Spike Destroys (Creates) Everything

by Surry

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Random
Length: 1038

Spike tries to write a bad self-insert fiction.

Spike has talent, but not enough to save his kooky story.

Published 2014-04-06 21:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-06 21:10:01 UTC

Spike Destroys (Creates) Everything

Spike Destroys (Creates) Everything

Spike was flying high over Ponyville one day, despite not having any wings. He was just floating, kinda', but still flying nonetheless. He was determined to not care about anything today, especially the laws of gravity. He didn't care about physics-y stuff in the least.

"I'm so angry!!" he yelled. "But at the same time, I don't care about anything!"

From up above in the blue sky, he saw Apple Bloom down below, merrily attending an apple cart. She had just finished selling a bushel of apples, when suddenly Spike swooped down to come say hello. He planted his feet firmly on the ground and snarled at her.

"Hello!" he bellowed. "How are you today Apple Bloom?!"

She peered over the stand. "Oh, hey Spike," she chirped. "You're lookin' adorable as always!"

"NOO!!" he screeched, quickly blasting a tight ball of green flame into the side of her stand.

Apple Bloom screamed and jumped away, as her precious apple-stand was blown clear to the sky, disintegrated instantly. A pile of ash and smoke filled their vision, and she swiftly ran off to go hide from him.

He fell to his knees... and began to cry.

"Wait," he whimpered, reaching a clawed hand in her direction. "All I ever wanted... was a friend."

He turned, tears streaming down his face, and came eye to eye with a rather large group of Ponyvillians. They all looked at him with utter disgust and contempt, and he abruptly floated up into the air to get away.

"You'll never catch me!" he yelled down to them.

Just as he was about to make his getaway, he—

SPIKE!

"Spike!" Twilight yelled in annoyance; her patience had clearly run thin.

The dragon startled, setting the piece of paper back down on the desk in front of him.

"Gah!" he yelped. "What did I say?"

Twilight was reading a book at a desk adjacent to his, stacks of them piled high all around her. She covered her eyes with a hoof, clearly disappointed, and let out a long, tired sigh. He patiently waited for a response from her.

"Nothing, nothing," she dismissed, shaking her head. It took her a moment, but she finally turned from her chair to face him. "It's just... kinda' bad so far."

"Kinda' bad?" he repeated questioningly. "How so?"

"Lemme' see this," she said, levitating his piece of paper up to eye-level. "Well, first thing's first... you just blew up Apple Bloom's stand? What, in all of Equestria, would possess you to do that?"

"I don't know," he mumbled. "I just thought it'd be cool to blow something up."

"Oooohhkay..." she rolled her eyes. "So, you're flying too in this story. Did I get that right? With no wings? At all?"

He scratched the back of his head. "I was gonna' get to that part later. I swear."

"Mhmm," she agreed skeptically, continuing to read over what he had written so far.

There was a long silence between them as he waited for another response. His frown only deepened the further she went down the page, but then, she suddenly stopped and set it back down in front of him.

"Vociferate?" she asked inquisitively, "Since when did you get such an extensive vocabulary? I'm sure you pulled that thesaurus out for a lot of this. Am I right?"

He picked up the piece of paper in his own clawed hands again, staring glumly upon it. "Actually," he paused, "no... I didn't. I can tell you think my story is stupid, though. Maybe I shouldn't try writing after all."

"What?!" Twilight cried; she quickly put a hoof on his shoulder. "I didn't say that at all. I just didn't understand a few things."

"It's okay, Twilight. Really. I know it's dumb."

"Spike," she finally got him to look up at her. "I would never want to discourage you from trying anything new, especially not writing your own stories. You already have most of the building blocks to put one together. I just think you need somepony to show you how to put it all together for yourself... Somepony like me."

At last, he began to smile. "Well, I know the idea might be a little ridiculous, but that's just because it was an experiment really. I had no idea what I was doing."

"Nopony ever does have an idea of what to do when they try something new," she assured him. "That's why it's fun sometimes to pass on what you know to those who are starting fresh... like what I'll do with you." She scooted her chair closer to his. "So, I know I might've come off as a little harsh, but I really do want to help you. Will you give me another chance?"

He chuckled lightly, gleefully allowing her to encroach upon his work space. Taking the pen within his hand again, he set the paper back down on his desk and let her look at it as well.

"Alright," he said quite anxiously. "What's the first thing I need to do?"

"Well, you said you want to blow something up, right?" she asked, receiving a frantic nod as her answer. "Very well. I just want you to write the best explosion you possibly can, just to show me what you can do."

He inhaled deeply, summoning some courage from deep within, and put pen to paper.

"All at once," he began, "Spike's flame tore through the building, ripping it asunder in every direction. Consumed by the intense heat, planks of woods disintegrated into nothing, glass was thrown about every which way, heavy chunks of debris were sent—!"

"Good," Twilight smugly interrupted, "We got that down, pat. Now, onto the real parts of a story."

"Huh?" he cocked an eyebrow at her. "What're the real parts of the story?"

She calmly took the pen out of his hand using her magic, and began writing on another sheet of paper next to his.

"First, let's start with what all good stories should have!" she chirped.

"And... what's that?" he inquired.

"An exposition. This story doesn't have one at all," she explained.

"It doesn't have an ending, either." he added.

fin.