On a Planet Far Far Away...

by IAMCHEEZY

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Human
Length: 6273

During the height of the Clone Wars, a derserter of the Jedi temple finds himself in a...strange new world.

During the midst of the ever-expanding war of the republic and the sepratists, a new deserter of the Jedi order crash lands in the forest of a, very different world than what he is used to.

Note: I will add categories as when situations develop further into the story, and this story WILL go through many, I repeat MANY edits!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-24 22:56:56 UTC

The Force is Strong With This Planet [EDITED]

We find our protagonist having not the best of hyperspace jumps...

"Blasted asteroid! R1! How far off course have we gone?" said the former Jedi master with the lights of passing stars lighting up his facial features. His face clearly forming bullets of sweat as they were sent whizzing around and around from the rocks impact on the left wing of his small starship.

The now, small R1 astromech unit placed on the top of the vehicle said through a microchip,"Very. Also, prepare for crash landing sir, incoming planet dead ahead."

The deserter rolled his eyes, "Cut it out with the bad news! Honestly, why did I put a voice chip in you? In fact, why did I make you suitable for flying?!"

The droid responded almost to cheerfully, "Don't know Rig, but it feels great! I feel like those new-fangled R2 units!"

Rig copied his previous action by rolling his eyes once more. I swear, one more quip out of you...

His hand reached out for a silver-metallic switch in the side of his cockpit. He flicked it once upward, but had no effect. Then in frustration, he started flicking it up and down like a wild man. Come on, come on...

"Would you like me to help you sir?"

With slight exasperation he said, " Why not. Can you tell me which sector of the galaxy we are positioned in?"

The droid took a few moments to calculate the coordinates, filling the air with beeps and whistles as he went. "Urrmmm..."

"Well, where re we?"

"W-well..."

"Spit it out." Rig spat out, becoming more and more impatient with his robotic companion.

"Ah...,  It appears nowhere sir." R1 said with a hint of a nervous tone to it.

"What-"

"It seems that we just may have discovered a new planet sir."

"Maybe... you're just probably malfunctioning since you're such an old model..."

"Highly doubt it!"

The droid had been a wonderful companion, he didn't want to give up his friend just yet to the R2 units, so he upgraded him to fit the role of co-pilot. Even though his droid was a complete idiot sometimes, he still enjoyed the black astromech's presence.

Just about as he was going for another retort, they came out of hyperspace rather quickly. His face slammed on the control board ahead of him. "OUCH! Be careful will ya?"

Completely ignoring his masters complaints, the droid simply said, "Prepare for crash landing."

"Girls the Gala has been amazing this year. I'll make sure to invite you next year!" Said a familiar white goddess with sarcasm completely evident her motherly-like tone.

After exchanging more pleasantries the group had a large debate of either doing this again, or not coming at all.

"My grannie needs the money!"

"We really don't need to go back. Especially how Flutters ticked off most of the animals."

"Hey, I was making good progress."

"I simply NEED to get an apology from that jerk BlueBlood!"

"I don't think-"

A large SHOOM cut off Twilight mid sentence. The ground shook with intensity as they all staggered to stay upright.

When the short event was over, the group all exchanged confused glances. "What... the"

"Girls, come with me."

Obliging the solar princess, they all followed her steps, and soon were out of the door. What met there sight, and a few other dumbfounded ponies, was a strange object flying towards the Everfree forest. "W-what... in the hay is that...?" Applejack exclaimed.

On further inspection, it seemed to be a large metal... thing, that had a large trail of smoke following behind it. Clearly damaged in some way. It was fairly large, and plummeting towards the earth. "Uh, princess... do you think we should go after it?

"Yes." was all the answer they needed.

"WE ARE IN THE ATMOSPHERE NOW SIR!" The droid managed to yell over all the screeching and beeping the electronics of the interior was forcing down Rig's ears.

"YES I KNOW! WHY DO YOU THINK WE'RE ON FIRE?! RAISE THE BLASTED HEAT SHIELDS!"

The interior got immediately cooler, as the faint yellowish-glow of the shields protecting him from certain fiery death. He sighed soundly as his hands once again clasped the control stick.

"Damn thing, WHY CAN'T I CONTROL THESE THINGS?" He shouted at particularly no one as he slams his fist on the control panel, slightly damaging it in the process.

"Oh, poor human. Would you like some milk with that temper tantrum?" R1 added playfully. "Just use the force to guide the thing into that forest over there."

Rig looked in front of himself to find a strange forest, a little too dark for ones such as Naboo. His attention quickly shifted to a small settlement near the edge of the greens. Filled with, even more strange creatures looking at the metal beast with horror. "What are those things?"

R1 shot a cloaked scanner to the mortified crowds. "It seems that they are equine of origin. Hm! From my data banks, they lived on Courcsant before the rise of technology. Also being there during the rise of technology when at that period it was called 'Notron'.

"How long ago was that?"

"I don't know exactly, but from what my data banks are concerned the rise of technology was 100,000 years ago."

Shock coursed through his body. "One... hundred... thousand, and on Courcsant no less? HOW CAN THEY BE BLOODY HERE?"

"Don't know sir."

The tree line became closer and closer as he winced using the force to stabilize the vehicle. His hand tensed and sweat formed on his brow.

"Can...you...tell...me...anything...more?" He said gasping with every word.

"Not at the moment but- BRACE FOR IMPACT!"

All he remembers is a large thump before blacking out.

Rig's POV

"I think it's waking up Zecora"

"Be quiet Twilight. For scaring it you might.

My eyes were twitching at the sound of small- feministic voices surrounding me. They voices quickly silenced as I let out a loud moan of complete pain.

No, it wasn't my left eye was in complete pain as if they were on fire.

Not thinking straight both my eyes shot open not noticing the shocked faces that swarmed around me. Before even a half second of opening my eyes I yelled and force pushed everything that lied ahead. Sending crude tables, chairs, bottles, and strange masks everywhere.

I sat up unveiling my lightsaber from my brown cloak, unsheathing it, and pointed it at the nearest creature. Sadness filled my heart quickly as I saw what I had done to the poor yellow creature that happened to be at the end of my blade.

She had a soft-looking clean mane and tears forming in her... my god those eyes are huge, but also adorable. The slight tears she was making reflected the blue hue of my contraption.

Pushing my affections to the side however, I simply retracted the blade and simply stated, "Sorry about that. Next time, don't startle a Jedi."

My words that left me didn't do much, as I was quickly forced downwards by an equine who had a strange rainbow-colored hairdo. "No one, makes one of my friends cry."

"EASY! BE EASY NOW YOUNG ONE!" I shouted. "There is no harm done!" I repeated to her softly.

"Get off of the creature." The large one demanded a little to harshly.

The blue one groaned as she flapped her much-to-small-wings-to-carry-her lazily.

"My name is Princess Celestia," She replied. "and as you can see, you might have caused one of my friends to be extremely frightened." She stated in a cold tone that I'm sure if it were any colder it would freeze the hilt of my saber.

"I'm sorry to hear that your worship. But I need to get back to my ship if you don't mind. Thank you." I stood up only to have the worst pain in my life shoot up through my leg's nervous system. Yes, I've been shot by a laser before, and it's worse than that.

"Take it easy." said the one in... I believe to be stripes. "The pain is severe and you might be a bit queasy."

"Just point me to where my ship and droid are at, then we'll be out of your hair."

"No, your to weak-"

Cutting the striped one off I replied with venom, "I can take care of myself." Not the Jedi way to reply, but I am no Jedi anymore.

Pain spikes after pain spikes land blow after blow as I finally reach the doorknob. Instead of opening it, I find myself struggling to push forwards as the lavender one held me back with a sufficient amount of force energy.

I found myself back in the bed apologizing for my actions to both the yellow one and the group. I had also explained to them how I needed to get out of here as quickly as possible. I really don't need to, but this place gives me chills.

"You are still in no shape. That scar on your eye looks especially bad-"

"SCAR?" I shout making them jump. "Do you have mirrors on this planet?!" As if on command the pink one spawned a mirror out of thin air, making my head spin as no force users can even begin to match that.

I pluck it from her mouth and hold it up to my eyes to reveal the horror that befell me. Almost the whole left side of my face was completely red and scorched.

Slamming the mirror into the ground, they all looked at me wide-eyed. "What?" I replied.

"Bu- you don't even have a horn." Said the lavender one, her mouth agape.

Ok, so I didn't just slam it into the ground, I picked it up using the force and THEN proceeded to smash it.

"Yes, and? You saw me using the push didn't you?"

"We- we were more concerned for our friend, but... how can you do these things?"

Stopping a wave of questions that would have most certainly have ensued, the door to the hut opened slowly to reveal my little companion. "MASTER!" It cried up as it made it's way across the floor.

"Oh, my master what happened to your eye-"

"DON'T YOU DARE!"

"Oh fine." the little robot turned to even more stunned faces of, even the princess. A red beam shot out across the room coming from the droids inner workings.

He first positioned himself in front of an orange equine not seeming to thrilled for all what was happening around her. His robotic voice clearly evident as he said, "Species: Pony. Indingeonus Courascant."

He turned to the white coated one, she looking even more white now. "Species: Unicorn. Status: Doesn't exist. Myths extending to ancient human history."

She looked worriedly to Celestia, "Doesn't exist?" She whispered.

The droid turned to the cyan pony, who looked ready to pounce any moment. "Species: Pegasus. Status: Non existent. Myths made from the earliest of human history."

He finally turned towards the princess, who was also wary of R1. "Species: Unknown. Status: Unknown. Origin: Unknown."

R1 turned back to me. "Well this will prove interesting!"

The Force Surrounds Us All [EDITED]

After talking with the lot of them for a while, they all said their respective goodbyes and headed away to their cottage-like homes.  The cyan-blue one obviously still not trusting my presence as she left. She did not like me at all.

What did I do? All I did was point the most dangerous weapon known in their faces! I didn't kill them!

...And I still apologized.

I actually had come to know about this young group much more information than I had anticipated. They were a group of ponies called , "The Elements of Harmony."

Yes corny, I know.

Apparently, they know about the force as well, but come to know it as one term, magic. Also for some reason they can wield a rainbow cannon, which I am NOT even going to bother looking into it.

Then they introduced themselves to me. For example, Fluttershy being the yellow Pegasus with a soft shade of light pink hair, and a soft, butter yellow coat. Of course, I had learned that she was the shy one of them all, (of course I had pointed my weapon at the frail one) and taking care of the local fauna that lived on this lively rock. Noted.

Then there was Pinkie Pie (funny name by the way), a pink and bubbly earth pony, who was just bursting multitudes of excitement and joyfulness. She had a curly, hot pink mane, with a slightly lighter shade of pink fur coat.

I mentally noted the fact that the largest (she's an Alicorn named Celestia I found out) being said she raises the sun. Ergo, the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my entire life. I had to suppress a laugh. She also has sibling who raises the moon, whom she said will stop in the nearest settlement soon for a holiday of some sort I presume.

But really, I mean, what is THAT? Raising the SUN AND MOON?! I would call her out for being an attention hog, but her senses said she was telling the truth. The fact is, I'm not even sure if I trust the FORCE on this one!

Anyway, the purple unicorn, whom is by the way "Twilight Sparkle" The Element of Magic, told me she would come back tomorrow for some 'questions'. Context by the way the other ones tried to hide their smiles, suggested to me that there will be more than just some questions.

Especially how that cyan one squinted her eyes and gave me a smirk... I didn't like that smirk.

I don't mind it though. She seemed nice enough, so it shouldn't be much of a problem.

After they left, I found the friendly Zebra who had taken me first in, according to their account of the 'incident'. She apparently found me with that same eye scar, and bleeding profusely. After taking me to her  home, she had found this strange concoction that would make my scar disappear, and be healthy in about a week.

I was overjoyed to say the least, that my ugly mark would disappear over the course of a few days. However it kind of scares me of how they can just make scars and wounds 'disappear' like that. I don't have any complaints though.

Sadly, now I feel bad for Skywalker since he had an eye scar, and couldn't erase it since it only works within a twenty four hour period. Lucky me, she found me about two hours later, with a (sadly) still well-intact droid.

Even though that piece of scrap metal says he's an R1, I've upgraded him so much, the republic mistakes him for an R2 unit. Although, most R2 units aren't black at all. When they call him an R2, it's all fine and dandy, but ME? If I accidently say R2, he electrocutes me for all it's worth! Don't get me started on that time in Anaxes! He also insists on calling him a 'he' even though he's technically an it!

Complaining. Not the Jedi way at all, but who cares? I'm no Jedi anymore heh, heh.

For all of his faults though, his actions does prove his worth as a trust worthy companion. Being whether setting fire to other droids (Which I find HIGHLY amusing), helping me navigate through asteroid fields, and sometimes unlocking blast doors, he knows how to pull us through tight situations.

No matter HOW annoying it may be...

To my amusement, he actually kicked it off with Pinkie Pie. Talking about... whatever it was they were talking about. I don't know. When you're barraged with a group of equines who's all trying to talk to you at once, it's hard to hear those things. Well, most of the group at least. Rainbow Dash was just trying to be as much of a pain as possible. Which, I don't mind all too much, but with her annoyance, I thought she would get along ALOT quicker with the droid than Pinkie.

Back to the present, she was sitting in a cross-legged position in the middle of the circular rug of the next room over. She did say she would meditate for a while, so I'm not all that surprised. Hmm, now that I think about it, she kind of reminds me of of Master Yoda. Only better looking.

...What? I can't say a pony is good looking? SorryYoda is old, wrinkly and ugly looking, so it's not that hard to beat him at a beauty contest. Sakes, he's over eight hundred years old!

Off topic again. My mistake.

I knocked three times on the misshapen door-frame announcing my presence. She simply opened her right eye and motioned me to come forward. I'm not that used to taking orders besides my master. But he's... well... well, none of that now.

Obeying her order, I walk into the somewhat-empty room. My boots scrunched on the rather uncomfortable rug as I walked forward.

Following her example, I sat down, and folded my legs into a meditative position. However, after five minutes of waiting, it seemed pointless, so I already set my eyes on going away again. Not a moment after these thoughts crept into my head, she began.

"Zecora's the name." she responded, closing her eye once more. "Rhyming is my game." Okay. She rhymes, this might take some getting used to. Still, that's quite adorable. "What is your name, if not being so-"

"HELLO!" shouted an over-enthusiastic certain little droid. We were apparently to wrapped up in our own devices that we didn't see the small little robot follow me in. Though, he is hard to miss.

Zecora, who I thought would me more or less the least bit surprised, was actually surprisingly calm. Though, for a fraction of a second her face scrunched in dismay. She didn't look that amused, but she was still unusually calm.

Yep! Exactly like Yoda.

I just kind of sat there watching the two of them stare down each other. Granted I can't exactly know if a droid is staring. Zecora, however, still kept the warm expression on her face that was only broken once today.

"R1 at your service!" The droid perked up, breaking the awkward silence that ensued for a few more seconds.

Not being rude to my host, I ignored my droids plea for conversation and answer, "My name is Rig."

"Rig? Short name, not too big." She replied breaking eye contact with the droid, turning to face me doing so."So much panic was around, with what you have caused."

"What do you mean?" I stared at her with a questioning look in my eyes. Couldn't believe why I would be any problem to cause mass panic.

"Well, as you can see, your metal object came crashing down," Zecora began, "In the middle of a... as Equestrians say, 'How-down'." Her head turned slightly to the opening of a window. "Over there, is where it was held. As soon as your... whatever it truly is came down, many were Frazzled."

I looked out the open window, which was giving a soft warm breeze, to a mess of swamp like trees. "Erm, where exactly?" I asked.

"The city is named Canterlot. It lies beyond the treeline. That is its spot."

After a few more minutes of conversation, which the droid didn't interrupt again, I politely excused myself and went back to the quarters in which I was assigned to. I simply through myself on the bed and lay there until sleep took its toll.

"Hello Zecora. May I come in?" Twilight Sparkle said hesitantly through a crack in the wooden door. I know I shouldn't, but I reached out with the force to read her emotions.

By her emotions, I can tell she was the slightest bit anxious. However, all my eyes were allowed to see was the slightest bit of purple behind the small slit. Good, Knowing your interrogator before interrogation. You know, for someone without the force they'd have to see them up close for a try at guessing their emotion. I've said this before and I'll say it again...

...I love the Force.

Zecora pranced up to the creaky-old door humming what I assume to be some tribal chant to herself. Nice tune by the way.

She finished off singing, "Welcome Twilight! You are always welcome, though it is only just broke light." to finish her song. A little off key, mind you, and opened the door to

She said pointing towards sunrise in her left window, to prove the point of being only daybreak.

Even with the knowledge of her emotions, I couldn't prepare myself for the flood that came my way.

I can sense her wanting to ask millions of questions from the door that acted as a dam. That look she gave me, filled with the curiosity of a feline, made me shiver just a pinch.

She walked up to me, hoof steps trailing behind, and began to look all around me, looking at my features that I held. More or less my hands and feet.

"Soooo, Rig was your name was it?" She said propping herself up with a wooden chair as she spoke softly. A quill, and notepad floating in the air.

"Rig is the name, mechanics is my game!" I said proudly. Zecora glanced over and smiled at the small rhymer I had just made, but quickly went back to meditating on the floor, reminding me again of how Yoda can easily kick it off with her.

"Mechanics?" The purple unicorn said, her ears perking up as I said this.

"Look to your left," I pointed out the sleek black astromech that had already shut down for the night. "I reassembled it from scratch, and now even rivals the mastery of the new R2 droids!"

Her lavender ear twitched. "Erm... no, I'll save that for later. For now, did you make that pile of scrap metal as well?" She laughed. Not just the awkward laughs the group shared yesterday, but rather more genuine I should say.

I numbly smiled back. "No, you can thank the senate for that." I added chuckling. "I have the brains to do so, yet in reality, I can't put a whole SHIP together!" Hiding another suppressed chuckle I folded my arms.

"So... about yesterday..."

"Hm?"

"How did you jump that high out of a cotton-fiber bed? By my calculations, you wouldn't be able to jump a mere foot!"

I thought about it for a moment, bringing my hand up to my scruffy red, Obi-Wan type beard. Judging by the council, they do chin-rubbing all the time, so this shouldn't be that different.

"Well..." I began, "Do you remember the purple aura that surrounded your..."

"-Horn?"

"Yes horn."

"Hm. It's magic, nothing much else. Wait!" She scooted in closer to me, quite a bit more excited then before. "Do YOU, perform magic as well?!" She was on the brink of exploding.

"Not exactly, you see, my species- and many other species mind you, have a connection with an all-powerful source called 'The Force'. Yet, only some can wield it at their will."

"The Force?"

I stared her straight in the face, and cupped her petit chin in my fingers. "My dear, the force surrounds us, binds us, and brings us all together. Some use it for good, some use it for evil, and this planet my dear..." I gestured in every direction, "...is full of it."

"So... what you're saying is-"

"-All of your magic is caused by something called The Force? Then yes."

I let go, and softly closed my eyes. "However, only the Jedi and Sith truly care about it now. Besides that, the Republic wants nothing but this... pointless war." Satisfied with my response, I leaned back into my pillow.

The Force tugged at me. The mood changed drastically.

"Republic?"

My eyes shot open.

Oh this is going to be a *long** day...*

There Seems To Be A Disturbance In The Force... [EDIT IN PROGRESS]

My light footsteps weren't anywhere NEAR audible over this bustling square. There was bargaining, selling, trading, and running amok. It kind of reminded me of a cantina, except instead of droids it was humans. They still give me evil eyes, fake smiles, and gasps at my form. Thankfully, after a week here, it started to die down a little. Gah, this place is prejudice. Well, I guess it could of been worse though.

Though, I have to admit... the first few days getting used to Ponyville was difficult.

First, was the apparent lacking in technology, in which my droid loathed. Half the first day he searched in vain to find a repair station, or cantina... anything to be honest. He gave up when he fell into a river and I had to fish him out. Also, the fact that we found out that the hyper-drive was practically destroyed, and since there's obviously no hyper-drive here, we both almost fainted.

Wait, can droids faint?

Second, was Pinkie Pie. The fun-loving, pink party pony She seemed nice, but became quite annoying very quickly. Especially her constant useless babble. I don't much mind that, but what really stuck in my head was the day I visited her for the first time. What happened that day was still very much imprinted in my mind...

Well, for starters it was at Sugarcube Corner. The town bakery, where she worked. She had the day off and we were sitting at a booth seat. She talked a lot, but I didn't listen much on the conversation.

"So I was like, why did you eat the c- hey, buddy? You okay?" Pinkie Pie said, breaking the nice daydream I was having about riding a rancor and crushing Seperatist droids beneath my feet. It was nice.

I shook my head and looked up, "Uh? Oh? Oh, just fine..." I said.

She appeared right by my side with a stethoscope in her hoof and pressed at my chest. "Hm! Just what I thought!" Obviously not noticing the confusion of how she moved so fast clearly evident to her she continued, "Why not have a cupcake? Cupcakes make EVERYTHING feel better!" She exclaimed rather... too happily. A grin widened across the light pink face of the ecstatic equine. Her hot-pink tail still as curly as I remember from my... little incident. Yet... something was bothering me.

"What's a cupcake?"

I shivered remembering what happened after that, and kept on walking.

I sighed, hearing more whispers and gasps. I was here for a week. A WHOLE WEEK and they still haven't gotten used to me. Oh well. I suppose it's still better than that one time on Cato Neimodia.

Then, I stopped. I... I can feel something... something nagging at me at the back of my head. I turned towards the Equestrian capitol and stared contently at the features of the spiraling buildings in the distance. There seems to be some... disturbance.

Hoping it's just me, I began walking on my route, sarcastically smiling at ponies who were still unsure of me. I hope those children will be okay...

As a large group of children led by a single adult mare led off in the distance, the sound of the three fillies arguing ensued.

*CRACK!

A sharp crack ran through the statue of the chaos lord. Thank the gods it's just a statue right?

Right?

"Heh heh heh..."

Oh dear.

Speaking of which, I also got to know the six who rescued me a lot more (not including Rainbow Dash). Besides Pinkie, I also met Rarity on the after noon of the same day.

I found the strange building in the midst of town, and was met by the same, purple-maned, white unicorn I've seen before. She smiled, and waved me in.

...Only to get mobbed by measuring tapes.

"Oh dear, you simply have to take these drab things off! Maybe something less.... raggedy."

I waved her off. "No, no, it's quite fine. These are fine."

A look of pale sickness washed over her. "But... but I..."

"Look, I already got mobbed by one of you today, I don't need another to waste their time on me."

Her smile returned, and she winked at me. "Oh, alright. Just come back if you need anything alright?"

"I promise."

I turned and walked towards the exit, but not before something caught my eye.

"Er... Rarity, what is... that?"

As the top hat on my head fell to the left a tad bit, I reached my true destination for the day.

I knock on a wooden oak door expecting some response from the town bookworm but all I get is silence. I knock again. Again. Aga-

"SPIKE WOULD YOU PLEASE GET THAT?" There it is. There's the yell we know and love. The door opened to reveal a sickly (mostly tired) little purple dragon. Feel bad for the guy, but that's not really my issue.

"Hello Spike, may I come in?"

"Uuh, sure I guess." The baby dragon responded. I swear though, he doesn't SOUND like a baby, he knows how to use the RESTROOM.

Logic rage aside, he stepped to the side allowing me passage and I walked through.

This is still how I remember it. Cluttered and full of books. The Golden Oaks Library is still where I go most, partly for getting off this rock, but also to learn about this new species of intelligent life forms.

I take a glance upward to see Twilight on a step-ladder trying her best to tidy up this place. I rub my beard instinctively. "Hello up there!" I said nonchalantly.

She yelped and slipped off the top of the ladder, falling towards the floor. I simply gestured to her mass and stopped her mid-flight. "You have to learn to be more careful." I said cheerfully, finally putting down the squirming Unicorn.

"Sorry," She said blushing, "Just tidyi-"

"I know."

She stared at me, almost judgingly, while I just flashed a goofy grin back. After about five seconds, she sighed and went back to book-hunting... or cleaning. Either one really.

Wait... there it is again. That strange, disturbing sensation was back. I cocked my head towards the window to see if anything was- "COME BACK HERE YOU!" A blue Pegasus zoomed around in the air chasing a... pink cloud?

"Umm... Twilight?"

"Yes?"

"You might want to take a look at this..." I pointed to the now sea of pink clouds swarming around. Then... chocolate rain. Well, there goes logic I suppose!

Also, how do I know what chocolate is you might ask? I can tell you one thing, after an afternoon of sweets getting stuffed into your mouth I think I know quite well what that is.

Sorry, lost track for a bit.

However, instead of being worried, which to be honest I thought she was, she laughed. I tilted my head sideways in confusion. She then levitated a book in front of me. "I have a new spell that can fix everything."

Like that, a Unicorn, a Dragon, and a book disappeared in a flash. How do they move so fast? I sighed again and slumped over on a wooden bench in the library.

Should I help them? I said to myself. My eyes set on the recently cleaned window again, watching all the chaos taking fold outside.

Well... I do have a chance cube here... I stood up, then took the small game-piece from the pocket situated in the side of my robe. "Blue: I help. Red: Sidelines and laugh."

I rolled.

Well, blast.

Unexplained Phenomenon

I watched through the glass window as the purple unicorn sprinted down the main Ponyville road. It scares me sometimes how fast that they react to such things, and how fast they are able to move even without the help of The Force.

With a sigh, I pick myself and my dark brown cloak from the oak-bench. I know this is called the, "Golden Oaks Library" but does everything have to be made of oak?! Then again, I never heard of the word before I got here, but they were quick to get me up to speed.

FLASHBACK:

"So, you see Rig, that is a timber wolf, and the tree we are in at the moment is called an oak tree- Hey, are you listening?!"

"Huh? Wha?

"Tell me, what did you learn today?"

"So... many... CUPCAKES."

Anyway, I fix my top hat (which looks ravishing by the way) and make my way to the door. Stepping on a few metal nails with the bottom of my boots. I swear, how in blazing's name do the walk around without puncture wounds?

Magic I guess. Everything that's hard to explain in this strange world immediately goes to one fault: Magic.

Well, whatever you call it, I truly know it's the force. No matter how weird.

With a little flick of my hands, I open the half-spherical wooden hinged door and let the afternoon light engulf me. Letting the smell of chocolate and cotton candy invade my nose.

Yep, this is an insane world.

I walked through the streets of the modest sized town, with ponies running about screaming their heads off. MY, they're skittish. Every step I took was joined with the running of some long- legged white creatures, and a splash of chocolate from a puddle.

This chaotic, *ahem, 'disaster' is nothing more than a joke. No one's being harmed, so what's the problem exactly? Ok, so some ponies lives have just gotten a bit more hectic, but so what? Are they all going to drown in chocolate sauce?

No. No they are not.

I am worrying for them, but not for death reasons, but more so of personal belongings and airlooms being damaged.

Speaking of which, I wonder how Ms. Zecora is doing, let's reach out with the force shall we?

Zecora stood in a meditative state reminding Rig of Master Yoda. R1 was also there, actually being silent for once.

Suddenly, without warning, all the items, potions, etc. that adorned her walls came down with one big CRA-

-"Ah.... yes... better not look into that right now."

Picking up the pace, I wander aimlessly in the direction Twilight went, not in a rush at all. Some could say this is a crisis, but I'd more call it a day off. Just a... tad confusing.

Alright, my day started off norm- well, semi-normal, and now it's slowly descending into more and more chaos. Still, no casualties on the battlefield. Nothing to be afraid about-

*Crunch.

I had to open my mouth.

"OW." I yelped. The pain in my hand spreading shockwaves through my nerves.

While I was dazing about, my long legged friend snuck up on me, and bit my poor little hand. Quite hard actually. Buck teeth and all.

Broken?

I flex my hand, followed by a sickening crack.

Yep. Broken.

I spun around and used the force with my one good hand to throw the rabbit into the next dimension.

Or, rather flagpole.

With a reddened mark on my hand, and a bemused expression I continue on my voyage. With more of those rabbit creatures running past me from time to time.

The broken hand doesn't bother me much. In fact, I went up against a LEGION of battle droids once with a broken leg. It wasn't fun I can assure you, but I survived at the least.

Hey look! A pony has finally started rounding up those cotton candy clouds! About time they showed some strength and did something about it! A pegasi no doubt as well.

Huh, a rope too?

...

Well, I have to say I'm one stupid person to not say this sooner, but it looks like Ms. Farmer and Ms. Hissy fit are doing the job for me. How considerate. I was going to, an easy task at the least, but hey, I'm not complaining. Less work for the human.

I start to rub my scruffy red beard in confusion. I don't know why I didn't notice this before, but those tiny wings CANNOT support their body mass. It seems like I'm nitpicking here, but that bothers me.

The pink clouds are all shaped within a blob of chocolate-sugar mush, placed directly in the farming establishment about a half mile away.

I'd also like to point out that all the ugly animal things were running towards that piece of pink... cholesterol ridden, fluff of sugar, with brown liquids soaked in.

Ya know, I like sweet things, we didn't have much in the jedi temple- correction, we didn't have any. When I came to this cute little world, I was basically forced into- no I was forced into eating sweet things.

But that just sounds sickening. No matter how backwards this world is. Soggy cotton? Ugh. The texture sounds appalling.

It's apparently doing the trick though, seeing how all the animals are kept busy with the  pink stuff and the...

What's that stuff called, corn? What happened to i-

You know what? I'm not even going to start. It's doing the trick.

I brush of my hands and sigh. "Well, I think the worst of it is over but-"

*SHOOM.

"Come. With. Now." A blue blur said, picking me up and taking me at a blinding speed. I think we can all safely say who it is.

Can't I just have a normal day?