//-------------------------------------------------------// "Fuck You, Twilight" and Other Poems by The Prolific and Eloquent Trixie -by alexmagnet- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// Fuck You, Twilight //-------------------------------------------------------// Fuck You, Twilight Fuck You, Twilight by alexmagnet Fuck you, Twilight And not just because you're one half of SpiLight Fuck you, Twilight Bitch, you came to my show and stole the limelight Fuck you, Twilight Now I know your momma taught you that ain't right Fuck you, Twilight Because no matter how far I run from your sight I can't keep you out of my bed every damn night. //-------------------------------------------------------// Grrl //-------------------------------------------------------// Grrl Grrl by Pav Feira (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Pav+Feira) Twilight grrl U so fine Fine like wine I'ma dine On your purple lovin' Nerd ain't bluffin' Damn it's tough t'be Resistin' that plot Gallop, don't trot Lovin' her lots Want her to feel the great and powerful Dem flanks, all natural, no bull Hoops that I'ma jump and tricks that I’ma pull Justa nuzzle dat Snuggle dat Freakin' dat Grrl //-------------------------------------------------------// Hubris //-------------------------------------------------------// Hubris Hubris by GaPJaxie (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/GaPJaxie) Alone in the Everfree, Cold and alone, under a starless sky, Cast out by my own hubris, And a mighty purple mare, Bridges burned, maybe forever, Under the wheels of my cart, Should have checked if she was into biting first. Still hot. //-------------------------------------------------------// Showstopper //-------------------------------------------------------// Showstopper Showstopper by IceboxFroggie (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/IceboxFroggie) That purple horse bitch Always ruining my shows Please die in a hole //-------------------------------------------------------// Seein' Red //-------------------------------------------------------// Seein' Red Seein' Red by alexmagnet There once was a mare from Ponyville. She had eyes and a horn that’d give you quite a thrill. But then she went and showed me up. Beat that Ursa Minor up. Now the mere sight of her makes me want to kill. //-------------------------------------------------------// What a Great Grate //-------------------------------------------------------// What a Great Grate What a Great Grate by Pearple Prose (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Pearple+Prose) There once was Trixie the Great, Who was really really quite Great, Like, compared to Twilight the not-so-Great, She was quite possibly the Greatest Great to ever grate. //-------------------------------------------------------// Saturday //-------------------------------------------------------// Saturday Saturday by Pav Feira (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Pav+Feira) Twilight Sparkle, the source of my hate. She's not powerful, and she's not great. So why must my ire, Turn into desire? We're meeting at her place at eight. //-------------------------------------------------------// Breeze //-------------------------------------------------------// Breeze Breeze by alexmagnet Purple unicorn. Mane blowing soft in the breeze. So I say, Fuck you. //-------------------------------------------------------// Detective Phelps //-------------------------------------------------------// Detective Phelps Detective Phelps by Pav Feira (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Pav+Feira) She lives in a tree Burn it down, no survivors Maybe she'll call me? //-------------------------------------------------------// Rut Rut in a Butt //-------------------------------------------------------// Rut Rut in a Butt Rut Rut in a Butt by Pearple Prose (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Pearple+Prose) A filly named Trixie was stuck in a rut. She spent all of her time, Coming up with bad rhymes, And thinking of Twiley's plump butt. //-------------------------------------------------------// Mixed Signals //-------------------------------------------------------// Mixed Signals Mixed Signals by IceboxFroggie (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/IceboxFroggie) Twilight might have pretty eyes A well-kept mane and toned thighs But she comes to my shows And I get caught in the throes And I want to fuck her And kill her //-------------------------------------------------------// Trixie Saves the Day //-------------------------------------------------------// Trixie Saves the Day Trixie Saves the Day by IceboxFroggie (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/IceboxFroggie) There once was a mare named Twilight Sparkle Her rival, Trixie, was better and smarter than her She could always beat her in a game of Farkle And Trixie wondered if Twilight was a good kisser One day, Trixie went to Twilight’s library It was Twilight’s home, where she lived and slept And as Trixie entered the sanctuary She saw Twilight sitting there as she wept Trixie, being as valiant as she was Rushed over to her to see the problem Twilight sniffled, and started her tale, “Because when you left, I felt bad because I left you jobless.” And Trixie leaned in, took Twilight’s head And whispered in her ear, “Let’s go to bed.” //-------------------------------------------------------// Trixie is the Most Great and Powerful //-------------------------------------------------------// Trixie is the Most Great and Powerful Trixie is the Most Great and Powerful by RazgrizS57 (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/RazgrizS57) Great and powerful, that’s who Trixie is Trixie is so darn great and powerful Twilight is not as great or powerful Trixie is much more great and powerful //-------------------------------------------------------// Membership //-------------------------------------------------------// Membership Membership by Obselescence (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Obselescence) HOW DO I LOVE THEE, TWILIGHT? LET ME COUNT THE WAYS AND THE INCHES ON THY MONSTROUS COCK UPON WHICH I NIGHTLY SUCK. THY GIRTH IS GREAT I CANNOT HATE UPON THINE BLOATED PENILE PATE IT TASTES QUITE DIVINE I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S ALL MINE AND I DREAM EVERY DAY OF WHEN I MIGHT DINE. BUT BEFORE THAT HAPPENS I MUST TELL THAT THO' I MAY NOW GO TO HELL I WILL NOT UNCAST THAT FUTA SPELL //-------------------------------------------------------// I'll Miss You Like Hell //-------------------------------------------------------// I'll Miss You Like Hell I'll Miss You Like Hell by IceboxFroggie (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/IceboxFroggie) Twilight, Twilight, Twilight The skies are dark tonight No stars are shining, and the moon is new But it still means nothing without you I tried my hardest to cope But it got even harder as time went on At this point, I’ve lost all hope At home, all of the curtains are drawn I miss you like hell This isn’t getting easy But whatever comes next I’ll always love you, sweetie //-------------------------------------------------------// Ode à la Mode //-------------------------------------------------------// Ode à la Mode Ode à la Mode by Pearple Prose (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Pearple+Prose) Oh, Twilight, You seething cockbite. You are as ugly as an ugly thing, Like I dunno, Apple Bloom trying to sing, Your face makes my heart explode, As does this retarded ode. Look, just die okay? (But I bet you'd be a nice lay) Oh, Bellatrix Go back to your pit and suck dicks. //-------------------------------------------------------// Addendum //-------------------------------------------------------// Addendum Addendum by GaPJaxie (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/GaPJaxie) Once there was a pony who all the crowds favored, Honored with story and song, A star whose followers never wavered, A fandom a million hooves strong. You see that great pony, won her fans love, With but a single great act, While you, Twilight Sparkle, needed your own show, You’re overplayed—it’s sad, but a fact. You’re a cheap Mary Sue, written to win, Gave you wings just to get you out of a rut, Made you royalty just so your act would seem special, But hey, at least you’ve got a cute butt. Also, fuck you. //-------------------------------------------------------// "M'lady" //-------------------------------------------------------// "M'lady" "M'lady" by Pearple Prose (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Pearple+Prose) One day Twilight opened the door, To find Trixie standing in a suit of velour. She gave her a smirk, Looked like a berk, And upon her head sat a fedor(a) //-------------------------------------------------------// Elegance //-------------------------------------------------------// Elegance Elegance by GaPJaxie (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/GaPJaxie) Consider the pony named Twilight Sparkle, Whose spells are both mighty and artful, Her spells were sublime, her body divine, Oh no wait, that’s me, Fuck you. I’m Trixie. //-------------------------------------------------------// A Comfortable Seat //-------------------------------------------------------// A Comfortable Seat A Comfortable Seat by Pav Feira (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Pav+Feira) Egghead princess? Please. Should've been me, or maybe I'll rule at her side? //-------------------------------------------------------// Truth //-------------------------------------------------------// Truth Truth by GaPJaxie (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/GaPJaxie) Twilight Sparkle gets such satisfaction, Out of thinking she’s the star attraction, But I let my anger disperse, when I recall her geek curse, That purple rump doesn’t get any action. //-------------------------------------------------------// A Certain Need //-------------------------------------------------------// A Certain Need A Certain Need by Obselescence (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Obselescence) NO THERE IS NO SEXUAL TENSION I CAN SAY THAT WITHOUT APPREHENSION SURE SHE GETS ME WET BUT I WON'T GIVE IN YET ...I NEED HER BEYOND COMPREHENSION //-------------------------------------------------------// Ode to a Lovestruck Horse //-------------------------------------------------------// Ode to a Lovestruck Horse Ode to a Lovestruck Horse by IceboxFroggie (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/IceboxFroggie) Time for an ode from the pony who knows You gotta be hip when it comes to magic This is about a horse in the throes Loving on me, the hero, it’s tragic She hasn’t figured it out yet, but she’s infatuated Never seen or felt this, so she’s confused It’s totally normal for it to happen, that I can tell she’s so captivated By my mane, my walk, my talk, my slick moves But, damn, I need to get to tappin’ that //-------------------------------------------------------// The Bestest //-------------------------------------------------------// The Bestest The Bestest by RazgrizS57 (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/RazgrizS57) Trixie, she is the bestest and most great and powerful mare who was e'er alive. Nopony could match her, even by fate; Nopony could match her magical strive. Then along came that purple unicorn who challenged the greatest and powerful. Her audacity to come up and scorn Trixie would bring only her own downfall. Trixie planned to get back at that wretched unicorn at her very own games. Trixie'd play her a fool, make her dejected, and prove to all she had the bestest brains. But one night, while Miss. Sparkle slept sweet dreams, Trixie snuck into her humble tree place. Armed with a pillow to stifle the screams, she went up and held it down on her face. //-------------------------------------------------------// Twilight //-------------------------------------------------------// Twilight Twilight by Obselescence (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Obselescence) THERE ONCE WAS A PONY NAMED TWILIGHT GOSH I HATE THE NAME TWILIGHT SHE RUINED MY SHOW AND THAT REALLY BLOWS DID I MENTION THAT I HATE TWILIGHT //-------------------------------------------------------// LOST //-------------------------------------------------------// LOST LOST by Pav Feira (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Pav+Feira) I'm lost in her eyes Violet windows, loving soul Hate that bitch so much //-------------------------------------------------------// From, Not Of //-------------------------------------------------------// From, Not Of From, Not Of by Burraku_Pansa (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Burraku_Pansa) Wealthy, worldly start Drowning in advantages How could she want more? Powerful and smart Greatness in the air I breathe How could she want more? Master of my art Magic swirling in my grasp How could she want more? Ruler of her heart Her Highness bows down to me How could she want more? Tearing me apart This fire for her, for us two How could I want more? Woke two hours too late Did she not think to stir me? The day continues Mane a frightful state Another hour for combing The day continues Never get it straight No matter—it’s close enough The day continues Appetite to sate Dragon better have my lunch The day continues Am I gaining weight? If I am, I make it hot The day continues Nearly to our date Guess I’ll have a light dinner The day continues Wait and wait and wait She forgot our special day? The life continues What gives you the right? Do you realize who I am? We’re done after this Neverending fight Just shut the fuck up, you whore! We’re done after this On into the night And you call me arrogant? We’re done after this No I’m not alright! I gave up a life for you! We’re done after this Kill yourself, Twilight I just can’t take any more I’m done after this //-------------------------------------------------------// Confusion //-------------------------------------------------------// Confusion Confusion by Qazarar (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Qazarar) Her mane with that lone strip of pink She makes it far too hard to think I really should hate her I think I would date her I guess I really need a drink. //-------------------------------------------------------// Twilight Sparkle //-------------------------------------------------------// Twilight Sparkle Twilight Sparkle by Chono (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/chono) The day shifts to night: Twilight. Bitch ruined my Life: Twilight The glint of a bit: Sparkle Complete waste of space: Sparkle //-------------------------------------------------------// Twixie //-------------------------------------------------------// Twixie Twixie by TheAuthorGl1m0 (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/TheAuthorGl1m0) Twilight, I don't want to say I love it Why not, you ask, the answer is too far I don't really care about your skill, I Love only who you are; although the sex I must confess, is pretty lacking Twi Getting together like this isn't rare How did we end up like this, anyway? Twilight, why do you have a dick now? //-------------------------------------------------------// Comparisons //-------------------------------------------------------// Comparisons Comparisons by TheAuthorGl1m0 (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/TheAuthorGl1m0) Trixie Is tricks-y, But Twilight Is not. //-------------------------------------------------------// Wheels //-------------------------------------------------------// Wheels Wheels by TheAuthorGl1m0 (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/TheAuthorGl1m0) The Great and Powerful rode in on a wagon With firm intent on ordering a flagon Her vessel had a fumble She took a bad tumble And found those accursed wheels a'braggin'. //-------------------------------------------------------// All That Which has Been Left in Abandon //-------------------------------------------------------// All That Which has Been Left in Abandon All That Which has Been Left in Abandon by RazgrizS57 (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/RazgrizS57) Trixie’s career as a master of art. The large vacancy in Twilight Sparkle's head. Trixie’s feelings and emotional heart. A hydra’s stomach just waiting to be fed. Trixie’s once prideful sense of self-esteem. Her wallet, calendar, a comforting thought. A shoulder for crying, a place to scream. Hard to admit: Twilight's immaculate plot. //-------------------------------------------------------// Re: My Horn //-------------------------------------------------------// Re: My Horn Re: My Horn by TheAuthorGl1m0 (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/TheAuthorGl1m0) Horn. You know you like it. Blue. See how blue it is? Like a horn. Which it is. My horn. //-------------------------------------------------------// There Once Came a Trixie //-------------------------------------------------------// There Once Came a Trixie There Once Came a Trixie by TheAuthorGl1m0 (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/TheAuthorGl1m0) Around the great mountains, she came All with a cart and magic robe in tow She was a mare of great and powerful fame And wouldn't you know it Trixie was her name. She didn't stay for long, sad to say A mare of action, always in the flow Trixie claimed she would return someday; "But first things first Twilight Sparkle must pay." Much time has passed, since her debut When they all watched her go Though all still love her, if only a few Even as she spoke aloud "Well, fuck you too." //-------------------------------------------------------// Self- Advice //-------------------------------------------------------// Self- Advice Self-Advice by FloydienSlip (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/FloydienSlip) Who are you that catches my eye? I Who are you that wanders in sesame? Me But what is your name, O purple mare? Air Cursèd vision that doth my eyes fool! Fool How dare you mock the Great and Grand! And Powerful, too, as she did foretell. Tell She was who you were not, it appears. Ears Lovely things, as soft as pillow down. Down To me she did turn, though it hurts to say. Say I told I her I loved her, no less and no more. More And I said she’d be mine, forever and now. Now I walk by my lonesome, heart cleaved in twain. Wane I love her today, though for her I know not. Not You think?! Tell me, quickly, for I cannot bear! E’er At last! I knew it! But what shall I do? Do Have sex? That’s fine by me. Thank you. Ew //-------------------------------------------------------// If I //-------------------------------------------------------// If I If I by Ambion (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/ambion) If I were futa-Trixie, I’d shut your fucking face with my gigantic dick, see, You might get it in your eye. If I were futa-Trixie With a hate-hardon for you I would make you have a taste Futa-Trixie laying waste. If I were futa-Trixie pummeling that purple plot My cannon-cock, the wrath-wang Did you expect a rhyme, bitch? If I am Twilight Sparkle, Which I am, then don’t you think I know how to cast that spell? Guess what? I do! Fuck you. //-------------------------------------------------------// Haiku //-------------------------------------------------------// Haiku Haiku by RazgrizS57 (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/RazgrizS57) Oh, Twilight Sparkle! Wonder how I love you so? Let me count the ways: //-------------------------------------------------------// A Singular Combination //-------------------------------------------------------// A Singular Combination A Singular Combination by Burraku_Pansa (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Burraku_Pansa) Opening night comes, like always, with new faces, eyes, hearts, floating in the bursting light. Memory takes a knife to me. There was a face I met once, a set of eyes, a heart, set far apart from all the rest on the winding trail. Singular in nature, she was a combination so bewitching there could be no truth in it. Half button, half a snub nose, muzzle poised to blast a quip— witty tongue a lashing whip to set my teeth a’gnashing. Passion sugared stings to such a bracing sour, but the wounds didn’t age well. Comfort rubbed the lye in then stripped the nerves till I soured on sour, too. And there’s a powerful gravity I’d known in those eyes in the young light, when she didn’t know my mind was as there as my body. It pulled at me, that set of sunbeams on my back, closer and deeper, crushing with a padded vice until I was too small to recognize. Blacked and blued and bleeding, but comfortable. Comfortable. Comfortable, comfortable. Comfortable in the pattern, the movements, the standing wave goodbye that must have reverberated back to her. Must have. Must have known it in her heart without my saying so because I didn’t say it, so… She just must have known. Or we both felt it— the barren divide. I wouldn’t put it past a heart like that. A heart that knows— -its master -what its master wants -what its master has A heart that knows how to weigh the points and see the want in what it has and know the want it doesn’t and doesn’t want the wanting thing to hold it back like always. Yes, it must have known. Must have seen. Magic and wishes and glitter and fire and bruises can’t turn soil into a harvest when there’s not a seed to be sown. And no seed would do if there weren’t a face, a set of eyes, and a heart selling it. And if that law was in her like I know it was— like I know it must have been because I knew it on her face, because I knew it in her eyes, because I knew it in my heart— then why do I have to recall her combination every time? Everywhere I go? Whenever I look out into the motes of life before my stage? Wherever I hear the quick, rapturous beating and the struck gasp? They say absence makes the heart grow fonder and they say the guilty see their victims around every corner, but they say I’ll gather no moss as long as I keep rolling. Can they all be right? Closing time for the night. I think I’ll leave this town a bit sooner than I’d planned. //-------------------------------------------------------// My Mistress' Eyes are Inconsistent //-------------------------------------------------------// My Mistress' Eyes are Inconsistent My Mistress' Eyes are Inconsistent by Burraku_Pansa (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Burraku_Pansa) My mistress’ eyes might be her strongest trait, The way the soul behind them seems to glow. One hungry glance is all she needs to throw To wobble knees with otherworldly weight. My mistress’ mane is so beautifully straight, Like fragrant grass in row by precise row— But such perfection nature’d never grow As the hairs here headed on my heady mate. Oh, but there’s so much more to my dear, darling Twilight: Seeing through the gleaming eyes, looking past the silky hair, This magician recognizes quite a magic-minded mare. How else could come the energy to last all through the night, Be she up late minding homework with her characteristic care Or engaged with yours truly in some far more lusty affair? My mistress’ eyes are purple, dull, and plain; It’s such a common color, mine are the same! And don’t even get me started on her mane; I mean, pink stripes? You can’t get much more lame. A pigeon’s wings, a foul mule’s face, A rump filled out with fat perfectly wrong. She’s lucky she looks so good in lace, Or I’m sure we’d never get along. Her maker must’ve thought, “Why stop at that?” Because her personality is just as bad: Today she almost smacked me—such a brat! What did I even do to make her mad? A less fortunate filly would pray for the luck To have a marefriend who tells her how not to suck. My mistress’ eyes are too much like the sun, Angry, bright, and fiery—I should run. ~~Dramatic much, chasing me from our home?~~ ~~To hear her yell, you’d think I broke a law;~~ ~~Really, it was such a childish fit to pitch.~~ ~~What’d she expect, reading that other poem?~~ ~~This is my place to lay my feelings raw;~~ ~~Not my fault if some days she’s a bitch.~~ ~~…But what if she reads thi~~ That Twilight, she’s a girl with endless passion! Her voice is music heard for miles around! She’s sensitive, and oh so very youthful! Loves poetry—loves all romantic fashion! Her empathy never fails to astound! If she calls me names, she’s only being truthful!