One Horn Too Many

For a moment, they stood still, frozen by the sight of a large creature in the shadows looking directly at them.

And large it was. Though they could only see the edges of its form, it was readily apparent that it was easily as tall as a man, and much more imposing. Its head had to be as long as their forearms, doubtlessly its mouth could open much wider. And the light reflected at least one beady eye transfixed on their frozen figures, as if it debated eating them.

But seconds stretched, and the creature remained as still as it had always been. Then more questions came to them, as the inevitability of death moved further away. If it was so big, how could it live in this place without starving or dying of thirst? How could it even survive?

No, it didn’t make sense.

Hesitantly, they took a step closer and both men realized how much the darkness had played with their minds.

“Eh, just a statue,” Pierre said with a confident smile, though his shaken tone implied otherwise. “Of a pretty creepy looking horse, but still, a harmless statue.”

“And since when do horses have horns?” Edward deadpanned, moving his phone to illuminate better the top of the statue’s head.

Curious, Pierre took a few steps left and could thus see that his friend had been right. Atop the horse’s head, popping from under its stony mane, were two curled-up horns.

Taking this new information in, he paused for a few seconds. With a shrug, he turned to his british companion. “Well, technically, since Antiquity. The ancient Greeks believed that unicorns were actual animals. They’re not even part of the mythological texts we have, just the accounts of fauna.”

“Are you blind?” Edward asked in a deeply sarcastic tone. “That’s no unicorn.”

“Maybe the artist saw them this way. Like the idea of telling a blind man to draw an animal on descriptions alone. I guess that a ‘horned horse’ was the thing they told the sculptor and that’s what he did. As for the shape... Well, what horned animals are more common in Greece than goats?” he explained with a simple shrug.

Then, his eyes went to his friend, whose shape was half hidden by the shadows of the crypt. There was no telling what thoughts were brewing inside his head, and his following question was only answered with one thing.

Bitter silence.

Proof that he had accepted, reluctantly, Pierre’s arguments and conceded.

“You know,” Edward said suddenly, striding between a few priceless artefacts then looking back at the statue, “for a hidden cache of ancient secrets, this stuff is...kind of strange?”

“Be careful,” Pierre told him, while he pointed his phone toward the ground. “There could be snakes or other venomous critters in this place.”

There was an annoyed retort. “I’m not oblivious, Frenchie.”

“I wasn’t… Oh, just get bitten for all I-”

The words died out in the crypt without an echo, cut short as if strangled. Curious, Edward glanced back, an inquiry just about ready to be asked. However, when he did see him, he realized that it wouldn’t have been answered anyway. The French brony was staring at the statue silently, with a fascination beyond that of anything he had ever seen before.He was almost in a trance, his gaze locked with the unmoving creature’s.

Light danced over the horse’s eyes, but it was not coming from either of their phones.

Edward felt the blood drain from his face. This was not normal at all. Stories, old stupid stories about cursed tombs and dying explorators came to mind and he could only see Pierre, staring as if possessed.

Mechanically, Pierre stretched his arm forward.

“Wait! Don’t touch it!” Edward shouted.

And, as one clenched a hand around the other’s arm, the tip of Pierre’s fingers made contact with the marble statue.

There was light, pain, then darkness over them.

--

It should have been quiet. Somehow, the world should have changed to fit it, to make the whole party as deadly silent as they could only imagine it. The words and laughters of the guests didn’t reach their ears. They moved while the two were frozen. The music was a distant, muffled beat so far away it was surely at another house. The pulse of blood in their veins alone was a much louder sound.

It had to be a joke. A prank played in bad taste to break the ice between them. But even when they prayed for this to be the right answer, neither could find themselves believing it.

And, at once, their thralls was broken. Everything came to life again when one gray bicorn mustered his voice.

"No,” Edward spat, his front hooves falling down in a frustrated stomp. “Not in a million years, I have no intent of seeking love while I'm stuck here."

The young princess only sighed sadly, briefly closing her eyes. Of course, she had seen an objection of the sort coming. For them to still be celibate, there had to be a reason, and she had an inkling of an idea as to what that could be. So, Twilight did her very best to sound patient and understand, "Edward, a bicorn stallion of your age should be well on his way to a happy well-rounded herd."

"Not gonna happen, Princess,” he growled and blew hot air out of his nostrils. “Pierre might go along with it, but I want nothing to do with this farce, especially if I'm not even given the dignity of choosing my own mate."

"I did offer a chance to give input, but you chose to ignore me!" Twilight protested, her face slowly turning red.

"Of course I did, just like you ignored us when we explained where we were from."

She reeled back, as if he had hit her. "B-but that has nothing to do with this at all...besides I didn't ignore you, I listened to your story in full!"

"Yet, here we stand, no closer to getting home. Instead, we have you trying to set us up on dates. You’re not trying to help us at all." And he pointed his hoof in accusation.

Slightly behind his british companion, Pierre glanced thoughtfully at them both. Edward, clearly on the verge saying things they would regret, and Twilight, aghast, blinking slowly.

At that moment, a thought struck him.Truly, he shouldn’t. Why would he? Maybe because he felt it would help them, or it was just foolishness and perhaps seeing Twilight Sparkle so disappointed made his chest ache. He shouldn’t, but already knew his decision had been made the second he had felt the guilt tighten his throat in a knot. Mentally calling himself an idiot, he raised his voice.

“Euh, you know, if it’s already arranged...” he started, swallowing back his fear. “Well, perhaps I could… I mean, that doesn’t bind me to anything, right? It’s only a date.”

The look Edward gave him… At best, it could be seen as begrudging concern about the amount of alcohol in his bloodstream. At worst, it was more akin to sheer bafflement and questionable sanity.

Not that Twilight cared to comment on that, too happy that one of them had chosen to be cooperative. “Of course, Pierre,” she said with a smile. “I chose the most compatible partner with the information at my disposal, but ultimately the choice will belong to you both.”

“Though that doesn’t solve the other problem. One of them is going to be dateless, because I’m not going.”

Twilight bit her lips, forcing herself not to show her annoyance through a scowl. Edward had spoken with a tone of finality. With just the sample experiences of the last two days, she could tell convincing him to not let all her work go to waste would be hellish.

Looking strangely pale, Pierre spoke up again. “...Just let me meet both. We’re supposed to start herds anyway, aren’t we?”

And he applauded himself for saying it with a straight face.

By this point, Edward seemed almost scared. Had Pierre lost his mind entirely? “What is wrong with you?” he asked in a hushed whisper.

“Nothing, just let me handle this,” the French stallion replied just as swiftly.

"Well,” Twilight said with a pensive look, “...the mare chosen for Edward would very likely be incompatible with you, Pierre, so I thank you for your kindness, but I'll simply rework this one."

For a moment, it seemed as if the last of a small light had died out in his eyes. He shook his head head sadly, refusing to meet anypony’s gaze. Then he spoke a few words, quietly enough that it was doubtful either Edward or Twilight heard, “I see, so we truly have no say in it whatsoever.”

Placing a hoof over his mouth, he took an unsteady breath and fought an all too real nausea. “I think the alcohol is finally getting to me. I’ll go get some rest upstairs.”

This time, Twilight’s gaze held concern and then worry, when Pierre insisted that he was only tired. She surprisingly listened, leaving him to make his way through the partying crowd with naught but his own dulled senses.

“Should never have let him take any punch,” Edward grumbled under his breath.

“He’s right, you know?” Twilight said, ignoring the comment. “I don’t understand why you would reject the selected mare without even meeting her. She would be a great partner for you.”

“Why am I not surprised? The princess somehow knows exactly what kind of girl we’d like...after knowing us for what, two days?”

“Technically less than that,” Twilight admitted slowly, annoyance creeping into her tone, “but I already had comparative charts that allowed me to crosscheck certain traits in the registers we have.”

“You don’t know the first thing about us, so even those charts would be useless. If you know us so well, then what’s my favorite food, or Pierre’s favorite music? What are our hobbies, what things do we hate? If you know us so well, surely these questions should roll right off the tongue right?”

Twilight bristled. “You are only asking questions you believe I cannot answer to confirm what you think!”

“That really doesn’t answer my question, now does it?” Ed pondered, rubbing his chin, a condescending smirk upon his lip.

Twilight let out a growl of annoyance. “In the end, those questions don’t even matter; I might not know every single detail about your lives, but I did my best. It’s ultimately more important that I came to a rational decision on a fair and compatible mate than looking for a perfect special somepony.” Regaining a bit of composure, she let out a long breath. “I’m sorry if you don’t agree with my choice, but it was the best I could do on such short notice.”

“Be that as it may, choosing a mate for us at all is the issue, you have no right to deem who we should love. I bet Cadence would be ashamed at you trying to force this on anypony.”

“I have this right, Edward! Love is not the issue here! You can’t not know that!”

“When it comes to you, I never know what is going through your head.”

Her eyes going wide, Twilight stuttered in indignation, a sneer escaping her control while she tried not to shout at this utterly unreasonable bicorn. Half-formed words died on her lips as her eyes started twitching. With an exclamation of frustration, she turned around and left as quickly as possible.

Smirking, Edward looked at her go, right up to the point where she became indistinguishable within the mass of ponies. Then, his eyes went to the stairs and where his friend had disappeared to. His smirk slipped off.

Giving a long sigh of his own, the brash brit made his way up, his rage still churning within his gut. He hoped that perhaps finding and talking to his companion might help, at least a little.

--

It did not.

“Well, that could have gone worse.” Pierre hummed, tiredly rubbing his forehead with both of his hooves.

“Yeah, you would say that, you lustful baguette polisher!” Edward seethed, still enraged by the prior engagement with who he was beginning to view as the absolute most infuriating individual he had ever met.

“Get out of my face, Edward!” Pierre pushed him off, his tone more heated than what he had accustomed him to. “I know what I agreed to!”

“Do you, do you really?” Edward asked, still far from convinced.

Pierre looked at him straight in the eyes. He did not break eye contact, nor did he seem particularly ashamed of giving in to whatever madness had possessed him. With a very levelled voice, he started explaining, “I agreed to a date with a mare. A bicorn mare, in case you didn’t notice it on your file while you were busy yelling.”

“I’m more than aware of who you are humoring,” the brit retorted, matching his friend's gaze with one of his own. “My issue is with how that has in precedence here?”

“If there is anyone in this town that can tell us everything that we need to know, it’d be another bicorn, don’t you think? I’m getting really sick of having those things sprung on me every time we get a little comfortable. At the very least, I don’t think I’ll be snubbed by a bicorn mare.”

“Even so, you are only allowing Twilight to continue her ludicrous behavior!”

“...Do you think she’d stop either way?” Pierre whispered. “I offered to go on a date with both and she prevented me from trying.”

“If we fight, then we can bring about change, surrender is nothing but a blessing of consent in her eyes.”

“I’m not going to give her anything, Ed. I’m finding out the whole story, then we can decide exactly what we need to do.”

“If you wanted information, the herald of our misery lives in a library. Did you ever think of looking there?”

“I have trouble stomaching her presence at this point. I’m sure she’d monitor us so we don’t find the wrong things.”

“Wow, you’ve finally stopped looking at her in those rose glasses of yours, huh?”

Quietly, Pierre pawed at the ground. “...Yeah, I did.”

It did not feel like a victory to either of them.

Sighing, the exhausted Edward could do nothing but watch as his companion exited the room leaving him to his own thoughts. I have no idea why you are so determined to be pulled along on this ridiculous charade, but I hope you know what you’re doing. Shaking off his depressing thoughts, Ed decided to retire for the night. If anything, a good night’s sleep would help him collect his thoughts.

His head swimming with the possibilities and the worst scenarios, he lowered himself on his new bed and closed his eyes. Not too long after, he heard the floor creaked and a door opening. Pierre had most likely chosen to imitate him and had gone to rest too.

Barely ten meter away from Edward, Pierre had indeed slipped under the covers of his bed, and, just like his companion, there were dozens of ideas hustling around in his head.

“What have we gotten ourselves into?”

--

The Royal Sisters’ duties came to switch in due time, with the moon rising once and completing a full revolution across the skies without any incident disturbing the night. Across Ponyville, the inhabitants only started to stir when Celestia’s sun rose above the horizon. The light filtered through windows everywhere, and more than one ponies reluctantly pushed their covers aside.

In one such house, silence still remained undisturbed until the slow trot of a bicorn moving downstairs softly echoed though it.

His head still foggy with tiredness, Pierre took note of the few leftover garbage left from last night’s celebration. One more thing they would need to do today. He was sorely tempted to drop down on their couch and forget he ever wanted to do anything at all. It was rather obvious that nopony truly believed their claims of being humans, thus it was unlikely they could count on their help to go back. Who else could they ask?

As he sulked in his half awake state, he was jolted back to the land of the living by the sound of knocking at the door of his new home.

Ears perking up, Pierre turned and went to the front door. Distantly, he wondered who could possibly be visiting them this early in the morning. There was always that one possibility that seemed more likely than the others, but that only brought unpleasant thoughts. Luckily, the mare at the door was not Twilight Sparkle, even if she did have a horn.

“Bonjour Mademoiselle Rarity,” he said sleepily.

She moved a pristine white hoof over her mouth, holding back a gleeful giggle. “Oh, I do so love that Prench accent of yours, Pierre. It is simply divine.”

“Merci,” he thanked her while trying to cover up a blush, something that the mare in front of him seemed to find adorable. “Eh… C-can I help you?”.

Rarity stared at him with a slight frown, as if trying to make out if he was joking.

“Surely Twilight filled you in on this?” she asked, tilting her head to the side. “She promised to tell you for me since I could not attend your little welcoming party.” Then, seeing that he still did not appear to know, she added, “I was charged with making you presentable for your rendezvous.”

“Ah.” Pierre rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “Right. Well, see, let’s just say it ended early. I barely got to know I had a date today.”

“Oh my.” She placed her hoof in front of her mouth to hold back a giggle. “Can you imagine not getting to know at all? For your soulmate to show up unannounced while you are not ready. I rightly believe I would die from the shame.”

Wouldn’t that be just the day? he thought bitterly.

Keeping the less pleasant words in, Pierre finally stepped aside and, clumsily, held the door in. His most inviting smile on, he motioned for her to enter. “Well, let’s do this then.”

She thanked him with a melodious voice, then followed him as they headed toward the living room together.

“Hmm… not the color I would have chosen for the decor...” she commented, staring at their bright lime green walls. “Not that I disagree with your tastes, of course, but the color clashes so badly with your coats.”

Her hoof brushed nonchalantly on his shoulder, contrasting the white of her fur with the brownish red shade of his.

While he could see the point, Pierre’s primary concern was more the assorted rolls of fabric she was taking out of her saddlebags. He really hadn’t expected this to happen this morning. Then again, surprises were the norm in Equestria, or so it seemed.

“Right… euh...” He looked aside, trying to keep the sudden unease from his face. “What will we be doing?”

“Oh, I’m here first and foremost to create some dazzling clothes for you, but if we finish early, I believe I could also help with some fur-care products.”

Sheepishly, Pierre attempted to flatten the wild strands of his mane that he had yet to comb. A subtle blush heated up his face, but remained mostly hidden by the fur covering it. “T-that might be a good idea.”

“Excellent. Let’s get to work right away then!” Levitating all the necessary material and neatly aligning it over their table, Rarity gently readjusted his standing position, not unlike that of the mannequins in her boutique. “Here! You’ll need to hold this pose for a little while, dear. But! I guarantee it will be absolutely perfect! ”

“I don’t doubt it,” he replied with a smile, one she echoed before getting to work in an atmosphere not unlike an hairdressing salon.

And, although he wouldn’t admit it, Pierre felt his mind relax by listening to her juiciest gossip. It was such a stupidly mundane thing to speak about, but it was just what he needed to get his mind off much more worrying topics. By comparison, Roseluck’s most recent scandalous behavior really didn’t measure up.

So he left himself get swallowed up in the moment, just chatting away on things he had at most superficial knowledge on, with just his occasional smartass comment to steal a less-than-ladylike snort from Rarity. She glared the two times he managed that little trick. Then pretended it never happened.

With their voices covering it up, neither noticed the shuffling noise from upstairs, nor the following hoofsteps. Not right away.

Finally deciding to grace the home’s other occupants with his presence, Edward entered the living room, a still tired look stretched across his features. Taking a cursory glance at the scene before him, he merely shook his head in bemusement.

“Enjoying the pampering, Frenchie?” Edward yawned, taking pleasure at the rate his friend's face lost its almost relaxed state.

“Choke on your tea,” Pierre growled.

“How could I? I haven't had the chance to make it yet,” the brit scoffed, turning his attention to the kitchen, where he hoped he might do just that.

“How regretful that you did not require my services this morning,” Rarity called while looking longingly at the absolutely splendid silk she had prepared for the occasion. “It would have been a real pleasure to fit you some clothes as well, Edward.”

“Sorry to disappoint, feel free to charge Pierre twice if it helps,” he chimed back from the kitchen, as he watched the tea churn in its pot.

“Charge?” she repeated incredulously. “But I am doing this as a favor to my friend and to you.”

Edward snorted. “If you mean Twilight Sparkle, then please feel free to charge triple.”

Rarity’s needles paused in midair. “Whatever do you mean, mon cher?”

“Oh rien.” Pierre shrugged. “He’s just being his usual self. Don’t worry about it.”

She pursed her lips together, seemingly suspicious of Edward now, but she made no additional inquiry or comment. Instead, she briefly shook her head and went back to her work with Pierre.

In one precise and graceful flick of her horn, she made a long yellow tape unfold to its limit, testing its stretching capabilities with a slightly sinister snap.

“Please straighten up a bit, I need the measure of your torso.”

And already her magic pressed on the parts of him that needed moving. Pierre did not quite feel like a puppet, but he could not help a cold knot tying his guts knowing that magic was being used on him. There was just something… unnerving about it.

The yellow measuring tape circled around his barrel, swiftly running along his fur in varied places, each time only stopping long enough for the fashionista to mutter a number. She seemed very focused, completely ignoring the slightly nervous bicorn she was measuring. However, when the tape rolled off his coat at last, Rarity looked to him with a sly smile. “Appropriate muscles...”

“Ha!" Ed snorted sarcastically, which he quickly followed with a hefty gulp of tea. “Don’t get his hopes up like that, he wouldn't know muscle if it hit him over the head.”

“Don’t listen to him.” Rarity gave Pierre her most winning smile. “I promise you, you will charm her off her hooves! You’ll become a couple in no time!”

He feared that much…

--

Not being content to simply sit around and simply watch Pierre make an ass out of himself, again, Edward walked toward the front door. Just as he was about to open it, he received a rather prompt cough behind him. Turning, he came face to face with a less than amused looking Chainmail.

“Where were you headed?” he asked, eying his charge questionably.

Not wanting to be stopped, Ed did what he did best and improvised. “Oh, you know, I thought I’d give Pierre time to collect himself before his date, maybe get some lunch, check out the shops, the usual.”

Pondering Ed’s response for a moment, the guard gave a brief nod. “Fine, but if you want to go, I’m coming as well.” Turning around to face the other two occupants, he added, “While I’m out, I ask that you stay with miss Rarity, alright, Pierre?”

Receiving a quick gesture of understanding from his second charge, the pair made their way into town.

“So, any particular place in mind, or are we simply going to do a bit of sightseeing?" Chainmail quipped, as the two left the house in the distance.

“Hmmm, I don’t know, I suppose we’ll know when we get there." The nefarious bicorn posed, placating his curious curator. He had no desire to reveal the real reason for taking off so suddenly, especially to the princess’ guard dog...

As the two progressed further into the quiet little town, Ed couldn’t help but grimace at the constant looks he received. After his bout against the princess the night before, he had expected it but it didn’t make it any less annoying. The locals seemed to have a mix of pity and trepidation towards him, more the latter if he had to pick one.

He thought about giving the rude rabble a stern lecture for being so close minded. They chose to judge him without even knowing him and if there was one thing Edward couldn’t stand, it was blind ignorance.

Edward had a mission though, and be it hell or high water he would see it through, so teaching the masses respect would have to wait. He would discover the secret that everyone around him and his friend seemed to be hiding.

Pierre may be willing to play along with Twilight and her secret agenda, but I refuse to be led blindly into destruction. First we arrive in Equestria via a magic greek statue, then we realise we’re a species we’ve never even heard of. Well I’m done, if Pierre wants to play bachelor, I guess it’s up to me to find out the secret behind the Bicorn race, Ed ranted within the confines of his mind, barely taking notice of his surroundings. This unfortunately ended when he had a very intimate meeting with a stone wall.

“Ah, what the bloody hell?” Edward howled as he pulled his face from the wall and rubbed his now bruised muzzle. Within seconds of his curse, Chainmail was beside him looking over his minor injury.

Swatting the fussy guard away and insuring him that he was fine, the bemused brit took a good look at the building that had been his attacker. It was a simple looking shop, with old, time worn stone building its frame and a hand...or hoof painted sign that read; “Olden Time’s Legends and Guides”

Taking the name of the shop in for several seconds, the distraught stallion couldn’t help but grin maliciously. He has just stumbled, if not painfully, into exactly what he was looking for.

Strolling quickly to the shops entrance, he let out a low breath before pushing the door in, which resulted in the sound of a small bell’s chime.“This should be fun.” He smirked, taking in the familiar smell of old ink and worn leather.

--

The edges of his brand new suit bounced on his back with his every step. Though he felt the urge to, he did not attempt to curb them into dominance. They had been left loose for a little bit of ‘style!’, as Rarity had explained earlier. To mess with it would be a crime against fabulosity.

He had to admit to feeling quite fancy with such a nice looking suit, especially when the very vast majority of ponies in town seemed impervious to clothes of any kind. And his suit had rubies on it. Precious gemstones on the collar and as cufflinks. They glittered.

“You will eclipse every stallion in the square, Pierre! Mark my words!”

Those were amongst the few words of hers he did remember, ironically. The uninterrupted flow of cultured and refined declarations could rival Pinkie’s motor mouth, thus was way too much for him to ever memorize in any way. So he wasn’t really trying to. He did feel a little bad about ignoring her well-meaning advices, but he was desperately trying to remember a few more important details.

Her name is Fortune, she has an interest in foreign languages, she is noted as being very kind to her younger siblings...

What the files said about his date.

Right… and she’s a… what’s her job? Was it even written? Takes care of foals in her family, twice laureat in her community for public services…

He came up with a blank. He could not honestly remember what this Fortune’s occupation was supposed to be. Oh well, even if he could not guess from her cutie mark, it would be one point to start the conversation.

“- and I think I see the lucky mare of the day!” Rarity pulled on his neck with a childish glee.

Blinking, suddenly feeling a shiver run down his spine, his gaze followed the direction her hoof pointed.

She was right. There, on the terrasse of the café, just as scheduled, there was a mare that fitted the description. A long flowing auburn mane, stopping just short of her barrel that was a lighter shade of orange. Her eyes were a deep forest green, as he noticed when she briefly turned to send a look to her surroundings. They stopped on him, first flickering imperceptibly to the top of his head, then to the rest of his person before she averted her gaze. Just slightly, she shrunk on herself and blushed.

“This is as far as I go, Pierre,” Rarity said in his ears. “I wish you the best of luck, and remember that her own bodyguard will be nearby in case you need anything at all. Good luck!”

He barely held in a scowl at that, deploying titan-like efforts to keep a pleasant smile on his face and wishing her a nice day. Through some good luck, his benefactor did not notice and she left him alone just at the entrance of the café.

And all this time, Fortune had been stealing quick glances his way, lowering her head each time he looked back, and thus making the twin horns on her head that much more obvious.

Alright, Pierre, be suave and charming, he told himself as he trotted between the tables. You want to hear her side of the story.

“Sooo,” he started with his most sensual voice, “I see the constellations are missing their most beautiful star today.”

Her face turned bright red, skipping past any shade of orange. She opened her mouth to reply, but could only stare with the most timid and intimidated look on her face.

Too strong, Romeo!

“I’m sorry...” he said with a sheepish smile. “This whole thing is really making me nervous. I-I just thought I’d try to, well, you know, start things off with a compliment?”

Oh dear, this was just not going to work as intended. He could already imagine her calling him a pervert and leaving right away. In fact, he did not even know why he had bothered to sit down.

But Fortune surprised him.

“No, no, t-t-that’s alright. It was flattering,” she struggled to say. Her blush was slowly receding, even if other signs of nervousness did not. Amongst other things, her tail had twitched and curled up against her flanks. It made her look adorable, Pierre thought, and it became even more so when she let out a quiet chuckle. “T-to tell the truth, it’s my first time going on a date as well, and with an older stallion too.”

Feeling the awkwardness between them starting to break, Pierre jumped on the offered confession without thinking. “Oh? How old are you?”

He could have facehoofed for that. Smooth.

“My eighteenth day of birth was two moons ago...” she admitted very quietly.

And now she looked as if she wanted to hide under the table.

“Wow, I’m sorry I suck so badly at this.” At least, Edward can’t hear me right now. He’d have a field day with it. “That must be so disappointing to you. Talk about bad first impressions.”

Despite himself, his ears drooped down.

“Don’t say that...” Fortune said gently. “It’s not a terrible first impression. I… I could even say that it’s a little reassuring.”

He blinked slowly, his brain not catching up with the meaning of her words. “Huh?”

“Well...” she tapped on the table nervously. “It’s the first time I even left my village, you know? Everypony is so gentle and kind around here, but it’s still so scary. My mother and aunts kept telling me those scary stories to get me to stay inside the village and I like to pretend they don’t scare me at all, but now that I’m outside…”

With every word said, Fortune’s courage seemed to build up, as was Pierre’s interest. Her voice grew more steady and the tales of her very first travels outside of her village soon delighted them both. Fortune had grown up in a rather sheltered environment, he quickly understood, thus many socially self-evident actions had puzzled her immensely. It was rather amusing, in hindsight, and caused more than one shared giggle in the next few instants. So much that, when the waiter came to took their orders, he had to call for their attention twice.

Blushing, both of them made a quick order for a salad and a drink. All the while holding back more sheepish laughs. Luckily, the stallion did not seem to begrudge them.

Pierre would have honestly been more shocked that way by this point.

“Still,” he remarked in the ensuing silence, “this had to be an interesting experience, to travel around and see new places, no?”

“Of course, it was all incredible to see, but… you see… I could not put our meeting out of my mind. It was always in the back of my mind... When I heard the news that somepony had found a compatible mate for me, I… I felt...” Her breath hitched up, and she paused, seemingly overwhelmed by the news. .

A few seconds of silence passed by, with the mare’s gaze held downward while conflicting emotions bubbled up in her. However, a pleasant warmth seeped over her leg. She found a hoof over hers, and looking up, saw Pierre smiling at her ever so gently.

“Take your time,” he whispered softly. “Or don’t tell me at all, if you feel it’s too hard right now.”

It would seem like she would take him up on that offer, still too reserved about her inner thoughts. At first.

Suddenly, she shook her head and her eyes shone with renewed determination. “I was scared. I had spent so many years being told about this, being taught about it, that it just seemed like this insurmountable trial.”

Pierre could not help but feel sympathy for her. You’re not the only one that is scared over this, Fortune.

“I don’t want to disappoint anypony back home,” Fortune added, her voice shaking slightly. “They were so happy for me. They were telling me I would be able to give all this tenderness inside me to foals of my own. And Aunt Starry Eyes kept telling me I would be glad to have started having them early. Meeting the quotas is hard enough as it is...”

Pierre’s heart felt like it would burst. Quotas? What quotas? It couldn’t possibly be…

But his silence tipped her off, as she flinched under the sudden staring he put her under. “Sorry, I keep babbling. This cannot be very seductive for you.” She grimaced. “...I just don’t know how to do this. Sorry...”

Chastising himself, Pierre forced himself to swallow that heavy lump of fear and push it down. It was not the time to freak out. Certainly not in front of this very nice mare.

“You shouldn’t beat yourself up,” he said with complete sincerity. “You’re here speaking to me now.”

He waited for the tension to leave her shoulders and for her to open up. Then...

“It’s not so bad, is it?” He offered her a smile.

Slowly, the corners of her lips moved upward.

Taking her smile into account, the nerve-wracked Pierre continued with his prompt, if not conversational interrogation.

“Why don’t you tell me more about yourself?” he asked, leaning forward with genuine interest.

Still blushing, she let out a nervous chuckle. “O-oh, alright. Where to start?”

He had an answer to that. Planned one, to be accurate. “Well, where does a pretty mare like you come from?”

The red spread further on her face, but, although she brushed a strand of her mane away nervously, her bashful smile showed that she was not displeased with the compliment. “I’m from the Baltimare Reserve, to the East.”

“I’ve never been there before. What is it like?”

“We’re close to the city, it’s a fifteen minutes trot from the edges of the city to the reserve.” She placed both her hooves on the table at figurative distances, then circled the left with her right one. “So, obviously, the walls are pretty thick and the guards are pretty numerous. Then again, that’s the be expected for the third biggest reserve in Equestria. With so many bicorns in one place, the Princesses did not want to leave it up to luck… despite our innate power.”

He felt like he should have laughed, maybe that she expected it, but he could not bring himself to. Instead, he put on the best charmer act he could and asked, “You like it there?”

“It’s a nice place,” she declared with a fond smile. “I’m glad my parents and my aunts decided to stay there in their youth.”

“So, your entire family lived there then?”

Her ears drooped and she suddenly seemed much more subdued. “It used to. My older brothers all started their own herds outside Baltimare, so I’m the oldest one left and I take care of the younger foals.”

He cringed, acutely aware of the change in her mood. Truly, there was no end to his clumsiness today. “I… I see. Huh, how many siblings are still in Baltimare?”

“Nine.”

He almost spat out his drink.

“N-nine?” he stuttered. “You have nine younger brothers and sisters?”

“Yes. What’s wrong?” She tilted her head to the side, puzzled by his strong reaction.

If she had older siblings on top of it, it meant that she was one of at least twelve kids. He had never heard of a family this big on the show, at least not that closely related. Even the Apples were mostly cousins and a little more removed than that during their reunions. It just sounded incredible to him, yet her honest confusion made him hesitant to answer. “Oh, it’s huh, well… That’s a lot... It sounds like a lot of work...”

“Of course, but they are really the sweetest things you’ll ever see.” Her hooves came together in a most precious gesture. “And with two older brothers, I had some big strong hooves to help me too.”

Two older brothers that could very well be protective of a younger sister dating for the first time.

The urge to look behind him rose within his guts. I really hope those ‘big strong hooves’ won’t try to beat me up once this is over...

And he clearly recalled Twilight saying the punishment wasn’t as severe between bicorns.

“What about you?” Fortune asked, oblivious to the fear that was gripping his guts. “I bet you have plenty of stories about unruly siblings too.”

He forced himself to sound relaxed. “I’m an only child, actually.”

Her eyes widened slightly, much like his reaction to her odd number of siblings. Though, he supposed, perhaps in Equestria, it was much odder to be an only child than be one of a numerous brood.

Soberly, she looked upon him with sympathy. “It sounds quite… lonely.”

They fell silent, considering the other’s life, how their situation must have been, and neither quite achieving it. In the circumstances, they could be forgiven for squirming a little with such awkwardness starting to take hold between them.

Fortune put an end to it.

After but a minute at most, she stood from her seat, and hesitantly, sat down next to Pierre. Then, despite the blush that covered her face, she leaned against his right shoulder.

And Pierre felt a shiver run down his spine. One that made him feel more alert, more sensitive to Fortune in the many ways his new senses could describe her. She smelled very nice, a mixture of flowers and citrus, with just a touch of something undescriptible in any word he could think of. What he knew was that it was incredibly pleasant.

To his surprise, his heart skipped a beat in his chest. Gentle warmth spread from the area she touched, and small tremors fluttered inside his stomach.

W-what was that? I couldn’t have… no way! She’s a mare!

“Pierre?”, her voice startled him.

“O-oh, right, sorry, Fortune.” His voice felt unsteady to his own ears. “I just got lost in my thoughts for a second there. You see… It’s not really like that... I’m...”

Not a real bicorn.

“...A foreigner,” he finished slowly.

“There was something like that on the papers I got,” she mused, one hoof to her chin. “Is that the reason you can speak Prench?”

“Well...” He shook his head, then put a hoof to his chest proudly. “French is my native tongue, rather than the other way around. So I guess it’s true.”

“So you didn’t live in a herd with other bicorns?”

“No, in fact, the first bicorn I ever met is a stiff arrogant limey.”

“Oh… oh! Does that mean the reason you’re still single at your age is…?”

He looked away, accusing the hit to his ego, while his face heated up. “It’s not like I’m... I’d like to think I could have gotten a partner without this...” he muttered.

It seemed to hit her then that what she said could have been interpreted badly.

“I’m sorry. I did not mean... I guess that was a bit presumptuous of me,” she admitted shyly. “Almost every bicorn I know of that are my age have found at least one partner or donated. The ones I know that are yours all expect their second foal very soon.”

His ears twitched at that. All of them? Second foal?!

“No, no, don’t worry, Fortune,” he quickly said while waving a hoof. “It’s normal, I understand. Culture clash and all that. I would not know the first thing to do around foals… And I now realize that’s a terrible thing to say on a date...”

He could not sink low enough into his seat. He just felt so small and petty.

“It’s just… this is really new to me. I did not know this was going to be asked of me.” Some very real fear slipped through. “I’m sort of discovering everything as it happens...”

“Then...” She bit her bottom lip. “Are you saying you’re not ready for this?”

Looking away, he tried to ignore the knot of guilt starting to tie up his throat. He felt sorry for Fortune, remembering her fears of not rising up to the expectations of her family. This was the first date she had gone on. And, unbeknownst to her, it had been doomed to failure from the start.

Now he just wished he had imitated Edward and just refused outright. Why in Celestia’s name had he thought this was a clever way to shed light on the issue? It was just cruel!

“Fortune, I’m so sorry about this...”

“Don’t be,” she said gently, shocking him. “Maybe it is for the best. We are both very inexperienced and not quite ready to fulfill those expectations. Let’s… make this a learning experience.”

“A-alright, maybe not dating right away.” Then, feeling unusually bashful, he added, “I’d… still like to talk with you, though.”