Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash were distraught; Even after flying over all of their devoted friends on the way to the examination room, Rainbow Dash still had not remembered anything! E. U. P. ? The hay is that?! The pony who gave the Wonderbolts their names? Nada. Name at least one general. Zilch!
Rainbow Dash didn't know what to do, nor did Twilight. With just 30 minutes on the clock before the examination started, there was absolutely no way Rainbow could learn anything in time to even earn a bare pass on the exam. Rainbow was hugging a nearby cloud, tears forming on he face while Twilight was biting her lip, pacing to and fro on the clouds in anxiety, as if she were the one about to enter the hall unprepared. Suddenly, a pink form flitted from below the clouds, appearing as a fleeting pink blur then landing firmly beside Twilight and Rainbow Dash, revealing Pinkie Pie. Twilight and Rainbow's eyes went wide as Pinkie Pie donned her rap outfit (complete with hoodie and bling), and looked ready to burst into song. Before that, Rainbow burst first.
"Sorry, Pinkie!" yelled Rainbow in despair as she hugged the hooves of Pinkie, who had probably contributed the most to Rainbow's study, dishing out an MTV-worthy impromptu performance of the history of the Wonderbolts, entitled, "Wonderbolts, UH!" It was a masterpiece but unfortunately Rainbow Dash was a pleb so she couldn't understand. However, despite Rainbow's level of pleb, Pinkie seemed willing to give Rainbow a second chance, though that second chance was coming a minute too late. With just 25 minutes to go on the clock, Rainbow seemed ready to embrace her fate like the many pegasi who succumbed to their own swag: Working at McDonalds full time.
"Rainbow. Look at me. Look at me," she said slowly as Rainbow bawled into the clouds, impregnating them with pegasus tears and causing them to turn into a disconcerting shade of grey; Twilight could only helplessly look on. After about a minute of crying, Rainbow found the strength to look up.
"It's alright, Rainbow," said Pinkie, and she pressed the jewel on her heavy necklace which caused all of reality to shift. Everypony's eyes went wide as they were warped out of Equestria and into Lil Wayne's recording studio. Wayne gave a screech as the three ponies appeared out of nowhere into his recording room, which smelled of weed and fresh dollar bills.
"THE FUCK, NIGGA!" screamed Wayne as the ponies tumbled onto a big booty hoe that was owned by Wayne. He pulled out his glock and shot the big booty hoe several time in her big booty. He killed her until she was dead after twenty rounds but she died instantly after the first bullet. He smiled a yellow toothed smile, showing his teeth of metal and he put on his sunglasses in the room which was poorly lit.
"WHO DAT," screamed Wayne as he removed his sunglasses to see the colourful ponies, and he smiled as he recognised Pinkie.
"Hey, how yo Pink ass doin', PU$$Y P13!" said Lil Wayne, calling Pinkie by her rap name in euphoria as he bumped his fist onto Pinkie's hoof. Twilight and Rainbow Dash stared at him in confusion.
"Hey girls, this is Lil Wayne. I'm his waifu," said Pinkie Pie happily as Wayne bumped his fist with the other two.
"Yeah, NIGGA! Check dis," said Wayne as he pulled out an award that said 'OTP OF THE YEAR: LIL PINK'. Twilight shuddered.
"Yeah, Lil and Pink. Like Wayne's dick!" said Pinkie happily and Lil Wayne got so horny he unzipped his pants and looked ready to rap Pinkie right then and there. But Twilight stopped him.
"Look, we need a way to help Rainbow here memorise her study notes for the History of the Wonderbolts," said Twilight, and levitated some flashcards to Wayne. He picked them up and read through each one fleetingly, while Rainbow tensely watched. Lil wayne then gave a long drawl that made it seem like he was going to take a heavy shit.
"Okay, problem wit dis here notes is dat, there ain't enough Young Mullah, Swag, or Bitches. Those are the key components to studyin', said Wayne as he pulled out a sheet of blank paper which actually turned out to be legitimate hundred dollar notes stapled together through Ben Frank's nose. And thus the four beings started on the blueprint for the philosophical study method that would be emulated by future generations.
"Put a nigga here... some cash money here... 4 minutes of shout outs and intros over there..." said the master as he set about improvising. After a while, Lil wayne decided that Rainbow was ready, but she had to prove it with rapping it out. Rainbow Dash was skeptical as she read the notes but Lil Wayne reached into his butthole, pulling out a trophy covered in ass hair.
"I brush mah teeth wit dis errday. It's mai Best Rapper 4EVA trophy. If dat don't prove I'm a mastur, nuttin' will," said Wayne and from the look in his eyes, Wayne was proud of Rainbow. Rainbow shed a tear and replied softly.
"I love your cock and I want to ride it anally until I'm biting the pillow," said Rainbow, truly touched by Wayne's hands.
"Ya don't need the pillow. I fucked all mai neighbours," whispered Wayne, a tear forming in his eyes and pride filled his heart. Rainbow cleared her throat as she started the rap, while Twilight, Pinkie and Lil Wayne looked on.
Celestia violently analed Luna,
Her broken ass was jailed to the moona,
Then there were three nigga races,
The EUP, dat's Erected Urethra Pussy,
Shout out to general Firefly,
I fucked that bitch.
Shout out to Admiral Fairweather
I fucked that bitch,
Colonel Blue Waffle,
I fucked that Bitch,
Admiral Nigga fly
I coitus'd that bitch, uh!
I fucked every single Wonderbolt there is to know,
It don't fucking matter cause they still big booty hoes,
Uh.
Uh.
Uh.
Big Booty hoe.
I got stacks and money, money and stacks,
I got loads of weed and also loads of stacks
plus my nigga crew is wit me, we getting pussy,
That's the motto, nigga yolo.
"Fucking beautiful," cried Wayne. One of his big Booty Hoes that was on the floor broke the atmosphere by waking up so he pulled out his glock and silenced the bitch with a few rounds. Twilight was angry at the factual inconsistencies but Pinkie was bawling at the power of Rainbow's rap.
Just as Twilight was about to protest, Pinkie's bling started glowing and the ponies were suddenly whisked out of the recording studio, back to the examination hall. Twilight was honestly worried for Rainbow as the buzzer sounded, calling for Rainbow to come take her test. Rainbow was jittery but said a quick bye to a teary eyed Pinkie and a nervous Twilight.
SWAG transition
Twilight was waiting nervously outside of the hall, as Rainbow was in there getting her results. It was a nerve-wracking 10 minutes before Rainbow was staring at her paper, the expression on her face listless. Twilight hurried to her side and asked her what was up: If Rainbow had gotten high marks, Rainbow would have celebrated boisterously. Twilight had to conclude that the results weren't good.
On Rainbow's paper, it read 420%. Twilight and Rainbow looked back at the examiner, who tipped his OBEY cap and put on sunglasses whilst indoors and smiled a yellow gold- and silver-filled toothy grin. He put on some bling which caused him to break through the floor and towards his death due to his large increase in weight. Rainbow Dash put on some heavy bling onto Twilight which caused her to fall to her death but the death was so coincidental to the examiner's death that Rainbow had to conclude it was either Final Destination or Illuminati at work.
When Rainbow got home, she made out violently with a photo of Lil Wayne. Everybody's OTP suddenly became My Lil Waynebow.
THE END.
Author's Note
Subscribe if you want swag to grace your notifications every week. My first story, so rate, comment and sub. But even if you don't I don't care since who needs followers when you have swag? Oh yeah, and I typed all of this via my iPhone since iPhones have swag while begging on the street. So expect some mistakes here and there.
