Beep.
Why can’t I move?
Beep.
Why are my eyes so heavy?
Beep.
I can barely feel my legs. What in Tartarus—
Beep.
And what is that incessant—
“Beeping!”
My eyes shot open as the shout escaped my cracked lips. There was a commotion from somewhere nearby; gasps from other surprised mouths made a cacophonous harmony with the banging of what I guessed were chairs falling over.
Beep.
“Oh, Celestia—”
“Somepony get the nurse, quick!”
“She’s awake, she’s finally awake…”
Beep.
I swallowed hard and squeezed my eyes together again, trying to block out the persistent, lid-piercing light from above. I blinked a few times and allowed the light to slowly restore my vision. Though my body remained immobile, I was able to move my head slowly to the side.
My friend Aqua Lung sat beside me, her blue hoof to her mouth. Luminous Spark lay on the ground, her blazing mane askew, having fallen off her own seat if the collapsed chair next to her was any indication. I blinked a few more times and shifted my eyes around.
Beep.
I tilted my head to the other side, still trying to work my mouth properly. I was surrounded by thin, white curtains on either side. A strange apparatus displayed seemingly random zigzags on a screen. A tall stand next to the squiggle-box housed a half-empty bag of some clear solution. Following the cord from its origin, I noticed that it ran underneath the white blanket covering me.
Beep.
That damnable box, that’s what keeps making the noise. Why won’t it shut up?
Beep.
Oh, now you’re just being irritating.
Beep.
“Berry Punch, how are you feeling?”
Minty Shake had returned. Behind her solid green flanks, she brought with her a smiling Nurse Redheart. Minty approached my bed, drooping bags highly present beneath her gorgeous golden eyes. “We really thought we’d lost you, Berry. You scared the living daylight out of us all.” She placed her left hoof on my bedside and used her other to caress my forehead gently.
Beep.
Lost me?
“Please, Berry, promise us you’ll never do that again.”
Do what?
Beep.
“I… I… uh, promise?” What is going on?
My eyes shot open as my three friends descended upon me and covered me in a triple hug. Water glistened off Aqua’s cheeks; Luminous did her best to blink back her own tears; Minty kept a wan smile upon her face, holding herself slightly further back from the other two.
Beep.
“Girls, please. Give Miss Punch some breathing space.” Nurse Redheart and her clipboard appeared next to me, her eyebrows now lowered at me. My friends lightly released their group hug and stepped back, allowing Redheart to scrutinise me. She grasped my right foreleg just above the hoof and held it, her eyes on the machine with the squiggles and her lips moving soundlessly.
Beep.
“Your pulse seems normal. Temperature’s still a little high, but not life-threatening. How are your motor functions?”
“Er…”
Beep.
“Never mind, let’s see. Open your eyes. No, wider.” A bright light illuminated my face, filling my vision, though the pain was milder than expected. “Good. Pupils... reacting... well. Check.”
Beep.
“Excuse me? Nurse? What exactly is going on? What's with all these tests?”
Beep.
“And can you please silence that infernal machine?”
Beep.
I watched as Redheart nodded softly, padding her way around the other side of my bed and lightly pressing a button on the side. I waited a few more seconds…
…
Nothing.
Thank Celestia.
“Your vitals seem pretty good, for the most part.” Redheart and her clipboard had returned to my side, Luminous and Minty looking over her shoulders. “You may be eligible for discharge in a few days. Of course, I’ll be regularly monitoring you, so I’d really appreciate it if you took it easy for at least a week after that. And I’ll have to change your drip soon too, I suppose.” She gave a nod to me, then turned to Aqua. “Don’t lay it on too thick, at least at first. She might have some short-term memory loss, but I’m sure she’ll be okay after a while.”
“Thank you, Nurse.” Aqua gave Redheart a grateful smile as she made for the door.
“One more thing, Miss Punch.”
I looked up.
”You’re lucky to be alive, luckier still to have sustained minimal injuries. The Pale Pony was robbed last night, and he and everypony else knows it, too. Do not waste this second chance.”
It was all I could do to incline my head in acknowledgement. ”Um... sure.”
Once she'd departed, I tried to sit upright, the pillows behind my head and back beginning to slip out from beneath me. A sharp pain jolted through my back, sending me into rapid, minute spasms. For a second, my body shook beyond my control.
“Hey, hey, Berry, don’t stress yourself too much. Settle down, girl.” Minty was once again beside me. “She and Doctor Horse are right, though. You should really take it easy, follow their advice.”
“Look, I’m fine, girls. Please, can somepony tell me why I’m in this bed, these—” I glanced under my blankets “—pajamas, what in Tartarus this thing is sticking out of me—”
“You got drunk and fell off your balcony.” Luminous held a hoof over her mouth. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to just blurt it out like that...”
“Settle down, Lumie. Let the mare’s brain catch up to her. But yes, Berry, that’s pretty much what happened.” Aqua held my hoof again as fresh tears began to stream from her purple, bruised-looking eyes. “You’re lucky the fall wasn’t very far. You had to have your stomach pumped, though. That wasn’t pretty.”
“What?” I blinked at Aqua and Luminous. “But I haven’t had a drink since… since…”
Suddenly the memories all came flooding back.
“You talk about yourself like you have the mental wherewithal of a potato. Give yourself some credit! From what I can tell, you seem like a pretty smart pony. You communicate well, a staple of intelligence.”
“It depends if the potato's baked.”
“It doesn't matter if the potato is baked, raw or mashed. The potato needs to smile more.”
“They... they don't smile, they're potatoes.”
“I mean, you, you silly potato. Life is an amazing thing—enjoy it!”
“That’s right, keep telling me to enjoy a life where I’m restricted by my failing liver, my lumbering body, my gastric reflux… You and everypony else would be better off without this deformed potato. It amazes me why you all even bother associating with me at all. Not all of us are fit for friendships, or companionship. The closest thing I thought I had… it ended when he simply got bored and walked away. That’s proof enough for me that he never cared, and that nopony ever will.”
Berry.
“Believe it or not, I’m actually not interested in living long enough for the cancer, strokes and dementia that I undoubtedly have coming my way to settle in. I’m not sure I’m willing to go that far just yet, but it’s probably only gonna take one more to push me over the edge. Being hit with reality hurts.”
Berry!
“It’s funny how much much we fear death, yet when it becomes a very real possibility, accepting it is… surprisingly easy. Good riddance, too. It’s not like I’ll be missed.”
“Berry!”
I shook my head, jerking at the sound of Aqua’s voice. “Oh, sorry about that. Just kinda lost in thought.” I shuddered. “...I said a lot of really crazy stuff last night, huh?”
Aqua, Minty and Luminous shared concerned looks. “Crazy doesn’t begin to cut it,” Luminous said.
“Girls. Did I really fall off the wagon?” I watched as their gazes all shifted to me, their eyes downcast.
“You fell, Berry. You fell real hard,” Aqua said. “You kept going on about how without alcohol, your life had become boring and meaningless.”
“Even more boring and meaningless than normal!”
“Lumie!” Minty shot her a dark look.
“What?”
Minty rolled her eyes. “What she means is, more so than you normally harp on about it.” She turned a blank look my way. “Which isn’t true, by the way.”
I sighed at my friends. Now that I’d been awake for a few minutes, even more memories began to return. Life had been a long, painful, drawn-out struggle between my mind and my under-gifted body. The reflux, the addiction, my self-esteem woes…
“I mean, you can really do so much,” Aqua resumed. “You’re so much smarter than you want to admit to yourself. All it’ll take is a little commitment to something, but you can’t seem to get off those video games. Honestly, if you put half as much effort into something truly meaningful as you do repeatedly speed-running Swifty The Echidna with your eyes closed, Celestia knows what you could achieve! But since you gave up drinking, they’ve absorbed your life.”
“Heh, that’d be a nice excuse,” I choked out. “The real problem is it’s not easy for me to do much of anything because I don’t have any skills.”
“You’re super-bucking-amazing at bashing the slop out of yourself. That’s a skill.”
“Lumie!” cried Aqua and Minty simultaneously.
“Really, girl, you have got to keep a lid on those outbursts!” Minty put her face in her hooves for a second, before looking up at me again. “She has a point, though. For too long you’ve been doubting yourself: afraid to try, afraid to accept help, afraid of rejections so much that you fail to ever make a move toward friendship or otherwise.”
“We’re your friends, Berry Punch,” Minty said. She brought herself closer again to the bed and put a hoof around Aqua. “We care about you. You may not, but that just means we have to try that much harder to help you see the truth.”
“What I want to know is, who’s filling your head with this mumbo jumbo?” Minty cocked her head, a single eyebrow raised. “Because I’ve never seen you so negative as in recent weeks.”
“You’re not worthless.” Luminous approached the crowded bedside and placed her hoof around Aqua’s other shoulder. “Despite what you’ve been feeling the past year or so, we can see your worth. You’re our friend. We love you. Promise us once more—never pull a crazy stunt like that again.”
I stared into the multi-coloured eyes of my friends. I knew so many ponies in my life: my mother, father, extended family I rarely saw, acquaintances from nights on the town and my old school… But these three…
Aqua Lung, her heart worth its weight in gold.
Luminous Spark, the mare who’d never been afraid to speak her mind and stand up for me.
Minty Shake, the only mare I knew with an encyclopedic knowledge of gaming to match mine.
Three of my best friends, all united by my selfish act.
To think that I’d almost left them behind…
“Thank you, girls. I promise I’ll never get blind rotten wasted and fall off my balcony ever again.”
All three of my mares looked at each other, eyebrows raised. Seconds later, their faces began to crack.
“Well, that's something at least,” Aqua said. “Filly steps, Berry. We'll help you get back on track.”
All three leaned leaned over and gave me another group hug. As I felt their love permeating through me, I wondered how I could ever let any of them down.
“We’ll be watching you like griffons for the next few weeks, you know that?” Minty said.
“You’ve got a long road ahead of you, Berry dear, but we’ll be there for every step.” Luminous’ brilliant pearly whites clashed with her flaming coat and mane.
“We can’t fight your personal battles for you, but we can be there to fall back on if you ever feel like giving up.”
I smiled at Aqua. “I’ll be counting on it.”
Author's Note
Happy Birthday, Chrono!
By the way, I like to imagine that this is you, conquering your own demons. I know you have it in you.
Also, bonus internet cookies (and maybe real ones too when I see you next) if you get who each character in the fic represents....
