On a Planet Far Far Away...

I watched through the glass window as the purple unicorn sprinted down the main Ponyville road. It scares me sometimes how fast that they react to such things, and how fast they are able to move even without the help of The Force.

With a sigh, I pick myself and my dark brown cloak from the oak-bench. I know this is called the, "Golden Oaks Library" but does everything have to be made of oak?! Then again, I never heard of the word before I got here, but they were quick to get me up to speed.

FLASHBACK:

"So, you see Rig, that is a timber wolf, and the tree we are in at the moment is called an oak tree- Hey, are you listening?!"

"Huh? Wha?

"Tell me, what did you learn today?"

"So... many... CUPCAKES."

Anyway, I fix my top hat (which looks ravishing by the way) and make my way to the door. Stepping on a few metal nails with the bottom of my boots. I swear, how in blazing's name do the walk around without puncture wounds?

Magic I guess. Everything that's hard to explain in this strange world immediately goes to one fault: Magic.

Well, whatever you call it, I truly know it's the force. No matter how weird.

With a little flick of my hands, I open the half-spherical wooden hinged door and let the afternoon light engulf me. Letting the smell of chocolate and cotton candy invade my nose.

Yep, this is an insane world.

I walked through the streets of the modest sized town, with ponies running about screaming their heads off. MY, they're skittish. Every step I took was joined with the running of some long- legged white creatures, and a splash of chocolate from a puddle.

This chaotic, *ahem, 'disaster' is nothing more than a joke. No one's being harmed, so what's the problem exactly? Ok, so some ponies lives have just gotten a bit more hectic, but so what? Are they all going to drown in chocolate sauce?

No. No they are not.

I am worrying for them, but not for death reasons, but more so of personal belongings and airlooms being damaged.

Speaking of which, I wonder how Ms. Zecora is doing, let's reach out with the force shall we?

Zecora stood in a meditative state reminding Rig of Master Yoda. R1 was also there, actually being silent for once.

Suddenly, without warning, all the items, potions, etc. that adorned her walls came down with one big CRA-

-"Ah.... yes... better not look into that right now."

Picking up the pace, I wander aimlessly in the direction Twilight went, not in a rush at all. Some could say this is a crisis, but I'd more call it a day off. Just a... tad confusing.

Alright, my day started off norm- well, semi-normal, and now it's slowly descending into more and more chaos. Still, no casualties on the battlefield. Nothing to be afraid about-

*Crunch.

I had to open my mouth.

"OW." I yelped. The pain in my hand spreading shockwaves through my nerves.

While I was dazing about, my long legged friend snuck up on me, and bit my poor little hand. Quite hard actually. Buck teeth and all.

Broken?

I flex my hand, followed by a sickening crack.

Yep. Broken.

I spun around and used the force with my one good hand to throw the rabbit into the next dimension.

Or, rather flagpole.

With a reddened mark on my hand, and a bemused expression I continue on my voyage. With more of those rabbit creatures running past me from time to time.

The broken hand doesn't bother me much. In fact, I went up against a LEGION of battle droids once with a broken leg. It wasn't fun I can assure you, but I survived at the least.

Hey look! A pony has finally started rounding up those cotton candy clouds! About time they showed some strength and did something about it! A pegasi no doubt as well.

Huh, a rope too?

...

Well, I have to say I'm one stupid person to not say this sooner, but it looks like Ms. Farmer and Ms. Hissy fit are doing the job for me. How considerate. I was going to, an easy task at the least, but hey, I'm not complaining. Less work for the human.

I start to rub my scruffy red beard in confusion. I don't know why I didn't notice this before, but those tiny wings CANNOT support their body mass. It seems like I'm nitpicking here, but that bothers me.

The pink clouds are all shaped within a blob of chocolate-sugar mush, placed directly in the farming establishment about a half mile away.

I'd also like to point out that all the ugly animal things were running towards that piece of pink... cholesterol ridden, fluff of sugar, with brown liquids soaked in.

Ya know, I like sweet things, we didn't have much in the jedi temple- correction, we didn't have any. When I came to this cute little world, I was basically forced into- no I was forced into eating sweet things.

But that just sounds sickening. No matter how backwards this world is. Soggy cotton? Ugh. The texture sounds appalling.

It's apparently doing the trick though, seeing how all the animals are kept busy with the  pink stuff and the...

What's that stuff called, corn? What happened to i-

You know what? I'm not even going to start. It's doing the trick.

I brush of my hands and sigh. "Well, I think the worst of it is over but-"

*SHOOM.

"Come. With. Now." A blue blur said, picking me up and taking me at a blinding speed. I think we can all safely say who it is.

Can't I just have a normal day?