and I hopped up onto the wreckage of a wagon to try and get a better view.

As far as I could see in both directions, the street was no less congested than where we were. As I stared at the burnt skeleton of a long-dead pony hitched to one of the wagons, I was hit with a sudden pain of loss. Sure, hearing about the mass panic of city evacuations was one thing, but witnessing the aftermath firsthoof… I shook my head.

Focus, Disk.

I noticed Erratic Key giving me a withering look. “What are you doing!?” he shouted

I took a step back at the outburst. “Sorry, I’m just trying to get a better look at things.”

“You’re gonna get yourself seen,” he said rather calmly. “Everything in five blocks can see you from up there.”

I bowed my head, my ears drooping in shame. “Sorry…”

Erratic Key shook his head. “Stars, Disk, you’re supposed to be smart. Use your head next time!”

I was about to respond when an unfamiliar tune began playing from somewhere in the distance. My ears perked up at the sound, as did the rest of me. “What is that?”

“No fucking way,” Key said, his ears swiveling to home in on the source of the sound. “Do some good while you’re up there, and find that music.”

I followed the tune to an intersection not far from where we had started, hopping from carriage to carriage as I went. Eventually, I found the source: a small blue metallic sphere, hovering at head height on a quartet of rapidly-fluttering wings. On the front was a speaker grille, which I assumed housed the source of the music. Oddly enough, there seemed to be a pair of friendly-looking eyes painted on either side. In the middle of each of these was the unmistakable lens of a camera.

I turned to Erratic Key, an eyebrow raised in confusion. “What…?” was all I could think to say.

Erratic Key, on the other hoof, had no such reservations. “Watcher!” he yelled, striding right up to the spritebot. “Watcher! Answer me!”

I could only stare at my travelling companion, sure that he had lost his mind. However, I was more than slightly surprised when the pleasant marching music suddenly cut out.

“Oh, you made it.” The voice was tinny, distant, and unmistakably not synthesized.

“Hold on a second!” I interjected, poking Erratic Key in the side. “What’s going on here? Who is this?”

“Shut it, Disk.” Key said curtly before turning his attention back to the 'bot. “You didn't tell me that the fucking sky bled radiation here!” he pointed an accusatory hoof at the metal ball. “What the fuck!?”

“Agh!” There was the sound of something heavy hitting something else. “I knew I forgot something! Sorry; I just ha-... never mind. It slipped my mind.” The flittering robot turned to face me. “I see you’ve managed to make a friend. One of the locals, I assume?”

I nodded and held out a forehoof before realizing that the robot had no way to return the gesture and dropped it. “Hi, I’m Data Disk. PMRF Technician.” I waved my previously-extended forehoof at the spritebot. “Who are you? I don’t think we’ve met.”

The ‘bot bobbed in place. “No, we haven’t. Call me Watcher.” It turned back to Erratic Key. “I assume you have a reason for calling me.”

“How about sending me here, to start with,” Key said, glaring at the ball. “Some warning of what I was getting into would have been nice. A little hint that death falls from the sky, that robed maniacs will call for your death, anything!”

There was a staticky sound as Watcher inhaled sharply. “Robed maniacs? Did you happen to- Up. Hold on.” There was a pop, and the music returned for a few seconds before it snapped back off again. “Sorry about that. Uh, did you happen to catch any of their names?”

“They talked about the Shaper. It was only thing they mentioned at all.”

“Oh.” The finality of the statement caused lead weights to assert themselves in my stomach. “Oh, that’s not good.” There was the sound of some paper being shuffled around. “Uh… from what I’ve been able to gather, the Shaper is somepony who lives in the Downtown area of Pittspur, and his gang, the Shaper’s Hoof, are some serious bad news. From what I can tell, he’s basically trying to conquer the entire city, and his generals, the Shaper’s Six, are the ones who do it for him. I think he sees himself as some sort of competitor to Red Eye or something.” More static as Watcher sighed. “In any case, as I shouldn’t have to say, if they’re after you, be on your guard. These guys are good. I mean, they’re no Reapers, but then again, the Hoof is the exception to everything.”

“Good how?” Key asked.

“Well, that’s the thing. From all accounts, anyone who goes up against them ends up disappearing. Then some time later, it varies from case to case, they just… reappear as if nothing happened. I've tried to ask the victims about it, but none of them remember anything, despite several of them having lost their family and friends to the Shaper's Hoof.” An odd scratching sound came from the speaker. “I can’t really give you any explanation for it. My best guess is that they use some kind of mind magic, but the research the MAS did on the topic never turned up any evidence that such a thing could be practical, especially not with the frequency they seem to be using it.”

“They have a frequency? You mean for communication?”

The small ‘bot wiggled in the air. “No. I mean these disappearances happen pretty often. The MAS hypothesized that any major mind-altering magic would take the caster quite some time to recover from. Not only would she have to let her magic recharge, but she would have to come into mental contact with parts of the other pony’s psyche. That’s not something you would be able to just shake off.”

Erratic Key tapped his chin. “So these guys have a habit of kidnapping, brainwashing and then releasing those they attack? Meaning they take victims alive.” He frowned. “Fine. Where can I find them?”

The ‘bot wobbled a bit in what I imagined was its version of a shrug. “I don’t know. All I know is that most of the encounters seem to take place around the area north of the Stable.” There was a distant beeping from the speaker. “Oh nuts. Gotta go. Good luck!” With a pop, the music returned, and the robot resumed its aimless wandering.

I turned to Erratic Key. “What in the hypothetical fuck was that!?”

“Useful.” he said, a thoughtful look on his face. “We should find somewhere to hunker down. We need food, water, sleep. More information too.”

“No, really,” I moved so I was almost invading Erratic Key’s personal space. “Who was that? He seemed to know you. There’s no way that’s not important.”

He shook his head. “Watcher’s the reason I’m here. He told me about what was happening and sent me to help fix it, okay?”

I snorted in annoyance. “That’s not what I meant. From the sound of things, Watcher seems to be pretty well-connected. Who is he?"

Key just shrugged. “Hell if I know. He’s a voice inside the spritebots. That’s it. That’s all I know.”

My eyebrow made its way to the top of my face again. “Really?”

He rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Yes, Disk. I don’t know anything about the guy.”

I sighed. “Fine. But this isn’t over. When we have the time, you’re going to tell me everything. And I mean everything.” I gave a pointed look at the sack of memory orbs slung across my companion’s back. “Like you said, we need someplace to make camp.” I gestured to a store across the street, a faded picture of a grinning gryphon adorning its windows. “Does that look any good to you?” Memories of the last time I declared a place “safe” bubbled to the top of my mind.

“Nothing looks good to me,” Key responded, eyeing the store. “But it seems fine enough.”

I sighed. Pretty much anything would beat being exposed on the streets, especially if it decided to start raining again. Walking ahead of Erratic Key, I nudged open the shop’s door, on edge in case of attack. When a threat failed to materialize from the dim interior, I stepped fully inside, and then promptly wished I hadn’t. I covered my snout with a forehoof as I let Key in behind me, the stench of dead things permeating the air and soaking into my coat. “Ugh, I should have guessed. A gryphon market.” I turned back to my travelling companion. “Can we-”

I was interrupted by the sound of the storm alert siren.

I lowered my head in defeat. “Never mind…” I muttered. I turned to survey the store. It was dim, but not overly so. Most of the floor was dominated by row after row of shelves, spaced just wide enough that a pony with saddlebags (or a gryphon, as would have been more likely) would have been able to squeeze through without knocking anything off the shelves. The shelves themselves were surprisingly still in a mostly-upright position, their goods either spilled to the floor or looted long ago. On the far side of the shop sat a low counter, and it was from there that the stench of meat most strongly emanated. “If we’re lucky, there might be some wood somewhere we can use to make a platform on top of one of those downed shelves. Would you give me a hoof checking it out?”

“No,” Key said from behind me. “Find somewhere on the floor and make it yours,” he said as he walked past me and proceeded to do just that.

I pursed my lips. Following Key would mean getting closer to what I refused to acknowledge was the kitchen, but I had little choice. A light bulb flickered to life in my head as I began walking, and I stopped not two steps after I had started. Using one of the dead Raider’s pistols, a bullet, and some rope, I was able to put together a crude “trap” for the front door. Feeling rather pleased with myself, I trotted over to where Key was rummaging through the sack of memory orbs. “I’ve set it up so that if anyone opens the door, the gun will go off. It probably won’t kill them, but the noise should give us enough warning to not die immediately.”

“Sure thing, Disk,” Key croaked out from his prone position. “You’ve got some bandages in that sack of yours?”

I frowned. “No, sorry. Is your leg not hurting any less?”

“I’d just prefer not to have a gaping hole in my body exposed to air,” Key said bitterly. He sighed as he pulled a memory orb from his sack. “I’m gonna…be in here for a bit.”

I nodded. “Right. I’ll go see if I can find anything edible over there.” I gestured towards the shelves. “If it’s any help, the hole should be completely scarred over, what with the heat and the, uh…” I realized that I was just digging myself deeper. “Like I said, over there.” I made my way to the indicated area and started rummaging.

////====////

It was an hour later that Key finally stirred from his memory orb-induced trance. I pushed a half-can of water and a small box of uncooked noodles in front of him. “Welcome back. The water’s condensate from the ceiling, so it should be mostly rad-free. I can’t say the same for the noodles, though. I, uh, did what I could for food and stuff, and that’s pretty much all I could find that we can eat. Everything else is either spoiled or gryphon food.”

Key tore open the dry noodles, chomping on them ravenously. “So,” he said through a full mouth, “which way is the Stable?”

I pulled out my map that had miraculously survived the Raiders in the grocery store.

It took me a bit to find where I assumed we were. “Looks like we’re here, right on the ‘D’ in ‘danger,’ so the Stable is southeast of us.” I tapped one of the thicker lines that crossed most of the map. “I think that used to be a highway, which I’m guessing is a good place to get shot by Raiders or something. From what I’ve heard they seem to like being around major Pre-War areas.”

“Well, we should probably get a little better equipped before we head to the Stable.” Key sipped at his water as he looked over the map. “Let’s head there," he said, tapping at Solaris HQ. "See if we can’t find anything of use. You said they made weird tech right?”

I drew a breath through clenched teeth. “Well… no. Not really. Kinda. They tried to make more conventional things, but the only success they ever saw was their landmine design. That said, we would probably find something of use there. I mean, no guarantees, but it’s better than nothing.”

“Any company that created a landmine and was a major competitor of Stable-Tec has to have something of use. I don’t know about taking the major highway though.”

I nodded. “I’m assuming that’s where we’d me most likely to get attacked.” I thought for a bit, and then added, “And there’s probably not much to take cover behind. Do you have any suggestion as to how we get there, then?”

“Try and move through any and all back streets available. We should also try to keep from entering any buildings that we don’t have to.”

“Well alright then,” I said as I folded up the map again. “Sounds like we have a plan.” The rain continued to pound its rhythm into the roof as I packed it away. As I did so, my body reminded me that I had had an exhausting day as all the aches and pains that I was able to ignore for the last hour or so came back to me. “Ugh. What a day. Kidnapped and almost eaten by Raiders, mauled by other Raiders, and now stuck in a store reeking of death. Oh yeah, and it’s raining.” I sighed. “So, since we’re not really going to be doing anything else in the near future, why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself, Key?” I folded my legs under me and lied down.

“You get one question,” Erratic Key said with a sigh, lying down across from me. “You saved my life and I suppose you’ve earned at least that.”

I smiled slightly. Most of the ponies I had treated in the past didn’t really acknowledge my help, but when they did, it felt good. “Well, first of all, you could come clean about your Cutie Mar-” I leaned back as Erratic Key glared daggers at me. “...or I could ask something else.” I tapped my chin in thought. “I remember seeing the inside of some sort of shack in your memory orb, but I didn’t get to see where it actually was. So where were you when that all happened?”

“After I left Tenpony, I started to move around a pretty good bit. I found a group. Friends. An actual life,” Key looked to the side as if he was ashamed to admit this. “Precise location, I couldn’t tell you. Somewhere southeast of Tenpony. We found a group of houses. More shacks really. Some closed off suburb we decided might work. So we decided to stay there. It worked for a while. Things happened as they tend to do.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What kind of things?”

“People died. Friends died. Sometimes I wonder if I did. Either way, things fell apart after a while, and I kept moving on my own.”

“Oh.” My ears drooped in sadness, and I reached over to pat Erratic Key on the back. “I’m sorry. That must have been hard. How did you keep yourself together?”

“I did what I had to. Killed, stole, just about anything I needed to do to survive. I guess at one point you could have even called me a Raider.”

I nodded as I considered this morsel of information. It made sense once I started thinking about it. Erratic Key was violent, addicted to drugs, had no problems killing people, and had absolutely no sense of decorum, at least as far as I could tell. He was a Raider alright, just one that hadn’t decided to kill me yet. Despite this, I didn’t really feel in too much danger lying next to him. I mentally smirked as I realized something. “I guess that was more than one question, huh?”

“Your turn.” Key faced me once more as he spoke, his voice becoming stronger. “How did you first join the Followers?”

I smiled. Luckily for me, this was not an unhappy memory. “Well, I was born into them, to be quite honest. My parents, Jury Rig and Hip Flask, had been Followers for a large part of their lives. I never really thought to ask how or why they joined, really.” I frowned. “Unfortunately, they died from the Pittspur Pox before we had completed the treatment for its symptoms.”
Key looked back down to the ground. “Your turn, I guess.”

I furrowed my brow in thought. I would have loved to ask about his Cutie Mark, but that topic was apparently off-limits. “How did you find Watcher? Or did he find you?”

“Watcher found me initially. Said there was something I could actually do out here. I guess really he gave me a reason to live. I hadn’t had something to strive for in a long time, and it felt good to be doing something, to have something to work towards.” Key paused for a second. “Tart was the last one,” he said with glimmer of a smile.

I frowned as the implication of his words hit. “Was?”

“She wasn’t my niece. Not actually. She just liked to call me uncle. Her parents were my best friends, so really I was more of a godfather I suppose.” Another pause. “And yeah. Was.”

Though I had only had a short glimpse at the filly, the words still hurt like a kick to the stomach. I shook my head. “Sisters…” I said through my teeth, glancing towards the ceiling. “The Wasteland is bad enough, but don’t you think you could at least try and protect the kids? Huh? Is that too much to ask?”

“Yeah,” Key said, his voice becoming hollow. “You always try to save the kids.”

I looked back and forth between my downcast companion and the spot on the ceiling I had been addressing. “I- what? No, I was talking- never mind. Did… oh, Sisters, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to insinuate… argh!” I hit my head against the floorboards. “Just ignore me…”

“It’s alright Disk. I know what you meant.”

“Sorry, sometimes I’m just really bad at conversation.” I rubbed my forehead with a pastern where I had hit it on the floor. “Ow. And that didn’t help.” I sighed. “I just wish sometimes that none of this had ever happened, you know? Littlehorn, the megaspells, heck, even the initial discovery of coal! I would be fine not existing if it meant knowing that the world was a better place.” I heaved a sigh. “But that’s not the way things work, I know. And so life goes on, I guess.” I laid my head on the ground. “Ugh. Sometimes I wish I could just escape it all, even for a bit…”

“You can’t wish for things to have not happened,” Key said. “Ultimately, everything that has ever happened has had some form of effect on you. The war, the deaths, even the existence of the plague, has come together to produce who you are right now. You have to be content with what’s happened in the world, because that means being content with yourself. And if you’d rather just not be here, there are plenty of people out there who will oblige you.”

I shifted, trying to make the spot of floor I was inhabiting slightly comfortable. “I didn’t mean it like that, Sisters no! I just mean never having been born in the first place. Not me, my parents, their parents, all the way back to when it could all just be better.” I sighed. “But like I said, only sometimes. Most of the time, I’m glad knowing I can at least try and make the world a better place, cliche as that sounds. Even if it just means bandaging up this Wastelander or giving that one her Pox treatment…” Despite my earlier melancholy, a smile crossed my face. “When you get that smile, even if it’s not really there, even if they’re thinking it… that’s the best thing ever. That’s what I live for.”

“And do you think coming out here was the best way to do that?”

I closed my eyes in thought. “If we can get that cure out to the whole of Pittspur, then I think that whatever hell I’ll have gone through to do so will have been worth it.”

“The whole of Pitspurr,” Key glanced out the window. “You don’t think that’ll have some sort of backlash?”

I raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“Well, we’ve already established that there’s a mad dictator out here. Most of the area is covered in bandits and Raiders, none of which have any idea they’re slowly dying or whatever it is this disease does.” He returned his attention to me. “What do you think will happen when all those stand-up citizens get word that they’re all dying and their only cure is one building filled with less than a dozen doctors?”

“We’d have a massive raid on our hooves. I know. It’s one of the other problems we’re trying to solve. Dispersal of the cure has to be simple, but at the same time we need to make sure that everyone can get it without having to rush the PMRF.” I sighed. “We do have a logistics team, well, more just anyone who can spare the time, and they’re trying to figure out just how to do that.” I shook my head sadly. “Last I heard, they thought out best bet would be to somehow make a sort of gas and get it to cover the whole city, kinda like some kind of anti-Pox. I have no idea how they thought that would-”

Key put up a forehoof, stopping me. “I don’t think the rabble is what you’ll have to deal with. It’s their leader.”

I sighed again. “You mean this Shaper guy? Yeah, I’m concerned about him. I mean, I could understand if he was just some other Raider boss, but from what Watcher said, it sounds like he’s planning something. And then there’s those ponies we saw back at the Residence. An army of radiation-proof Raiders would mean an absolute nightmare.”

“You have to think about if he finds out. If anyone in any form of power finds out. Holding the sole cure of a disease hostage in exchange for service is an excellent recruitment method.”

I nodded. “Which is why, like I said back at the PMRF, the cure is super top secret. We know the risks we’re taking by keeping it as such, but we’re pretty sure the benefits outweigh the risks here.”

“There you go with that again,” Key said. “I feel like you’re going to regret those words one day, Disk. Even after you save the world you still have to live with yourself.”

I was about to respond when the pounding sound of the rain began to slacken, tapering off to a light drizzle and then finally stopping altogether in only a few moments. I shook my head. “Pittspur weather. Just can’t make up its mind, can it?”

“We should wait a while before heading out. Let the water clear out of the streets and make sure the rain won’t come back immediately. Then we should get moving.”

////====////

The trip to Solaris, in comparison to the hell we had just been through, was uneventful. There were a hooffull of Raider encampments scattered across the way, but we managed to sneak by most of them without incident.

Most of them.

“Fuck this fucking piece of shit,” Key grumped, shaking bits of Raider off the head of a now-broken Grief. “Just for once, I’d like to have a decent weapon. Maybe one of those Zebrican swords. I’ve heard they cut through ponies like a sword through a pony.”

I shook my head, sighing at Erratic Key’s analogy. “Really? As opposed to what?”

click

There as a tingling around my foreleg as I tried to continue walking, but Erratic Key’s magic held my hoof in place.

“Disk,” Key said, his voice low and calm, “I need you to stay right where you are. Okay? Just… tell you what, close your eyes.”

“Key? What… what’s going on?” I asked, panic creeping into my voice. I looked down, and the situation crystallized. Right under my hoof was a landmine.

I felt the bottom of my stomach drop out as Key’s telekinetic grip tightened.

“Key, please tell me you know how to get me out of this!” More panic. I was trying not to, but when you’re one twitch away from death, it’s difficult not to.

“Okay, okay. Data Disk, the first thing I’m gonna need is for you to trust me.” Key began walking towards me, his head sweeping the area around us. “Can you do that? I need you to think I can get you out of this and calm down. Everything is going to be just fine.”

I took a deep breath, then another. “Okay, I- I think I can do that. What do I do?”

“Close your eyes.” Key was only a foot away from me now.

“Why?”

“Disk,” he said, leaning a little closer. “Trust me.”

I took a deep breath. Just yesterday, Key ended up killing an entire building’s worth of Raiders and taking a whole mess of chems after asking me to do the same thing.

I closed my eyes, expecting the worst.

“Okay I’m gonna look at the landmine.” Key’s voice responded from somewhere near my hooves. “I want you to slightly relax your hoof for me, Disk.”

“The one you’re still holding down?”

“Yeah, that one. Just take a deep breath, and let your leg go limp. Don’t move it, just relax.”

I nodded, doing as was asked.

“Good. Now, I’m going to move your hoof.”

My eyes shot open. “You what!?”

“Step one, Disk,” Key said more harshly, forcing my hoof down more. “Now close your eyes and shut up. Do you trust me or not?”

“Yeah, I just…” I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes again. “Never mind.” I relaxed my leg once more.

“Good,” Key replied with a relieved sigh. “I’m going to move your leg. Slightly. I need to see precisely what I’m working with.”

I felt the pressure on my hoof change and felt my hoof begin to slide ever so slowly across the top of the mine.

“So do you still think…oh what was her name? Melody was it? That mare from back home you had the hots for. She worth all this?”

Key’s non sequitur took me for a loop. “Huh? Healing Medley? I don’t really- well, that is- I haven’t given it any thought, actually. I don’t think it’s a case of whether or not she likes me anymore. I think it’s more that it’s what needs to be done. Besides,” I added as an afterthought, “After meeting some of the ponies at the Residence, Medley doesn’t seem all that attractive.”

“You met her once, Disk. You ready to move one from someone I assume you’ve known for years? Is she worth all of this?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said, my face flushing.

“Don’t play the dipshit with me, Disk. You spent less than three hours in the same room with a barkeeper who sent both of us to a near death experience.”

“W-well yeah, but that doesn’t mean I suddenly have a crush on her or anything.” I rolled my (still-closed) eyes. “That would just be silly.”

“You shouldn’t,” Key said, a hint of venom in his voice. “Relationships take time. You don’t meet someone and fall for them.” His voice began to fall, becoming more and more quiet as he spoke. “You spend time with them, get to know them, find things in common and a reason to want to be with them. That’s what evolves, Disk. None of that true love, love at first sight shit. Don’t kid yourself.”

Something in his voice made me switch trains of thought. “Are you okay, Key?”

“No,” he replied flatly.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m tired,” Erratic Key said. “I’ve done a lot. A whole lot.” He paused for a moment. “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done, Disk?”

I furrowed my brow, trying to keep my eyes closed. “It’s probably going to sound petty in your experience, but I killed some ponies.” I drooped my head. “I know you said to not let it become a big deal, but I still feel bad about it.”

“Me too,” He replied softly. After a short pause, Key let our a quiet sigh. “Fine. Her name was Ore Vein.”

“Wait, you mean the mare from the orb? The one married to Circuit?”

“She wasn’t always. Me and Circuit met her at the same time. We were best friends then. Both of us wanted her as soon as we met her. She, of course, got to choose in the end.”

“What happened?”

“She died. Along with…she was….” Key sighed, and I could almost feel the emotion behind it. He didn't want to talk about this. “She died.”

My morbid curiosity was pushing me to ask more, but I couldn’t think of any delicate way to broach the subject. “I’m so sorry.” was all I could think of to say.

“Don’t be,” Key said, his voice strengthening slightly. “People die when they act stupid. Sometimes they die when the people they’re with act stupid. People die, people stay unhappy, and people keep trying to dig and find their way into something that'll make them less miserable. It’s the only thing that keeps us going.”

“People don’t have to stay unhappy forever, though. If you look, you can always find something to brighten your life, whether it’s another person, a thing, or even an ideal to strive for.” I sighed. “That’s what I want more than anything: to let the people of the Wasteland know that it’s going to get better. That there is hope, no matter what you think.”

“I know, Disk. But it’s easier said than believed. What happens when you’ve searched for years? When after so long you’ve found nothing? You can only live so long on the hope of finding something to believe in. When do you break? How long before you start to doubt?”

I frowned. “You don’t. You take what you have and you make the best of it. You keep going, and you never stop looking for that thing that makes everything worthwhile, because it is out there. It might take time to find, sure, but you'll find it eventually.”

“You can preach all you want, Disk. But you’ll doubt that one day. And that’s when it’ll start to get hard.” Erratic Key paused for a moment. “It’s a Solaris make.”

It took me a moment to figure out what Key’s sudden topic shift meant. “Uh… is that bad?”

“You know them better than I do. From what I can tell it’s a standard shrapnel detonation, pressure activated. No sign of a beeper though. Smart design. The explosion will likely fire itself almost straight up. Maximum damage to the limb and the organ-toting underbelly of the dipshit who steps on it. No offense.”

“None taken.” I felt myself start to sweat again. “What do we do?”

“Well while you were so busy talking about whether or not coming out here was a good idea and focusing on the snippets of my past, I’ve already removed it.”

I opened my eyes. Floating in front of me in a pale blue aura of magic was a landmine. I stumbled back several steps. “What the hell!?”

“You can’t get distracted by my existential bullshit, Disk.” Key floated the landmine in front of his face to get a better look at it. “Though I suppose in this situation it was rather helpful. Didn’t even notice me let go of your leg, did you?” he said, his attention focused more on the landmine than me..

“No, no I didn’t. What are you doing?”

“Checking out a landmine, what the hell does it look I’m doing?”

“But why?” I shook my head. “Never mind. We’re getting close to Solaris.” I gestured into the distance at the building. “There’s probably going to be more where those came from, as well as who-knows-what-else. How are we supposed to get there without getting blown up?”

“Watch your damn step is how,” Key said, glowering. “Take it slow and don’t step anywhere you haven’t looked yet.” He turned back to the landmine. “Now, what to do with you?”

“Maybe you should keep it, just in case.”

“You want me to walk around with an active landmine that’ll detonate as soon as I let it go?” He asked, floating the mine to rest in the air beside him. He glanced over to the landmine, a pensive look on his face.

I balked. “Uh… Key? What are you doing?”

“What? Oh, nothing,” Key rolled his eyes “Stupid idea really. Interesting, but really stupid.”

“Well then if you’re not going to keep it, then don’t just hold it there, for Sisters’ sakes! Do something with it!”

“Stars, call down Disk.” Key placed the landmine down on the ground. “Find me a rock or something will you?”

I picked up a rock and hoofed it to the unicorn, slightly confused. “What are you going to do?”

“Keep this thing from blowing up as to not attract any attention,” He floated the rock over to the mine, lowering it ever so carefully,

I held my breath as the rock touched the top of the mine, but when it failed to explode, I let out a relieved sigh. I glanced again at the tall building not five blocks away from us, determination in my mind.

////====////

After that, the rest of the trip was smooth sailing, as far as getting shot and nearly blown up were concerned, and it wasn’t long before we reached the Solaris building.

Even in the dim evening light, it was impressive: forty stories of metal beams outlined where the once-proud building stood, its glass exterior melted by the megaspell detonation. The remaining shell painted an eerie picture: with no walls to protect it, the inside of the building had been completely obliterated, leaving a wireframe portrait of a monolith. Before us stood what once used to be an entrance, the glass doors melted into a slick-looking glaze that had been shattered and scattered by hopeful looters. The ground floor was massive, easily two hundred feet to a side. In the middle of the debris scattered around the area sat a massive lump of once-melted glass.

Watching where I stepped, I began to carefully make my way towards it, curious as to what could be trapped underneath.

“Well,” Key said, “That is a big pile of shit. Can’t believe any of it is still standing.”

I continued walking, but looked back to talk to Key. “Say what you will, I’m impressed that the internal structure is still standing. Given the proximity to the crater-” I was interrupted when my hoof tapped something hard. I turned around and nearly jumped out of my skin.

There in front of me sat a group of ponies crowded around a desk, looks of absolute terror on their half-melted faces, perfectly preserved like an insect in amber. I put a hoof to my chest, heart racing. “Oh Sisters, that is horrible!”

It was then that I noticed the small hole in the glass. It was roughly hoof-sized, and formed a tunnel straight to the desk where the foremost mare sat. Despite my revulsion, I stepped forward once more to take a closer look. The hole was unnaturally smooth, almost like the glass had been re-melted as the hole had been cut. But what did this mare have that someone wanted? And why would they take it?

My mind buzzing with questions, I returned to Erratic Key. “It looks like that mare over there had something with her when she died, but someone took it. Have you ever seen anything like this before?”

“People frozen solid in their final dying states as the horrors of war and all reality come crashing to the surface, resulting in a museum of permanently-fixed terror? Nope. This is going to be a wonderful experience isn’t it?” Key asked no one in particular. “How the hell would you take something out of this without shattering it to bits anyway?”

I tapped my chin thoughtfully. “I suppose that if you had a laser of the right frequency, and you were very careful, you might be able to melt the glass. That would explain the hole’s smoothness. But what did she have? It couldn’t have been very big; the hole was barely hoof-sized.” A thought struck me. “Can I see one of your memory orbs?”

“No,” Key said, walking forward. “But I see where you’re going.” He pulled out a memory orb as he approached the hole. Sure enough, it was roughly the same the size.

“Hrm…” I once again tapped my chin. “So this mare knew or remembered something important enough to warrant digging her memory orb out of three feet of glass. Assuming that it was her memory in the first place. I wonder what-”

I was interrupted by a loud rumble from somewhere beneath my hooves. “Did you hear that?”

“If everything up above melted into glass what do you think happened to this places basement?” Key said, putting the memory orb away.

“I don’t know, but I have a feeling we’re going to find out.”

Achievements unlocked!

No Kill Like It - Get a 25x kill combo

Contact - Find Watcher in Pittspur

Somepony Set Up Us The Bomb - Defuse 50 explosive traps

Author's Note

Clockwise notes:
Erratic Key played by Galvin Starlight.

Proofread by Galvin Starlight and Doctor Ham.

As per usual, a massive thanks to Galvin Starlight, without whom this would not be possible. If you liked this story, swing by /r/FOEwriters and /r/falloutequestria to check out some other cool stories (and some cool people)!