Sabre the Foalsitter

by lockheed

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Cake Twins, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character
Length: 1717

What happens when a teenage pony with the 3rd Armored Division of the Equestrian Army has to watch the Cake twins? Well, here's the answer.

Sabre Rattle is a sixteen year old colt and the step-son of R.E.A.F. Major General James Jones. Within a week he survived an air raid, got a recording contract, and enlisted in the Royal Equestrian Army's new 3rd Armored Division. Now a specialist fifth class he must face his biggest challenge yet...watching the Cake twins.

This story is a side story to The Jolly Rogers. It isn't necessary to but it is recommended to read The Jolly Rogers before reading this. Cover art by sourichan

Published 2014-04-08 21:30:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-08 21:30:04 UTC

1: Sabre the Foalsitter

Above Ponyville the sky was nothing but uninterrupted blue. Not a cloud in sight. Amongst the crowds of ponies out and about in the town square was a young unicorn stallion in his new army uniform. Sabre Rattle, who had become the talk of his school by not just having a human step-father, but also for getting a record contract and enlisting in the military within one week slowly trotted through town. Not very much had been going on at home that day and with nothing else to do he set off into town. As the day dragged on he began to notice his stomach growling. “Alright, we’ll get something.” He said to his growling gut. Turning a corner he walked the one block to Sugarcube Corner which only had a few customers.

“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner, can I help you?” The mare behind the counter asked as Sabre trotted up to the counter.

“Um, just give me a cupcake.”

“Coming right up dear.”

The light blue mare trotted towards the back but a few moments later a yellow stallion with an orange mane trotted downstairs with two crying foals. Approaching the young soldier he looked at him and it was obvious to Sabre it had been a while since the stallion had had a brake.

“Have you seen my wife?”

“She just went in the back. Want me to watch them for you?”

“Well I wouldn’t want to impose…”

“It’s not a problem.”

“Well, alright. Pound, Pumpkin, be good little foals for the nice soldier while I go get mommy.”

He set the foals down at Sabre’s hooves and hurriedly trotted to the back. Looking down at the two crying foals in front of him Sabre began thinking of ideas to get the foals to calm down. “Alright Sabre, think.” He mumbled to himself as the foals wailed louder. Suddenly an idea came to him and he hurriedly sat down on the floor.

“Alright kids. How’s about a song huh?”

The foals’ continued crying but it was slightly less now that they had somepony to distract them. Sabre cleared his throat and began to calmly sing a song to the young foals.

The two young ponies had stopped crying and now sat staring at Sabre who simply chuckled at them. A sudden movement got his attention and he looked up to see the Cakes dumbfounded at the site.

“How did you manage to calm them down?”

“I sang to them. That normally calms kids down right?”

“It’s never worked on Pound and Pumpkin before though. What’s your name?”

“I’m Sabre Rattle sir.”

“Well Sabre, our normal foalsitter is in Manehattan for the next couple of days. Would you mind watching the twins tonight while we go to Canterlot for a competition in the morning? We can pay you fifty bits for the night.”

“Fifty bits? You have a deal.”

~~~~~
10:00 p.m.
December 9, 1986
~~~~~

Sabre sat flipping through a magazine in the living room of the apartment above the bakery when his stomach began growling again. Putting down the magazine he trotted into the kitchen he made a quick tomato sandwich and was about to take a bit when the sudden sound of crying down the hall. “Ai-air raid!” He hollered to himself as he galloped towards the twins’ room and he hurriedly scooped them up. “What’s wrong huh? Ah, I got it. You two are hungry aren’t ya?” He carried them into the kitchen and placed them in their highchairs. As he hurried to open the fridge he began to jerk on the handle to open the door which suddenly flung open and sent the bottles of baby formula smashing to the floor.

“Waah, see what you made me do!” He snapped at them in a mocking tone about their crying.

But Sabre had forgotten was that he had set his sandwich on one of the highchairs and a young pegasus had his sights on it. As he turned to look at them he saw Pound trying to eat his sandwich and Pumpkin seemingly rooting him on. Hurrying over he grabbed the sandwich which caused Pound to hold on tighter and begin crying again.

“Now give it to your Uncle Sabre.” Pausing for a moment he remembered the manual he had read. “Army manual section forty three; when in hoof-to-hoof combat with the enemy, apply judo chop to the back of the neck. Boy, if you were my size…”

He managed to get the sandwich free but Pound flew up out of his highchair after him. Dodging the small pegasus he held onto his sandwich and looked around for the tan colored projectile. “You can fly?! Now that ain’t fair! Your parents never mentioned that!” He yelled to the pegasus who seemed to be hiding somewhere in the room. Looking up from his spot on the floor he saw Pumpkin levitating herself out of her highchair with her magic and joining her brother in the air. Suddenly Pound dive-bombed him again and Sabre decided to give up his sandwich and made a mad dash for the phone.

“Hello operator, give me the Moonbeam Café. And hurry.”

Trotting in place Sabre waited for somepony to answer. Finally the barkeep answered and Sabre hurriedly told him to give the phone to Brush Stroke who had gotten a winter job as a waitress there.

“Yes?”

“Hey Brush Stroke it’s me. Listen, I’m watching the Cake twins and their bottles broke and it’s just a huge mess and I need help.”

“Alright. Bring them over to my house and I’ll help you out.”

Sabre hung up the phone and grabbed the twins with his magic. Placing them back in their highchairs he began pushing them towards the living room and the twins began to cry again. “You two make more noise than a tank.” He mumbled to them as he looked around for the stroller he had seen somewhere in the room. Finally he found it and made sure to strap the twins in so they couldn’t get away. He levitated the stroller down the stairs and outside. Shutting the door he hurriedly pushed the stroller down the street towards Brush Stroke’s house. After twenty minutes he reached the house on the edge of Ponyville where Brush Stroke lived. Knocking on her door he waited with the crying foals. Suddenly the door opened and light flooded out onto the snowy street.

“Get them in here before they catch a cold.” Brush Stroke said from the doorway. Sabre floated the stroller up the stairs and into the house. The powder blue pegasus led him to the living room of the house. “Now wait here while I get a couple of bottles.” She said with a smile and trotted away for the kitchen. “Are you sure they don’t just need their diapers changed?” Brush Stroke asked from the kitchen.

“I haven’t had that problem yet.” He leaned over the stroller and sniffed above the foals. “At least I don’t think I have.”

Brush Stroke returned from the kitchen with two bottles, one balanced on each wing. Sabre took the bottles and gave them to the two crying infants who greedily drank away the contents. “Aww. They’re so cute! Why haven’t you brought them over before?” Brush Stoke cooed over the two foals.

“Because I just agreed to be the sitter for tonight.”

“Well they’re sure cute. Sabre?” Brush Stroke asked as she sat down on the couch with him. “Why did you call me?”

Sabre thought for a moment before he shrugged his shoulders. “I just didn’t know who else to call. You were the first pony to come to mind.”

“I’m flattered that you thought of me. My parents wouldn’t be happy if they knew the foals of the only other bakers in town were in their house.”

“Yeah. Speaking of them. Where are your parents?”

“They had something going on in Canterlot tonight so I got the house to myself. I like your uniform. First time I’ve seen you in it.” She said as she ran her hoof around the 3rd Armored Division patch on the sleeve.

Brush Stroke leaned against Sabre and they watched the two foals drink until they fell asleep. “I think I have some left over apple strudel in the refrigerator if you want some.” Brush Stroke said as the small clock on the mantle chimed midnight. “Naw. I really ought to get these two home while they’re still asleep.”

“Well I’ll get a blanket for them then.” Brush Stroke said as she got up and headed for the hall closet.

As soon as she was around the corner Sabre began to gently poke Pound Cake with his hoof. “Come on buddy, I need you to do me this one favor.” Pound stirred from his slumber and began to cry which awoke his sister who began to cry with him. A gentle thud was heard as the blanket Brush Stroke was carrying dropped to the floor. She hurried into the room with a grin. “I’ll refill their bottles and warm up the strudel.” The mare said giddily as the thought of spending the whole night with her coltfriend gave her a burst of energy. She trotted into the kitchen with the two bottles and returned a minute later. Giving them to the crying foals she sat back down next to Sabre.

“Guess I should stay the night just in case huh?” Sabre asked her as she snuggled up to him again. She gave a small “mmhmm” and they watched the two small ponies suck at the bottles. “The strudel’s in the oven.” Brush Stroke said as Sabre got up to light the fireplace to provide some more heat to the room. He sat back down and wrapped his arm around her. “So what do we do now?” Sabre asked her as the fire crackled in front of them. There was another shrug from Brush Stroke. “Well I know one thing we could do.” She said with a sly smile.

“You don’t mean?”

“If you want.”

“If this is all it takes I may need to borrow these kids more often.” Sabre said as she led him towards her room. “Wonder if the Cakes would want a nightly sitter?”