The Diary Of Twilight Sparkle

by Splat

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 38944

Keep out! For Twilight's eyes only! Twilight writes about her adventures with her friends and her true thoughts. But not all of them are positive about her friends or surroundings and she doesn't have the guts to tell them the truth.

This is my diary and is for my eyes only! It contains my thoughts on every adventure I have with my friends, everything that ever happened...

Reminder to yourself: Keep your diary hidden from Spike. We don't want this being posted to that website he found called "Fimfiction.net" a few weeks ago. Imagine how embarrassing it would be if the outside world got hold of this diary! But not only that, some things in here might annoy my friends as not all of the things I've said about them is positive for them to hear. So that's another reason to keep it out of sight!

(This fanfic I've made is mainly for the little comedy stuff I'm attempting to put in each chapter. I hope I'm doing good. So I'm letting the readers decide that one.)

Published 2014-04-10 19:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-04 21:17:54 UTC

Mare In The Moon

Dear diary,

When I first arrived in Ponyville, I didn't have any idea of what I was about to get into. I was given intructions to organise the summer sun celebration by Princess Celestia. I thought it would be a piece of cake, but unfortunately, no, it wasn't.

The first pony I met was called Applejack. She was in charge of food for the celebration. My first impressions were bad, she seemed to have no concept of personal space. Then she said that I was part of her family of thousands of ponies and I didn't even do anything, which leads me to say that she has no concept of time either.

The second pony I met was called Rainbow Dash. She was in charge of clearing the sky above Ponyville while the celebration was taking place. My first impressions for her where worse than Applejacks because she pushed me into a mud puddle and did nothing but laugh! And then she attempted to get all the mud off me by soaking me with water and then drying me, leaving my beautifully styled mane a huge mess and guess what? Laughed again.

The third pony I met was called Rarity. She was in charge of the decorations, and she was the only pony I saw who actually made some progress. My first impressions of her was good... At first. She seemed like a classy pony, but for some reason, I didn't see her as one of the Canterlot snobs, she turned round and saw my mane and the mess it was because of Rainbow Dash. She first started fixing my mane and then started getting obsessed with dressing me for some unknown reason. I guess you could say she was a "fashionist..." Ugh, yet another reason to keep Spike away from this diary, my jokes are just awful... What made the whole situation worse is that ~~Spike had a crush on her! I laughed when we left the building!~~

The forth pony I met was called Fluttershy. She was in charge of the music. My first impressions of her were the least bad of any other pony I met so far. She used her birds to create the music. Me and Spike went up to her and that's when the trouble started. She didn't seem to talk to me but was very shy and seemed to conceal herself a lot. Then as soon as Spike spoke, she lightened up and started to ask annoying questions. I couldn't handle her so I rushed to the library.

The fifth pony that I met was called Pinkie Pie, she broke into my house and threw a party. Yet again, my first impressions were very bad. I swear I think she has some sort of mental illness. She then stayed up all night and waited for the summer sun celebration, it was so loud, I couldn't get to sleep, I started to hate everypony in Ponyville.

The summer sun celebration had arrived and I waited for Princess Celestia to arrive, but she didn't, instead, Nightmare Moon arrived. I knew I was right. She escaped and me and the five ponies who I hated came along to help, we gathered the elements of harmony and defeated her. And soon, to our surprise, Nightmare Moon was actually Princess Celestia's sister. Either that, or the two royal sisters wanted their family tree to be like Star Wars.

After the Nightmare Moon incident, us six ponies became keepers of the elements of harmony. One problem was that I had to leave, right after I accepted the five ponies that I hated into my life and just became friends with. There for, Princess Celestia sent me to live in Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship.

So, at the end of the day I completed all of my tasks set by the Princess. Organise the summer sun celebration. Defeat Nightmare Moon. Rescue the Princess. And make new friends, which I done successfully five times.

Author's Note

One thing I wanted to point out, if anypony didn't get what the crossed out words were meant for, if you read the description, you would have noticed that (if you got the joke) Spike stole the diary. So he's crossing out the embarrassing bits so he doesn't get embarrassed, and he's trying to keep it to Twilight's embarrassment by uploading the diary.

The Ticket Master

Dear diary,

I had yet another trouble with my new friends, I recently received two tickets for the grand galloping Galla one for me and one guest, I got these on the way to Applejack's farm, when she saw the tickets she really wanted to go. Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash came along asking for the ticket, making everything worse. They ended up screaming at each other like immature silly fillies. I had to step in to stop them from arguing since they were about to have a hoof wrestle, who knows what else they would have done to get the ticket, maybe fight with hooves. Spike would've laughed at the pain they caused to each other so that was another reason to stop it.

After that, I was hungry and decided to go get something to eat, that's when I bumped into pinkie pie who started running around for some unknown reason, she saw the tickets and that's when her eyes widened. She wanted to go as well and that made it even more hard to choose. She then started to break into song again, probably the worst song she ever sang so far, dare I say worse than one direction...

Then, even worse things happened, Rarity, ~~Spikes crush,~~ saw us with the tickets. Obviously she wanted them as well. ~~Honestly, I swear that if Rarity said that she would go out on a date with Spike if he gave her those tickets, he would probably give my own tickets away.~~ Anyway, she seemed to only want the tickets for herself, as all she wanted to do was meet Prince Blueblood, she was fantasising about him, which lead me to think that she was watching romantic films to much.

Then, Fluttershy showed up asking to go, so she could see the gardens, yet another pony who wanted to go for her own benefits, but I was thinking about taking her as she was the only pony who wasn't all on my face about it.

Then, Rainbow Dash and Applejack showed up again, following me. Pretty soon after all of my friends had seen the tickets, an argument broke out between all five of them. I told them all to go away and I would sort everything out after I had a meal to cure my hunger.

While I was at the restaurant, they all came back sucking up to me! I decided not to go myself and send the tickets back so it was fair for everypony. Almost immediately, Princess Celestia wrote back and she understood my problem I had, so she sent back seven tickets for the grand galloping Galla, so everypony could go.

Everything was ok from there. But one thing I didn't understand was, why did she only send two tickets, when she knew I had six friends. The same friends that saved Equestria from Nightmare Moon, the least she could do was send them tickets as well. I don't know why she didn't, I think it was because she would have more people eating cake there, so there would be less for herself, she's so god damn greedy, thinking about cake more than the kingdoms saviours! I don't really understand that part and I've given up asking. Now, all I need to worry about is the annoying excitement that all my friends have in them.

Applebuck Season

Dear diary,

Today, I woke up in quite a shock because of a stampede of cows. Everypony started to run around screaming in fear, I guess the citizens of Ponyville are racist to cows or some thing. Applejack was the one who came to save the day, she kicked the cows out of Ponyville. Later on, the mayor of Ponyville decided to reward Applejack for diverting the cows. My first thoughts were, what?! Rewarding her for racism towards cows? I decided to go along with it.

About a few days later, the mayor decided to reward Applejack with a party. I was asked to give a speech that was wrote down on five hundred pieces of paper, which I didn't think was long at all. I was trying to give my not long speech, when Rainbow Dash interrupted me, to talk about her new flying trick. She was starting to come over to me, in my mind, a hot head, show off. I was really annoyed because she did it like the way she did. I swear to Celestia, I was going to transform her into a cow and watch a angry mob rise after her, judging that the town seemed racist against cows to me, I thought it would be fun to teach her a lesson. Suddenly, everypony started to interrupt each other, talking about how awesome Applejack was, which I thought was ok, rather than my speech, since the party was Applejack themed. All of the speeches were over and it was time to reveal the pony of the spotlight. When we pulled the curtains back, Applejack wasn't there, which we all thought was very strange.

About five minutes later, after everypony has stopped wondering what happened to her, Applejack showed up with a barrel of apples on her back. She had huge bags under her eyes and she looked like she had been awake for hours on end. Apples were most of her life and now it had been effecting her sleeping hours. I don't think I had ever heard of an apple addiction. She didn't seem to know where she was, and it got worse, she actually fell asleep on stage and then dragged the trophy that she was given home, recklessly. She obviously wasn't herself.

I decided to go to Sweet Apple Acres to see how Applejack was doing. When I saw her, she first attempted to buck an apple tree, but missed, plus she was wobbling around like a drunk. I called her name but she didn't respond, and then she fell asleep again, which was weird since she was sleeping, while standing up. I woke her up and she surprisingly recognised me. I asked her what she was doing and she said it was something called Applebuck season. She had to buck the entire apple farm by herself, then I realised why she was behaving they way she was. I asked if she wanted my help and she instantly rejected my proposal. She, for some reason, asked if I was challenging her and then she acted very obnoxiously towards me. She then accepted the challenge I didn't even propose for some unknown reason.

I decided to go back to my library and go back tomorrow. I got my book out and sat on my balcony to read it, when suddenly, Rainbow Dash came crash landing towards my balcony. I asked what she was doing and she said that Applejack was helping her with a new flying trick, but she wasn't paying attention and made her crash land. I decided to go see her.

When I got back to Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack could hardly hear me. We ended up having a very short conversation and she left because she said she needed to help Pinkie Pie. I couldn't help but think that it was about to go terribly wrong.

Later on in the day, I was called to the sick bay in Ponyville hospital. I went over as fast as I could, eventually, when I got there, there were ponies vimiting rivers. Pinkie Pie said it had something to do with Applejack, again.

I went back to Sweet Apple Ares once more to see Applejack. She refused my help, she obviously didn't realise the damage she was doing to herself and others.

Later on I heard that Applejack was helping Fluttershy with her bunnies. Fluttershy said that Applejack, apparently done something incredibly stupid. Applejack sent a dog to chase bunnies. I was suprised there wasn't a dead bunny in Winona's mouth. You wouldn't think Applejack would do something that dense.

Another thing happened, another stampede, but this time of bunnies. Everypony hid away from them. Great! So now Ponyville are racist against bunnies. What was stranger was that they were Fluttershy's bunnies. I didn't have to ask anymore, I knew it was Applejacks fault. I decided to go back to Sweet Apple Ares to finally confront her.

I returned to Sweet Apple Acers with huge amounts of anger. I went over to Applejack who looked even worse than she did before. She looked like she had been smoking some... Actually, I won't say. I told her that I would no longer take her refusal and I gathered our friends and helped her if she liked it or not. After we had finnished helping Applejack buck every apple on the farm. She realised the error of her ways and thanked me for my help.

At the end of the day, Applejack learned a very valuable lesson; Don't be an arrogant cow.

Griffon The Brush Off

Dear diary,

I started my day with Pinkie Pie while I read my book. Pinkie Pie was talking none stop about Rainbow Dash, I tried my best to concentrait. Suddenly, Rainbow Dash flew by and Pinkie Pie bounced after her. I saw Rainbow Dash slam herself into a mountain and I couldn't help but laugh in the distance.

The next day I saw Pinkie Pie constantly asking if anypony had seen Rainbow Dash. I pointed up where Rainbow Dash was , for some reason Rainbow Dash flew away to get away from Pinkie Pie. I don't blame her, she is annoying, sometimes. Rainbow Dash ended up flying all around Ponyville, with Pinkie Pie trailing behind her. I don't know how she could move that fast, which made me think that Pinkie Pie doesn't obey the laws of physics. Eventually, Rainbow gave in and ended up doing what Pinkie Pie wanted to do.

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie went to town hall where Spike was collecting letters. ~~He walked out and Rainbow Dash kicked the cloud, creating lightning, and scaring Spike and giving him the hiccups. I would pay to see that, wouldn't be able to stop laughing.~~ That was their first prank of the day and thanks to them, I know what to do if Spike steps out of line. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie found out they had some things in common, being pranksters was one, which meant with their two brilliant pranking minds put together, Ponyville was in danger. We just needed to make sure they didn't get two harmful.

Their second prank of the day was on Rarity, where they hid sneezing powder in a basket and put it in front of the door, rang the bell and hid.

Their third prank of the day was on me. They replaced my ink with invisible ink. Now, I love a good prank now and then but no pony messes with my studies, results, or letters. They're just lucky they ran off before I could catch them.

Their forth prank of the day was on Applejack. Celestia knows how they did it, but they managed to paint every apple to a pattern with paint. It must of took hours to do so I don't know how they pulled it off. Probably some kind of Pinkie science.

Their fifth prank of the day was going to be on Fluttershy, but Pinkie Pie told Rainbow Dash not to prank her because she was too sensitive. So they backed down.

The next day, Pinkie Pie came over to the library to talk about some friend of Rainbow Dash's, a griffin. She started talking about strange behaviour from her. Apparently, she popped her balloons, which, at that moment, wanted to act sarcastically, and tease her about how terrible that was. Then she said something about the griffon named Gilda, trying to separate her and Rainbow Dash. I felt like teasing her again about her and Rainbow Dash having a... Um... Nevermind. But instead of me being evil like that, I just said that she was jealous.

A few hours later, I got an invitation in my mail box. It was a party for Gilda, I decided to go to find out what Gilda was actually like.

When I arrived, I asked around, what did people think of Gilda. I asked Fluttershy, but she didn't seem to respond in a positive way. I turned round and Gilda was at the door. Pinkie Pie greeted her and shuck her claw, but she was in a pranking mood and electrocuted her with an over the top voltage with on of those hoof shock tricks. I was at the party for several hours and soon, I found out that Pinkie Pie had totally booby trapped the party, pranks everywhere. It had more booby traps than the temple of doom. Anyway, Gilda went completely insane and raged like a five year old who didn't get the candy she wanted. She started screaming at Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash stepped in and shut her up. She explained to her that all the pranks she hated was actually planned by her. Gilda left and it looked like their friendship was over. Anyway the rest of us didn't care and decided to go on with the party like nothing happened.

I sent my letter to Princess Celestia. It was about my friendship report as always. I decided to prank her by sending her invisible ink. I was lucky she didn't banish me to the moon after she found out.

Boast Busters

Dear diary,

Today was a quick start to the day, I woke up with Spike passing a letter over from Princess Celestia saying that she want's me to study a new spell. Me and Spike got onto it straight away. As Spike as my test subject, I lit my horn up with magic and continued with the spell. I had finished the spell and stopped straining, and to my surprise, Spike had a brand new set of hair above his lips. I was surprised I got it first time. In a flash, Spike ran over to the mirror and started looking at him self. [s[He accidentally said out loud "Hello Rarity!" He isn't keeping his secret crush very secret. But every time he fails to keep it one, I get the urge to tell everypony.

A few hours later, me and Spike went walking around town about magic, when suddenly, Snips and Snails come running through town with huge amounts of excitement about a new unicorn in town who was apparently better than me, but I doubted it. I could grow hair in ponies heads, faces, tails and... Other parts. But what could she do? Anyway, me and Spike went along with Snips and Snails to find out who this unicorn was.

When we got their, I found out that all of my friends had made it. A voice came from behind the curtain that was on the stage that was also on wheels, obviously a travelling coach. The curtain lifted and showed a blue pony with a starry hat and a cape. I guess her name was Trixie, since that's all that was coming out of her mouth. The great and powerful Trixie... Apparently. She got onto her magic tricks and spawned a bunch of flowers. All of my friends were talking about that just because someone had magic, doesn't mean they were better than everyone else, no matter how much hair they could grow.

Unfortunately, Trixie over heard us and said that no magic was more powerful than hers. I was going to tease her and challenge her to do Princess Celestia's job and move the sun, but I decided not to because it would cause more trouble. But Spike spoke out, which you could already tell something was going to go wrong, mainly because it was him who opened his mouth. He said that she should challenge me and see how powerful she is then. I took him out of the wave of ponies watching to tell him not to point me out like he did.

Back on stage I saw Rainbow Dash asking how she was so powerful, which was on everypony's mind. Apparently, she could defeat an Ursa Major. I had only read about them but had never seen one. It was either true or she was just showing off again. She yet again, said that it's the reason that she is the best unicorn in Ponyville. I wasn't surprised when nopony cheered when she said it. She then challenged the entire town that, what ever we could do, she could do better. Nopony went up. She then went around the ponies watching, picking some challenges, and unfortunately, she choose me. I backed out, which I thought was cowardly of me.

Applejack butted in because she had enough, she challenged Trixie. She pulled out a rope and started doing those rope tricks, I don't know what they're called. But she was really good. I think it's called a lasso. Ponies cheered for Applejack because she had talent. Trixie picked up a rope and hypnotised Applejack. She got an apple and lassoed Applejack with the rope and gagged Applejack with the apple. I thought it was a bit far. I also thought that something... arousing was going to happen, but no. Sadly, Applejack had been defeated by Trixie.

Next up was Rainbow Dash, who done her flying tricks. At the end she done a little showing off, but not as much as Trixie. Trixie got a rainbow and turned it into a tornado and span her out of control. So, Trixie won again.

Rarity was up next. She made a dress with her beautiful talents and materials. Trixie came back with turning Rarity's mane green. It was simple, but still made Rarity freak out easily.

I was up next, my friends begged me to go on stage and show her who was really the best unicorn in Ponyville, but I chickened out again. I ran back home and Trixie's so called show was over. I decided to go back home with Spike and forget about the whole thing. A few hours later, me and Spike had the same conversation about how I didn't want to go up to Trixie and teach her who's boss, because I would lose my friends for being a show off.

A few hours later, I have Spike running trough my door, saying that there is an Ursa Major running through town. I decided to take a look. At first, I thought that Spike was lying to get me out of the house, but no, there was in fact an Ursa Minor. I asked Snips and Snails what was going on. They said they had brought an ersa minor into town. The stupidity of those two is unbearable sometimes. But they said it was ok because Trixie was going to stop it. I was more interested in Trixie than I was in the ersa minor. I was looking forward to see what she could do. Finally, Trixie told the truth and said that she couldn't do it. I wasn't surprised.

I soon figured that it was up to me to stop it. I started using the wind to create music to put the ersa minor to sleep. I used the water tanks to fill up with milk and give to the ersa minor to drink while sleeping. I then used my magic to move it back into the everfree forest. And that was it. I was surprised it was that easy.

It turns out that my friends didn't hate me and what I did wasn't showing off. It turns out that I saved the town and my friends are proud of me and Trixie is just a loud mouth. So everything went ok in the end. I saved the town. I deserve the key to the town. But no. I go back to my house and read daring do for the forty seventh time.

Author's Note

Remember. This was supposed to be a fanfic with short chapters...

Dragonshy

Dear diary,

I woke up today in a rush as Spike kept poking me repeatedly with a letter from Princess Celestia. The letter was about a giant smoke cloud coming from a dragon who was snoring. I thought it must have been a joke, because if it was true, all of the fire fighter team would have their hoses pointed at Spike when he slept, so I thought it was a joke. I looked outside and it turned out it wasn't a joke, there actually was a giant black could. In the letter I was told to go and warn everypony about the danger. Honestly, I didn't want to, it would sound pretty stupid and nopony would believe me unless they had common sense and looked up. I walked to the centre of town to warn everypony. This could go well, and everypony would know, or bad, and everypony think I'm stupid.

I arrived at the centre of town and told everypony to shut up. Easiest way. I told them of the black cloud coming to Ponyville and that it was coming from a dragon. And to my surprise, everypony believed me and looked up.

I decided to go back home with my friends to back up and go after the dragon and try to make it move. My friends weren't much use, they were just wondering what a dragon was doing in Equestria. I told them that it's sleeping is what's causing the smoke. The next thing I knew was they wanted to come along to help. I told them to hurry up, get supplies and meet me back at my library in an hour. I don't think they knew what I meant by hurry. The longer I stayed, the longer Equestria would be under smoky dragon breath.

About an hour an a half later, me and my friends made it to the bottom of the mountain, ready to climb to the top. We got higher, and for some reason, all of my friends thought that this dragon was a laughing matter. It wasn't. Their moods would be different if that dragon destroyed their homes. I didn't think they knew the mood of the scene. I noticed that one of my friends was missing, Fluttershy. She was afraid of the dragon. Applejack had to drag her around the mountain while we waited for her to get there. We were waiting forever! Longer than internet explorer to go onto Wikipedia. It turns out Applejack had to literally drag her around the mountain, because Fluttershy refused to move.

Later on, we faced another obstacle. A small crack in the path that was miles deep. We all hoped over because it was only a hoof length wide. But Fluttershy didn't hop over. Apparently to her, this was the grand canyon. So at the end of all the commotion, we decided to carry her across. A lot of us were starting to get annoyed with how she was, because she could of just walked over that hole.

Our next obstacle was an avalanche, or a potential one, if everypony was quite. I thought this would be fine because Fluttershy was very quite. But, unfortunately, no. A leaf fell on Fluttershy and she freaked out and caused an avalanche and almost killing us all. I had to play it cool and decided to say it was alright, but in my head I was screaming at her. Physically hurting her for almost getting us killed. But I had to keep my rage inside me.

We finally made it to the top and I came up with a plan to make sure he would sleep somewhere else. I entered the cave with Fluttershy, or so I thought. I had to go back out to get her. We tried to convince her to come in the cave but she couldn't because she was scared of dragons. I had no choice I went into the cave on my own. It turns out my way of getting to move didn't work.

Next to go in was Rarity. She tried to flatter him to move, which by the looks of things, was working. But she messed it up by being greedy and attempting to steal his gems.

Next to go in was Pinkie Pie. She tried to throw a party or something, which is not surprising, because that's what Pinkie Pie would do. What also wasn't very surprising is that her idea was rejected almost instantly.

Next up was Rainbow Dash, who had enough of waiting and decided to rush in and kick the dragon, which made him react in a bad way. It caused the dragon to come after Rainbow Dash. The dragon became really angry and attacked all of us. Yet another time Rainbow Dash has rushed and tried to impress us and instead almost getting us killed. Fluttershy saw and got really angry too. She confronted the dragon and told him to stop and convinced the dragon to leave.

At the end of the day, it was Fluttershy who saved us all and Equestria from a blanket of smoke. We were all very proud of her. But one thing didn't make sense to me. She is terrified of almost all vicious creatures, but then she can control them and make them her friend. Because of this I have made a conclusion: Fluttershy uses hacks to control vicious creatures.

Look Before You Sleep

Dear diary,

I planned my day out carefully. I decided to use my time to study all day because I saw no point in going out today, because the weather team missed one of their storms, they scedualed one for the afternoon. The day was going swimmingly before I was interrupted when the storm started. Not by the storm, but Rarity and Applejack arguing outside. I overheard part of the conversation. It was somewhere along the lines of getting a job done and not getting Rarity's hoofs wet. I decided to invite them in before they got hypothermia.

Once inside, I started to talk to Rarity. I told her that Spike was away on royal business. Which I thought was lucky, because I wouldn't need to worry about Spike flirting with Rarity. While I was talking, a thousand things were racing through my mind, then it hit me! I decided to have a sleepover. I was so thrilled that it crossed my mind, I had always wanted to have one, and I thought it would be a good way to bond with two of my newly made friends. At first, Rarity said no to me offer. I heard her mumble under her breath somewhere along the lines of that she couldn't possibly stay here all night with Applejack. I didn't like what Rarity said. Applejack was an earth pony who takes care of the apple supply in Ponyville. Since everypony in Ponyville eats apples daily, and that they're a huge part if the diet of many ponies here, I thought Applejack would be very important here for what she does. Ponies here wouldn't be as healthy as they are if it wasn't for her, ungrateful lady muck. I grabbed a book from my shelf about sleepovers and tried to persuade her to change her mind. Luckily, she said yes and my dreams of having a sleepover were not crushed.

About half an hour later, after Applejack had finished cleaning the mud off her hoofs, she walked in complaining about how I and Rarity where aloud to have mud on our faces, but how she wasn't aloud to have mud on her hoofs. I explained to her that what me and Rarity were doing was part of a makeover. I didn't blame her for being confused, it's not something Applejack would want to do. I showed Applejack the book about sleepovers and offered her to stay as well. She reacted the same way as Rarity did. She didn't want to at first. She decided to go straight home. Unlucky for her, there was a storm outside and she decided to stay. I got really excited at that point, my dreams of having a sleepover were not crushed after all. I wanted to do it exactly by the book and finish the makeovers first.

Next, was ghost stories. Applejack decided to tell the first story. Instead of telling a real ghost story, Applejack decided to tease Rarity with a ghost story. Apparently it was a story about Rarity's unnecessary neatness. At first, I was laughing in my head because I couldn't laugh out loud because that would be rude. But I also didn't like what she said, because they had just stopped bickering until Applejack started again. They had stopped bickering for a grand total of six minutes. A new record. Rarity came back and told her story, the story about the pony with an irritating habit for messiness. I was started to get annoyed with them. I stepped in and told the tale of the headless horse. After I had finished telling the stories, I looked over at Rarity and Applejack and it seemed that my story left them shaking in fear. It was obviously better than Rarity's story about the pony with the irritating habit for messiness. I took ghost stories off the list.

The next thing on the list was making treats! My favourite part, Rarity carefully made one and then Applejack decided to tease Rarity by eating her one. Again, that made me laugh in my head. I found it funny the way Applejack kept teasing Rarity the way she did. I took making treats off the list.

The next thing on the list was truth or dare. The game started and Rarity and Applejack started bickering again. I started to realise that the teasing I thought was funny, started to look like a huge argument. First, Applejack dared Rarity to go get her mane wet out in the storm. She came back in the library soaking wet with a ruined mane. Then, Rarity dared Applejack to dress in a fancy outfit. Applejack came back looking hilarious, but I couldn't help seeing a huge argument going on, I started to realise that it was ruining my sleepover. I decided to just skip truth or dare.

The next thing was a pillow fight, and because of what was going on between Rarity and Applejack, I didn't think this was going to end well. I thought it would be fun, until I was hit by one. The force they were being thrown at was powerful. Pretty soon this was a full on battle between the two with pillows as weapons. All three of us could have been seriously injured. I decided to call it a night, the easiest thing to do.

I went to sleep, and so did they, or so I thought. They started bickering in bed as well. It was annoying and I was really sick of it. It was then I finally snapped. Enraged, I showed them the rules. The rule about fun. Which had been broken a thousand times. Fun was the last thing to check off the list, and thanks to them, I couldn't take it off the list. They had ruined my first sleepover. I didn't think anything more could go wrong. Next thing I knew I had a tree in my bedroom. Despite everything that was going on. All rarity was doing was cleaning up the shelves near the window, ignoring the giant tree. I looked over and Rarity and Applejack were talking, they made up. Finally! About five minutes later, I looked up and noticed the tree had gone. I didn't realise because I was to busy looking through the book for a section about giant trees. I was really proud of them for making up and that I finally had a chance to bond with them. Also, because they made up and got rid of the tree, they solved the problem in a positive way, and for that, I feel like I don't need to sue Applejack for almost killing me.

I thought my first sleepover was a success and I wanted to do it again. It was fun not having Spike around and having time to just newer friends. I feel like I know them more now. Whiny and annoying. But I still live them as my friends.

Bridle Gossip

Dear diary,

I got up very early today for a morning walk. It was a beautiful day, better than the storm we had a few days ago. There was no clouds in the sky. Spike said it could have been because Rainbow Dash got up early to clear the sky. That lead me to think that Spike hadn't been observing Rainbow's personality. I can't believe that he thought that the lazy, rainbow coloured pony would do something as fast as she could. Like Rainbow Dash cared about the sky. She just wants a few bits for tonnes of litres of cider. I'm surprised she even puts effort into her job at all. I walked into the centre of Ponyville to find that the place was completely deserted. Spike thought it was zombie ponies. He had been going on about zombie ponies ever since he saw that performance at Ponyville school. ~~The only reason he went was because Rarity was going, and because of that, he's been scared since.~~ I looked around and the only movement I saw was Pinkie Pie, waving us over to Sugar Cube Corner.

Once inside, we found out that something could of gotten us, according to Pinkie Pie anyway. Spike thought it was zombie ponies, he obviously wasn't getting it into his mind that they didn't exist. But it got weirder. Pinkie Pie believed him. I couldn't believe the stupidity. But it was Pinkie Pie, and I had to remember to go along with it. I proceeded to ask her why she was alone in the dark. She said she wasn't. It turns out, through out the entire conversation, the other four of my friends had been looking over my shoulder like creeps. But the question still stood. I asked them what they were all doing in the dark. They pointed out that they were hiding from a figure outside. A hooded, four legged figure with glowing yellow eyes. Even I started to think it was a zombie pony, but I didn't want to armpit it to Spike. The figure looked over at us, all of my friends hid behind the walls of the building. Apple Bloom asked me if I saw her. She said her name was Zecora. Applejack told Apple Bloom of for saying the name. It seemed Zecora's name was treated like the fictional character, Voldemort. Things were getting stranger and stranger, and we're going to get even stranger. Applejack said that she was protecting Apple Bloom from her, but I didn't understand why. Maybe she was a sick minded pony who liked fillies in "that way". My friends said she was evil and spooky, they described her as a gothic pony. But because I was probably the only pony with common sense in the room, I knew it wasn't for that reason. We looked out of the window again, Zecora was digging the ground for some unknown reason. Zecora put her hood down and everypony gasped... Again... Rarity pointed out that her stripes were horrible. Only she would hate somepony for their appearance. It was obvious to me that none of my friends had heard of Zecora's species. I explained to them that Zecora was a zebra. A pony like species that come from a far away land. I also explained to Rarity that the stripes Zecora had were not a fashion choice, but what she was born with. She fainted. I wanted to slap her for being so rude. Applejack explained to me that she lived in the everfree forest. We all know what it's like in there. I guess that none of my friends knew that not everything in the everfree forest was evil. Well... Some things weren't evil. Pinkie Pie said she wrote a song about her. If it's one thing I hate about Pinkie Pie, it's her bad songs. I asked them why they thought she was evil. My friends said she comes into Ponyville once a month and lurks around and starts digging the ground. Not very scary. Apple Bloom spoke up and said that she might just wanted to me neighbourly. Finally, a pony with some common sense. A small filly was making more sense than a bunch of adult ponies. Applejack told her off and told her to let the "big ponies" talk. Apple Bloom walked off while we all discussed Zecora's actions. After the discussion, we soon noticed that Apple Bloom had gone. The debate finally stopped and we went to find Apple Bloom. I couldn't believe it, we were doing something that made sense today. My friends are stupid sometimes. I didn't see why Zecora was evil. I'm my mind, it felt like another racism thing. First the cows and now the zebras.

We left Sugar Cube Corner and ran in the direction that we thought she went. We guessed the everfree forest, since she wanted to prove that she was a "big pony" and that she wanted to prove that Zecora wasn't evil. We went after her straight away.

We reached the edge of the everfree forest and saw Apple Bloom in the distance with Zecora not so far ahead. Applejack told her to get back. Zecora turned round and told us something about the flowers we were standing in, telling us to beware. Even though I hadn't met Zecora and had notepad to trust her, I was sure that had to mean something. I didn't really understand what she was saying because it was all in rhyme. Must be a zebra thing. But still, I found the way she spoke weird and entertaining. Everypony still thought that Zecora was evil and started to say that she could of put a curse on Apple Bloom. I tired to explain that curses weren't real, but Rainbow Dash wasn't taking anything I was saying into her mind. Celestia, she was ignorant sometimes.

Later that night I had dreams about what my friends said about Zecora, it irritated me, but I got through the night with no harm. I knew these things that were being rumoured around my group of friends wasn't true. Until I woke up in the morning...

In the morning I woke up with a mane as messy as Pinkie Pie's. I started to joke about it and laughed about how Zecora could of cursed my mane. In other words I had bed hair. The worst thing in the morning. I fixed my mane and my horn was visible once again. Then I realised it... For some reason it has blue spots all over it and was as flexible as Pinkie Pie's neck. Of corse, I panicked. I ran down to my library to find a cure. I checked ever book I had, but I couldn't find a cure. Spike suggested a curse. ~~Ugh! He was so gullible. Zombie ponies and now curses. I really need to teach him to not believe everything he hears.~~ He handed me a book about curses. I refused it and told him that the book is just a load of lies. I turned round and saw Pinkie Pie with a scowled tongue with the same spots on it. She also was spitting a lot, giving Spike a shower. ~~He was drenched after Pinkie Pie tried to speak. It was hilarious.~~ Then, Rainbow Dash (Crash) smashed through my wall, literally, and landed on a pile of books. She also believed it was a curse. But what I don't understand is, if you believe that you have something wrong with your wings , why don't you just not fly? It would make more sense. Then Rarity walked in with a really, and I really messy mane and fur coat. But it serves her right for what she said about Zecora's stripes. Then Applejack managed to get in without anypony knowing. Mainly because this "curse" had made her as small as a mouse. Compared to Apple Bloom, Apple Bloom was the big pony now. But everypony seemed fine accept Fluttershy. We thought she was fine, until she spoke. I don't know how, I thought it was impossible, but this "curse" had given Fluttershy a voice that was deeper and more satisfying than Morgan Freeman's. And it just got more embarrassing when Spike started to make fun of us and given us new names related to our symptoms. ~~I swear, when he started to tease us, I felt like using my magic to turn him back into and egg that couldn't be escaped, so he would be trapped for ever in his own egg.~~ After the ridiculous insults, we noticed that Applejack and Apple Bloom had gone. We started checking if anypony had stepped on her or sat on her. At the corner of my eye, I saw Spike giggle again after I said that somepony might of sat on her. We decided to go find them.

We went to the everfree forest, because that's where Apple Bloom went last time. We reached Zecora's house and somehow lost Rainbow Dash on the way. We looked in the window as Zecora just entered the room, she was making some kind of soup or a potion of some kind. But our surroundings started to say things about her and I started to think she really was bad. We overheard her say something about her soup and Apple Bloom. I really did think she was making an Apple Bloom soup. It was true, she was bad. We screamed and panicked. Then out of nowhere, Rainbow Dash and Applejack came flying towards us from the sky. They landed inside Zecora's house and destroyed the place, including the soup. That meant Apple Bloom wouldn't be cooked. We faced Zecora and all of the odds were against her. We accused her of doing these things to us. Then she explained everything when Apple Bloom walked in. The reason that these things happened to us was because of the blue flowers we stepped in. We found out that they were called Poison Joke, and they make you look or sound ridiculous from what you wouldn't like that the plants would find funny. And that the brew she was making was actually a cure for us. I then found out that there was a cure for Poison Joke. It was in a book that Spike handed to me that I refused to look at. Maybe I should listen to him once in a while. I felt so stupid and also feel so bad.

Zecora took us all to Ponyville spa where we got cured and lucky for Zecora, the spa ponies wanted the brew because it could be used as a relaxing thing. Pretty soon we were back to our normal selves. There was a few things that I didn't get to see, which was a shame but I couldn't. First thing, I wanted Fluttershy's new voice to stay because it was so... Cool. The second thing was that I didn't want Pinkie Pie to be cured because it would stop her from singing. Peace at last. But it had to be cured. And the third and final thing I wanted to see was Applejack, being sat on. I would find that extremely funny. But not only that, but I have decided to start an Anti Racism group. To stop all racism of all creatures of Equestria. It's called the E.A.R.G. It stands for The Equestrian Anti Racism Group.

Afterword.

It's been one week later and no pony has signed up for the E.A.R.G. Maybe I am taking this to my head. Just because Ponyville thinks that something is creepy or scary, doesn't mean they're racist towards them. Therefor, I have decided to retire the E.A.R.G.

Swarm Of The Century

Dear diary.

I woke up today in a hurry. The reason was that there was going to be an unofficial visit from Princess Celestia and I wanted the entire town to be spotless and to have something to greet her with. I rushed Spike to clean up the entire library, there was no time for fun and games, I wanted to please Princess Celestia and everything needed to be perfect. I left Spike to clean the rest of the library up while I inspected the rest of the town.

I walked outside and everything was going very well. Everypony was doing their part to make the town look beautiful. I went to look at the banner that was made by Carrot Top. She didn't do it right because she left half of Princess Celestia's name off because she "couldn't fit it all in". It said Princess ~~Molest~~ Celest. What can I say? She's not the brightest carrot in the basket! Oh, haha... Really bad puns. I disappoint my self sometimes. I told her to do it again. By the looks of things, it looked like most ponies were taking this seriously.

Next, I decided to go to Sugar Cube Corner to see how the cakes were getting on. I entered and asked how it was going. They replied saying that it wasn't very good because Pinkie Pie kept eating the cakes. Apparently, Pinkie Pie were testing if the cakes were not poisoned. Average Pinkie Pie really, any excuse to eat sugary teats. I'm surprised that she isn't the size of an elephant, the amount of cake she eats is unbelievably high. Strange how she hasn't got diabetes type two yet. Later, Fluttershy entered, saying that she found a creature at the edge of the everfree forest. I thought they were cute, beautiful and amazing. While Pinkie Pie identified them, she called them Parasprites and she didn't like them from her reaction for some reason. I didn't know why, but after she saw them, she said she needed a bunch of musical instruments.

After that weird thing with Pinkie Pie, I decided to go to Rarity's house where I met Rainbow Dash, getting dressed up to look nice for Princess "Celest's" visit. Rainbow Dash didn't look like she appreciated what Rarity was putting on her and she didn't like the look. It actually looked like Rainbow Dash was going to punch Rarity in the face because of the mood she was in with her. Not everypony appreciates cloths the way Rarity does. But I for one thought they were spectacular. I showed them the Parasprites. They seemed to have multiplied again. I only had one but now I had three for some reason. Pinkie Pie walked in asking for another musical instrument. I wasn't really paying attention, she was just being random and I was to sucks a in by the cuteness of the Parasprites to care.

When I got back to the library, the place was spotless and Spike done a really good job. He was already asleep and I was ready for bed, thinking that because everything was perfect in Ponyville for Princess Celestia's visit, I wouldn't have to worry about much anymore. Or so I thought...

I woke up the next morning, not so peacefully. To my suprise, I woke up with hundreds of Parasprites around the library. They started to swarm the same time me and Spike started to panic. They started to mess up Spikes hard work of cleaning the library by messing it up. Throwing books around and letters from the Princess. This was turning into an emergency fast. The Princess would be here in a few hours. I was determined to sort out this problem and find a solution.

I gathered all of the Parasprites up and decided to go to Fluttershy's house to see if she could help solve the problem. On the way, I met Rarity who had the same problem and the same idea. When we reached Fluttershy's cottage, we realised that she had the same problem, but a bigger one since she had way more flying about. When we entered, the Parasprites were much worse than ours, they were throwing her possessions around the cottage like a tennis ball and Fluutershy had no control over it and we didn't know what to do. Then, Applejack showed up with a cart full of apples. I don't know how she didn't know what was going on. How did she not get news of what was going on? Maybe if apples didn't control most of her life, she may have been a bit more social and noticed our troubles by now. She had brought a cart full of apples that were meant for Flutterhsy, but the Parasprites eat them in seconds. They had the table manners of Rainbow Dash! Applejack came up with an idea to gather them all up. We got them into a ball and lead them out of Ponyville. Pinkie Pie showed up again asking for more musical istruments. I knew she was up to something but I decided not to get involved just yet.

After the job was done, we went back to Fluttershy's house and opened the door. To our suprise, a storm of Parasprites came out from the door way. It turns out she wanted to keep just one. I couldn't believe she done that! She knew what was going to happen and still wanted to keep one?! Great, just great! To be fair, this is the first time she wronged us so I wasn't that mad at her since she was just being herself and taking care of creatures. But in this situation, she seemed like the quiet, stupid mare at the back of the class who eats glue and glitter. I didn't know what to do, but unfortunately, Rainbow Dash got involved, which is normally bad, and suggested the weather team. She created a tornado around the Parasprites. It was going well, until she lost control and ended up spilling the Parasprites all over Ponyville. Yet another stupid mare who eats glue and glitter.

We reached Ponyville to see that the Parasprites were eating all of Ponyvilles food supply. I decided to cast a spell to make them stop eating all of the food, which sort of worked. They did stop eating all of the food, but then started eating the buildings.

I ran back to the library to find spike being tortured by the Paraspites, I also noticed that the Parasprites were not eating my things, but eating the words from the books. I don't know how they did that.

I decided to run to Zecora's house with one of the Parasprites, I wanted to know if she knew anything about them. I asked her if she could help us. She said it straight up what I needed to know, but what I didn't want to hear. We were doomed.

I ran back to Ponyville and realised that there was no way out of this situation. Now this part I don't know much of because I went insane, according to my friends who were observing. Apparently, according to my friends, I went insane and told everyone to build a replica of Ponyville before Princess Celestia got here, we had under a minute. I would actually really want footage of me going insane, I think it would be funny to watch. Just then, music came from the background and I thought it was Princess Celestia coming. But no, it wasn't, it was Pinkie Pie playing music to get the Parasprites attention. They responded good with music. Pinkie Pie saves the day and lead them into the everfree forest, they were Zecora's problem now. Princess Celestia arrived saying that she was glad that we put a parade up for her visit. We didn't, that was Pinkie Pie leading the Paraspites out of Ponyville, but I decided to go with it. But unfortunately, she couldn't stay for her unofficial visit, because there was news that there was a swarm of creatures in Fillydelphea. So she had to leave, but the good news is that she wouldn't find out about what happened in Ponyville and that we could rebuild the town without finding out. Pinkie Pie had finnished getting rid of the Paraspites and the town was finally safe.

What I learned about friendship that day was: Trust Pinkie Pie, she may seem crazy but she knows what she's doing.

Call Of The Cutie

Dear diary,

Surprisingly, it was a very relaxing day. There was nothing threatening me or Ponyville. I guess there is something called a "normal day" in Ponyville. Anyway, I didn't do much today because it was so quite. But I'm not a hermit, I like to go our everyday. I decided to go to Sugar Cube Corner to eat some cupcakes and talk to Pinkie Pie, as long as she doesn't sing.

I reached Sugar Cube Corner, but when I got there, there was black smoke coming from the building and it seemed to be on fire. I entered the building, which is something you should never do when a building has a possibility of burning down, and check what was going on. I found out that Apple Bloom was trying to get her cutie mark and Pinkie Pie was helping. She wanted a cutie mark in cupcakes. But judging by the results of what horrifying cake she made, it was obvious that it wouldn't be in cupcakes. They where blackish brown coloured and looked like it came from Spike's rump. Apple Bloom explained what she was trying to do, I just couldn't understand her because she was talking as fast as Rainbow Dash flies. She then asked me to use my magic to make her get a cutie mark. I said no and explained that it had to take time, but she still nagged and begged me to do it. I can tell she's going to be a spoiled filly when she grows up... Applejack needs to discipline her. I started up my horn and cast the spell. A cutie mark appeared but soon faded. She kept asking me to try again and again. She obviously wasn't the brightest apple in the bunch, because she didn't quite get it. That it wasn't going to work. She said she just wasn't going to go to Diamond Tiara's party, but what se didn't realise was that the party was in the next room. Because it was in the next room, I decided to go. Why not? It would be fun. I kept an eye on her for the rest of the party to see what she would do.

Later on at the party, I noticed that Apple Bloom was being bullied for not having a cutie mark. I was going to step in, but two other fillies who didn't have their cutie marks got involved and defended Apple Bloom. They got Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon back by embarrassing them. After that I stepped in and said that they were three lucky fillies. Diamond Tiara was very confused and asked how they could be lucky. She was so stuck up and annoying. She really needs a spanking with a Piece of wood with a nail in. I explained why they were lucky, because they can still experience the time they find out who they really are. Oh and after that, I found it very funny that Diamond Tiara went on a little filly rampage because she wasn't getting attention. It's cute when fillies like her go on little anger bursts and what I loves was that everypony was paying attention to Apple Bloom. How embarrassing would that be? Being outcasted at your own party that was put on because you got your cutie mark by a pony who didn't have their cutie mark!

For the rest of the party, me and Applejack drank punch together and went back home very wobbly and dizzy, and we both knew that we were going to have hangovers the next day. Ugh, and I still needed to do a friendship report for Princess Celestia. Writing when you're drunk? That's gonna be hard. But I just got Spike to do it.

Fall Weather Friends

Dear diary,

Today, Applejack called me over about something her and Rainbow Dash were doing. I arrived at Sweet Apple Acres and Applejack told me it was something called an iron pony contest. A series of athletic events which decides who is the more athletic pony and Applejack wanted me to be the judge of the event. Rainbow Dash seemed to be in one of her moods where she shows off all the time, bragging, those sort of things. I could tell she was going to be annoying today.

A few hours later, Applejack and Rainbow Dash started to set up events and it was attracting a crowd. Spike started announcing and I could tell that he would be annoying because he would have to talk all day if he was given the job of an announcer. I just want one day, just one, where he would shut up for at least a a second.

The first event started, Applejack and Rainbow Dash had to run through obstacles in the quickest time possible. Applejack done a good run, but Rainbow Dash done better. I could see Applejack not talking her first loss well. But still, Rainbow Dash won the first event.

The second event started, Applejack and Rainbow Dash had to buck a bell ringer to... Well... Ring a bell at the top. Rainbow Dash done good as she hit the bell, but Applejack done better as she knocked the bell of the pole. She is strong! She was probably on steroids. Applejack started bragging, which is something you wouldn't expect a pony like her to do. It seemed like they were going to end up fighting soon, it would be like Rarity and Applejack all over again.

The next event was a rodeo. Applejack and Rainbow Dash needed to buck Spike off them in the fastest time possible to win. Spike didn't like it, but he deserved it for the way he acted when we were doing winter wrap up. Applejack managed to get Spike off in a good time, but Rainbow Dash managed to get him off three times less than Applejack. ~~He sent Spike flying above my head. It was hilarious.~~ Rainbow Dash won the event.

The next event was the lasso. Applejack managed to lasso Spike in next to no time. ~~Today was just torture for him.~~ While Rainbow Dash lassoed herself to a tree. How do you even do that? But Applejack won the lasso event.

These events went of for hours on end with Spike getting more bones broken with every event. I had mixed feelings about him getting hurt. Pretty soon, Spike started to be the announcer again to the rest of Ponyville. I don't know why they wanted to see Applejack and Rainbow Dash battle in the iron pony contest. Maybe because there is never anything good on in Ponyville anyway.

As the judge, I had to announce the final event. Rope pulling. Unfortunately, Applejack lost. She fell in the mud. Ha. Rainbow Dash won the last event with the highest score, she was the iron pony. But still she was being a pile of bird droppings for showing off again. But Applejack said that Rainbow Dash cheated because she used her wings, but no pony said she couldn't use her wings. So Applejack and Rainbow Dash planned to enter the running of the leaves. To see who was the true iron pony. I decided to enter to because I wanted to explore Ponyville a bit more, and it would be fun. And Applejack called it. No wings.

The next day, Spike and I went to the running of the leaves. Spike wanted to be the announcer again, but unlucky for him, the job was taken by Pinkie Pie. Now we don't need to hear him talk all day announcing every little obvious thing that goes on. When will he learn that everypony would feel better if he just shut his mouth.

It was five minutes until the race started and I gathered at the starting line. It turns out that Pinkie Pie let Spike be her co reporter. Oh great, thanks Pinkie Pie. Now everypony has to hear his stupid voice when he reports every little thing that he sees. Everypony may as well just go home now, the race will be a bore now that's he's the eye in the sky. The only way he could be entertaining is if he fell out of the ballon and broke something. I arrived at the starting line and noticed that Applejack was using a rope to tie Rainbow's wings to her body so she couldn't use them. She was being very serious about this. Applejack asked what I was doing, I told her I was racing and then Rainbow Dash laughed and fell to the floor. She thought I was joking, yet she doesn't realise that the colour of her mane is a joke, have you seen it? The amount of colours that were there. They would probably blind somepony if the sun light reflected off it. She called me an egghead and told me to go read books on racing rather than race. She is offencive sometimes, but she's just trying to make herself feel better for being a total dunce. Applejack started to join in. But she was brought up on a farm, so you could imagine that she was supposed to be stupid anyway.

The race started and I was in the middle of the racers. I could see Rainbow Dash and Applejack battling for first place up ahead. While also, the commentary created by Pinkie Pie and Spike was actually entertaining and funny. It was incredibly random.

Later on in the race, Applejack tripped on a rock and landed flat in her face, she was behinde the rest of the racers like me. She accused Rainbow Dash of tripping her up, but she didn't see where she was going and accused her for no reason. Judgmental barn animal. I went on jogging and not running, looking at the scenery.

Later on, Rainbow Dash tripped on a stump and accused Applejack of tripping her. Obviously none of them looked where they were going. Judgmental, hothead show off. After I showed her the proof, she still was in denial and still accused Applejack. I just decided to go allomg and leave her be. She wasn't gonna reason, do why try? While she ran after Applejack, I went to do my own thing.

Later on, I saw Rainbow Dash laughing for some reason. She said she was sure to win, but she didn't realise that everypony else already past her. To busy trying to fool Applejack I guess.

I then saw them standing around. I told them that the running of the leaves should involve running. Told by an "egghead" who apparently knows nothing about racing.

I went up ahead while those two started fighting. I ran up against everypony at the end when they where tired and became one of the first to cross the line. I got fifth place, that wasn't bad for my first race. When Applejack and Rainbow Dash got passed the Finish line, they tied for last place. When they were confused of how I won, I told them my method. For some reason, Princess Celestia showed up to celebrate the running of the leaves. Because of the both of them tricking eachother, most of the leaves were still on the trees. Princess Celestia suggested they went on another run. And that is what they did.

Today, I learned another lesson between two friends of mine. If you're bored, just lock Rainbow Dash and Applejack in a room together and just watch.

Suited For Sucsess

Dear diary,

Today, I went with Applejack to see Rarity. When we walked in, Applejack came in shouting. Not anger but actually a greeting. Strange, but being raised on a farm must of effected her education on manners and respect in other ponies houses. I told Applejack to zip it as she didn't realise that Rarity was concentrating on making something, it looked like a dress, but who knew? Only Rarity would know what it was because she was making it and that nopony in town has the same fashion interests than her, that's why nopony knows what she made when they're finished, because they are so over packed with gems and things, they soon become unrecognisable. I asked get to fix a button for me, the button on my dress for the Grand Galloping Galla. She refused because it was old and "unfashionable" She insisted that she made me a new dress, which was very generous of her, she is the element of generosity, but also it was the first time she has been generous since we defeated Nightmare Moon. Finally, she's living up to her element, about time too. Then, suddenly, Rainbow Dash came crashing through the roof of Rarity's house, causing damage. She obviously didn't know what manners was eaither. Rarity then insisted that she made Rainbow Dash a dress for tha Gala as well. Really? Rainbow Dash came in her house, caused damage, and then decided to make her a new dress for free. That's actually very generous after what she did to her roof. I would probably be screaming at her and make her fix it.

The next day, Rarity asked is to come over and see out new dresses. I didn't expect it when she called, I don't know how she did it that fast. We arrived at her house and she lead us to our dresses. We opened our eyes and... They were terrible. I now know how se did it so fast, she rushed them and now they looked like a complete disaster. Rarity didn't think about what we wanted at all. Rarity but shoes on Applejack's dress. Did she really think that Applejack would ware shoes? We all tried to make up excuses, until Rainbow Dash opened her mouth. She really knows how to tell a pony straight. We told her it wasn't what we had in mind and her facial expression was heart breaking, like her cat died or something. She soon cheered up and decided to start again, which was really nice of her. She was being really generous for some reason. We decided to leave after all of that and we all hoped she would do better next time.

The next day, Rarity called me over again to ask me exactally what I wanted. I said I wanted it all starry and sparkles. I also wanted a moon on there, and that's exactly what she did. I was thankful of her and left. I wasn't there long. What do you know? Rarity CAN stop being a spiteful, snobby pony for once. I did start to feel a bit sorry for her , she looked like se was about to die of stress.

The next day, Rarity called us all over again. To show us our new, new dresses. When I saw it, my eyes shined. She got it right, finally! It was exactally what I asked for. What was better was it was the night of the fashion show and everypony would be able to see our dresses. But what was even better was that Hoity Toity, a famous fashion designer from Canterlot was coming to see them too. If he liked them, Rarity's business would be booming!

It was the night of the fashion show and Spike did the intro. We were on stage and the curtains lifted and ponies finally saw our brilliant dresses. We walked down the else thinking that they were brilliant. Then we noticed that everypony hated them and we may have over did it a bit. Raity was asked to come out, she looked destroyed.

Rarity didn't come out for days. Everypony decided to come to her house and try to make her happy again. We arrived and found out that she felt like a lighting stock. We told her she wasn't. But she kind of was a laughing stock, we just tried to hide it until Dashie had to open her mouth again. She was really being over dramatic about the whole thing. Saying that she was pathetic, well she wasn't wrong there, but that wasn't the point. I had an idea. We stole Pinkie Pie's dress and made it better, then we needed to drive Rarity out of her house. So I told Rainbow Dash to put her cat up in a tree. It was a dark thing to do but it was the only way of getting her out of her house. We showed her the new design and she said she loved it. That was a good thing, otherwise we just commuted a crime of animal cruelty for nothing.

A few hours later, we redesigned the horrible dresses to their old design and then got Hoity Toity over for a second fashion show. Take two. We showed off all the dresses and he loved them, Rarity's business started booming like a bomb going off. What was even better for Rarity
Was that Hoity Toity wanted to feature these dresses in his best of the best boutique.

Rarity learned something these past few days. If somepony doesn't like your design that you made for them. Tell them to take it or get out and find a new designer if they want to be selfish.

Feeling Pinkie Keen

Dear diary,

I was up bright and early today with nothing deadly or annoying causing it, can you believe it? Finally one day without anything waking me up because something was going on. But seriously, I was up early to practise a new spell that Princess Celestia had told me to learn. It was a transformation spell, and Spike was helping me, I place a leaf necklace around his neck, a rock on his head and a stick in his claws. The spell needed full concentraition. I managed to tranfom the necklace into a tuxedo, the stick into a staff and the rock into a top hat, until Spike ruined it. He lost his concentration because of Pinkie Pie sneeking about and distracting him. She kept zooming from place to another, suspiciously. She kept twitching for some reason, some form of turrets I guess. I decided to go have a look. She said her tail was twitching and it meant something. She said it was part of the pinkie sense, what ever that meant. A twitching tail meant that something was going to fall and to get to cover. Then, suddenly a frog fell from the sky and onto my muzzle. Strange that it would happen when Pinkie Pie mentioned she "sense." But there was a perfect explanation for it, Fluttershy dropped her frog on my face, klutz. Pinkie Pie left, along with the frog on my face. I decided to get back to practicing the new spell. Spike started talking about the pinkie sense. I couldn't believe that he believed Pinkie Pie about the pinkie sense. Oh yeah, I still didn't fix the gullible thing with him. I need to remember to stop him believing everything he sees. He obviously didn't see the perfect explanation. Just then, Pinkie Pie showed up again about the twitchy tail, apparently something was going to fall. Then, I fell into a ditch. Yet another perfect explanation, I still didn't believe the pinkie sense. Spike and I started talking about how the pinkie sense was fake, when Applejack showed up and started to worry. She believed then pinkie sense as well as Spike. How gullible is everypony in this town? Applejack ran for cover. Then, Suprise, Suprise, Pinkie Pie showed up again. With a new sense, her ears were flopping. Ooo! Scary! Apparently, when Pinkie Pie's ears flop, it means somepony is going to get dirty. Coincidently, I got covered in mud. But whatever I still didn't believe it.

I went back to Sugar Cube Corner so Pinkie Pie could run me a bath and so she could explain the pinkie sense. So, the pinkie sense worked like this: Pinkie Pie would get random little twitches that mean different things. She explained what every twitch meant. If her back was itchy, it meant it was her lucky day. My lucky day would be the day when ponies would stop being so insane. If her knee gets pinchy, I means that something scary is going to happen. And when her shoulder is achey, that means there is an alligator in the bath tub. Turns out that Pinkie Pie's pet aligator was in the tub I was washing myself in. It scared the life out of me. I couldn't believe she thought that was a ok thing to do.

When I was finished in the alligator infested bath tub, I left Sugar Cube Corner with Pinkie Pie. I told her I still didn't believe in the pinkie sense. She tired to convince me it was real, but I still didn't believe it. I arrived at the library with Pinkie Pie, just then, the door slammed in my face when Spike was leaving the library. I'm suprised I'm not dead yet after everything that's happened to me. I said that I still didn't believe the pinkie sense. She said because I didn't understand it. That gave me an idea.

I took her to my basement where I kept all of the scientific technology that I ~~stole~~ was going to use to experiment Pinkie Pie's pinkie sense, this should proof once and for all if it was real or not. The machinery took readings of the body. I hooked Pinkie Pie up to it and started to take down the readings. I was doing this for two things. One, to find out about pinkie sense, and two, to find out why she was so random and how she could do things that a normal earth pony couldn't. I started up the machine and normal readings were the result. After all day of twitching, I had her all hooked up and then, nothing. Typical. I have up on this pinkie sense and I didn't care anymore. When we were at the door to the library from the basement, Pinkie Pie got a twitch and I got slammed in the face with a door again! I had to figure the pinkie sense out. It bugged me because the science was all wrong.

I decided to stalk Pinkie Pie by hiding in a bush. I investigated her actions from a far. Most of the time she was just bouncing about. Then, Spike snook up behind me and scared me. He didn't realise that it was trying to spy on Pinkie Pie. Spike joined me in spying on Pinkie Pie. We followed her and she started rolling around the school house grounds. I noticed something, Pinkie Pie got an itchy nose and hid for cover. But I knew that twitchy tail stood for something falling out of the sky, not a twitchy nose, that is when I thought something was wrong. But I think the twitchy nose meant a large group of bees where coming our way, because I got stung by hundreds. I ended up having stings all over my body. I couldn't believe I was putting myself in harms way for this.

We kept following her after I healed myself from all of those bee stings. We saw her sniffing a flower. Not much. Then I saw her twitch. Ear flop. Eye flutter. Leg twitch. The sign for opening doors. Spike ran and hid. I still couldn't believe that he believed that stuff. Just then I fell down Applejacks new underground seller because the door opened... Why was I having such a painful day?!

After I had been to the hospital and was put into a wheel chair, I went back to Pinkie Pie to examine her more. Pinkie Pie got a twitchy tail. Spike freaked out and started running around in terror because something was going to fall. He was over reacting. Just then, a plant pit fell on my head. Then an anvil, which broke my wheel chair. A wagon, which I was not buried under. And then a piano, which surprisingly, didn't kill me. I looked up and saw the reason for all of that was Derpy, dropping everything. I'm going to sue her for everything she's got. I'm already injured enough, because of her, I'm suprised the didn't have my grave in that carriage they were pulling.

I followed Pinkie Pie some more, but I still stayed next to the grave yard, just in case. It turns out that Pinkie Pie knew I was following her all day. I was about to loose my mind. Then, Pinkie Pie got a twitch. Her whole body shuck. She said it never happened before and it was going to happen at a swamp. I swear she was just making the twitches up all along. But I decided to go anyway. Because everypony else was going.

We finally made it to the swamp that Futtershy was at. We found her pretty quickly and we noticed nothing was wrong. I knew I was right, until... A hydra appeared! A fucking hydra! Yes, I wanted to keep my diary rated for everyone, but a hydra is a bit to much to be calm about.I couldn't believe it! A hydra! I thought they were extinct! But apparently not. This must have been the reason for the twitch. I ran along with everypony else, but Pinkie Pie was in shock and wouldn't move, I had to go back for her. Then, Spike got stuck and I needed to go back for him, not like he deserved to have his life saved. But I didn't want to disappoint Princess Celestia. We ran up a hill to escape. We thought we had escaped, but then we found out that we had to do a jump. Everypony got over safe, but I had to stay and distract the hydra. I ran towards is like a total idiot. I ran under it. It's heads went under itself to try and get me. Surprisingly, it was stupid enough to do that and it ended up sitting on itself. It climbed back up the hill and it went for me. Luckily it missed me, but it destroyed the jump I needed to do to get to my friends. I still tried... And missed. I fell into the swamp, but I was brought back up by a mud bubble. For some reason the logic of bubbles were also broken, along with Pinkie Pie's logic. But thanks to bad logic bubble, I bounced to safety. I thought it was safe. But then, Pinkie Pie started shaking again. Turns out that the hydra wasn't the problem. So what ever it was, it wasn't the hydra that caused Pinkie Pie to activate her pinkie sense. I lost my shit after that. I couldn't fight it. I had to believe it. I finally believed the pinkie sense. Then, Pinkie Pie stopped shaking. Pinkie Pie said that the doozie was that I didn't believe the pinkie sense. Finally, it was over.

Pinkie Pie was just lucky I didn't know any harmful spells to physically harm her with when I found out that me not believing was the doozie. That's all I'm going to say.

Author's Note

I won't be over using swearing, by the way. Only when Twilight freaks out.

Sonic Rainboom

Dear diary,

Today I had my friends over to help me clean up all of my books, they did a good job of helping me, most anyway, because a certain rainbow Pegasus came crashing through my window and messed up all of my friends hard work. Rainbow Dash sure did know how to annoy ponies, she knew how to mess things up for ponies, and all she had to say for herself was sorry. The reason was because she was practicing for the young flyers competition in Cloudsdale. Suddenly I had thousands of questions to ask and they were answered. A sonic rainboom is when somepony goes so fast, they break the light barrier, I've heard of a sound barrier, but not a light barrier. Visible light is made out of all colours of the rainbow, but put them all together and you get visible light. If you go faster than light, according to the legend, you can separate these colours to see all the colours of the rainboom after an explosion caused by breaking the barrier. I learned something interesting from my dumb friends, how about that? Anyway, when Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy left, Rarity started poking me with her horn. I thought she was trying to feel me up, but no, she wanted to get us wingless ponies to Cloudsdale to support Rainbow Dash. Pinkie Pie threw me a book that had the spell that I needed to do so. Lucky for everypony, now they can go to a place where only Pegasi are meant to go. I was able to give Rarity wings to go to Cloudsdale, but it was a hard spell and wasn't easy to repeat. I needed a new spell to get everypony to Cloudsdale. Why did I let Rarity be the test subject? It's not like she deserves wings. How ungrateful she is.

Today was the day we left for Cloudsdale. Just before we left, I put a spell on everypony that would allow them to walk on clouds, it was easier that doing the wing spell another three times. I cast the spell and it was successful. We then rented the hot air balloon to get to Cloudsdale.

We arrived at Cloudsdale and met with Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. They were extremely confused how we could walk on clouds and how Rarity had wings. I explained the spell that I cast on myself, Applejack and Pinkie Pie. Then explained the spell I cast on Rarity. It made sense to Rainbow Dash. To be honest, I didn't think she was intelligent enough to understand. Rainbow Dash had a great idea that didn't include destroying my house! She said that she and Flutterhsy could give us a your of Cloudsdale. It would be pretty cool.

The first part of the tour was the rainbow factory, ~~where fears and horrors come true.~~ It was beautiful, Rainbow Dash showed us every inch of the factory. The snow flakes, which were very delicate. I didn't think Rarity understood the word "delicate." She started flapping her wings and caused the snowflakes to fly away.

The next part of the tour was the rainbow room, where they made the rainbows. Again, it was beautiful. Why didn't I find this spell earlier to see everything here, it's just amazing. For some reason, Pinkie Pie thought it would be good to taste the rainbow ~~(Motherfucker!)~~ She then started to run around panicking because the rainbow was spicy. I wanted to laugh, but I couldn't, just in case I laughed so hard, fell to the floor and fell of a cloud. We were interrupted by some jerks who liked to bully Rainbow Dash and also started looking at Rarity with her wings and got horny. We decided to ignore them and carry on with the tour.

We reached the cloud room... Where they made clouds. Everything was going well, until Rarity started showing off her wings, making Rainbow Dash nervous and then, if it wasn't bad enough, decided to enter the young flyers competition. When she wanted to support Rainbow Dash, that soon turned into a cheap quest for fame.

It was the next day and we were at Cloudsdale stadium to see the young flyers competition. The first thing we saw was Princess Celestia arriving. Then the judges arrived, the wonderbolts. And now there was nothing to wait for but Rainbow Dash to do her stuff and for us to support her. While we waited, we discussed other ponies who were flying and how good they were.

Finally, Rainbow Dash and Rarity were next, they flew out and started to do their stuff. We focused on Rainbow Dash's first trick. She flew through obstacles, but unfortunately hit one and crashed, but she was back up in no time. We then focused on Rarity's first trick, she decided to spin, gracefully. Then, Rainbow Dash's second trick, spinning the clouds. She done it quite well, but was hit by one, knocking her and the cloud off corse, Rainbow Dash was knocked into the distance, but came back. While the cloud almost assassinated the Princess. This might sound a bit dark, but it would be funny to have a Princesses grave saying how she died. "Princess Celestia, a loved by many Princess, assassinated by a cloud." Then, Rarity's second trick, she flew up to the sky, covering the sun and her wings reflected the light, covering the whole stadium with amazing colours... Until... Her wings evaporated into thin air and se started plummeting to the ground. I guess my spell wasn't that strong, but she deserved it because of how stuck up she was with Rainbow Dash. The wonderbolts came to the rescue, until Rarity wouldn't stop panicking and hit them, rendering them out cold. The only one to save them now was Rainbow Dash. She saw what was going on and she flew to the rescue at a incredibly high speed. She was going so fast to safe Rarity and the wonderbolts, that she created a sonic rainboom in the process and saved the lives of the most famous flyers ever... And Rarity. The crowd roared for her and because she saved the wonderbolts, she won first place and also won the competition.

Later on, Rarity was put into the balloon before she made a huge apology to all of us. The wonderbolts showed up to say thanks to Rainbow Dash for saving their lives. Princess Celestia also showed up to get my friendship report that Rarity helped me understand. After that, we were all set to go back to Ponyville. But Rainbow Dash didn't want to come as she had a romantic date with the male wonderbolts. Let's leave the description at that. The rest of us went back to Ponyville to rest from a long trip. One thing I've noticed about my five friends is that whenever they have an argument with each other, it's normally caused by Rarity. I don't think she deserves to be a keeper of an element of harmony.

The Show Stoppers

Dear diary,

Today wasn't that interesting, nothing interesting has happened for a while, the last thing that was intresting that I done was with the hydra. Anyway, nothing was happening. But the Cutie Mark Crusaders where trying to get their cutie marks. They mustn't know much about them, so I got their teacher, Mrs Cheerilee, to come talk to them while they were at my library.

I returned with her to find my library in a wreck... Again... Turns out the Cutie Mark Crusaders were trying to be librarians, like me. But sadly failed and admited it. Which was good, it's good for them to admit their failures, until Spike started to rub it in for them, horrible, purple and green snot. I went over, telling them to ignore Spike and ignore the things that they were doing and do the things that they like doing. Doing things they liked would help them get their cutie marks faster. I'm glad I brought Cheerilee along because she had the perfect place to start. A talent show being hosted in Ponyville! But they still missed the point. DO WHAT YOU LIKE DOING! Don't do random things that you don't like doing. Do things you like and are good at. Judging by their listening skills, I don't think they're A* students.

When they returned, they had a bunch of things with them, fabrics, a fan, cans of paint. They came over to see me to borrow a book. A horror book. I didn't know why they wanted it, but my only guess is they were trying to get their cutie marks in bed wetting from scary stories.

It was the night of the fashion show, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders were about to go on. I went back stage to wish them luck, but when I saw them, it wasn't what I was expecting. They didn't look good, they looked like some kind of bad boy band who couldn't sing and were laughed and booed at every time they sang and still thought they were good. I asked them about the act to see if that was any better, but it wasn't. It was worse! Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all. Scootaloo was singing, bad idea, she sings like Snips and Snails. Apple Bloom was doing Kong Fu. I'm now doing bets of how many bones she would break, other ponies and her own. And finally, Sweetie Bell was in charge of props and costumes. Which means the designing talent didn't run in the family. They were awful. But I hid the truth, I had to. I didn't want to crush their confidence when they were about to go on. I went back to my seat when they went on. The act started and everypony was gob smacked from the first line, it was that bad, then there was Spike, sitting next to me, laughing. At the end of the act, let's just say that the stage was theirs, because no pony wanted it now that they destroyed it. Spike was still laughing, and so was the crowd, because they couldn't keep in the laughter anymore. Next it was time for the awards. Snips and Snails got an award for best magic show, sponsored by the Great and Powerful Trixie. In fact, they were the only magic show, and they were really bad. The two fillies with the roller skates one an award, which was good. They deserved it. Believe it or not, the Cutie Mark Crusaders got an award. Spike chocked on his popcorn when he heard that announcement. For best comedy act. You have to agree, it was so bad it was laughable. I went backstage again to congratulate them. But they got an award and still were depressed because they didn't have their cutie marks yet. Meaning they still didn't learn that it takes time for a cutie mark! They don't listen at all.

Fillies don't listen anymore, what happened to the good old days when fillies were disaplined when they didn't listen or do as they were told? Because these three could really use it.

A Dog And Pony Show

Dear diary,

Today was a huge amount of commotion. The only thing that was meant to be going on was Spike and Rarity looking for jewels. That was until Spike gathered everypony. Me, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy because of an emergency. Rarity had been kidnaped by three dogs... How do you get kidnaped by dogs, is she that weak? We didn't know much, so on the way there, I had Spike tell us everything after he calmed down. We learned more, apparently, the dogs were called the Diamond Dogs who kidnaped Rarity and took her down a hole. A hole. One hole.

When we arrived, we noticed that there was not one hole, but dozens. I looked down one and another pair of creepy eyes looked back. They filled every hole with dirt to prevent us from getting in. We started looking for a hole that they hadn't filled in yet. But there was no luck. We had no choice but to dig them out. The Diamond Dogs must of heard us, because they kept digging up behind us and pulling our tails and tripping us up. That was just unfair, they obviously didn't know any manners or knew anything about personal space. But because they showed themselves, I knew what we were up against. But at the current moment, we didn't know what to do. Until Spike had an idea, it was a good plan, those Diamond Dogs were obsessed with jewels, so Spike put one on a fishing line and out it down a empty hole, good idea and I wanted to tease him for shouting, "I'll save you, my sweet!" But it wouldn't be fair if I said it after he thought of a good idea. For some reason he started day dreaming about Rarity, I guess that kissed in Spike's dream, because Spike almost kissed Applejack. God dammit, no wonder ponies think he's weird. Also, a question for myself. If Princess Luna can enter somepony's dream when they're sleeping, can Princess Celestia enter somepony's dream when they day dream? I'll need to think about that later. After the hilarious embarrassment of Spike and Applejack, the fishing line started being tugged. It was obviously the diamond dogs trying to get a cheap jewel. It dragged Spike down along with everypony else.

We were finally in, that was the main thing, but there were so many tunnels that the Diamond Dogs dug, we didn't know which ones to go down. We were lost in our tracks, again, and it would take forever to find Rarity. Spike had another brilliant idea, he seemed to think better when his love was in danger. Maybe Rarity could get lost more often, Spike would think better and no more annoying drama queen. Anyway, the idea was for me to copy Rarity's gem finding spell. The tunnel with the misty gems would lead to Rarity, because she would be doing the same thing. I found the tunnel that had the most jewels and we ran down it, hoping, well some of us who didn't want the drama queen back weren't hoping, but some were hoping that it lead to Rarity.

We were further down the tunnel and could hear Rarity screaming. We were at the door, when a bunch of Diamond Dogs jumped down with ropes to try and catch us. Applejack showed us how to get rid of them and was quite fun to do. Spike knew he was close and he got a bit to exited, he but the rope around my muzzle and stood on my back, wanting me to run into the door, while riding me, bursting through the door and saving Rarity . He didn't know any manners either and he obviously didn't know that you put rope around a ponies muzzle to try and take control of them, it's just rude, but he wanted to impress Rarity and I gave in. Bursting through the door was exactly what I did. But Spike's entry of being a hero was waisted when we found out that the Diamond Dogs decided to give her back to us. Why? Because she nagged them, by the sounds of how desperate they were to get rid of her, almost annoyed them to death. Oh, the amount I would pay to see Rarity annoy someone to death is uncountable. It turns out that her nagging can be good for letting the enemy let her go because her whining would be classed as torture.

We left the den of the Diamond Dogs with Rarity and a boat load of jewels. Pretty cool. But, to be honest, from all the trouble she causes between my friends, Rainbow Dash and Applejack, her snobby attitude, she sometimes deserves to be kidnaped and never seen again.

Green Isn't Your Colour

Dear diary,

Today, Spike and I went over to Rarity's house to help her with a dress. Just a small thing to do for her. We went over and straight away, it was obvious that Spike was trying to impress her. He kept calling her, "The most beautiful thing in the world." ~~When will he learn that a pony isn't going to fall in love with a bad mannered, disgusting, baby dragon who only loves her for her rump... And other parts... He flirts with Rarity to much, I might need to get him neutered.~~ He wanted to tell us a secret. He had a crush on Rarity. As if it wasn't noticeable. He was wearing a shirt with Rarity's face on, how did she not know yet? Suddenly, Photo Finnish, a famous designer, walked in to take some pictures of Rarity's dress. She didn't take much and didn't seem interested. Strange. Rarity saw Photo's reaction the same way I did. She didn't feel like she impressed her at all, until Photo Finnish walked back in. She said she had found a new star because of Rarity's dress. Rarity seemed happy and I was happy for her. Not many times that you see me fell happy for Rarity because if the way she acts, but I have to give her a break despite all of her faults with her friendships.

Spike and I went to Rarity's later on to ask how it went with Photo Finnish. It turns out that Photo Finnish didn't want to make Rarity shine across all of Equestria, but she wanted Fluttershy to. Rarity's dream had been crushed by a pony who was more stuck up than her. I felt sorry for her and I was having a lot if feelings for her for the first time. She wanted to be alone. When Spike heard those words, he tried his little tricks. He pushed us out of the room and went over to Rarity, ~~supposedly to flirt again, horny little runt. He's sex crazed.~~

The next day, Rarity invited me and Fluttershy to the spa. But only I showed up with Rarity waiting for us. Turns out that Fluttershy got caught up with her career with Photo Finnish that she couldn't come. Rarity was starting to become her old self again when she saw that Fluttershy didn't turn up with me, she started to get jealous, but honesty, I don't blame her, if she got jealous when all of this had just started, then yes, I would think she was just being selfish and ignorant, and being jealous, but she has a right to be jealous. What fluttershy is being doing with Photo Finnish was Rarity's dream, even though it's not Fluttershy's fault, it's Photo Finnish's. And because of this, it's taking up the time between Fluttershy and Rarity and it's not fair on any of them. But she was loosing trust, and losing a friends trust is the fastest way to loose a friend. Then Pinkie Pie bounces out of a small bowl of sponges shouting, "FOREVER!" I'm still trying to work out how she fit in there, but Pinkie Pie never changes and is always strange in a good and funny way. But it was wrong that Fluttershy became famous because she wore Rarity's dress and Rarity hadn't been given any credit. She left the spa and calmed down. I went went into the spa to relax, when suddenly, Fluttershy finally showed up. She felt so guilty when she found out that Raritu already left, even though it wasn't her fault and no pony blamed her. She told me something that she told me to swear not to tell any pony. I finally found out the truth. Fluttershy hated being a model and she only done it because Rarity wanted her to do it because it was her big chance.

Fluttershy and I left the spa. She didn't realise that she could just quit. But she didn't want to because Rarity would be devastated. I was going to say what Rarity told me so she felt some support, but Pinkie Pie kept popping up to stop me from saying it, reminding me that losing a friends trust is the fastest way to lose a friend. If Fluttershy quit, then Photo Finnish would have to find somepony else with "the magics!" Futtershy was right and I knew how to fix the problem. I got a but to exited and started jumping around, knocking Fluttershy's hat off that she was using to hide herself. Suddenly, everypony started gathering round us trying to take pictures. I kind of ruined the moment.

I went over to see Pinkie Pie to explain my plan. I could use my magic to do something that would make her look unattractive in her next show, no pony would be obsessed with her anymore, and if no pony would be obsessed with her anymore, Rarity wouldn't have to be jealous of her anymore, and I wouldn't have to keep their secrets any more. But Pinkie Pie had to promise not to tell anypony and she did.

It was the night of the fashion show that Fluttershy was staring in, Fluttershy was in on the plan and was ready. She walked out and everypony loved her and the dress she wore. I used my magic to control her body to make her look revolting. I make her act like a dog, act like a donkey and pick her nose, and start dragging her across the floor. Everypony's view of her soon changed. It worked. No pony was interested in her anymore. Until Rarity showed up in a dress that everypony liked. Rarity was pretended to love it to support her friend, but she didn't know what was really going on, and because Rarity liked it while she was wearing a beautiful dress, everypony else liked it to. It suddenly went all wrong and she became more popular than before. I couldn't make any mean jokes about Rarity while writing this, because she was just trying to support her friend, she did to or that she ruined everything like always. I was despatate to tell everypony the truth and what secrets I had to keep. I almost broke down. I had to stuff fruit in my mouth to stop myself, I had to put my head in dirt to stop my self from talking. But I could still hear under the dirt and it seemed that they both worked out the problem together. They said everything I wanted to say to them. Photo Finnish walked in and Fluttershy quit, just like that! It was finally over! I didn't have to burst out everything that needed to be said! What a relief. But one thing slipped out. I shouted that Spike had a crush on Rarity, but luckily, Rarity already left the room. But in all honestly, it would be fun to hear Rarity's reaction to it.

Later on, Fluttershy, Rarity and I went to the spa to catch up on things that were missed and I wrote my friendship report while I was there. In the letter I wrote, it stated, "You should never be afraid to say your true feelings to or about a friend." Which kind of defeats the whole purpose of this diary... Huh...

Over A Barrel

Dear diary,

I'm keeping the diary, I don't care what I learned about friendship in my last entry, it still has it's purposes, for instance , it can help me get rid of my rage because of my friends being total jerks or doing something stupid.

Anyway, I got up early today to go to a newly built town called Appaloosa. My friends and I got the morning train. We didn't to much for most of the trip, we got on the train early in the day and we slept on the train, so it was a long trip. We didn't do much. Mostly talking. But there was a rumour that Rarity caught Applejack telling a story to an apple tree. She has finally lost her Granny Smith apples... Ha! Get it? Ugh never mind, I need to stop with my really bad jokes, thank Celestia that I am the only ones that can read them. It was early in the morning when we all went to bed. About one in the morning and Rarity and Spike were trying to get to sleep while the rest of us all talked, they were getting very annoyed. Spike started being aggressive, he started moaning about he was fire roasting the popcorn we were eating and he was very tired from it and he wanted to go to sleep. Then, Rainbow Dash had to make it worse and point out that some of the popcorn didn't get popped. Spike tries to do her a "favour" and pop them for her, he ended up blowing fire, burning the popcorn and almost killing Rainbow Dash. He almost killed a pony over sleep. He's worse than Rarity! I decided to get all of us asleep before Spike or Rarity snapped again. Finally the lights were out. Then, just after, when no pony was asleep yet because we had just shut our eyes. Rainbow Dash started whispering to Pinkie Pie. It was entertaining since Pinkie Pie asked if Rainbow Dash was asleep yet, even though Rainbow Dash spoke first. It was defiantly entertaining, and I wanted to join in the fun. I asked what was going on and Pinkie Pie said that Rainbow Dash thinks Fluttershy is a tree. Rainbow Dash denied it. Soon, this weird and wonderful argument was created between Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. She said it sarcastically but still she said it. I don't think Pinkie Pie quite understands sarcasm. I decided to join in and tease Rainbow Dash a bit, telling her that Fluttershy isn't a tree. What made it even more random was that Fluttershy joined in saying she would like to be a tree. Spike couldn't take it anymore and decided to sleep in the back with the ~~Fluttershy~~ tree. He was a bit angry and acted like a baby. I don't know why he couldn't lighten up and take a joke. He needs to stop being a baby and stop crying over small things like a few hours of sleep lost. It wasn't going to kill him. Somepony else will probably do that before lack of sleep, probably kill him for being a douche all the time. I'm surprised it hasn't happened yet. Then suddenly, Rarity screamed at us at the tip of her voice to tell is to be quite. She had a mud mask on and it looked horrifying. Something that was more terrifying than Nightmare Moon. We all went to sleep and we were as quite as we could be.

The next morning, we were woken up at the crack of dawn by a buffalo stampede. Everypony thought it was amazing, until we found out their plans. They didn't look ok though, maybe they needed one of Rarity's mud masks to make them look nicer. Their plans were to get close to the train, attack the train, steal the caboose of the train with the tree and Spike inside and leave. I didn't know why.

We finally arrived at Appaloosa, where we were greeted by Applejacks cousin, Braeburn. Applejack tried to tell him what happened, but he was to caught up in showing us around town. After the tour around town, and when Braeburn wouldn't stop talking, Applejack finally lost it and shouted at him for not shutting his muzzle for three seconds. We all explained what happened. The stampede of buffalo and what they did, they stole one of our friends. Two of our friends according to Lost-her-applesjack. He explained the buffalo. The buffalo wanted all of the ponies at Appaloosa to get rid of all of the apple trees that the ponies at Appaloosa had planted, and they didn't want any new ones added in. When he explained it, it wasn't fair on the Appaloosians.

The next day, we set off to find Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Poe and Spike, we were all packed and ready to go. We finally set off to find them, but to our surprise they escaped the buffalo and were able to meet us at the entrance of Appaloosa. It turns out that they didn't escape the buffalo, they brought the buffalo to Appaloosa to give them a chance to talk. Talk about reasons why the Appaloosians should move the apple trees. Then, Applejack butted in and said that she wanted to talk about the reasons why the apple trees should stay. Rainbow Dash was on the buffaloes side and Applejack and the rest of us (at the moment) were on the Appalosians side. Pretty soon, an argument, a real argument, unlike the one on the train with Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, broke loose between Applejack and Rainbow Dash. That was when I stepped in to stop the childish debate. Both sides had good reasons to why they should have the land. There must be a peace to be broken there. Pinkie Pie had a "great" idea. To sing about the situation. Oh great, this will go well. Because we all know that Pinkie Pie's singing always resolves everything.

Later on in the day, everything was set for Pinkie Pie's, predicted awful performance. Spike was ready on the piano ready to play while Pinkie Pie sang. So, the song started playing and it was about sharing and caring, it was completely bazaar, there wasn't anything much to say about it, until the chief of the buffalo and the sheriff of the town reviewed it. What they said made my prediction correct. It was awful and it did make things worse. Good job Pinkie Pie. Only Spike likes it. With the way she sings, how bad it is and how often she does it, I'm not surprised that the Ponyville musicians, Vinyl Scratch and Octavia, hadn't moved out of town yet to get some peace from the bad singing. But anyway, thanks to Pinkie Pie, the buffalo are going to stampede through the The town if the apple trees weren't moved.

It seemed that the Appaloosians weren't going reason, and neither were the buffalo. It looked like they were going to go to war and we saw that they were boarding up everything and making defence barriers. We also found out that their main defence for their "war" was... Apple pies... Well, we could see who was going to win this battle.

It was the next day, and it was also noon, the stampede had begun. Until the young buffalo, Strongheart, looked at the chief of the buffalo. He wasn't going to do it. Thank Celestia. Until Pinkie Pie started singing that song again and it filled the chief with rage and he started the stampede. Looks like Pinkie Pie ruined it again. The buffalo changed towards Appaloosa all because of Pinkie Pie. Appaloosa's main defence had gone and it was time for the pie's. Surprisingly, the apple pies actually worked. Somehow... I don't know how , but they did. Apple power! The chief saw the sheriff and went for him. But unfortunately the sheriff was out of ammo, or apple pies. The chief leaped for him, but luckily, one apple pie saves the sheriff as it hit the chief. He was down and everypony gathered round. Both sides cried as the chief lay still... But not dead. The chief tasted the apple pie and got up off the ground, he loved it. The chief then came up with a much better idea than a battle.

The buffalo decided to let the Appaloosians plant their apple trees as long as they create a small track for them to roam around so they had space to stampede on. But also if the Appaloosians have the buffalo a share of the apple pies that the chief loves so much.

That was pretty much it. I learned that even the worst of enemy's can become friends. Also what I loved about these few days, was that I didn't have to feel like writing anything bad about my friends in this entry because they didn't do anything stupid. Isn't that great?! Except for Pinkie Pie's bad singing of coarse. It almost made my ears bleed. What I also learned was that Spike obviously had a bad taste in music because he actually likes Pinkie Pie's singing! He's a strange dragon. I think he might have hit puberty at a very early age and is going through a stage of bad music.

A Bird In The Hoof

Dear diary,

Today was a special day. Princess Celestia was coming to Ponyville for a tea party in Sugar Cube Corner. Everything was going well, only one pony was missing, Fluttershy. But luckily, she turned up when I thought of her. She entered the building to enjoy the party, I think me and my friends deserve it because of what happened back at Appaloosa. Still haven't forgiven Pinkie Pie though. Fluttershy was late because she was taking care of a mouse. It was fine, everything was going fine, I was just extremely nervous. The reason that I was nervous was because it was the first time Princess Celestia had spent real time with us and I was despatate for her to have. Ago of impression of my friends. Unfortunately, it wasn't going to go well because of Rarity worrying about her dress all the time, she demanded that ponies stayed atleast three hoof lengths away from her, incase something happened to her dress. The way she was acting, you would think she was the Princess. Applejack was worrying about the food, she didn't know what to eat first. I didn't see how that was a huge problem. Pinkie Pie was the worst. She was being... Well... Pinkie Pie. First, she got obsessed with the chocolate fountain. She stuck her head in it and the chocolate then hardened, she munched through it like some crazy animal. What was even worse was that she rushed over to Princess Celestia and stole the cupcake that the Princess was about to eat. How rude can you get to a Princess?! It gave Mr and Mrs Cake a fright. They didn't want anything to go wrong eaither, they couldn't afford Pinkie Pie messing everything up. Princess Celestia addressed Fluttershy, she knew her quite well because of my letters. So Fluttershy wasn't any problem with Princess Celestia. But then, Fluttershy saw Princess Celestia's bird and she seemed to worry a bit. I didn't blame her, that thing looked like it was going to die any moment. The Princess has to go for an audience with the mayor, she left and everything was fine, no more of our friends messing everything up, but they still were acting out a bit, especially Pinkie Pie and Rarity.

Later on, I decided to go to Fluttershy's house to thank her for being the only one at the party that was sensible. I arrived and I was very happy with her, until I saw what she had done. She stole Princess Celestia's bucking bird. Not only that, something was wrong with it. I think she tried to stick tape onto it to keep it's feathers on or something. Either way, it looked like a monster. I thought Fluttershy cares for animals. Yes, she just wanted to help it, but, it's was Princess Celestia's pet. She would be worrying sick. Not very often that Fluttershy does something incredibly stupid, but this was going to be a fuck ton of work to take care of! We can't even let Princess Celestia know her pet has gone. It will be hard to do. Ugh! How stupid could she get!? We decided to put it in a basket to hide it and then take it back. But unfortunately, the royal guards were at Fluttershy's door looking for it. It was to late, they already noticed. We had to act like we noticed nothing. Then, the bird started coughing in the basket. So Fluttershy and I had to pretend that we had a really bad case of the flu. It wasn't even convincing, but somehow we got away with it. I managed to get the guards out of the house. We were unbelievably close to getting caught. Then, Fluttershy still tried to take the bird back. But we couldn't. Who knew what Princess Celestia would do if she found out that Fluttershy stole her pet. She might banish her! It's Princess Celestia's way of sorting things out all the time. Banishment. Just so it wouldn't cause much fuss. According to Flutter's, she tried everything to try and get the bird healthy again. So, we had no choice but to force the bird to eat the medicine. Fluttershy also said that the bird was coughing and stretching her feathers out. So I put a cone on her head. That problem was solved. She didn't like it but it had to be done for her to be healthy. The next thing to do was to get the bird to eat, but when I was about to feed it, it ran out the front door of the house and ran away, we ran after it.

We chased it all around town, we ended up with the rest if our friends and the royal guards who spotted the bird on the statue in the middle of the fountain we were next to. It coughed again and it's last feather fell out. It fell to it's death, or did it? No it didn't, because it burst into flames, and it was only ashes of the body that were left when it hit the ground. What I don't get is how a bird bursts into flames. Fluttershy caught it's ashes. The look on her face was amazing. She started to tear up in shock and disappointment. I think she deserved a scare like that for what she did, stealing a Princesses bird?! Stupid tree. What made that moment extremely bad for Fluttershy and myself was that Princess Celestia showed up. We were doomed. Soon, Fluttershy and I got into an argument with each other, trying to take the blame. In the end, Fluttershy took the blame. I can't believe what Fluttershy said. She said she deserved to be banished. I would love to hear Princess Celestia say, " very well." And banish her, to see the look on Fluttershy's face as those words backfired. We were then shocked when we saw a new bird come from the ashes. The bird was a Phenix. A bird that, when about to die, bursts into flames and it's new body comes from the ashes.

So luckily everything was fine in the end, as always. And I learned something about my tutor, Princess Celestia. I learned that she uses the near death's of Phenixes to torture it until it does and a new body is formed. Yeah, she totally cares for all animals, big or small.

Owls Well That Ends Well

Dear diary,

Tonight was the night of a meteor shower that only happened every one hundred years. It was an exiting night for me and Spike, my number one ~~slave~~ assistant. I asked him to pack and get a book for me. He packed but said the book was missing, but he was still number one.

Spike and I went up a hill to meet with our friends who also came for the meteor shower. Spike laid out the picnic like he normally would, everypony thanked him. Everypony seemed to be very obsessed with Spike that night. He seemed to be getting gifts and hugs and he seemed to be trying to get more by asking me for things. Greedy, little, undersized douche bag. Sweetie Belle pointed out that the show was starting and everypony rushed over to the top of the hill we were on. It was amazing, the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Soon, the starry show was over and everypony finally sat down to eat the picnic, we wanted some punch, but Spike fell asleep in the bowl, he looked so cute, and he hadn't caused any problems lately, which is why I loved him those past few days

I went back to the tree house after it got very late, I had to carry Spike home as well. When I arrived, I put him to bed and continued my studies on meteors. I started hearing noises outside. I went out on the balcony to check, but there was nothing. I ignored it and went back to my studies. But it happened again, the same noise. I went back out to check again. Still nothing. A gust if wind came from the sky and went through the door, it blew my studies through the window on the other side of the room. I thought I had lost it. It was a job for Spike, but he wasn't awake. Suddenly, a cooing sound came form my window. It was an owl who had retrieved my studies that had blew away. It seemed afraid of me and was about to fly away. But I stopped it, it also seemed to be afraid of the cold outside, so I invited it in to keep me company while I finished my studies. It was so adorable, it beat the adorable scale of Spike sleeping by a long shot.

The next day, Spike over slept. He was panicking that I might be upset, but I wasn't. I knew he had a rough night because he stayed up that long and Owlicious already done them for him. He didn't know who he was, so I explained he was a new junior assistant. He started to freak out and didn't like the idea of a new assistant, I also explained he was just here to help out a little after he decided to stay last night. I told him to go introduce himself to Owlicious.

Later on, I decided to introduce Owlicious to my friends. They all loved him, he was so cute. To adorable for words. Everypony thought the same. Except for Spike, who started to mutter under his breath. Rarity made Owlicious a bow tie. Then, for some reason, Spike started to get a but upset and storm back inside with rage. I wondered what was wrong with him. My friends suggested that he felt threatened by Owlicious, because he might replace him. I doubted it, Spike knew he couldn't be replaced. I went back inside and asked Spike to get me a book, but Owlicious already got it for me, he was very fast and could help Spike be a better assistant along with Owlicious. My last writing quill broke, Spike suddenly went all hype and rushed around to find one, we didn't have another one in the tree house, so he rushed off to get one. I asked him to wait, but for some reason wouldn't stop. I started to think what my friends said about Spike feeling threatened was true.

Spike returned a few hours later with a chicken feather, I don't know how that would help me write. But it didn't matter, I explained to him that Owlicious have me one of his feathers to write with. He got angry after that. I now knew that he did feel threatened by Owlicious, but I knew he would come around. I know he was a good guy. He fell asleep like a cute little dragon.

I found the book I wanted before the meteor shower. Owlicious found it and it was burnt. By fire. That came from a dragon. He wasn't much of a number one assistant anymore. I slammed the book on the floor and woke him up to ask him how it got this way. He was nervous to tell me. He replied with, "Have you ever seen a dragon sneeze?" I was very disappointed in him. This was one of the worst things he had done.

I returned later to see the little fuck placing a toy mouse, that was meant to be a real one, on the floor, covering it with tomato sauce, to look like blood, and then make it look like Owlicious done it. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! This was one of the most gruesome things he has ever done. This was a new low for him, and after I even saw him do it, and he knew I saw him, he still tried to play it off. I shouted at him, and it was the first time I had ever spoken my true feelings about him that weren't in this diary. Disgusting behaviour from a seemingly harmless baby dragon.

Later on, I found that Spike was missing, luckily his claws were covered into tomato sauce so I could follow him. I followed them to a cave in the forest. He was being attacked by another dragon. I waves at him to get his attention, to help him find the way out. I don't know why I wanted him to escape after what's he did. He jumped on my back and Owlicious flew with us to escape. It was too dark, I couldn't see, but thanks to Owlicious, he lead us out because owls could see in the dark. Spike explained to me why he ran away. He thought I didn't live him anymore. I told him that I would always love him, even when he was being a jealous turd and no pony could replace him.

P.s. Spike here. I've decided not to cross out the bad things that Twilight says about me in her diary, I think I shouldn't because it sort of ruins it, but it also shows you what a bitch she can be. Proven by what she's said in the past.

Party Of One

Dear diary,

Today I was studying again, when I was interrupted by Pinkie Pie who was at my door, singing... God dammit! She was singing about my invitation to Gummy's birthday. I don't know why she couldn't of just have me the invitation, but oh well, just don't like her singing.

I went to the birthday party with the rest of my friends, obviously a good party, mainly because it was thrown by Pinkie Pie! The only thing that I thought was weird was that Gummy was in the punch and Pinkie Pie still thought it was ok to drink. Disgusting and creepy. Pinkie Pie was a good host, she managed to take care of everything to everypony's expections. Making sure we had tonnes of fun, which we were, until she slammed me into the wall like a visious bitch so she could dance, I could of broken bones, again. I always seem to get a bone broken when around her. I managed to recover. When the party was over, she asked us to stay longer, but I couldn't, I had things to do and there was a slight chance that Spike had ate Owlicious by now.

The next day, at the crack of dawn, Pinkie Pie was knocking at my door to invite me to Gummy's after birthday party. I couldn't believe it. Who has an after birthday party, I still had a hangover from the night before. But I couldn't go, and I think Pinkie Pie forgot what special day it was for her. It was her birthday. So because me and my friends were planning a party, I had to lie and say I had studies to catch up on.

Later on, I had to sneek out to Sugar Cube Corner, which was risky, since Pinkie Pie lived there. I went in and met Mrs Cake inside to collect Pinkie Pie's birthday cake. I got it and left as quick as I could. I rushed to Rarity's house to drop the cake off. I was pretty sure I wasn't followed.

Later in the day, everything was set, now all we needed with the things that Rainbow Dash had. Unfortunately, Pinkie Pie had spotted her and was chasing after her as she came closer to the barn. Rainbow Dash flew in and Applejack closed the doors. But Pinkie Pie knew we were in there. Applejack opened the door slightly to talk to her and use excuses. She asked a lot, once, we needed to make construction noises, embarrising, but it served it's purpose. We managed to get her away, but she was still suspicious.

Even later after Rainbow Dash, according to her, had to drag her accos Ponyville because she wouldn't come with her, we gave Pinkie Pie the suprise birthday party, and we found out quite a few things. Shecwas very angry because she thought it was a farewell party. It turns out that she forgot her own birthday. What a baffoon. We had to point out that it wasn't a farewell party and actually was a birthday party. As soon as she figures it out, it was all good from there. I still can't believe that she was so caught up of being suspicious of us that she forgot her own birthday, and I heard Rainbow Dash say something about a bucket of turnips. I wonder what Rainbow Dash saw.

I discovered two sides of Pinkie Pie, both are chaotic. The good side, all happy and party like and very entertaining. And the bad side, all grumpy and creepy. If you go near the bad side of her, you will discover that there is a chance that you might die...

The Best Night Ever

Dear diary,

Today was the night of the Grand Galloping Gala, everypony was exited, even Spike with his cute little tuxedo on. I was studying a new spell at the time which was used to get us to the Gala. I took an apple and transformed it into a carriage, I took a few mice and transformed them into horses, unfortunately, the horses ran away because of Rarity's can scratching them. I hate that cat. Sometimes I think it needs to be put to sleep. It's an angry cat and has caused commotion between me and my friends, not as much as Spike though, maybe we should put him down instead. We didn't know what to do. Until, Rarity used her special charm to persuade a few ponies to pull our carriage instead.

Not long after, we washed and dried our manes and rushed off to the carriage, with Spike and the two ponies pulling, we would be there in no time at all. While we were in the carriage, we got dressed into our dresses that Rarity made us a few weeks back.

We finally arrived at the Gala. I couldn't believe we were there, it was going to be the best night ever. The one thing I wanted to do was spend my time with the Princess, to talk about what I learned at Ponyville ever since she sent me to live there. Talking about magic and friendship. What better thing could there be. Other ponies wanted to do there own thing, so we rushed of to our own areas to do so. I rushed off to find Princess Celestia, and what luck, she wanted to do the same thing as I did, talk! She wanted me by her side the whole time. Brilliant!

Everything was going as well as inspected, until the Gala got crowded and everypony wanted to meet Princess Celestia. I don't blame them, not everypony has the privilege of being her faithful student like me.

Later on, it seemed to get worse and worse. It was getting more crowded by the minute, to crowded if you ask me. It wasn't at all what I had hoped to do this night. But I had been waiting a long time for this once in a lifetime moment to happen and I wasn't going to let it get away from me. If it could be the best night ever on it's own, then I'd make it the best night ever myself. I decided that it shouldn't be just the Princess who interacts with ponies, I should do it to so I wasn't an outcast. I became someone noticeable with Princess Celestia for once. I don't know what it is, the ponies, or Princess Celestia. The ponies want to meet the Princess. Or does she just set this whole Gala up and invite ponies so she can make sure she's still loved. Princess Celestia can be a greedy bitch sometimes and it's not often I say that about one of my favourite ponies to see.

After all of the meetings with the ponies of Canterlot, me and Princess Celestia decided to go to the throne room, which was made into a party room for the Gala for one night. We entered and discovered that the whole place was destroyed. I thought nothing could get worse, but I was wrong. Fluttershy came in screaming because the animals wouldn't love her. Everypony ran. I didn't know why they ran or what they were afraid of, the animals or the mentally insane Fluttershy. Princess Celestia told us to run. Probably the best thing she'd said to me all night. Run from this nightmare.

Me and my friends ran to the donut shop where Spike was hanging out. He asked how the best night ever was. We explained what happened and Spike was right, it was the worst night ever. I just hoped that Princess Celestia wasn't mad at us for destroying the throne room. Speaking of the devil, she walked in happy for some reason. She said it was the best Galloping Gala ever! I didn't understand until she explained. She said the Gala was always awful. (Then why put it on if it was so bad.) And she wanted us to lighten it up a bit, which we did, a lot.

I learned that friends can make bad situations funny and chaotic, which is what we did tonight. It was the best night ever after all. Kind of a twist. Instead of it being Spike being a turd and messing things up, it was my friends foe once. I hope that doesn't stick. Although Ponyville can be boring sometimes. Sometimes I think we need somepony to create a bit of chaos to make the town not as boring and a bit entertaining.

The Return Of Harmony

Dear diary,

It's been a crazy few days, one of the most crazy days I've ever had in my entire life. When the issues first started happening, I woke up with cotton candy clouds, chocolate milk rain, bunnies with horse hooves, giant apples on tiny apple trees and popcorn popping from corn from the ground. Sounds like Spike's food dream. I went to find my friends, who were luckily all in one place, Sweet Apple Ares. I went over with Spike using a new spell I learned to fix everything. When I produced the spell, it created one of the biggest blasts of magic I had ever created, and yet it did fuck all. Everything was still chaotic. My "fail safe spell failed." Brilliant. How could an intelligent pony like me fail a fail safe spell? I went ahead with plan B. I told Rainbow Dash to rally up all of the cotton candy clouds. Unfortunately, I had to ruin Pinkie Pie's fun with the chocolate rain, it was for her benefit. She would have gotten fat as fast as Rainbow Dash flies if she kept drinking it. She was also rolling around in it on the ground. Strange isn't the word. I then asked Applejack to bring the clouds down to earth with her rope and her skills with it. I asked Fluttershy to taunt the animals with the clouds so they would come and eat them. Pinkie Pie was pushed aside by the animals when they tried to get the clouds. After we solved the problem as best we could, Spike burped out a letter with his disgusting method of transporting mail. Why did Princess Celestia choose that as his method of transporting mail? There are so many things wrong with it. One, it's disturbing. Two, it's disgusting. Three, that's my mail that's coming through with his bad breath. Four, I need to touch that. But there is one advantage, it's quicker and more officiant than the first class mail. Back on the subject, the letter was about Princess Celestia wanting us at Canterlot right away.

We arrived at Canterlot as fast as we could. She called us here for great importance. Apparently. Somepony who she thought she defeated long ago had returned, named Discord. I learned that he once ruled over Equestria with endless chaos before Celestia and Luna stopped him with the elements of harmony and turning him to stone. A bit harsh, I know what it feels like to be turned to stone because of that stupid Cockatrice. The only reason that we had to stop him again was because we help the elements of harmony now. So we were the only ones to stop him. In other words, Celestia thought it was too much of a job and had a hoof shining appointment at the spa that she couldn't miss for anything. We said we would stop Discord, but Pinkie Pie objected. Why? She preferred eternal chaos because it had chocolate rain. Celestia opened the case that help the elements inside, but they were empty. My first suspect of their disappearance was Pinkie Pie. She might of used her physics breaking personality to steal them so she could have chocolate rain. But then I heard an evil laugh, I then remembered Discord and for the first time ever, I saw Discord. He was being weird and insulting Princess Celestia through stained glass. Of coarse, Rainbow Dash shows her loyalty by defending the princess and flying at him... She didn't think it through because Discord was in stained glass. She ended up smashing her face, not the glass, into the glass. Rarity was the first to point out what we were doing. Talking to a window. He seemed to know who we were and our strengths. Celestia spoke up saying that Discord was stalling. I couldn't agree more. Celestia wanted to know where the elements were, so Discord spilled the beans. But in a riddle. Great! As if it wasn't confusing enough seeing him. The riddle was:

Twists and turns are my master plan, then find the elements back where you began.

Everypony immediately started thinking about what he meant. Twist and turns... The only place I could think of with those words was the palace labyrinth. The only other thing I could think of that had twists and turns was Dashie's sexuality! I wonder if that was too far... Anyway, we went to the labyrinth to get the elements of harmony while Princess Celestia went to the spa. By the way. I always wondered what Princess Celestia did during every time we have a crisis. The other thing is that I have noticed Discord and Pinkie Pie are similar in some ways. Both can break the laws of physics and both have chaotic personalities. It's like Pinkie Pie is a friendly Discord.

We reached the labyrinth where our wings and horns suddenly disappeared. We became exactly like Pinkie Pie and Applejack, without wings or horns, we were about to find out how boring their lives were since they had no magical or flying talents. There was no doubt who was the culprit. Discord appeared at the entrance of the labyrinth, and finally we saw his true form. He honestly looked like a sausage that had been badly rolled out into a sausage shape. You could turn his body into a pretzel because of how long he was. According to him, the so called "rules" were no flying and no magic. Obviously, he thought it was a game. Really childish. Another comparison to Pinkie Pie. If they were broken, the game would be over and the sausage would win. We thought we would be doing this together, that was until Discord used hedges to split us up. I only knew him for five minutes and the amount hate I had for him was already extreme.

I was in the labyrinth for a while and found nopony. That was until one of the hedges opened up and I saw Applejack. I swear I heard her talking to somepony, but according to her, she was talking to nopony. I thought she was lying at first, but then I thought about it. She was the element of honesty, she wouldn't lie! She may have nothing special about her being an earth pony and all, but at least she's honest. But Applejack's fur coat was darker than usual.

The next friend I met in the labyrinth was Pinkie Pie, for some reason a lot of balloons were in the labyrinth and they were randomly bursting. I spoke to Pinkie, but she seemed really obnoxious and unhappy. Her coat was also darker than usual. The only three reasons I thought she could ever be unhappy were because of Discord, the balloons popped, or that she remembered that when we stop the sausage, there would be no more chocolate rain.

The third friend I met in the labyrinth was Rarity, after a giant stone wall came crashing down we saw her carrying a giant boulder which she insisted was a diamond. I noticed her coat had a darker tone to it as well. She was also being obnoxious by shouting at me, warning me to stay away from the diamond because she found it, and nopony was aloud to touch it. I noticed a huge absence of generosity during that moment. I was starting to put together in my mind that Discord was causing their personalities to change.

The forth pony I met in the labyrinth was Fluttershy, the hedge came down and I saw her sitting down. I tried to explain that something was wrong with everypony because she would be to kind to change, but then I saw she had a darker tone also, she turned round and became a total whore towards me. An utter bitch! It turns out all of my friends were acting the opposite of what they normally would. Celestia knows how Rainbow Dash would act. Everypony was pushing each other around, obnoxiously and Rarity was threatening me not to touch her rock because she knows where I live. It became really awkward and creepy really fast.

Later on, after I was dumped with Rarity's rock and searching for Rainbow Dash, we saw her flying away with her wings, because of her, we lost the game and weren't going to get the elements. All of the hedges came crashing down leaving us in a giant field of dirt. Discord appeared and started laughing saying we lost the game and eternal chaos was coming to Equestria. Pretty soon none of my friends cared that we lost and they all started fighting with each other. Their friendships between each other crumbling around them because of childish arguments. It was like Rarity's pathetic arguments over shoes. Chick flicks, I believe they're called. Discord approached, to make matters worse I presume. Started laughing again because it turns out, they weren't even in the labyrinth! CELESTIA FUCKING DAMN-IT! Starting to loose my temper. Pissing me off until I felt like erupting like a volcano. The chocolate rain came back and I needed to come up with a new place where the elements could be, while being around my annoying discorded friends. I wanted to go home. But then I thought. Home! Back where you began would be home in Ponyville which was at the moment a chaotic mess with floating buildings and patch patterned grounds and chocolate rain with pink cotton candy clouds. I was walking when I got trampled on by Angel and his friends. Bitchy Fluttershy praised him for doing that. I didn't know how much longer I could cope. Just as I thought that, Discord started messing with the sky and turned the dirt roads into soap. Fucking amazing! It was really bad and according to Discord, this was only the first changes. I knew if he won, it would be the strangest victory ever and the land would be even stranger. He wanted Ponyville to be chaos capital of the world! But really, I've lived here a few months or so, and when is it not chaotic? We had the winter wrap up problem, Nightmare Moon, the hydra. It seems that it's already the chaos capital and all Discord has done is add patterns to it!

My so called "friends" and I finally reached my library. I had to beg for my friends to go inside, they were getting that bad that I needed to beg them to do it like you're begging a troublesome five year old to get off his lazy plot and do a simple task. Not only that, but they seemed to be getting darker, almost totally grey. The worst out of all of them when I had to beg them inside was Rarity. She still thought the rock was a diamond she still thought I wanted to steal it. Not only that, she got attached to it and called it Tom. So she isn't generous anymore and is now bat shit insane. She wasn't going in without the rock so I had to carry it in. If I kept carrying her rock, I would break my spine. That thing weighed more than Celestia's fat plot. I had to throw it into the library because it couldn't fit through the door, creating a huge hole in the wall. Fluttershy soaked me and Spike and Applejack said that no pony liked Spike, one, everypony was getting worse by the second, two, Applejack wasn't wrong... Spike didn't deserve what I just wrote. He didn't to anything wrong for once. Anyway, I had to find the book with the elements of harmony in, since that's where I kept them, in a book, in my library where I began. Spike found the book like a good little assistant. Until Flutterbitch stole it from him. Everypony kept bouncing it around the room so I couldn't get it, and now even I started to go bat shit insane. Seriously, I did. I ended up having a huge fight over the book. With hooves. Everypony was just lucky to get out alive, because everypony knows that if you steal my book, you have a eighty five percent chance of being killed by me. On the positive side, I did get the book back. I opened it and I was right, the elements were in the library, where I began all along! I was so happy and so was Spike. Just the rest of my friends couldn't give a shit. It's like they wanted the world to be ruled by chaos. I had to force the elements onto them. There was just one problem. We didn't have Rainbow Dash. But at that moment, I didn't care and I was to pissed to worry about anything that we didn't need. Why? Because I made Spike the new Rainbow Dash. We didn't need her. I had to persuade everypony to help by saying that we wouldn't talk to each other ever again if we did this, when I said that they were all happy to hear it. Everypony but Rarity who wouldn't leave without ~~Tom~~ the rock. I had to destroy another part of my house, just to get a rock in.

We all moved outside where we saw Discord again, praising us that we found the elements of harmony. I thought he didn't know that we could defeat him with these, but oh well, the sooner he was gone, the better! We got into our formation, ready to fire. But it didn't work. I was starting to get sick and tired of things being misplaced and not working, I was about to scream like Rarity if somepony took Tom away. Discord was still here, everypony was still moody and Flutterwhore was still acting up. Discord left and everypony just quit. Walked away. Our friendships were finally destroyed and about time too. I noticed that I was grey as well. It effected me and I knew that no matter how much I denied it, I did still care about my friends.

I walked home alone. I knew Discord was teasing me about my break up with my friends, because he was making sure that the cotton candy cloud was staying directly over me, raining down chocolate rain. Then the bastard appeared, laughing about it. I didn't want to turn him back to stone, I wanted to kill him for what he had done to me, my friends, Princess Celestia and the world. He tried to entertain me by showing me the chaos he was causing, but it sounded more like teasing. When I left him, I heard him laughing about me having no friends, because he thought that he split us up and we couldn't use the elements on him anymore.

I went back to the upper floor of the library, instructed Spike to pack his things because we were leaving Ponyville. But he couldn't move because Princess Celestia had been sending back all of my friendship reports. What the fuck was she thinking? Sending back dozens of friendship reports one by one! Did she even realize how much pain she was causing Spike to go through?! I picked them up and read them one after the other, while reading them, I was reflecting on all of the memories I had with my friends, seeing all of the brilliant times I had, comparing the fun I had in Canterlot, when I had no friends, to when I had friends in Ponyville. How my life changed rapidly. It was amazing. I snapped back into reality, and again I realized that I was no longer grey, I had color in my life once more! I finally figured it out! Discord was only doing one thing this whole time! Distracting us from our friendships because he knew how powerful they were, and as a team, we would be able to kick his brown, furry ass!

First stop was Sweet Apple Acres! Where Big Macintosh was acting like a dog... Yeah... Anyway I came to see Applejack to fright for our friendship. I pinned her down and used my magic to perform a spell that made her see all of the good times we had as friends to bring the color back in her life! She was everything, her true self, and she was pretty much her true self in reality too. Since I knew the spell worked, it was time to stop a freaky being of chaos. I managed to do what I did to Applejack to the rest of my friends, the only problem now was Rainbow Dash.

Me and my four un-discorded friends went over to Rainbow Dash's house, but she wasn't there. I knew, without her, we couldn't use the elements. We had no clue where she could be, but thanks to Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie, we were able to find her in seconds. She wouldn't come and help us. She wanted to stay in a small patch of clouds that she liked to call Cloudsdale. We needed a plan B.

Our plan was to get a hot air balloon, so everypony could be up in the air while we done plan B. Fluttershy to tie Rainbow Dash down with a rope, pinning her down against her will while I done the spell to make her remember. But Flutterfuck fucked it up by waking her up and telling her the whole plan. Fuck! She flew away. We got Fluttershy to hold a rope and drag the hot ir balloon with her while she chased after her.

After all of that trouble, we managed to catch her and bring her back to the ground. She was kicking and screaming the whole time though. But we managed to use the spell on her and remind her of the good memories, again, bringing the color back into another one of my friends life.

So we managed to get everypony back and smiling, trying to ignore the dancing buffalo around us while we were trying to hug. That was a hard thing to do.

We went straight to Discord to end him, putting him in his stone prison. He was very confident that the elements wouldn't work. But pretty soon, he wouldn't doubt us again. He tried to stop us by taking the elements away from us, but I stopped him before he could. His fate was pretty much sealed. We were about to perform our clever trick to stop him, but Pinkie Pie demanded that we delayed Discord's defeat because she wanted some more chocolate milk. When she was satisfied, she came back to us to perform the work of the elements of harmony. We activated our elements and as soon as the giant rainbow was produced, that's when he realized that it was all over. That's when he learned that, in the land of peace and harmony, being an itch, makes you the elements bitch! *Insert epic music here!* But seriously, that was a pretty epic moment when I turned Discord back into stone. We also used the elements of harmony to refresh the land and bring it back to it's normal state.

The next day we were invited to Canterlot to attend a ceremony that was organised by Princess Celestia that was based around us. We were rewarded for stopping Discord and saving Equestria from eternal chaos. A new stained glass decoration was made, showing that me and my friends used the elements of harmony to stop Discord. We were famous for the second time. I wonder how long it would be before we had to start signing autographs. Oh, and remember what I said about Discord being turned to stone, being a harsh punishment? Yeah well, now that I've seen what Discord can do, it's actually very nice compared to what other things we could do as a punishment. Dear Celestia I hate him!

So... Yeah! It was a pretty crazy few days, I wasn't expecting that to be our next event after the Grand Galloping Gala. It was quite exhausting, what we did. If we didn't stop him, I think my heart might of broke because of everything I love would have been destroyed forever. But Discord was the closest thing to break me and my friends apart, and in the end, he failed as well. If he can't, then nothing can, and that is the power of friendship. Now the only thing that needed to be done is for Princess Celestia to say sorry to Spike for putting him through so much pain when sending back all the friendship reports. If she didn't, but she did because she's nice, we still had the elements at the time, we could turn her to stone too for torturing a baby dragon. But she did say sorry, but nopony tempt me to do it because I wouldn't mind being the ruler of Equestria. Ha, I'm joking. Hopefully I will never need to encounter Discord again...

Author's Note

Long entry! I think I'm going to make Twilight a bit more aggressive because this is where things start to go a bit more insane with Twilight and her friends. Discord was probably the worst. This is also the part where Celestia becomes a bit more annoying as a Princess, so that's another thing I might think about. Anyway, The Diary Of Twilight Sparkle is now onto season two entries!

Lesson Zero

Dear diary,

Today was very basic. It was just a day where I had tonnes of free time on my hooves, so I decided to spend it reorganizing myself with Spike. That included completing old check lists and creating new ones. I don't do much on my free time, except reorganizing, hanging with friends and writing this diary. I created a new checklist for the whole day just to pass time.

Later, I went with Spike to do the jobs I had on the checklist, we had done must of them already, that's when I knew the day was getting boring. The next thing on the list was the thing that made Spikes eyes glow! The next thing was cupcakes!

We reached Sugar Cube Corner to collect the cupcakes. I had to make sure they were spotless, the incing was mixing together with the other cupcakes, so Mrs Cake was nice enough to take them back to fix, she was also nice enough to give me double than I ordered. That's still more daily generosity than Rarity. When she brought them back, I still wasn't convinced about the icing, she obviously didn't care much for quality. I had to fix them myself. When I was done, all of the cupcakes had the same amount of icing on, not much on any of them, but at least they all had the same.

We got back home to triple check the checklist when Spike reminded me, I forgot to write Princess Celestia a friendship report! The term "fucked" would be a good one to use if I didn't send her one. I had to rush round the library for a calender. I was supposed to send the princess one every week, I sent one last Tuesday and today was Tuesday. If I didn't find a friendship problem that I could base my friendship report on, I would be... LATE! If I didn't do this, Princess Celestia might not of ever forgiven me! Yeah! There's no way I was over thinking this. But whatever, I had to find a friendship problem! So, to hopefully get this done quickly, I asked Spike if he had any problems with friendship. He said no. But what do you expect from somepony who hasn't got any? Anyway, I had to find a friend who did.

I ran outside to think of one of my friends who might have a friendship problem, then I got it. Rarity! She's always having problems with friendship because she keeps being an utter bitch to them! She must have one. I burst through her door to hear her crying because she had lost her diamond necklace. I was so happy about that situation, because I could help her find it and use it in my friendship report. That was until she found it... I hate her so much.

The next friend I tried was Applejack. I went over to Sweet Apple Ares to ask her if she had any problems and just by approaching the grounds of the farm I could see the problem. It was Rainbow Dash destroying Applejack's barn! I saw this as my chance! I approached her to try an calm her down by telling her it was ok and that she didn't need to hide her feelings about Applejack that made her want to destroy her barn. It turns out that Applejack wanted her to demolish the barn and risk the lives around the barn because of flying wood. So this was yet another failure towards finding a friendship problem. Why can't any of my friends just try to murder each other so I could sort it out while they healed their injuries?! I would gladly sacrifice one of my friends lives so I wouldn't be late for the princess! The next thing I knew was I was stuck under cart loads of the barns remains and dirt. I now had a ruined mane. This was a great day... I'm now being harmed by my friends.

The next pony I was going to see was Fluttershy! She always had a problem about something. I was going to ask her if she had any problems until I saw her murder a bear. That's right. M-U-R-D-E-R! I left as quickly as I could.

Later on, Spike found me talking to myself and reminded me of the picnic, I took the cupcakes and ran to the meeting point as fast as I could. When I reached my friends, I told them about the problem that my life depends on, none of them seemed to understand! They also seemed a bit scared. I left the picnic to go back to my library to find other ways to find a friendship problem. Then I came up with the best idea ever. I should make a friendship problem.

I have to admit that from that point on wards, I didn't remember a thing. But according to my friends that told me after I came back to sanity, I went insane, assaulted the Cutie Mark Crusaders, use my magic to turn my favorite fillyhood doll into something everypony couldn't resist, caused chaos around the town by making everypony fight over it. They said that I didn't finish me friendship report, but Princess Celestia did realize the trouble I was causing and used her magic to stop it. She told me off for creating chaos. They told me some good news though. They said that Princess Celestia said that I only needed to send her a friendship report when I learned something, not every week and now, all my friends need to send her friendship reports when they learn something too. But there's one thing I don't like about Celestia, she want's you do to your best, but she puts to much pressure on you and it causes you to go insane and make everypony want to do "the naughty" with your fillyhood doll.

So it wasn't a bad day, really. Yes, I did loose my doll to Big Macintosh. Yes, I did scare all of my friends. But at least everything is ok now and I don't need to do as much work as a student of our cake munching princess. Honestly, even though I'm not going to be doing my friendship reports as much as before, I bet I'm still going to do more than her. What does that white bitch do all day everyday anyway? For all I know, she just sits on her throne... I hate her so much sometimes. But I still like her as a princess as long as she doesn't mess with the main things in my life just because she's a princess. Anyway, lesson learned. Don't try and make your friends fight just for your own reasons.

Luna Eclipse

Dear diary,

As we all know, Nightmare Night is a tradition in Equestria for the foals to enjoy. When ponies grow older, they grow out of it and Nightmare Night is no longer for them. But thanks to my idiotic friends, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, they have shown me (The hard way while I was doing something EXTREMELY serious!) that as long as you are a grown mare or stallion who acts like a foal, that doesn't mean dragon shit. What extremely serious thing was I desperately trying to do without those two pudding brains butting in? It was something that they chose the worst time to do their mischievous pranks on. But I'll get to that later. Unlike the rest of my silly adventures that I report my true feelings about into this diary, this escapade was at night.

The night started with me rushing around my bedroom, trying to put on my Star Swirl the Bearded costume as quickly and as carefully as I could, while the little inpatient purple penis I call a friend was moaning because we were late for Nightmare Night. Ugh. We were only five minutes late for Celestia's sake! He was just paranoid that he would miss out on all the candy. Spike should really lay off the candy, he already had seven large packets of jelly babies earlier that day. That dragon is putting on weight faster than Mrs Cake.

I finally trotted down stairs, making sure my costume was presentable, hoping Spike would acknowledge the detail and, of course, who the costume was meant to be. I reached the bottom pf the staircase. Unfortunately, he didn't acknowledge the detail and he didn't know who I was meant to be either. For some unknown reason, he thought I was dressed as a grumpy old pony in Ponyville retirement home. I didn't understand that. Why would I dress up as some random pony that nopony really knows, and another thing. I study Star Swirl all of the time. Most of the time I read out loud anyway, so there is no way he couldn't have picked up nothing. Is he really that bad of a listener. Oh no! Put his costume is "perfect!" You know what his costume was? A purple dragon. Not kidding. That's as far as his imagination goes. He has lived with me all of his life and he doesn't listen to me nor has his imagination expanded. I might get him tested after Nightmare Night. He isn't normal in the head. That stunt with the dead toy mouse and the ketchup as blood proves it. He could see the anger on my face, so when a knock came from the door, he used it for his advantage to get away from me.

When he opened the door, his plan backfired. Yes, he did get away from me, but he did get scared, so it wasn't really worth it. I kept my laughter inside, but it became harder to hold in the laughter when I approached the door to see what he had been scared by. It seems that I now know that apparently Spike is scared of Princesses, (Shame that he lives with a pony that regularly meets with them.) Astronauts and Lady Bugs. I greeted everypony and gave them a piece of candy each. They were happy with that one peace of candy. I thought of turning to Spike and saying, "See Spike, they're happy with one peace." But I thought I'd rather not because he was already angry about the "scare" he was given. I also saw Granny Smith, who was following the little fillies to make sure they were alright. She wasn't wearing a scary costume. Mainly because she didn't need one for the amount of scary wrinkles on her face. It will forever haunt my nightmares. But they were long wrinkles on her face. I started to wonder if she started shaking drastically when she was angry. An image of her shaking when she was shouting at Apple Bloom angrily came into thought, as she shook her head in anger, the wrinkles spinning and launching around her face like a spinning blade, soon going round fast enough that she could be lifted into the air with them. Strange thought. But weirdly funny. Maybe my mind needed to be tested as well.

A small colt popped out from behind the three fillies dressed as a pirate. Even the youngest of ponies had a better imagination as Spike. It was adorable, but the adorableness was disturbed by a squealing Pinkie Pie who pooped up from the ground dressed as a chicken, telling everyone to zip it. This is when I brought her age into it. I asked her if she was to old for this. She replied that you are never to old for free candy. I didn't get it. She get's free candy all of the time. She lives and works in a candy goods store. Anyway, after that, I showed her my costume, she loved it!.. But then thought I was a weirdo clown. Great! So now I'm a grumpy old pony and a weirdo clown too. No pony in this town knows anything about unicorn magic history. No wonder ponies in Canterlot see Ponyville as a place where the "unintelligent" ponies lived. Spike and I left the library with the chicken.

When Pinkie Pie vanished, I went on a rant about how my costume was hoof stitched. Spike then thought it was a great costume. That comment gave a smile to my face... That was until he called me "Gram-pa." Then that evil voice at the back of my head started shouting. Sometime tonight, I hoped that he would be scared and his body would go into shock.

Later on, on the way to the center of Ponyville where the Nightmare Night party was, I went on another rant about how nopony knew who Star Swirl the Bearded was. That was interrupted when Pinkie Pie returned, showing me all the candy that she had gotten. For some reason she ate like a chicken while in the costume too. Pecking, pecking and pecking at the sack of candy. She really was a filly in a mare's body. Even though she was a good friend, I wish I could get away from her sometimes.

Strangely, my wish was about to come true, thank's to Rainbow Dash who was dressed as a Shadowbolt. I didn't notice, but she brought a storm cloud over above Pinkie Pie and kicked it. This caused lightning to come and scare Pinkie Pie who ran away, screaming like she was going to lay an egg herself. Unintentionally, she done me another favor that I wanted to do. Scare Spike. Turns out, Rainbow Dash put Spike into shock. He fell over, lay on the ground, dropping all of his candy. All that time collecting it for nothing. Well, at least he can't eat it now and gain weight. I turned back to Rainbow Dash to tell her off for doing something mean. But she replied with, "This is the best night of the year for pranks!" Ugh. I could tell this would be a fun night.

Anyway, when Spike the Dragon, the so called fearsome fire breathing creature who was scared by ladybugs and Rainbow Dash, recovered, we went to see Applejack who was dressed as a scarecrow. I couldn't believe that she was so cheap sometimes that she made her costume out of table cloths and straw from Sweet Apple Acres. She polity said hello and complemented my costume, but for some reason, Spike thought she was complimenting his. Has he not gotten the message that his costume sucks because he's basically dressed as himself. I was hoping that she would know who I was dressed as, but what was I thinking. She's Applejack, not the smartest pony in Equestria. She thought I was a country music singer. So I was apparently a grumpy pony from Ponyville retirement home, a weirdo clown and a county music singer. What the buck is wrong with some ponies. I swear, all of the ponies (and Dragon) with low intelligence just become attracted to me and become my friends.

We got distracted in our conversation with Applejack when behind us, on the stage, was the mayor of Ponyville, hosting the Nightmare Night festival. She was dressed as a clown. How am I the weirdo clown and she's not. The mayor is weird even without the costume. She announced that we were going to follow Zecora into the forest to hear the story of Nightmare Moon. As she announced it, she tried to do a scary voice. Spike was thinking the same thing. The rainbow wig kills the scares. I couldn't help but giggle at that remark. Zecora appeared in green smoke, talking while she spoke in those weird rhymes again.

She took us into the Everfree Forest, to an old statue of Nightmare Moon. She started to tell the story and blew up some magic green dust into the air that formed an image of Nightmare Moon. This image came flying down with it's mouth wide open, to make it look like it was coming down to eat us. It was a brilliant trick, but as you could guess, Spike got scared. Ha, add that to the list of harmless stuff that the fearsome Dragon is scared of! The story went on to say that the only reason that we have Nightmare Night is because we need to dress up and gather candy, only to give some to Nightmare Moon, and if we don't, she'l come to eat us instead. It was a bit gruesome for a foals scary story. It seemed that Pinkie Pie was more scared than Spike. She ran up to the statue and gave it all of her candy. Apparently she believed it. It was confirmed. She defiantly was a filly in a mares body.

I was about to laugh at her, but then worry hit my face as a blinding light came from the center of a vortex of clouds. A carriage that was being pulled by two Pegusi come gliding down. Somepony was in the carriage. It flew over our heads and stopped in mid-air behind us. Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie screamed in terror, shouting that It was Nightmare Moon. Convincing Zecora and the rest of the foals, they ran away with her. Once they ran out of the Everfree Forest, still screaming, I decided to follow as the carriage headed for the center of Ponyville.

When I arrived, the pony inside jumped down with a thud and lowered her hood. Everypony was bowing and cowering in total fear. This was becoming an everyday thing in Ponyville, something weird and scary is always happening. I'm surprised nopony has left town yet. I went to go greet her, I was quite happy to see her, but then Spike who was shitting himself for the forth time that night had pulled me back down telling me that I shouldn't. I saw her approach a pony who was scared. Luna smiled and she started to shake more and pulled her witches hat over her face. OH DEAR CELESTIA! SHE FUCKING SMILED KINDLY AS TO SAY HELLO! EVERYPONY RUN FOR YOU LIVES! I just don't get this town! It's filled with nut jobs. I didn't get why they were scared... That was until she gave them a reason to be scared. The royal Canterlot voice. The vocal tornado that echoed out of her mouth. That was scary. Through the storm that is called Princess Luna's voice, she said that all she wanted was to be friends with the citizens of Ponyville, so they could get to know the true Princess of the night. If she opened her eyes while she spoke and stopped acting like a Canterlot snob, she would realize that everypony was slowly and quietly (Well, you wouldn't need to do it quietly with that voice going round the area, it would cover up the sound of an earthquake!) backing away.

Once her long and unneeded speech and entrance was over, she finally opened her eyes (Huzzah!) to take in her surroundings and also see the ponies reaction around her. Unfortunately for her, it wasn't the reaction she was expecting, she only got fear as their reaction. And to make matters worse, Pinkie Pie, by the way, who seemed to be being extra, extra, EXTRA annoying that night, decided to be over dramatic with Princess Luna's statement and started to freak out about the word "feast". As you would expect, she started screaming, like the chicken she is dressed up as and repeating the same thing, "She's gonna feast on us!". While doing that, freaking everypony else out, causing them to run around screaming as well.

Luna shouted after Pinkie Pie and protested her childish behavior. She didn't want screams of terror, apparently, she wanted "Screams of delight" is what she wanted. Well... Maybe if she didn't scream terror with her attitude, maybe that scene would have gone differently. She turned to everypony else, hoping they would give her a chance, but sadly no. Mainly because she was acting way too aggressive for a greeting. She may as well of screamed in their faces with a microphone and amplifying the voice. Eventually, she gave up. She said that she wouldn't leave with the royal farewell, making it sound like some kind of punishment. How will we ever do without it?!

Anyway, I decided to go talk to her, see if I could help like the kind mare I am. But the pussy Dragon who was still quivering in his costume, probably pissed himself in there too, held me back. The reason was because Luna was Nightmare Moon. Ugh... How many times do I need to tell him and everypony else? SHE IS NO LONGER NIGHTMARE MOON YOU DUMB, BLIND BASTARDS! Everypony in Ponyville know's what Nightmare Moon looks like, Luna doesn't look like Nightmare Moon. She look's exactly like she did one thousand years ago before she was banished. Did I need to present it to these ponies like they were foals? "Nightmare Moon bad. Nightmare Moon gone. Princess Luna good. Princess Luna here." Sometimes, I think this town is so dumb that even something as simple as that could confuse them. When I finally pulled him off my costume, I explained why it wasn't Nightmare Moon. I saw the Elements Of Harmony change her back to her normal self, I knew instantly that she was having trouble fitting in. I've had troubles fitting in. That was the only reason, she just didn't know how to act.

I went off into the forest to find her, but when I did find her, it was a sad sight. I found her lying down on her stomach looking down to the ground in front of the same statue we were at less than an hour ago, the stone statue of Nightmare Moon. I called her name, she looked up. I was about introduce myself, when she interrupted me at, "My name is..." I thought she was going to say my name when she interrupted me because she knew me already, but instead I got, "Star Swirl the Bearded." She then complimented the costume. Finally somepony who had a higher intelligence of a household pet to know who I was meant to be! I was so glad at that moment. I then tuned back to Princess Luna who had a big frowny-face. Then I remembered that she was just cruelly kicked out of Ponyville society, I decided to get back on track. I went to properly introduce myself, when she interrupted me again. Bitch! I don't care if she's a princess, she can wait until I finish doing what I was beginning to do. Obviously didn't have patience or manners a thousand years ago. Anyway, she continued, describing the events of what I did to save her from her dark powers, still in the tornado voice. I finally told her truth of the royal Canterlot voice. It sounded like she was yelling whenever she spoke. How dare thee defy the royal Canterlot voice! Apparently it was tradition to use the royal "we" and speak so loud when addressing her subjects. Let me describe the royal Canterlot voice. She spoke so loud, you could see the sound-waves, like some kind of wind. Once she said she was unsure if she could "change her ways", I decided to take her to Fluttershy, the kindest soul I know, she'd be willing to help.

Princess Luna was unsure of Fluttershy, so I decided to describe her to her. She seemed to calm down then. I knocked on the door and I got the reaction I wasn't expecting. A loud, muffled voice came from behind the door. Oh yeah, she's extremely shy, isn't she. As soon as that voice came from behind the door, Princess Luna's doubt returned. I reassured Fluttershy that it was only me. She opened the door and calmed down... Until she saw Princess Luna and started screaming in terror, shouting Nightmare Moon. I was about to go crazy, and I mean CRAZY when another pony refereed to her as Nightmare Moon once again. But I decided not to because she was Fluttershy, she was just delicate, shy and scared of her own shadow. She was too much of a kind pony to scream at, she's always helped me so I had to give her a chance. Besides, It was Pinkie Pie's fault that everypony was referring to her as Nightmare Moon. Little, pink, hyperactive fuck. She's going on my list for mind testing.

Because she thought Princess Luna was Nightmare Moon, I had too go in there and drag her out by force. Loud bangs and crashing sounds were made that I hope Princess Luna didn't hear, that would just boost her doubt. I brought her back out and all it took for her to fly back into her house, terrified was for Princess Luna to raise her hoof and greet her. I simply used my magic to bring her back over. One of the many advantages of being a Unicorn. All I wanted to do was bring Princess Luna to Fluttershy to teach her how to talk normally and not cause storm sirens to go off. I don't know why I took her to Fluttershy, does she really need help with turning the volume down? At least I knew Princess Luna was trying. When ever she spoke, asking if the volume was ok, she just answered with a yes, even though nothing had changed. She even replied with, "Perfect, lesson over." once and tried to fly back into her cottage, that was until I shut the door and she went slamming into it, her body flattened by the impact force from the back of her body. I decided to do it myself, since everypony else was boneless and or stupid. Finally, she got the hang of it and went to thank Fluttershy, hugging her tightly, too tight actually, making her look weak and limp from the force of the hug. Perfect time for Miss Hyperactive Fuck to pop out of nowhere with her gang of gullible ponies. According to her, "Nightmare Moon" had stolen Fluttershy's voice so she couldn't scream when she gobbles her up. Really, really trying to hold back my anger now. How did all of those ponies start to believe her anyway, they can't all be gullible. Maybe it was Pinkie Pie being manipulative. As we watched the ponies flee, Princess Luna tried to stop them, but it was to late. I was gobsmacked that it had gone this far.

As we strolled back through Ponyville, I saw ponies dancing and having fun, then they see Princess Luna and that fun is forgotten and turned into fear. Some of this fear was because of Princess Luna's entrance, but it was mainly caused by Pinkie Pie. Even she must have realized that this was important to me and Princess Luna, Right?

I decided that I should take her to Applejack. The reason for that was because she was also one of the most kind ponies I knew and also the most honest. She is the Element of Honesty. Thinking she would act normally and not have fallen to Pinkie Pie's standards. But how wrong could I have been. It seem's that the entire town has fallen to Pinkie Pie's chaotic and childish behavior. She jumped down to the ground, covering her eyes with her hooves and quivering. Jeez, all I wanted to know was if she could give Princess Luna some pointers on how to fit in. She replied with, "Fit in? Really?". Making it sound like she didn't trust me, like that was something unexpected to ask her. Deep down inside me I wanted to treat her like a foal because I was getting sick and tired of this towns stupidity that night. I felt like going up in her face smiling, looking like a dumb pony and say, "Yesh, Applejack, Princess Luna, doesn't want to kill you or gobble you all up!". Saying it in a stupid voice to make it sound like my brain had been damaged because I was hit in the head with a flying brick. She came to her senses and done what I asked. Wow! A pony that calmed down in her presents. She proved quite helpful! She actually gave me quite a list:

Applejack's (A pony who helped me and didn't run away or fuck about when it came to Princess Luna) list for fitting in!

Right attitude!

Loosen up!

Be positive! (She said that to a pony who was dark blue, black and obsessed with the night. Kinda negative...)

Play a few games!

Have some fun!

That concludes Applejack's (A pony who helped me and didn't run away or fuck about when it came to Princess Luna) list for fitting in!

Princess Luna's reaction was "Fun? What is this fun?". Who hasn't heard of fun? For a wise pony she's pretty stupid when it comes to ponies, ya know... Her species! She eyed a game that was meant to be fun, consulting the list, it was on it! Well done Princess Shitforbrains! You're doing it! She picked up the spider and aimed it at the web, she threw it and missed completely, the only I knew who could do worse was me, you know, the old, grumpy pony from Ponyville retirement home. Anyway, we had to give her some confidence, Applejack cheered her on like Princess Luna was a five year old filly who was only doing the game for attention. She tried again, and surprisingly dead on center. Apparently she enjoyed the "Fun.". That was surprising, she was actually starting to fit in. She was getting addicted to it. She wanted more... Soon, enough will never be enough and we will all be DOOMED!

...

Anyway, we decided to go to the pumpkin catapults next. She placed the pumpkin on the catapult and she was ready to fire. This time I was cheering her on like she was a five year old filly playing the game only for cute attention. She activated the catapult and, beginners luck, it was a bulls-eye. I have noticed that Princess Luna comes out with odd statements when having fun or when she wins. It's not something you would react to in the way she did. You would add more emotion and less, ye old English .When she said that weird statement, everypony cheered her on! It looked like ponies were finally warming up to her and giving her a chance. The next thing she did had shown me that she was also getting the hang of it. Princess Luna asked for everypony to call her Luna. Like she was throwing away her Princess title in commoner presents. Ponies seemed to like that too.

After that game, we decided to move on, but when we started walking, Luna had spotted that small colt who was dressed like a pirate, Pipsqueak I think his name was, had fallen into the apple bobbing crate. Yeah, great job Applejack, leaving that unattended where young filly's and colt's could drown! Sweet Apple Acres Apples! You'll love them like you love your loved ones who drowned in our Nightmare Night games! Anyway, getting back on track, Luna ran over to the crate and lifted him out of it, probably to make him warm up to her too. Saving his life should be enough to win him over. Considering what was going on in that moment of time, what a perfect time for that PINK FUCKER TO BE PINKIE PIE, AS SHE IS, AND START ACCUSING LUNA OF GOB...

...You know what? I'm not going to bother! I've written it two or three times in this entry already about what Pinkie Pie has done so you should know what she done without me explaining it. Pipsqueak ran away screaming, "My backside has been gobbled." Which I didn't understand because wouldn't you be able to feel it? But he's a young foal, they're meant to be weird and random. But not as weird and random as Pinkie Pie, because then you could be accused of having mental issues. Back with Luna, she was angry with him, saying he was lying, which he obviously was, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was that she stomped her hoof down, shouting and causing lightning to come down, making her look scary. And just as everypony was around her, warming up to her and having fun, that small outburst caused them to back away slowly and for fear to return to their faces once again. Again, mostly Pinkie Pie's fault. She was being more annoying than ever before! A new record! She tried to win the citizens of Ponyville back by screaming 'fun' once more and throwing a toy spider, but after they didn't participate, things went south, far south. For some unknown reason, Luna decided to turn the toy spiders into real, living ones. Because that's a natural thing to do in this situation. Then she screamed "Huzzah! How many points do I receive?!" I can't tell if she was being serious and actually playing or just mocking the ponies that whom's body was infested with spiders. She noticed that everypony was running away and she 'commanded' then to stop as she was their 'Princess'. Their not going to listen to you, they're scared shitless! And that's when she lost it. the royal Canterlot voice had returned. Louder than ever before. Everypony stopped and quivered. I tried to stop her when everything was silent. But she told me know, and by the sounds of it and the way she was acting, it was like a polite mixed with the royal Canterlot voice version of her saying to me, "Piss off!" She said, probably loud enough that even the outskirts of Ponyville could hear it, that Nightmare Night was cancelled forever! Yep, way to go Luna! That'll win the fillies and colt's back. Sometimes, I think her head his actually hollow.

After Luna disappeared, I decided to go after her, to comfort her, and cheer her up. But it was mainly so I could have more candy next year and show off my costume that I was planning to be even better and hopefully more recognizable. I searched all over town for her, high and low, until I finally did.

When I approached, calling her name, she immediately rejected me. I tried to convince her that Nightmare Night was the best holidays we have in Equestria, but she thought that the screams of the ponies said otherwise. I don't think she quite knew what Nightmare Night was all about. But alas, it was no use. That's when I decided that it was time to bring out devious Twi-Bitch out.

I took Luna to an ally way in the middle of Ponyville, made her hide in the shadows so nopony could see her. I lay a trap that featured a trail of candy leading into the ally way and me standing round a corner waiting for the only pony stupid enough to go into an ally way with a candy trail, Pinkie Pie!

It took me a while before she finally came by and foolishly wandered in, free for me to capture! When she came into view, I pounced towards her, got her in my grasp and covered her mouth before she could scream. Again. How does she not have a sore throat from all of her screaming tonight. I told her not to scream and surprisingly, she agreed not too. I wanted her to see Luna as she was without overreacting and mess around. I promised her that it was safe, when really, nothing was safe with Pinkie Pie around. She was a danger to herself, everyone and everything around her. I asked her again to promise not to scream because I didn't quite trust her yet, but I had to for the plan to work or proceed. I slowly backed away and gave Luna a look as a signal to walk forward. When she did, Pinkie Pie was about to scream and I was about to loose my shit, literally loose all of the waste inside of my anus and scream like it was a brick coming out! But luckily, she kept to her promise and I calmed down again. Luna identified Pinkie Pie as 'The ring leader of the screaming children.' Honestly, I don't even think Pinkie Pie could be a leader as childish as that when you know what her organizing skills are. She can only organize parties. Nothing else. Now this was the first time Pinkie Pie and Luna were together, and finally, Luna only wanted peace with Pinkie Pie, I couldn't have seen anything more brilliant that night because of all the chaos. That was before fucking Rainbow Crash ruined the moment with her lightning cloud. Scaring Pinkie Pie, and making her scream 'Nightmare Moon' once more. That was when I was about to loose my shit, but I knew I needed to keep calm and try not to spook Pinkie Pie even more than she already is because of that Pegasus, the 'Element of Loyalty!' I used my magic to appear in front of Pinkie Pie and drop her to the ground. Angry, I shouted in her face, explaining that she wasn't Nightmare Moon anymore and that she had changed. She replied with one thing, and I wasn't expecting it. "Sometimes it's fun to be scared." That was when I figured it out. I then decided to take Luna to the Nightmare Moon statue and wait for the Nightmare Night candy offering.

I went to find Spike who was still whining that the Mayors wig kills the spookiness. I joined the group of fillies and colt's who were heading to the Nightmare Moon statue for the candy offering. Waiting for Luna to make her move, she finally done it when the last foal offered their candy. She appeared in the form of Nightmare Moon and scared them all, when they all were out of sight, she changed back to her normal self and was confused. I told her to wait. I hadn't told her about the thing about it being scared can be fun sometimes. But when Pipsqueak stepped forward, saying that he wanted to be scared again next year and that it was fun to be scared, Luna finally understood, and to make it better, she decided to bring Nightmare Night back! It seems that she found out how to win the kids back too.

Later in the night, after I had finished my Letter to Princess Celestia about what I learned that Night. Rainbow Dash tried to scare us again with her lightning cloud. That was until Luna managed to beat her to the punch by forming her own Lightning cloud and shocking Rainbow Dash with it herself. It looks like Luna had found her inner, happy self who likes to play games and pull pranks! Really, really great night.

Side note:

During the night I was thinking about the parents of foals. They tell their foals to not take and candy or anything else from strangers, and yet they don't care on Nightmare Night. They let their foals take as much candy as they want from strangers. Really strange and weird.

Author's Note

As you can see, I took a 2 month break from writing anything and I have finally started on it again. Future updates will be less frequent, not like two months ago where they would come out every day or two.

Sisterhooves Social: No diary entry!

No diary entry because Twilight didn't appear once in the episode. Not even once.

The Cutie Pox

Dear diary,

When I walked out of my library today, the last thing I expected to see was Apple Bloom with two cutie marks one with a hoop or something and one with spinning plates. Another thing I didn't expect was to have my face violated by a big metal hoop that Apple Bloom was controling and mess my mane up so it had the same style as Rarity. But what do you know? Combine Twilight Sparkle and Ponyville together and eventually, it'll happen. To make it even worse, Spike, the small dragon with a big heart who wants to do the nasty with Rarity, then wanted to do it with me. I could tell because of the hearts in his eyes. Also, because of that, I found out that Spike only loves Rarity for her looks.

Unfortunatly, I was dragged into this the next day when Applejack brought Apple Bloom to me about this cutie mark problem. She had another cutie mark. This one was for tap dancing. I was really confused by what I saw. A pony with three cutie marks. I never saw anything like it in my life before I saw her. These things were so simple. But this was the Cutie Mark Crusaders. They were sometimes simple themselves and for some reason, they go for the more harder ways to try and get their cutie marks and I dont know why. But they were very simple talents and Apple Bloom had never performed any of the things she was doing at that moment in her life as far as I knew. I didn't understand it. How could she be so good at it straight away? Even if it is a pony's special talent, they would still need a load of practase to know that it could be their special talent. It wasn't just that either. She got the cutie marks before she ever tried the talents. It was obvious something was wrong.

Luckily for them, I was just reading a book about weird illnesses that effected ponies. Spike brought the book down for us to flick through. A page caught my eye when I found an illness that matched all of Apple Blooms symptoms. It was something called the cutie pox. It made ponies get cutie marks all over their bodies, but as soon as they appeared, ponies would do what the cutie mark showed and they couldn't stop. But unfortuatnly for Apple Bloom, there was no known cure and the cutie pox dissapeared just as mysteriously as they arrived. Very strange indeed. Just then, Apple Bloom got another cutie mark and started speaking a weird language that I didn't recognise. We needed somepony to help. That's when an idea came to my mind. I needed somepony who knew about this weird stuff. Maybe a cirtain Zebra.

As soon as we left the library to find Zecora, Apple Bloom got another cutie mark in construction. She immdediatly started to build a sculpture and it was complete in seconds. I have to say, it was pretty impressive. But imagine if she done that with the Cutie Mark Crusaders and without the cutie pox. Oh, how desasterous it would be. Then she was cleaning chimies, playing the accordian, became a lion tamer, a chess master and a fencer. That was when ponies started to get suspcious. Some ponies started to say she was cursed. Another peice of evidence that Ponyville doesn't do their research and I still wonder why the library is always empty. There is no such thing as curses. It's an illness! Anyway, ponies started to wonder what was going on, so the once again fuck-up of the day, Spike the dragon decides to tell them by saying that it was mysterious, from centuaries ago and with no cure. Thank you Captin Chaos. I swear, sometimes Spike does it to watch ponies react and to entertain himself. What happened next, I though was a bit of an over reaction. Everypony started running and screaming. Soon, Ponyville was deserted.

Just as it happened, Zecora arrived thinking that everypony was hiding because she arrived. Pretty conveiniant, but Applejack thought it was a 'Zebra sense'. Celestia knows where she got that from. Applejack and I explained to her what happened and what we found out so far and in return, she gave us information on what Apple Bloom wanted. She went to see Zecora about trying to get a cutie mark by drinking a potion. But then Zecora reavealed a flower called hearts desire and then she left. Leaving Apple Bloom with a plant that can give a pony anything they desire. A perfectly safe thing to do. But we found out more. Zecora took out some seeds from her saddle bag. She said that the plant is a cure, but it can only grow when somepony speaks the truth. Looked like all of Apple Blooms secrets are going to spill out. I wonder what her dark secrets are. I wonder if there is a spell to make a pony spill all of their secrets. Maybe, if there is one, I should try it on Fluttershy. She is very quiet and I'm almost cirtain she is hiding something.

Applejck planted the seeds and demanded the truth. We all thought it would be Apple Bloom to spill the beans, but for some reason, Pinkie Pie was the one to blurt out her lies and tell the truth, but even that was a lie and she started crying, begging it to stop. Average Pinkie Pie. After that strange moment, Apple Bloom soon started to admit it and tell the truth. When she did, ponies started to come out and listen to the truth of her lies. She admited they were fake and the plant started to grow.

After about two or three more lies, the plant was fully grown and Apple Bloom ate it whole. I mean, what if that wasn't how it was done? What if it needed to be put in a potion? Apple Bloom could of just ruined a chance to get rid of the cutie pox. I think she was lucky it worked. She learned her lesson and apologised to everypony. Applejack was very proud of her to owning up. Then an idea came to my head. I wanted her to write to Princess Celestia. That was a perfect example of what a young foal should learn once in their foalhood. Plus it would also get me out of doing it. Making a pony who had just been cured of a illness to do my job... I'm sure that was a perfectly fine thing to do. Anyway, she wrote her friendship letter to Princess Celestia and Spike sent it off. She finally learned a lesson and that she had to be patient to get what she wants.

Now I can't wait till next week when I'm dragged into something else because the Cutie Mark Crusaders already forget that lesson. I know for a fact that they will never learn.

May the Best Pet Win

Dear diary,

I started my day with my friends, only Rainbow Dash was absent. We gathered our beloved pets and set off to the local park as we did every week. The only reason we didn't invite Rainbow Dash was because she didn't have a pet. I always thought she should of have a pet, but she had never age any indication that she wanted one. Strangely enough, we met her in the park sleeping in a tree like a squirrel and her attitude towards not having a pet was about to change.

She was woken up by me, my friends and their animal companions making a lot of noise. She jumped out of the tree wondering what we were doing. Maybe if she stopped showing off and gloating all of the time, we might of invited her anyway and if her friends were able to stand all of her cocky behavior, she would already know what a play date was. Technically, it was a pony-pet play date. Anyway, we explained what was going on and she caught on fairly quickly. It was that simple, so luckily she did catch on quickly and not waste much time of our pony-pet play date. I know Rainbow Dash. She can be pretty dense sometimes, especially when she has just woken up.

A few moments later, for some reason she became hostile. She came up to us and started explaining that just because she didn't have a pet, it didn't mean she would never have one. I didn't see the point in getting so angry about it. Did she have anger issues? She was a cocky pony and hated losing so I wouldn't be surprised if she did, but I knew it would just make her angry if I did ask if she did. I discarded the thought immediately.

As soon as Rainbow said what she said, Fluttershy started to get excited. She flew over to Rainbow Dash and started to ramble on about what pets Rainbow Dash could get. Soon she was dragging Rainbow back to her cottage to choose a pet. I know Fluttershy is enthusiastic about animals, but really? She isn't the crazy stallion who works in the Ponyville pet shop who tries to sell you every animal she has as soon as you walk into the building, but sometimes she acted like she was a twin of his.

Rainbow Dash helped Fluttershy gather all of the spare pets she had and took them to the center of town. No pony was there so it was just the right place to place all of the pets. She blew a whistle and got them all to line up side by side. She decided to get them all together and make them go through a series of torments. Whoever won at the end got to be Rainbow Dash's pet. I didn't think it mattered. I don't think the animals knew the difference to overconfident, unbearable showoff and normal pony. What was worse was that she was scaring all of the animals. She was treating them like they were troops in an army.

Applejack noticed her behavior and asked if she knew what a pet was. Obviously not. There was no love or affection in the relationship between Rainbow Dash and the animals. Then Fluttershy came close to Rainbow Dash, pushing a turtle towards her. I'm a pony who likes to give everypony a chance to prove themselves, but at that moment, I was like Rainbow Dash. There was no way that a turtle was going to be able to win against all the other animals. Turtles were slow and couldn't fly, unlike the rest that were already in line. Rainbow Dash done the right thing and decided to let the turtle compete because if she didn't let the turtle compete, Fluttershy wouldn't stop rubbing the turtle in Rainbow's face.

Next, Rainbow Dash started to show off again, explaining to all of the animals what they needed to become her pet. We can all guess what she was telling them. Awesomeness and they had to be radical and many more things that meant the same thing. I pointed it out to her to correct her. Honestly, I walked right into the trap by trying to correct her as the next thing she said was; "That's why you would never qualify to be my pet." I know I wouldn't qualify as a pet as I'm a damn pony, not an animal! I'm intelligent! More intelligent than that feather brained Pegasus! I'm the personal student of Princess Celestia! What does she have in life?! A pile of failed rejection letters from the Wonderbolt's, that's what! I am no pony's pet. Bitch.

Rainbow Crash set up the first test for all of the animals. It was a race to test their speed. It was as boring as any other race. Just a load of animals racing each other to get first place to claim the prize. The falcon won and many other's followed behind it to finish the race while the turtle hadn't even crossed the starting line when the race was announced finished. I felt sorry for the turtle. At least he was trying to win. He was going against his natural behavior just to win. Turtles were supposed to be slow and yet he was willing to enter a race ti compete with others that were much faster than him and could fly.

The next test was an obstacle course... In the air. Even for the animals that could fly, it was a tough order. The flamingo tripped, the Butterfly just hit a wall even though it was clearly in front of him which I thought was pretty stupid. In the end it was the Humming Bird who won. It would make sense for the Humming Bird to win since it is small and fast. Unfortunately for the turtle, it was in the air. He tried to jump, but when he tried, he didn't even leave the ground at any point. Still, I respected the turtle as it was still trying. Obviously, Rainbow Dash didn't and started mocking him. It was confirmed. Rainbow Dash was being her old snobby self. Not everypony can reach your standards of 'awesomeness', Dash. I know it is wrong for me to say this, but I started to hope that karma would strike at some point in the future.

The next task didn't take much preparation at all. The only thing needed was Rarity's cat, Opal and a toy mouse of hers. I'm surprised that Rarity would even let her cat go near those 'rodents' or 'beasts' as she would probably call them. Rainbow Dash let Opal out and as I expected, they all started to shake in their own skin out of fear as soon as Opal emerged from her pet carrier. Honestly, I thought it would be the turtle that would be brave enough to go get the toy mouse because it could hide his head if Opal swung her paw at him and he had a hard shell to protect him. I started to have less and less hope for the turtle, especially as it was the Butterfly who got the toy mouse in the end. But then it became hilarious. That aggressive cat was outsmarted twice when the turtle finally made his move. When Opal returned to normal after the Butterfly's technique to stun her, the turtle slowly made his way behind Opal's pet carrier and tipped it over her. Opal escaped the sneaky attack and started scratching at the turtle that hid in his shell. My hope was slowly returning. I don't know why Rarity calls other animals’ beasts as her cat is more dangerous as a beast anyway. I wonder what made that cat so evil, aggressive and grumpy. Probably the torture that he has to go through when living with Rarity's fussiness.

There were a few other tasks that were not really important and don't want to mention. They weren't even tasks and the animals just had to show what noises they made. Rainbow Dash thought that the eagle made the best noise. Then there was some kind of show put on for the animals to show what they could do without their abilities. There was only one more to show off what he could do and it was the turtle. So far, Rainbow Dash thought the bat was the best. The bat used crystal glasses to make music while using its ability. After it did that, it used its ability to break the glasses. His ability is what bats normally do to detect things around them since they're blind.

The only contestant was the turtle. As I said before, I admire him for his courage to go against other animals that are much more skilled than him and yet he chooses the most difficult task. To prove himself, the turtle put together an obstacle course of his own, unlike the other one that Rainbow Dash put together, this one could kill him. I think Rainbow Dash was just out-dared by a turtle that she thinks is not impressive. Unfortunately for the turtle, once again, things go wrong, but at least that time he managed to get off the ground when he jumped. He fell back on his shell and Rainbow Dash finally decided to have a word with him, which at that point felt right than for the turtle to embarrass himself even more. She explained to him who made the cut and who didn't. She sent the turtle away.

She turned to the rest of the animals who did make the cut and explained to them the final task. The task was to race Rainbow Dash through Ghastly Gouge. I think beating Rainbow Dash without being snobby about how they won would be a victory in itself. If fact, me, my friends and the animals should put Rainbow Dash up for a challenge to not be a snob when she wins and everypony who bets that she will be snobby will defiantly get profit!

By the way, just before the race started, the Turtle returned without Rainbow Dash even noticing.

The race was soon of to a start and every animal had left the starting line, except the Turtle, obviously, but he was still giving it a go.

Me and everypony else made their way to the finish line by taking a short cut to get there to see who would win. We thought that there wasn't any doubt who would win. How wrong we were. Plus, karma struck. We saw the animals in view but no Rainbow Dash; every animal crossed the line except for the turtle and a cocky Pegasus. We started to get worried. We soon discovered that there was an avalanche and we figured Rainbow Dash mush have been caught in between the falling boulders, that was until we saw the turtle arrive to the finish line, very slowly, carrying Rainbow Dash on his shell. I guess he proved himself after all and not only that, but he was now liked by Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash decided to have the Turtle as a pet and not the falcon that won because the rule was whoever crossed the line with Dash became her pet and that was the Turtle. She also named it tank.

Rainbow Dash finally learned what a pet was and how to treat one. Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash didn't learn that if she didn't stop being snobby when she won, she would get a hoof across the face. Hopefully one of these days she will.

Prologue

Dear diary,

Since I have found out that the legend of Nightmare Moon returning is happening tomorrow, I have decided to create a diary to help me keep track of what is going on. Today I only found out of Nightmare Moon returning, so I am very on edge and suspicious. Also, Princess Celestia has sent me to Ponyville to sort things out for the summer sun celebration, so all I can do is wait things out as see what happens. Some ponies in Canterlot say that the ponies in Ponyville are total freaks, but I'm sure they're not all bad, hopefully. Princess Celestia also said to try and make new friends, which could be hard for me, I'm very nervous and I'm just begging that everything goes well.

Winter Wrap Up

Dear diary,

I woke up bright and early today because of one reason! Winter wrap Up!" I was so exited about this, because I des covered that Ponyville doesn't switch the seasons with magic like we do in Canterlot. Because Ponyville was founded by earth ponies, they don't use magic. It would take longer and it would take more time and the aim was to do it in one day. So it was going to be hard work.

I rushed to the Centre of Ponyville where everypony was meeting up to be assigned a job. I also saw that ponies where wearing their vests that Rarity designed. Honestly, not her best work. They were so boring. Thank Celestia I didn't say that to her face, she would probably melt the snow with the heat coming from her body caused by the rage of somepony calling her work boring. All of the time we ran to the centre of Ponyville, Spike wouldn't stop moaning about going back to bed because he was tired. He is so lazy. ~~If he keeps being lazy, he will get fat. And I don't think Rarity would want to date a fat baby dragon.~~ The mayor made her speech about winter wrap up and ponies got on with their jobs, except for me because I wasn't assigned one. Suddenly, everypony started singing about winter wrap up, so I decided to go along with it. It was catchy. Music is ok when Pinkie Pie isn't involved. But, back on track, I didn't know where to fit in.

After the song that will soon be in Equestria's top charts, I went over to Rainbow Dash to ask if I could help clear the sky. She pointed out that I needed to be a Pegasus for that. I forgot that I was a unicorn. Don't know how, but it happened.

I decided to go ask Rarity if I could help. Luckily, there was, I could help make the birds nests. Brilliant! I started off with one and tried to make one like Rarity's, but... It didn't work out so well. It looked horrible. But Spike took it a bit to far. He said it needed to be condemned. That was a but extreme. Rarity tries to be nice and say that the birds could use it for something, until Spike interrupted and said they could use it as an outhouse. I know I was not supposed to use magic, but I was really tempted to turn him into an outhouse, eat a dozen burritos and Using him to do my business in. Rarity took control to try and fix it, but in the process, got obsessed and forgot we were there, me and Spike decided to sneak off.

Next, I went to see Pinkie Pie to see if I could do anything there she was. She was in charge of cutting up the ice with her skates to make it easier for the ice to melt. She was a great skater, but not a great singer. I guess you can't be good at everything. She asked me to help her out. Finally, something that was easy to do. All I needed to do was just walk around, right? No! It was extremely hard and I couldn't balance very well. Spike thought it would be funny to push me into the middle of the lake, I ended up going really fast and unfortunately, crashed into Pinkie Pie. We were still moving, but what looked like Spike playing a prank by pushing us to the middle of the lake, backfired, as we crashed into him. He decided to make it even worse for me and make a better chance of me turning him into a toilet. He said I was a natural, a natural disaster. Wow! Really offensive. I don't think he would like it if a natural disaster happened to him, his home being destroyed by an earthquake or a tsunami, he wouldn't be laughing then.

I them decided to go see Fluttershy. She was waking the animals up from hibernation. They were so cute. Cuter that Spike. Spike asked what hibernation was, I was going to say something her should do all year so we would have peace without his annoying remarks about me. She said I could give it a try, so I did, I went to wake up some animals. They turned out to be snakes. I was terrified of snakes. I ended up panicking and running into a tree. (Not Fluttershy.) And then, into a group of skunks. I don't want to mention what happened next.

I had to go back home and get a bath of tomato soup to get rid of the smell. I really wanted to help winter wrap up, but I couldn't fit in anywhere, things were just getting worse and worse. I was going to find a place to help, even if it killed me, but by the looks of things, it might.

I went to Sweet Apple Acres to help with getting rid of all the snow. Applejack hesitated, but I insisted. I hopped on to the plower but couldn't move it. I used a bring to life spell on it thinking it would be fine. But no, it wasn't, I started to loose control and well... Created an avalanche, creating more snow for the ponies to plow. I crashed into Spike and Applejack. Applejack knew what I was up to since it started to go wrong. She knew I used magic, but I wasn't supposed to. I got embarrassed and ran away to hide in a bush.

Later on, Spike found me in said bush, attempting to make me feel better, but not very good at it. It turns out that what I did caused arguments and I found out that Ponyville was going to be late with winter wrap up again. But one thing I don't under stand was that the mayor could be helping, but she sat indoors all day doing nothing. That hypocrite. Then more arguments arose. Caramel lost the grass seeds, again and Derpy Hooves went north to get the southern birds. The mayor wanted to be organised. Which was very lucky because organisation was one of my specialties. I decided to help. I stepped in and told them to stop arguing. I created an organised list for everypony to do. I created organisation for melting the ice, organisation for getting rid of the snow, organisation for waking up the animals, organisation for the weather team and organisation for Derpy bringing back the southern birds.

At the end of everything, I was praised for my organisation skills and given the title, "All team organiser!" But that wasn't the blessed part. The best part was that we put Spike on a small bit of ice that was melting quickly as revenge for making fun of me these past two days. But it did get a bit to far when Spike got a flu because of it.

So at the end of the days of winter wrap up. I learned that everypony is pretty much stupid I Ponyville and unorganised and uncoordinated and need someone to tell them what to do all of the time. It was an exhausting two days and I hope I never go through something like that again.

Stare Master

Dear diary,

Today was a disaster from the start. I woke up and found out that Spike had caught a flu, again. I hate him sometimes... Most times. But he's a baby dragon and I still need to take care of him. The only reason that I had Spike was if I didn't keep him, Princess Celestia would be disappointed. Why can't she keep her pets?

I went out to get some supplies for Spike to help him recover, apparently a special flower that grows in the everfree forest can help him recover quickly. So I went off as fast as I could to go get the plant. On my way there, I bumped into Fluttershy after the Cutie Mark Crusaders ran passed me and made me very dizzy. She told me that she was taking care of them tonight. Strange that she is very quite and is still volunteering to take after three, out of control fillies. After Fluttershy left, I continued my trip to the everfree forest.

I was deep in the forest and almost at Zecora's house, when just then, I saw something, a head of a chicken. I was curious and decided to take a closer look. After that... Nothing... I didn't know what happened. That creature turned me into stone. Let me tell you about what's bad about being put in a cage made from stone, it's made out of stone, it fits the shape of your body perfectly. In a stone cage, obviously, it's cold, you can't move, and I was conscious for all the time I was stone. It was hell. As I was conscious and I was freezing and I couldn't move at all, not even blink because the stone around me fit that well. I stood there, couldn't make a sound, watching the creature that did it walk away and I couldn't do anything but watch the hours go by.

Later on, or what I thought was later on, I don't know, I don't have a good sense of time when I'm stone, it was night, that's all I knew, there was a light and after it, I could move again. Also, I saw Fluttershy with the three fillies in the distance. I went over and asked if they knew what happened to me. Fluttershy exained it very well. That a creature with the head of a chicken and the body of a snake turned me to stone, while she was telling me, I was writing my friendship report to Princess Celestia. Basically, I got stoned in the woods because of some weird creature. I asked how she saved me from the stone cage, she replied that it was because she used something called the stare on it. I didn't understand how it worked, but I knew I would one day. But not I know why Fluttershy can control all of her animals, because she uses the stare as a kind of animal abuse when they don't do what they told. Hmm. Not something you would expect a pony like her to do.

The Cutie Mark Chronicles

Dear diary,

Today, nothing happened really. The only thing that happened was that the Cutie Mark Crusaders came by to ask me how I got my cutie mark. It was nice to see them, the last time I saw them was when I got stoned in the woods. But I didn't have a problem with telling them.

I had always wanted to go to the summer sun celebration where Princess Celestia raised the sun. It was on wig the most wonderful things I had ever seen. After that, I made myself learn everything I could about magic, but also practise it. On etching that I didn't like about learning magic was that when you first try it, and you are not even the beginner rank, it's really hard to use a simple levitation spell. It's so hard I needed to strain to use it the first time, and it looked like I was having a over sized dump for my small body. But when I first done it, I was so proud of myself. I read all the books in Canterlot library about magic, all seventeen in one night. Then, later that same night, my parents gave me a huge surprise by entering me into Princess Celestia's school for gifted unicorns! Just one thing, I had to pass an entrance exam. I was really nervous. In fact , I would go as far as terrified. I was given a dragon egg to open, if I did, I would pass. I tried and I tried, but I couldn't open the egg. Then, suddenly there was a huge rainbow explosion and my magic started to work and I opened the egg in a flash. A baby dragon popped out who I got to keep and later named Spike. But there was a huge problem, I had a huge magic breakdown, I couldn't control it. I ended up turning Spike into a huge dragon, not a baby one anymore, and my parents into cacti. Princess Celestia noticed the commotion and came inside to see me. She decided to make me her own personal student in the school and it was the best day of my life, but not only that, I didn't even notice that I got my cutie mark until Princess Celestia pointed it out. And that was how I got my cutie mark.

Turns out I went into a daydream where I started to jump around in real life, also, the Cutie Mark Crusaders had left, and I was left looking really stupid in public.

Later on, I went to Sugar Cube Corner to meet with all my friends, the Cutie Mark Crusaders returned to hear Rainbow Dash's story. After her story, we des covered something. That all of my friends heard the explosion that Rainbow Dash caused. Which means, if that explosion didn't come along, I would have failed my entrance exam. Rainbow Dash helped me get my cutie mark! Which also means, because she did that, I can't insult her for being or doing something stupid with out guilt since she helped me make the best day of my life! Aww. It's a shame because Rainbow Dash can be stupid and needs to be insulted sometimes.