All's Fair in Love and Prank Wars

by StarkyShy

Rating: teen
Tags: Rarity, Romance, Pinkie Pie, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 5932

A 2nd-person story starring you and pranking queen, Pinkie Pie.

(2nd Person Story.)

You had been a prankster as long as you could remember. When you moved into Ponyville, you made a friend and rival prankster, Pinkie Pie. Soon, a huge prank war ensued between the two of you. However, your recent trick has left some unexpected effects on the both of you.

Published 2011-10-23 19:26:05 UTC
Last updated 2011-11-24 21:36:30 UTC

Chapter 1-Oh, she's good.

This is war. You thought. Failure is not an option. The simplest mistake can cost you everything.

You snuck around the small town of Ponyville, hoping that she wouldn’t be there to strike. You reach into your pack, and take out a part of your food supply, a simple energy bar.

Wait, what if...You take a small bite out of it. Good, it’s not...Wow this is good...No...focus. You continue walking down the streets back to your house. Shifting your eyes back and forth to check for a surprise attack. You looked real subtle like that, with everypony walking normally down town square while you looked like everything and anything was out to get you. Yeah, subtle like a train wreck. On a boat. On fire. You looked like something was about to blow up. And if any other pony was in your horseshoes, they’d act the same way. Everypony else wasn’t aware as they happily trotted outside that Ponyville was the venue for a war. A war that might change your life forever. All you had to do was get to your house, and you’d be safe...

After 5 minutes of pure persistent panic and paranoia, you finally reached your house. Your humble 1 story house. The only real defining thing about it was that you had planted bushes as a perimeter. It wasn’t exactly a million bit mansion, but it was home. You breathed a sigh of relief as you slowly opened your door to your san-

SPLASH!

You just stood there. Your entire body soaking wet with water. You looked up and saw a bucket above the door on the outside of your house. It was painted to blend into the color of your house. The bucket had a hinge that by the looks of it, would be activated by some remote...

“Heehee...”

What was that? Where did that come from? I-it couldn’t be her, could it?

“Hee hee ha ha!”

It is her, who else could it be?

“Pinkie...” you say, “I know you’re there. Come out.”

Giggling, a pink earth pony with fluffy pink hair hopped out of your bushes. A camo hat covered in branches adorned her cranium. In her mouth, a small remote with a single button on it. Well, there’s the remote... However, it soon dropped out of her mouth when she just fell on the ground, roaring with laughter.

“Ha ha ha! Looks like I gotcha again!” The pink earth pony got out between laughs. You sighed, and gave out a few chuckles with her. She’s good...

You knew her as your frienemy, Pinkie Pie. You two were close friends. You were also currently at war with her. A prank war. It all started as a joke when you replaced the sugar with salt when you were helping her bake cookies. It was all in good fun, and then it was also all in good fun when she replaced your shampoo with green dye. The next thing you know, practically every day there was a prank going on between you two. Whether it was you putting itching powder on her blanket or her replacing your ketchup with super-spicy hot sauce, you two were always tricking each other. Every prank topping the other. Trying to get the other to give up. This war has been going on for a month now. And to be honest, some days you just wanted to surrender and end it. But at that moment, you would come up with a great prank that would always work. So you continued in the battle. But as of now, you were plotting your next strike...

Maybe if I get some whipped cream and...no, that wouldn’t work. What if I get a joy buzzer an-No, too obvious...What about getting some poison joke and...no, she already knows what happened with that...Wow, I’m running out of ideas...

“Hey! Remember me?”

You snapped out of your plotting and remembered that Pinkie was still there...And right in front of you. With her cyan eyes staring directly into yours...Wait, what are you doing? This is no time to be falling in love with the enemy! This is war, not a love story!

“O-oh yeah! Heh...you really got me good there, Pinkie!” You forced out, still planning your prank.

“Aww, I’m glad you’re still such a good sport about this!” she said, patting you on the head like you were a little foal.

Pinkie Pie, you are so random...

You smiled, this month has been really busy thanks to her. Otherwise it might have been boring day after boring day for you. Maybe when this war was over, you’d thank her for making your life more interesting...maybe. But as of now, you were still wet, and needed to dry off.

“Well, I gotta get back into my house to dry off. See ya soon, Pinkie!” Just not in a friendly way...

“Okie dokie loki! Bye bye!” And with that, the pink pony bounced off, still giggling from her trick.

You stared at her as she bounded away. It was mesmerizing to see her bounce away like that...Smiling as she didn’t have a care in the world. She looked awfully cute with that smile of hers...No, focus! You need a revenge scheme, and it needs to be big! You shook your head and trotted into your house. You had scheming to do.

Chapter 2-It's Genius!

Come on General, think! What would be a genius prank to pull?

You were up late at night, pacing back and forth through your house. The only things keeping you up were the thoughts of revenge, and the immense amount of caffeine in your coffee. Mostly the latter. But you still wanted to come up with a genius plan to get your arch pink nemesis back. The problem is that every idea you came up either was too far-fetched, too simple, too complicated, or already done.

What if I...no...How about I...no...Wait! What if I tak-no...If I got enough oatmeal...nah...they don’t sell that much. Argh! Why won’t you work, brain?

You were mentally slapping yourself trying to come up with an idea.

I need to get a plan to blow her away...Wait...blow her away...T-that’s it! I’m a genius! How come I didn’t do this earlier? All I need to do is get some chemicals that would blow up when mixed together, replaced them with some baking ingredients, and when Pinkie mixes them together, boom! She’ll get the biggest shock of her life! She’ll never expect it, I’m a genius!

You pumped your hoof into the air in victory, jumping around in celebration with what little energy you had left. And then slowly climbed on your bed and in almost an instant, fell asleep due to exhaustion.

______________________________________________________________________________

Boom!

You dash into the room and see Pinkie, with her hair all blown back like she just stood in front of a high power fan. Her face was covered in baking ingredients she was mixing together. She looked hilarious, just as you planned. You covered your mouth with your hoof, trying to stifle your laughter. But then a snort escaped you, then a giggle, and soon enough you were on the floor laughing your head off. You got up, finally finished with your laughing spree. You looked at Pinkie, who had a smirk on her face.

“Ooh, you’re good...” Was all she said to you.

You closed your eyes and began to brag. “Well, thanks, Pi-” You were cut short when you felt something press against your lips. You open your eyes to see that Pinkie locked lips with you! You wanted to protest, or question what the hay was going on, but...a part of you wanted to see where it was going. You tried to fight it, but somehow, there was some strange force preventing you from getting away.

You two broke the kiss, staring into each other’s eyes. She held you close, moved her mouth near your ear, and opened your mouth to say...
______________________________________________________________________________

You opened your eyes. “What the heck happened?” You muttered to nopony but yourself. You put a hoof to your shaking head, trying to make sense of that dream. What was all that about? Why did she do that in my dream? That’s never happened before...Maybe it’s the coffee...Yeah, definitely the coffee. I’m never taking any caffeine before bedtime again.

You trudged out of bed, waiting to get your plan in action. You brushed your mane, and headed out the door to the library to study.

______________________________________________________________________________

“Oh, hi! I recognize you. What do you need?” A purple unicorn asked you. You didn’t know her well, only meeting her a few times. That and all the things Pinkie told you about her. Your remembered that her name was Twilight Sparkle. She seemed nice, even though almost everything about her screamed total bookworm. Half of her attention was set on you, the other half on a brown book. You briefly checked the cover. 101 Ways to Impress that Special Somepony. You momentarily had a mental image of Twilight on a date at some fancy restaurant with some colt, still reading that book. You dismissed that thought. Remember what you came here for, genius.

“Well, do you have any books on chemical reactions?” You inquired.

“Ah, let me check!” Twilight looked at the shelves, and after half a minute of searching, “Aha! Found it! Chemical Reactions and Experiments: Vol 1.” Your ears perked up at the word ‘experiments’, perhaps there was section on the book where you could make explosions!

“That’s great!” You exclaimed. “I’ll take it!” You checked out the book, and rushed back to your home, excited to read and discover how you could pull of your greatest trick yet.

One hour later you reailized two things. First, this is the longest you’ve gone reading a book on your own, and second, you had found a chemical reaction that would be tame enough to shock Pinkie! And it was just a simple mix of rainbow extract and the juice of blueberries Who would’ve guessed? You tested it out on your own, small scale. First, you got a hooffull of the berries, then juiced it.. The amounts of the juice were really small. Like, they could fit into a medicine cup small. You put about a teaspoon of the first juice in a cup. Then you got the rainbow extract that you got on your birthday from Rainbow Dash. you slowly dropped a small amount in...

Poof!

You grinned. Oh, I might just have too much fun with this... You looked at the clock. You probably still had time to pull it off today! You put the blueberry juice in a milk container, adding white food coloring to make it look like milk. The extract is in a bottle, which you’ll mix into the sugar later. Grinning like an idiot, you grabbed the containers and dashed out your door to Sugarcube Corner

“Oh, hello! What brings you here?” a blue earth pony with pink hair asked you outside the door of the bakery. It was Mrs. Cake, who worked at Sugarcube Corner with her husband and Pinkie.

“Oh, I’m here to see Pinkie Pie.” You half-lied. You weren’t just there to see Pinkie, you were there to see your concoction blow up in her face. You tried to change the subject. “So, what are you doing outside?”

“Oh, Mr. Cake is taking me out for a special week and I’m supposed to meet him by the lake for our trip! I’ve got to go, Pinkie is probably in the kitchen if you need her!” and with that, she ran off. You chuckled to yourself, you still had work to do.

You walked into the kitchen, looking around for Pinkie. You couldn’t see mane nor tail of her. Huh, Mr. and Mrs. Cake are away and Pinkie is nowhere to be seen. That’s incredibly convenient! You looked around for the milk and sugar; the two ingredients you were going to mix. Let’s see, baking soda, water, eggs vanilla extract, wedding cake, key lime pie, milk, sugar, cupcakes with a note that says: For Rainbow Dash, wait go back...There it is! You grabbed the two and put them on the counter. You threw the milk carton out the window and put ‘your milk’ in the fridge. Then, you carefully poured the other rainbow extract into the sugar, taking extra care so that none of it dropped out. You checked the sugar as the extract was being poured in. Huh, it doesn’t even look that different... When you were done, you threw the bottle out the same window you threw the milk out of.

Well, mission accomplished! I’m proud of you soldier. You’ve done good, I cou-Wait, what’s that?

You were dead silent, and you heard a familiar pony singing a tune... “Charmed, fun and wild, there must be something in the water...”

It’s Pinkie Pie! Get out, darn you!

You bolted out the kitchen and hid, you couldn’t see much, but then again, it’s doubtful that anypony could see you. All you could do was wait...

“Alright! Time to go bake some cookies! Let’s see, milk...eggs...sugar...chips...” This is going to be good! Oh I can’t wait to see the look on her face when it goes kaboom in front of her! I really should’ve brought a camera, but then again, the image will probably be in my mind forever. Ok, she putting the milk in...good... You closed your eyes, fantasizing about how brilliant this will be. You deserve a medal, soldier! For stealth, wit, and being incredibly se-

BOOM!

Oh Celestia that was a big boom.

“Pinkie!”

Chapter 3-She's Already Dead! She's Already Dead...

It was raining all day in Ponyville. But you didn’t care, your tears alone could flood a town.

“We are here to honor Pinkamena Diane Pie, who is sadly not here with us anymore...” You couldn’t hear the rest through your sobs. Your heart was heavy, and your head was low. How could she go like this? It was all too soon... You stood there in front of the engraved stone, and collapsed, your hooves buried in your face, never crying this hard in your entire life.

“Ugghh...”

Wait, she’s still alive!

You snapped out of your horrifying nightmare fantasy to turn back to the waking pink pony, “Oh my goodness, are you ok?” You asked her as she came to.

“W-what happened?” she moaned, rubbing her head from the pain.

You checked the mare, her hair was all frizzled from the blast, her skin was covered in baking ingredients. And her eyes, she looked like she was about to cry. You just...wanted...to...

Lost in the moment, you grabbed her and held her tight against you. And for a moment there, everything was alright. You didn’t care that the kitchen was in a wreck, or that Pinkie might have serious injuries, or how much trouble you were going to be in if somepony arrived at the moment in time, or the fact that you left the lights on at home. Cripes... All that mattered to you was that she was ok, and you were there. And for that moment, you wished that all time stood still just for that moment.

But of course this wish couldn’t come true. As Pinkie opened her mouth to say...

“Um...who are you?” She asks.

Your heart skipped a beat and your embrace broke. Did she just ask who you were? Did she forget her friend and prank war rival? No, that’s impossible! I simply must have misheard that...yeah!

“Come to think of it, who am I?” Oh horseapples.

“Y-you mean, you don’t know who you are?” You asked, hoping that this wasn’t your mind going crazy.

She put a hoof to her chin, and cringed. “Sorry, I can’t remember...Ow...” Pinkie clutched the back of her head in pain.

You rushed to her side, holding her back up so she doesn’t fall. “Hold on, Let me help you.” With a grunt, you picked her up and carried her upstairs to her bedroom.

“Hup! Ahhh.” you plopped Pinkie on her bed, exhausted. For once since this entire fiasco, Pinkie smiled. “Well, thanks a lot; whoever you are...” Strangely, her smiling is calming to you. It made you feel reassured that something good came out of this, despite all that happened You sighed, you might as well try to jog her memory a bit in hopes that it works. You told her what her name was over and over again, you told her about herself, trying to get her memory back. But all you got was a shrug from the party loving pink pony, explaining that she had no idea who you were talking about. You tried to remind her of recent events that happened in your now postponed war, but to no avail. Now desperate, you tried to remind her about anything, you, the Cakes, her other 5 friends...ectetera ectetera...And all that lead to...”Can’t remember, sorry...”

You were about to slam your head into the wall in frustration when you heard “Ow... M-my head hurts...” Your ears perked up at this, “Hold on, let me get something...” you called out as you galloped downstairs to get a bag of ice.

Well, nice job, genius. You blew a girl up and now she has amnesia. Way. To. Go. Why does your life have to be so hard? Where’s the bag... I mean, look at your brother, he’s a freakin violin player! He’s got 2 front hooves, so do you, how come you can’t do the same? Huh? HUH? Wow this ice is really cold... Now she might have brain damage, the kitchen’s a wreck, and Mr. and Mrs. Cake won’t be here for a week to help! Ooh, almost tripped. Gah, I really want Pinkie to be ok...if she leaves, I don’t know what I’d do. It’s not even because of the war, it’s just...I really want her to stay...with...me...

“Pmmkmmph... Ahm Gomm smmp ummss frr ymmm...” You mumbled with your mouth full of a bag of cold ice.

You gently placed the bag on her forehead, and she sighed in relief. For some reason, the sound of her being happy was mellifluous to you...Well, I’m glad she’s not in pain anymore, and why the hay do I know what mellifluous means?

You started trotting downstairs, about to leave to get her medical help when... “W-wait! Where are you going?” You turned, and saw Pinkie with her hoof reached out towards you, as if she could grab you from there. You turned around, not wanting to be less of a gentlecolt for leaving her if she needed you. You sat on her bed.

“Pinkie, I’m just going to get help so you can get better...”

“Please stay...”

“Pinkie, I-”

“Pleeeeeease?” She looked into your eyes, a look of pure innocence and pleading in them. Your brain was fighting with your heart. Say no, darn it, say no! She needs help, and she’s not gonna get it by you staying he-

“Alright, I’ll stay.” Darn.

She grabbed your arm in a hug, like a small filly would with a plushie. her eyes now closed and resting on her pillow.

“T-thanks...” She yawned, and her breathing slowed down. You sat there, just watching her sleep for a good 5 minutes. You had to admit, you didn’t really want this to end. A small part of you wanted to stay and have her hold you. You shook your head. Why the hay am I doing this? I don’t get it. I haven’t felt this before...Maybe I’m in lo-

Your train of thought was interrupted when you moved your arm, and realized you didn’t feel Pinkie clutching it. You took that as your cue to quietly leave. It’s for her own good... You told yourself as you slowly tip-hoofed down the stairs to the Ponyville Medical Center.
______________________________________________________________________________

“She’s upstairs, Doctor. I found her and she said she couldn’t remember anything. I put her in bed and gave her a bag of ice.” You fibbed to a brown earth pony with an hourglass adorning his flank, trying to ignore the mess still in the kitchen. You sat down near the stairs, hoping that nothing serious happened to Pinkie. You took this time to close your eyes and think...

I really hope she’s ok...I don’t know what I’d do if something bad happened to her. Jeez...why is it that now I care this much about her? I mean, it’s not like she hasn’t been injured before...like that time with the electric buzzer, and the time with the can of springs, and that time with the oatme-No! Never think of that moment again! ...Where was I? Oh yeah. She’s suffered worse, so why do I care so much for her now? Why is it that I care so much for her now? Why I just want to know that she’s happy? Maybe...Maybe I want her to be more than a friend to me...Maybe I-

You heard the sound of hoofsteps going down the stairs. You turned your head to see the doctor. “So, how is she? Does she have a concussion? Is she going to die?” You anxiously asked.

“Well, I woke her up and talked to her. She’s just got a mild case of post-traumatic amnesia. No serious injuries other than a few bruises at the back of the head, and very minor burns on her neck and chest. At the very most, she’ll regain her memory in about 1 week. She’s asleep, so try not to disturb her.” He gave you a note with a bill for his diagnosis and service.

One wallet sob later, you thanked the doctor as he left, and started up the stairs to see Pinkie. You silently made your way to her, looking over her as she was in slumberland. Her blanket covering everything except her forehooves and head. She was faintly smiling, probably dreaming of something wonderful. Sleeping as if nothing was wrong. If only. You wish you could join her being blissful, but you had to make sure she would recover soon. You backed away from her, doctor’s orders to not disturb her.

You felt something inside of you, a feeling of realization. Like you knew what would happen next, or that you knew something deep in your heart. Your brain made the click as you had your epiphany.

Dah! Lights are still on at home!

Chapter 4-Turnabout Prank Wars

Day after day, you’ve visited her. It always was the same routine. You’d visit her, and ask how she’s doing. In fact, you were the only one that visited her daily. Sometimes you’d be there with Twilight or Rainbow Dash or one of her other friends, but you alone went every day to visit her. Even going so far as to bring her little gifts now and again. It might have been a guilt thing, but you were always there for her. And during those visits, something inside of you kept building up. No matter how hard you tried to push it down, it just came back stronger. No matter how you worded it, it always would end up the same.

It’s only because I’m taking care of her. Like a mother to a child. And the mother...loves...the...child...Like...er...uh...darn. Now you couldn’t deny it.

You had fallen in love with Pinkamena Diane Pie.

How you had developed these feelings, you had no exact idea. Maybe it was because you took the role of caretaker and just wanted to see her happy, maybe it was of how cute she was, and you just liked her looks, maybe it started the day you met her and it just grew from there. Whatever the reason, it was clear now. You looked at your calendar, it was the day Pinkie’s amnesia was supposed to wear off completely. Luckily, Pinkie’s memory seemed to grow back gradually, remembering Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, Gummy...Yeah, everyone except you. She recognized your face, but barely remembered who you were. As you exited your door on your way to see Pinkie, your brain started fighting with itself.

What if she doesn’t love me? What if she still doesn’t even remember me entirely? No, don’t be ridiculous. She will remember you. But still, what if she doesn’t love me back? Who cares? You need to get this thing off your chest. But what if she laughs at you? And all her friends laugh at you? No, that’s being ridiculous. She’d never...but what if she does? Just do it, dude. Do it right now! Tell her, and if she doesn’t remember you, she probably won’t remember what you said, and if she does remember you today, that’s great!

You were at the door again. This time, you were here to see Pinkie for another reason. As you walked up the stairs to her room, it seemed that your brain stopped thinking and something else kicked in and started doing everything for you. You got upstairs to see Pinkie, playing with Gummy who was biting a balloon.

“Pinkie, I need to tell you something.”

“Ok, what is it?”

“Pinkie...” You started, your brain finally started working, and then started fighting. Stop yourself right now, and maybe it won’t be too late.
“The thing is...Well...Uh...” You had never had so much trouble with your words since you were a foal in the school’s spelling bee. “I...Um...”

You have no idea what compelled you to do what happened next.

You moved in close to Pinkie Pie, and planted your lips on hers. You felt your heart race faster than the speed of sound, and yet all time stopped for you. Your brain shut off and you let your body take control, enjoying the feeling of Pinkie’s lips touching yours. You closed your eyes and adrenaline rushed through your body making your tail unconsciously wag.

What surprised you is how amazing you felt. It was if you were flying and your body was made of helium, and you were just going higher. What also surprised you is that Pinkie made no attempt to break the kiss.

You finally released your lips to get air, your face completely red with embarrassment, hoping that Pinkie didn’t hate you.

Oh damnit why did I do that?

You both stood there awkwardly, none of you moving a single muscle, none of you making eye contact. After 5 minutes of pure uncomfortable silence, Pinkie decides to speak.

“...You had a lot to say, didn’t you...rival?”

That word ‘rival’ rang through your head. You remembered the only times she used that word was after one of you pulled a prank...That means...

“You remembered?”

Pinkie brushed one hoof with her other. “Well, it seems that it’s time that I have to tell you something...See, I never had amnesia in the first place.”

Wait what now?

“You see, it all started when you accidentally blew me up...” You cringed, remembering that horrible memory. Pinkie continued.

“I sure didn’t expect it, but I figured it was the work of you. So, I quickly planned a counter-prank as I lay there after the giant boom! So, I faked amnesia to trick you, but I guess that something else I didn’t expect happen.”

“Wait, what now?” You shouted, your mind trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

“Well, I expected you to just feel really guilty, but...I never really expected you to really care about me...I’ve liked you...a lot...for a long time.” You could see the blush growing on her face, but your brain was a bit to busy frying trying to comprehend the fact that the entire past week was a giant counter-prank. “And...with all the time you took taking care of me, I hoped that...well...you really liked me too...”

You just stood immobile, completely dumbfounded, your mouth agape in disbelief, your eye involuntarily twitching, your brai-yeah, it’s short circuiting. Oh my, i-it’s setting off sparks like crazy! Dude, I’m serious; your brain is almost on fire. You couldn’t believe it. Not only did Pinkie pull a massive prank on you, but also you just realized that Pinkie was in love with you as you were in love with her.

“So...will this make up for all of this?” As soon as those words left the mare’s mouth, she took you by the cheeks and locked lips with yours. Your brain finally started working, and despite all that happened, you felt pretty good. Your doubtful feelings were gone, and for the time being, everything was alright.

You closed your eyes, and let the feeling of Pinkie kissing you take over your body. You felt Pinkie’s hooves moving from your face down your neck, eventually wrapping themselves around your back gently rubbing themselves up and down your fur. You poked your tongue through your lips and entered her’s, loving the taste of her sugary mouth. You felt your tongue gingerly tap Pinkie’s, and soon you felt both your tongue rubbing against each other. You moved one of your hooves and waved it blindly, searching for Pinkie’s body. You made contact with her body, and slowly traced down her side, feeling her shiver with your touch. Eventually, you two had to stop, taking a big gasp for breath.

You two looked at each other, a smile adorning both your faces. You let out a relaxed sigh.

“Yes, Pinkie. I... guess it does.”

Pinkie blushed and grinned from ear to ear.

“Oh, good! I...I guess I was afraid that you wouldn’t like me if I said that...I loved you...” Her grin changed to one of embarrassment.

“Pinkie, it’s alright now. You said you loved me, and well...I said I loved you. And...uh...” You forgot where you were going with that statement. Such a way with words.

“Well, we both said we loved each other, right?” Pinkie tried to rerail your train of thought.

“Y-yeah...”

“And that’s all that matters, right?”

You gave a weak grin. “Yeah, that’s all that matters...”

You placed your hoof around Pinkie’s shoulder, holding her close to you. As your cheek made contact with hers, you remembered something. Something that you hated to admit was true. Pinkie Pie still bested you in the Prank War. You sighed. You didn’t want to surrender, but you had to admit, your new fillyfriend did something you may never top.

“Pinkamena Diane Pie...”

“Yeah?”

You lay your head on her shoulder. “I concede. You’re the superior pranker.”

She giggled her trademark giggle. “I knew you would.” You stayed in her bedroom for the rest of the day snuggling her, but at the same time, dreading the consequences of war.

Conclusion-Game Over

“Are you ready, darling?” you heard a voice calling you while you had your head buried in your hooves.

“Yes, Rarity...” You moaned. How did I get into this?

“Well, walk into the room, so you can see your new outfit!~” you walked in, closing your eyes, bracing for the worst. “You can open your eyes, I didn’t tell you to close them!” Rarity chuckled. You didn’t want to open your eyes at all. You knew the second you opened your eyes, you’d see something horrible.

“Come on, open em up!” You heard another voice say. It was Pinkie. Oh Celestia, if she designed it, it couldn’t be good. You gulped and opened your eyes.

Oh. No.

You looked at the dress in front of you. There were frills and flowers everywhere. You had never seen so much pink in your entire life. You had seen less pink on Pinkie Pie, and she had ‘pink’ in her own damn name! And the worst part is...you had to walk around Ponyville in it. As of the rules of the prank war, loser had to do whatever the winner wanted for one full hour. And as soon as you walked out that door, that hour started.

If you had your father’s wings, you’d be in the Fillypines by now.

But, since you were born an earth pony, you had to do this. You took your gaze off the dress, and looked outside Carousel Boutique. There was a small crowd gathering. All waiting for your big stroll around town.

Please send me to the moon now, Celestia...

You groaned, “Alright, let’s get this over with...”

☀☀☀

How do mares wear this stuff? It’s uncomfortable almost everywhere!

You stood at the door, feeling like a foal on the first day of school. You looked to your right to see Pinkie Pie.

With a camera.

Already recording.

DAMN. IT. ALL.

“You ready?” Pinkie asked you, grinning. “You could ask that a billion times, and I would still say no, Pinkie.” You replied flatly. “Well, are you ready...” she gave you a quick kiss on the lips. “...now?” You can run away right now. Just jump out the window, hide in the bushes, and take it off. You can move to somewhere like Stalliongrad or somthing or- “Sure...” You sighed. Why do you never listen to me?

You opened the door, walked outside, and accepted your fate.

I have fallen in war. My skills were not enough for my opponent, and I had forfieted. Today, I am under the effects of the treaty. I had said that the simplest mistake can cost everything. However, I still wonder if what I did is a mistake. Was getting this really worth the consequence?

You turned to see Pinkie Pie as happy as can be. At times I say yes, You turned your eyes at her camera, still recording. ...at times I say no. But what matters now is that there’s no turning back.

Your eyes scanned the crowd of laughing ponies. Each one having the time of their lives at your own expense. There was however, one pony not laughing at you. A red stallion with a look that says, “I’ve been there before, brother. It’s not fun.”

You turned to the pink mare beside you, “I am so getting revenge after this.” You said with a conniving smirk. Pinkie nuzzled your cheek, “I wouldn’t expect anything less than my rival.”

You sighed and continued on your walk of shame. You had a long way to go...

♥♥♥

“...Pinkie?”

“Yeah?”

“Did we remove the ingredients that made you blow up? The milk and the sugar?”

“...I thought you removed them!”

“And since Mr. and Mrs. Cake are back and are about to get back to work and start filling in orders...”

“...”

“OH NO!”

Alternate Ending-Pain and Suffering

“Pinkamena Diane Pie...”

“Yeah?”

You lay your head on her shoulder. “I concede. You’re the superior pranker.”

She giggled her trademark giggle. “I knew you would.” You stayed in her bedroom for the rest of the day snuggling her, but at the same time, dreading the consequences of war.

☼☀☽

“...Well, I better get home and...prepare for whatever horrible thing you’ve planned for me.” You said, making a small groan finishing that sentence.

“Okie dokie loki! I’ll go to Rarity’s so we can start designing!”

I hate this already, and it didn’t even start.

You made your way to the stairs, on your way home.

“See you soon, Pinkie Pi-AAAAH!”

Then you lost your footing.

“OW! GAH! OW! AAH! OW! OW! OW! AACK! MOTHER F-AH!”

SYSTEM ERROR.
SYSTEM HAS CRASHED.
ATTEMPTING SYSTEM RECOVERY
…
…
…
SYSTEM RECOVERY HAS FAILED
SYSTEM REBOOT. FILES MAY BE LOST.

“Ugghh...”

“Ohmygoodnessohmygoodnessohmygoodness are you ok?”

FILES HAVE BEEN DELETED. ATTEMPT RECOVERY?

YES
RECOVERING: MEMORIES (Estimated time of completion: 8 days)

“Who are you?”