Wings

by earthrise

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Romance, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Rarity, Big Macintosh, Slice of Life
Length: 6117

Rainbow Dash gives Big Mac a helping hoof with his recovery.

Big Mac's injuries are bad news on a farm. Can a nosy Rainbow Dash help him to recover? Will the doctor ever tell Big Mac anything useful? Only time will tell.

Light Mac/Dash shipping with a twist.

Published 2011-11-21 07:26:36 UTC
Last updated 2011-11-21 09:34:06 UTC

Chapter 1

Wings

A My Little Pony fanfiction by Earthrise

AN: Here's an updated version of the first chapter. It'll probably get another update soon. 2-27-13

~~~

“Applejack, ya might be a silly pony sometimes, but ya certainly are blessed.” Big Macintosh mused to himself. He shifted in place, still trying to find a position that brought relief from the pain in his sides as he watched his sister's friends busy themselves with harvesting the orchard. Finally finding a stance that wasn’t bordering on excruciating, he wondered where his sister had gotten to. A quick glance showed the stubborn pony of the week snoozing away beneath a tree.

One of the fillies, Rainbow Dash, was certainly impressive to watch. Despite being a pegasus, she was quite productive, even if she didn't necessarily have the stamina to keep bucking apple trees the whole day.

During one of her breaks, she came over rather uncomfortably close and started examining his bandages.

Feeling his personal space violated, albeit by a very fetching young mare, left Big Mac a little nervous. Especially since it seemed like she was about to prod him right in the side with one of her front hooves.

He cleared his throat, and edged slightly away from her.

“What're you doin', Miss Dash?”

Rainbow Dash ignored him in favor of asking her own question.

“How'd you do this?” She asked, pointing at (but thankfully not prodding) his side.

A slightly sour expression showed itself on the stallion’s face, but was quickly replaced by a polite neutrality.

“Ah think Ah strained some muscles when Ah was doing some applebuckin' last week. Doc wasn’t sure, but he told me to take it easy.”

“Has it gotten any better?”

Big Macintosh grimaced slightly. “Nope. In fact, Ah reckon it's actually got worse. Ah can't stay in bed all day, either 'cause that makes them cramp up somethin' fierce.”

She frowned, her lavender rose eyes looking him up and down.

“Well, I bet I can help you. I've had plenty of experience with injuries.”

Big Mac looked to his sister for help, but she was still dead to the world, snoring lightly in the shade of an apple tree.

“Ah'm okay, really-”

“Cramps kill, big guy. So lie down,” she ordered.

“But-”

“Lie. Down,” Rainbow Dash said as loomed towards him, staring at him straight in the eyes. Her wings flared outwards in a predatory manner, and her ears flattened back against her skull, “Now.”

Big Macintosh flinched and obeyed the mare’s orders. He closed his eyes.

A swift breeze buffeted down on him, and two pairs of hooves slowly rubbed both sides of his torso. The pain in his side began to recede, and he gave an involuntary sigh as all his tension began to melt away.

He heard giggling but didn't care, because by Celestia that filly had magic hooves, and he was pain free for the first time in a week.

~~~

Big Macintosh was now snoring lightly in the late afternoon sunshine, and Rainbow Dash quietly flapped back to her circle of friends who were laughing for some inexplicable reason.

“Why is everypony laughing?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“'Cramps kill', Rainbow? I'm certainly not one to begrudge a lady her excuses, but I’m not even sure where that one came from!” Rainbow Dash bristled at this, but Rarity continued on. “I certainly can't blame you though Rainbow Dash dear. He might not be royalty, but he is certainly one of the most handsome stallions in Ponyville.”

Fluttershy, who had been successfully keeping quiet until then let out a surprising loud laugh. Rainbow Dash whipped around to face her.

“Fluttershy!”

“Oh, I'm so sorry Rainbow, but, um... Well, you see...”

“Spit it out already Fluttershy, jeez!”
“BigMacisn'tapegasusandneitherarethey,” Fluttershy squeaked.

Rainbow paused, her mouth silently repeating Fluttershy’s sentence at a more normal speed. With an almost audible click of comprehension, her eyes widened and a blush blossomed on her face.

“Oh.”

Twilight opened her mouth as if to ask a question, but shut it quickly as the gears in her mind churned ruthlessly, grinding out her sought after answer. Looking around, she noticed that the other non-pegasi still possessed varying degrees of confusion. It was her duty as a friend, she decided, to explain the mistake and maybe perhaps inquire about pegasus culture, just a bit?

“The-”

“So yeah, I guess earth ponies don’t have to worry about muscle cramps interfering with flying huh?” Rainbow Dash interrupted Twilight. It may have been petty stealing the explanation from her, but it still gave her now wounded ego a small boost.

Forgetting that ponies who weren’t pegasi never had to worry about high speed crashes was pretty embarrassing after all.

“If y’all will come back to the house with me we’ve got cider of both persuasions,” Applejack said, and quickly turned to address Rainbow Dash. “Don’t look at me like that Rainbow, we’ve had way too many arguments about it already. Just ‘cause you’re a tee-totaler don’t mean everypony else has to be.”

Rainbow Dash scowled, and ruffled her wings in in an aggravated manner.

“I just remembered- I’ve got places to be and ponies to see.”

“Rainbow Miriam Dash! Get back here!” Applejack yelled ineffectually at ever shrinking rainbow colored dot in the sky. A scowl settled on her freckled face.

“What was that all about?” Twilight asked.

Applejack sighed.

“Rainbow Dash doesn’t approve of alcohol, Twilight. And as Ah’m sure you’ve guessed from my name, makin’ booze is a big part of mah special talent.”

“Umm... From your name?”

“You mean you- well shucks, sugarcube. Applejack is a special kinda hooch made from, well, apples. First ya ferment the cider into hard cider, then ya distill it even further. It’s traditionally been made by freeze distillin’, but Ah’ve always used a still- makes it easier to avoid makin’ flavored methanol.”

Twilight blushed lightly in embarrassment at being caught out for the terrible crime of not knowing a fact.

“Well, I guess I don’t really know much about alcohol, I’ve never tried any alcohol before Applejack. In unicorns, it temporarily disrupts the thaumic circuits and causes passive resonance failure for anything more than the most basic telekinesis.”

“Say what?”

“Booze makes spells go fizzle, silly Applejack!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

Rarity nodded her assent to Pinkie Pie’s explanation.

“Excellent summation, Pinkie. I’ll take some of the ‘hard stuff’ myself as it ‘twere. I haven’t felt myself lately, and perhaps a drop or two might restore my constitution.”

Applejack raised her eyebrows.

“You been feelin’ outa sorts, and still came out here ta help me, Rarity?” Applejack asked with no small amount of surprise.

“You are my friend, Applejack, are you not?” she inquired with a kind smile.

Moisture gathered at the edges of Applejack’s eyes, a bright smile coming to her face.

“That Ah am, sugarcube. That Ah am. Come on inside y’all, an’ don’t worry you worry none about Rainbow. She’ll probably join us in a bit anyway.”

Applejack turned to her brother.

“Big Mac! Wake up you lazy-bones. We’re going inside now.”

Her brother stirred, blearily opening his eyes, blinking them several times before they opened widely in surprise. He slowly arose to all four hooves, looking at his side incredulously. Taking a step forward, he winced slightly. Despite this, a pleased look formed on his face as he followed the mares inside.

The ensuing gathering could have been rather awkward, but with some of the best cider and liquor in Equestria being passed around

Twilight was nursing her second mug of hard cider when she suddenly turned to Pinkie.

“I’ve always heard about ponies spiking the punch at parties. Have you ever done that Pinkie?”

“She did. At my welcome to Ponyville party. I punched her in the face,” said a voice from the doorway.

Rainbow Dash gave a snort and turned to face Pinkie, who winced at the memory.

“She flew about fifty feet. What are you made of anyway, Pinkie Pie? Cotton candy? You weigh less than me. Heck, you weigh less than Fluttershy!”

Twilight watched the exchange, her enlightenment becoming visible on her face.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Pinkie giggled.

“Do you know yerself Pinkie? Maybe you are made of cotton candy.” Big Mac drawled from the corner.

“Oh my goodness ohmygoodness! What if I am! That would be superspecialawesometerrific!”

Pinkie bounced around the room excitedly, then aimed a hungry glare at her tail. In an instant she had seized the poofy pony appendage in her mouth and began chewing vigorously. Her expression changed from excited delight to complete disgust, and spat it out.

“Bleh! It tastes like hair!”

With that exclamation, Pinkie began spazzing about the room and singing, presumably doing some sort of strange “bad taste” musical number.

Don’t judge by the cover of the books

Even if they’re a scrumptious looking pink.

Don’t just a tail by its looks

It might not taste like what you think!

Some things that look good are bad,

And some that look bad are good...

Taking advantage of the pink distraction, Dash made her way over to the stallion’s corner and sat a few feet away from him, grabbing a mug of the non-alcoholic cider. A contented silence fell over the two of them as they watched Pinkie continue her dance.

It was Rainbow Dash who broke the silence between the two first.

“Listen Big Mac, I’m sorry I got kinda pushy with the whole massage thing. It’s kinda embarrassing, but long story short I kinda maybe forgot you weren’t a pegasus.”

Big Mac chuckled and set his cider down.

“Makes sense now. Nice ta know ya ain’t keen on me goin’ splat anyways.”

The mare flashed him an easy grin.

“Hey, you understood it faster than Twilight! I always figured that-” Rainbow Dash paused, an awkward look on her face.

“No problem, Miss Dash,” Big Mac laughed. “Ah ain’t the most talkative pony anyways, an’ it’s easy for folks to misunderstand.”

“Heh, thanks,” she said, gazing into her half empty mug. She looked up again at the still spastic Pinkie. “You think she’s gonna stop that anytime soon?”

“Enope.”
~~~

The next day Big Mac awoke to a loud groan. It took him a few moments to realize that it was his own voice, and the pain which had been mostly absent last night had returned. He rolled over, opening his eyes to see a concerned Apple Bloom looking at him.

“Are you alright big brother?” She asked, her eyes large and watery.

“No, Ah reckon Ah'm not alright little sis,” Big Mac sighed. “Ah'm gonna go back to the doc today.”

He got up and started towards the door, but after only a couple of feet he stumbled. Rather than falling to the floor, he found himself leaning up against a surprisingly sturdy Apple Bloom.

“Let me help you down the stairs Big Mac,” said his little sister.

“Thanks Sugar-cube,” Big Mac replied gratefully. If he was having issues with flat ground, he didn't think much about his ability to deal with stairs. And the potential for worsening his condition even more didn't even bear thinking about.

Big Mac felt a little better after breakfast, but Apple Bloom still insisted on walking with him to the doctor's office.

Along the way, the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders showed up.

“Hey there Apple Bloom, come on, we're gonna try for kayaking cutie-marks today!” Shouted the ever enthusiastic Scootaloo.

“Not right now, Scootaloo, Ah'm with walkin' with mah brother at the moment,” said Apple Bloom.

Big Mac cleared his throat.

“Why don't ya go on, Apple Bloom. Ah'll be just fine on mah own.”

Apple Bloom shot him a look that told him exactly what she thought of that. Big Mac shrugged, but the shifting that occurred in his sides nearly sent him to his knees for a second.

“See, he doesn't mind, back me up here Sweetie Belle!” Cried Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle did not reply- she was staring at a wonky eyed pegasus who was peering out from a bush along the path. As if by some strange hypnotic magic, Sweetie's eyes had begun to spin in lazy circles as well.

“Ah'm taking mah brother to the doctor, and-”

This statement shook Sweetie Belle out of her stupor.

Locking eyes, she and Scootaloo began to shout “CUTIE MARK CRUSADER AMBULANCE-”

“NO!!!!!” Shouted Apple Bloom, at an even louder volume. “Ah need to make sure he gets to the doctor okay, and you have ta admit when we're trying ta get our cutie-marks, stuff gets broke a lot.”

Big Mac was honestly touched. He'd never seen his sister let anything come between her and a Crusader adventure before.

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle looked away somewhat ashamedly.

“Aw, don't be like that! Just come along with us and help me keep him company. Then we can go kayaking.”

Big Mac smiled. It was nice having family that cared about him so much.

The walk went rather quickly, with Apple Bloom and her friends keeping him entertained. Scootaloo kept trying to walk with her rear legs sticking straight up in the air. Her wings and legs flailed about, nearly jabbing him in the eye twice. After that, he moved to the other side of the path.

Quite frankly, whatever she was doing, it looked really weird and Big Macintosh didn't think that equine anatomy was supposed to work that way.

“Hey, Scootaloo. How did ya learn ta do that?” He asked, finally unable to restrain his curiosity any longer.

“Somepony named Lyra taught me,” she replied before falling on her head. “OW!”

Sensing that asking the filly if she was okay would just irritate her, he went with the other question that was bugging him.

“But... Why?” Big Macintosh inquired.

Scootaloo looked uncomfortable. Well, more uncomfortable than her odd position would suggest, anyway.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle sensed their friend's discomfort, and Big Mac saw them attempting a discrete silent inquiry as to whether a distraction was needed. He smiled, happy to see Apple Bloom learning some of the finer arts of tact, something which Applejack had honestly always had issues with.

Despite the silent offer, Scootaloo finally righted herself and began to speak, a faraway look in her eyes.

“Well... I can't really fly yet you see. My wings are a little too small and not quite strong enough. But when I am able to fly, I want to be like Rainbow Dash. You need flexibility in order to pull off the kinds of tricks that she does. And I've never seen anypony more flexible than Lyra.”

Big Mac frowned. The idea of a flightless pegasus troubled him deeply for some reason.

He shook himself out of his introspection, realizing the need for him to say something.

“Good fer you,” he said. “Yer gonna be a great flier, just like Miss Dash when you grow up.”

At that, they all fell into a relative silence that lasted the rest of the way to town.

It didn't take long at all before they reached the clinic. As he walked into the doctor's office, he turned around to wave, but the Crusaders were already kayaking away... down the main street of Ponyville. A steady deluge of water was flowing through the streets from Celestia only knew where.

Apple Bloom waved at him from her kayak, and he waved dumbly back at her. He didn't even want to think about how they had managed that.

Chapter 2

AN:I do not own My Little Pony.

Wings

A MLP:FiM fanfiction

Chapter 2

~~~

Big Macintosh sat in the waiting room, reading the newest literature he could find in the disorganized pile of magazines: an edition of Equestria Daily that was actually older than he was.

Idly he wondered if Applejack's friend Twilight Sparkle would appreciate a tip on where to find some truly ancient literature.

After an interminably long wait, during which he had discovered a rather laughable article decrying Cloudsdayle's rainbow engineers as frauds (“Refracting the sun's rays? How scandalous! They're simply trying to take credit for Celestia's work!”) his name was finally droned out over a the crackly intercom.

“Macintosh Apple, the doctor will see you now.”

Big Mac wandered to the door that separated the waiting room from the rest of the clinic, and was met by Nurse Redheart.

“Hey there Big Mac!” She greeted. “I wish we could meet on more favorable terms once in a while. Follow me please.”

The nurse led him to the examination room, and quickly left, shutting the door behind her. It was lit by glaring lights, and there was a sharp tang of antiseptic in the air. A large poster took up a good portion of one of the walls. Up at the top, in a very large font were the words “RMA Anatomy Series: The Musculoskeletal System,” followed by what the stallion recognized as the insignia of the Royal Medical Academy. Six figures, two each of pegasi, unicorn and earth ponies made up the body of the poster, with three being skeletons and three being muscle diagrams.

Big Mac stared at the pegasus diagrams with fascination, still amazed as he always had been at the major differences between the pegasi and the other two pony races. Having six limbs instead of four meant that they had a second pair of shoulder blades set further back, and the bones of the wing looked for all the world like the claws of some great beast.

Below the figures were three femoral cross sections, showing the differences between the bones of the equine races. The bones of an earth pony, unsurprisingly, were solid through and through, with only small channels for arteries and veins to traverse, with marrow filling the remainder of the space. Unicorn bones, on the other hoof, were something else entirely. These were filled with a complicated arcane mesh, with strange and chaotic fractal like patterns that appeared to stretch into infinity. According to a note on the poster, these patterns varied widely between unicorns and were speculated to have to do with the nature of that particular unicorn's magic.

Unicorns, Big Mac supposed, were magical down to their very bones.

But once again, perhaps because of a certain rainbow colored mare that had barged into his life yesterday without so much as a by your leave, his eyes were drawn to the pegasus diagram.

Like the unicorn femur, there was an intricate lattice making up the internal structure of the bone itself. Unlike the unicorn bones however, the arrangement was an orderly and efficient construction, diamonds and triangles stitched together in a manner that reminded the red pony of the massive steel trusses of the Great Manehatten Bridge he had seen as a foal.

Indeed, now that he thought of it, he remembered his father remarking that the structure of all the great buildings and bridges had been inspired by pegasus bones. It was only fitting, he had said, that the pegasi had motivated the other races to reach upward towards the sky. In his minds eye Big Mac saw himself standing again beneath the great bridge, staring in awe at the massive creation woven by steel, concrete, and magic as his father spoke to him of the wonders that ponykind had made.

Before Big Mac could lose himself in the memories of his parents, the door squealed and screeched, announcing the doctor's entrance.

A lanky stallion wearing a lab coat bustled in holding a clipboard, and peered at Big Mac over the top of rather oversized square glasses.

“Ah yes, Macintosh Apple, hmm. Still having problems, da?”

“Eyup, Doctor Spetsnaz.”

Doctor Spetsnaz scribbled furiously on the clipboard. The pen was a familiar blue, and Big Mac stared at it, entranced.

“Same location of pain, same description?” He asked, pausing his savage assault on the clipboard briefly.

The farm pony shook himself.

“More intense than last time, Doctor. But Ah still hurt in the same spots.”

Spetsnaz spoke again, and resumed the attack on the wooden slab once more. He idly clicked something on the side, and Big Mac realized it was one of those new multicolored pens he had seen a few of the trinket stores carrying. A sky blue coat and rainbow mane flashed in his memory. But wasn't there something else he was going to discuss with the doctor?

“As said before, given location of pain, is not anything with internal organs. Still cannot prescribe pain medication due to allergies. Muscle pain should have cleared by now. Perhaps psychosomatic? Hmm. Am not sure what is wrong, just take it easy, da?”

Big Macintosh didn't even get a chance to reply, as the doctor's pen snapped, causing him to let out a loud curse. He then grabbed another one that had apparently been hidden behind his ear, and signed the paper with a large flourish.

Big Macintosh wondered how many clipboards and pens the former Stalliongrad pony went through each day.

Shaking himself, he finally remembered the question that had been niggling at him.

“Say doc, yesterday Ah got a massage, and it seemed ta help with the pain. Won't do any harm, will it?”

The doctor stared at him like he was stupid.

“Should have mentioned that before. Could have been important. Still, no help with diagnosis. Is simple enough, though. Massage will not do harm. As we say in Stalliongrad, if makes you feel better, then do it, da? Also, use judgment on compression bandage. If it helps, keep it, if not, then toss.” Spetsnaz then gave a rather crazy grin. “Also, massage better from pretty mare, da?”

“Wha-How?” Big Mac spluttered out.

“I am doctor. Doctors always know. No joke though, very simple: you are very, very stubborn pony. Only mare could convince you to have massage, and only pretty one distract from telling doctor important information, da? Now shoo, have other patients to see.”

With that, Big Mac found himself unceremoniously ushered out onto the street.

“Take it easy. Darn doctor don't even know his own job enough to tell me any more than common sense,” Big Mac grumbled to himself as he made his way down the thoroughly muddied street.

Soon enough, he was greeted enthusiastically by three small brown figures, whom he surmised to be the Cutie Mark Crusaders rather than diminutive mud golems bent on destruction. Though as he surveyed the sheets of mud and random gigantic rocks littering the streets, he felt that perhaps that was not quite as incorrect as one would hope it to be.

The three fillies were all chattering at once, and he couldn't understand a word they were saying. After about a minute of ceaseless racket, he cleared his throat and gestured back towards the farm.

“Ah think we should get goin' now. Unless y'all are gonna clean this up?”

With that, the three would be mud golems joined him once more. He honestly had no clue how Ponyville was going to handle the cleanup, but for the moment, he really didn't care.

He sighed. One thing was for sure though. His sides ached just as much as they had this morning.

Chapter 3

AN:I do not own My Little Pony.

Wings

A MLP:FiM fanfiction

Chapter 3

~~~

As the four plodded along, a rainbow blur came zipping up beside them.

“Hey there Big Mac! I heard from Applejack you just had a doctor appointment today. How'd that go?”

“Not real well, Ah guess. Doc didn't know any more than he did before, just told me 'take it easy' is all,” Big Mac said to the pegasus orbiting him.

“That sucks! Well, I've gotta fly, somepony's managed to make a huge mess in Ponyville and they need me to whip up a huge storm to clean it all up! By the way, did you know you're being followed by mud golems? They've been known to cause things like flooding and muddy streets you know. Kinda like what just happened to Ponyville, now that I think of it...”

Rainbow dash leered suspiciously at the three fillies.

The three muddy fillies, who were already being surprisingly quiet, stopped all motion altogether. But not even a thick layer of mud could conceal their guilty aura as they realized that Dash had pegged them as the instigators.

“We're sorry Rainbow Dash, we didn't realize it would be such a problem!” Cried Scootaloo, who appeared to be devastated at the prospect of inconveniencing her idol.

“Ah'm sorry too Rainbow. We just wanted to have a little fun is all.”

“Yeah. But now we're more covered in mud than my sister gets at the spa, and we didn't get our kayaking cutie-marks either.”

Rainbow dash laughed, her crackly tones brightening the atmosphere.

“Chill out squirts! The storm I'm gonna make'll clean it up in ten seconds flat.”

She stopped briefly to consider these words, then amended herself.

“Well, probably a little longer than that, wouldn't want to get rid of Ponyville as well as the mud. Just don't do it again, at least not in town anyway. But before I go,” Rainbow dash grabbed a small cloud, and swiftly dumped its payload of water on the crusaders. “There. And Big Mac, since the Doc can't give you any help, I guess you're stuck with mine! I'll meet you on the farm after I finish the storm.”

Without giving him a chance to protest, Rainbow dash flew off, leaving him and three sparkling crusaders behind.

As he stared after the pegasus with a smile, he realized that he wouldn't have really wanted to protest, anyway.

Sweetie Belle noticed his lingering gaze, and fixed him with a stare. It reminded him of a turn of phrase he had heard applied to himself at times. Still waters ran deep indeed, and Big Mac could literally see the conclusions forming in her mind.

“Awww, how sweet!” She giggled. “Big Mac likes Rainbow Dash!”

Fortunately for Big Mac, they were already out of town and out of Rainbow's earshot when Sweetie Belle made this declaration.

Scootaloo looked at him in horror, and Apple Bloom looked just as gleeful as Sweetie did.

Big Macintosh may have been a still water kind of pony like Sweetie Belle, but years of experience had given him the ability to speak quickly when necessary, and this was one instance where he thanked the Sisters for it.

“Now Miss Belle, it's not good ta go speculatin' like that. Whether or not that's true don't matter, it's just not polite to do so. Hasn't yer sister ever said anythin' like that?”

“Yeah. A couple times.”

“But is it true?” Inquired Apple Bloom, stars in her eyes. Big Macintosh rolled his eyes. So much for her learning tact.

At this point, Scootaloo had progressed to making exaggerated retching noises at the side of the pathway, before she gave a loud scream.

It seemed the bush that Scootaloo had chosen to give her performance at was still inhabited by the wonky-eyed pegasus.

Still inhabited.

Horseapples.

Big Mac wanted to facehoof. It was just one thing after another today, wasn't it? Pressing his memory, he finally put a name to the mare- Ditzy Doo, a mailmare.

He approached the mare with an honest farmer's grin to cover up his nervousness.

“Howdy Miss Doo. Ah take it you overheard that whole thing?”

The mare nodded, eyes whirling in a hypnotic spiral.

“Then can Ah appeal to ya for some, um, discretion?”

The mailmare gave a pretty tinkling laugh, and spoke in a melodious voice.

“A secret would usually cost a kiss from such a handsome stallion as yourself, Mr. Macintosh. I will however make an exception in your case, for you seem to be a true gentlecolt, and I have no wish to add to your mare troubles.”

Big Macintosh blushed at the compliments as the crusaders stared wide-eyed at the fascinating conversation going on before them.

“Thank you very much Miss Doo. But, if ya don't mind mah askin', just what were ya doin' hidin' in the bushes?

“I enjoy hiding in hard to find places, and observing all of the different reactions of the ponies that stumble upon me.”

She leaned in conspiratorially.

“The eyes always get the ponies. It's a hobby, or perhaps habit, that I picked up as a young foal. There is a very long story involved, but I eventually received my cutie-mark as a result.”

“Do you think you could teach us? The eye-thing or hiding?” Blurted Scootaloo, seeing a dual opportunity to irrevocably change the subject from 'mushy stuff' and have a chance at a cutie-mark.

Ditzy laughed again, and the crusaders all looked on hopefully.

“Of course! But some other time, I'm afraid. I'm having tea with my good friend Carrot Top, and I need to stop at sugar-cube corner to pick up some snacks. Go with the Sisters, my friends!”

With that, her eyes swirled around thrice, and she took off, flying in great loops and zig-zags, resembling nothing other than a large grey-blue bumblebee buzzing about in search of flowers.

The crusaders buzzed off towards their clubhouse in a similar imitation the moment they arrived back at Sweet Apple Acres, leaving Big Mac to await his rainbow conundrum.

~~~

Big Mac was sitting on the front porch waiting for less than an hour before Rainbow Dash returned from Ponyville.

“Hey again Big Mac!”

“Hey yourself, Miss Dash.”

“Don't call me Miss Dash, okay? Just call me Rainbow, or Dash.”

“Heh, okay Rainbow. How was the town when you left?”

“Squeaky clean! The mayor came out to thank me herself. Yeah, I'm awesome.”

“Humble, too.”

The two of them glared at each other, before breaking out in laughter. For Big Mac though, it turned out to be somewhat less than pleasant, as the shaking of his frame began to aggravate his sides once more.

He gave an involuntary groan, and Rainbow had flitted over to his side in an instant.

“Not feeling so hot, are you big guy?”

“Enope.”

“Nothing for it then. On the ground with you!”

This time, Big Mac happily complied. Once again, the divine sensations from her hooves released all of his tension, as the breeze rippled and caressed his mane. And once again, he fell asleep.

When he awoke, he found himself in his bedroom, with the sun streaming in the window. A note lay beside him.

You're no fun, you know that? One little massage, and ZONK! Out like a light in ten seconds flat. I resisted the urge to use the markers this time, but I'm giving you fair warning. Also, lose some weight, tubby. Do you know how hard it was to get you to your bedroom? :P

~RD
Big Macintosh smiled.

~~~

Applejack had gotten up bright and early to go to town and sell apples in the marketplace. Ostensibly, at any rate. Her real motive, though became apparent at around lunchtime, when a purple pony began to peruse the stalls for produce.

“Hey there Twilight,” said Applejack. “I've got a favor to ask ya.”

Twilight smiled back at her.

“Fire away, Applejack!” said Twilight.

“Ya know how my brother's been doin' lately. I got to thinkin' couldn't ya find some spell, somethin' to fix his sides, I bet it'd be foal stuff to you with your experience,” said Applejack.

Twilight's smile had frozen on her face.

“I'm sorry, what was that?” Twilight said with a rather strained voice.

“With all yer book smarts, Ah bet ya can do somethin fer mah brother. Heh, and like Ah said, Ah bet fixin' somepony's innards with a spell would be foal's play for somepony who was able ta turn her parents into potted plants for Celestia's sake—what are you looking at me like that for?”

Twilight's frozen smile had melted into an expression of indignant, righteous rage.

She took two steps forward and slapped Applejack across the face. The sound echoed across the town square and everypony turned to watch the spectacle.

“That was an accident! I'll thank you not to imply that again Applejack. I don't care what you've heard. I. Am. Not. A. Biomancer!” Twilight shouted before storming off in the direction of the Ponyville library.

With that, all of the unicorns in the town square started glaring at her, as if she had committed some great sin. The rest of the ponies were split between sharing her confusion and glaring at her as well.

“Well, Horseapples,” swore Applejack.

She stood there, scowling to herself in confusion for a few moments before she heard somepony behind her.

“Have you ponies no shame? This has just been a misunderstanding between two dear friends, so go about your business! Go on!” Rarity said while making a few shooing gestures to go along with her timely lecture.

The crowd shuffled uncomfortably for a moment, before resuming whatever they had been doing before the drama that had unfolded in front of them.

Rarity turned to Applejack, and spoke quietly. “Come over to the boutique, darling, and we'll discuss what happened over tea.”

“But Twilight-”

“No buts, dear. Come along now.”

Rarity started prodding at Applejack with her horn, and the farm pony finally gave in to said irresistible force.

Before long, Applejack found herself sitting in front of a table with a steaming mug of tea in front of her. Any attempt at conversation was quickly tut-tutted and hushed, and in resignation she rested her head glumly on the table.

Rarity finished bringing snacks to the table.

Applejack eyed one of the cucumber sandwiches, and snagged it off the tray with her mouth. Her unicorn host looked slightly perturbed at this, but seemed to push it aside as she sat down at the table herself.

“Now then, Applejack. I do believe you have a few questions?”

Applejack gave her a half-lidded stare.

“Err... Quite. I imagine you are wondering about our friend Twilight's reaction to your inquiry?”

“If'n ya mean why she an' every other unicorn in Ponyville's gone plumb loco, then yes, Ah do believe Ah am wonderin' about that.”

“None of them have gone 'plum loco', as you so quaintly put it Applejack. You must understand, to unicorns, magic is a sacred gift. Abusing it is one of the most terrible things that a unicorn can do. The story really starts long, long ago, during the age of Discord. Discord had entered the world after the Sisters were still weak from the effort of creation, and hunted them and the races they created for sport. Often he took to changing and warping the innermost nature of ponies and creatures alike as he saw fit. It was clear to everypony that such actions were reprehensible. Everypony but one half-mad unicorn.”

Rarity paused here, a far away look in her eyes. Nearly a minute went by before Applejack impatiently cleared her throat.

“Ahem. Ah thought you were gonna explain. Who was that unicorn? What did she have ta do with it?” Applejack asked.

“Everything, my dear Applejack, everything. Just as Discord was able to change the fundamental nature of creatures, that unicorn discovered that she could perform similar spells, twisting and warping creatures as she saw fit. She became ponykind's first Biomancer. She was nigh unstoppable, creating terrible armies of monsters, and was as feared as Discord until the Sisters sealed him away. Just like that, she disappeared as well. Think about it for a moment though, Applejack. A mere mortal was as feared as the very incarnation of chaos. No biomancer has ever since been as powerful, but unicorns are still just as terrified of biomancy now as we were over a thousand years ago. It's why you see so few unicorn healers and doctors-performing any sort of permanent magic on creatures or ponies is considered taboo, if not a sacrilegious desecration.”

“Ah guess that makes a bit of sense. But what was that unicorn called? The one that had all of Equestria so darn terrified?”

“Her name was Morgana L'Fey.”

Applejack was unable to contain her surprise.

“Fey? Ya mean like the holy keepers of the Golden Fields?”

“Exactly that. Though the meaning of Morgana has been lost to time, I'm afraid. Something just as heretical, I'm sure. The Princesses would surely know, but I would never dare ask them. At any rate, she didn't quite disappear as completely as ponies would have hoped.”

With this Rarity looked Applejack in the eye.

“I've never told you my surname, have I?”

Applejack shook her head dumbly.

“Rarity L'Fey, descendant of the Dread Mother of Biomancy, at your service fair Applejack.”

AN: Fanfiction Spotlight: Pinkiemania by Apocalypse Pony