The Loser's Booth

by Pickleless

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Changelings, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, Princess Celestia, DJ P0N-3
Length: 30307

A pegasus filly, a bipolar unicorn, and a changeling walk into a bar.

A pegasus filly, a bipolar unicorn, and a changeling walk into a bar.

Published 2014-04-06 09:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-18 00:32:29 UTC

Hitting Rock Bottom

8 PM. The night was young. The Filly wandered down the back streets of Canterlot with her head hung low. Slowly trotting along business district. She quietly took note on how well each store seemed to be doing, quickly noting which stores her taxes should be helping out possibly, while showing disdain towards some of the more...shady ones. 'Not that that is my job anymore...or rather, it never was my job to begin with.' With that thought, her heart plummeted, and she continued on her way. It wasn't all that bad. Life is what you make of it. And she could definitely make something of it. She happened to remember where some of the higher quality orphanages are. After admitting herself to one, she might be able to afford herself a therapist possibly. She may me broken, but admitting you have a problem is the first step to fixing things. Speaking of orphanages, maybe she should-that's not her job anymore. No, it wasn't her job in the first place. She had to stop thinking about these kind of things.

The Filly heard a loud yell from behind her knocking her loose from her thoughts. Looking behind her, she saw two changelings break into a fight in a low lit alleyway. Blinking, she rubbed her eyes and looked again. Two normal stallions, fighting. Grimacing, she took a deep breath, and forced herself to calm down. The first thing she felt she should do was inform a royal guard. Much to her frustration, the only ones around were ponies out late at night avoiding their eyes to the mess. There's too many ponies who have gotten seriously injured in a fight like this. All starting due to fool's pride or a slip of the tongue. She would personally have to...see to her own safety. Because she's a small filly and getting into their fight would be a stupid idea. The filly sighed. Not wanting to leave the business street into darker, more isolated locations, she looked around for a establishment that she could safely hide in until the fight was over.

If she was thinking straight she would have laughed at the idea of hiding in a bar. But for some reason, against her best judgement she hurried into the Loser's Booth.

Looking around, the Filly was surprised. The outside of the bar was shoddy. Rusty nailed wood planks with the paint peeling. orange walls with a purple roof, clashing in a not very pleasant manner. Even with the brief glimpse she got at the building, she could see more than a few holes in the roof. Probably many more if she stopped to study it. The inside on the other hand... A fine red carpet lead inside. the floor seemed to be made of polished marble, fine enough to eat off of. Curiously enough, in contrast to the walls outside. The ones inside were a finely polished brown. The flooring consisted of a dark blue carpet, with gold trimmings. to top it all off, all of the lighting in the bar came from candles. The filly wondered if she accidentally walked into a high class restaurant inside of a run down bar.

"A filly?..."

With a jolt, the Filly slowly turned around to see a old unicorn in a suit. Most likely the cashier or a host. He stared at her with grim look on is face.

"My most sincere apologies." The Filly said, bowing her head. "A fight broke out in the streets and I was simply looking a place to hide for a moment. Please forgive me for the inconvenience."

"...No, your arrival was not by chance dear child. Yet," The stallion shook his head. "a Filly?.."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Tell me, my little pony. Have you been having a terrible time lately?"
The Filly wore a sad, small smile. "Yes, I suppose that wouldn't be too hard to guess, by simply looking at me."

The Filly had a pure white coat, packed with dirt. Her light pink mane was a tangled mess; And her feathers were out of place, badly needing to preened. Her hooves were chipped and her tail had chunks of mud in it. Worse of all, was the empty look in her eyes.

"Yes, there is no question about it. You walking here was destined to happen. Please take a seat in...booth thirteen." The stallion pointed towards the booths on the left wall.

"Destined?" The Filly questioned. "Wait, no. I'm sorry sir, I have no bits on me. I'm afraid I'm not a customer."

"The first time you come to the Loser's booth, it's free." The stallion said with a gentle smile. Please, you look hungry, sit down and relax."

An establishment where the first time you visit, it's for free? How would they ever keep track of who's come or not? Customers' first time being free raises a few warning bells. Especially with that destiny part...but, a stallion trying to subtly feed a homeless filly is a lot less suspicious. Choosing to swallow her pride. The Filly gracefully bowed to the Gentlecolt.

"Thank you very much for your hospitality."

The Stallion gave a hearty laugh. "It's no problem at all young mare! You wouldn't want to keep your friend waiting. Hurry along now!"

Confused, the Filly quietly trotted towards the thirteen booth. All the booths had a light blue curtain around them. Giving each of ponies inside privacy. Pulling back her curtain, the Filly's trained eye recognized the tables and chairs were made of mahogany. She spotted a young stallion unicorn inside. Muttering to himself.

"Good evening." The Filly quietly said.

"As fate frowns upon me. Scowling. Any fortune that has come my way shall surely be taken and given to her. Regardless of how hard you try or how far you go. Destiny will always play favorites."

"Are you feeling alright?"

"The only ones showing kindness towards me being a mysterious old creepy stallion and strangely polite little filly. Everyone is out to get me. It doesn't matter where I go or what I do. Someone will do everything in their power to bring me down."

"I'm going to have a seat, if you don't mind."

"Tonight, it all ends. In a mystical fancy bar with a filly and more alcohol than I care to keep track of. With liquid courage. I shall break into Canterlot castle and put on a show whether they like it or not. Whether SHE likes it or not. It'll be my grand finale."

Somewhat nervous, the filly waiting for the promise meal. The Old Stallion came in brought the muttering unicorn a mug of beer. Next, he put a salad and a glass of milk in front of the little filly.

"Thank you sir." The Filly said, giving a gentle smile.

"No problem at all, dear. Your other friend shall be here shortly."

"My other friend? I wasn't expecting-"

The bell at the bar's front door rang.

"Oh, that must be him now. Excuse me."

Waiting for a minute. The Filly watched as the third guest came through the curtain. She could not believe her eyes. It was a changeling. A very bloody, messed up changeling with a dead look in it's eyes. It looked at the muttering unicorn for a second, and then proceeded to stare at the filly for a whole minute. The filly proceeded to open her mouth. Stop, and then close it over and over again during that minute. Quietly, the Changeling sat down next to the filly.

"Hey kid." The Changeling said, sounding bitter. "Notice how you're not dead?"

"...Yes?" The Filly quietly replied.

"You're welcome."

"Misery seems to enjoy the odd sort. As I drown my sorrows with a child and a demon. I can't help but feel as if this a symbolic projection of my life. How I tackle my dreams with childlike optimism, only to have the cold, hard rules of reality crash down on me. Reminding me of who am I and where my place is, where my place shall always be. That is, except for tonight. Tonight, I shall..."

"Great." Said the Changeling, staring at the Unicorn. "Just what I needed tonight. A pessimistic, muttering drunk. Awesome."

The Filly frowned, perhaps it would be best if she left now-

"Now that you all are here," The Old Stallion said, coming through the curtains. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Fine Wine. And you all are?

Looking around, the Filly saw the Changeling staring at Fine Wine, and the Unicorn muttering to himself still. Seeing as no one else was going to go first...

"I am prin..." The Filly stopped. "...I am Celes. It is a pleasure to meet you all."

The changeling simply stared at Celes, and then back at Fine Wine. "I'm Elmer." The changeling said bluntly. "Hi."

"I am the one and only Electric Koolaid. No, I am not a clown. I am a DJ. No, I am not a fan of DJ Pon-3. She did not inspire me. I am not copying her. I don't want lots of job opportunities, I just want some. A little, that's all. Any ones I get always end up getting stolen by her anyway. It's not like any of it matters anymore. After tonight, it's all going to end..."

"Celes, Elmer, and Mr. Koolaid." Fine Wine said with a smile. "Welcome to the Loser's Booth."

"Wow, sounds like a great place to be." Elmer snarked. "Why are we here again?"

"Because," Stallion cheerily raised a hoof. "You three are the most miserable ponies in all of Equestria at the moment. Not also that, you three all have something in common."

"And pray tell, what would that be?"

"Well that would ruin the surprise now wouldn't it?" Fine Wine pulled out a bag of bits and gently put them down in front of Celes. "A little gift, from me."

"Thank you very much sir, but I can't accept this." Celes said, pushing it back towards him.

"Take it dear! You'll need it for tonight! Now allow me to explain the rules of the Loser Booth." Fine Wine cleared his throat. "You all have had a terrible twist in fate recently. Now, you are all at the lowest points in your lives. Ponies who were about to commit suicide. Ponies having the royal guard waiting to arrest them. Those who have tragically lost loved ones. All these ponies eventually find their way here."

"The first time you visit the Loser's Booth, it's on the house. Coming back will cost you 100 bits for a booth. Drinks and food are free. Inside the booth, you will find yourself with others who have also suffered. Each of you will bet on how much worse you believe your story is compared to each others. Whoever has suffered the most wins the pot." Fine Wine places a large golden bowl in the middle of the table. "May the biggest loser win."

Even Electric was staring at Fine Wine is disbelief.

"We...are to use our misery as means to make money? Betting?" Celes asked, just to make sure.

"Yes! You got it! That is exactly why you need that bag of bits!" He said, pushing it back towards her.

"What kind of messed up place is this?!?" Elmer said, slamming his fist down. "If people who were going to commit suicide came in here, wouldn't this be horrible for them? How many people have killed themselves afterwards from coming here?!?"

"None have." Fine Wine simply replied. "You might find it soothing to share your woes with others. Also, the surprise I was talking about may have something to do with that. All who have come here leave either happy, or determined, and always together."

No one knew what to say to that.

"I'll leave you three to yourselves. Take as much time as you need. We're open 24/7!" Fine Wine said, leaving.

Celes simply stared at the bag of bits in front of her. Slowly, she opened it up and dumped out the whole bag. Making a quick estimation, she guessed their was about 200 bits or so in the bag. She stared at the bits calmly for a few seconds, then sighed. Quietly, she put all the bits into the pot.

"If no one else wants to, I suppose I would be willing to go first." Celes offered.

Elmer simply gave her a shrug, and emptied his bag of bits into the pot. Electric did the same and dropped his head against the table. But then tilted his head up to keep an eye on her, showing he was paying attention.

"Very well then..."

Nostalgic Blues

"Ow! Why did you hit me?!?" The small white filly yelled. Her mother just happened to give her a light swat on the back of her head. Then proceeded to swat her again. "Ah, ah! Why are you still hitting me!?! Ow!"

"When you're under attack Sunshine, the enemy will not wait for you stop and take your time." The Alicorn Queen chided. "When I attack you like this, the first thing you should do is make yourself safe. Loving Frost gave her daughter another swat. "Until you do something, I will continue swatting you."

"Ahhhhh!!!" Celestia ran as fast as her legs could carry her.

The first thing Celestia saw was green. Bright green everywhere. Shielding her eyes, she tried to make out the dark shapes that surrounded her as the light faded.

They were changelings.

Without even thinking, Celestia jumped back and flew about ten feet from the group surrounding her. She began to charge her horn. At least, that's what she tried to do. What actually happened was she jumped backwards and landed flat on her back, hitting her head. She made almost no distance at all. Taking a second to see what went wrong, she noticed five things.

All the changelings were three times her size.

EVERYTHING was about five times it's original size.

Her horn was missing.

Her wings weren't responding.

All of them were staring at her in shock.

Taking advantage of the lull, Celestia did what she felt was the best choice available at the moment. She ran like heck. With a scream of outrage, the changelings quickly gave chase. Celestia very quickly found out that the Changelings were somehow much faster than her. Looking around for anything that could get her out of this situation, her thoughts were interrupted by a scream.

"GET AWAY FROM THAT CHILD YOU FOUL MONSTERS! I'LL TEACH ALL OF YOU DEMON IMPOSTERS!!!"

Celestia looked back and saw...the air become a burst of colors. All the changelings were now stumbling around with wide eyes and a strange look on their face. Some of the colorful air headed towards Celestia and got in her mouth. It's very rare for something new to happen to Celestia. If she wasn't scared for her life, she would be amused to say she can now tell you what the color green tasted like.

And then everything became purple for about five seconds.

The next thing Celestia knew, she was being carried by a changeling away from the fight. Shifting around in it's hooves, she bucked it's underbelly with all four of her legs. The changeling dropped Celestia in surprise. She saw the maze nearby and ran right towards it.

"YOU'RE WELCOME!!!" The changeling yelled after her.

Hiding in a nearby bush, Celestia stopped and caught her breath. How did this happen? Yesterday she was preparing for the summer sun celebration. She was setting up entertainment for the night before, when... When... Everything's a blank spot after that. The next thing she could remember is bright green. Which leads up to now. Something must've happened to her body. She can't fly, she can't use magic, and she's much weaker than she was before. Remembering a pool nearby in the maze, she headed towards there.

Moving quietly, but quickly, Celestia hurried along the maze. Twisting and turning with years of experience navigating the labyrinth. She stopped when she saw a royal guard. Celestia's first reaction was to call out for help, but then she remembered what she was dealing with. Celestia examined the path the guard . A straight line for a good deal ahead. Taking a moment to form a plan in her head. She clutched a small amount of dirt in her hoof and ran forward in a panicked manner.

"Mister! Mister!" Celestia said, sounding like a scared child.

"Are you alright?!?" The guard asked with concern, more importantly, sincerity. Celestia smiled.

"I was just assaulted by changelings. Please inform the rest of your squad and Princess Luna that changelings have invaded Canterlot."

"Changelings?!? Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am certain. I had a clear look at them."

The Guard's horn lit up a sickly green. "Alice, Jessica, this is Bob. Get over here, I found the decoy."

"A shame." Celestia mused, throwing dirt into the guard's eyes.

The guard reared up with a startled cry. Celestia ran back about a foot and then jumped into the hedge nearby, staying perfectly still. After clearing out his eyes, the guard ran past her down the maze. Celestia jumped out the bush and proceeded to head in the opposite direction. Luckily, as she planned, the direction happened to be heading towards the pond. She shortly found herself in front of the water. She looked down and stared at her reflection. She closed her eyes a took a slow, deep breath.

"BOO!"

"AHHHHH!!!" Celestia screamed, jumping about three feet into the air. "Why!.." Celestia stopped, and glared at Frost. "What are you trying to teach me THIS time?"

Her mother chuckled. "Even when you're not under attack my Sunshine, there will be things that will surprise you. When you are startled, try to keep a calm demeanor on your face. Instead of panicking, try to train yourself to take a deep breath whenever you're startled.

Celestia continued to stare at her Mom for a few seconds. "You just like pranking me don't you?"

"Oh Sunshine." Loving laughed. "Of COURSE I do. It runs in the family!"

Deep breath. In and out. In and out. Slowly, Celestia opened her eyes. Staring back at her was a little filly with a bright pink mane and tail. She had no horn, and her wings were small and undeveloped. A unfitting somber look was on her cute tiny face, her frown becoming more wistful as she continued to examine herself. She had a toddler like chubbiness to her, something her mother worked out of her with all her pranking. Of course if she cursed to be a filly again, she wouldn't happen to be in the shape she was as a child. That would definitely explain how tired she was feeling.

"Hey, Lil' Filly!"

Celestia turned and saw a stallion she recognized around the castle. The royal treasurer, Rusty Socket. Of course, if he was actually Rusty Socket at all. It would make absolutely no sense for Rusty to be out in the maze. Most likely a changeling. Celestia recalled Twilight's story on their fight with the Changelings. Interestingly enough, Fluttershy was able to trick them into thinking she was one of theirs. With no better idea on hoof...

"Did you find the filly?" Celestia said with a scowl.

"What?" Rusty said, looking confused.

"Then why are you bothering me?!? Keep looking!"

"Forgive me sir, but... Why are you disguised as her?"

Celestia was really hoping changelings were the mindless drone type. She groaned and slapped her hoof against her forehead to buy herself some time to think. Glaring at the changeling for second, she spoke.

"Didn't you get the order!?! There's no way she could've escaped without help! Some of us are pretending to be her in hopes of luring out her allies!"

"My apologies sir!" Rusty saluted. "I was unaware. I will continue my search!"

"Good." Celestia grunted. "Now go!"

The changeling hurried off to the left path, leading towards the castle. Celestia sighed. Changelings were invading once more. They have already infiltrated the Royal Guard. She was stuck in the body of a filly. The Summer Sun Celebration party was tonight. Worst of all, she didn't get any coffee this morning.

Celestia hated Mondays.

Going down the path the changeling went, Celestia worked her way towards the castle. She had to warn Luna. After a few more close calls, Celestia stood at a castle wall, staring a balcony opening that lead to her room. Celestia always kept her window unlocked. The idea that she could always fly away from all of this brought her some comfort. Especially on more taxing nights. Besides, it's not like there was anything anypony could do to the goddess of the sun. In hindsight, looking at herself now, she probably should've kept that window closed. She spread her wings, and leaped into the air.

And landed right on her face.

Groaning, Celestia stood up and focused.

"Some Pegasi believe that feeling your way through flying is the best way to learn. It gives you a stronger understanding of yourself and makes it easier to learn new tricks. Others believe reading and researching are the best way to learn, to have a complete understanding what is actually going on inside your wings. Tell me Tia, do you know which one is the best?" Loving asked with a smile.

Celestia didn't know the answer, but she did know her Mother. Most likely, this was some sort of trick and both answers were wrong. "Neither is right?" Celestia said, a little afraid of getting swatted for being wrong.

"Close! That was a very good guess Sweetheart. The correct answer is both of them are right! Loving puffed out her chest, pointing her hoof at her daughter. "One should probably research how their wings work, and how they use the magic within and around them. But, one should also try to get a feel and understand exactly how their wings work specifically! And now, my little Sunshine, we shall be working on feeling your way through flight!

Frost pushed her daughter off the edge of the cliff they were next to.

"AHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh....."

"YOU'RE DOING GREAT, MY SUNFLOWER!!!"

Celestia shuddered, trying to block out that last bit. Instead focusing on her wings. The size were completely different, and the muscles were weak from never being used. But Celestia knew that with just enough skill she could get herself in the air long enough to reach her balcony. With a few experimental flaps, Celestia mentally adjusted how much she had to compensate for her new wing size and strength. Magic is everywhere. In the ground, the plants, the ponies around her, and the air. But, magic is also inconsistent. Sometimes, a little bit floated about here and there. Occasionally, a strong wave of magic would pass by, making whatever somepony was trying to do much easier. Celestia waited.

...Now!

With a powerful, but controlled flap, Celestia lifted off the ground. Another flap, and another. She was halfway to the balcony when her wings gave out on her, faceplanting into the ground. Celestia calmly got up, and waited. With a push of her wings, Celestia slowly gained altitude. She made a little past halfway this time before she plummeted. Again, a little under halfway, and fell. Again, this time, about one fourth of the way there.

About an hour later, Celestia was covered with dirt and sweat. She had bruises and cuts all over from falling so much. She got up, swaying on hooves. Again. She flapped, rising a little, had her wings scream in pain, and fell. Celestia collapsed to the ground and screamed in frustration. Freezing, she stopped and took a deep breath, emptying her mind.

"AUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!" Celestia screamed, getting up. A hoof gently, but strongly, pushed her back down. Looking up, she saw her Mother's stern face.

"Stay down." She quietly said.

"But-"

"Stay down, you have already failed." Her words tore at Celestia's heart. "You failed, and if you get up now and try again, as tired and frustrated as you are, you will only fail harder." She gently explained. "Failure is not acceptable, do everything in your power to succeed. But when you do fail, fall to the ground with grace. You have already failed, so make the most of it. Rest in your failure, don't think about your problems. Recover, think about what you're fighting for and why it matters so much to you. And then, when you're strong enough to stand tall. Summon your courage and try again."

'A large cup of coffee with a thick slice of cake sounds great right about now.'

'The look on Luna's face when she tasted the hot sauce in her drink was hilarious. Sure, she spat out scalding hot coffee all over my face, but it was worth it.'

'The way everypony bows to me nonstop has always been a tad annoying. But now it would be great to have anypony by my side right now.'

'I miss you Mom.'

'Somewhere, out there. There is a actual little filly in a cocoon, scared for her life.'

With one last deep breath, Celestia stood up. She already used up any strength her wings had, so there's no way it could work now. She would simply have to find another way to get in. If changelings were already inside the castle, it's possible things might be in a state of chaos. There's a chance she could sneak through one of back doors. Celestia always kept an eye on the pastry delivery, and luckily, today was the day they arrived. She knew there would be a larger order than usual due to the Summer Sun Celebration. They might be rushing to get it all in. That would hopefully make them a little careless. She hurried around the backside of the castle.

With a smile, she saw a bundle of workers lifting heavy crates from their carts into the castle. Sneaking over to the carriage, she searched inside of it looking for a screwdriver or a crowbar. Finding the former, she went over to a cart that they haven't started to unload. She quietly started to unscrew one of the larger boxes, and climbed inside. Not quite fitting, she bumped into a large cake.

Well, she was rather hungry. Celestia could use the sugar boost anyway.

After...making some room for herself, she quickly closed the lid and started to re-screw the lid closed back from the inside. The last thing she wanted was somebody peaking inside the box. It's rather funny. She had read some stories about precocious children sneaking in this way to save the day. She never thought she would be having to do this herself. After waiting for what felt like about a half an hour, she heard somepony walk up to the box.

"AUGH! WHO SCREWED THESE IN INSIDE OUT?!? MY HOOF!!!"

Celestia winced.

"You should go get that cleaned up. Wouldn't want it to bleed everywhere."

"Yeah yeah..." The voice grumbled, walking away.

The box was lifted, and slowly carried into the building. After waiting for the workers to walk away, Celestia slowly started to unscrew the box. After waiting for the sound of workers to come and go again, she slowly lifted the lid, seeing no one nearby, she quickly climbed out and looked for somewhere to hide. Glancing at the crate again, she gasped.

The blood on the edge of the crate was green.

'Ponies bleed red, looks like I found a way to prove somepony's a changeling.' Celestia thought. Quietly working her way around the crates, she made her way deeper into the Castle. Celestia smirked. She was in.

Suspicious Truth

In the past, security generally was never taken that seriously. It was generally agreed by all the other nations that attacking a nation who's ruler was the one who raised and lowered the sun and moon was a bad idea.

Then Nightmare Moon happened.

And Discord.

And Chrysalis.

And Sombra.

Celestia took a moment to reflect on how her nation has been plagued with a living nightmare, an ancient spirit of chaos, demonic bugs that steal your loved ones and slowly drain your emotions away until you're too weak to fight back, and a insane unicorn who turned himself into an embodiment of evil.

But she did get Luna back. Celestia would have to say that, overall, it has been a pretty good year. She would like to keep it that way. Filly or no, as long as she's around, no is going to hurt Luna or her precious ponies. Sadly, her precious ponies have all been very nervous lately, as horrible creatures they couldn't even imagine a year ago have been attacking them left and right. Because of this, security in the castle has been very tight. The royal guards themselves have jumping at shadows, examining things they would've laughed at a year ago.

Celestia frowned, trying to think of a way to get to the left wing from the backside of the castle. At every end of the hallway was a guard, and she was pretty sure that over half of them were actually changelings. She couldn't play the lost child card, as she was sure that anypony she would turn to would actually just take back in captivity. Suddenly, a opportunity presented itself to her.

She saw Rusty Socket again coming down the hall. This was either the real Rusty Socket, or the changeling she tricked from before. If it is the same changeling pretended to be him. Celestia didn't know the changeling ranking system, if there was one, but his attitude from before implied he was a low ranking one. If he was the real one, she would finally have an ally. If he was fake, perhaps she could trick him again.

Celestia slowly trotted up to him with confidence and held her head high in a impatient, arrogant manner. When Rusty saw her, his eyes went from shock, to recognition. A shame, he must be a changeling.

"I'm ready, take me to Luna!" Celestia barked out.

Rusty blinked. "Yes, of course sir!" he quickly replied. "My apologies sir, but in case you haven't heard, my horn has been damaged. I'm stuck in this form." Rusty said with a small amount of fear. "I'm afraid I haven't been able to hear the sweet voice of my glorious queen all day. What is the current plan?"

This was almost too perfect.

"It is time for Luna to join us. Soon, she will be under our control." Celestia sneered. It was time for her to take a risk. "When the summer sun celebration comes, we will be prepared."

"What does Luna have do with our plans for the celebration?" Rusty asked.

So they are planning something on the Summer Sun Celebration.

"Nothing, really." Celestia dismissed with a hoofwave, "It simply would be unwise to have the Alicorn of the night roam free during the party."

"And what of Twilight Sparkle?"

A cold hoof wrapped itself around Celestia's heart. Twilight was here? She didn't remember Twilight coming to visit Canterlot. Celestia and Rusty entered the left wing, which was unusually quiet.

"She won't suspect a thing! We have everything under control. Now stop asking so many questions! There are still a few ponies around this castle!" Celestia snorted.

"Sorry friend. This the end of the line." Rusty growled.

Rusty quickly turned and shot Celestia with a stun beam. Cursing to herself, Celestia collapsed on the floor. Rusty calmly pulled her into a room and swapped back into changeling form. Looking confused, he hit her with a magic Celestia didn't recognize. Grimacing, he hit her again.

"Are you the real deal?!? Aw crap..." The changeling said, slapping a hoof against his face. "I was tricked a stupid little filly!"

Celestia was confused. Did he actually think she was a changeling and attack her anyway? What is he-

*BOOM*

"NOW YOU ALL HAVE ME SURROUNDED BUT YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME!"

"Shoot!" The changeling yelled, running out of the room. Not a second later, he ran back again.

"Look, I'm sorry okay?!? Just...just stay there! I'll be right back!"

About five minutes later, Celestia could move her body again. Celestia sat and thought for a minute. This all could just be a trick set up by the changelings to make her trust them. But it was elaborate and unnecessary. There was a good chance the changeling was being sincere, but Celestia decided against waiting. Taking her chances with Luna seemed safer than taking her chances with a changeling.

Slipping out of the room, Celestia headed away from the commotion towards Luna's chambers. Luckily, the guards around her went to see what the chaos was down the hall. 'Be careful, my most faithful student.' Celestia tried to force herself not to worry. Twilight has managed far worse, but she still gets afraid whenever she knows Twilight's in danger. Opening the door Luna's room, she was greeted by loud snoring. 'Glad to see she's doing just fine.' Celestia closed the door behind her and climbed up onto Luna's bed. It took a good minute of prodding and poking to wake her up.

"HUUZNNRK! HUH?!? WHO DARES WAKE US FROM OUR SLUMBER?!?"

"Luna. It's me."

"You?" Luna blinked and rubbed her eyes. "Who are thou? And why are thou in our royal sleeping quarters?!?"

Celestia sighed. "Lulu, it's me, Tia. Canterlot is being invaded by changelings, again. They preformed some sort of magic on me that turned me into a little filly! I need your help. I need you to get into contact with Princess Cadence and Shining Armour and tell them Canterlot is under attack. Most of our troops have already been replaced!"

Luna stared at Celestia, digesting everything she just heard. "If that is true, we must act at once! That is, if that is true. If thou are truly are older sister, prove it."

Celestia sighed. "Shortly after you were born, Mother held up you up to the crowd and yelled 'ALL HAIL MOONBUTT!!!'"

"A-ah yes, I think that's-"

"About 1564 years ago, I found you asleep inside of the doughnut shop in the town that eventually became Manehatten. You had the store owner in a headlock while you were snoring away."

"We believe you! You can stop Tia-"

"One time during our estrous cycle you-"

"ENOUGH!!!" Luna screamed. "Enough Tia! Enough!.. We believe thou now." Luna said, blushing. "We shall contact Princess Cadence and Shining Armor immediately-"

"Princess Luna!" A voice called into the room. Followed by three sharp knocks. Celestia gave Luna a look, and they both nodded. Celestia hid in a nearby closet.

"Come in!" Luna called. A royal guard walked in and bowed. "Princess Celestia has requested your presence."

"She has?" Luna's brow furrowed. "Tell her We shall be there shortly." The Guard bowed, and left. Celestia came out of her hiding place and trotted towards Luna.

"A trap, I'm sure." She quietly said.

"We will send a letter to Shining and Cadence before seeing her." Luna frowned. "We shall confront her together."

"Not alone." Celestia said "Summon Twilight, she is visiting, or so I've heard. Call the other Elements of Harmony here as well. It can't hurt to be too careful."

"You wait here Tia. You can't do much like this."

Celestia hated to admit it, but she was right. There's not much she can do with a filly's body and sore wings. Being present would also give away that they knew the Celestia on the throne was fake.

"You be careful Lulu. Don't try anything by yourself."

"I will be, little sister."

"Little?" Celestia gave Luna a blank look. Luna shot a smug one right back at her.

"Don't worry Tia, big sister will take care of everything." Luna turned and trotted out of the room before Celestia could reply.

Celestia released a breath she didn't even know she was holding. Everything was going to be okay. Things were going to get messy sure, but Luna and the others now aware of the matter things should be fine. With the threat no longer directly on her shoulders, she sagged from exhaustion. Suppressing a yawn, she tried to shake the fatigue out of her. She couldn't afford to fall asleep now. All it took was one changeling taking a peek into Luna's room for her to be captured...

...

"Awaken."

Celestia rose her head with a jolt. She didn't remember ever falling asleep. Looking around she saw she was in the throne room. The fake Celestia, Luna, and Twilight were standing before her. Luna had a look of pity on her face. The fake Celestia wore one of mild annoyance. Twilight's expression, oddly enough, was unreadable. Celestia tried to quell her panic. What happened? How did she get here?!?

"You've been causing a lot of trouble in my castle." The fake Celestia said to her.

"This would be my castle actually." Celestia calmly replied. "And I don't appreciate you taking from me."

The fake Celestia sighed. "Why must you keep doing this? Have you not been taking your medicine?"

Celestia smiled. "Is that your game? Pass me off as a mentally unstable little filly who pretending to be you?"

The fake Celestia put a expression of pity towards her, walking up towards Celestia, she wrapped a wing around her. "About a year ago, I visited a mental ward. There, I met a adorable little filly who reminded me of myself when I was younger." Celestia had restrain a snort, but didn't interrupt.

"While I was there, she was very interested in hearing about my life. Any story about me, my mother, or my sister would leave her in awe or wonder." The fake Celestia smiled. "I truly did enjoy our little talks." Her smile quickly went away. "Sadly, you kept finding ways to break out of the hospital. I would always find somewhere in the castle, trying to convince a guard or noble that you were actually me. It's a shame how many of them actually believed you."

"Why did you never tell us about this, Sister?" Luna quietly asked. 'Luna didn't actually believe this, did she?'

"I didn't think she would cause this much trouble." The fake Celestia frowned.

"Please, do you truly believe we would talk about our mother so openly?" Celestia asked. "I could spend days reciting my life, something I could not have learned in a weekly visit. I'm surprised Luna is even humoring you."

The fake Celestia once again put on a look of annoyance. "I proved myself the real one time and time again, and I don't need to do so now."

"Very well then, let's put a stop to this right now. Twilight, my most faithful student. Cast the changeling detection spell on her please.

Twilight didn't move. She frowned, looking conflicted.

"Go ahead Twilight." The fake one said. "I don't mind."

With a moment of hesitation, Twilight lit up her horn and shot the fake Celestia. After a bright flash, Celestia found herself looking at...Celestia. Giving her a withering look.

"I trust this is adequate?" She said, starting to walk away.

"W-wait!" Celestia said, fear starting to worm it's way into her heart. "When I flew successfully for the first time, what did my Mother say to me?"

"You're a chicken no longer, Sunshine." the fake one calmly replied.

"What was Luna's first words?"

"Celly."

"What do I prefer, wings or horn?!?"

"Wings."

"What-"

"What was Twilight's first friendship report?" The adult Celestia said, cutting her off.

Small fear was turning into full blown panic. She couldn't remember.

"What happened the day we took Twilight to be our most faithful student?"

Celestia stopped and took a deep breath, she was just panicking, she's not a mentally unstable little filly-

"What is the name of Twilight's dragon?"

Celestia froze. She couldn't remember. All three of them were looking at her with nothing but pity. Luna shook her head.

"I'm going to have to send Cadence and Shining an apology. To think I was mislead so easily." Luna sighed.

"W-wait! I'm not crazy!" Celes shouted, her breathing becoming ragged.

"Don't be hard on yourself sister, she plays a convincing act. Even she herself believes it."

"I was attacked by changelings this morning, I swear!"

"And this is what it ends with. Always the changelings. I wish I never told her that tale." The Adult Celestia rubbed a hoof against her forehead. "I woke up in the streets of Canterlot. Changelings. I had some strange magic cast on me. Changelings. Some strange stallion or mare is tailing me. Changelings." Guards! Come here please!"

'This can't be happening.' Celes' mind screamed in horror 'This can't be real!' A couple royal guards came into the throne room. Twilight slowly came up to her and put a hoof on her shoulder. Her face one of complete empathy. 'No...no! No, no, no, no no no NO NO NO NO NOOOOO-'

"NO, NO, NOOOOO!!!" Celes screamed. Like a ray of hope in the darkness, Celes remembered one small detail. She ripped a quill out of Twilight's bag and ran towards Celestia. "CHANGELINGS BLEED GREEN!!!"

With a thrust, she stabbed it into Celestia's hoof. Red blood trickled out. Celes stared in horror.

"Guards..." Celestia's quietly said, her voice of disappointment. "Please take this young filly back to the mental ward downtown please."

"NO!!!" Celes wailed, throwing herself out the window. Landing in a bush, she ignored the incredible pain in the hoof she landed on and ran as fast she could. 'NO NO NO NO NO NO-' Ignoring the yells from behind her, she ran as fast as she could, as the last of the light from the sun lowered into the horizon. With no destination in sight. The lost little Filly cried into the night.

Wandering through the business District, a depressed little filly tried to organize her thoughts. Behind her she saw a fight break out between two stallions. Quickly, she retreated into a nearby bar.

The Loser's Booth.

Don't Drink the Punch

When she had started, Elmer was resting his head back against the booth's cushion. It was hard to tell if Electric was even awake or not. Now, Elmer and Electric were sitting up and giving her their full attention. Throughout the Story Elmer frequently winced or looked at away nervously. Occasionally he let out a snarl of anger or frustration. Electric was either bouncing on the edge of his seat with barely contained energy muttering to himself; Or, he was sitting back with his whole body limp, eyes half closed. All the while, well, muttering to himself.

Celes finished with her head hanging low. Looking at her milk with contempt, she rolled a thought around in her mind. Deciding it wasn't worth thinking too deeply about, she rang the bell at the end of the table. Fine Wine quickly showed up with a smile and asked how he may serve them. Giving him a rather plastic smile back, Celes cleared her throat.

"Mr. Wine, would you be so kind as to bring me about three glasses of your sweetest riesling, and a glass of moscato?"

Fine Wine frowned. "Sorry Sweetheart, but I'm afraid you're a little too young to drink."

"I appreciate your concern, Mr Wine. I'm afraid to say the quality of my life has already hit its lowest point. I'm afraid all a couple glasses of wine would do would help me forget the inevitable for a short while."

Fine Wine stared into her eyes for a few seconds, then sighed. Within a few minutes, four glasses of Dessert Wine was presented to her. Celes roughly downed the glasses of Riesling. Then, with the grace of the canterlot elite, she daintily lifted the glass of moscato gently rocked it. Occasionally taking a slow sip while staring at it. Holding it up to the light while deep in thought. Her cheeks started to look rosy.

"I suppose the most depressing part." Celes began, "Is that I cannot grow as a pony. Even if I were to summon the courage to march back to that mental ward and apologize, it wouldn't fix anything. The next day, or perhaps maybe a week or two from now, I'll just break out and think I'm Celestia in some changeling conspiracy again. Any effort made to improve myself with be wiped clean and forgotten. My whole life...Her whole life, Celestia was raised to improve herself constantly. Failure was the worst thing imaginable, but success, swelled her heart with pride. And here I am, a mentally unstable little filly sitting a bar drowning my sorrows."

"Celestia mentioned medicine, didn't she? It's not all hopeless." Electric said, scooting over and patting her on the back. "If can come visit you, if you like, I wouldn't mind making the trip daily."

Celes smiled, and took another sip of her moscato. "I appreciate the encouragement. But I won't have the comfort of knowing you or that I take medicine soon. Then again, maybe I will. I have no clue how this works at all."

Elmer quietly stared at Celes. He was sick of it. He should be correcting her. It was the nice thing, no. It was the right thing to do. Elmer didn't know how this could end happy, even if he lied till his tongue fell off. But he was so tired, of being the bearer of bad news. He was tired of telling ponies bad news he had nothing to do with. He was tired to getting involved in bad news that wasn't his fault. And most of all, he was tired of being the cause of bad news for just trying to fix things. All he wanted to do was preserve the peace. After tonight, Equestria will fall, and there will be nowhere to run to.

"Am I Celestia?"

Elmer looked back at Celes, he was about to reply when he saw the look in her eyes. A steely gaze, one that warned against any nonsense or jokes. But Elmer knew better, he could feel the pure fear in the question she asked him. He was something of an expert on feelings, a bit of a racial advantage of his. This time, he opened and closed his mouth multiple times at her, before deciding one simple word.

"Sorta."

Celes stared back in confusion and anger "Sorta? What does sorta mean? Am I Celestia or not?"

"It's complicated." Elmer said, in a very broken down voice. "I can't really gave you a straight yes or no."

Celes took a couple deep breaths, before opening her eyes. "Well then. Would you like to go next Mr. Elmer?"

"I'd rather not."

"You rather not?"

"Yeah."

Celes glared at the indifferent seeming changeling. What did he mean rather not?!? Did he ever plan on taking a turn? Frustrated, she continued to just breathe slowly, the alcohol was helping in one way, but it wasn't helping her keep her temper in check. She was better than this, she was-... Not Celestia. Maybe, that stupid changeling has given false hope and just let it lie there with no conclusion. 'Maaaaybe you're Celestia. MAAAAAAAAAAYBE.' You can't just say 'Maybe.' and drop the matter.

"Mr. Elmer, please. I would really like to know what relationship I have with Celestia."

"I'm sorry." Elmer said, looking down. "I just need a little bit more to clear my thoughts.

Celes pursed her lips. "Very well, we have all night." Celes took another sip from her moscato, forcing herself to think. 'He's had a bad day, we all have had a bad day. You'll know soon, just keep it together.'

The silence was breaking her.

"Mr. Koolaid, would you like your turn now?" Celes asked, praying to herself. Well, Celestia, maybe, that he'll take her mind off all of this.

Electric whipped his head up, with a crazed look in his eye.

"WITH FATE AS CRUEL AS IT CAN BE.
A LITTLE FILLY LOST IT'S RIGHT TO LIVE FREE!
WE ALL SIT HERE, FALLEN APART,
BUT ALL OUR STORIES FIRST HAVE TO START!
IT'S TIME TO SIT BACK, CAUSE MY BEATS ARE WELL MADE!
IT'S TIME FOR THE STORY OF ELECTRIC KOOLAID!!!"

Looking up, Fine Wine silently cast a spell on the booth preventing any sound from coming through.

Feeling a headache coming on, Celes started to regret asking for his tale.

Author's Note

To note Bipolar people can be seasonal, being on the manic side during summer, depressed during winter, and vice versa. It can also be weekly, high one week, and low the next. Sometimes, it can even be daily, but that can easily be confused with big mood swings.

Bipolar people, on the other hand, don't really switch hourly, or by the minute. Electric Koolaid's frequency in which he switches is unrealistic. Not that it's a problem, after all, this is a world with pastel colored magical ponies. But in case any of you were going to use this to get a clear idea on how Bipolar people work, this is not the story to do so.

My Aunt is Bipolar, and despite naturally being one of the most hammy people I've ever met, she wouldn't be this bad. Bipolar can be extreme on their high, but usually they won't be this consistently extreme. They also don't rhyme on a dime.

Life is Beautiful and I'm Dead on the Inside

I'M MARCHING MY WAY UP TO THE HOSPITAL.

WORKING UP THE CASH NEEDED, LITTLE BY LITTLE.

MY PRECIOUS LITTLE FILLY IS STUCK IN A BED

AND I'M NOT GIVING UP ON HER, ENOUGH SAID.

THEY SAY SHE HAS YEAR TO LIVE

WELL LIFE SURE HAS A LOT TO GIVE

SO I'M GONNA GIVE HER THE MEDICINE NEEDED

THERE'S NO WAY E.K.'S GONNA GET DEFEATED.

IT'S THE GOOD OL SUMMER SUN CELEBRATION.

MY DAUGHTER NEEDS A BREAK FROM THE FRUSTRATION!

I'M TAKING HER ROUND TOWN, ALL DAY LONG.

TODAY THERE'S NOTHING BUT CHEER AND SONG!

GOING THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR, YOU CAN'T STOP ME!

NOW TELL ME WHICH FLOOR, I HAVE A FILLY TO SEE!

Through the dim lit halls of the hospital I trot. Dark shadows cast upon the wall, taking forms of children writhing in pain, mocking me. With the light flickering, my heart flutters in fear as the unbearable silence weighs down on me. The wretched building is a home for the condemned, where hope is lost and spirits break. Slowly, ever so slowly I lift my hoof and knock upon the door leading my single ray of light left in this twisted world. A mechanical voice calls me in. Leading me to small, expressionless cage built for a youth far too young to face such hardships. The robotic nurse gives me a plastic smile. The wretched rat driveling on with lies about how my daughter is improving. Trying to give me false hope before bringing up the need for medicinal use I cannot afford.

THANKS NURSE, I LOVE THE GOOD NEWS!

HEARING HER IMPROVE JUST TAKES AWAY THE BLUES!

I LOVE TO STICK AROUND, BUT I'M HERE TO GRAB SUNSHINE!

I WANT TO TAKE HER OUT BEFORE LUNCHTIME!

AW DOC, CAN'T SHE HIT THE STREETS FOR A BIT?

SHE'S BEEN HERE SO LONG, SHE'S GONNA THROW A FIT!

MY LITTLE FILLY IS SO WONDERFUL AND SILLY.

I THINK SHE SHOULD ROAM JUST FOR A LIL BITTY!

I'LL BE WITH HER THE WHOLE TIME.

IS GOING OUT SUCH A CRIME?

LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE IN BED ALL DAY.

I MISS MY DAUGHTER, CAN'T YOU FIND A WAY?

The heartless wench would not sway. In a day as wonderful as this, my daughter is forced to watch others have what she cannot. Miserable life sucking demons garbed in deceptive white. They don't care at all about the spirit of a pony, as long as no trouble arises and the money keeps flowing, they're content. With a sneer I ask to be alone with my ray of light. Calmly stroking her hair. I tell her about my day. About the laughter. About the joy and fun. About the job opportunities and chances ahead. Never about the pain. Never about the anger and sadness. Never, ever about the fear that I cannot save her, my last ray of light. I force a smile on my lips, no matter how sad I am, I will never frown at her. A father is never a invincible hero, but I will always put on a brave face. For her, my little sunshine.

CAN'T PLAY ALL DAY, THERE'S WORK TO BE DONE!

NO MATTER HOW MUCH I WISH TO HAVE SOME FUN.

ON A DAY LIKE THIS, THERE'S ALWAYS A JOB TO DO.

GOTTA LOOK AROUND, GOTTA GET A CLUE!

HOLD ON, THE CASTLE NEEDS A D.J.?

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A JOB FOR E.K.!

THE PRINCESS PAYS SHINY LARGE FOLDS!

I THINK IT'S TIME TO BREAK THE MOLD!

I'M GETTING SUNSHINE HER EXPENSIVE MEDICINE.

SHE NEEDS THE URGENT MEDICAL ATTENTION!

I'M NOT BACKING DOWN, THEY'RE GONNA HIRE ME!

HEAR THAT TOWN?!? YOU ALL ARE GONNA SEE!

I'M ON THE ATTACK, I'M MAKING A RAID!

WATCH OUT WORLD, I'M ELECTRIC KOOLAID!

Foul, rotted skeleton of a planet. No breath or pulse flows through this abomination. Like a corpse infested with maggots and disease, what ponies call 'plants' and 'animals' fester inside of it. What sick, twisted mind could possibly conceive the world we live in?!? We all are nothing but a nasty stain upon that needs to be wiped off, purged. From the very core of my soul, I see them all staring at me. The ponies, the animals, the plants, the very earth we are forced to walk upon. Like barely contained beasts gnashing it's teeth I could tell they are were all out to get me. Me and my little sunshine, my ray of light. But no, ohohoho no! I will not be thwarted that easily! I can see you all... Watching...plotting...scheming...

MARCHING UP TO THE CASTLE GATE!

THIS JUST HAS TO BE THE WORK OF FATE!

WITH A BRILLIANT SMILE I WALK ON THROUGH.

WAITING IN LINE, I'M ONE OF THE LAST FEW.

WELL HEY THERE PRINCESS I'M D.J. E.K.!

AND I'M A PRETTY FINE D.J. I HAVE TO SAY!

IF YOUR HIGHNESS WOULD BE WILLING, I'D LOVE THE JOB.

MY STORY'S SO SAD IT'LL MAKE YOU SOB.

PLEASE WAIT PRINCESS CAN'T YOU HEAR ME OUT?

I NEED THIS JOB, WITHOUT A SHADOW OF DOUBT!

MY LITTLE GIRL'S SICK, AND SHE REALLY NEEDS THE MEDICINE!

I HAVE THE SKILL, LEMME SHOW YOU A QUICK SESSION!

PLEASE PRINCESS, DON'T SHOW ME THE DOOR!

WITH A QUICK TOSS I'VE NOW TASTED THE FLOOR!

The goddess of the sun has forsaken me! In my most dire time of need, even the grace of her light won't shine upon me. Miserable, I wander through the gardens, Nature mocking me as all the monsters inhabiting it stare at me with contempt. Even as I quietly sit on the bench the low hum of...What's this now?

Following the noise I walk into a living nightmare. Demons taking the form of ponies sadistically sacrificing a small filly. Unholy green flame surrounding her as they keep to their unworldly chant!

GET AWAY FROM THAT CHILD YOU FOUL MONSTERS!

I'LL TEACH ALL OF YOU DEMON IMPOSTERS!

I AM ERUPTING WITH ANGER THAT YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND!

YOUR DEATHS SHALL BE GLORIOUS, MY LEGACY GRAND!

HEY BACK THE BUCK OFF, YOU'RE PLAYING WITH FIRE!

TAKE A BLAST OF MY MAGIC, YOUR MIND'S OFF THE WIRE!

IS THIS THE REAL LIFE? IS THIS JUST FANTASY?

THIS IS MY WORLD NOW, AND IT'S GONNA GET NASTY!

I AM ELECTRIC KOOLAID, AND THIS' A BAD TIME!

YOU PICKED THE BUCKING WRONG DAY TO COMMIT A CRIME!

Monsters. Monsters! Everywhere! Seeping through the shadows and crawling into our very souls! Stealing the body to commit horrors on our love ones no doubt. I can have seen them. I have SEEN the mindless glare they give. Their very essence reeking with knowledge not meant to be known from beyond this reality! But I have SEEN them! and I KNOW! Oh no! Ohohoho NO! They will not invade Canterlot on my watch! I can SEE them now, no demon will escape my wraith. Foul demons begone!.. I will slay thee!!!

Author's Note

Oh yeah, he might be a bit mentally unstable.
Just a heads up.

I'm so Happy I Could Kill Myself.

YO, THIS IS THIS YOUR D.J., ELECTRIC KOOLAID!

THIS IS CRAZY, THE MESS THOSE DEMONS MADE!

A LITTLE FILLY IS SCARED FOR HER LIFE.

RUNNING AWAY FROM ALL THIS STRIFE.

BUT NOW THE BUGS ARE LOOKING MY WAY.

FREAKS DON'T KNOW HOW ROUGH I CAN PLAY!

THEY THINK THEY CAN TAKE ON OUR NUMBER ONE PONY?

E.K. IS GONNA TEACH THOSE PHONIES!

The demons that have invaded the veil of reality are out for my blood. To partake in a hedonistic feast of my sweet flesh, fulfilling their sadistic desires to gorge on the bounty my body has to offer! Alone I stand against this darkness. Within the shadows I lie with them, hearing them secreting madness into the heads of all who frolic in the light. Soon, they shall cast their sin upon us all, and everypony shall wail in fear of the darkness around them! But not me! Oho! Not me. By standing in the shadows, I have learned how to see the light the clearest! I can see them... I can SEE them! AND! I can STOP them, oh yes... But I must be quiet. Very, very quiet. And quick, and stealthy. As I stand alone, I must use the tool they use best against them. Stealth, surprise, creeping among darkness...

HEY YOU LITTLE INSECTS I'M RIGHT OVER HERE!

I'M GONNA TEACH YOU DIRTY MONGRELS THE MEANING OF FEAR!

BLAM BLAM MOTHERBUCKER, KEEP YOUR MUZZLE DOWN!

ALREADY HALF OF YOU GONE, NOW LOOK WHAT I FOUND!

HEY A ROYAL GUARD'S SPEAR, DID YOU GET ME THIS?!?

IT'S THE BEST PRESENT EVER, I'M IN TOTAL BLISS!

I'M COMPLETELY CUT UP, BUT THERE'S NO TIME TO REST!

I PROMISED MY DAUGHTER, I WOULD BECOME THE BEST!

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR A INVASION, GET OUT OF MY WAY!

BETTER TRY HARDER THE NEXT TIME WE PLAY!

Slowly I bandage my wounds, trying to ignore the gruesome before me. Mutilated bodies of demons lie before me, bleeding a unholy venom green. I managed to slay the foul beasts for now, but there are only more to come. Curse my impatience! The desire to right this wrong shall be my downfall! I cannot do this alone, I am already heavily wounded. Limping, I slowly work my way towards the castle doors. I must warn the guards! I am but one pony, I alone cannot stop this madness, even I am the only sane one in this disturbing warped world we live in. Slowly, I approach the guards. I must stay calm and present my case in the most logical, believable manner.

HEY CELESTIA'S BEST! I GOT A SMALL PROBLEM!

A BUNCH OF DEMONS DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS BUCKING AWESOME!

I JUST PUT A BUNCH OF STUPID BUGS INSIDE OF THEIR GRAVES.

TRUST ME ON THIS GUARD, THAT WAS JUST THE FIRST WAVE!

WHY ARE YOU BACKING AWAY? I SAID I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE!

DON'T TELL ME YOU TWO QUESTION THEIR EXISTENCE!

HEY, PUT DOWN THE SPEAR! I'M NOT THE ENEMY HERE!

WITH ME AROUND GUYS, YOU GOT NOTHING TO FEAR!

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, THE GUARDS THE CHASING ME DOWN!

THEY WANNA RUN ME OUTTA TOWN!

MAN, THE WHOLE CASTLE'S OUT TO GET ME!

I GUESS FATE'S FEELING GUTSY!

TODAY THINKS IT CAN STOP ELECTRIC KOOLAID?!?

WELL COME AT ME BRO, I'M NOT AFRAID!!!

Stupid incompetent pathetic excuse for the royal guard! Those idiots wouldn't know a threat if it waltz right passed them and kidnapped Princess Celestia! What am I to do? Demons are invading, a little filly is scared and lost, the guards are after, and I didn't get the job! What can I do? I'm just one unicorn against...those monsters! Those monsters and the royal guard! I can't-

...I didn't get the job, how am I ever going to help my ray of light? How did I ever think I could save Canterlot when I can't even save my precious little filly? What am I even doing here? I'm no warrior, I'm a poet! A simple maker of music, not a trained fighter! Let the demons be the castle's problem, I have my own to look out for!

EVIL ONLY WINS WHEN GOOD DOES NOTHING

SO I CAN'T STAND BACK, I'M DOING SOMETHING!

NOW THE SHADOWS SEEM FAST, THEY PUT UP THE GOOD FIGHT

BUT GOOD MOVES FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT!

I'M GONNA SWALLOW MY FEARS, AND FACE THEM WITH FLAIR!

MARCHING BACK I SEND OUT A SILENT PRAYER!

BUT MY GOD IS A BANANA WHO THINKS THE PICKLE IS LESS.

WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT, I'M ON MY OWN I GUESS.

NOW YOU CAN SAY I'M BARMY,

BUT I'M A ONE PONY ARMY!

IT'S DOESN'T MATTER HOW,

YOU CAN'T STOP ME NOW!

CANTERLOT'S COUNTING ON ME, I CAN'T FAIL!

I'M GONNA SHOW YOU ALL, EQUESTRIA PREVAILS!

I need that blasted job. No matter what I must endure, I need that accursed, taunting job. If I have to exorcise a bunch of demons while fighting my way through the royal guards just so Celestia might reconsider hiring me. Then so be it. I shall rescue a little filly, go demon slaying, and take on Canterlot's finest. Why does life hate me so much? Oh the things I do to try and be a good role model for my daughter. Reminds me of my youth...

WITH A SMILE IN HIS EYE

GIVING A GENTLE SIGH

MAKING A JOYFUL QUICK LAUGH

HE ASKED FOR HIS BEHALF

WITH A ATTITUDE FULL OF CHEER

HE SAID SON!

BRING ME ANOTHER BEER!!!

How I hate that disgusting excuse I was sired from. The mongrel just had to had to spend every paycheck on the Cloudsdale races. Never mind rent or food. Luckily our grandparents made sure Mother and I always had enough to eat, bless their souls. Him and those dirty lowborn earth pony scum always harassing my poor mother. Good thing I raised my sunshine away from all of that. Just my darling wife, and my little sunshine. Fate took away my sunflower, but I won't let it take away my ray of-hold on now. what's this?..

HEY DJ PON-3, YOU'RE MY NUMBER ONE IDOL!

AT LEAST WHEN I'M NOT FEELING SUICIDAL.

HOPE YOU NOT HERE FOR THE ADVERTISED JOB!

CAUSE I'M GETTING IT ONCE I BEAT THIS MOB.

SAY PRETTY FILLY, THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET ROUGH.

HOPE YOU CAN PULL YOUR WEIGHT WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH!

HOLD ON, WHAT'S THIS?!? YOU'RE A DEMON TOO!?!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S A LIE AND WHAT IS TRUE!

NOW YOU ALL HAVE ME SURROUNDED BUT YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME!

ELECTRIC KOOLAID'S ON FIRE, I'LL SOON BE HOME FREE!

NOW I'M TAKING OUT-OH HEY, I GOT A LETTER!

HOPE IT'S ABOUT MY DAUGHTER GETTING A LOT BETTER!

DEAR ELECTRIC KOOLAID, WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU!..

Re-regret to inform you. We regret. I regret, I uh, I-I can't... We regret to inform you your daughter Second Chance...

Electric numbly walked out of the castle, randomly wandering through the town. He stopped. When it was too painful and he was feeling his lowest, he just stopped. Stopped thinking, stopped moving, stopped everything. When he had energy, he would slowly move forward in a random direction.

He always hated his father for drinking his problems away. They say once you become an stallion, you understand your parents more, and can relate to them more as a fellow pony. He never could relate to his Dad. The only thing stallionhood brought was questions. His mother and father loved each other, what led his father to becoming the pony he came to know?

He understands now.

Electric wished for a lot of things, but at this moment. He wished he could buy himself and his old man a drink, sit down with him, and forget about everything else. He wished that he could bond with the stallion his mother fell in love with. Sadly, his old man was no longer around, so Electric did the second best thing. He picked a bar at random and trotted in, stopping only to quickly read it's name.

The Loser's Booth.

Author's Note

Electric Koolaid is not the most reliable of narrators. Some things that happened to him will be explained through Elmer. So don't stress it.

Be Very Very Quiet

When Electric Koolaid walked into the Loser's Booth, he thought he suffered as much as he could today.

And then he saw her.

"LIIIIKE, OHMAGOSH KOOOOLAAAAAID, THAT'S LIKE, SUCH A SAAAD STOOORYYYYYYYY~~!" CELES SCREAMED.

"W-O-O-O-W, I DIDN'T THINK YOU COULD BE THAT HORRIBLE OF A PONY!" ELMER YELLED WITH A MIRTHFUL LAUGH.

"WELL YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES GUYS! I THOUGHT I WAS THE BEST FRIEND KILLING ALL MY WORST FRIENDS. TURNS OUT, I WAS THE WORST FRIEND KILLING ALL MY BEST FRIENDS." ELECTRIC SHOUTED, BLUSHING.

"HAHA, OH WOW. YOU'VE COMMITTED A LOT OF MURDER TODAY!"

"YEEEEAAAAH!!! HE'S LIKE. TOTALLY BALLS OF THE WALLS MAAAAAAN!" CELES BROKE OUT INTO GIGGLES.

"ANYTHING TO GET MY BEST DAD ON IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING!" ELECTRIC POSED COOLLY.

"OH I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING BRO-BRO!" ELMER STARTED TO DANCE ON THE TABLE!

"As the cogs of fate creak against our favor, we strive to do what is right. Even as our loved ones, society, nature, and us ourselves combat against what we believe in. We pursue our right of happiness as our forefathers before us have. The right to serve justice and the peace of heart from salvaging harmony from the chaos amongst us." Celes shuddered. " Morale runs low as we are knocked down. As Mr. Koolaid has stated evil only prevails when good does nothing, yet here we are trampled and beaten. Tired in heart and as pony, hope seems lost to us all."

"Pony is not perfect. One never simply does good for the sake of good itself. We fight for our ideals, our morals, the things we take pride in. By building self respect through praise of others and one self, we gain strength to stand up and fight for what we believe in. We fight for the ones we love. The miracle, the work of harmony that brings a select few individuals together in peace." Electric stopped to take a sip of his drink. "But what if our ideals and morals are taken away? What if...what if the ones we love are taken away, never to be returned? What is there left to fight for? I have no religious zeal over this. There is no money or power to be gained. No moral obligation left to fulfill. I indeed am tired, in heart and as pony..."

"What is morality? A concept created by who? The Maker? We don't even know if it exists. If so, where does it originate from, and why do we strive to maintain such ethical harmony amongst us all?" Elmer pondered, "If we consider that Morality is simply a concept created by us sapient creatures for us sapient creatures, then perhaps the question one should ask is "What does morality mean for me?' We have lost loved ones, society frowns upon us, and it seems that mother nature itself looks at us as rejects. But deep down we had reasons we respected ourselves for for challenging danger. It would be best if we were to search deeper within ourselves for a solid, conclusive answer before folding our hand against fate."

"WOOOOOOOOOOW, I AM LIKE, SO TOTALLY TIIIIIREEEEED!" CELES WHINED.

"YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE FIGHTING YOUR WORST FRIEND, TURNS OUT, YOU WERE FIGHTING YOUR BEST FRIEND!" ELMER TOOK A LARGE SWIG OF HIS DRINK!

"WOAH HO HO HO! I REALLY WISH YOU WOULD STOP TALKING TO ME!" ELECTRIC SAID, PATTING ELMER ON THE BACK."

"WOW DUDE, THE GOVERNMENT IS TOTALLY TRYING TO KILL US!"

KOOLAID JUMPED ONTO THE TABLE AND STARTED TO JAM! "DEMONS WANT ME DEAD~! DEEEEEMONS WANT ME DEAD, DEEEEEMONS WANT ME DEAD, DEEEEEMONS WANT ME DEAD~! DEMONS WANT ME DEAD~! DEEEEEMONS WANT ME DEAD. DEEEEEMONS WANT ME DEAD, DEEEEEMONS WANT ME DEAD~!"

"HAHA YEAH MOTHERBUCKER!!!" CELES THREW A GLASS AT KOOLAID'S HEAD!

"Perhaps, if we are to dig deeply we should simply forget the concept of morality and look at what our carnal drive was, and see if we can reclaim it." Celes mused. "Watching and managing a government that is so dependent on me is horrifying. Every day I threaten to break under the stress. Instead of becoming detached from my ponies, so I would not become hurt if they were to strike out against me, I was completely immersed. Rather than governing and protecting my little ponies being a large portion of my life, it simply WAS my life. I invested such deep emotional and protective bonds towards every single one so I could draw strength upon it. It was the strength I used to lift the burden of servitude. That is way it is so mind breaking and painful for me not to be Celestia. Protecting the ones below is my only reason to live. I need them to need me. If my little ponies, Luna, or Twilight don't need me to protect them, then what reason do I have to live?"

"You forget, you are but a small child..." Electric whispered. "You need not strive for such a great cause. You may not be able to protect all your little ponies, and rightly so, it is not your responsibility to bear. But this does not mean you can't protect somepony. You have stated is not justice that fuels you but self validation. Then validate yourself by protecting just somepony, not everypony. If you can make a difference for just one pony, I think that's alright."

"I am small child! Unstable and misinformed! I have no strength or skills to draw upon! I am useless, and the world simply wishes for me to be locked up in asylum, where I can't cause trouble! For that is what I am, trouble! Nothing but trouble..."

"If the goddess of the sun accepts a outcast changeling like me. I would be honored." Elmer murmured.

"It would bring ease to my heart to know I have Celestia looking out for me." Electric said with a smile.

"I-I am not really royalty, or anyone powerful, why would you want me?"

"You're a royalty to me, Celes." Elmer said, laying a hoof on her shoulder.

"I would be honored to have you protecting me." Electric said, laying a hoof on the opposite shoulder.

The Princess released a choked sob.

WOOOOOOOOW GUUUUUYS!!! LIFE CAN BE PRETTY COOL SOMETIMES!!! CELES SAID, SLAMMING HER HEAD INTO THE TABLE!

"WOW, YOU'RE A USELESS PIECE OF CRAP!" ELECTRIC SAID SMACKING CELES IN THE FACE.

"GOOD THING I'M YOU'RE USELESS PIECE OF CRAP! STUPID IDIOT!" CELES SAID, SLAMMING HER HOOF BETWEEN HIS LEGS!

"AW MAN, GOTTA BE THE WORST FRIENDS!" ELMER SAID, POSING!

"FIIIIIIIINE WIIIIIIIINE! OH FIIIIIIIINE WIIIIIIIINE! WHERE ARE YOU FINE WIIIIIIIIIINE?!? I NEED MORE FINE WIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!" CELES WHINED!

"AWWWWW YEEEEEEEAAAAAH!!!" ELECTRIC SAID, BOUNCING IN PLACE!

"I THOUGHT I WAS HELPING MY DAUGHTER!"

"INSTEAD I WENT TO A SLAUGHTER!"

"I HAD TO SAVE THE CASTLE!"

"BUT IT WAS TOO MUCH OF A HASSLE!"

"CHANGELINGS WANTED TO PAINT THE SKY ORANGE!"

"THEY'RE-"

"OHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYY GOOOOOOSH! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! YOU'RE TOTALLY RUINING MY BUZZ!!!" CELES YELLED!

"WOW!!! I DIDN'T THINK I WAS THAT BAD OF PONY BEING!" ELECTRIC BLUSHED.

"HAHA!!! YOU THOUGHT WRONG YOU FILTHY MONGREL!!!" ELMER SCREAMED!

"I wasn't protecting my daughter out of self worth. I was simply because I love her. With my daughter and wife gone, I don't know what to do anymore. They were my sole reason. My sunflower. My ray of light. It's very hard for me to keep focus on one thing. If I don't have something to pour my love into, I can't stay focused long enough to...well, simply live life. I need somepony to focus on, somepony to love. But what pony could ever love a unicorn like me?"

"I don't have any parents or siblings, I need somepony to love me..." Celes quietly said.

"I never been loved before for who I am." Elmer gave a humorless laugh.

"I'm brash, loud, annoying, impulsive, and even dangerous. I'm also pessimistic, mean, pathetic, and unnerved. Would you really want the attention of somepony like me?"

"I would love to have you dote on me." Celes curled up next to him.

"If you can love a changeling, you are worth more than you think." Elmer gave a gentle smile.

"So..." Elmer quietly said, getting the other two's attention. "I think... I think I should probably take my turn now."

Celes gave a weak smile. "Don't be shy, it's been a truly difficult day for all of us. I know that what you have to say might anger me, but... I promise not to bite."

"...I wouldn't make that promise, if I were you."

Celes and Koolaid frowned.

"I should probably start with how I came to Canterlot..."

Electric stared at the little girl next to her. Feeling the tears building up again. The sweet little filly who has suffered as much as he has.

The filly who looked just like her.

Author's Note

Changelings wanted to paint the sky orange.
They're like some sort of monstrous sporange.

It's Bad to be King.

My story is a little more difficult to explain. Not really because it's harder to tell, but because you two don't really know a thing about changeling life right? I think if I told you how my day went without any context, it might just be a tad confusing.

Then again, I think it would be a little hard to top Mr. Koolaid here.

Now, I'm sure you're all aware of changeling drones. Little dudes that scurry around and do all the grunt work. Pretty much the bottom of the chain. Next along the line are infiltrators, they go into society, steal love, and come back. On the top of the commoner chain here are assassins. Three guesses to what they do. On the royal chain, there are princesses, and Queens. Simple right?

Then there are princes. There is a very good reason you've never met a prince. Or ever heard of one for that matter. The thing that princes do best, that I can say with confidence, is they die. They are very, very good at dying. They are so good at dying, in fact, that a prince could sit around and do nothing, have everyone else feed him, and he would probably fall apart and die in about anywhere between two weeks to a month, if he's lucky.

Needless to say, it sucks to be a prince. If you are born in the hive, and the first words you hear are 'Hello, Prince.' your first thoughts should be 'Maker, shoot me.' In order of the highest nobility. It goes queen, princess, assassin, infiltrator, drone, prince, and king. Becoming a king isn't a step up, it is a step DOWN. If you're a prince and you were crowned a king, that means you screwed up badly, that your name shall be remembered forever, to be hated.

My name is Prince Slumber, and I hate my life.

...

Well, on the bright side, at least I'm not King Pariah.

I like to go by Elmer. Please, I insist. ...No really, please, never call me Prince Slumber, especially the prince part, ever. I don't want to think about it, and I don't like anything that makes me think about it. Which means I really don't like myself at the moment. Although considering how today went, that probably isn't going to change anytime soon. I probably won't like you two either, since you both are going to insist I explain what a prince does, aren't you?

I don't even know why I asked.

So, to put simply, a prince is a really glorified guinea pig. That's pretty much it in a nutshell. Changelings like to change. Our names are CHANGElings. It's not very hard to guess. We change forms, change size, change places, change names, change abilities, change everything. So, it's probably not too surprising we can change our very DNA. It's a very, very slow process, and dangerous. Very, very dangerous process. That's why us princes are here to risk all the danger for you!

Maker, shoot me.

When a queen gets a idea in her head on how to improve changeling life, or she just feels like playing with DNA, she makes a prince. Now you see, What determines a changelings worth is how much energy and resources it consumes to make one. Drones are cheap and can be mass produced. Infiltrators are a step up from that, and assassins are pricey. The higher quality the changeling, the more intelligent and sturdy it is. Princes are the exception to this rule. The amount of energy and resources it takes to make a Prince is about ten times that of a princess.

Princes are generally dumber than a brick. Their bodies are constructed so poorly that some of them just fall apart right at birth. The lack of effort in making them is actually to preserve resources, as we're expensive as all get out. What makes us so expensive is that the queen is altering our DNA as we're being made in the womb. So what you get when you have a changeling poorly put together and has had his DNA screwed with by something that doesn't really know what it's doing? A bunch of dead prince babies.

So, basically, I'm as solid as a wet tissue paper.

Now, having that many dead princes is an incredible waste of resources, so back in the day queens used to put the extra effort in making sure that Princes were sturdy enough to last a year at least. The queens wanted their bits worth, so to speak. Eventually, some queen got the clever idea to try and make a prince that can be turned back into resources after they die. That led to the creation of Prince Recycle. Now, us princes are...sorta, half jelly-ish. Under our fragile shell are mushy organs and chewy bones that are edible. So, if the prince comes out dead, we are now a incredibly strange and nutritious treat that gives back up to 80% of the energy and resources consumed to make us.

So if any of you need a quick energy boost, I make a great snack apparently.

Prince Recycle was the second successful prince. The first being Prince Lock. I would go into detail on what he did but I'm getting side tracked enough as it is. Six Princes down the line and you get me. Lock, Recycle, Consume, Psychic, Capture, Control, Pariah, formerly known as Swap, and then me, Slumber. I received the 'honor' of earning the name Slumber by introducing a whole new way of collecting love.

Basically, I would be hypnotized into believing I truly am whatever pony I'm pretending to be. I would stay as that pony for about 10 years. Then, my hypnosis would bring me back to the hive, and I would give back all the love I collected. The queen would erase any memories I had as the pony I pretended to be. That way, I wouldn't be tempted to stay as said pony when I regained my true self. It was a success. Apparently, I spent the last 10 years as a pegasus mare, got married to a unicorn, had a kid, and then came back to the hive with 10 years worth of love.

That's the difference between the other princes and I. In order to see if I was successful, I had to stay alive long enough. I don't know how much time I have left, to be honest. I escaped the hive half a year ago. I really could kick the bucket any day now. All I wanted to do was live out my last days in peace. Canterlot was the capital of Equestria. Chrysalis already failed to take it down once. What better place to safely live out the rest of my days than the castle?

Then I saw a changeling knock out a guard outside my window, and that's how my morning starts.

Spiritual Kick me Sign on my Back

Man, I don't even know why I try sometimes. The FIRST thing I hear upon waking up is a scream from outside my window. Right then I should have know to just turn my head, snuggle closer to my pillow and go back to sleep. But no, like an idiot I just had to get up think 'HUH, I WANDER WAT'S OUTSEDE MA WEEENDOE?!?' I sat down for hours and came to an agreement with myself to not get involved with any trouble if I could help it. So why did I do this to myself?!?

Yep, that was guard getting blasted in the face. He is pretty dead dude. As horrible as that is, I have to wonder why no else saw this. That was really, really loud scream. You think I wouldn't be the only one to see this. How ironic that the changeling is the only witness. Great... The changeling who isn't me, (you know, the crazy one that just killed that guard in broad daylight) Takes the form of the dead pony and then decides to waltz off like nothing happened.

A bluebird singing his joy to the world lands on my horn as I sit there and stare at the dead body. How appropriate. I guess... I guess I should bury it? I mean that's the polite thing to do right? Ponies generally don't like dead bodies littered around the place. I think it might also be respectful to the dead or something, I don't know.

Yes Celes, I know that I'm burying evidence. I also know that the first thing I should've done was inform the royal guard. It was the first time I've even seen a stallion die, I wasn't exactly thinking clearly okay? I'm just an 11 year old colt. I don't exactly know what I'm doing here.

Why are you two looking at me like that?

Yes, I am really am 11. I was born, sent off to be Pegasus mare for ten years, and then lived in the hive for another three months before I ran away. I'm probably still 10 years old actually. But I'm bound to turn 11 any day now.

Anyway, as I continued to stare at the bloody heap splayed out in the flower bed, two more bluebirds landed on my back. Today is a beautiful day, by the way. Really great day to take your kid to the park or something. I should probably start making my way down there. Stumbling to my bathroom, I splashed cold water on my face until I could focus again. Oddly enough, the bluebird on my horn continue to sit there as it was pelted with water. Deciding I had bigger things to worry about, I slowly made my way out of my room and towards the gardens.

The way down was eerily silent. Only a few maids were up this early. Waving at me cheerfully, they made pleasant comments about the birds, telling me to make sure I have them out of the sight of the guards or else I might get in trouble. Honestly, the guards doing their jobs is the last thing I'm worried about. Making my way into our incredibly huge garden, (Seriously Celestia, do you just really like growing plants or something?) I find my way to the... The body is gone.

Instead, a huge flock of bluebirds is where the body was. That's a little creepy. Looking around, I don't even see any blood. It's like there wasn't any body to begin with. What the heck just happened?!? I just saw a stallion die! I refuse to deal with the traumatizing experience of watching a stallion get slaughtered and not have a body there to show for it! Come on! Turning around to go back to bed, I hear a green flash behind me.

I'm not stupid. ...Well, I'm probably a little stupid. I am just a kid, but considering I'm a changeling, it doesn't take a genius to work out what a bright green flash is. Instantly, I raise my hooves in surrender. They murdered that stallion in like, ten seconds flat. I'm not screwing around with these guys. Slowly turning around, all the bluebirds were now changelings, with charged up horns, pointing said horns at me. Great.

It was right then that the bluebirds on my back changed back to changelings and restrained me. I uh, I forgot about those. Man they are going through a lot of effort just to get me. If being a changeling taught me anything, it was not to freak out under pressure. That would be really cool and everything, but I don't have any other skills to my name. So instead of freaking out and dying a scary death, now I can calmly sit here and die a scary death.

Honestly I'm pretty happy with the skill. One of my few joys in life is calmly watching everything fall apart around me, because everything always just kinda falls apart. It's amazing how many things go wrong in Canterlot alone. Heck, I even get a little bit of a giggle of things falling apart for me. I'm pretty sure I need to see a therapist because that does not sound healthy. What's going on? Oh right, changelings are trying to murder me.

"Guys! Guys!" I said, stopping them from impaling me. I switch back to my natural form give them a smile. "I'm a changeling too!"

There is no way this is going to work. If you're not part of the hive, you're not part of the hivemind. Changelings dislike changelings from other hives more than they dislike ponies! Obviously they're going to 'feel' for me, not find me, and then make sure I'm dead-

"Oh. OHHHHHHH. False alarm guys! It's a changeling."

What.

The leader of the group gave a hearty laugh. Followed by the rest of group. A couple of them shook their heads at each other, while some jokingly wiped off their brows. I was let go as the whole group went from rigid to relaxed. Some even laying down, giving me a friendly smile. One of them started to clean another one's back. A changeling with a motherly feel sat me down as she started to rub my wings in a comforting manner. This is the most campy group of assassins I've ever met.

"Sorry about that kid!" The group leader looked embarrassed. You gave Jeff a huge scare there when he saw you, ah, taking care of business there."

We're are natural born ninjas and you guys are being squeamish about brutally murdering a stallion in broad daylight.

"What's a adorable little colt like you doing here?" The changeling cleaning my wings asked.

"Uhhhh." I respond with all my wit and intellect.

The Leader frowned. "That's strange I can't feel you."

Oh crap.

"I, uh. I was separated from the Queen's mind. She sent me here early as a sleeper changeling so I could give intel on the castle!"

"Ah! So YOU'RE the sleeper changeling she sent!"

Oh crap there's a sleeper changeling in the castle!

"Yup, that's me! I'm Elmer, nice to meet you!"

"Hello there Elmer, I'm Smith! I'm the commander of this here mission! I must say, you've been a very brave little changeling so far!"

What is with these changelings?!? They are so... Not changelings! Seriously you are invading a castle and are super lax about the whole deal. We are a bunch of changelings in the middle of a garden! How has no one seen us yet?!?

"HALT!!!"

Finally, the royal guards! About time. Where were you guys?!? Okay, now to just sneak out and-

"Kill them." Smith calmly murmured.

Instantly, the guards were set on fire, strangled, cut apart, impaled, and crushed into the ground. One of their heads went flying and landed on my horn.

Oh. Oh Frost.

"Are they dead?" The commander asked.

Gee, I don't know, WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?

"Sorry you had to see that sweetheart. Let's go get you cleaned up." The motherly changeling started guiding me away from the bloodbath."

"Johnson, clean up this mess! Frank, bring that kid back when he's calmed down, he has intelligence we need about the Summer Sun Celebration." Smith ordered.

The Summer Sun Celebration? What do they need to know about that? The changeling, apparently named Frank, led me back into the castle. He took the form of a pretty mare with pink fur and a yellow mane. Remembering that, I too am a changeling, I took on the guise I normally wear around the castle.

"Oh my, such a manly looking stallion! Teehee~!"

Considering normal drones have no sexual preferences, that was unusually and annoyingly gay. Quietly, we headed back to my room, with the occasional girly giggle from the manly looking royal guard next to me. Still in a daze from watching a group of stallions and mares who probably had loved ones and significant others get easily slaughtered, I didn't notice the bath was already filled.

"Alright sweetie! In you go!"

I swear as he lifted me up he squeezed my butt. I felt it. He has no sexual drive. I KNOW he has no sexual drive. This is getting really creepy. Okay, okay. Time to focus. He'll totally be suspicious if I tell him I don't know the plan. I should...

...

No they won't.

"So I have no clue what the plan is, could you fill me on the details?"

"Sure thing Beefcake! Do me a SOLID, and switch back to your cute little normal self will you?"

I need an adult. Please. I NEED AN ADULT.

"O-okay! I'm cleaning myself now! So uh, think you can fill me in?"

"Well sugar, how much do you know?"

Luckily, I know what it's like to be a sleeper changeling. I AM Prince Slumber, after all.

"Well, Chrysalis said she had an important task for me. After that I slowly fell asleep. I woke up about a week ago in a form I didn't recognize. I shortly found out afterwards that every night I've been sleep walking to a infiltrator and giving him info on Canterlot Castle. Since then I've just been on stand by."

"Yep yup! That pretty much adds up with what we've been told about the sleeper changeling. Glad to know you're the real deal sweetcheeks!"

That poor, poor changeling, I'd hate to be in his hooves right now.

"So, listen closely. The hive isn't doing so good from the last time we tried to take canterlot. Luckily, we were easily able to bounce back thanks to the love given to us by Prince Slumber! Although we now have more than enough love to take canterlot, we don't really have the love we need to hold the capital and take over the rest of Equestria. The Queen's plan is to capture Celestia with the love Slumber provided, and have a decoy made from the new prince to take her place. Since Celestia is such a complicated character, Queen Chrysalis thought it would be best to try make a version of her under our control in order to fool everyone."

"I KNEW IT!" Celes exclaimed! "I knew she was a fake! She doesn't notice anything wrong because she's not suppose to notice anything wrong! I am Celestia! I am the real Celestia!" I think this is the first time I've seen her give a smile that wasn't manufactured in some way.

Electric, currently not in his 'absolutely insane rapper' mode. Calmly watched the filly bounce in place in her seat. "Elmer, is this true? Is she really the princess?"

"I'm not gonna say anything until the story is over."

"It doesn't matter." Celestia beamed. "I know who I am, my little changeling. Thank you Elmer for telling me. I know you must be conflicted, but I appreciate you giving me peace of mind. Don't worry, I won't force you to raise a hoof against your kin when the time comes, I swear."

...

So to summarize so far: I screwed over Equestria and then went to the most dangerous place I could've gone to get away from it all. Awesome.

"After we replace Celestia, Chrysalis will hide nearby making sure everything is kept under control. When the time comes that the Sun is to be raised during the Summer Sun Celebration, Chrysalis will take the Decoy's place and soak in the love all the ponies will pouring towards their princess! While the real princess raises the sun from a place nearby concealed. With this love, we'll be able to hold canterlot long enough to drain the town and begin our conquest!"

"So uh, where are we in this plan exactly?"

"Oh, we're just about to make the decoy! You've been such a good little helper so far, would you like to come see the new prince?"

"Uh, yeah! Wow, to think there's a new prince! I can't wait to meet him."

"That's the spirit my manly little stallion!" Frank gave me a nuzzle on the cheek. Ew. "Let's go!"

I really don't want to meet him. First there's Swap. Who went horribly, although he technically worked. Then there's me a year later, and now a decade down the line we have this shiny new hunk of junk who's bound to fall apart by the end of the day. Gentlecolts, this is why Queen Chrysalis became QUEEN chrysalis. She's stupid, emotional, unskilled, selfish, and all around a bad ruler; but when she decides to play with DNA, you will see why she was made a Queen. Making a successful prince takes hundreds of years. She did in half of one. If she was just a bit more creative and cunning, Equus would be doomed.

Frank led me out to the gardens, again. Man, Changelings must sure like gardens are something. I don't really like or dislike them myself. When we approached the labyrinth, I saw a circle of changelings surrounding a little filly. All of the changelings were drawing some pentagram of sorts around the little pegasus. Near the center of the changeling group was a baby changeling with his head raised high, as if he owned the world.

"Prince Puppet, Infiltrator Frank reporting for duty, sir!"

"Very good! Just on time!" The little guy's voice squeaked, it would be adorable if we weren't in the middle of some cult circle. "Who's the kid?"

Oh, so I'm the kid? "I am the sleeper changeling they sent. It's a honor to meet you, sir."

His demeanor completely changed. He dropped his somewhat haughty look, and instead got a sparkle in his eyes. Suddenly he ran up and tackled me with a hug. Confused, I laid there as he bounced around me. As if he suddenly remembered who he was, he stopped and took a stiff, serious pose in front of me, and bowed.

"Prince Puppet, reporting for duty sir! I have everything ready to go! Will you give us a hand with the process?"

Now that's interesting, why the change in attitude? Does the squirt really like sleeper changelings or something? I know princes tend to look up to the previous ones as role models, but I don't think any prince liked a previous one to the point they worshiped a changeling based off them. Still, it was pretty cute, even if he was the leader of a crazy gang of killers making some cult pentagram around a little filly-it's not cute anymore.

"What exactly are you doing, prince?"

"Come on and take a seat bi-er, sir! All you need to do is focus your stored up love on me and I'll do the rest! I'll explain the...the..."

"Process?"

"Process! I'll explain the process as I do it!"

As I took a seat, the pentagram took a hellish red glow. Because of course it took a hellish red glow, why wouldn't it? It's not like that's totally noticeable and does nothing to help the process. Besides, what better way to say 'HEY! I'M A BAD PONY!' than make your pentagram have a hellish red glow? Besides, isn't our color of choice acidic green or something?

"SO!" Prince Puppet yelled over the unnecessary loud noise being made from the really evil looking ritual. "WE FOUND A FILLY THAT WAS SICK AND NEAR DEATH AND STOLE HER! NOW WE'RE ERASING HER MEMORIES AND REPLACING THEM WITH CELESTIA'S. ALSO, WE'RE FORCING THE MAGIC THAT'S TIED TO HER LIFE TO BURN FASTER SO SHE'LL BE STRONG ENOUGH TO COME OFF AS CELESTIA! SHE'LL PROBABLY ONLY LIVE FOR A WEEK BUT THAT'S MORE USEFUL FOR US ANYWAY. AS I SPEAK-"

Yeah I heard enough. I scrape one of the lines of the pentagram with my hoof and the whole area exploded into a bright green light. rubbing my eyes, I saw the filly in question standing up, staring at all of us. She instantly jumped back and landed flat on her back. Idiot. Lucky for her, everyone, including me, was too shocked from the explosion to react to that. The little pegasus filly got up and ran like heck towards the maze.

Sighing, I got up with everypony else and ran towards the filly. If I can reach her before anypony else does, I might be able to get her to-

"GET AWAY FROM THAT CHILD YOU FOUL MONSTERS! I'LL TEACH ALL OF YOU DEMON IMPOSTERS!!!"

I really thought green would taste a lot better.

The filly stared at me. I expected a look of horror. Maybe a look or rage. If anything, disappointment. Instead, I got the look of a pony that couldn't really comprehend what she heard. Electric quietly scooped her up and started quietly singing to her.

One dark stormy night,

A lost scared filly.

Give light to the beaten path,

She'll, find, her way...

One dark stormy night,

A lost scared filly.

Hearing her sweet father's voice

She, found, her way...

The filly started to quietly sob.

Don't cry now...

Daddy's here...

Open your eyes now

Nothing to fear...

One dark stormy night.

A lost scared filly.

hearing her sweet father's voice.

She, found, her way...

Sighing, I ordered another drink. Probably the last time I'll ever to drink anyway. Today really, REALLY sucks...

Author's Note

So did I ever tell you guys I'm terrible with fragmented sentences? Because I'm terrible with fragmented sentences.

Thank you Lufian for going over this with me.

You Can't Pick Your Family

I watched as Koolaid gently rocked the filly back and forth. After crying, she fell asleep peacefully in his arms. That's rather nice and all, Frost knows the poor girl needs a rest, but I can't really continue my story as she sleeps. I don't really know what to do in the meantime. As soon I fall asleep, I'm doomed, so I can't really take a nap either. All that really leaves is making small talk with Koolaid, who is, well, Koolaid. Not really having the opportunity before, I stopped to take a good look at Electric Koolaid.

If I were to sum Koolaid up in one word, it would be 'Clown.' Electric has bright, lime-green fur. In stark contrast, his mane was a light pink color. The same light pink as Celes' actually. He was wearing a dark purple jacket that was too small to zip up. I'm guessing it was for style more than anything, although why I couldn't guess; The jacket only added to his completely garish appearance. His eyes were a dark orange. The kind that kinda gave you the chills if you looked at it for too long. Overall, the stallion looked like how he acts, unhinged. Remembering that ponies have cutie marks, I glanced down at his, a cup of liquid being split out turning into a haze of clashing colors. I decided to ask what was considered the best universal conversation starter.

"So how did you get your cutie mark?"

Koolaid stopped rocking Celes and turned to look at me. His tale was thumping and he was tapping his hindleg hard against the floor. Despite being on his high, he seemed to be keeping his cool. He suddenly got a nostalgic look on his face as he collected his thoughts.

"I was born to a rather poor unicorn family. Even if you are poor, if you live Canterlot, you usually are a noble, which entitles you to certain benefits."

"You're a noble then?"

"No, I'm not, and my parent's weren't either. Because of this, both of them had to work to pay the bills. Living in Canterlot is pretty expensive. When I was ten, something happened to my dad. Suddenly, he quit his job and started drinking and betting the money we had on races in Cloudsdale, probably hoping to get lucky."

"Why did he do that?"

Koolaid wore a frustrated expression, with a sigh, he seemed to relax. "I don't know. I didn't bother to find out why. I was young and angry, and blamed everything that went wrong on him. My mom didn't seem to blame him, so I guess something awful must have happened to him. I never bothered to find out why, and I guess I never will now."

"I'm sorry to hear that..."

Koolaid gave a gentle smile. "I was pretty torn up, but since I've entered this bar, I've been getting better." He looked down at Celes and stroked her mane. "Besides, instead of focusing on how things went wrong with my parents, I want to make sure I'm there for my daughter."

"So you worked it out then?"

"That she's Second Chance? Ever since I saw her I had a feeling, but what you told me pretty much confirms it."

"When you started telling your story, I started to suspect she was your daughter, but I didn't want to give you false hope."

Koolaid tightened his grip around Second and kissed her forehead. Rocking her back and forth again. I sighed, closing my eyes and rubbing them. Talking about things really did help, but today still really, really sucks.

"You still haven't told me how you got your cutie mark."

"Oh, my apologies." Koolaid straightens out again pushes his mane back. "With my father turning into an imbecile. I in turn also became a complete idiot. Alas, I was a determined idiot who wanted to make my parents happy again. So I started learning the way of an illusionist. I thought if I could entertain my parents maybe my mother wouldn't be so miserable and my father would stop drinking. Everything I did only seemed to bother my parents, but the children at school loved it. Making the other kids happy made me feel better in turn. Eventually I struck gold as I learned my Mother loved it when I played music. I found that I enjoyed making music as well. As I got older, I just put the two together the best I could."

"You became a DJ, music and parties."

"Precisely."

That makes sense I guess. I wonder if Electric Koolaid is his real name or just a stage name...

"...How long does my daughter have to live?"

Koolaid stared at me nervously. That's the million dollar question isn't it? What exactly happened to Second Chance back there? My best guess is they were going to use her life force as fuel to make her into a somewhat decent imitation of Celestia. I doubt they could get power equal to the goddess herself, but using about 90 years all at once would definitely get them close. Instead, Second got only her childhood memories and only a vague idea of Celestia's current life. When I interrupted the spell, that should have damage controlled it somewhat, but not to this degree. She's simply gone from frail and sickly to healthy. It's as if she has a natural resistance to changeling magic. The only ones who can resist changeling magic though are change-

...No.

"Koolaid, important question regarding your daughter's health." I try to calm down and look Koolaid in the eye. "How did you lose your wife, and how long ago was it?"

A flash of pain crossed Koolaid's face. "About 8 months ago-"

Ohhhhh-.

"She just disappeared-"

-hhhhh no-

"The royal guard couldn't find her. No one knows what happened to Flower Fields..."

Iiiiiit's a smaaall world afffter allllll~

I cleared my throat. "I'm not really an expert on these things, but...30 years, maybe. I interrupted the spell, and because of that it didn't affect her as strongly as it could have. That alone shouldn't have helped her to resist it as much as she should've though. It's possible she could have a natural immunity if her mother happened to be a changeling."

Koolaid's face twisted into confusion. "Flower wasn't a changeling. We were married for ten years. I would've caught on eventually. I don't think it's possible. Can a pony and a changeling even have a foal?"

"If the changeling stays in the form of a pony the whole entire pregnancy period, then yes. It's a bit rare, sometimes a changeling in disguise for a long time just puts up with it. They find it better than switching back briefly and then trying to explain to their lover how they're not pregnant anymore all the sudden."

"I loved Flower Fields, and I know she loved me back. I don't..."

'Just because I'm a changeling, doesn't mean I didn't love you.'

"Just because she was a changeling, doesn't mean she didn't love you."

Electric Koolaid quietly sat there. With what was probably the hundredth sigh that day I scooted over to Koolaid and Second and poked her gently.

"Mmm?.."

"Hey Celes, you wanna hear how this ends or sit this one out?"

"I would like to hear how this ends, thank you Elmer." She smiled gently at me.

Geez, what a strange family this is...

Have you ever had your brain get fried so hard that it starts mixing up your senses? Be able to taste green, see emotions, you know, have everything get real mixed up? I have never been more freaked out in my life. Reality was literally falling apart at the seams, and don't know if I was actually moving forward or tasting running. Luckily, I was actually moving forward, and soon found myself outside of the stallion's (who I now know to be Koolaid,) little...fuddle bubble; Whatever you want to call it. Looking around I saw the little filly, (Who is obviously Second,) stuck in the magic buck-up bubble. My first thought was to run off and have nothing more to do with this situation, but when I saw Second, something inside of me screamed to get her to safety. Looking back, it probably was motherly instinct, or something along the lines.

Dashing towards Second Chance, I stuck my hooves inside the bubble and lost all feeling in them. Grabbing her, I flew off towards the maze, there were a lot better places I could've probably gone, but it was the first place I saw, and anywhere to get away from here. I didn't really have a second to relax and think, as my little damsel in distress decided to buck me in the gut as hard as she could. With the wind knocked outta me, I dropped her and she bolted off into the maze.

"YOU'RE WELCOME!!!" I yelled after her.

Okay, okay, the little filly got away that isn't really all that bad. I mean, she's in the castle maze, why would Changelings even head out there? ...Then again, why is every changeling hanging out in the gardens, for that matter? With a groan I force myself up and check myself over. No real injuries luckily. Seems like the strange stallion wasn't a trained fighter or-

"HOLY OMNIPOTENT GOD NO!"

DEAD CHANGELINGS! DEAD CHANGELINGS EVERYWHERE! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY DEAD CHANGELINGS?!? AHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

"Bi-Big brother!"

"AHHH!!!"

I whip around and see a little changeling colt flinch away from me. Okay, okay, it's just Prince Puppet, calm down. The lime green one is gone. W-well, when you think about it. It's not like the ponies I watched get murdered was any worse. I mean, it's kinda different, I'm the same species as these guys but-

*Hic*

Oh, Puppet's traumatized, right.

"Hey kid, you alright?"

"Th-they're all dead..."

"Yeah." I pull him in and give him a hug. "Yeah that happens sometimes."

"M-my friends... They are were all my friends."

You could have the purest heart in the world, or a complete and total crazy psychopath, at the end of the day, you're a just somepony who's tired from it all...

"Kid, go back to Mom and tell her what happened."

"But-"

"Don't worry about what if, just turn into a royal guard or something and get out of here. I'll chase after the filly alright?"

Puppet rubbed his eyes looked at me. "Be careful big bro, okay?"

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

Puppet stared at me for a second longer and ran off. Geez... If the kid wasn't crazy I'd probably enjoy having a little brother.

...He just called me big brother.

"WAIT! PUPPET! HOLD ON!"

Aaaand he's gone. Does he know I'm Prince Slumber? Do they all know I'm Slumber?!? Then what about the sleeper agent?!?

...I am the sleeper agent, again. Of course I am, what was I thinking?!? Chrysalis can't make any sleeper changelings until she eats me! She could've made another prince, but she obviously spent the time making Puppet! I am the frikkin sleeper changeling, AGAIN! Oh Frost why?!? I thought I was getting away from... Why would she make me aware of being a changeling if I was suppose to undercover though? Uuuugh! This doesn't add up! Okay, deep breaths...

First things first. I put on the disguise I usually use around the castle. A earth pony by the name of Rusty Socket. My idea with him was to be kinda boring and dull looking, somepony nopony would pay attention to. Somehow, I worked my way up to being the royal treasurer. Turns out being slightly competent puts you above 99% of the nobles in this place. I think Celestia may have also liked that I wasn't a very flashy pony. It's a little hilarious that the state funds are being manage by a changeling, but whatever. I work hard at my job anyway.

I gave a serious nod to the royal guards as I passed them in the maze. If they were actual ponies, I was someone important enough they wouldn't bother. If they were changelings, they probably just assumed I was one of them. If they didn't, I could just switch back for a second and glare at them. Now that I'm actually moving, I can think-Ah! There she is!

"Hey, Lil' Filly!"

She didn't looked hurt at all. I gave her a warm smile. She was probably nervous, the poor thi-

"Did you find the filly?" She scowled at me.

"What?" What?

"Then why are you bothering me?!? Keep looking!"

Hold on a second. "Forgive me sir, but... Why are you disguised as her?"

The filly look alike groaned and face hoofed. That's a bad sign. Crap, if I just screwed up some plan of theirs that will make me look suspicious. I tried to keep my nerve as she glared at me.

"Didn't you get the order!?! There's no way she could've escaped without help! Some of us are pretending to be her in hopes of luring out her allies!"

Crap, they're catching on to me!

"My apologies sir!" I saluted. "I was unaware. I will continue my search!"

"Good." She grunted. "Now go!"

Not wanting anything more to do with changeling, I turned and hurried towards the castle. If they haven't found her yet then she was probably already out of the maze by now. Especially if she had Celestia's memories. I would be strange for her not to know how to navigate her own labyrinth. I breath a sigh of relief as I approach the front of the castle. It was a little nerve wracking to be surrounded by all those walls. Okay, now that I have time to thi-

"Yo!"

Oh come on!

"You work at the castle?"

"Yes, how may I help you?"

"DJ PON-3! Apparently the princess wanted me to play at the summer sun celebration?"

Oh crap, I can't let her into the castle!.. ...Or can I? If they want her talents for the summer sun celebration, I doubt they're going to shove her into a cocoon or anything.

"Hey, you okay there pal?"

"Y-yeah, uh..."

What am I thinking?!? Even if they're not planning to do anything to her, it's still incredibly dangerous! I need to get her to leave!

"Hey, you're looking kinda pale-"

"Pon3 right? My name is Rusty Socket, I am the royal treasurer for Canterlot. I apologize but there's an emergency going on the castle. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to go back."

Pon3 frowned. "What's going on? Does the Royal Guard have it under control?"

"Um, we're working on it."

"And what exactly is happening?"

Don't say changeling invasion!

"Griffon invasion!"

No! Stupid!

"I mean Parasprite infestation!"

"Uh-"

Better! Now just ask her to leave!

"I'M NOT A CHANGELING!"

NOOOOOOOOOO-

"OKAY! Okay! Calm down dude! It's okay! I believe you."

"R-really?" Breathing a sigh of relief.

"Yeah!" Pon3 gives me a smile. "I mean, I live in Ponyville and I know how crazy parasprite infestations can be! It's alright bro, calm down! I dunno what's up with the changeling or griffon thing, but if you really were a changeling you would glow red on a detection spell."

My whole body glows red as she lights up her horn. Her smile disappears.

Oh crap.

Why

Okay, don't freak out! The average unicorn doesn't know combat magic-what is she charging up, WHAT ARE YOU DOING-

ZAAAAAAAAP!

"WHY?!?" I screamed, barely dodging in time. "WHY DO YOU KNOW LETHAL MAGIC?!?"

DJ PON-3 decided to answer with another blast of magic. To be specific, this blast of magic would focus less on tearing through me, and more on decaying my bones and rupturing my major blood vessels. Unicorns are scary dude! I change back into my natural form and gave her the saddest puppy eyes only a small child could make.

"I'M NOT EVIL I DON'T WANT TROUBLE I WAS JUST TRYING TO GET YOU AWAY FROM DANGER I'M JUST A LITTLE COLT PLEASE DON'T KILL ME I DON'T WANNA DIE!!!"

DJ PON-3 raised an eyebrow, and then cast a more subtle spell. "Alright, if you're so innocent, then talk, who are you?!?"

"I am a small, innocent, lovable child." Her horn blinked red. "I-I am a small, lovable child." Her horn blinked red again, "I am a small child?" Blinked red. "...I am small." Blinked green.

The irritated musician scowled. "Your name, changeling!"

"Oh. I'm Elmer." Her horn blinked red. Oh come on! "...My name is Prince Slumber." Green.

"You're a prince?"

"The one and only." I snark. Her horn blinks red, I wince.

"How many are princes are there? What are you here for?!? What were you trying to do to me!?!" The DJ snarled.

"In order you asked; There are eight princes-" Horn blinks red. "-seven princes and one king. Only two princes are currently alive today. I came here to run away from my hive. Sadly, my hive decided to invade canterlot again right as I ran away from it. I was trying to make you get away from the castle and make the townsfolk evacuate."

"...Are you still loyal to your hive?"

"I bear loyalty to no one." Her horn blinks red. Wait, what? "I bear no loyalty to Queen Chrysalis or her hive." Her horn blinks green.

"Wait, do you feel loyalty towards ponies?"

"Of course not." Her horn blinks red.

...Her horn blinks red?

"I...I don't know." I whisper. Her horn blinks green.

DJ PON3's horn stops glowing and she looks at me curiously. I flinch as she walks up and plops down right next to me. Suddenly both her hooves slap me on the face as she grabs me roughly and raises her shades. Vibrant pink eyes stare at me intensely. Trying my best not to freak out or wince, I pray she doesn't decide to zap me on the spot.

"...Yep!" She says

"Yep?"

"Yahuh."

"Yahuh."

"Yeah."

"...Yeeeeah?" This is getting stupid.

"Yep."

"Um." I blink. "Okay, cool. So uh...can I go now?"

"Yeah, let's go!"

"Great, It was-what."

"The name's Vinyl Scratch!" She said, making a strange pose. "Alright Prince, let's go!"

"Don't call me prince!" I snap. "And what you do you mean let's go?!? Go where?"

"To the castle!"

"And do what exactly?"

"Stop the changelings, duh!" Vinyl exclaimed, skipping off towards the castle.

She isn't serious is she?

...

Oh Frost she's serious!

"You're a civilian!" I yelled, "I just recently saw a group of changelings easily murder a royal guard! What makes you think you'll do any better?!?"

"I'm a DJ, duh."

My brain stops for a second. "Wha-how does-no, what? No! It doesn't work that way! I don't..."

"I AM THE VICIOUS MOST DELICIOUS FLANK STOMPING MUSICIAN!"

"Koolaid-"

"NOW YOU ALL SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN AND GET READY TO LISTEN!"

"Koolaid!"

"WE DJ'S MAKE A QUICK BEAT, GIVE A SLOW BEATING!

"Electric Koolaid!!!"

"FOOLS ARE SO-"

"KOOOOOLAAAAAAAID!!!"

"Yes Elmer dear?"

"May I continue please?"

"Oh, my apologies."

"Right, so-"

"You're a Disc Jockey! At this point I'm not questioning your ability to fight, but WHY can you fight?!?"

Vinyl stares at me for a couple seconds. "What's a Disc Jockey?"

Slowly, I crawl into a ball and rock back and forth. No, this can't be happening. This is totally ruining... I don't have a plan, that's right, I never had the chance to stop and think. I don't think anypony has done any thinking today, or changeling for that matter. Okay, okay, calm down. That's fine, look at this way. You're not failing because you can't handle the situation, you're failing because you haven't bothered to handle the situation yet. That's fine, just make a plan now-

"Enough sitting around!" Scratch exclaimed, "Let's go-"

"NO!" I screamed! Enough is enough! "I'M TIRED OF SCREWING AROUND AND WATCHING EVERYPONY DIE! WHY CAN'T WE JUST DO SOMETHING SMART FOR ONCE LIKE GO TELL CELESTIA THAT CHANGELINGS HAVE INVADED HER KINGDOM?!?"

"Good idea! Let's go!"

"..."

WHY DIDN'T I GO DO THAT FROM THE START?!?

"No, you're going back to town, I don't need any help telling Celestia that changelings invaded her kingdom?"

"Oh really? Okay little guy, what are you going to do if a changeling finds you out and tries to stop you?"

"Run?"

"And there goes Equestria." Vinyl snorts. "You don't seem very good at fighting little dude, or dealing with other ponies for that matter."

"You're a frikin DISC JOCKEY! What makes you good at fighting?"

"I don't know what that is, but I'm a DJ dude! All DJs are wicked at fighting!"

"That is absolutely ridiculous-"

I wasn't able to finish that sentence, as Johnson jumped out from behind Vinyl.

"DON'T WORRY ELMER BABY! I'VE GOT YOUR-AAAAUUUUUGH!!!"

Johnson never got to finish that sentence, or anything else for that matter. As Vinyl stabbed him through the throat with a large knife. Johnson gurgled on his own blood, and then went limp. Vinyl calmly wiped off her knife, and pocketed it; with a smile on her face the whole time.

"WHHHHHHHYYY?!?!?"

"Why what?" Vinyl frowned.

"N-no, NO! Why! WHY! WHHHYY! WHY! WHY! NO WHY! NO! NOOOO!!! NOOOHOOHOHOOO!!! WHHHHYYYY!!! WHY! Why! Why... W-...why...why...why...why..." I curled up into a ball.

"...You okay little dude?"

"Whyyyy...whhhyyyyy..."

Vinyl winced and rubbed her shoulder. With a sigh, she trotted up and picked me up with her fore-hooves, hugging me gently.

"Hug it out man." She quietly said. "Hug it out."

"W-whhhyy...whhhhyyy...why...why..."

"Come on Slumber, pull it together."

"Why..."

"Dude, Changeling invasion, come on!"

"Why-"

Vinyl smacked me across the face, hard. Hard enough to rip my cheek open.

"Woah!!! Sorry!"

"It's okay, I needed that..."

"Wow dude," Vinyl said, Giving me stern look. "You're like a total marshmallow."

"Thank you Vinyl, I was unaware."

I sat there a continued to sulk, trying to pull myself together.

"Do you...do you want me to hug you again?" She quietly said, I shook my head. "Do you want me to mix you up some wicked beats?" I shook my head. "Do you want to go tell Celestia that terrorists are invading her kingdom?" I paused for a second, and nodded my head. "Okay," Vinyl gave me a smile and put a reassuring hoof on my back. "Let's go tell Celestia terrorists are invading her kingdom!"

Why...why...why...why...

...

Okay.

Okay, okay. I'm good. I'm fine. I'm just with a psychopathic Disc Jockey that knows lethal magic and likes to stab ponies. I'm probably fine, she's giving off a faint aura of love. Just because she's horrifying doesn't mean she's not a pony... I'm moving again, screw Canterlot. There has to be someplace in this world that isn't crazy. Someplace like...like Ponyville. Yeah, Ponyville. It's close enough to canterlot that it probably gets help in case anything goes wrong, yet is a small, secluded enough town that nothing crazy ever happens. I'm sure nothing bad ever happens in that town. Seriously, what's the worst that could happen there?

Focus Elmer, that has yet to come. We can think about what hole I'm going to hide after I prevent the changeling apocalypse. I look over to my 'partner'... DJ my butt, what kinda DJ carries a big, sharp knife around wherever she goes-

Quietly, I felt a part of my soul die as I watched my former husband pull a knife out of his ridiculous jacket.

"...Mr.Koolaid," Second speaks up, "I'm afraid I already know the answer, but pray tell, why are you carrying a large, sharp knife?"

"I LIKE TO STAB PONIES! I LIKE TO STAB PONIES BECAUSE IT'S MY JOB!!!"

"You..." Please don't say it. "But you..." Please PLEASE don't say it. "You're a disc jockey..."

"Ah yes, about that, what exactly IS a disc jockey?"

I felt a comforting small hoof stroke my back as I slammed my head against the table over and over.

"Compose yourself Elmer, you have made it through today alive, I'm sure this is nothing in comparison." Second gives me a smile.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Thanks Sssccc-eles."

"Are you alright?"

"Don't worry about it, we're getting off track. So then-"

"So Vinyl, you said you were hired for a job here?"

"That's right! I played at Ponyville the night Nightmare Moon turned back into princess Luna. Both the princesses liked my work so much, they hire me whenever they have big party going on in canterlot!"

"So you were at the right place at the right time huh?"

"Pffff! Yeah right!" Vinyl stops and glares at me. "If that's all it took to get the attention of the princesses, then anypony could work for them. It was my skill that swept them off their hooves!"

"A-ah, sorry..." She must take her job very seriously.

"Don't sweat it kid."

...Having her along might come in handy, actually. First things first. I change back into my pony form, Rusty Socket. Vinyl raises an eyebrow, but doesn't say anything. What, did she just expect me to walk around the castle in my natural form?!?

"Vinyl, I have an idea."

"Huh?" Great, she was wearing headphones.

"Vinyl, You're going to meet up with the princess so she can hire you for the Summer Sun Celebration right?"

"More or less yeah."

"Then I can just claim I'm escorting you! Boom, problem solved!"

"...Was there a problem getting to her to begin with?"

...Well now I feel stupid.

"W-well, either way, looks like things are going to be-"

Vinyl and I stopped and stared at Vinyl standing before us.

What.

As I opened my mouth to ask what's going on, the other Vinyl shot my Vinyl with a bright green magical blast. Oh crap. I dived towards the left of me, not because I saw something coming at me, but because I KNOW they're going to be attacking me too. I guessed right, as four changelings just dived towards the spot I was standing at. Crap, I'm made of wet tissue paper and a butterfly could beat me in hoof-wrestling! What am I gonna do?!?

"SLUMBER! GET OUT OF HERE!" Vinyl yelled, stabbing a changeling while shooting a hole through another's chest.

"But-" Woah! Where did they get the shovels from?!? And why-

"You have to warn the princess!" Vinyl bucked the fake D.J. in the face, "Go!"

I hate to leave her, but she's right. Hiding behind a pillar, I switched back into my natural form. When the changelings that were hounding me jumped around the pillar, I took a stance of attack, looking confused.

"Where did he go?!?" I yelled.

"Quick, spread out, don't let him escape!" The apparent leader of the four changelings said.

I rushed back into the battlefield, only to turn around and rush down the hall. Once I was a distance away, I put my disguise back on, I wouldn't want the guards killing me-Oh come on.

Waltzing up to me in the most annoying, arrogant manner was the changeling decoy pretending to be the little filly. What is he doing in here anyway?!? Suppressing a groan, I waited for the little nuisance to take it's sweet time trotting up to me.

"I'm ready, take me to Luna!" The decoy barked out.

I blinked, Luna, why Luna? "Yes, of course sir!" I quickly replied. "My apologies sir, but in case you haven't heard, my horn has been damaged. I'm stuck in this form." Please don't call me out on this. "I'm afraid I haven't been able to hear the sweet voice of my glorious queen all day. What is the current plan?"

"It is time for Luna to join us. Soon, she will be under our control." He sneered. "When the summer sun celebration comes, we will be prepared."

Shoot, Luna! "What does Luna have do with our plans for the celebration?" Crap, how I can save her?!?

"Nothing, really." Celestia dismissed with a hoofwave, "It simply would be unwise to have the Alicorn of the night roam free during the party." Great, they're not complete idiots.

Okay, okay, so they're after all the alicorns. Wonderful. Have they gotten Celestia yet? Oh Frost no I don't know what we'd do if-wait, no, relax. They were trying to make a fake her just hours ago. Due to the failure and chaos, they might have put off Celestia until a later time. I tried to remember who else was attending the Canterlot Summer Sun Celebration. If I remember right...

"And what of Twilight Sparkle?" Please let her be free still. The filly and I entered the left wing, I looked for a room to stuff this dipstick in.

The fake filly barely flinched "She won't suspect a thing! We have everything under control. Now stop asking so many questions! There are still a few ponies around this castle!" He snorted.

Yeah I've heard enough. "Sorry friend. This the end of the line." I growled.

Focusing on the little bit of love Vinyl gave me, I shot a stun beam on him. He went down...surprisingly easy. He also didn't switch back, which is strange considering being a filly isn't useful for fighting. Confused, I hit him with a spell more focused on ripping off disguises. No dice, still a filly.

"Are you the real deal?!? Aw crap..." She was the real deal, the whole frikin time! "I was tricked a stupid little filly!"
` "NOW YOU ALL HAVE ME SURROUNDED BUT YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME!"

"Shoot!" I yelled.

Oh crap, Vinyl! That sociopathic unicorn clown is going to murder her! Ohhhh man! Give me a break! I run out towards Vinyl...only to run back in.

"Look, I'm sorry okay?!? Just...just stay there! I'll be right back!" I yell at the Filly, who obviously won't stay put once she can move.

This is stupid, this is stupid, this is all so stupid. I am dead, she's dead, were all dead. Canterlot's dead. The changelings are dead, everypony-

"ELECTRIC KOOLAID'S ON FIRE, I'LL SOON BE HOME FREE!"

What kind of loser names their kid Electric Koolaid?!? I come in to see a changeling get thrown across the wall. Vinyl seems to be the only one left standing. See him about to smack her with the wide arc of a spear, I rush towards them screaming. Vinyl slashed open and!..switches back to her changeling form. It was the fake. Where is the real Vinyl-Oh Frost he's after me MAKER PLEASE NO-

"NOW I'M TAKING OUT-OH HEY, I GOT A LETTER!"

A strange grey mare with loopy eyes is handing him a letter. With a smile, she gives him a happy wave...and me too? With a peppy twirl, she just turns around and leaves. ...Never mind all the dead bodies surrounding her I guess. How did she even get in here-

"HOPE IT'S ABOUT MY DAUGHTER GETTING A LOT BETTER! DEAR ELECTRIC KOOLAID, WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU!.." Re-regret to inform you. We regret. I regret, I uh, I-I can't... We regret to inform you your daughter Second Chance..." The strange unicorn breaks into tears and drops his letter. Curiosity and bewilderment overran my sense of respect for privacy. I picked up the letter.

Dear Electric Koolaid, we regret to inform you your daughter Second Chance has passed away peacefully in her sleep. This evening at 5:35 PM she her heart unfortunately shut down due to medicinal overdose. Please contact the Morticians at magical frequency 167935.89 and a priest for her funeral arrangements.

Our Sincere Condolences,
Gold Pill.

Oh...Oh man, that's rough. I put a hoof on the guy's shoulder. ...I couldn't think of anything appropriate to say. The Unicorn shrugged off my hoof and slowly started limping out of the castle.

...

That was strange, and depressing. Mostly strange for me.

Vinyl was nowhere in sight, all the changelings are dead or have run away, and I'm sitting here undisguised with my hoof in my mouth. Sighing, I put back on my disguise. I don't know where Vinyl is, but informing Celestia was definitely a step in the right direction to fixing all of this. Surprisingly, for once, nothing stopped me on my way to the throne room. As I approached it, I nodded towards the guards and trotted through the large golden doors.

Saying Celestia looked stressed was an understatement. Court was closed today due to the preparation for the Summer Sun Celebration. Thank the Maker too, I don't know what would happen is this castle was bustling with ponies. I walk up to the throne and clear my throat. Celestia raises her and finally notices me. Odd, usually she's so alert.

"Rusty Socket, what can I do for you?" Celestia gave me a strained smile.

"Your highness, I bring terrible news! Changelings are invading the castle!"

Celestia frowned. "And you are sure of this?"

"Yes! I saw them myself! We are all in terrible danger!"

"Where are these changelings, you speak of?" Celestia snapped.

What? "Y-your highness, you can't honestly expect me to-"

"To what? Back up your word?!?" Celestia raised her voice.

What is happening here?!? "Princess please! I have no reason to lie-"

"And I see no truth in your statement! If there's a changeling here, show me one!"

...Well, this is it, it's been a fun ride. I enjoyed the time I stayed in Canterlot up until this point, might as well regard it fondly.

I change back into my natural form.

"My name is Prince Slumber, I used to be part of Chrysalis' hive. Now I want nothing to with it. Sadly, mother has a bone to pick with you Celestia. I'm afraid changelings have invaded your castle once more."

Celestia stared at me, blinking uncomprehendingly. Slowly, laughter filled the room. A laugh I recognized. One that I was very familiar with. One, that filled my heart with terror and confusion. No, it couldn't be. Celestia's eyes drooped and her head went limp. From behind the throne, through a small doorway, a changeling I never wanted to meet again walked out. It was Chrysalis, my mother.

"Ohhhhhh Slumber, this was too EASY!"

"What." I quietly said.

"Oh I'm sure you must be so confused by now, poor thing..." Mother shook her head. "Foal, you NEVER ran away from the hive! Abandoning the hive and living in Canterlot Castle was your new sleeper identity!"

"What." I said a little louder.

"Every night as you went to sleep, you snuck out of your bed and went to infiltrator to give us information on the affairs of Canterlot. We never would of come up with the Summer Sun Celebration plan if it wasn't for you, Slumber."

"Why?"

"Why what, foal?"

"So, all of this struggle was just an act?" I choked out. "Just so if i got caught, Celestia wouldn't suspect anything?"

"Yes, that was PART of the reason why!"

"Why? Why else would you do this to me?"

"When King Pariah nearly killed me all those years ago I never forgot!" Chrysalis spat. "You damn princes have a mind of your own! Our hive would have never had to worry about love again, and for what?!?"

"Ponies aren't just meal! The magic of friendship is real! We are more than just heartless predators! Ponies and Changelings can have true harmony!" Chrysalis said in a mocking tone. " I had the body of Celestia! The power of the goddess, and somehow, that hunk of junk was able to stop me! ME! HIS OWN MOTHER!" Chrysalis sneered "You damn brats... Already I could tell, from the time you stayed in Equestria you'd gone soft... You were just another Pariah!"

"You... You did all this, just to make me suffer?.. Out of some petty revenge against my older brother?" I sobbed. I can't believe this...

"How does it feel?" Chrysalis gave me a malicious grin. "How does it feel to have everything you believe in crushed? Destroyed? have it does feel to know your nothing? Less than nothing, a toy?" Chrysalis leaned in close to me. "That feeling you give off. That feeling of absolute despair. Right as I brake the hypnosis on a pony, before I kill them, THAT is the feeling I love most in the world!"

"You're...you're a monster..." I fell to my knees. Tears leaking out. "You're a complete monster!"

"And you're nothing but a tool I had to put up with using." Chrysalis sneered. "Run, run as far and as fast you can. Because tonight? When you go to sleep? You'll come right back to me, and when I break your hypnosis, I will RELISH in your absolute hatred, fear, and pain before I eat you!"

Sputtering, unable to see clearly from all the tears in my eyes, I shakily rose, turned, and ran. I ran, and ran, and ran as far as I could... I don't know if anypony saw me, I didn't care. It was night now, and I was in some back alley, crying my eyes out.

Blankly, I looked around and saw the small filly from the castle, and a changeling stalking her. In anger, more from what chrysalis did to me than what he was going to do to her, I pounced on the changeling and smashed my hooves against his face. I don't know how long I did that for, or when he fainted, but there I was, standing over a comatose changeling as he bled out. Numbly, I stood up and looked around. As I saw a run-down bar, the first thought I had was threatening them for alcohol, and it was a thought that appealed to me the more and more I thought about it. Quietly, I read the name of the establishment as I trotted in.

The Loser Booth.

Author's Note

Why.

Mother

It has gotten past the point of 'What is going through their heads?' to, 'What do I say to break the awkward silence?' and finally, 'Somepony please say something the silence is killing me.' For a while they stared at me, now they were just staring past me. To be honest I wasn't really looking at them anymore either. Everything that happened today...geez, it's hard to believe that was all one day.

Oh yeah.

I cleared my throat before speaking up, "So, who won the pot?"

They both give me a confused, but still blank look.

"You know, the pot with all our bits in it? The whole reason we were telling each other how our day went?"

Second gave me a chilly stare, "Mr. Elmer, princess Celestia is brainwashed by a dangerous terrorist, all of Equestria is in terrible danger, Mr. Koolaid's daughter is dead, I am running on what little time I have left, and you are going to get eaten in a couple hours. We are all about to get killed by multiple threats, and your concern right now is who gets those shiny bits on the table?"

Maybe this wasn't the best icebreaker.

I sigh and start rubbing my forehead, "Look, it's like you said, I'm dead in a couple hours alright? There are probably changelings everywhere in town looking for both of us and I have nothing better to do. I might as well see who won this before I become dinner."

"Nothing left to do?" Second gave me and Electric a incredulous look, "We have stop Chrysalis! If we don't, she's going to absorb the love of every pony in Canterlot and take over the capital! Even if the rest of Equestria took it back in time think of the casualties!"

Electric and I stare at Second.

"So," I turn my head towards Koolaid, "get one more drink and then try to get as far away from Canterlot as possible?"

BAIL OUT!!! Electric screamed.

"Elmer, Electric!" She's actually losing control of her voice for once, neat. "Nopony else is going to stop her! Twilight and Luna think that Celestia is just stressed out from the Summer Sun Celebration and having to deal with me! If we run, Chrysalis might take over all of Equestria! There won't be any place left to hide!"

You know, I heard the Manehattan Mountains are lovely this time of year. Koolaid sipped on his beer.

I scratched my chin "I'm pretty okay with the life of a hermit. I've never tried being a earth pony farmer, but there's a first time for everything I guess."

"I can't believe you two!" Second yelled. "Don't you have any loyalty to the princess Electric?!? The Queen personally went out of her way to make your life Tartarus Elmer! This is our one chance to save everypony and stick it to Chrysalis and your both running with your tail between your legs!"

"Yup!" I said cheerily, "Although your wrong about one thing."

"What would that be?" Second growled.

"The THREE of us are running with our tail between our legs!"

"What?!? No, I refuse to give up!"

"Can you move right now?"

Second stared at me for a second. "What?"

"Can you stand on your hooves right now?"

Second tried to get out of her seat, only for her to fall down on her side.

"Right." I turned towards Electric, "Can you carry her on your back? I bet we can make it to Ponyville by sunrise. Rent a room, rest up, and then book it towards Manehattan hopefully before any changelings head our way."

"YES!"

"NO!" Second screamed. "I can't do this! I can't leave!"

"Why?!?" I yelled. "Why can't you!?!"

"I don't have long to live anyway." Second glared at me. "Anytime I have left I would spend it in grief. I can't just walk away from this and forget what happened! I would rather die proud of who I am, and live on in shame of what I've done!"

I get off of my seat, bend down, and look Second in the eyes. "Listen to me. You are NOT Celestia."

Second flinched.

"These are not your subjects. You are not their ruler. You are a very brave little filly who has tried very hard, but we're not heroes Celes. We are not fighters. We don't know how to take on a changeling army. We don't know how to handle the Princesses and Queen. We already TRIED to make a difference Celes, we failed. This isn't a storybook where guts and righteous virtue make up for the lack in experience. Electric is just a Disc Jockey. I'm just a cheaply made living experiment. You are just a little filly who can't even fly-no, you can't walk right now Celes."

"I don't want to see you die. I don't even know if we can run away. I'm no hero, but that doesn't mean I don't have things I want to protect. I want things to turn alright too, but I don't have the power to do that! I might be able to take care of you and Koolaid though, and if I can do that, and at least I have you two! Can't that be enough Celes? Can't we be enough? Do we have to go get ourselves killed just to prove a point?"

Second was quiet, I waited for a response. She kept her head low, staring at the table, quietly. Electric and I nodded to each other. After calling over Fine Wine for another drink, we silently sat there, sipping on our alcoholic beverages. Sighing, I looked at the bits and gave a bitter chuckle. We're all such losers none of us could even appreciate winning the pot, how pathetic...

"Elmer, Electric, please." Celes whispered. "Help me save Equestria."

"Give it up Celes." I muttered.

"Slumber, Koolaid, please..." Celestia choked, "Help me save Canterlot."

"Celes, please stop..." Electric whimpered.

"...Mom, Dad, please." Second said, "Help me save my home."

"...I'm sorry, what?" I try to contain my panic.

"Mom, I'm not stupid." Second continued, "We're not stupid. We all know who each other are, we can connect the dots, nopony here is fooling anypony."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Half a year ago, my wife Flower Fields mysteriously vanished." Electric said, shaking fiercely, fighting for control, "We were married for 9 years, we have an 8 year old daughter named Second Chance."

"Coincidence!" I said in a louder voice than I meant to.

"You don't remember anything, you said so yourself." Second accused. "More importantly, how many sleeper changelings exist in this world? Chrysalis can't make any more until she eats you again, right?"

"She could have been a normal pony!" I shouted.

"Please remember..." Electric whispered. Remember us...remember me-"

"I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER!!!"

...

"What? What?!? I'm a, I'm a 11 year colt and you both just calmly tell me to accept I'm married t-to a stallion!?! Th-that I have a 8 year old daughter!?! Look, it's not easy okay?!? You can't j-just accept it like this! It's different *hic* when I know you're both out th-there somewhere! Not here, in f-front of me! *hic* I can't just be your mom! I can't just suddenly b-be your WIFE!!! I...I just can't! I CAN'T! Why?!? WHY?!? WHY-"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" Second screamed.

"Because we love you." Electric said with conviction, before wrapping us in a hug.

All we had to do was leave town. All we had to do is just accept that we tried out best and left. Why do I...I know why, I can't say that anymore. I'm afraid...I'm afraid, but that's okay. Whatever happens at this point, it'll be okay. All that's left after is clarity, and all that comes with it...

I transform into a white pegasus mare, with a red mane and blue eyes.

"I..." I shudder at my own voice. "I was lost and scared."

"But I found you." Electric replied.

"You were so strange, you dressed like a maniac, but you were so calm. You acted like you've seen everything there was to see in this world. I couldn't stop watching you."

"I felt so warm every time your eyes were on me."

"You didn't care what the nobles thought of you, you didn't care what anypony thought of you. You were free from everypony and everything."

"It droves me nuts how much control you had over me, I couldn't understand."

"I couldn't believe how casually you asked me to marry you, I actually believe you wouldn't care if I said no."

"It didn't matter if you'd belong to me, I already gave myself to you, no matter what."

"I thought Chrysalis telling me she was going to eat me was the scariest thing I've heard in my life, I was wrong."

"What was the scariest thing you've ever heard?" Second murmured.

"Right after you were born, they put you in my forelegs. You were wailing, and I was so scared, that I would never be the mother you deserved."

"You were perfect." Electric reassured.

"I abandoned her, I abandoned you."

"When I needed you the most, you were there for me." Second rubbed her head against my leg. "When they were going to transform me, you stopped them. When they were going to kill me, you saved me."

"I didn't know who you were."

"You didn't let that stop you."

"I remember we went fishing for my birthday. Pegasi living in Canterlot is a rarity, so they didn't sell any fish at the market. You were so determined to catch me a big one. You loved me very much."

"I still do."

"Your father watched you while I assembled the tent. You found a fish bigger than yourself, but it broke your fishing rod. You jumped in after it and bit it's tail."

"Did I get it?"

"It dragged you across the pond" Electric said with a gentle smile. "I jumped and smacked that fish with my hoof until it stopped moving long enough for me to grab you."

"You never thought to use your magic." Tears were starting to leak out of my eyes. "You could've just levitated her and the fish out of the pond, but you went crazy instead."

"I can't stay calm when I worry about you two. I never could."

"I remember when we took you to fly a kite for the first time." I smile down at my daughter.

"What did I think?"

"You were nervous and quiet. The whole time you had a look of deep concentration on your face. When we finally asked you if you were ready to fly on your kite, you said-"

"Alright, I'll fly on it, but you better hold on tight!" Electric gave a fake pout.

Second laughed, Electric laughed, I laughed. It felt so good to laugh. It was alright, everything was alright now.

"Discord broke free." I said with pain.

Second frowned. Electric froze.

"He made your father crazy. Half of the time he was suicidally depressed, the other half was spent in an aggressive mania."

Electric whimpered.

"I was turned into a changeling. I didn't know what I was, I was horrified and scared of myself. Subconsciously, I knew what I was, and I was afraid of myself. It was a nightmare made real."

"An earth pony family visiting Canterlot cornered her." Electric snarled. "They thought she was some spawn of Discord's. They were going to kill her. They beat her so much..." Electric started to shake. "I did nothing, I was in my own little world so much I couldn't pull myself together to help her. ...I couldn't handle the blame, it was too painful, so I made Earth ponies out to be evil. It was their fault, not mine..."

I swallowed a lump in my throat. "The doctors didn't know what was wrong with him. They couldn't figure out why Discord's curse was still affecting him. He never turned back to normal. I promised to always be there for him...I broke that promise."

"You came back to me..." Electric said, nuzzling me.

...

"Was I good filly?" Second asked.

"You were a very good filly." Electric cooed.

"Whenever you had doubts on what to do, I reminded you on what harmony meant to us." I recalled.

"What did it mean to us?"

I cleared my throat:

"Honesty, to keep us straight when things get crooked."

"Kindness, to help others when they hurt us."

"Laughter, to stay humble when we feel selfish."

"Loyalty, to stay faithful when we're betrayed."

"Generosity, to give hope when we have nothing left."

"Friendship, to help us believe, when we've lost sight."

Second closed her eyes and smiled. I let go of my family and put a hoof over the collection of bits.

"I think I won this round."

"Oh, how so?" Electric questioned.

"You lost your wife, and Second lost her mother for over half a year." I smile, "I lost my husband and daughter."

Electric smiled and pushed the bits my way. I give my family a cocky grin.

"Come on let's go stop Chrysalis. I want to go out somewhere nice tomorrow for a family dinner!"

The BahWah Booth

All we had to do was leave town. All we had to do is just accept that we tried out best and left. Why do I...I know why, I can't say that anymore. I'm afraid...I'm afraid, but that's okay. Whatever happens at this point, it'll be okay. All that's left after is clarity, and all that comes with it...

I transform into a tan mare with a black mane, and magenta eyes.

"HOLY CRAP YOU'RE DARING DO!" Second exclaims.

"BUCK YEAH I'M DARING DO!" I yell.

"Quick sweetheart! We still have to secure the Pendent of Veils before the necromancer gets it!" Electric yelled.

Second watched in utter shock as her parents ran out of the booth.

"AUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!" Celestia screamed, getting up. A hoof gently, but strongly, pushed her back down. Looking up, she saw her Mother's stern face.

"Stay down." She quietly said.

"But-"

"Stay down, you have already failed." Her words tore at Celestia's heart. "You failed, and if you get up now and try again, as tired and frustrated as you are, you will only fail harder." She gently explained. "Failure is not acceptable, do everything in your power to succeed. But when you do fail, fall to the ground with grace. You have already failed, so make the most of it. Rest in your failure, don't think about your problems. Recover, think about what you're fighting for and why it matters so much to you. And then, when you're strong enough to stand tall. Summon your courage and try again."

Celes focused. Stopping, and summoning all the positive chi she had in her body.

*POP*

Celestia turned back into her Alicorn self, Luna never became Nightmare Moon, Twilight ascended, Scootaloo's parents were alive again, Sombra used his powers for good, Discord was truly reformed, changelings never attacked ponies ever, Chrysalis was aborted right as her Mom got pregnant, and lastly, ponies and changelings have a strong diplomatic relationship.

"NAILED IT~!" Celestia cheered.

"I HOPE YOU CHANGELINGS ARE READY FOR SOME FUN!"

"WAIT, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT GUN-"

The FIRST thing I hear upon waking up is a scream from outside my window.

Buck that noise.

I turn my head and go back to sleep. Whatever is happening in Canterlot Castle, it's not my problem.

"W-wait! I'm not crazy!" Celes shouted, her breathing becoming ragged.

"Don't be hard on yourself sister, she plays a convincing act. Even she herself believes it."

"I was attacked by changelings this morning, I swear!"

"And this is what it ends with. Always the changelings. I wish I never told her that tale." The Adult Celestia rubbed a hoof against her forehead. "I woke up in the streets of Canterlot. Changelings. I had some strange magic cast on me. Changelings. Some strange stallion or mare is tailing me. Changelings." Guards! Come here please!"

Celes stopped and stared intensely for a second.

"I'm a fake Celestia that the changelings made that went hay wire, and you're currently brainwashed by Chrysalis."

"And do you have any proof for this outrageous claim?!?" Celestia snarled.

"Your eyes are glowing light green."

Luna and Twilight blinked, and looked at Celestia eyes.

"HOW DID WE NOT NOTICE THIS?!?" Luna bellowed.

Electric Koolaid back-flipped past the changelings, all their attacks missing him. Back-flipping into the castle, he slowly back-flipped his way past danger, abusing the invincibility frames one has while back-flipping. Back-flipping into the throne room, he dodged all three of the princesses attacks on him as he back-flipped into the small room Chrysalis was hiding in. Back-flipping up to her, he shoved his spear into Chrysalis' throat. Back-flipping back towards the front of Canterlot Castle, he back-flipped past Derpy handing him a letter. Suddenly, Second never was kidnapped by changelings. Back-flipping into the hospital, he back-flipped past the nurse telling him Second was too sick to visit, making Second perfectly healthy all the sudden. Back-flipping with his daughter back into Canterlot Castle, he back-flipped into Elmer's room and back-flipped past Elmer's memory issues. back-flipping with his wife and daughter, he back-flipped back home.

And then back-flipped back into Canterlot Castle, back-flipped past Celestia saying no to him not being the DJ for the Summer Celebration, and back-flipped back out.

All we had to do was leave town. All we had to do is just accept that we tried out best and left. Why do I...I know why, I can't say that anymore. I'm afraid...I'm afraid, but that's okay. Whatever happens at this point, it'll be okay. All that's left after is clarity, and all that comes with it...

I transform into a lime-green stallion, with a pink mane and dark orange eyes.

"CURSES!" The evil Electric yelled, twirling his mustache he suddenly gained as he ran out the booth.

Second and I stared at the exit he left through.

"You know, when I think about it, he pretty much was a psychopathic killer, it's not like he was trying to act like a good colt."

"Yeah." I agreed. "Let's go home Second."

"Okay Dad."

Author's Note

Joke Chapter.

It Would Take a Miracle

Celestia could not move. When she woke up, she was against a stone wall next to a crazy clown DJ and a pretty pegasus mare.

"I can beat you both apart!" She screamed, "I can take you both together-"

She felt a hoof clamp over her mouth.

"Sweetheart, the baby woke up." The pegasus groaned.

"She never was a morning pony." The clown replied.

"Can you take care of her?"

"I've been doing so for the last year, I think it's your turn dear."

"Why won't my legs move?" Celestia interrupted.

"You've been exerting yourself for about 20 hours now." The clown explained.

"I had to infuse you with a bit of love energy to help you wake up." The pegasus gave Celestia a friendly smile.

"Who are you?" Celestia snapped, "are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where's Canterlot?"

"Let me explain!" The Pegasus cut her off, "no, there's way too much, lemme sum it up. Chrysalis has brainwashed Celestia and stolen her place. Tonight is the Summer Sun Celebration. She is going to steal the love of every pony in Canterlot in less than...what time is it honey?"

"FEELING FIIIIIINE, WHILE CHECKING THE TIIIIIIIME!!!" The disc jockey screamed out.

His watch pointed towards 5:25.

"We're bucked."

"A little over a half an hour!" The pegasus continued, "so all we have to do is break in, stop the celebration, fix the princess, and make our escape!"

Celestia stared at this Pegasus who was grinning widely at her.

"...None of this is ringing a bell is it?" She said in a flat tone.

"SHE'S NOT A MORNING PONY!!! The obnoxious stallion yelled. "TRY NOT TO BE TOO LOUD OR SHE GETS CRANKY!!!"

Celes sighed, yesterday events were starting to come back to her. "Half an hour right?"

"Yes!" Elmer confirmed.

"That doesn't leave much time for dilly dallying." She tapped her hoof against the wall.

"HAHA YEAH! YOU JUST TAPPED YOUR HOOF! YES! GET THAT LITTLE FILLY HOOF TAP!" Koolaid cheered.

"I've always been a quick healer. What are our liabilities?"

"The least guarded spot is the front gate." The changeling prince lifted Celes up.

Celes saw Canterlot Castle before her. All the townspeople were heading in to dine before the sun was raised. She noticed there was more guards than usual.

"I sense about...600 changelings prowling around the front gate." The changeling prince focused.

"And our assets?"

"Your brains, Electric's strength, my stealth."

"That's it? Impossible. If I had a week to plan, maybe I could come up with something, but this..." She shook her head.

"YOU GOT A HEAD JIGGLE! YOU GOTTA JUST GIGGLE! EVEN IF THINGS LOOK DOWN, WE'LL JUST TURN IT AROUND! BEFORE YOU COULDN'T MOVE! YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE GROOVE! BEFORE YOU WERE A CRIPPLE! BUT NOW YOU CAN JIGGLE!!!"

Second flung her head towards Electric. "My brains, his stealth, and your strength, against 600 changelings, and you think a little head jiggle is supposed to make me happy? Hmmmm?"

Second weakly bumped her head against the wall. "I mean, if we only had a large tub of jelly! THAT would be something."

"Where did we put that huge tub of jelly that creepy pony had?" Flower asked her husband.

"I think we stuffed the creepy pony in it and left it in the back alley a block away."

"Why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?" Second sighed. "What I wouldn't give for a two cannons!"

"Sorry squirt, can't help you there." Flower shrugged.

Sitting on his hind legs, Electric reached into his small, tight fitting jacket with both of his hooves and pulled out two large pony sized party cannons.

"Would this do?"

"Where did you get that?" Flower poked a cannon.

"From a friend of mine named Pinkie. I thought it was so cool she let me have five of them."

"You're friends with the element of laughter?!?" Fields shouted. "No no no, of COURSE you're friends with the element of laughter. Why wouldn't you be? ...Wait, are you carrying five cannons in your coa-"

"All right, all right. Come on, help me up." Second grunted as Flower placed her on her back. "I'll need some form of a weapon eventually."

Flower frowned, "why? You can't even lift one."

"True, but that's hardly common knowledge is it?" Second fell off and face-planted into the stone ground. Electric picked her up with his magic, and put her back on Flower's back. Second decided to ignore the blood running down her nose. "Thank you. Now, there may be problems once we're inside."

"I'll say. How do we stop Celestia? Once we do, how do we kill Chrysalis? Once we kill Mom, how do we escape?

Electric scowled, "don't pester her. She's had a hard day."

"Sugar Bear, we've all had a hard day." Flower rolled her eyes.

The family crept down the wall they were hiding behind.

"Flower?" Koolaid murmured.

"Yes?"

I hope we win."

Chrysalis was currently grooming her celestial mane. Turning to Celestia, she petted her cheek and gave a malicious grin.

"Well Celly, it's almost time to raise the sun, isn't it?"

"Yes." Celestia responded in a empty tone.

"Wouldn't want to disappoint all your precious little subjects would we?"

"No, I wouldn't."

"You remember what to do right?"

"I will sit back here and raise the sun, while you help me by greeting all the ponies."

"Yes, I know how hard things have been on you. Poor Celly, having to manage all of Equestria..."

"Yes, things have been very hard."

"That's why I'm here to help!" Chrysalis cackled, "You just back and raise the sun, I'll take care of the rest."

"Thank you, Chrysalis." Celestia's eyes started to droop.

"No problem Celly, after all, what are friends for?"

Chrysalis suppressed her laughter. Soon. Soon she could laugh all she wants as all of Canterlot dug itself an early grave. Chrysalis loved being a changeling. She never grew tired of the fact she ended other lives by tricking them into killing themselves. That they handed her whatever she wanted on a silver platter as slowly were drained to death.

Still, she learned her lesson from before. No gloating until it REALLY ends. Because of last time, she almost felt more nervous than excited. Only 20 minutes to go, and she started to break out in nervous sweat. 'Nothing will go wrong.' She told herself. 'Your stupid son is sobbing away in a bar. It's unfortunate that we couldn't use the decoy Celestia instead of the real one, but she was only made to help make sure things go right. The real Celestia being brainwashed will do. As long as nothing distracts her as she's raising the sun, nothing should go wrong.

Suddenly, alarm and panic were sent to her by a couple of drones plastered to the wall by some strange sticky substance. Scowling, she tried to look through the eyes of drones and found the crazy killer clown was on top the wall blasting her subjects with goo. With a scowl, she sent the order to subdue the little nuisance. When her drones started to get close, the DJ ducked behind the wall to run. Chrysalis laughed in sadistic glee. Ponies acted big and tough, but when she had them cornered, all they had ever done was cower in fear and ran with their tail between their legs.

She flinched when ten of her drones got plastered to a wall again. Turning to see what idiot was causing this now, she gasped in surprise to see the same garish pony standing on the opposite wall with a cannon blasting changelings. Snarling, she reenforced her order to capture that pony. Now wanting him alive for causing her so much trouble. Chrysalis smirked, this pony was fighting for a lost cause.

A pony who could teleport was very rare. A pony who could teleport more then twice a day was even more rare. Anypony who grew up in Ponyville might be mislead to believe teleporting was a simple act. Twilight Sparkle made the near impossible look easy when it came to magic. The lime-green pony disappeared behind the wall again. Chrysalis was sure now she wanted this one alive if it could teleport twice. She would somepony to hunt down any rebels, and she couldn't think of anypony better than some powerful idiot who had tried to play hero.

Her cocky grin slowly turned into one of disbelief as the minutes went by. The unicorn had teleported eight times now, and she was down to 50 changelings. How a disc jockey had managed to take down almost 600 changelings baffled her. Chrysalis bit down on her forehooves in fear as her last changeling ran towards the cannon user. She was about to call it off when she noticed something.

The clown was out of ammo.

Chrysalis broke out a evil laugh as her last changeling now took it's time flying towards the idiot. Both of them wearing a wicked grin.

"I'm out of jelly what do I do?!?" Flower screamed at Second.

Second, who was dozing off behind the wall stared blankly at her mother disguised as her father. "Well, what do have on hand?"

"A giant empty jar of jelly, a unconscious creepy pony covered in jelly, and an empty cannon."

The disguised changeling lazily flew up to the stupid clown as it fumbled with it's cannon. It landed about 30 feet away and gave the frustrated DJ a smug grin.

"What now, pony-"

Suddenly, the changeling was blasted into the wall by a large, sticky object. Before it could rise and look at what hit it, a giant jar was levitated over it, catching the changeling. Before he could get out, it's lid was quickly screwed on tight. Using magic, the insane unicorn drilled a couple breathing holes into the jar.

Ignoring the actual ponies running around in terror, Second, Electric, and Flower ran towards the Castle.

"How much time has passed?!?" Flower yelled, panting.

Electric glanced down at his watch, "TEN MINUTES DOWN MARE! WE HAVE TEN TO SPARE!"

"Flower, you said you had a plan right?" Second asked.

"Yeah! I have to do it now before everypony-"

"Go slip in and do it then!" Second yelled, "Dad and I will barge in through the front and grab everypony's attention! We have to get to the throne room anyway!"

"Good luck, don't die on me!" Flower planted a kiss on Electric and Second's cheek and ran off.

Barging into the castle, Electric Koolaid generated a hallucinogenic field around him as he plowed his way to the throne room. Standing in front of the were five mares he wasn't familiar with and Pinkie Pie.

"PIIIIIIINKIE PIIIIIIIIE!!!!" Electric screamed, "GET OUT OF THE BUCKING WAAAAAAAY!!!"

"Pinkie, you KNOW this madpony?!?" The alabaster one recoiled in disgust.

"Hiya Koolaid!" Pinkie pulled out a party cannon.

Second suppressed a scream as Koolaid flung her onto a nearby chair.

Electric Koolaid charged towards the Elements of Harmony.

Author's Note

It's hard to say if this story is more comedic or sad, I'm going to have to regretfully say I failed at sad, and will switch it out for comedy/dark.

You Better Get Ready to Die.

"HELLO AND WELCOME! THIS IS YOUR D.J. E.K. HERE PREFORMING FOR YOU AT THE SUMMER SUN CELEBRATION! MAN!.. I GOTTA TAKE DOWN THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY?!? I BETTER WORK FAST, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!

"THESE MARES ARE IN MY WAY!"

"THEY AREN'T HERE TO PLAY!"

"I WOULD DO AS THEY SAY,"

"BUT CHRYSALIS' GOTTA PAY!"

"FRONT AND CENTER IS MY MAIN MARE BOUNCY BUBBLEGUM!"

"IF I CAN'T TAKE DOWN LAUGHTER THAN THE FUTURE'S GONNA BE GLUM!"

"THIS ADHD MARE MAY SEEM A LITTLE DENSE!"

"BUT I GOTTA WATCH OUT FOR HER PROPHETIC SENSE!"

"FIGHTING SOMEONE WHO KNOWS THE FUTURE!"

"SHE HAS A MEAN SENSE OF OF HUMOR!"

"TAKEN UNAWARE BY A PINKIE PIE SURPRISE,"

"I GRIT MY TEETH, DETERMINED TO FIGHT THE LIES!"

"PINKIE CAN BRING THE PARTY!"

"THINKING SHE'S REALLY HARDY!"

"PINK HAPPY THINKS SHE CAN TAKE MY WRAITH!"

"I'M THE ONE WITH THE LAST LAUGH!"

Hey Pinkie, I got you a present.

"Ohhhhh! Really? What is it, What is it!?!"

"Close your eyes.

My pink friend shuts her eyes and squirms with excitement. I slam my hoof into her as hard as I can, before she recovers, I headbutt her, making sure to use my horn. Reeling, Pinkie Pie falls.

"One down."

"TRYING TO CATCH MY BREATH, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO REST!"

COMING AFTER ME IS THE ONE WHO CLAIMS SHE'S THE BEST!

"THIS MARE HAS A BIG BARK, AND A EVEN BIGGER BITE!"

"WHEN SHE TAKES FLIGHT, GET READY FOR A FIGHT!"

"COMING FROM THE SIDE, NEXT IS SPEEDY CYAN!"

"CAN'T TAKE TOO LONG, IT'S BEEN 5 MINUTES SINCE I BEGAN!"

"WE'VE ONLY JUST STARTED AND THE STAKES ARE PRETTY HIGH!"

"PRISMATIC PRIDEFUL HAS TAKEN ME UP TO THE SKY."

"ONE SONIC RAINBOOM LATER AND I'M GONNA DIE!"

"BETTER THINK UP OF SOMETHING ON THE FLY!"

"LOYALTY MUST THINK SHE'S PRETTY SLY!"

"PLANNING ON TURNING ME INTO A KOOLAID PIE!"

"I'M NOT HONESTY, BUT I CANNOT LIE!"

"ALL THIS DRAMA IS MAKING ME SIGH!"

"WITH MORTAL DANGER DRAWING NIGH!"

"SWIFT BLUES IS GETTING HUNG OUT TO DRY!"

The vain nuisance flipped down, gaining the speed needed to do her signature move. Disgusting hypocrite represents an element of harmony but she's all too eager to take my life. The cocky fool is right about one thing, one of us isn't going to be breathing in the next few seconds.

"Is there any way I could convince you not to do this?"

"Aww, what's wrong? Scared now that I'm going to kick your butt?!?" She taunted.

"Very well."

I watched as the sound barrier became visible, the wretched heat torturing my skin. Gritting, I waited until the very last second before she pulled off her Sonic Rainboom. Grabbing her body, I twisted us around so she was the one taking the blow.

"OH-"

She never got to finish her sentence as the Sonic Rainboom blew her to bits...or so I assumed. Oh well, she'll soften my fall. Using her as a body bag, I roughly landed back into the castle and turned to see-

"DODGING A DIAMOND WITH MY DEXTERITY!"

"SO MANY JEWELS COMING WITH CELERITY!"

"THIS MARE CAN'T STAND MY VULGARITY!"

"I DON'T CARE MUCH FOR OUR DISPARITY!"

"I CAN SEE THE HILARITY!"

"OF HOW SHE CAN'T SEE THE SEVERITY!"

"WEAVE BY WEAVE, DODGING THEM TOGETHER!"

"RARITY'S JEWEL, CUTTING OUT MY SOFT FLESH SNIP BY SNIP!"

"MAKING SURE THE DIAMOND'S CUT DEEPLY!"

"IT'S THE PERFECT COLOR HOW IT DRIPS!"

"ALWAYS GOTTA KEEP IN MIND I'M CRAZY!"

"MAKING SURE MY VISION ISN'T HAZY!"

"I'M DODGING~!"

"RARITY'S JEWELS~!"

"SECOND BY SECOND, I'M IN RANGE!"

"THEY'RE CUTTING ME TOGETHER, TAKE GREAT PAINS!"

"GOT TO OVERCOME INTIMIDATION!"

"REMEMBER, IT'S ALL IN THE PRESENTATION-"

The uptown mare started to back away as I, the downtown stallion, worked my way towards her. Ironic, considering our origins. Slowly, I kept inching towards her, and slowly, she kept inching away. Quickly, I sprinted towards her and ignored the five diamonds now cutting deeply into my chest. I tackled her and knocked her over. With her head spinning, she looked up and saw she was laying in a doorway. Quickly, efficiently, and diligently, I slammed the door into her head repeatedly, her head jamming the doorway. I stop and stared down at the bloody mess.

"You look just absolutely fabulous darling. The bloody red complements you so well."

"EVEN AS I GO BERSERK!"

"I CAN RESPECT THOSE WHO DO HONEST WORK!"

"WITH TRADITIONS OF OLD,"

"AND A MANE MADE OF GOLD!"

"EYES OF EMERALD GREEN!"

"COMING AT ME IS THE APPLE QUEEN!"

"EVEN IF SHE JUS' GROWS FRUIT!"

"FIGHTING HER AIN'T A HOOT!"

"THOSE BE SOME HARD HITTING HOOVES!"

"AH WANT NOTHIN TA DO WIT'A THEM MOVES!"

"STARTIN TA FEEL APPALL!"

"FIGHTIN TH' BIG APPLE!"

"THEY UP AND TRICKED TH' AVATAR O' HONESTY!"

"SOON AH'LL BRING CANTERLOT AMNESTY!"

"AH'M GETTIN TIRED O' GOIN BLOW TA BLOW!"

"PUTTIN AN END TA THIS HERE RODEO!"

Dodging her lasso, I grabbed the rope before she could pull it back. Pulling her close to me, I quickly flipped her over and started to hog tie her, ignoring her biting into my shoulder.

"Why yah no good varmint! When ah get mah hooves on yah yer gunna be-wait now what are yah-"

*CRASH!*

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhh..."

I peeked out the window I just threw Applejack through.

"...We are a lot higher up than I previously thought."

"YO SOMEBODY RING UP ASH!"

"I JUST FOUND A RAPIDASH!"

"FOUR DOWN, TWO STAND TALL!"

"I GOTTA CATCH THEM ALL!"

" HEY PURPLE SMART I-OH BUCK."

"OH BUCK OH BUCK OH BUCK OH BUCK-"

"HEY HEY HEY! THE FIGHT JUST- WOAH BUCK- STARTED AND I ALMOST-"

"HOLD ON NOW, IF I DIDN'T JUST TELEPORT, I WOULD HAVE BEEN TOAST!"

"OUR ECCENTRIC ELECTRIFYING D.J. IS IN FOR IT NOW!"

"THIS MAGICAL MULBERRY MARE IS MAKING ME GO WOW!"

"I ALWAYS KNEW I'D GO OUT WITH A BANG!"

"I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE KILLED HER GANG!"

"AS SAD AS THIS IS, I CAN'T REALLY CRY!"

"TODAY SEEMS LIKE A GOOD DAY TO DIE!"

"HEY BIG BANANA, IF YOU CAN HEAR ME UP THERE!"

"YOUR FAVORITE D.J. COULD USE SOME HELP HERE!"

"Out of energy and magic, I resigned myself as Twilight Sparkle slowly trotted up to me, charging up her blast. Right as she was about to shoot me, she slipped on some rubble and misfired. Her blast ricochet off the wall behind me and hit the ceiling above her. Quietly, I watched as the princess of magic was knocked out by debris.

...

"HAHA! SUCK IT NERD!!!"

"FIVE MARES DOWN, ONE CHICKEN TO GO!"

"SHAKING ALL OVER SHE'S BACKING UP SLOW!"

"THIS FILLY'S SCARED STIFF, LOOKS LIKE I'M DONE!

"TIME TO FIND CHRYSALIS AND-Oh. Oh crap..."

Whimpering in fear, the butterscotch mare slightly back up. She was pushing up against one of the incredibly heavy pillars holding up this room. The pillar was tilted. If it was pushed any further, it would break off the part of the roof holding an incredibly sharp looking chandelier over her.

"Stop-"

From simply hearing my voice, the poor fool pushed herself harder against the pillar, the ceiling creaked and the chandelier became crooked. With a resigned sigh, I softly spoke up.

"Restart, my heart, see how I'm beating?"

"I can care too, I care for you..."

"It sprung, my lungs, see how I'm breathing?"

"I can fear too, I fear for you..."

"Rewind, my mind, see how I'm thinking?"

"I can think too, I think of you..."

"Hustle, muscle, see how I'm flexing?"

"I can fight too, I fight for you..."

"My soul, in seared, in song sacredly so. "

"Can't you hear me? Please don't fear me..."

A few steps away from the mare, she broke out of her trance and jerked herself back. The chandelier broke off and headed straight for us. Quickly, I rushed over and pushed her out of the way. Incredible pain laced through my body as large, crystal spikes impaled my flesh. Although I can't really feel bad or cry. Today really is the perfect day to die.

Author's Note

Don't worry, none of the main six dies, they just get really big booboos.

Momma's Colt.

"THIS IS HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE !" I yelled.

This did nothing to stop them from dancing around me, chanting in what I think is Latin. I pulled against my restraints, currently tied to a cross, as I watched a horde of changelings do a dance maneuver before setting me on fire. Ignoring the fact that my Mom went out of her way to set up a cross and synchronized singing just to kill me, I find myself wondering... How did these changelings successfully invade this country? Why has nopony noticed the singing and dancing yet?

Oh.

Because they've been brainwashed into singing and dancing as well, great.

"THIS SYMBOLISM IS STUPID AND MISPLACED!" I continued to scream.

"PSSSHHH!"

That is the loudest whisper I've ever heard.

"Hello?" I call out.

"BE QUIET DUDE! THEY'LL HEAR YOU!" a familiar voice calls out.

"Vinyl, you are shouting into my ear." I monotone.

"WOAH, HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?!?"

Oh yeah, I still look like Flower Fields. Man what is with DJs and shouting?

"Vinyl, it's me, Elmer! Now shut up!

I just realized that I have way too many names.

"ELMER?!? WOAH DUDE! YOU MADE IT OUT OKAY! HOLD ON I'LL HAVE YOU DOWN IN A SEC!

How has nopony heard-

"Hey! What are you doing over there?!?" A changeling yells.

I shouldn't have jinxed it.

"There, you're free, now let's get out of here!" Vinyl pulls me down.

Oh now you're speaking at a normal volume. Still I have half of my job to do and only minutes to spare.

"Vinyl, I need to where Celestia is going to raise the sun for the Summer Sun Celebration," I yelled.

"What are you gonna do?!?"

"I'm gonna overdose on love!"

Vinyl stopped and stared at me. "What?"

"Did I stutter? Come on, less talking more moving!"

The two of us ran till nopony or noling was chasing us anymore... Wait, why was nothing chasing us anymore?!?

"Vinyl! Where is this? Is this even the castle?"

"Dude, I ran the heck out of there right as soon as I untied you!"

What?!? No!

"TELEPORT US." I shoved my snout up against hers.

"Uh, dude-"

"TELEPORT US TO THE CELEBRATION, NOW."

"I uh, I don't really know how to teleport."

I started to laugh manically, probably due to the stress finally breaking me in. "THAT'S A RISK WE'LL HAVE TO TAKE! TELEPORT US TO THE CELEBRATION, THE FATE OF CANTERLOT DEPENDS ON THIS!"

"But I live in Ponyvill-"

"AND I'M DYING IN PROBABLY LESS THAN 24 HOURS, BUT THAT'S NOT STOPPING ME! TELEPORT US, NOW."

Vinyl backed away in fear. After a few seconds she started to light up her horn.

"I mean, I've read about how to do it but... don't say I didn't warn you dude."

There's no time for this, come on come on come on-

I was knocked out of my thoughts as Vinyl teleported us. Trying to shake away my nausea I looked down and almost cried in joy. There it is, the celebration! I'll make it in time, especially at the rate we're falling towards it!

...

From the sky, because we were teleported miles high into the sky above the celebration.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH- Wait."

I'm a pegasus right now.

Grabbing Vinyl I tried to steer us towards the banner while pulling up, hopefully it would break our fall a little... and saw that I was going to crash into a small foal behind the banner. Veering to the right, I flipped Vinyl and I around so I would break her fall. Agonizing pain shot through my body as I lost all feeling in my left hind leg. Shakily pushing myself up, I find out much to my horror that something lobbed my left hind leg right off. I resisted to urge to vomit I transformed my open wound into a nub to stop it from bleeding. I don't even know if that's how it works honestly, I could just be internally bleeding now, but hopefully it did something.

Man, I must be the only mindless stupid doll of a drone to go and get my leg cut off for a pony. The things I do for love...

At first I started to panic, as everypony around me started to scream and riot, but when I thought about it, this probably worked to my advantage. I turn to Vinyl and- oh. She's knocked out cold, plastered into the ground. I thought I fell on something soft. Guess I flipped us too far and just rotated her all the way to the front again or something. This would explain how I'm still alive I suppose.

...Good, she's still breathing.

I put her up against a wall so she wouldn't get trampled on. As long as she's not dying, Vinyl can wait, Chrysalis cannot; That goes for the both of them. I picked up my black, hole filled hoof and tried to stealthily limp my way towards where Celestia was going to make an entrance and avoid attention. Which pretty much translated to I loudly and slowly hobbled over to where everypony's attention was previously while holding a disgusting, torn off limb that was leaking blood everywhere.

"Hey you, halt!" A royal guard barked out.

Oh great, just what I need, what could I do to... ah, I know.

"HELP, A GHOST HAS POSSESSED MY LIMB!" I screamed.

I revealed my horn and used a little bit of magic to shoot my limb towards a civilian nearby. The mare screamed in horror as the limb landed on top of her, she tossed it towards somepony else. The guards were knocked down as ponies started to thrash about and play hot potato with my leg.

Today has been really weird.

Taking advantage of the chaos, I slipped into the small entrance that led into the castle that Chrysalis would be heading through any minute now. Taking a deep breath, I focused.

I almost vomited from trying to transform.

No! I'm so close! I can't be out of juice now! My family's love is worth more than that! I have what it takes to do one more transformation, come on... come on!..

I grit my teeth in agony, it felt as if three days of starvation was condensed into seconds. Trying to make a leg, even as a illusion, was impossibly hard.

I'm close...

"You!" the voice I fear the most snarled.

I'm so close!

SHUT UP!!! another voice I didn't recognize screamed out.

Chrysalis turned back towards the waiting room in shock. That gave the time I needed.

I transformed into Celestia, and quickly trotted out towards the crowd, trying to maintain my composure.