My Little Disney: Music is Magicby Brony_of_BrodyChapters72. Ol' Ms. Harshwhinny74. HAPPY Holiday76. With A Bear4. The Scare Necessities5. Prince Blueblood6. Chimicherry, Cherrychanga8. What Made the Head Pony Head9. Cabbages10. Bends To the Other Side11. Drama You can Bring12. Let Him Plow14. We Multiply15. Can you Feed the Doves Tonight?16. What a Day in Ponyville17. Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts on Explosions19. We've Got No Things21. The Bees From The Cart23. Know When to Fold 'Em Applebloom24. Why You Don't Do Flight25. Why'd You Like Curry?26. Grim, Gritty, Gross28. Bring Back Springtime (Guest Submission by lionaxel)30. Be Declared31. The Brony King In Media32. (Sweetie) Belle34. One Little Kip35. The Wonderful Thing About Fingers36. A Dream of a Fish and Cupcakes37. Hurt Me Right40. The Drummer41. Let's Go Buy A Pint42. I Split a Seam44. Someday My Bits Will Come46. Don't Like Me47. Everypony Has A Rapping Place48. Hurling My Wife49. Much Too Early51. When We're Griffons53. Witty Or Trite55. The Dragon Code Matters57. A Troll New World59. I Wanna Pee Like You60. Bothering The Teacher61. The Crime Of My Life62. Dangers Like These64. Button65. You Gotta Blend With Me66. Think Evidence On Parade67. Ship-A-Dee-Doo-Dah69. A Mare Worth Smiting More70. Holding my Breath71. Lather And Suds79. One Mug Ahead80. Upon The Oddest Dreams81. Mishap Off Sandy Shores82. Walk About84. Lie On Lie85. The Books Of Golden Oaks86. My Name Is Lame87. There's Doom For Everyone89. Dull And Bland91. Bucking That Tree93. Pie-Diddle-Dee-Dee94. I Thought My Boss Knew97. Are You Skipping Town98. Ready All Your Betting Sums99. Appalled By This TogetherThe 100th Chapter Spectacularmathon! With Applejack103. And Twice They Did Explode104. Perfect Dragon105. Whistle While You Lurk106. Secret Writing Libel109. Yes, My Plot Is...110. Totally Hurled (Guest Submission by Le_DragonBroneE)111. The Gala Of Canterlot Castle112. Give Me The Pimple Knife114. Breaking Things115. True To Your Chart116. No Payout119. We Can Pry120. Ambulance122. When Can I Eat Things Again?125. This Is How I Clean126. Sheets And Rolls130. Night Light131. Build A Little Missile133. Mah Swell Avenger Cream134. Quite Harmfully135. I Love The Bath137. Mustard139. Crazy Vines140. Carrying The Planner141. Short And Pitiful143. More Than A Scheme144. After Toupees145. The Pressure Is A Horrible Thing146. M-I-L-D147. Struma-Plucka-Whistle-Toot-Kazoo149. Can't Climb Back Down151. In Ninja Company155. Remedies156. Get'cha Head Out That Hole158. Everything Is Wrong159. Unhappy Scooping Song160. I Never Know What You Are161. Your Bother And Mine164. The Princess Has Arrived165. (Monitor) Every Little Piece166. Nopony Else Got Flu168. A Clawful Of Booty169. Shut Up And Die171. Gonna Blind You173. I Will Go Failing No More175. One Pass176. Most Discouraging Thing177. With A Few Good Shots179. A Mare's Bad Dreams180. Tom Dan, He Is Another Rock 181. Tastes Like Feet182. The Three S's185. Very Questionable Advice186. Your Funny Hat And Me187. Good Comedy189. Exploit It190. Grumps192. How To Be A Brony (Guest Submission by Sky Blue CMC)194. Falling Off Ya195. The Gift Of Bruises So Long197. Blah Blah Blah199. Almost There (Until The 200th Chapter)200. The 200th Chapter Wrap-Up...(until life's calmed down a little)We Have A Very Important Message96. The Lack of Rhythm73. Whatever The Box May Be75. When You Squish My Ice-Cream Bar77. A Pie Like You1. When I See Tons of Pinkie Pies2. Be all Dressed3. Poor Unfortunate Scrolls7. Crash Through An Old Barn Door13. Once Upon a Time in Canterlot City18. We Are Done20. I See a Fight22. I Just Can't Wait For This Thing27. I'll Put A Ban On It Too29. Barter's Your Word33. World's Greatest Historic Find38. Peanut Butter Cracker39. Gone Today43. Bed-less Pony45. Mange Things50. I Didn't Know That I Could Deal This Way150. Aggravation52. Everypony Hates That Evil Cat54. Throw A Discus (And Lots More)56. Kick The Girl58. The Three Angry Sparrows63. That's What Twilight Sparkle Found68. Driving Me Around The Bend78. For The First Time, In The Heather83. Vinyl Scratch's Heaven88. I Cannot Concentrate90. Bedazzle The Car92. Sad Madam Belle95. She's Still Weird101. Pinkie Swear102. Love Will Blow You Away107. The Worst Of Both Worlds108. Two Words113. I Won't Say (Derpy's Name)117. Making Us Think She's Dead118. Goner To Us All121. Maud Helps Them Out Back123. The Beautiful Spiny Beasts124. Found Her Rambling Spree127. Pinkie's Spittling Song128. My Crown129. Inspection132. Do I Want To Bill The Showmare?136. The Job Song138. Glazed-Over Eyes142. Always Pwned148. Lack Of Explorations152. That's What Pens Are For153. Nothing In The World (Was Learnt Today)154. Drink A Smoothie157. Not On The Bus162. Stolen Stuff163. A Pilot's Life For Me167. Let Them Be Food To You170. Run-For-It-Ivity172. Something Cares174. Seize The Mare178. Into The Open Street183. She's A Temp184. At The Stall188. Whine, Whine, Whine191. Up, Down, Blast The Ground193. Punch The Spy196. Behind The Clowns198. I Want You All72. Ol' Ms. Harshwhinny(Note: Sung to the tune of 101 Dalmatians's "Cruella De Vil") Sung by Rainbow Dash Ms. Harshwhinny is the inspector for the Equestria Games, and is all about standards. Always. So of course it would be inevitable that the pony with generally very low standards in appearance like Rainbow Dash would clash. At least Dash has the performance levels for her team set as high as Ms. Harshwhinny's, so there's at least one thing in common. Ol' Ms. Harshwhinny That Ms. Harshwhinny If there is a problem, I betcha she'll see From one to ten, she'd rate you as a three Judge harshly, Ol' Ms. Harshwhinny The curl of her lips The ice in her stare Equestria Games staff should really take care To meet her standards and go escape free Finicky, Ol' Ms. Harshwhinny At first you think Harshwhinny is a demon But maybe there's a heart beneath the stone I mean, she did help Spike Light the torch and the like But still with her, don't go on in alone! Professionalism Is hard to maintain She sets bars high and don't take them down again I'd rather it were somepony but me I have to face Ms. Harshwhinny Author's Note As requested by BrownDog77 74. HAPPY Holiday(Note: Sung to the tune of Mary Poppins's "Jolly Holiday") Sung by Pinkie Pie and...Maud Pie? When Pinkie gets any free time with her sister Maud, she wants to do everything together. Maud does love her, and so would gladly do anything. Even sing songs Pinkie wrote herself. It...loses something when you hear Maud sing in front of a live audience though. It’s a fantasmical day I’ll take all that comes my way I feel so carefree Have you ever seen A pony so keen? It’s quite hard to see… Oh, it's a happy holiday with Pinkie Oh yes, Pinkie wrote this song Because my voice is boring and quite off-key So you’re all meant to sing along! Oh I am just exploding with excitement I know I don’t sound happy, but I am I cannot quite express my great happiness To get the point across without a mess Oh, it's a jolly holiday with Pinkie I’m actually as happy as a clam! Oh, it's a happy holiday with Pinkie Oh yes, Pinkie wrote this song Because my voice is boring and quite off-key So you’re all meant to sing along! Oh my facial expressions don’t change much Have I smiled since I started this tune…? Pinkie says, no not yet, but she’s willing to bet This song will show there’s a message to get Oh, it's a jolly holiday with Pinkie I think Pinkie takes over singing soon…now. Oh, it's a HAPPY holiday with you, Maud Nopony else could really tell That you are just excited to be here, Maud You think everything is swell! Her mouth just raised by two nanometers That’s how you tell she’s happy to be here I was hoping you’d Sing along, you could, Cause Maud’s voice needs training! Shame on you Oh, it's a happy holiday with you, Maud A jolly, HAPPY holiday with you! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. For added effect, sing in the most boring voice you can muster. 76. With A Bear(Note: Sung to the tune of Bedknobs And Broomsticks's "With A Flair") Sung by Fluttershy Twilight Sparkle was walking around town, looking for a friendship problem. Looking for ANY friendship problem. So she thought of Fluttershy and her shy, reserved nature that made her an easy bullying target... And when she arrived, she saw Fluttershy twisting a bear's legs and kicking him in the back. With much unnecessary ferocity. But that's the only way to properly massage a bear, though. Oh, it really doesn’t matter if it’s rough, if it’s rough As long as I do it with a bear In order to relieve tension I believe I need to mention He has to loosen up for massage care I’m a caretaker, a masseuse, a nanny, But they love me...everywhere. Don't pay broken bones or twisting any heed, any heed As long as I do it with a bear And it really doesn’t matter how I move, how I move As long as I wrestle with a bear! I will now perform my best suplex to let the bear relax and rest And not resort to my best hypnotic stare. When I hear the crack, I can relieve that back And then massage him everywhere! For it really doesn’t matter how much force, how much force I have bent both his legs backwards or he’ll end up suffering worse To relieve tension in his neck Give a…SUPER TWIST! It works wonders, every time! Warm my hooves, do my best, a flying kick to his chest. In fact, to coin a fitting phrase, I take care of the rest! So it really doesn’t matter how it looks, how it looks As long as I do it with a bear. Ease the stiffness he had before I pile-drive him to the floor My massage skills is far beyond compare. I’m a mare, I’m first, a guardian, a nurse, I will ease him up everywhere. For, it really doesn’t matter what I do, what I do… I can cut loose and go wild if it stops him getting riled! Cos regular massages tickle, so to stop him being so fickle I jump all over his spine to hear him moan and growl and whine, Because no matter how rough I get, I know Bearington can take it You love me cause I do it, with a bear! Author's Note I choose to believe she really WAS wrestling a bear to loosen it up in Lesson Zero. I mean, I don't think that's hard to misinterpret... 4. The Scare Necessities(Note: Sung to the tune of The Jungle Book's "The Bare Necessities") Sung by Pipsqueak Nightmare Night is Pipsqueak's favourite holiday in all of Equestria. One reason was because it's associated with his favourite Princess, Luna. But there's also the free candy. He's only young, after all. Look for the scare necessities The simple scare necessities That gets you candy all of Nightmare Night... I mean the scare necessities That gets you chocolate recipes You'll need the scare necessities for life! Princess Luna's visiting, turns up at my home I wanna show off my Forbidden Tome Don't worry, it's a replica! Raising the dead's reaching too far But you know my costume is a hit The fangs will make the crowd spit their bit Through my neck, a fake screw... The scare necessities of life will come to you They'll come to you! Look for the scare necessities The simple scare necessities I see adults in hockey masks all wielding knives! But the scare necessities Are all you need, so rest at ease With just the scare necessities for life They're overcompensating... Too scary for kids It's not good for dating Hiding in the midst... But you all know I'm a big colt now And Princess Luna keeps the Nightmares out But I don't need to use the saw To haul my candy loot right back to my door Have I given you a clue? The scare necessities of life will come to you They'll come to you! So just try and relax, yeah cool it We're all just here to have fun 'Cause this stuff only happens once a year We're gonna party all night, uh huh Til the morning sun I don't spend my time lookin' around There's only so much candy to be found And Princess Luna's coming with me We'll be apple bobbing later by the tree On that note: it's all true... The scare necessities of life will come to you 5. Prince Blueblood(Note: Sung to the tune of Aladdin's "Prince Ali") Sung by Rarity and a crowd of really annoyed ponies One of Rarity's most famous incidents in Ponyville was her complete and utter meltdown at the Grand Galloping Gala, having had to put up with a pompous jerk known only among the Canterlot Nobles as Prince Blueblood. She has never forgotten him, as much as she'd like to try... Make way for Prince Blueblood Say hey! It's Prince Blueblood Heavens! Clear the way to the local spa Hey you! Let me through! This has gone too far! Dear me! Never thought I'd meet somepony so rude! Make way! Here he comes! Ring bells! Bang the drums! Are you gonna hate this dude! Prince Blueblood! An arrogant dud From Canterlot City The worthless speck, demands respect "Down on one knee"! I try my best to stay calm And not sling mud from Applejack's farm And get arrested for assaulting royalty Prince Blueblood! As worthless as mud! From Canterlot Castle About as thick as 10 short planks, really not good! He faced the complaining hordes Calling for his head on a sword Who promoted this wretch to a lord? This Prince Blueblood He's once proposed a ban on all nightclubs (DJ-Pon3 was hacked off, you know) And insulted AJ's apple trees (what does HE know about farming?) He spent taxes on a golden bathtub... It's an absolute state! I'd rather not wait, to just end his upper class twit spree Prince Blueblood! Brain made of wood From Canterlot's finest What a jerk! Who never works Sweat, tears or blood! Well, get on out in that square Ready the fruit and prepare Aim for where it hurts! Right "there" at Prince Blueblood! He once built his own private Jacuzzi (Octavia was inconsolable for a week) By demolishing a concert hall (He's arrogant, so arrogant) He's got slaves, he's got servants and flunkies (Their fees are way too thin) They hate working for him Serving his every whim They have no sense of loyalty To Blueblood! Prince Blueblood! Prince Blueblood! Skull like a nut! From Canterlot's centre Compared with the princesses he's plainly no good! And that, good townsfolk, is why he should fall in a grease pit and die He's got a long rap sheet, complaints galore With his scandals and rudeness Disgraces and more With his moronic politics, his sheer greed Angry mobs like a flood Go away, Prince Blueblood! 6. Chimicherry, Cherrychanga(Note: Sung to the tune of Mary Poppins's "Chim Chim Cher-ee") Sung by Pinkie Pie Pinkie Pie is the sort of pony who goes off on several wild tangents. Below describes a thought as to what would be a more appropriate name for a new dish she invented, which she described as "mashed cherries in a tortilla and deep fried". Also, please do not ask Rarity this question unless you have a death wish. Don't ask. Chimicherry, Chimicherry Cherrychanga What's the better name to describe by far? Chimicherry, Chimicherry Cherrycha-hoo, Oh, wait, that's a good name. I might use that too! Honestly, I can't decide between the two! Rarity won't spare me a bit for her thought She gave me a look that'd make zombies rot I will get a name if it's the last thing I do Otherwise I can't serve it as new party food Chimicherry, Chimicherry Cherrychanga What's the better name to describe by far? Chimicherry, Chimicherry Cherrycha-hay, At this rate I'll be stuck deciding all day! Chimicherry, Chimicherry Cherrychanga What's the better name to describe by far? Chimicherry, Chimicherry Cherrycha-wow, Somepony give an opinion now! Applejack says that's it's all up to me, But I can't decide between two names, or three I've thought about combining both names as one To make a big that screams nothing but fun But to make it easier to roll off the tongue, It's a toss up between the first two that sprung, The battle between names rolls on so long! Chimicherry, Chimicherry Cherrychanga Which of these names do you prefer so far? Chimicherrychanga's an option too, So is it, "Chimicherry" or "Cherrychanga" to you? Or "Chimicherrychanga" Cherry-ta-roo! 8. What Made the Head Pony Head(Note: Sung to the tune of Peter Pan's "What Made the Red Man Red") Sung by Princess Celestia There have been many accounts of the history of Equestria, but a rather foggy area in this area is Princess Celestia's exact rise to power. Despite having the Princess herself governing the land, it is still not agreed upon as to how she rose to the throne. Particularly since conflicting accounts such as this one arise (this was a statement given to a witness from the princess herself. Its exact merits are still under scrutiny). Why do you ask me, "Why?" Why do you ask me, "Why?" Once this pony didn't know How to raise the sun or fly But this pony, she sure learnt a lot And it's all from asking, "Why?" Edite, alvi apium Edite, alvi apium I'll tell you what it means It means to be an alicorn I ate a hive of bees When did I first raise the sun? When did I first raise the sun? I'll clear it up once and for all; I made it out of pie Then roundhouse-kicked it in the face To set it up in the sky What made the head pony head? What made the head pony head? Let's go back a million years To the first among my line He fought some evil robot birds And his people came out fine You've got it from the princess The story of our great win-cess No matter what's been written or said Now you know why this head pony's head! 9. Cabbages(Note: Sung to the tune of Pocahontas's "Savages") Sung by Braeburn, Applejack, members of the apple family Chief Thunderhooves and the buffalo tribe Appleoosa is a small town far to the west of Equestria. Probably one of its most famous incidents was when the Six Bearers of Harmony was able to avert a political disaster between the local ponies and buffaloes, which involved an apple plantation encroaching on the buffaloes' territory. Now, some time later, the buffaloes want to start their own cabbage plantation right next to the apple plantation, which doesn't go down with Applejack's cousin Braeburn. After all, apples is srs bizness, u guys. And Braeburn honestly thought he was doing them a favour to try and convince them not to compete with the soil for the apple plantation growing anything as awful as cabbages. Somehow this ended in threats to boil over to a massive dispute over land...again. And Applejack had to play the peacekeeper. What can you expect From dinky little veggies? Their chewy rubbery leaves is like a curse They're boring and they're cheap Good for just the compost heap You'll get in trouble deep And worse They're cabbages! Cabbages! Barely even foodstuff Savages! Savages! Drive them from our shore! Nopony like those things Which means that there's no profit You realize that this means war! They're cabbages! Cabbages! Encroaching on our soil! Now we sound the drums of war! This is what we feared This pony does not see it How we only need a bit of land An acre, maybe two Is all we ask of you Please don't make us force our hand...hoof? They're cabbages! Cabbages! Not as bad as you think Cabbages! Cabbages! What you waiting for? If you will not give us The soil that we all seek We must sound the drums of war They're savages! Savages! First we deal with this one Then we sound the drums of war Cabbages! Cabbages! For the pride of Appleoosa! Savages! Savages! There's too much to lose-a! Cabbages! Cabbages! Why will you not get this? Now we sound the drums of war! -Part 2- Is there nothing ah can do? Will this really be the end? It's barely last week since the last It's driving me around the bend! This will be the day ... (Aaaaaaaaploooosa *whinney*!) This will be the morning ... (Ready the stampede) There's only room for us or them (Ah don't know what I should do Gotta help 'em compromise) Now we make 'em pay This don't make sense in mah eyes Now without a warning ... (Mountain out of a molehill) We drive 'em out of town for who knows when (This happens almost every week...) It's them or us (At this rate ah'll lose the will...) They're just a bunch of what you say 'bout Cabbages! Cabbages! Jerks! Heathens! Get them! Cabbages! Cabbages! What are we waiting for? Evict them from the town Until there's not a trace left (How can I just have the floor?) We will sound the drums of war (Cabbages! Cabbages!) Now, we sound the drums of war (Cabbages! Cabbages!) Now we see what comes Of trying to be chums Now we sound the drums ... of ... war! Of course it means the drums ... of ... war! They really need to cut it out End this feud and settle the score! Author's Note As requested by Awesomo3000 10. Bends To the Other Side(Note: Sung to the tune of The Princess and the Frog's "Friends on the Other Side") Sung by Discord and some chorus back that came out of nowhere The anatomy of a draconequus is somewhat of a shady area of discovery. Not just because the only available draconequus, Discord, doesn't believe in 'straight answers' but also because how a draconequus's existence pretty much defies logic himself. When asked to explain the anatomy of himself, this was how Discord replied: Don't you poke and prod me, little pal! Don't you derogate or deride! Oh are you surprised At my arms Since they bend to the other side! His arms bend to the other side... I can turn you into a table I can belch soda with ease If you relax it will enable me to do anything I please I can un-friend you like this I can spin you a riddle, too I can make your drink fizz the "wrong" way (by the way, can I get a glass of water?) And convincingly fake Blue Flu! Cos my body's Pretty hotty I do things I ain't even tried! I've got arms that bend to the other side! His arms bend to the other side! Okay, okay, I guess I'll tell But did you know I sweat popcorn as well? I can clone myself in sets of three I'm such a great guy so here's more of me! Pfft, who cares about your research paper? Instead I'll tell you 'bout my Canterlot caper! (It's a pretty good yarn, so it's worth it.) My mood was high But my funds were low So I had a chat with Rarity, I know she got dough! Look, I know I'm just talking about my talents here... But time spent with friends is well spent. Apparently. I just wanna be free. Hop from place to place. But freedom... takes green! It's the green, it's the green, it's the green I need And when I looked into my future It's the green that I see! I wanted a vacation to Canterlot City But I needed to get money somehow So I gathered up my wits and so to make a few bits... I just shaved Rarity's head... And sold them as wigs to cows That's how I got where I wanted to be... Wait, I should be talking 'bout my anatomy! Shake my hand. Come on brony. Won't you shake the draconequus's hand? Yes... Are you ready? (Are you ready?) Are you ready? Transformation central! (Transformation central!) Reformation central! (Reformation central!) Transmogrification central! Have you got it? Your research Your research Your research all right? I hope you're satisfied But if you ain't Don't blame me!! And don't forget my arms bend to the other side! He just described strange stuff! Nothing useful for your paper! Hush... Author's Note As requested by Nightmare Haunt. 11. Drama You can Bring(Note: Sung to the tune of Pocahonta's "Colours of the Wind") Sung by Rarity A lady is simply not a lady without a sense of dignity, according to Rarity. That is why she always has on standby a fainting couch for particularly stressful moments. It is not a ploy for attention, it is an art. You think I'm a dramatic pony And you've seen so much disaster And awful fiascos But still you cannot see How to keep your dignity And yet put your disapproval right on show? You don't know ... The fastest way is just to simply black out Shut out all the horrors that you saw But do make sure you get a comfy landing It would not do if your back gets all sore I have my own fainting couch for a reason It cost a pretty penny overseas It's comfy and it all adds to the drama You'll wake up and you'll be more at ease Have you ever really felt like blanking out right there? Or feel like ignoring some really shameful thing? Can you lose your sense of self from the horrors? Can you faint with all the drama you can bring? Can you faint with all the drama you can bring? Dramatic fainting's truly an art form So make sure that you're doing it all right Come hang with all the ruffians all around you And then you'll faint dead away at the sight I recommend the ones with all the pillows All lined with goose feathers and then some And do make sure the outside's easy to clean You never know when a fainting time will come When should your shame feel so low? If you don't black out, then you'll never know And so should you ever feel like blanking out right there And throw your consciousness straight to the wind We do it with the dignity we can muster We need to faint with all the drama you can bring You can stay awake and still Take in awful sights until You can faint with all the drama you can bring! 12. Let Him Plow(Note: Sung to the tune of Frozen's "Let It Go") Sung by Applejack As an Apple Family member, Applebloom likes to do whatever she can to help. Unfortunately, her exuberance does more to hinder than to help, and sometimes she needs convincing to get Big Macintosh to be left alone with his work... Macintosh needs time with the plow tonight And be quietly left alone You know he's not good w' small talk And y'all better watch yer tone He focuses more when he's all by himself So put that there hacksaw back on the shelf Now, Granny Smith could use ya more Down in the kitchen makin' them s'mores Hurry, scurry, lively and quick Granny needs yah now Let him plow, let him plow Can you haul it if it gets stuck? Let him plow, let him plow Well missy, then yer outta luck Ah don't care what you're going to say He's a big and strong pony It's just only one small job anyway (It's funny how she thinks that she can haul around a plow Like how she tried to get her cutie mark lifting a cow It's time to see what ah can do To keep her busy a day or two Once Macintosh has plowed all three He's free) Let him plow, let him plow Ah hear Granny call yer name Let him plow, let him plow She needs yah all the same She can't bake all that by herself You'd better hurry on You can help with mixing the pie dough around (She can't be trusted w' sharp objects around, That's why she won't help with the peelin' just yet) When yer older, then heavier job's you'll get Let him plow, let him plow He'll be done at the break of dawn Let him plow, let him plow So our knobbly field's all gone Tomorrow you've got a busy day So get yer chef hat on You can't shift somethin' so heavy anyway Author's Note As requested by Seanchow806Napoleonic 14. We Multiply(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride's "My Lullaby") Sung by a large army of changelings Chrysalis began her invasion on Canterlot looking for fresh prey for her people. Unfortunately, as Twilight Sparkle explained previously, it didn't end well for them...but that's not to say they didn't come close... Sleep, our little victims Let your love take wing We'll strip of all your free will We're your puppets strings We can morph into anypony, Feed on feelings in their heart Because someone who's all lonely To us is no great start We'll crash the wedding party And drain ponies of their love You may think it ain't arty But when push comes to shove You are us, and we are you We outnumber you ten to two The odds aren't on your side How we multiply What the heck is going on With these six lone mares? Nopony told us we'd be set upon They caught us unawares That farmer has some awful kicks The pegasus knows kung-fu The purple one has lots of tricks, The white one's belting you! You just fell flat on your face? The yellow one should know her place! I have confetti in my eye! We must multiply! What a mess... but a nation's on our side To work our way around We still have strength in numbers... And now the threats are down! We'll march them to the castle! Where Celestia fell! They'll never stand up to our queen Not a hope in h-! Wait, where's that glowing coming from? It feels just like a mighty storm It feels like lovin' (Tartarus!) I can hear the cheering (Too much of a good thing, aye?!) Payback time is nearing Explode before our eyes Sent flying towards the skies... Our plans are nullified! Author's Note As requested by Blue Sparkle 227 15. Can you Feed the Doves Tonight?(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King's "Can you Feel the Love Tonight?") Sung by Fluttershy One night, Fluttershy had to attend an important nightly checkup for a narwhal who seemed to keep skipping out on their appointments. So, on that occasion, she had tasked her assistant and pet rabbit Angel with giving the doves their midnight snack, before turning in for the night. "Don't want them waking up hungry," she said. It took some persistence; after all, Angel hates doing things that he doesn't like. The furry jerk. This checkup's important And so it's up to you You must give the doves their nourishment And the chickens too Tonight you do it and I'll Promise to do their brunch If you do I'll make your favorite salad For tomorrow's lunch Can you feed the doves tonight? Can you do this small task? You could for once do what you're meant to Without me having to ask... The longer I take asking The longer Narwhal has To plan her awfully big getaway And let the evening pass I'll bribe you with your favorite Salad fresh from the crop With the tomatoes, cress and orange slice And whipped cream on top Can you feed the doves tonight? You needn't go too far It's just a simple half-mile walk From there to where you are Cause if you don't go do it tonight It can be assumed I will have to unleash the dreaded Stare You will sense impending Doom 16. What a Day in Ponyville(Note: Sung to the tune of Pocahontas 2: Journey to a New World's "What a Day in London") Sung by Twilight Sparkle and the residents of Ponyville Ponyville seems to be the centre of where everything interesting happens in town. Like Nightmare Moon, an Ursa Minor attack, Discord...oh well, at least they don't have to deal with traffic. This is a record of one particular incident that ended up eating quite a lot of the town's budget (emphasis on 'eat'). A swarm of Parasprites ate most of the town's food, before moving on to the town, and then finally being led away by a one-pony marching band to the Everfree Forest. If anypony asks, it was Twilight's fault. The sun comes up, the lamps go down A new day in Ponyville town It makes you think, "I hope and pray, Something fun happens today!" While shops are stocked and kids are fed, DJ-Pon3 heads home to bed. Oh what's this? Looks like a bug, Oh look, it's smiling really smug! What a day in Ponyville Come and see who's here Everyone knows someone They come from far and near A brand new day Brings luck our way Nothing could go all wrong Except perhaps a lot of things But odds against are strong... Oh lookie there! There's two, no, four! Good heavens, now there's even more! These smiley bugs emptied the fridge, They've spread as far as by the bridge The swarms have stripped us of our food Even the stuff that's off. How crude! At this rate we face poverty If there's no food in sight to see What a day in Ponyville! What are the odds of this!? It's just like last Tuesday... (Gasp) Look up Is that Twilight Sparkle I see? She's casting there They've stopped and stared They're hovering in the air? ...NOW THEY'RE EATING MY CENTRAL HEATING! And my purse too My chimney flue You screwed up beyond repair! My heart is pounding like a drum I can't believe my eyes I only tried to cast a spell for creatures of small size It was supposed to stop them from eating normal food Now they've started on inedible stuff like wood And metal and plastic and glass and lots more This is all nothing like I've seen before Eating Rarity's hats And roofs that shine with flags Flying higher than a pine She seemed so sweet She meant us well SHE SCREWED THINGS UP! How can you tell? The town itself is pretty doomed I wonder if my mom has room... How can I stop this disaster With everything on the line? The parasprites Eat all in sight No way it'll turn out fine! Zecora has just told me we're doomed this very day And Pinkie wants a banjo and has just run away These things are like locusts crossed with bees There's only one viable remedy An exact perfect replica of the town, Less than a minute to set it down! What a day in Ponyville We woke up to a mess A bunch of insects showed up And ate my fancy dress! This day's become a day Nopony's likely to forget A day we'll all remember As the day a town was ate! Wait, what's that? It sounds like drums A tuba and a trombone comes Cymbals crashing's what I hear Listen up, it's drawing near! It's Pinkie Pie's one-pony band! Look, the pests follow her and She leads them away from the town Hooray for music from this clown! What a day in Ponyville Another crisis stopped The pink party pony Caused the swarm to flop We're spared the end I'm round the bend We could have stopped all this (She could have stopped all this!?) What a mad exciting day Could be worse is what we say How normal this Ponyville day turned out to be! Author's Note As requested by keam. 17. Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts on Explosions(Note: Sung to the tune of Mary Poppins's "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious") Sung by Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo The Cutie Mark Crusaders have tried pretty much everything to try and earn their cutie marks, to no avail. However, there is still one frontier that the three fillies have not yet tried... Celestia help us all, it's pyrotechnics and explosives. Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts on Explosions! Looking for our special talents to spend our devotions! Experience don't matter much, it's all about emotions! Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts on Explosions! Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay! We've tried a dogfight out in space But it was all a trap And once we all tried bird-keeping They got into a flap But still there's one thing we have all Not yet begun to try Can we all earn our cutie marks In making objects fry? Oh! Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts on Explosions! What could possibly go wrong, it don't sound that atrocious! We aim to make infernos that are really quite ferocious! Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts on Explosions! Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay! We tried to paint an elephant But we ran out of red And once we all tried parkour But we nearly wound up dead A song we sent for this fanfic Got a "Rejected" stamp I hope the author comes down with A vicious finger cramp! Oh, Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts on Explosions! Flames and powder set up to cause quite a big commotion We could also make a highly volatile potion Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts on Explosions! Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay! So when we have exhausted All our other choices here Pyrotechnics is the last thing to place our hopes and fears Blowing things up is all we have So let's give it a shot! We'll make a show that's gonna blow Your mind that ultra hot! With The Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts on Explosions! Hoping this will get us all our cutie mark promotions! We'll get them even if we have to dry up all the oceans! Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts on Explosions! Author's Note I'm taking Guest Submissions, if the Cutie Mark Crusaders are to be believed. I think you can do a better job than them. Just PM me with your submission. Don't forget to have a title, lyrics, and state the movie and its song! 19. We've Got No Things(Note: Sung to the tune of Pinocchios's "I've Got No Strings") Sung by the Diamond Dogs Rover, Spot and Fido In case you don't know, the Diamond Dogs are a group of ugly, dirty, greedy, and stupid canine-like creatures who live underground and value gems. One time, they kidnapped Rarity in the hopes of using her skills to find more gems. Unfortunately for them, Rarity is the Sun-Tzu of passive aggressive warfare, and very soon they were practically throwing their riches at her in order to get her to leave them alone and never return. Seriously, she pretty much robbed them in pure day...cave-light. We've got no things Our gems are gone Our riches stripped, we're put-upon... We had to give All our gems, see To a whiny white pony I know this totally blows I'll never forget that voice I want the world to know We really didn't have a choice We've got no things She robbed us dry Her screeching made us want to cry She has things But you can see I've not a bean on me I have no things My ears still bleed What got us was our natural greed If it's all The same to you You got a gem on you? I've got no things It's not my fault Why'd we steal her and not a colt? She got things I'm telling you She's annoying through and through! She whined all through the day Before her friends took her from us I know I'm scared for life Of her screaming fit to bust, hey! I've got no things on me. 21. The Bees From The Cart(Note: Sung to the tune of Tarzan's "You'll Be in My Heart") Sung by Applejack and Rainbow Dash The latest dare challenge, with Applejack vs Rainbow Dash! It's a staring contest while an entire swarm of bees covers your face. One sudden move and you'll have swellings all over your every orifice for weeks. Still, neither pony ever backs down from a challenge, and so let the competition begin! Note: Since neither pony could actually sing for risk of tremendous sting-related pain, the following song was composed out of the two's accounts regarding their inner monologue. How they were so synchronized with each other in thought remains a mystery. No time for crying Ah will be all right Gotta keep still Keep it tight Ah can't get stung Just not before you Just gotta not move Wanna cry? For one so proud You seem to sweat They crawl all over Are you cracking yet? The score between us Must be settled It's nerve-wrackin' But ah'll try With the bees from the cart Yes, the bees from the cart I won't get stung Now or forever more Your bees from the cart No matter what they say All the bees from the cart, Will stay Why can't they understand the way we feel, They just don't trust what they can't explain. Our past-times are different We just like to risk a huge amount of pain! With the bees from the cart, Yes the bees from the cart, From this day on We settle the score. Don't listen to her, 'cos what does she know. (what does she know) I'm twice as brave as AJ, and so I'll hold! She'll see in time, I know. When you risk stinging, you must be strong (you gotta be strong) If you think I'll move from here, you're totally wrong! She'll see in time, I know. I could wait forever 'cos The bees from the cart, Threaten me, The bees from the cart. I'll be queen from this day on, now and forever more. Ooh the bees from the cart (It's the bees here on my face) No matter what they say (I won't get stung) We have bees from the cart (I'll be fine) Always Always I'll be the champ, I'll be ahead of you always Always and always. Hope you've got ointment ready x3 I'll beat you always. P.S The competition was eventually called off after Post Haste, the owner of the bees, asked for them back. And so, they paid a visit to the old castle of the Royal Sisters instead... Author's Note As requested by HB_DS2013. 23. Know When to Fold 'Em Applebloom(Note: Sung to the tune of Alice in Wonderland's "All in a Golden Afternoon") Sung by Applebloom and Applejack The Cutie Mark Crusaders are always trying to think of whatever will get them their cutie marks. Even if they never succeed, they have fun anyway. It's considerably less fun when you're the older sister and thus it's your responsibility to pay for whatever gets broken. It's a good thing Sweet Apple Acres is such a money-spinner in the local community. Remember you three broke the sundial And that time with the hot-air balloon? If yah ask me you really ought to know When to fold 'em, Applebloom... I'm still payin' for the damaged water pump And still clearin' treacle from mah room You gotta use yer horse sense to realize When to fold 'em, Applebloom! (To fold 'em, Applebloom) You've tried keepin', writin', surfin', knittin', arts and brewin' mead, You make the ponies wonder where's the peaceful life they lead... Oh, the three of yah are walkin' disasters Every scheme you try just spells out Doom You should know when to call it a day there: When to fold 'em, Applebloom! Know when to fold 'em, Applebloom To fold 'em, Applebloom... There's no way you're ever gonna make me give up I don't intend to call it quits so soon Cutie Mark Crusaders have no idea When to - Fold 'em, Applebloom! 24. Why You Don't Do Flight(Note: Sung to the tune of Who Framed Roger Rabbit's "Why Don't you Do Right?") Sung by Rainbow Dash According to Rainbow Dash, the best way to emulate her greatest achievement, the Sonic Rainboom, is to constantly practice. Oh, and it also helps if one of your best friends is plummeting to their doom about 10,000 feet from above. Not that anypony should ever LOOK to fall 10,000 feet, even for that, because a large stain on the pavement's not cool. I had to save your flank from falling to your doom, I know why you stick to your dresses and loom, Why you don't do flight, Like other ponies do. Get out of here, And take your makeup too, Your not being good with flyin's what it's all about, I can see why it's clear, so no need to pout, Why you don't do flight, Like other ponies do. Get out of here, Twilight's calling for you. Silver lining's that I perfected my greatest feat, But don't do that again, cos your doom ain't sweet, Why don't you do flight, Like other ponies do? You'd need practice, Self preservation too You'd need practice, Self preservation too Why you don't do flight, Like other ponies do! 25. Why'd You Like Curry?(Note: Sung to the tune of Oliver and Company's "Why Should I Worry?") Sung by Fluttershy Pinkie Pie is an odd sort of pony. Okay, that's putting it nicely. Nopony seems to understand her fully. PINKIE doesn't understand Pinkie fully. One of her many quirks is her unusually high tolerance to spicy food. In fact, the only heat she has found intolerable is undiluted rainbow liquid, which has the heat intensity of a Cartolina Reaper. And even then, she managed to remain conscious and even run off to find a glass of water afterwards. You'd never see a pony as delicate as Fluttershy have anything even remotely spicy. Ever. So it's hard to relate to Pinkie's strange tastes. Not that Fluttershy would say it IN FRONT of her. One minute, hot sauce on cupcakes Then you down a Vindaloo And you'd eat a naga pepper And Koltrean kimchi too Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo It's crazy I'd get quite hazy Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo It's not smart It's really bad for my heart Why'd you like curry? Why should I care? I'll never acquire the taste I think you're a crazy mare Why'd you like curry? Why should I care? A small amount of spices And I would hurt everywhere Your love for all things spicy Girl, you would get it down Yellow, orange or brown You'd scarf all them down Why'd you like curry? Tell me, why should I care? You'd wolf down a ghost chilli Without burning like a flare Why'd you like curry? Why should I care? I would pass out from eating A small korma anywhere Ev'rything goes Ev'rything fits For Pinkie Pie maybe I would just call it quits Why'd you like curry? Why should I care? And even with that rainbow juice She'd still sample spicy wares Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo (etc.) Author's Note As requested by Blue Sparkle 227 Also, look up the Carolina Reaper if you want to know what the pepper mentioned is (it exists). 26. Grim, Gritty, Gross(Note: Sung to the tune of The Haunted Mansion's "Grim Grinning Ghosts") Sung by Pinkie Pie Quite possibly the worst cooking disaster (apart from the Cutie Mark Crusader's attempts to get a baking cutie mark) was the time Applejack made muffins after some sleepless days and nights, too tired to notice she wasn't using the right ingredients... These muffins, sporting ingredients such as soda, crushed potato chips and worms soon earned its infamous name, Baked Bads. Spike seemed to think they were OK, though. Taste is subjective, I suppose. When AJ's in the kitchen chambers She can do an apple crumble that entices all But today she made muffins that would turn you deathly still The whole of Ponyville was present Waiting with anticipation and delight When she gets no sleep, she makes big mistakes One bite and you would find it hard to stay awake Bile rises in my mouth And my health is going south Grim Gritty Gross Baked Bads are totally out My tummy's doing flip-flops right inside Those muffins are evil personified The hospital wing is packed With those who's tums were attacked Grim Gritty Gross Baked Bads ain't coming back Nurse Redheart's being swept right off her hooves Thousands of patients with no time to lose The atmosphere's filled with gloom The hospital has no more room Grim Gritty Gross Baked Bads are signs of doom When you hear the knell of a requiem bell Those things sent you where spirits dwell No don't eat that! You'll despise Any mouthful of any size Mwahahahahahahahaha If you would like to join our jamboree Equestria Daily has a recipe Why you'd make them I don't see Your food poisoning's all that's free But you should know that misery loves company Don't eat that...Don't eat that... Are you sure you want to try them out? If you decide to make 'em You should write up your will now You'll be...dying...to have them ...Or maybe you'll just die, period. Author's Note As requested by GoodStoryLover. 28. Bring Back Springtime (Guest Submission by lionaxel)(Note: Sung to the tune of The Nightmare Before Christmas's "Making Christmas") Sung by Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy and Mayor Mare Winter Wrap Up, before Twilight Sparkle came along, was a pretty big shambles every single year. It was a largely disorganized mess and it took the town of Ponyville a long time before their Winter was wrapped up along with the rest of the country's. After Twilight Sparkle injected some of her organisational skills into the whole affair, the town has since gotten a lot better at it. Thankfully. It’s time! It’s time! Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up, Winter Wrap Up Redesign! We’ll get it right And won't the Mayor be surprised Look for spring’s sign! Winter Wrap Up, Winter Wrap Up Winter Wrap Up Time to spread some cheer and fun And it’ll last for months to come Let's assign jobs to everyone It's time to clean-up Winter Wrap Up, Winter Wrap Up The bird nests get spruced up so nice With these ribbons and pretty bows Doesn’t it look nice? All together, that and this With all our tricks we're Bringing back Springtime! Ooh! There she is! I just don’t know where I must now go My skills, my tricks, my mastery! Wait! I got it! Won't they be impressed, I am a genius See how I am skating on ice And cutting it so small and nice! Ooh! My compliments from me to you On this your most delightful work However though there’s something wrong See it requires a certain quirk. Huh! No, no, no, now that's no fun! Your method will never make a dent! Maybe now you should be done. Try something better, better spent. Try again, don't give up All together, that and this Without my skill they’re bringing back Springtime It’s time! It’s time! Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up La, la, la It's almost here No time to wait So find the birds, we can’t be late 'Cause when the full moon starts to climb No matter what! It’s springtime! 30. Be Declared(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King's "Be Prepared") Sung by the Princess Celestia and Ponies at the Horstralian country border As Princess, one of the many duties is to establish healthy relationships between countries for the sake of peace. Every country is different, but one of the most memorable visits was to the country of Horstralia. Largely because of how excessively hardcore they are when it comes to border security. Nothing gets in, and nothing gets out. EVER. I'm at the Horstralian border Waiting for my luggage to pass To maintain relations and order They confiscate objects en-mass They're checking my crown for contraband In case animals live in there Or dragon egg shells in my headband Amazing how much they all care! My wingspan's big enough for smuggling They've rifled through them seven times And all of my feathers Were messed up together Have you got veg or fruit? Check my bags for the loot I know it sounds sordid I won't get rewarded I'd hardly resort to such crimes Have I info that needs to be shared? Be declared! Check, Check, Check, Check, Check, Check! We'll put all the bags through an x-ray To check for suspicious knick-knacks This long check-up is but the entree I also can take little back I must carefully choose my souvenirs To bring back home to Canterlot It can't be too hollow or they'll fear It works like a smuggling pot! I hope we're not here for much longer ...Don't tell me they rifled through THAT! (Oooh... la, la, la!) Oh wow, this is awkward (What is this!?) How can I be forward? (Didn't know!) Found my secret stash (That she liked!) Of romantic trash (Stuff like that!) Princess, undisputed Respected, saluted Can you keep this under your hat? My reputation should be spared... Not declared! Yes, should your reputation be spared? (Nah!) Be declared! Author's Note As requested by fluttercord45 31. The Brony King In Media(Note: Sung to the tune of Robin Hood's "The Phony King Of England") Sung by you, um...if that's alright with you... I wrote this as an ode to the kingpin of the most well-known news source of all things pony. Here's to you, the great genius who likes Trixie and who's OC got locked in a cube. Oh, the internet has a human yet Skulking behind a blog A someone who likes Trixie and Works staff into a slog With other bronies on his side Equestria Daily grew With Phoe, Calpain, Xyro, PK And many more in the crew Sethisto was this brony's name Our lives would never be the same He's known as the Brony King in media! All hail to the Brony King in media! He sits alone on a giant throne Reading emails all day He posts up news and fic reviews And keeps the spam away And he throws an angry tantrum If Trixie's not on site So it's a pointless post With Trixie as the host All this, despite the server's plight Despite this, he still gets the scoops Before the spoilers leak out. Whoops! All hail to the Brony King in media! The Mysterious Pre-Reader-Do-Well Rides astride Sethisto's head As Sethy swaps banner backdrops From green to pink to red All this despite a gross mishap Which was a pain, you see He got locked in a cube before He got his own OC At nighttime in Arizona, wow! "Go to bed, Seth." Like right now! The pony and homey king in media! The mailin' wailin', Postin' hostin', Blabberin' jabberin', Typin' hypin', clickin' flickin', Wheelin' dealin' Sethisto, the Brony King in media! Yeah! 32. (Sweetie) Belle(Note: Sung to the tune of Beauty and the Beast's "Belle") Sung by Button Mash and Sweetie Belle and an NPC from Button Mash's game When the Cutie Mark Crusaders have wrapped up their shenanigans for the day, Sweetie Belle sometimes stays over with a colt from her school, the videogame obsessed Button Mash. Not that it's dull. He always makes sure to play whatever accommodates two players whenever she comes around. It does make you wonder why, since he's supposedly the only one in Ponyville who even LIKES videogames... Button Mash, in the middle stages This dungeon not like the one before Working to make it past the boss now Waiting so he can say We scored! (5x) There goes Button's Spell-Warrior, like always He wants 15 of those Jellied Slimes to sell But the only place he can Unload Slimes and all his spam At the dungeon's end, a town! Look there I got my seventh Jellied Slime now Eight more and I can forge the Sword of Fell! Power-Leveling's such a pain My skill points ran out again Want me to make a new Save File, Sweetie Belle? We scored! Oh yeah! A mana potion found! We scored! Good day! Restored my life I need six more! I'm overleveled! You don't get bored of fighting and the strife? It's far from my best game but I include her I think that I have trained her well My combat party's best hunter I have named it after her My level twenty three hunter, Sweetie Belle He's actually quite amazing! I know he's pretty good because you'll see All of the combat's real-time It's really nothing like a turn-based RPG! But now I just can't wait for my new broadsword I'm trekking back to Beastly Fell But I know it's worth the hike I know what the boss is like But then even without the sword If I plow on without the sword I'll be fine with the support from Sweetie Belle! I see that you have fifteen Jellied Slimes here Unfortunately I can tell You don't have the funds on you I can't give you it, it's true Unless you can venture out and find our bell No, we don't know Why are we singing? Don't think it's part Of the game script! More puzzling still So are you bringing Our lost bell from The Darkest Dankest Crypt? You scored! Pardon. Good day. Fire Ring! Increase defense! Save your progress? Ten gald! Oatmeal... Experience points! Next step's to upgrade his brand new knife...! I'll find an inn to go restore my life! Look there I go! I have a brand new side-quest From a peculiar mad'moiselle! I swear I'll get it done On my first playthrough run You ready for adventure there My player 2 is all set there You ready for adventure? Sweetie Belle! We'll score! (5x) Author's Note As requested by keam. 34. One Little Kip(Note: Sung to the tune of Chicken Little's "One Little Slip") Sung by Rainbow Dash Napping may not be one of the past-times you'd expect from somepony who basically would go mad if she stays still, but to be honest, Rainbow Dash can get from A to B and clear the sky so quickly (10 seconds. Somepony timed her), that there really isn't much to do except fly or pass the time sleeping. It was a breeze to clean clouds up In ten seconds flat, yes sirree Got lots of free time on my hooves You'd get some shut-eye if you were me I've practiced flying today Nothing else to pass the time I'll go catch my forty winks Until adventure's down the line One little kip, One little kip Preen my feathers back together Finished Daring Do's new book I can sleep in because I work so quickly Well I admit my work ethic is kinda lacking Watch me fly by, can't be sickly But no way I'd face a sacking Don't like details when they're niggly But you know I'll work fast, and that ain't bragging I've no boss to scold me thickly But you know I just hate dragging One little kip, One little kip I got a big whole in my day No party to keep me away From sleeping the whole entire afternoon Next Daring Do's not out for weeks And while my flying's at its peak I hate repeating what to do so soon I've practiced flying today Nothing else to pass the time I'll go catch my forty winks Until adventure's down the line One little kip, One little kip Pull up a cloud, and don't be loud Unless it's real urgent... One little kip, One little kip 35. The Wonderful Thing About Fingers(Note: Sung to the tune of Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day's "The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers") Sung by Lyra Heartstrings For a very long time, the existence of humans was shrouded in mystery. In fact, few ponies believed they were real, except for one rather overly happy green unicorn called Lyra Heartstrings, who's obsession with them even borderlined on madness, even wishing for their "fingers" as the appendages on their front legs were called. Twilight's most recent adventure through the magic mirror into another world, confirming their existence, could only be good news for her, which resulted in her doing a lot of celebratory dancing and a lot of happy singing the night she heard of their adventures, much to the disdain of her friend Bon Bon... The wonderful thing about fingers Is fingers are wonderful things! They can grab things without using magic And they can put on so many rings! These digits fidget, bridge it, which is Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! But the most wonderful thing about fingers is You get ten, not one The wonderful thing about fingers Is fingers are marvelous to have! You can point with vim and with vigor My work would be cut in half! They're pointy, jointy, real enjoy-ty Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! But the most wonderful thing about fingers is You get ten, not one Fingers are awfully useful Fingers are awfully sweet Ev'ryone el-us is jealous That's why I repeat...and repeat The wonderful thing about fingers Is fingers are wonderful things! They can grab things without using magic And they can put on so many rings! These digits fidget, bridge it, which is Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! But the most wonderful thing about fingers is You get ten, not one Fingers are awfully useful Fingers are awfully sweet Ev'ryone el-us is jealous That's why I repeat...and repeat The wonderful thing about fingers Is fingers are wonderful things! They can grab things without using magic And they can put on so many rings! These digits fidget, bridge it, which is Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! But the most wonderful thing about fingers is You get ten, not one Y-y-you get ten, not one! Whoo! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123 36. A Dream of a Fish and Cupcakes(Note: Sung to the tune of Cinderella's "A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes") Sung by Pinkie Pie Ah, the joys of lucid dreaming. When sleeping, the ability to shape your dreams as you like them is a useful tool indeed. That certainly explains why most of Pinkie's dreams are about frosting. But in the event her dreams take a turn for the weird, she goes along for the ride. As long as it's funny, right? A dream of a fish and cupcakes When I'm fast asleep In dreams I drive with no brakes Into a frosting castle's keep Or maybe I'm in the mood for A dive-bomb in green sticky goo No matter how crazy it turns out I'll dream til night-time burns out The dream of a fish still shines through A dream of a fish and cupcakes One night, feeling small Compared to a 10 feet Twilight My size can't compare at all So I hide in Twilight's bookshelves Along with Gummy and the crew But out of all the dreams I've had The one that's still the most rad The dream of a fish still shines through A dream of a fish and cupcakes A dream of a fish and cupcakes I wake with the morning sunlight To find my room covered in goo I dunno how this all got there But then, my dream had a lot there... The dream of a fish still shines through No matter how crazy it turns out I'll dream til night-time burns out The dream of a fish still shines through 37. Hurt Me Right(Note: Sung to the tune of Brave's "Learn Me Right") Sung by Rainbow Dash Don't yank on Applejack's tail if you want attention. That's where the kicking legs are, and she bucks HARD when startled, as Rainbow Dash found to her cost. "Years of apple-buckin'" according to Applejack. Be that as it may, it really HURTS. Though I may speak and sound quite crass Those legs are like some big nuclear blast I have no strength with which to fly And I've got some gravel in my eye I just yanked her tail Dislocated my knee Usually not that frail, It's killing me I just yanked her tail Dislocated my knee Usually not that frail, It's killing me I'm in the hospital Bouncing a rubber ball Boredom isn't far away I took the kick right to the face I crash-landed in the most painful place In agony and massive pain Setting my bones back in again I just yanked her tail Dislocated my knee Usually not that frail, It's killing me I'm in the hospital Bouncing a rubber ball Boredom isn't far away 40. The Drummer(Note: Sung to the tune of Frozen's "In Summer") Sung by Octavia Octavia values the precise, elegant sounds of classical music. Throughout Ponyville, she is the most well known among her entourage and among the most popular, all down to her skills on the bass and her standards of perfection. She sometimes does solo performances, or collaborates with other musicians to produce new pieces. Learning to work with others has been an important aspect of her career. So of course, when somepony submitted a proposal to introduce a bass drummer in her music, and then, when questioned, proceeded to smack the cymbals and drums to the sounds of Beethclover's Symphony, it could only have ended very badly for everypony involved. You should leave, Cause I personally don't believe In "You can't lose me, I'm the drummer" A bass in my hoof, Poised to smack you straight to the roof Prob'ly going to turn down, eject the drummer I’ll never hear such gruesome noise taint the classic music sheets I just can't take anymore of those infernal drumming beats And I can’t wait to see This cretin leave, believe you me The ensemble does not require the drummer Dah-dah, da-doo, a-bah-bah-bah bah-bah-boo The headache I've gotten is just so intense, A position with us, it just makes no sense! Rrr-raht da-daht dah-dah-dah dah-dah-dah dah dah doo Our arts go together like clean sheets and muck, So bass drums with classical, who gives a...flying feather! Could somepony tell him in the politest way I'd rather eat worms than listen to him play? Oh, I'm off to nurse, Since my head is getting worse Why did anypony feel that we needed the drummer! "I’m gonna tell him," Harpo said, making his way towards the door. Beauty Brass replied, "Please do..." THEEEEE DRUUUUMMEEEEEEEEEEEERR!!! Author's Note As requested by Awesomo3000 41. Let's Go Buy A Pint(Note: Sung to the tune of Mary Poppins's "Let's Go Fly A Kite") Sung by Berry Punch Berry Punch is the pony who really enjoys good drink. Whether it be soft drinks to Applejack's famous cider, she'll always be wherever there happens to be somewhere to quench her thirst. She's particularly fond of Pinkie Pie's Tutti-Frutti Sherbet Sugar Punch. (It's got seven parts of sugar for every part of fruit!) Apparently she counts that as one of her five-a-day. Oh yeah, and don't EVER suggest that she may have had enough. She'll TELL you when she's had enough. With 10 bits to spend for the day You can chug your worries away Fruit juice or cream soda Drink whatever's there This ever-thirsty mare Will drink down your wares Oh, oh, oh! Let's go buy a pint Fresh soda on my mind Let's go buy a pint and then just one more Whether flat or with foam Where there's drink, I'll surely roam Oh, let's go buy a pint! When my paycheck comes on down All at once I'm out on the town To the watering hole Among mares and the foals I'll drink all through the night Til I'm high as a kite Oh, oh, oh! Let's go buy a pint I know where there's drink to find! Let's go buy a pint and chug your mug down Down to the final drop You go broke and then you stop Let's go buy a pint! 42. I Split a Seam(Note: Sung to the tune of Tangled's "I've Got A Dream") Sung by Rarity, Vinyl Scratch aka DJ-Pon3 and the rest of the bar customers Do you ever have one of those moments where you've just gone through all the effort to construct something amazing, only to have the entire thing just sort of fall over and break with just one small touch? Well, that's what happened to Rarity one day, trying to fulfill an order to Manehatten's most well-known fashion group, Hazy Day. Thankfully, as she sat in Ponyville's local watering hole, nursing a Tutti-Frutti Sherbet Sugar Punch (not to Pinkie standards, but it sufficed), she discovered that a surprising amount of the customers were there for similar reasons. It was going to be fabulous Not boring bleak or drab-ulous I had finished the most flowing dress in ages The work was long and arduous And then it went to Tartarus It's my greatest fiasco in history pages It all started when a seam in the dress split I could have fixed that error in my dream! But then things turned for the worse It descended like a curse (Oh WHY?!) And it all started when I split a seam... She split a seam! She split a seam! Opal jumped on the desk and pulled the thread clean! As she sped away right then The dress tore up in pieces ten! It caught in her claw because I split a seam! You know, I was just chillaxin' When some ponies showed up askin' Oh scratch that, they just KICKED DOWN MY FRONT DOOR! They yelled out, "Get on your knees! Ev'rypony go and seize Her illegally purchased sheet music score! Sir Neon Lights, you, boy, are under arrest!" I know I'm not as girlish as I seem But my house had gotten wrecked He oughta go get his eyes checked! It was as bad as the time when You split a seam She split a seam! She split a seam! She split a seam! She split a seam! I told 'em Neon lived right across the stream! I was totally freaked out Tonight, should have just sneaked out It was as bad as the time You split a seam Lyra thought that she had a fatal illness Time Turner lost hundreds on the wheel And a pony did steal Pipsqueak's Pirate's sailing keel Raindrop's ill Berry's broke Sea Swirl's house filled with artichokes And barely one of us got our own episode! Wow, that's awful - oh no, really! I do mean it, true and dearly I see I am not alone in my suffering But we all know this, don't we? Misery loves company! So drinks on me, you get your night for nothing! I split a seam! She split a seam! I split a seam! She split a seam! But it's nothing compared to where you've all been! (Yeahh!) To Tartarus with Hazy Day Never liked her anyway I don't care about the fact I split a seam! You split a seam! I split a seam! You split a seam! I split a seam! So our diff 'rences ain't really that extreme! (We're one big team...!) Call it bad luck or coincidence Hope the bad luck is no precedence Hope it's nothing like the time She split a seam! I split a seam! You split a seam! She split a seam! She split a seam! She split a seam! I split a seam! Hope it's nothing like the time She split a seam! Yeahh! Author's Note As requested by Awesomo3000 44. Someday My Bits Will Come(Note: Sung to the tune of Snow White and the 7 Dwarves's "Someday My Prince Will Come") Sung by Coco Pommel Working in Manehatten for Suri Polomare isn't easy. The hours are long, the respect's low, and the pay's awful. Actually, awful doesn't do it justice. The bare minimum wage (VERY bare minimum) is all she gets, and quite often, it arrives late. Ludicrously late. Some day my bits will come Some day I'll get my pay And how thrilling that moment will be When 30 bits for the day comes to me I know I should just quit Find somewhere else for bits But I can't stay away I want to make fashion all day Some day when my cheque comes through Some day I'll get my wage Some bits to pay my rent And I'll know it'll come in eight days But I can't justify the long days Some day I'll get a raise So I'll work through the days Hope it's no loss I'll hope for a new boss Some day when my cheque comes through Somewhere waiting for me Is a new boss I'm longing to see Somepony I just can't help but adore Somepony who'll pay me a lot more Someday my bits will come Someday I will have a sum But I can't stay away I want to make fashion all day Some day when my cheque comes through Oh please make my cheque come through Author's Note In case it's not clear, I'm doing Barbara Streisand's version because there's more lyrics to work with. 46. Don't Like Me(Note: Sung to the tune of Aladdin's "Friend Like Me") Sung by Prince Blueblood Nopony really likes Prince Blueblood, and to his utter confusion, he doesn't really understand why. Of course if you were to ask anypony who knows him they'd tell you that he's arrogant, racist, greedy, joyless, an upper-class twit and really rather dim. When told to list one reason for being disliked, the above answer was what was offered to him. To which he replied, "Fine. But can you list a second reason?" Now I simply do not understand Why everypony tries to keep away You'd be the luckiest pony in the land Just to be with me for one whole day Yes, I demolished a disco one time And built a swimming pool right in its place But it would have been open ten til nine If you were part of a richer race Oh I'll say You common ponies there Why can't you all just let it be? I'd hug you, but I might get catch something Seems that ev'rypony don't like me No no I'm not that bad a prince I'd let you shine my shoes for free I can get quite chummy with the rich Seems that ev'rypony don't like me Yes sir, I pride ourselves on royalty I'm the boss The king, the shah Get what I wish It's mine! True dish I'm a prince and so I'm going far! I won't apologize Because it's true you see I'll try to ignore the fact you're poor Seems that ev'rypony don't like me I'm really not that bad! I'm really not that vain! I have even had a ride on your train! It was rather cramped And the ride was stiff I shall not started on the lowly commoner food But apart from that it was a gift! So doncha sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed You just look like you never went to school Are you sure you are quite certified At a tiny little shack for mules? Come on, I'm not that bad, am I? I was only taught to speak the truth But I won't touch your commoner tools, or try But I'd try to get along with you, forsooth! You common ponies there, If you knew me better you'd see That I only hate the poor, it's great Seems that ev'rypony don't, ev'rypony don't Seems that ev'rypony don't, ev'rypony don't Seems that ev'rypony don't like me Seems that ev'rypony don't like me, hah! Author's Note As requested by Le_DragonBroneE. Sorry if it's not quite what you were expecting, but this happened and I couldn't let go of the idea. 47. Everypony Has A Rapping Place(Note: Sung to the tune of Song Of The South's "Everybody Has A Laughing Place") Sung by Pinkie Pie "...No. No, I'm pretty sure nopony HAS a rapping place apart from you. Heck, I don't think anypony else even USES rap to learn," protested Rainbow Dash. "It's a 'rapping place'!" Pinkie replied. "What else will you use it for apart from rap?" "...But why would you need to set aside a 'place'...?" Rainbow muttered. Hey, hey, hey, yo, yo, yo Boy, are you in luck! I'll teach you 'bout my rapping place Yuk-yuk-yuk-yuk-yuk Everypony's got a rapping place A rapping place to go-ho-ho Swagger up, and go "Wazzup?" It's healthy, I should know-ho-ho When I learned how to bake a cake I kept on making lots of mistakes I was outta luck Until I found my rapping place Yuk-yuk-yuk-yuk-yuk Everybody's got a rapping place A rapping place to go-ho-ho My lessons set to punk rock and yet It helps my memory flow-ho-ho I turn my lessons to catchy words Take that frown, turn it upside down And just rap and make your lessons heard! Everybody's got a rapping place A rapping place to go-ho-ho And in my case, it's in a big space Hundred feet by four or so-ho-ho To make your own little 'rapping place' You'll need music and some space Don't forget some shades And you'll have your rapping place And you'll have it made Everybody's got a rapping place A rapping place to go-ho-ho And don't you forget to sweep it, lest It turns dusty and slow-ho-ho Everybody's got a rapping place A rapping place to go-ho-ho Take a frown, turn it upside down And you'll find yours we say-hey-hey 48. Hurling My Wife(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King's "Circle of Life") Sung by Shining Armor Many years later, as invading shadows clustered and gathered close around the Coronation Balcony of the Crystal Citadel, Prince Shining Armor's eyes tracked a falling star of bright teal across the poisoned ochre sky, a tiny streak that represented Equestria's final hope for salvation. If somepony could only fly up to it, catch it in her hooves and snatch it away from the ravenous jaws of the spirit of the ancient and deposed unicorn king, then the Crystal Empire – and, by proxy, all of the world – would be preserved. But Cadance was too weak from exertion to execute a proper pegasus takeoff. And even if his own horn had not been neutralized by dark crystal magic, the falling Heart was well out of his telekinetic range. There was, indeed, only one plan left... Skywriter. (2012). Chapter 1, Martial Bliss It's a very dark time for our planet We're all set to lose all our hope There's more to see than can ever be seen But now we're at the end of our rope There's far too much to take in here Nopony else can find a way But the Crystal's Heart's high Falling straight through the sky Only one thing that can save the day So I'm hurling my wife It'll save us all Through despair and hope Through faith and love So I pick up Cadence Aim for the target Then I'm hurling I'm hurling my wife Yes, I'm hurling my wife It'll save us all Through despair and hope Through faith and love So I pick up Cadence Aim for the target Then I'm hurling I'm hurling my wife Author's Note As requested by SoldierForce 49. Much Too Early(Note: Sung to the tune of The Hunchback Of Notre Dame's "Topsy-Turvey") Sung by Princesses Twilight Sparkle, Cadence and Luna He really was only trying to help. Honestly. Although, stealing a tome of dark magic from a room covered in spikes and kept in a dark cave and guarded with a barred and locked gate to restore Rarity's spirit probably wasn't well thought out on Spike's part. Twilight Sparkle, Luna and Cadence ended up spending the entirety of the next day rectifying Spike's mistake. And Twilight Sparkle grumbled and grouched all the way through. Seriously, it was way too early for this. Come one, come all All the statues and the stools, All got blinged up, and the tools Come one, come all Close the shops and all the schools Somepony's breaking the rules Whoever is doing this are... ...Fools! Zzzzz... Turning all of this gold back into solid stone Who's the idiot who wouldn't leave dark spells alone? Discord's enjoying this, but then he's just a clown You realize it's much too early, yeah? And Luna's not used to being up at this time The three of us will have to clean this crime Turning unnatural beauty back to grime The fools! Much too early Turning gems back into daises Much too early Today was meant to be lazy I could be doing something better That's the way, this much too early day Much too early Feel I should play the princess card now Much too early Cos this job's just way too hard now We were supposed to spend Friday at play Really shouldn't be complainin' But my flank, it's such a pain in Because it's a much too early day Come on, Cadence Poke Princess Luna again She has exhaustion on her brain Come on, Cadence I'll clean this cloud of rain We three have to take the strain By Tartarus, it's such a... Pain! A mariachi band's gotten lost as well What else is left, I really couldn't tell Spending all of today cancelling this spell And Fluttershy's birdhouse is like a castle! A big fountain of champagne, watch it fizz Irresponsible use of magic is a hit-and-miss Cleaning a problem that shouldn't have happened is A hassle. Why? Much too early And Luna's asleep on her hooves Much too early Now I think I know what this proves Don't put forbidden magic on display Because it's a much too early day Ev-er-y-po-ny! Turning all of this gold back into solid stone We're nearly there! Who's the idiot who wouldn't leave dark spells alone? Oh thank Celestia Discord's enjoying this, but then he's just a clown Yes, Huzzah! Working on this much too early day We've come this far And it's the day we clean up magic we deplore Ponyville's incidents? We stopped keeping score... But now we have canceled everything, Now nothing Else needs emptying If you don't mind, we're all heading Back to bed, it's done our heads in Much...too... Ear...ly... Much too early, Mad and crazy Upsy-daisy, much too early day! Author's Note As requested by Revenant Wings 51. When We're Griffons(Note: Sung to the tune of The Princess And The Frog's "When We're Human") Sung by Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash and Applejack Fluttershy was assigned to aid a small group of pony-like faeries known as Breezies make their way home with their collected pollen in tow. It was...difficult, putting it mildly. So in order to help things along, Twilight Sparkle used a spell turning herself and her friends into Breezies so that they could travel together with them and help them along. It may have been a mistake, because Rainbow Dash soon started asking Twilight if she knew any spell that could make her a griffon. Or a dragon. It didn't even have to be a dragon that spewed fire! If I were a griffon right now I wouldn't trip over my claws I'd like to see if I'm just as fast And let out a throaty roar You've heard of my friend Gilda, You ever wonder how She builds up all of that muscle And that beak, does it make you go "wow"?, Listen... When I'm a griffon As I hope to be I'm gonna fly the coop 'Til I'm totally pooped And everypony's gonna bow down to me Now that sounds mighty cool Ah actually wouldn't mind Ah'd like to fly all proper like Without having to find The slightest wind can shake me Can blow me left and right But bigger, ah could fly the coop Now that seems jus' 'bout right Eh, Rainbow? But there is A small catch to make Ah'd need to eat And that's the thing Don't like the thought of havin' steak When Ah'm a griffon Rainbow's gonna be Ah'd just settle on keepin' tabs on Dash So that she don't get hurt, ya see I won't humor your request or your sense of curiosity You're still struggling as a Breezy And now you want to change biology!? If you're a griffon now You'd need to act like one You would both need to get used to meat Feel your talons rake across the street Magic is Not some cheap toy The Princess said that And I'll never forget So don't try it for a cheap ploy When we're griffons Or if we're gonna be I'd be careful, dude! I would like to fly It's a real fast track to Getting banished to the sun! When we're griffons 53. Witty Or Trite(Note: Sung to the tune of The Brave Little Toaster's "City Of Light") Sung by you, um...if that's alright with you... You know, if the ponies ever found out about this world and our interpretations of them, they'd lose quite a lot of sleep over it, I'm guessing. At least we can reassure them that the names we give them are somewhat affectionate. Right? Are you Twilightlicious Do you have your own cane? Someone's saying AJ's A silly pony again. Rarity's A marshmallow? Please... And Fluttershy would make A perfect little tree? But how she'd do it Just makes no sense to me Rainbow Dash Must have a cider stash Princess Celestia's a merciless troll And everyone's changelings too Soarin' would swap out pie for his soul So I hear people say Sweetie Belle's a bot Dictionary, or not? Who derelles on the spot Is it true? Is it witty, So witty Or trite? Pinkie's a psycho-in-hiding Scootaloo's chicken too Crackle is best dragon Not that she would care, mind you Sombra King Likes stairs, it's his thing Trixie loves her pinecones Sunset Shimmer's Gary Oak? Cadence is a missile; Spikezilla? Holy smokes! Is it witty, or trite? Chrysalis has got Swiss Cheese Legs as I understand Who gets all the stallions? It's Braeburn! Smoothie Lyra just don't care, Derpy Hooves is everywhere Big Macintosh's love for a doll is learned... But the one with the most names by far Is Princess Luna, no contest A gamer, useless, or a good Freddy Kreuger As we double the fun She missed anything? She don't even get to sing To Abacus, she clings Is it true? Is it witty, So witty Or trite? Author's Note As requested by Dirty Bit 55. The Dragon Code Matters(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King's "Hakuna Matata") Sung by Spike and Applejack One day, Spike was left with a lot of free time on his hooves. He tried to pass the time with a ride in a balloon, but something went badly wrong and he wound up in the Everfree Forest. And at the mercy of timberwolves. Thankfully, Applejack happened to be there to rescue him, and so Spike owed Applejack a life debt. Celestia help her... The Dragon Code matters! There just ain't two ways! The Dragon Code matters? Sure it ain't just some craze? I'm bound to serve you for the rest of my days! It's the way two friends can make amends...? The Dragon Code Matters Why, Twilight said it was okay Twilight said it was okay!? The Dragon Code says to prove nobility You should serve your savior. I'm all yours, me! Ah'm all flattered, but Ah really don't think Y'all really owe me a bit or anything Celestia help me...! Until you owe me! What a pain this'll be...! It's no trouble to me! I'm down on mah luck How do you feel? Well and truly f... ...uh, happy to have ya...Ah guess? The Dragon Code matters! There just ain't two ways! The Dragon Code matters? Guess it ain't just some craze... I'm bound to serve you for the rest of my days! It's the way two friends can make amends...? The Dragon Code Matters Author's Note As requested by dragonspinner33 57. A Troll New World(Note: Sung to the tune of Aladdin's "A Whole New World") Sung by Discord 1 and Discord 2 Discord, the Spirit of Chaos, was known as one of Equestria's most dangerous villains, who has been fought and turned to stone no less than twice, due to his innate desire for mayhem and, well, he's not exactly what you call a kind individual. Although he recently came round to the idea of friendship, he still likes to test exactly how much he can get away with before he gets stoned again. Because boy, does he get bored really easily. Also, without the Elements of Harmony (they were recently returned to their place of birth to stabilize the tree from which they were born), nopony's actually physically powerful enough to tell him otherwise anyway. I can show you the past With that zebra's potion Whoops, the events in motion Were of the day you were conceived. (Ew!) You think I have blue flu? Too bad I was just faking That's your reason for waking: The attention I received! A troll new world A new fantastic game to play No one to tell me no or where to go Since I'm stronger anyway A troll new world A time of setting tempers high But whatcha gonna do? I look at you You're just too small to tell me otherwise! (Just too small to tell me otherwise!) Unbelievable sights I turned the lake to mustard Whipped cream, chocolate and custard It's great as topping on pie A troll new world (Do you want chocolate rain?) But this just ain't the worst I've done (Or bunnies with legs like stilts?) But relax, don't you fret! I'm not done yet Everypony recovered under Sunbutt's sun A troll new world (Relax, it's only a joke) With new boundaries I've yet to cross (I could make your garden wilt) I'll test my limits and No reprimands Unless it's Fluttershy, cos she's the boss A troll new world A troll new world That's what I like That's what I like Don't like it? Tough! It's not enough So take a hike! Author's Note As requested by SoldierForce 59. I Wanna Pee Like You(Note: Sung to the tune of The Jungle Book's "I Wanna Be Like You") Sung by Pinkie Pie It is true that you don't actually see that many toilets around. In actual fact, the only public potty in Ponyville as far as anypony is aware of is an outhouse right at Sweet Apple Acres. Well, at least as far as everypony else knows, there ARE other places, but regarding a delicate subject such as this, nopony is aware of the existence of other toilets other than the outhouse and of course their own. One thing's for sure though; Pinkie took a shine to outhouses after she and her friends visited Dodge Junction and now wants one too. Bu-ba-do-do-do-be-do Now I'm liking that outhouse there, I'm the potty VIP, Cause all I've got is a chamber-pot, And that's what botherin' me. I wanna sit down on a loo, And read the paper there, And be like the Apple Family, I just know that it ain't fair! Oh, oobee doo, (Oop-de-we) I wanna pee like you, (Hop-de-do-be-do-bow) I want it like you do, Yeah, through and through! (We-be-de-be-de-boo) You'll see it's true, (Shoo-be-de-do) Somepony like me, (Scooby-do-be-do-be) Can get myself an outhouse too! Now don't try to kid me, Applejack, I'll make a deal with you. I'm in a rush to try and flush, To make my dream come true! I want to hole up in a shack, As I do my biz inside, What I want's a hut, a door to shut An outhouse, certified! Yoo-hoo! I wanna pee like you! I wanna go like you! Know like you, too! You'll see it's true! Somepony like me, Can learn to be, Like somepony like me, (Build me an outhouse!) Can learn to be, Like somepony like you, (one more time!) Yeah, can learn to be, Like somepony like me! Author's Note Inspired by that whole toilets in Equestria thing on Lauren Faust's Twitter. 60. Bothering The Teacher(Note: Sung to the tune of Peter Pan's "Following The Leader") Sung by Cheerilee Every classroom has a problem child in it somewhere as a student. There are almost no exceptions to this rule. And to be honest, even a pony as patient and as loving as Cheerilee has to draw the line somewhere. Especially since the new kid transferred and she entered the classroom every day to find that he'd written "should go buck herself" right under where she'd written her name in chalk. Every. Day. Ho hum, ho hum, a problem student's play Ho hum, why me, the note under the desk says "Come kiss my flank", I'm dealing with this all day Just a tedious one, a tedious one, I say Ho hum, whoopee cushion lying on my chair He swapped my coffee for taffy straight from the fair He's such a pain, he makes me tear out my hair What a tedious colt, it really just isn't fair!! He's bothering the teacher, the teacher, the teacher He's bothering the teacher wherever I may go Cause even when he's not here, he's not here, he's not here Cause even when he's not here somepony lets me know... Ho hum, why me, there's oatmeal in my desk He's out for fun and he will never stop to rest The way he rolls is criminal genius-esque Not to mention his apathy for learning's grotesque But when he's playing hooky, all hooky, all hooky But when he's playing hooky, that's when I worry most A Royal Guard may show up, may show up, may show up A Royal Guard may show up, and then the kid will boast Ho hum, why me, he's hanging out in the gym He hides comics in the books I give to him He doesn't care, he only acts on a whim Just a tedious one, a tedious one, it's him He's bothering the teacher, the teacher, the teacher He's bothering the teacher wherever I may go Cause even when he's not here, he's not here, he's not here Cause even when he's not here somepony lets me know... Ho hum, ho hum, a problem student's play Ho hum, why me, the note under the desk says "Come kiss my flank", I'm dealing with this all day Just a tedious one, a tedious one, I say Just a tedious one, a tedious one, I say 61. The Crime Of My Life(Note: Sung to the tune of A Bug's Life's "The Time Of Your Life") Sung by Rainbow Dash Breaking into the hospital to read Daring Do required meticulous planning and careful forethought so as not to get caught trespassing. A true mastermind has two options before them; thoughtful contemplation, or reckless abandon. After thoughtful contemplation, Rainbow Dash chose reckless abandon. Is that book, Daring Do, still in there? Sneaking in, trespassing, who could care? A new patient's in the room (Has he got the novel?) I get caught, it spells my doom (My crime's quite colossal) Sneaky sneak, I'll get it soon (Even if I must grovel) Hiding out among the gloom Feathers! The new guy just woke up as well Feathers! The new guy just woke up as well He called hospital security As far as I can tell (I could be wrong about that) It’s the crime of my life It’s the crime of my life It’s the crime of my life, it's not gone well Chased by docs, and barking dogs...Hang on, but... I'm sure that's a pony thinking she's a mutt I know in order to succeed (I have to reach the river) Swing on vines like a noble steed (It makes me want to shiver) My wings don't have the strength I need (To fly off and deliver) Do or die, I gotta try I've passed Sugarcube Corner, running pell-mell And the Carousel Boutique, running pell-mell Those guys are still hot on my hooves As far as I can tell (I could be wrong about that) It’s the crime of my life, it's not gone well Isn't it a bit surprising? I'm just now hitting Golden Oaks I'm not so good at improvising My alibi's going up in smoke Believe me I'm heading for the dungeon, and that ain't swell I'm heading for the dungeon, and that ain't swell And I left the book at the doc's As far as I can tell It’s the crime of my life It’s the crime of my life It’s the crime of my life, it's not gone well 62. Dangers Like These(Note: Sung to the tune of Tarzan's "Strangers Like Me") Sung by Twilight Sparkle Twilight Sparkle is like one of those detectives you read about in long-running detective novels; wherever they go, something bad happens. Parasprites, Discord, magic bears and villains of Equestria...Ponyville is a place where the extraordinary and unbelievable are just part of everyday life. At least they don't have to deal with traffic. Whatever you do, I'll do it too I get roped into incidents somehow What will it be this week? A crisis to avert Day 1, I had to deal with Nightmare Moon And there was the Ursa Minor so far Getting rid of a dragon, tasked to me Oh, I just know there's something bigger out there And a parasprite swarm worried me I wanna know about these dangers like these Don't know what's next to be Strange frequency of these dangers like these I had to watch every move Discord makes Makes me feel like never before Cutie Pox plague Just barely averted, and then there's... ...Ooh, these emotions Spike never knew Rampaging through town hoarding through this place Beyond the trees, above the clouds A changeling kingdom plotted And evil King Sombra worried me I wanna know about these dangers like these Don't know what's next to be Strange frequency of these dangers like these Pinkie Pie clones consume the towm Trixie's amulet, beyond my dreams And a crisis I made myself Sunset Shimmer Stole my crown There's a world I need to know Tirek shows up and battles me I wanna know about these dangers like these Don't know what's next to be Strange frequency of these dangers like these ...I wanna know 64. Button(Note: Sung to the tune of Beauty And The Beast's "Gaston") Sung by Diamond Tiara Diamond Tiara is the ultimate Daddy's Little Princess mixed with sadist bully. She's known for bullying the Cutie Mark Crusaders, but to be quite honest she'll pick on anypony who doesn't have a cutie mark, like Button Mash. She's called Button names in the past, deriding his past failures, his relationship with Sweetie Belle, and just basically making fun of his inability to do a lot right apart from gaming. It would sting a lot less if it wasn't for the fact that she was actually technically right. Gosh it amuses me to see you, Button Crashing through life as it comes It really must stink to be you, Button Especially when taking your lumps There's nopony in town who fails like you do Except on a gaming screen Everyone else is just glad they ain't you Just where has your competence been? No one pains like Button No one faints like Button No one sets fire to their toy train like Button You're accident prone, no denying that! You're clumsiness incarnate! And fighting the last boss totally fell flat I'd wager on outcomes and win all the bets! No one flees like Button Trips with ease like Button No one else gets bad milkshake brain-freeze like Button As far as colts go, that guy's not got a hope at all! My what a dolt, that Button! Give five "hurrahs!" Give twelve "hip-hips!" Button stands out even among the drips! No one sleep-ers like Button Cries weepers like Button On Minecraft, no-one dies to Creepers like Button! For there's no one as clumsy and nerdy That colt's great but only in games He'd get his mane pecked by the birdies. That's right! His clumsiness could make him famous in name! No one cracks like Button Takes the whacks like Button Loses contests on apple juice packs like Button He's not even that hot at Pong either! Ptoooie! No points for Button! One morning he got up all ready for school At this point you'll laugh til you cough His mother yelled back that the kid was a fool It's Sunday, he got the day off! No one's done like Button Lost to Stun like Button Then gets grounded in Humgonian like Button! And somehow he has a thing for mustaches! Say it again! Who's a loser? And then You just say it once more Who's that lame-o next door? Lost in video games A different kind of lame! Ask anypony who knows what's on There's just one colt in town Who's got all of it down... And his name's B-U-T... U... B-U-T-T-E... B-U-T-T-O... ohh, ow... BUTTON!!! My what a guy! BUTTON! Author's Note As requested by Seanchow806Napoleonic 65. You Gotta Blend With Me(Note: Sung to the tune of Toy Story's "You've Got A Friend In Me") Sung by Sweetie Belle It's possible to burn juice. That is what Rarity learned when she came downstairs one morning to find that Sweetie Belle had tried to make breakfast for the two of them. She has since barred Sweetie from cooking for both of them. Not that you can ever stop a Cutie Mark Crusader once her eyes are on the prize. So she enlisted some help who were just as clueless about cooking and got to work. You gotta blend with me You gotta blend with me In the bin you'll find the bread I'm practicing breakfast When I get outta bed Deep fried pancakes will keep us fed Girl, you gotta blend with me Yeah, you gotta blend with me You gotta blend with me You gotta blend with me Put the juice into the grill And pour the coffee beans Til the kettle's filled The butter's twitching and won't keep still Girl, you gotta blend with me You gotta blend with me I'm practicing breakfast until I can make a Full Equish Have you an orange slice too? Maybe I can get juice out if I use a hammer Think that will do, it's me and you, girl. I brought pancake mix to life I'm reaching straight for the knife In the blender goes eggs and tea You gotta blend with me You gotta blend with me You gotta blend with me Author's Note As requested by dragonspinner33 Also still running out of titles. Leave a comment suggesting good ones plz 66. Think Evidence On Parade(Note: Sung to the tune of Dumbo's "Pink Elephants On Parade") Sung by Twilight Sparkle One day, the Cakes were intending to enter the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness" (or MMMM), in Equestria's National Dessert Competition. Pinkie watched the cake out of fear of sabotage (until she fell asleep, bless her and her short attention span), and then woke up to find that "the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness! It's been... mutilated!" The game was ahoof. It was like Arthur Clopan Doyle's books, only with less corpses and more marzipan. First though, Twilight Sparkle had to actually run Pinkie through the concept of evidence, if only to stop her accusing everyone one by one. Look out! Look out! Think evidence on parade... Gather clues! Hop to it, hop to it! They're here, and there Clues lying 'round ev'rywhere Look out! Look out! Can't accuse without the proof Under the roof Get to it, get to it To make the grade Think evidence on parade You in the pink? You in the pink? Don't overlook anything! First you have to gather clues Then form conclusions, that's step two Not accuse ponies as you do It's really too much for me Best if we retrace our path To find the puzzle pieces fast Then using logic, science and math We'll both find the culprit behind the crime! Now it's time! Get on your way! Get on your way! I'm afraid you need aid Think evidence on parade! Hey hey hey Think evidence! Think evidence! Think evidence.... Author's Note As requested by BrownDog77 67. Ship-A-Dee-Doo-Dah(Note: Sung to the tune of Song Of The South's "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah") Sung by Derpy Hooves Equestria Speedy Shipping and Postal Services is the best (well, only, hence best) postal service in town, operating several local branches all over the country. Derpy Hooves is the most well-known mailmare in Ponyville, largely because she as a pony makes everything memorable...in a way. Having said that though, she does often get into trouble with the boss due to her wonky eye causing a lot of problems. Like falling parcels of varying size to home-wares to PIANOS. Seriously, who thought that transporting a piano BY HOOF several hundred metres in the air was a good idea, lamented Twilight one day as she lay in a hospital bed. Ship-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Ship-A-Dee-Ay Whoopsy, I've got butterhooves today There's a grand piano falling your way Ship-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Ship-A-Dee-Ay Oh please don't sue us for injury It's the truth I'm filling in I normally work on the mail bins Ship-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Ship-A-Dee-Ay Hope you have enough Stamps for today Ship-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Ship-A-Dee-Ay Send packages and mail all day Roughly the right direction or way Ship-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Ship-A-Dee-Ay And these anvils are quite heavy It's the truth Can you blame me If they fall a hundred metres or three? Ship-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Ship-A-Dee-Ay Work doesn't mix with Feelings of play I just don't know what went wrong here! It's the truth Just keep in mind I'm very nearly sorta half blind Ship-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Ship-A-Dee-Ay Hope you have enough Stamps for today Author's Note As requested by Le_DragonBroneE 69. A Mare Worth Smiting More(Note: Sung to the tune of Mulan's "A Girl Worth Fighting For") Sung by Trixie "Revenge will be The Great and Powerful Trixie's!" That was the thought running through her head when Trixie purchased the Alicorn Amulet (which led to a new law stating that evil artifacts have a three-day waiting period). As she trotted to Ponyville, she happily (and somewhat evilly) sang to herself... For a long time, I've been preparing for battle Getting by on a rock farm working like cattle As I hop and step, My ruined rep ain't easy to ignore I think of instead, A mare worth smiting more That's what I said, A mare worth smiting more I want that Twilight Sparkle gone Shame her like she shamed me My fans will marvel at my strength And all the crowd will see I couldn't care less what I'll do Like mass hysteria I want to kick Sparkly's posterior Post-haste, right now! Mmm! The Alicorn Amulet will give me the power The strength to topple mountains and bring down the towers You'd be surprised at what a thousand buys At the local knick-knack store Why'd I want it? A mare worth smiting more I'll throw Sparklebutt out of town Send her to public shame Is there a chance that Snarkle will Beat me at my own game? Nah! Come what may, I'll have her gone by tricks or by force Knock the purple prude off her high-horse Oh sure I could just hit her if things don't go peachy The amulet gives me the strength, so don't act preachy Might makes right means having a bigger stick than before Twilight Sparkle's A mare worth smiting more That pony is A mare worth smiting more A mare worth smiting...more Author's Note As requested by Le_DragonBroneE 70. Holding my Breath(Note: Sung to the tune of Tangled's "Mother Knows Best") Sung by Pinkie Pie Trixie, some years prior, had arrived in Ponyville for a magic show, but soon got upstaged by Twilight after she successfully fended off an Ursa Minor when Trixie couldn't. Bent on revenge, she saved up enough money making ends meet on a rock farm, and purchased a forbidden object known as the Alicorn Amulet, and went back to Ponyville. Pinkie said that she was lucky the rock farm even hired her, and in response, Trixie erased her mouth so she couldn't talk...also wiping her nostrils away as well. Silver lining? Pinkie broke the world record for holding her breath the longest! For two days I just had to hold my breath in I couldn't eat cupcakes or even sneeze Even though my vocal chords were working Trixie wiped the smile off my face with ease! That's right! Couldn't belch or yodel, or... Sing or eat or whistle or blow raspberries Be swallowed by the black embrace of death Soon, but not yet Twilight would win the bet Holding my breath Holding my breath It was rather painful At least I beat Sweetie Belle Holding my breath Really rather strain-ful If you've tried it you can tell Two days, four Hours, eighteen minutes Thirty six seconds: the time! Beat her score Of only six minutes And didn't even need medical attention! Meanie Pants Takes away my nostrils And my mouth with all the rest Confrontation Asphyxiation Holding my breath I could have kept on going on for longer But when Twilight just gave me back my snout I just wanted to eat and come back stronger I only realized this right now: I'm Equestria's breath-holding champion A record from an awful mess! My blocked lungs, and One-pony band Holding my breath Holding my breath Had to use my front legs To billow air into the brass And I used my hair To turn the tuning pegs To provide important gas Managed to play Ten different instruments Without needing to use my mouth For two days I was in a predicament I am the queen of multitasking! And that was Season Three's Fifth great Episode there All I have is one request... Don't forget it You'll regret it Holding my breath Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. Seriously though, how did Pinkie BREATHE during that episode? 71. Lather And Suds(Note: Sung to the tune to Aladdin And The King Of Thieves's "Father And Son") Sung by Fluttershy It's Angel Bunny's bath night! And as you would probably expect from any young critter, he absolutely hates it with a burning passion. But, well, sometimes we have to makes folks do what they hate for their own good. Angel, come out from behind the sofa Put the pan you're wielding down! You've been outside getting mucky Rid your face of that grumpy frown! Don't make me use The Stare Just come quietly, Washing grime off and all the mud Wash the fur right out Leave you clean and stout Together with lather and suds! Fill the tub right up And the shampoo cup Grab the scrubbing brush Anticipating escapes and a rush But I've locked the door Can't escape no more Til he's totally clean I'm a lean green washing machine (I'd use the word mean, but I really don't think I ever want to be like that...) I've made sure the temperature's okay You know that it would be wise If you didn't struggle and just sit still Soap wouldn't get in your eyes! Oh, they way you act You'd think that I'm out To steal your soul or blood But I want nothing more, Than to wash your fur Together with lather and suds! May be a bumpy ride Must make sure to get both sides You can't escaped, and I know you've tried Just keep right still, I'm almost done! Now I just rinse off the foam there There we go! Now you're squeaky clean! We've been through this hundreds of times Nothing bad's happened, so it seems! I'll go fetch the towel Then you can leave And I'll just mop up the flood Bath-time's always a hassle Together (together, together, together) with lather and suds! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123 79. One Mug Ahead(Note: Sung to the tune of Aladdin's "One Jump Ahead") Sung by Applejack, Flim and Flam, the gathering crowd, Rainbow Dash, and Granny Smith One day, during another Cider Season, two brothers showed up at Sweet Apple Acres with a machine that they claimed would be able to make enough cider for everypony in town, quicker than the Apples could. To their credit, Flim and Flam's machine, The Super-Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000, DID work, but their proposition of a joint venture was anything but fair. The incident eventually escalated when Granny Smith proposed a contest: whoever could make the most cider would leave town. So of course, in order to stop the Apples from losing the farm, Applejack's friends stepped in to help. Gotta keep One mug ahead of the brothers One apple ahead of the boys To beat those two and their fancy toy! "That’s a rodeo!” One mug ahead of the snake-oil That's all, and that's no joke Or the Apples’ gonna find themselves broke Press on! Work that Treadmill! Big Mac! Have to keep this up, girls SSCS! Pump those cups, girl! Ah can take a hint, Gotta face the facts: We’ve gotta step up to the plate! Wait! I’m working as fast as my hooves will let me Without resorting to great bodily harm! It’s like the Flim-Flam bros are out to get me… Gotta work to brew, Gotta brew to win Tell y’all about it if we keep the farm! One mug ahead of the slowpokes One jug ahead of our loss Like we’re fighting the very last boss One mug ahead of the low-downs One drink ahead of the flock Me and the girls are gonna show we rock Good ‘un! Bad ‘un! Do we Have ‘em? Girls, Ah think we’re winning! My stamina's rather thinning... Gotta work to brew, Gotta brew to win The Apple Family’s doin’ great too! One mug ahead of the hoofbeats (Press on!) One pint ahead of the bin (Work that!) One cup ahead of disaster (Treadmill!) They're quick, but we're much faster (Big Mac!) Here goes: Headin’ for the home stretch Make it on our own stretch All Ah gotta do is win! 80. Upon The Oddest Dreams(Note: Sung to the tune of Sleeping Beauty's "Once Upon A Dream") Sung by Princess Luna As Princess of the Night, one of Princess Luna's duties is to gaze into the reams of both foals and ponies alike, keeping their sleep away from nightmares and offering guidance to lost souls in their dreams. She does this by physically entering the dreams and shaping them as she desires, if she senses fitful sleep and torment. But of course, not every dream she has entered is a nightmare. Sometimes they're just REALLY surreal. I’ll tell you I hath come upon the oddest dreams I know you Will laugh as I spin a tale of mares and whipped cream You see it's true She dreamed of drowning in frosting green So I chased away the great creamy spray I told Mrs. Cake Her cakes were still great within the dream In the oddest time A filly dreams of trouble And make it double Princess of the Night Patrols the realm of dreaming Forever gleaming In the oddest time In the oddest night In the oddest wish In the oddest dream I’ll tell you About another surreal night There she was Skateboarding on Discord’s head straight into the light I know technically This vision was more than what it seems Then she pulled a flip No flaws and no slip I don’t think I’ll pry It’s just Pinkie Pie’s most oddest dream In the oddest time A stallion dreams of romance Yet having no chance Princess of the Night Knows dreams are their reality Keep poised regality In the oddest time In the oddest night In the oddest wish In the oddest dream Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah Princess of the Night Patrols the realm of dreaming Forever gleaming In the oddest time In the oddest night In the oddest wish In the oddest dream (In the oddest time) (In the oddest night) (In the oddest wish) In the oddest dream (Oddest dream) In the oddest dream (Oddest dream) In the oddest dream Author's Note As requested by The Princess Rarity. BTW, this is the Emily Osment version of the song. More lyrics, you see. 81. Mishap Off Sandy Shores(Note: Sung to the tune of The Nightmare Before Christmas's "Kidnap The Sandy Claws") Sung by Twilight Sparkle Fluttershy was reluctant to release a fish called Gil that she had nursed back to health, and so Twilight and the rest of her friends went to the beach together to try and convince her to let him go. Then a pirate ship washed up on the shore (as you do), beginning yet another weird adventure for all. Mishap off sandy shores? I'll spin a shanty And some more It started when Fluttershy Just wouldn't tell A lil' fish goodbye Oh yes, that is why Wheeee La, la, la, la, la, la La-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la, la, la La-la-la-la-la Mishap off sandy shores, misadventure! Ho! I'll tell you every detail - all you need to know So we were chillin' on the sand But then a ship washes up and It washed Gil straight into the sea Out of reach of those on land A pirate captain disembarks He says he wants to find some mark At Gallopinghost Islands tides And Rainbow dragged us for the ride Mishap off sandy shores, started off so plain We got roped into swashbuckling then went home again We stopped first at an old port town, Hoofbeard explain what will go down We had to recover a map That his old crew had stashed Wheeee! While Fluttershy recovered Gil AJ fed him pineapple swill Hoofbeard admits that if we fail Pirates Pony's totally doomed Rest of us went to a bar Found that's where Hoofbeard's old crew are They tried to kidnap me But out of them, I kicked the tar! Mishap off sandy shores, it gets strange from here So go get your rum bottles and go lend me an ear They admit that the map is in a nearby creature's pit Cos they got sick of chasing the moving "X" that's on it We get led where they chucked the map It's guarded by a giant crab Pinkie Pie distracts it with fun We grab the map and run! Ummm! We meet back on the ship with the map and clue A message Hoofbeard sent that says "I'll meet up with you" Our stake in Hoofbeard has just thinned He then leads us somewhere With no wind We're lost! You see! I get something, listen now So we all stage a mutiny And we intend to head straight back We make some wind, then suddenly Out of nowhere we're set upon We get attacked by merponies One of which Hoofs has his eye on And that's what the X means, you see Mishap off sandy shores, so all is explained And Fluttershy has realised she can't make the fish stay Mishap off sandy shores, together at last The merponies give us a ride and we head home so fast Mishap off sandy shores, started off so plain We got roped into swashbuckling then went home again Author's Note As requested by Dirty Bit. Based on the comic book series. 82. Walk About(Note: Sung to the tune of Dumbo's "Roustabouts") Sung by Trixie Why doesn't Trixie trust wheels? Well, only Trixie really knows for sure, but she is prepared to vehemently argue against these round revolutionary contraptions until she's blue (er) in the face. Down! With! Down! With! Down! With! Wheels! They think they’re great because they’re round The way they roll along the ground Trixie would rather walk about! Down! With! Down! With! Down! With! Wheels! The moment when you lose control Straight to your doom you have to roll Trixie would rather walk about! Down! With! Down! With! Down! With! Wheels! You prop those things along the side You never know when they may slide away (Note when Trixie says, they come right off and roll away) They’re injuries waiting to come It’s no surprise they make me glum today (Trixie would not pay, for disaster on the way) Round disasters Coming faster Trixie feels she should make clear (Listen!) Eighteen hundred Wheel-based injuries Every single year! Sledges are the Way to go farther Lay them flat along the floor! Naught to fall off Get them all off Don’t want any more Down! With! Down! With! Down! With! Down! With! Down! With! Down! With! Down! With! Wheels! If you would pull down to the bone They’ll exercise your muscle tone You know you’d rather walk about! Point being made here, Wheels ain’t safe here They’d come off and fall on you! They’re that risky Don’t blame Trixie If they take your leg off too! Wheels stink! Wheels stink! Wheels stink! Wheels stink! 84. Lie On Lie(Note: Sung to the tune of A Goofy Movie's "Eye To Eye") Sung by Discorded Applejack "When the truth makes your heat ache, sometimes a lie is easier to take." Those were the words spoken by Discord as he changed Applejack from a mare who values honesty to a chronic liar. It's probably not a good idea to look for answers from her during this time. Not until Twilight can hit Applejack with a memory spell and bring her back to normal. Yeah-Yeah! Yeah-Yeah! Listen up real closely, Ah won’t go repeat myself again... Ah’ll get real homely, And tell things to turn you on the head. One in six ponies got abducted by aliens at some point. (Yeah!) And if you cut a diamond dog in two, out comes coins! Milk feels pain, clowns melt in the heat Worms on toast is a savory treat. Penguins just pretend they cannot fly, Do Ah look like the sorta mare who’d go put lie on lie? You ever been out and seen a slug? They’re snails ‘fore they got stolen from And did you know that ladybugs Leave the biggest poops on the lawn? Ponies wearing scarves are hiding that they don’t have necks. (Yeah!) Short-sighted folks keep their faces warm with double-specs. (During the winter weather!) Rub two red-maned folks together, you can Start up a fire if that is yer plan. Applelooza is four by nine feet wide, Do Ah look like the sorta mare who’d go put lie on lie? (Yes, Ah wouldn’t put lie on lie.) Wouldn’t put lie on… (Ah ain’t the mare who’d go put on...) Ah wouldn’t go put lie on lie (Lie on lie) A lie Ah wouldn’t put lie on lie. (Lie on lie) If you're ever puzzled, then stop! You don't have to be. Applejack has all of the answers that you’ll ever need. (Take a look inside and see.) Yeaaaaah! Can openers were made one hundred years Before the can even made it here! You can’t touch your face so don’t even try Do Ah look like the sorta mare who’d go put lie on lie? Putting on lie on… Putting on lie on lie. Ah wouldn’t put lie on lie, baby. Ah wouldn’t put… Ah wouldn’t put... Lie on lie Ah wouldn’t. Ah wouldn’t, baby. Wouldn’t put lie on… Do Ah look like the sorta mare? Hey, yeah. Ah just ain’t, baby. Ah wouldn’t put lie on lie. No, Ah ain’t. (C'mon, baby.) Lie on lie Lie on lie Lie on lie Lie on lie! Yeaaaaaaaaah! 85. The Books Of Golden Oaks(Note: Sung to the tune of The Hunchback of Notre Dame's "The Bells Of Notre Dame") Sung by Spike and Twilight Sparkle During one of Twilight Sparkle's "Twilight Time" sessions with the other fillies, one of the activities they did was to tell the story of how Nightmare Moon came to be, combining the old legend from the books with Twilight's version of events (as she saw them through the flashback potion from Zecora). Is everyone sitting comfortably? Pull up a chair and listen up And listen to the most famous tale Gather round kids, and we’ll go spin a tale To the books of Golden Oaks This library has stories straight from the vales In the books of Golden Oaks This story’s about a dark princess A princess who’s mind went all broke And some say it’s the best page-turner That’s ever been spoke From books of Golden Oaks So let us start from the very first page From this book of Golden Oaks “Back in Celestia and Luna’s age,” Says this book of Golden Oaks, “Celestia managed the daytime And Luna took care of the night But to be quite honest Luna thought her job was a joke,” Says the book of Golden Oaks. But it gets worse Cos everypony took naps right there under the stars But it gets worse Yet did all their stuff during daytime. Not up to par… Let me go get the snacks Don’t mind me, just carry on the story Spike, where do you keep the cookies? Never mind, they’re in the cupboard… Won’t be long, just keep on going… “So Princess Luna grew jealous. And dark forces allowed themselves to fill the void in her heart with dark emotions. When Princess Celestia next saw her, she was barely recognizable. She was now…Nightmare Moon.” “There Nightmare Moon was, sitting on the throne,” Says this book from Golden Oaks, “She declared that she would rule all alone,” Says this book from Golden Oaks “She lets off a black beam of darkness So Princess Celestia spoke, ‘I don’t want you to go, But go Taste the Rainbow and choke!’” Says the book of Golden Oaks But it gets worse She harnessed the power of Harmony to send her to space But it gets worse Sealed up in the moon, where she could do no harm to this place “But it got a whole lot better after that, right?” asked a small filly in the audience, raising her pale-blue hoof. “Well, of course!” Spike nodded, grinning. “One thousand years later, Twilight Sparkle came to Ponyville and managed to banish the darkness from Princess Luna!” “Not alone, though,” Twilight pointed out. “I had my friends.” “So you did,” Spike said. He glanced up at the clock. “Buuut…that’s a story for another time. Think of Twilight’s story as a sequel for next time!” But the abridged version? Princess Celestia sent me To make some friends. And to tie up some loose ends Elements of Harmony Set Luna free But if you want the unedited yarn Come to Library Golden Oaks Or come back tommorow and you will learn? From the books, books, books, books, books, books, books, books Books of Golden Oaks! Author's Note As requested by Revenant Wings 86. My Name Is Lame(Note: Sung to the tune of James And The Giant Peach's "My Name Is James") Sung by Derpy Hooves Seriously though, what sort of name is 'Derpy Hooves' or 'Ditzy Do'? Derpy may have resigned herself to everypony calling her either name (to a point both her names appear on all of her official documents to save time) but it IS a rather poor choice of a name. Sometimes not even SHE remembers what it actually is. Maybe she can make 'Ms Mailmare' a thing... My name is lame Derpy Hooves, they call me My name is lame But its always been... Sometimes I forget What exactly is my name And I'll go inside my head For one less lame Either 'Ditzy' or 'Derpy Hooves' That's what they call me And it's even on my tax records! I don't kid you here... My name don't show up on the boards They don't know, you see But they don't listen when I try to tell them I don't kid you here... I say lame, lame, lame's my title There on my certificate Lame, lame, lame My name is officially a slur? Can't get any lazier... My name is lame, lame, lame Author's Note We're fast approaching one hundred chapters! And since I can't let such an occasion go unmarked, why don't you leave a comment saying what YOUR favourite parody/s are, and I'll commemorate them when the time comes? 87. There's Doom For Everyone(Note: Sung to the tune of Pete's Dragon's "There's Room For Everyone") Sung by Zecora This story is a story Zecora tells other young fillies and colts whenever she visits Ponyville on Nightmare Night. It's apparently based on a true story, but who knows whether it actually is... Below is the unedited version of her tale, with Applebloom's name filled in for the mane character. There's doom for everyone in that town In Sunny Town there is doom Creepy blank flanks in Sunny Town Sunny Town leads to doom It starts in the Everfree Forest, Don’t wander or rest With a filly, so silly Applebloom follows a mare, then gets lost Then it sort of gets worse, I fear It gets really creepy here There's doom for everyone in that town In Sunny Town there is doom A town where those with a mark don’t return Cutie Marks have no room! So there was a party, now ain’t that just arty! That seemed to be frozen in time… Applebloom found another mare Lamenting some crime And then she played ‘fetch quest’ without stopping to rest She looked and found Roneo’s ring Then she wandered some more, wondering what for They lacked cutie marks or anything! There's doom for everyone in this town In Sunny Town there is doom You have a cutie mark, you ain’t coming back Sunny Town leads to doom The edge of town, she finds a house, not even a mouse Lives in there, anywhere. She then peeks inside the fireplace, finds BONES in that place. She freaks right out, runs out to town, it’s gone all black and red and brown. Townsponies turned into undead freaks, But Mitta hold some at bay. The filly runs, but then loses her path But who turns up! I say! It is the mare Applebloom followed there Ruby’s ghost leads her out of the trees, Applebloom reunites with Twilight Sparkle, at last she’s free! And that’s my horror story. And now who wants candy? 89. Dull And Bland(Note: Sung to the tune of Tarzan's "Son Of Man") Sung by Twilight Sparkle, Applejack and Rainbow Dash With all of the Pinkie Pie clones running rampant all over town, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack and Rainbow Dash were at a loss as to how to separate the real Pinkie from her clones. Twilight had a spell that could banish the clones back to where they came from, but since the spell didn't just work on clones, they ran the risk of banishing the real one by mistake. It was then that the real Pinkie suggested a test that only the real one could pass. So the three began throwing ideas around for the most un-fun thing they could think of: whoever had the mind to be serious when it mattered was the real one. Oh, we have to think of dull And we have to think boring To sort the real Pinkie from the clones We could try manual labor; Sweepin’ streets is pretty lame… That wouldn’t work, they would ALL Make the job into a game! Dull and bland, what should we do? What’s the dullest thing we’ve got? It has to be serious too Dull and bland, to find Pinkie or not We could go to Applejack’s farm And make them count the grass What if they work together? They might finish that real fast! Dull and bland, what should we do? What’s the dullest thing we’ve got? It has to be serious too Dull and bland, to find Pinkie or not We could quiz them on somethin’ But they all share memories They’d all give the same answers to us three Oh, how about watching paint dry? I like it! That’s not bad! It involves just sitting REALLY still The fakes would all go mad! Dull and bland, we’ve got our test! That’s the dullest thing we’ve got! We’ll sort the real one from the rest Dull and bland, to find Pinkie or not Dull and bland Dull and bland, we’ll give this thing a shot Author's Note As requested by LE_MALEM 91. Bucking That Tree(Note: Sung to the tune of The Little Mermaid's "Under The Sea") Sung by Twilight Sparkle Tasked with harvesting apples from the entirety of Sweet Apple Acres until Big Macintosh's back recovered, Applejack went several days without sleep. It eventually got so bad that she didn't even realise what sort of trees she was trying to get apples from. Twilight had to step in and explain to Applejack that the tree that she was bucking was no more. It had ceased to be. It had expired and had gone to meet its maker. It was a husk bereft of life that had run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This was an ex-tree. You’re kicking a load of timber Fit only for firewood I know your brother’s back’s not limber For your sake and own good Go take a break or get help now You don’t even notice that The tree that you’re kicking is dead now Any second you could fall flat Bucking that tree Bucking that tree Clear in my eyes it’s Pointless exercises Take it from me You haven’t slept for several days Out in the sun you’ve slaved away I know you’re horsin’ Around exhaustin’ Bucking that tree That thing’s a husk lacking life there It’s past it, its glory days gone It’s not bearing any fruit, mare There’s no point kicking that one What will it take to make you believe? It’s as dead as dead can get The first clue is that it’s got no leaves You’re pointlessly working a sweat Oh no! Bucking that tree Bucking that tree That plant’s expired I’m not a liar It’s ceased to be It’s joined the choir invisible Spare you the feeling miserable Don’t spend durations Venting frustrations Bucking that tree Bucking that tree You’re losing sleep here You got to be here Naturally You’re just kicking a lifeless husk You can’t kick the trunk from dawn to dusk That’s just insane, just Spare yourself pain of Bucking that tree! It’s dead, go to bed! No more, that’s for sure! A stiff, don’t say “if” Just don’t kick anymore That stump is a dump It’s died, dunno why Don’t waste what’s left of your sense! Of life, it’s bereft That thing’s given out I’m sure it’s no more It’s passed on, no doubt Don’t add to the warps Of that wooden corpse! I speak with no offense Bucking that tree Bucking that tree Down in the bog there It’s popped its clogs there That I can see It’s shuffled off its mortal coil It’s stopped depending on the soil Its bucket’s kicked, so quit? I should think so Bucking that tree That trunk’s a bust there, stopping’s a must there Bucking that tree Pull up a bed and rest up your head, and Point that I’m making, you’re undertaking A pointless job now, just quit and stop now Bucking that tree! Applejack turned to look at the tree she was fruitlessly trying to harvest fruit from. "Ah knew that," was the reply. Author's Note Nine... 93. Pie-Diddle-Dee-Dee(Note: Sung to the tune of Pinocchio's "Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee") Sung by Pinkie Pie Rarity was wallowing in...whatever it was ponies are supposed to wallow in. Pity, perhaps? After a bad stunt at a fashion show, she felt her reputation had sunk. "We can't leave Rarity like this," Applejack remarked. "She'll become a crazy cat lady!" Pinkie cried. "She only has ONE cat," Twilight pointed out. "Give her time..." Pinkie warned. Pie-Diddle-Dee-Dee A crazy cat lady Whether its Manx or Persian or Tortoiseshell, she may start to hoard! Pie-Diddle-Dee-Day She'll steal your cats away! She'll steal some kittens, and then she'll be A crazy cat lady! Pie-Diddle-Dee-Dat She'll kidnap all your cats! A crazy cat lady! Pie-Diddle-Dee-Dee, A crazy cat lady! She'll shut herself from society With naught but her cats for company! Pie-Diddle-Dee-Doos, She'll become a recluse! You know deep inside she will be sad We all have to stop her going bad Before all the hairballs drive her mad! A crazy cat lady! Pie-Diddle-Dee-Dee. A crazy cat lady! She'll tell ponies to get off her turf, Or cats send them six feet under earth! Pie-Diddle-Dee-Dap Any second she'll snap, She'll go mad stealing cats to be, A crazy cat lady! Author's Note IMPORTANT! We're fast approaching the 100th Chapter! So in order to commemorate such an event PROPERLY, I need to know which song or songs were amongst your favourites to be placed in my little Hall of Fame in my 100th Chapter Spectacularmathon! Just leave a comment listing your best ones! Seven... 94. I Thought My Boss Knew(Note: Sung to the tune of Bolt's "I Thought I Lost You") Sung by Shining Armor's subordinates No wonder the Royal Guard lost to the changelings...when messages around the Royal Guard get passed around like a game of Quilinese Whispers, it tends to get lost in translation somewhere down the line... Nopony listens to sir Don’t hear a single thing we've said We take a leave of absence, We should report straight to the head Don’t know if he knows or not But soldiers say “Tell Captain Shining that I’ve a family reunion Coming up and I should vamoose, stat!” Somepony cover me til break And I told somepony who Didn’t tell anypony else… The promises we make! I thought my boss knew (when I was invited to some bubbly) I thought somepony else passed it on again Shining Armor thought I was gone And on and on the days went But a friend had invited me to drink And I hoped in my heart he had got my note, my friend And I got punished, but I thought my boss knew Lack of communication Has been a problem in our ranks But we’re all neck deep in drills And we got patrols up to our flanks So we tell Captain second hoof If we must make good on those promises we made I thought my boss knew (when I injured myself playing rugby) I thought somepony else passed it on again Shining Armor thought I was gone And on and on the days went But my spearing leg was totally busted And I got a note saying that I was on the mend And I got punished, but I thought my boss knew I once ran late to practice cos I went to see a movie with my cuz And I once missed a practice drill, I had to fix my windowsill Now here we are, are Here we are I thought my boss knew I thought my boss knew , too I thought my boss knew I thought my boss knew Yeah I thought my boss knew (when I had a date with my sweet hubby) I thought somepony else passed it on again Shining Armor thought I was gone And on and on the days went But my wife don’t take no for an answer And I had several other engagements to attend And I got punished, but I thought my boss knew But I thought my boss knew I thought my boss knew, too I thought it got through, got through I thought it got through, yeah yeah I thought my boss knew I thought my boss knew, too Author's Note IMPORTANT! We're fast approaching the 100th Chapter! So in order to commemorate such an event PROPERLY, I need to know which song or songs were amongst your favourites to be placed in my little Hall of Fame in my 100th Chapter Spectacularmathon! Just leave a comment listing your best ones! Six... 97. Are You Skipping Town(Note: Sung to the tune of Aladdin And The King Of Thieves's "Are You In Or Out") Sung by the crowd at Sweet Apple Acres and Twilight Sparkle It was over. The Flim Flam Brothers had won the contest with the Apple family, and the farm was theirs. They now had the monopoly over cider. Rather fortunately, although the contest was to see who could make the most batches of cider in time, the Flim Flam Brothers neglected quality control at the last minute to speed things up, and found nopony would even buy their cider. And so, the brothers were unceremoniously chased off the farm by the townponies, who were always quick to change their minds…a fact Twilight Sparkle did not miss. We remember a time Of cider sublime, There was plenty of drink in the air. You think we’re so stupid, We’d drink all your putrid Cider and not seem to care? I mean sure, yeah, we’re fickle On the slightest tickle, We bet on who’s the winning horse, So take your device, And get lost, be nice, We back Sweet Apple Acres, of course! Are you skipping town? We don’t like what just went down! If we want a drink we should rather think Support local business so they don’t sink! Are you gon’ get lost? Your stuff just ain’t worth the cost! We don’t like your kind here, your cider’s too brown! GTBO, please. Are you skipping town? Are you lot all joking? I’m this close to choking; You nearly sold out my best friend! Applejack’s family Could have lost it all, see; Her livelihood could have come to an end! But the fact is, it didn’t. Oh sure we were smitten, But now we know better, so there! …Your indifference scares me, Can’t expect you mares t’ be Sensible or seem to care… Are you skipping town? Your cider makes us all frown! You brothers just stink, we won’t buy your drink You’ll be gone before you can even blink Are you all insane!? We have worked down to the pain! You were totally cool Losing Applejack’s rule Makes no sense to me! Are you skipping town? We don’t want your kind anymore here, We shoulda known classic is best Silver lining is that the score here You both made enough cider in the test Drink up, everypony! Down the rest! Are you skipping down? Get lost, you untruthful young clowns (Yay!) And don’t come back here, Selling tonic, or we’re Not gonna forget you failed to endear! Somehow I doubt that… Your memories’ like a holey hat! You can lose it all, or get the heck out now What's it gonna be? Consider carefully. Are you skipping town? Author's Note As requested by ShadowLDrago. Stupid mob mentality... Three... 98. Ready All Your Betting Sums(Note: Sung to the tune of Pocahontas's "Steady As The Beating Drum") Sung by Spike It's the Running of the Leaves competition! Of course, the highlight of the event is Rainbow Dash vs. Applejack, who are competing to see who's the better athlete. How many bits are YOU willing to gamble on in favour of one or the other? Also, try not to listen to that one brown Earth Pony with an hourglass cutie mark who claims to know how it ends. "Spoilers!" Roll up, roll up, come and place your bets Step right up and place your bets Roll up, roll up, come and place your bets Step right up and place your bets Ready all your betting sums Applejack or Rainbow Dash? Don't miss out on all the fun; Two great rivals soon to clash! Twenty bits on Flying Ace Thirty more on Country Gal... Who's the fave to win the race? It's all down to two great pals! Things just went out of control Rivalry gone way too far Upside's that I'm on a roll Raking bits in by the jar Runners coming, here they come Ready all your betting sums Mood's electric, roll the drums, (Roll up, roll up, come and place your bets) Ready all your betting sums Roll up, roll up, come and place your bets Step right up and place your bets Author's Note As requested by keam. Two... 99. Appalled By This Together(Note: Sung to the tune of High School Musical's "We're All In This Together") Sung by Daisy, Rose, and Lilly Valley They overreact to EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. Over one measly stranger, or pest problem, or potentially fatal disease epidemic. I mean, who panics about THAT nowadays? The horror, the horror, the horror! Everyone The horror, the horror! Let’s panic cos we’re done! Together, we’re there for wrong reasons every time Together, together, it’s horrible, that’s right! Everypony, get to panic stations We finally figured it out (yeah yeah) We realize the ramifications That's what it’s all about (yeah yeah) Everypony remember Zecora Sure, it was a false alarm (it was a false alarm) But all the same She could have been here for ya What if she was out there to harm? Appalled by this together Oh, we know That we should Panic good And we see that Appalled by this together Our advice? Run away! Or you’ll pay! Or you’ll get what’s yours! The horror, the horror, the horror! Everyone The horror, the horror! Let’s panic cos we’re done! Together, we’re there for wrong reasons every time Together, together, it’s horrible, that’s right! Do you all Remember all the rabbits? They stampeded straight through town (YEAH YEAH!) Losing our heads became a habit Come on! Scream and shout We fall apart cos we're stuck together In a mess, one and all Appalled by this together Oh, we know That we should Panic good And we see that Appalled by this together Our advice? Run away! Or you’ll pay! Or you’ll get what’s yours! Appalled by this together It’s been mad Ever since Our new princ- ess came to town Appalled by this together What to do? Lose your cool, Like a fool And we fall down Oh sure, you may say Why is Panic Stations still Plan A? Well then, to stop fear, You got a better idea? That’s why we all say: Hope the problem goes away Barricade the front door But wait! There’s more; Lock the window too! Appalled by this together Oh, we know That we should Panic good And we see that Appalled by this together Our advice? Run away! Or you’ll pay! Or you’ll get what’s yours! Appalled by this together It’s been mad Ever since Our new princ- ess came to town Appalled by this together What to do? Lose your cool, Like a fool And we fall down That’s why we all say: Hope the problem goes away Barricade the front door Don’t go out anymore Lock the window too! Author's Note One... The 100th Chapter Spectacularmathon! With ApplejackHello, and welcome to the My Little Disney: Music is Magic 100th Chapter Spectacularmathon. I'm here to count down the ten most well-loved chapters of this insane little project as judged by my readers, with some input of my own. I'm also delighted to announce that joining me in my attic by my computer side is Applejack. Hello there. The farmpony looked nervous. "Hi." She then looked around the attic. "It's...rather cramped here." Yeah, sorry, it is rather cramped, isn't it? But I appreciate you coming along, nonetheless. I'll even let you have my swivel chair. "Ya didn't INVITE me," Applejack sighed. "Ya used that strange monkey thang to whisk me to your attic." Ah yes, I should explain to our readers is that Applejack joins us from Ponyville today with the aid of a dimension hopping monkey I bought at Safeway, and she has generously agreed to host the event with me...as long as I return her home as soon as I'm done. And jut to preserve future canon, she'll have absolutely no memory of ever being here. "What Ah don't get is why it's lil' ol' me ya picked to co-host this thang," Applejack said. Because you're best pony. "Am Ah?" Applejack blushed. Yes. NOW THEN. I think we should get started on this countdown, don't you? But before I could get started, Applejack raised her hoof. "Uh...what exactly am Ah supposed to do, again?" Just ask me questions as I comment, and maybe insert a few observations of your own. Conversation 101. "Oh. Okay." It's time to count down the top ten Pony Parodies! "YEE-HAW!" Now you're getting into it! 10. Chapter 19: We've Got No Things I found this one surprising. When I first uploaded it, it barely got any comments until recently. But who am I to argue? "It's about Rarity after gettin' marenapped by nose low-down Diamond Dogs, right?" Applejack said. "Ah wasn't there for it, Mah friends and Ah only got to take her away. They were beggin' us to get Rarity away from 'em...was it that bad?" If you like, I could show you what it looked AND sounded like on a DVD I have at home! "DVD?" Never mind. "...Also, no thanks." Figures. But regardless, I enjoyed writing this one. Partially because I have more of a fondness for the older songs (although I'll do almost any movie), but also because I just found Rarity so fascinating in that episode. It was the episode that revealed that she knew about her inner-spoiled brat, and also knew how to weapon-ize it. Also, I have to ask. Applejack: Pinkie on Motor Mouth Mode, or Rarity whining? "Whining. At least THAT sounds like it would eventually stop." 9. Cabbages Any scenario that appeared in a canon episode are my preferred scenarios to write about. When I'm forced to resort to non-canon situations, I sometimes feel like the punny titles are a bit forced. "Well, this one made it on the list, so it's gotta be better than ya think it is," Applejack pointed out. She then craned over my neck, and read the lyrics. "Wait a second...what the heck is this!?" Oh boy, this is awkward...well, this was the closest rhyme I've got to 'Savages', you were the only pony I knew who had anything to do with growing stuff as far as canon goes, and I had a request to fulfil, okay? "Yeah, but...really? How do ya even know Braeburn and them buffalos would even...?" Now you know the evils of a dry imagination. At least it was overblown, like I want a lot of my song's situations to be. "Ah'm glad that Ah won't remember any of this when Ah get back," Applejack grumbled. She brought her Stetson hat over her eyes, and sighed. "Yer readers have weird tastes." ...Should I mention that I only picked this one because of the amount of comments it got, not because it was a favourite of mine...? 8. Chapter 5: Prince Blueblood Ah, an old work of mine... "Old? It's only 2 months old!" protested Applejack. Let's not get wrapped up in technicalities here. It's only the 5th Chapter, and as author, I declare it old. "...Okay...?" Applejack shook her head. "So why's it here? This song?" Well, readers didn't comment on this until recently, like the Chapter 18, so I can only assume it was by the power of re-read. That and I hadn't had a dedicated reader-base yet. But I know that both they and I liked it; I wanted to see how much of a jerk I could make Prince Blueblood. Another fanfic (which even has its own TV Tropes page, incidentally) prompted the idea. It seemed obvious. "Is that okay?" Applejack asked. "Rarity didn't talk that highly of him, but maybe he was only rude? Ah mean, who's to say...?" Don't you remember that canonically, he insulted your food in front of both you AND Rarity at the Grand Galloping Gala? "So he did. The low-down snake!" she growled. 7. Chapter 60: Bothering The Teacher Again, my preference towards classics lead me to do this parody. I haven't been able to mess around with Peter Pan songs as often as I would like, partially because I can't think of good titles, but also because I felt that some weren't long enough to justify a chapter. "Ah'm readin' this, and Ah feel mighty sorry for Miss Cheerilee," Applejack was looking at the laptop on my desk, reading through the song. "Even Applebloom was just a mischief maker rather than a nuisance on purpose." Well, at least it's not yet canon. Take comfort in that. "...Yet?" Applejack looked nervous. A problem student sounds like an excellent plot for an episode to me! Don't you think? "...Don't ya dare jinx it." Well, now I've said it, it probably won't happen. Pity. 6. Chapter 91: Bucking That Tree "Ah, right," Applejack said, squirming uncomfortably. "That wasn't one of mah better moments, Ah'll admit..." Well, I got a song out of it. Your loss is my gain. The remark earned me a swift buck to my side. "Yer a jerk." Well (excuse me as I rub my bruise here), to be honest, I came up with the idea before the title, unusually for my chapters. It was a trivial scenario I thought of round about the time I hit the 49th Chapter. I couldn't think of a good song for it until the request for Under The Sea came in. "And you leapt on it because tree rhymes with sea," Applejack said flatly. Yup. And it gave me the opportunity to exercise my references, because, well, who doesn't love Monty Python? "Ah don't, Ah've never heard of him," Applejack raised her hoof. And apparently neither did the folks commenting, they all kept imagining Twilight with a Jamaican accent...Well, at least it was somewhat well received for those who do know, right? Lesson here is to only work to the standard that won't get you completely screwed over. "But...that's not how yer meant to work at all!" Applejack hotly protested. "Yer meant to work as hard as ya can not just for yerself, but for others!" ...I'm pretty sure I'll have that misconception dispelled as soon as I find paid work. At least Applejack appreciates what she does because she's her own boss. 5. Chapter 11: Drama You Can Bring My only regret was that by the time I came up with this one, somepony else requested a Pocahontas song, so I had to delay their request for a bit until I felt there was enough distance between it and my idea. "...A song about Rarity's faintin' couch?" Applejack looked at the computer screen. "What?" It sounded funny in my head and I had to put it down on the fic before it disappeared from memory. I was at the train station (again) and I literally thought of the word 'faint', and... "Do ya always think of funny words when out in public?" Appejack brought a hoof to her face. "Ya sound like Pinkie." Well, there is a fine line between genius and absolutely crazy. Maybe Pinkie and I are in fact secretly geniuses? Applejack took one look at me, paused, and finally, she said, "Mmm...nah." HEY! 4. Chapter 56: Kick The Girl "What exactly was THAT all about?" Applejack raised an eyebrow. Oh yeah, you didn't appear in that episode, so you don't know. Well, there was an assertiveness seminar being held in the middle of town by a minotaur called Iron Will. Fluttershy attended, took his lessons to heart, and started to act like a colossal jerk to everypony. Including Pinkie Pie and Rarity. "Fluttershy? Really? She's the sweetest gal ya ever saw!" Applejack protested. Oh, it's true. She tossed a pony over her head because she was in the way. Heck, remember the time she caught RAINBOW DASH while towing a hot air balloon carrying four other ponies and a baby dragon? Seriously, take away her timid side and Fluttershy is like even stronger than anypony in all of existence. "...Even Twilight?" Applejack raised an eyebrow. ESPECIALLY TWILIGHT. There was a tense pause, before Applejack finally cleared her throat. "So this one's here because people liked the plot of the song?" Apparently. It also helped that Iron Will's lessons were in rhyme, which made it easy to write. Another request fulfilled easy! "Lazy bum," Applejack remarked. 3. Chapter 35: The Wonderful Thing About Fingers I didn't even have to resort to a rhyming dictionary online for this one. I instantly thought "fingers" and that was the end of it as far as I was concerned. It seems to be popular because it seems to fit perfectly with Lyra's character, and it's also easy how to imagine she would sing the song, if the comments on it are anything to go by. "That explains how ya barely changed a lot of the lines to it," Applejack remarked. "And this seems a little...loose. Ah thought ya preferred canon events to write about?" I do, but fanon interpretations are fine. Partially because their fan perceptions are almost certainly never going to be expanded on, but the writers for both the comics and the animated series seem to acknowledge them in-universe with some sort of in-joke. "Personally, Ah'm just waitin' for the time it turns out she has no clue what humans are." On the day that happens, many bronies will lose their reason to live. And they'd have to revise all their Lyra fics, which would be a pain. 2. Chapter 48: Hurling My Wife I wanted to do this parody for some time, but I really put off doing it since I already had a lot of requests from commenters to deal with and I couldn't find the time. "Not going to mention how ya didn't even think of starting on rhyming words for 'life' rather than 'circle', Brody boy?" Applejack smirked. ...Shut up. But unfortunately, it's true. I didn't even think of doing that until I was at my local train station (funny how a lot of my ideas come at the train station), trying to think of which request to respond to as I was heading to town. (At this point, the request for a Circle Of Life parody had come and I was sort of obliged to start on one.) I thought of the word "wife", and immediately had the title as soon as it happened. After that, I confirmed that 'hurling' could be used in the context I was looking for, and I typed up the title as soon as I got home. "And it's ranked this high because...it's a Circle of Life parody?" Applejack asked. "That's it?" Well that, and it's so...trivial! I love writing about something that happened once, and is pretty much never mentioned again as I said earlier, or a throwaway line worthy of a meme. "Meme?" ...If only Equestria had the internet. Actually wait, no, that would be bad. "It would be, there's people like you on there," Applejack said dryly. Shut up. 1. Chapter 17: Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts On Explosions I had a feeling that this would definitely make it here, on this spot. This song was my most well-received one whenever a new reader realised this fic actually existed and gives it a read. I got the idea for this literally when I was working at the local charity shop. (Yeah, it's pretty lax on the whole 'keep thyself busy policy'.) I just thought of the word 'explosion' and I immediately thought of the only ponies I know in canon who could feasibly be associated with enormous booms. I couldn't stop grinning at the conceived name, and when I got back home, I immediately started writing it up; the only time I have ever worked on lyrics as soon as I think of a title. Applejack shuddered. "Heavens ta Betsy, those three. Ah swear Ah should have done keeled over in shock over all the property damage those three caused." It IS rather shocking, isn't it? But it made for great TV, and a song, so it's all good. "Ya wouldn't say that if ya had to pay for all of it," Applejack grumbled. And as long as I keep my dimension hopping monkey under control, I shall never have to. - We've made it to the end! But of course, it's not over. There's still tons of songs, heck, even MOVIES, from Disney I haven't even started on... "Oh horseapples..." sighed Applejack. Hey, just be grateful that you won't remember how any of this relates to me. Now then...I should thank all my readers, who stuck around with my insane little project, dropping likes and suggestions for songs; without you, I wouldn't have been able to even DO one hundred chapters! And of course, Applejack, for not attempting to murder me when my dimension hopping monkey whisked her away from Sweet Apple Acres, and hosting this chapter with me. "Not too late for that though..." Applejack threatened, scraping one of her back legs behind. Urk...okay, hold onto the monkey. I'll wrap this up myself. "Thank Celestia..." Applejack sighed. "If Ah wind up anywhere that ain't home, Ah'll kick yer scrawny backside...!" I don't doubt it. It looks like she's gone...Now then...dust off the microphone...hey, it's the 100th chapter. Even THAT has to have a song, you know. ...Try to imagine my voice being better than it actually is. Thank Celestia for text. With thanks to all my readers, here goes. When You Faved Me (Note: Sung to the tune of Toy Story 2's "When She Loved Me") Sung by Brony_of_Brody When I wrote this story Technically an exercise Every hour I spent just writing Lives within my heart I wanted a comment Motivate me to write more And when they were happy so was I When you faved me Through the hundred chapters wrote Some were good, some got down-votes, At least the reception was good Like it was meant to be And I got subscribers Someone there to read my junk And I knew that you faved me So the days went by I stayed the same I wrote about what came my way No matter how droll Still I waited for the day When I get at least a thousand views Lonely and forgotten Yes, but until that day arrives I'll write songs about insanity Just like I always do Since you faved me When you faved me When I wrote this story It was just a project piece Every time regulars came back Lives within my heart When you faved me Author's Note Off the top of my head, thanks to keam, Awesomo3000, Revenant Wings, The Princess Rarity, BrownDog77, sieurin, ShadowLDrago, SeanChow806Napoleonic, Ugly-Duckling123, HB_DS2013, Dirty Bit, SoldierForce, Le_DragonBroneE, dragonspinner33, Spirit Guide, iamthesoulfinder, and Blue Sparkle 227 for regular input and suggestions for my strange little fanfic. For you guys, I'll soldier on and write! Stay tuned as we return to your regularly scheduled parodies next chapter! 103. And Twice They Did Explode(Note: Sung to the tune of A Goofy Movie's "Upon The Open Road") Sung by Spike Of course harnessing love to power mundane household objects could only end badly. Top leading Canterlot scientists had found to their cost that the magic of love was so powerful, that it could potentially cause even a basic teleporting spell to take them to an alternate dimension, or a kettle to possess enough energy to level an entire castle in one explosion. Eventually it got to a point where it just went out of control and ponies were actively expressing love to power everything, resulting in a lot of property damage and singed manes for all involved. To curb this, residents of Equestria are being advised to at least give nearby ponies the cold shoulder every once in a while. Oh, and Rainbow Dash was put in a dungeon for fear of what the effects would have on her. Do ya need to learn about what happened? Did ya hear how they used love by loads? Listen up to this cautionary tale You could spare yourself all the anguished wails And learn how ‘bout twice, they did explode! C'mon, listen! Uh-huh! It starts when Cadence and Shining Armor Used love to blow Chryssy to the road And a scientist got this bright idea He breaks out his kit and his science gear Not knowing that twice he will explode! He claims that love is so strong Why not use it some way To power conveniences of life? He never thinks it’s so wrong, Oh, he will rue the day Magic out of context just brings strife So ponies start adding love to everything Like construction work and lifting load And it isn’t long before it goes Horribly wrong, keep on your toes In some cases, twice they did explode One pony tried to move a cupcake, But love turned it into a huge toad! It towered five hundred feet high, It could breathe fire and even fly Right before twice it did explode! One Pegasus can make a big tornado (Yeah!) It caused a destructive episode (Very odd!) But hey, at least it blew away The cupcake toad right out the fray In the sky, yes, twice it did explode! Some of you want some context, How CAN you blow up twice? Well, first you explode in the normal way… (Magic!) You absorb magic, and next Your body pops, not nice; The cells inside your body boom wa-hay! And so the lesson that is to be learnt here Magic A ain’t Magic B, that’s the code! Don’t use a big destructive force For working mundane tasks, of course It ended badly, see For everypony And that includes that geek Twice he did explode! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. 104. Perfect Dragon(Note: Sung to the tune of The Emperor's New Groove's "Perfect World") Sung by you...um...if that's alright with you... Crackle is best dragon. That is all that needs to be said, I think. I mean, look at her vacant expression and her inability to form coherent sentences, and her strange body shape. She's not perfect, and that's okay! There are dragons and alicorns OC ponies who are met with scorn There are one-scene wonders that stay in the mind… There are heroes and there’s villains And background ponies, they’re just chillin’ Bronies give them names and natures so refined But there’s someone who just rules No one has ever been this cool In about four years of this craze of pony! She appeared in just one episode - But these guys all seem to lover her loads The quintessence of derpiness that is she She's the sovereign queen of the blank look She's the best dragon in all the books She's the reason any dragon costume works! See, if the disguise is terrible Look at her and you’re less vulnerable Being imperfect definitely has its perks! What's her name? Crackle That's her name Crackle She's the world’s best dragon Crackle Is she hip or what? Crackle Yeah! She's the great reptilian dark-horse Despite not being mammalian, of course She's the alpha, the omega, A to Z And as long as the fandom lives All attention they will give To the one-scene wonders, our thanks to you from me! What's her name? Crackle That's her name Crackle Is she hip or what? Crackle Don't you know she's the world’s best dragon? Crackle Oh yeah! Ow! 105. Whistle While You Lurk(Note: Sung to the tune of Snow White And The Seven Dwarves's "Whistle While You Work") Sung by Scootaloo Hiding in Applebloom’s closet…admittedly, without context, it does sound rather unusual…but Scootaloo having to lie in a huge pile of Applebloom’s ribbons in her own house was part of a plan to pretend to be Applebloom so that the real Applebloom could make a delivery to prove she could be independent. Actually, that STILL doesn’t make too much sense. Thing is, having to spend hours and hours in a small furniture piece is rather dull. So, how to pass the time? Just whistle while I lurk (Doodoodoo-doo-doo-doo-doo) I’m hiding out in AB’s house pretending I’m not here So hum a merry tune (Hmhmhm-hm-hm-hm-hm) The lack of thrill gives time to kill as boredom draws on near I’ve counted all her bows, ‘Bout three-six-five or so Didn’t know Applebloom had here One for every day of the year So whistle while I lurk (Doodoodoo-doo-doo-doo-doo) Or else I’ll bust collecting dust so whistle while I lurk Just whistle while I lurk (Doodoodoo-doo-doo-doo-doo) I can just tell that Sweetie Belle is less bored than I am So hum a merry tune (Hmhmhm-hm-hm-hm-hm) She gets the bed to rest her head and I get body cramp And there's not much to do I also need the loo… But I can’t leave the closet or The game is up just like before! So whistle while I lurk (Doodoodoo-doo-doo-doo-doo) ‘Til Applebloom comes back too soon I’ll whistle while I lurk 106. Secret Writing Libel(Note: Sung to the tune of Mr Toad's Wild Ride's "Secret of Survival") Sung by Diamond Tiara and Applebloom When Diamond Tiara became editor for the school newspaper, the Foal Free Press...in hindsight, perhaps it was a bad time for the Cutie Mark Crusaders to try their hoof at a journalism cutie mark. Diamond Tiara wanted nothing to do with the namby-pamby stories (despite protests Namby-Pamby was a pretty good editor) and so the CMC became the anonymous Gabby Gums and found a rather compromising scoop featuring Snips and Snails. The paper for the day sold like hotcakes. Putting it nicely, Diamond asked: Would they do it again? Gabby Gums is hot as fire! Get more scoops or face my ire! You’re a secret writing libel in a journalistic world Make up stories on the fly! I don’t care if you must lie! You’re a secret writing libel in a journalistic world You’re a secret writing libel in a journalistic world Ah’m havin’ second thoughts, as well… Don’t care, I’ve got papers to sell; More papers than you could ever dream of! If you’re not caught, then you’re okay Go ahead, make my day! Write about DJ-Pon3’s fillyhood accordion! Or ‘bout Lyra’s strange desire to walk upright and just run! Every creature writing libel has to tread real carefully… Public scorn is rife; guard with your life your true identity! Out my office! Quick, be off! Is It too much to ask that you blank-flanks not be here? Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! Gabby Gums is hot as fire! Get more scoops or face my ire! You’re a secret writing libel in a journalistic world Make up stories on the fly! I don’t care if you must lie! You’re a secret writing libel You’re a secret writing libel You’re a secret writing libel in a journalistic world 109. Yes, My Plot Is...(Note: Sung to the tune of The Emperor's New School's "Yzmopolis") Sung by Rarity and Discord Flank. Butt. Plot. Whatever you call it, there's a pony who has an opinion on it. And nopony is more concerned about looks in Ponyville than Rarity. Rarity recently became concerned she may have put on weight, and has become rather conscious about the size of her flanks. Discord thought it was hilarious. First there was the ice-cream, Then the cookie dough, Comfort food has made my Flank size grow and grow... Yes, my plot is growing atop all this! My flank’s getting bit too wide Yes, my plot is growing atop all this! I don’t like big butts and I cannot lie My behind grew in size though if you ask my friends, I’m sure that they’d be polite, But I know it’s the end! "You know, it has gone to my thighs, so what in Equestria will it do to the rest of me...?" Yes, my plot is growing atop all this! The region that grew large Yes, my plot is growing atop all this! ‘Bout the size of a barge, B-U-T-T! What does that spell? It’s butt! Yes, my plot is growing atop all this! I’ll get all sorts of looks… It's glorious Victorious I always laugh uproarious 'Cause Rarity’s euphorious I ought to hit the books… They’ll say “Girl got flank”, They see that my booty’s like a tank, All that food went to my thighs, But I guess in hindsight Least it didn’t make me fat, THAT would be the end of that Exercise, it doesn’t help It rounds the butt that I was dealt Discord finds it funny that my backside’s so big… Yes, that plot is quite on top of this! I think it looks fine from here; But that won’t stop me teasing her Come on, is that so wrong here? "Oh, what if I end up losing my youthful metabolism!? I mean, it’s all well and good, I think I managed to avoid the worst, I’ve only come away with a flank I think is MUCH too big, but one day, very soon..." Yes, that plot is a bumper crop, it is! I knew it! It’s too big! Yes, my plot is much too wide for this! What do you think? Stop taking digs! I think next time I’m in a slump, I’ll anguish myself thin. The angsty diet, I have tried it I’m good at that, it’s win-win! (Ha ha ha ha ha!) First there was the ice-cream, Then the cookie dough, Comfort food has made my Flank size grow and grow... What my plot is! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. I regret nothing. 110. Totally Hurled (Guest Submission by Le_DragonBroneE)110. Totally Hurled (Guest Submission by Le_DragonBroneE) (Note: Sung to the tune of Pair of Kings's "Top of the World") Sung by Chrysalis She was so close, Chrysalis. She almost took over Canterlot and had defeated Celestia. But then her student, Twilight Sparkle, came and ruined Chrysalis's supposed-to-be-perfect day. Even though she had gotten rid of Celestia (she was surprised that Luna hadn't shown up anywhere to get revenge, or something), and was about to take the throne, Shining Armor and Cadence literally use the power of their love to each other to blast away all changelings, including Chrysalis herself, out of Canterlot to Faust-knows-where. Don’t bring it on Totally hurled We’re getting totally hurled We’re getting totally hurled We're getting to-to-totally hurled We got defeated so ponies come put their hoofs up Totally hurled We're getting totally hurled Me & my hive, yea, we got pwned all over Totally hurled We're getting to-to-totally hurled I hate Cadence, yo Shining Armor, Al-so Yea, We're so sick of ‘em, yea Say, we're so sick of em, yea We hate the princess’s rule, Easy to believe and it's true Yeah, were so sick of it Say, we're so sick of it, Almost had the throne, now the bride is mad, yeah Getting totally hurled We are so doomed, now, can’t turn our backs now, yeah Getting totally hurled No no no no (hey) No no no no no Totally hurled We're getting totally hurled We're getting totally hurled We're getting to-to-totally hurled Their love is awesome Yeah, it was completely crazy Totally hurled We’re getting totally hurled Oh-oh I actually thought That the hive and I were meant for greatness Totally hurled We're getting to-to-totally hurled We need some love, you know Just so we could survive We're so sick of it Say, we're so sick of it, yea Oh, Why were they so cruel? Hard to believe but it's true Yeah, were so sick of ‘em Say, we're so sick of ‘em, Almost had the throne, now the bride is mad, yeah Getting totally hurled We are so doomed, now, can’t turn our backs now, yeah Getting totally hurled No no no no (hey) No no Yeah, we're so sick of ‘em... Said we're so sick of ‘em Don’t bring it down We're getting totally hurled We're getting totally hurled We're getting totally hurled We're getting totally hurled We're getting totally hurled We’ re getting totally hurled We're getting to-to-totally hurled Almost took the throne, now the bride is mad, yeah Getting totally hurled We are so doomed, now, can’t turn our backs now, yeah Getting totally hurled No no no no (hey) No no no We’ re getting totally hurled We’ re getting totally hurled Yeah We're getting totally hurled 111. The Gala Of Canterlot Castle(Note: Sung to the tune of Davy Crocket's "The Ballad of Davy Crocket") Sung by Princess Celestia The Grand Galloping Gala is one of the most important social events in all of Canterlot. But to be quite honest, a formal dance is rather dull for a pony who enjoys a spot of fun like Princess Celestia. And so, she sought to invite the six most important ponies that everypony should know along, hoping that in light of their recent exploits, they could inject some spark into the otherwise boring occasion. Or they could just turn the entire thing into such a fiasco that it would be abandoned. Princess Celestia wasn't particularly fussy. It all started right here in Canterlot, The Grand Galloping Gala was the lot But the G.G.G’s boring, just not hot But as Princess, I had to be at the spot Canter, Canterlot Castle, host of the G.G.G! So I sent out invites to Twilight, see One for herself and a V.I.P But she sent them back saying “Not just me, I’d like ALL my friends to be at the party” And I, and I knew then, this might work out for me! So of course I said it was fine for them, For seven guests to turn up by ten (Yes, I included Spike), but when The night drew up, it was time again Canter, Canterlot Castle, host of the G.G.G! The girls wanted to make this their night, Pinkie Pie wanted to party right Rarity sought a prince dressed in white, Fluttershy to see the animal sights At the, at the Gala, this was their only chance! Applejack, sell pies for her family, Rainbow Dash with Wonderbolt V.I.Ps And Twilight just wanted to talk with me, So they all had dreams for the big party At the, at the Gala, among the talk and dance! The night starts well for all those involved, Then a mystery that will go unsolved: How did all order just de-evolve? A noisy outcome goes unresolved Canter, Canterlot Castle, host of the G.G.G! I’m much too busy for a friendly chat, Fluttershy can’t be friends with even a cat And Rarity meets with a stuck-up brat, Pinkie’s rowdy self, the guests don’t like that Badly, badly going wrong for the six best friends! Applejack made two sales in an hour, Rainbow Dash is also feeling sour The Wonderbolts know her, but fame towers, Alone with Rainbow, they can’t spare an hour Badly, badly going, is this how it all ends? But the six have been waiting all their life, an' they don’t want to let this chance slip by If it’s the last thing they do, they will try To make this the best night ever. Why? Canter, Canterlot Castle, host of the G.G.G! Despite it all, it only gets worse, A stroke of bad luck descends like a curse Pinkie thinks her disapproval’s to soon reverse, And so she sings to another rowdy verse Pinkie, Pinkamena, the mare who don't know tact! And Fluttershy is slowly going insane, Creases in her brow, a disheveled mane; She’s rigging a trap in the garden again, But even when crazy, they’re still too tame Flutter, Fluttershy is starting to lose her mind! Still nopony cuts Applejack some slack, The stuff she made are still on the racks So she aims to please, so to spurn the flack, Dress ‘em up a bit and then come back Fancy, fancy foodstuff, outclassing her entrees! And as AJ wheeled in the cart with wares, Intent that everypony should share Pinkie dived into the cart without a care, Sending a cake flying through the air Apple, Apple Flake cake, ace of the farmpony! And Blueblood, lest his appearance break, The very last straw Rarity could take He threw the poor mare, thinking of his own sake, Into the path of the speeding cake Apple, Apple Flake cake, received straight to the knee! And as Rarity chewed out Blueblood fierce Her death glare surely could solid rock pierce His eyes weren’t peeled and nor were his ears, He topples a statue of aging years Blueblood, Blueblood Princy, keeping the chain at three! Rainbow Dash saw this as a favour call, She could save the statue and stop its fall And despite the efforts of ponies all, The statue and columns smashed to pieces small Twilight, Twilight Sparkle, said “It can’t get worse to me!” Then right on cue, Fluttershy’s own wreck, She looked just ‘bout ready to wring some necks And so, with everypony’s due respect, I advised Twilight to run like heck Running, running away, Twilight running the race! They got the message and made to flee, A slipper was dropped by Rarity Her prince would find her, exclaims Pinkie, So she stomps the slipper. Good move to me… Slipper, Glass-hoof slipper, crushed into smithereens! So there was Spike drowning sorrows grim, They were all alone, Pony Joe and him Twilight’s friends escaped by their teeth’s skin, To the donut shop at Canterlot’s rim Pony, Pony Joe’s shop, your donut one-stop place! I joined them later, they thought it blew, But they all just did what I hoped they’d do; Go to the Gala and turn the screw, Liven it up, or wreck it true Canter, Canterlot Castle, host of the G.G.G! Author's Note As requested by Sparkfire. 112. Give Me The Pimple Knife(Note: Sung to the tune of Meet the Robinsons's "Give Me The Simple Life") Sung by Nurse Redheart Nurse Redheart is, if nothing else, a true professional in the line of medicine. One time, a patient wit quite possibly the largest spot that she had ever seen came into the Ponyville hospital, and everypony knew it had to be operated on. There was no other alternative. Great, if it wasn't for Nurse Redheart listing all the metal, possibly very sharp, objects she'd need. Right within the patient's earshot. This did nothing to ease his INCREDIBLE nervousness pre-operation. This patient’s urgent! We need the surgeons, This zit’s so big, it’s rife! Bigger than we thought here, what’s he brought here? Give me the pimple knife No anesthetic? That’s just pathetic! That could threaten his life! Just give me the crowbar, stop 'fore it spreads far, Give me the pimple knife A sharpened saw is all I'm after And something to stop blood flow The pain may send him through the rafters Then we let the patient go Don't turn too sour, it's just an hour Of extreme pain and strife This will sting slightly putting it mildly; Give me the pimple knife 114. Breaking Things(Note: Sung to the tune of High School Musical's "Breaking Free") Sung by Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle The Cutie Mark Crusaders are, well, extremely eager in their quest to discover themselves. So eager, in fact, they quite often don't pay attention to the vast amounts of property damage that these three fillies leave in their wake. Unfortunately, it's very hard to make any sort of punishment stick for very long when even punishments are but opportunities for these three. We're bendin', smashin' There's not a house in Ponyville We ain't bust For lack of trying So we're breaking things You know the town can see us In a way we look like accident masters Creating space between us We’re walking disasters But we’ll find our cutie marks That’s why we sing We're breakin' things!! We're squashin', snappin' There's not an inch of property We ain't bust For lack of trying So we're breaking things We're breakin' things Uhh-uhh-uuuhhh Public spots and building Vandalised with no restraints or keys Cos Ponyville doesn’t have A good local police (The police, oh-oohh) We were left to run riot So let the bells all ring We're breakin' things!! We're tearin' crushin' There's not an inch of town That we haven't been For lack of trying So we're breaking things We're breakin' things Uhh-uhh-uuuhhh Yeah-Yeah Ohh-ohh Now's the time Now's the time So we're breaking things Ooohhh, we're breaking things Uuuhhh, yeah Quest to get Cutie marks Let’s try the Local park And they’ll never see it comin' More than you More than me Not a want, but a need Both of us breakin' things Slittin' Warpin' There's not a spot in Ponyville We ain't smashed For lack of trying So we're breaking things Breaking things, yeah-yeah-yeah We’re grounded Oohhh, punished To get to the place To be all that we can be Now's the time Now's the time So we're breaking things Ooohhh, we're breaking things Oh-oh-ooohhh You know we won’t stop trying Cutie Mark Crusader Jail Breakers, Yay! Author's Note Aaaaand now I officially start running out of songs again. Leave a suggestion in the comments, do. Please. 115. True To Your Chart(Note: Sung to the tune of Mulan's "True To Your Heart") Sung by Rainbow Dash One day, Rainbow Dash announced to every pegasus in town that Ponyville's reservoir had been picked to supply Cloudsdale with the water for the entirety of Equestria's rain for a year— and the only way to move all that drink was to mak a tornado that could make enough lift to get it all to Cloudsdale. If anypony needed to know how strong, Twilight Sparkle's handy-dandy graph would give the answers. A least, if you knew maths, anyway. Ponies, I knew at once that we have a job here Deep in my soul, I know that we must get in gear Though you're unsure On how to move The reservoir To Cloudsdale by hooves Ponies, I see your future, despite all the murk I know that we must get eight hundred wing power to work But I’d rather beat The record of A thousand wings Of power above True to your chart You must be true to your chart Any less and we fall apart And, ponies, we can’t make enough lift Open your eyes Your chart can tell you no lies And when you're true to your chart I know it's gonna lift the water up Not even seven hundred and ninety nine And Celestia knows how many bits isn’t fine We need the wings that we can get Just trust your chart And the deadline’s met! True to your chart Girl, my chart is telling me to synchronize All the pegasi should in one direction fly You check the graph You’ll know the speed You won't get stuck With your chart to guide you True to your chart You must be true to your chart Any less and we fall apart And, ponies, we can’t make enough lift Open your eyes Your chart can tell you no lies And when you're true to your chart I know it's gonna lift the water up True to your chart You must be true to your chart Any less and we fall apart And, ponies, we can’t make enough lift Open your eyes Your chart can tell you no lies And when you're true to your chart I know it's gonna lift the water up True to your chart So let’s make this tornado! If you don't know where to start Just check back on your graph and Just be true to your chart Now go home, stretch your wings or We’re doomed right from the start Don’t forget, take the graphs home Just be true to your chart True to your chart Author's Note As requested by Revenant Wings 116. No Payout(Note: Sung to the tune of Brother Bear's "No Way Out") Sung by Fluttershy "100% satisfaction or no payment." Those were the exact words regarding Iron Will's assertiveness seminar. Fluttershy, as it turned out, wasn't satisfied with the results (I mean, you can't look back on the fact you threw at least 3 ponies into a pond and not feel bad), and so, she felt it ought to be free. Everywhere I turned I hurt someone But there's nothing I can say to change the things I've done “One hundred percent satisfaction or your money back” Iron Will, those exact words were yours, and that’s a fact There's no way out of your tag-on No like, no money I know I hurt ponies But I can't see another way And I can't bring myself to pay Tell me where did I go wrong I even went and sung a song About stomping ponies to the ground But I didn’t like the scene And that’s why there’s no payment to be found There's no way out of your tag-on No like, no money I know I hurt ponies But I can't see another way And I can't bring myself to pay Can't believe the words I spoke Pushing around like it’s a joke And when I think back, I feel shame This thought, this act, this lack of tact I know It's hard but found somehow To look into your eye and to declare right now You've given me the strength to say that I’m not satisfied You've given me the strength to not pay out I see the loophole in your clause I see my future And your exact words has meant no fee Oh, and I can see another way Don’t have to pay you today (I see the path) I can see the path I see my loophole (I see the loophole) I see how to avoid the pay I see my loophole I see how to avoid the pay Author's Note As requested by hamcon 119. We Can Pry(Note: Sung to the tune of Peter Pan's "You Can Fly") Sung by Twilight Sparkle and Rarity When Spike realized during the once-in-a-lifetime event called the great dragon migration that he knew little about himself, having grown up in an all-pony society, he announced to his friends that he would leave on a journey of self-discovery by joining the migration. As his friends waved Spike goodbye, Twilight and Rarity glanced at each other. "...We're following him, right?" "Of course." Think we should follow behind, Save his scaly small behind? Do we track his progress, yeah, Follow Spike round everywhere, Give espionage a try? We can pry, we can pry, we can pry!!! There'll be trouble on the way, He'll be lost throughout the day! Think of all the trouble when, He gets pushed around and then, He's left hung out to dry! (Ohh...) We can pry, we can pry, we can pry!!! Off he goes With a Hi and Ho With a knapsack on his back There's a dragon herd waiting for him Where he's the lowest on the rack The runt, puny, he's on trouble's track! When there's a problem ahead We should sort it out instead Catch up before it's too late Avert Spike-wikey's fate By being pony spies! We can pry, we can pry, we can pry!!! Yes, we should follow behind, Save his scaly small behind! We must track his progress, yeah, Follow Spike round everywhere, Give espionage a try! We can pry, we can pry, we can pry!!! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. 120. Ambulance(Note: Sung to the tune of Phineas And Ferb's "Fabulous") Sung by Pinkie Pie After Rainbow Dash got into a rather bad accident of a somewhat bumpy (others would say "crashy" but bumpy works too) nature. Panicking, Twilight told Pinkie to call Rainbow Dash an ambulance. So that's exactly what Pinkie did. Oh hey there Rainbow Dash, Twilight said to me, “Call Rainbow Dash an ambulance” you see. I think Twilight’s playing a pretend-y game, But I don’t think it’s a good time, all the same. Twilight: “Pinkie! Not LITERALLY!” But you don’t have a big cross that’s bright red, No blue and red siren on top of your head. No room in the back for a patient or four, On either side, you don’t have a door! You have to admit, Twilight’s confusing. Rarity: “Never mind, I’ll do it…” Rainbow Dash: “MY WINGS!” Twilight Sparkle’s given you A new nickname, maybe two! You're an ambulance. (An ambulance!) You’re an ambulance. (An ambulance!) I don’t get it, but okay! Your new name is... (But why, anyway?) You're an ambulance. (An ambulance!) You’re an ambulance. (An ambulance!) What the heck do you have in common with A medical vehicle? A true wordsmith Would see a pattern sooner than I, But as for me I do have to try! Unless Twilight Sparkle meant I should “Call up” an ambulance? That would be good! Well, why didn’t Twilight say so at first? Then I could help before you got worse! But, still, it’s a funny name So I’ll still call her that, the same! You're an ambulance. (An ambulance!) You’re an ambulance. (An ambulance!) I don’t get it, but okay! Your new name is... (But why, anyway?) You're an ambulance. (An ambulance!) You’re an ambulance. (An ambulance!) Author's Note As requested by The Princess Rarity. 122. When Can I Eat Things Again?(Note: Sung to the tune of Wreck-It-Ralph's "When Can I See You Again?") Sung by Twilight Sparkle When Twilight Sparkle first came into Ponyville, it was under orders from Princess Celestia to oversee the Summer Sun Celebration. And make friends on the side. Upon meeting Applejack, Twilight found herself unable to escape the Apple Family and their hospitality... Twilight left Sweet Apple Acres feeling considerably fuller than before. And with a lower opinion of the town than before to boot. When can we do this again? When can I eat things again? When can we do this again? When can I eat things again? When can we do this again? When can I eat things again? Went to the farm to see who would provide Catering for the festival tonight It was Applejack and her enormous clan She wouldn't let me leave, without some pie and some flan My tummy's three times its normal size I've had it up to here with Apple pies Why's everypony in town crazy? It's the whole town vs. Spike and me But before I go consult my list I gotta know, 'til then, when can we do this again? Oh oh oh oh When can I eat things again? Oh oh oh oh When can we do this again? Oh oh oh oh I gotta know, when can I eat things again?? (When can I eat things again??) Lethargy looms, yeah I feel quite bloated The Apple family's been duly noted Look all around at all the leftovers left at brunch It's just a matter of time, before digestion's big crunch My tummy's three times its normal size I've had it up to here with Apple pies Why's everypony in town crazy? It's the whole town vs. Spike and me But before I go consult my list I gotta know, 'til then, when can we do this again? Oh oh oh oh When can I eat things again? Oh oh oh oh When can we do this again? Oh oh oh oh I gotta know, when can I eat things again?? Do close your eyes 'cause my stomach may eject soon It's just a matter of time, just not 'fore the afternoon My tummy's three times its normal size I've had it up to here with Apple pies So let me know, was staying truly wise? When can I eat things again? Oh oh oh oh When can we do this again? Oh oh oh oh When can I eat things again? Oh oh oh oh When can we do this again? Oh oh oh oh I don't think I can take anymore I could lose my lunch over the floor But before I go consult my list Tell me when When can I eat things again? When can I eat things again? Tell me when When can I eat things again? 125. This Is How I Clean(Note: Sung to the tune of The Nightmare Before Christmas's "This Is Halloween") Sung by Spike Spike, as number one assistant to Twilight Sparkle, does absolutely everything Twilight Sparkle asks of him. Of course that includes cleaning the Golden Oaks library and recently, Twilight's newest castle. No dust or grime ever escapes the watch of Spike. Fillies and colts of every age The stuff I am trying to rearrange Come with us and you will see Watch the method how I clean This is how I clean, this is how I clean Mopping floors until late at night This is how I clean, with soap suds I can't be mean Scrub and brush Twilight's bedroom soon as it gets light It's our home, everypony scream Look at Spike, look how I clean This castle is fifteen hundred square feet Thankfully I'm happy doing her sheets Twilight insists on cleaning up the rest Just one more reason that my job's the best This is how I clean, this is how I clean How I clean! How I clean! How I clean! How I clean! In this castle we call home I polish floors all morning long! By today, it should sparkle now Everybody's waiting for the next surprise Found my bucket and my mop in the trash can Rainbow Dash's newest prank...yeah, it's a scream... Scream! This is how I clean Detergent, shiny green Aren't you bored? Well, that's just fine Say it once, say it twice I also keep out the mice Get the washing up done by tonight Everypony scream, everypony scream Watch me, pal, it's how I clean I am the dragon that's armed with the brush Scrubbing the walls taking care not to rush I am the assistant sorting the books So that Twilight Sparkle knows where to look I am the guy scraping gum off the chair Pinkie just leaves litter everywhere! This is how I clean, this is how I clean How I clean! How I clean! How I clean! How I clean! How I clean! How I clean! Muddy hoofprints everywhere Left by a certain farmer mare Scrub that mud, with vigor keen In my task it's how I clean In this place Clean the room post-haste! Everypony's waiting for the sparkling room Applejack wiping her hooves out back And use a new wipe rag Use a new soap bar again This is how I clean, everypony leave Wont' ya please make way til I've finished cleaning, guys? Spike's your dude for scrubbing and mopping food Everyone hail to the Cleaning Aide, now! This is how I clean, this is how I clean How I clean! How I clean! How I clean! How I clean! In this castle we call home I polish floors all morning long! La la-la la, How I clean! How I clean! La la-la la, How I clean! How I clean! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. 126. Sheets And Rolls(Note: Sung to the tune of Oliver and Company's "Streets of Gold") Sung by 8-Bit, Poindexter and Gaffer Back in his high-school days, Shining Armor's group of friends composed of educational outcasts who only desired to keep to themselves playing Oubliettes and Ogres. Shining Armor nowadays has little opportunity to exercise his level 47 paladin figurine, but if he could convert his time in the Royal Guard and being Prince of the Crystal Empire into campaigns, he'd be the strongest player around. He learnt from the best, though. It's no surprise. Now listen up Your party stands before The great Cave of Bits. Suddenly, A troll attacks! Roll for initiative! Or would you rather turn and flee? When you've got Haste you always take first turn Level Three Firebolt! That troll's gonna burn! We now gotta roll for damage check Rolling a twenty to Crit it to death Stopped him tearing out our skulls Check our sheets and rolls After the fight, that's when you spot a ring It's lined with silver, it's valuable bling! Do you rob the troll's corpse cold? Prep the sheets and rolls Course we take the bling! It's a thief thing! We could sell this for big bucks! Oh whoops, too bad That there ring is CURSED Turning all liquid to sand, tough luck! And that includes your potions, by the way. Uh. just a thought occurred to me today How much water in pony bodies? You said, "all liquid". Do clarify, please. Insta-kills for amateurs! You can fight the curse And stop your whole body from leaking sand Roll, then compare it to resistance and Do you turn to sandy gold? Check your sheets and rolls... Oh no, tough luck there, you just rolled a one So did Poindexter. Don't tell me we're done!? Now you're both dead. You did not survive Roll was against you 'bout staying alive Greed has forced you both to fold That's the sheets and rolls That was the shortest campaign that I played! We killed just one monster! No progress was made! Until next campaign, I'm told By the sheets and rolls Author's Note Inspired by the comics. Also I have never played D&D so be gentle. 130. Night Light(Note: Sung to the tune of The Brave Little Toaster Goes To Mars's "Fight Right") Sung by Applejack and Applebloom It could only be described as the worst possible timing. Applebloom was only occupying herself after completing her household chores with time to spare (by dancing on a table), when Applejack came home, surprised Applebloom, and then she fell off the table, resulting in quite the mess. Applejack then decided it was probably best if Applebloom wasn't left unattended. Mah sister has only one thought: To keep me from being danger-fraught Do ya need me to tuck ya in? I'll bring ya cocoa without the skin! Ah think Ah'll live, Ah won't die in mah sleep... A burglar with a shiv, Might storm the Apple keep! Yer caring's overbearing, ya know... Ah'll pick ya up when yer feelin' low...! Independence; this surely is a riddle Is this filly helpless or not? Probably the truth, or somewhere in the middle. For those that are good; For those who are bad. And this bothers us a lot! Ah'll read ya a bedtime story, Somethin' happy, nothin' too gory! Ya make it sound like I'm too frail, Like my organs will up and fail. Ah'm not falling for All the overprotection. Ah'm just calling for This safety correction! It's not like Ah'll die... Ya might! Wait, what! Why? Ah'll lock all the doors... And you've sealed up the floors! It's just ta make sure. It's way too excessive! But hang on, there's still more! That's being obsessive... Make sure ya stay put Easy when-...when-...Ah'm locked up...! Ya want me to leave the light on? Don't bother, not like Ah'll be gone. Fine or not fine, a matter of perspective, Physically, it's pretty safe. But both of us worry 'bout diff'rent perspectives, Ah'd like some 'me' time... Watch her ALL the time! Is there risk of scars and chafes? ...Nope. Nope? Okay, but Ah'm in the next room, If ya need me to save ya from doom! Look, sis, can Ah just go ta sleep? Turn off the light, that request ain't that steep. Night Light! Night Light! Night Light! 131. Build A Little Missile(Note: Sung to the tune of Pinocchio's "Give A Little Whistle") Sung by Rainbow Dash Rainbow Dash had been working on a tricky new stunt for Wonderbolt Training (this was before she received ACTUAL Wonderbolt training which was considerably more thorough and challenging. It basically involved a complex looking see-saw (it had to be more complicated than it looked if a falling pony's weight, in this case Applejack, could eject Rainbow Dash 500 feet into the air) and Rainbow managing as many tricks as she could before she was forced to flap her wings. It was all going well until Applejack worked herself to exhaustion, and got the timing totally wrong as a result. Take a log and wooden planks and stack them right on top, Build a little missile, build a little missile. Reinforce the see-saw so the wooden parts don't flop, Build a little missile! Build a little missile. Not just a little jump, soldier up and leap. Cos if my missile's weak I'll- -Fall to the floor Take the nails and hammer them on one end to direct, Build a little missile! Build a little missile! And always wear a helmet, don't forget! Let Twilight do her egghead maths so there are no defects, Build a little missile! Build a little missile! And always wear a helmet, don't forget. And always wear a helmet, don't forget! 133. Mah Swell Avenger Cream(Note: Sung to the tune of The Princess And The Frog's "Ma Belle Evangeline") Sung by Marine Sandwich It all started with a hopeful Equestria Super Chef Championship entrant called Marine Sandwich. Applejack was at the venue making a delivery when she was mistaken for Sandwich and got entered into the Championship using her name. She tried to take her proper place and got kicked out as a result. And that's how ~~Equestria was made~~ she built a humongous gun that shoots fondant and vowed revenge on all that had wronged her. As you do. Look at the frosting it fires, Mah swell Avenger Cream. All the ponies that aspire, Very soon in horror they will scream. Je t'adore, Je t'aime Avenger Cream, You're my weapon of choice, So sticky, So moist! That someone as talented as me, Denied contest entry!? And so I built a gun that shoots I'm cutting loose, Avenger Cream! Vengeance is beautiful, Vengeance is wonderful! Vengeance is everything, do you agree? Mais' oui! Firing at a thousand PSI, I love you, Avenger Cream! Author's Note As requested by coolcat61 134. Quite Harmfully(Note: Sung to the tune of The Little Mermaid's "In Harmony") Sung by Daisy, Rose, and Lilly Valley It was the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny; a good guy, a bad guy and explosions, all to decide the fate of Equestria and all of its worldly magic! Thing was, the Tirek vs Twilight showdown left a lot of environmental damage. Being the nature-lovers they are, Daisy, Rose, and Lilly Valley did what they did best, and raised a massive fuss over it in the aftermath of the whole incident. What a big disaster! Think of all the grass! Environmental damages Are high-priority class! We should sue Princess Twilight Maybe small or great For destruction to conifers And flowers in a state! Quite harmfully Harmfully Think of the trees And flowers please! It hurt quite harmfully I don't care if that Tirek Would make magic a loss You committed a dreadful sin By laying waste to some moss! We speak and fight for nature It deserves to be won! We'll get our best attorneys and Go get compensation! Quite harmfully Harmfully The hedges burnt Is what we learnt! It hurt quite harmfully Quite harmfully Harmfully Explosions blew A forest in two! It hurt quite harmfully Quite harmfully Harmfully Think of the trees And flowers please! It hurt quite harmfully Think of the trees And flowers please! It hurt quite harmfully Author's Note As requested by Fetch 135. I Love The Bath(Note: Sung to the tune of Mary Poppins's "I Love To Laugh") Sung by Rarity A trip to the spa is always in order for Rarity whenever things get way too much, or to celebrate another fiasco mostly averted with her friends. Here are the most common reasons for feeling the need for a therapeutic soak: Celebrate the fact that nopony got hurt, which is all you want really. When excessive amounts of filth was involved doing something to help. Angst bathing (she's too classy for a mere Shower of Angst) Any mention of Prince Blueblood. I love the bath Hot with suds and foam I love the bath At the spa away from home The more I soak The more I lose the grime And the less the grime The more of a wonderful time (It's embarrassing!) The more of a wonderful time Sometimes I feel I deserve it After some things like this (Mmm...Dreadful) Like Pound and Pumpkin threw up, goodness sake Or helping Pinkie Pie bake (Not at all attractive to my way of thinking) Soak in the tub No need to scrub Pass me the oils and towel When with my friends I can't wait for the end When things get much too stressful I can't hide it inside and squeak As the fabulous lean I've got to get clean with Lotus and Aloe And a nice thick book too I love the bath Hot with suds and foam I love the bath At the spa away from home The more I soak The more I lose the grime And the less the grime The more of a wonderful time (It's embarrassing!) The more of a wonderful time 137. Mustard(Note: Sung to the tune of Phineas and Ferb's "Busted") Sung by Pinkie Pie You get ponies who put so many things on hot dogs: ketchup, jam, onions...but in Pinkie's case, she prefers the much more traditional mustard. Not hot sauce, though. That is strictly an addition for cupcakes only. You are a heathen for even suggesting it. I can see the things you're doin' And you think that I'm naive But I'm not into ketchup or Getting jam on my sleeves (That is if I have any sleeves To get themselves smeared up in sauce) I just don't see just what you're doin' Why you'd put marmalade, stop and pause! Don't think I'm not a hot dog gal 'Cause you better believe that we're all hot dog pals, it's true You know it! (yeah) You know it! It's just that I simply prefer mustard! (Mustard!) I don't wanna put on mild stuff And you better believe me I want the sauce that'd turn normal tongues coarse and rough, That mustard. (Mustard!) Yeah, you may suggest I use hot sauce, The differences can't be profound, But that's totally different of course, To mustard! You see one is colored red, It looks like ketchup in your head, And that's no good, cos in my food, I want mustard instead. And I don't care what you've found, That's like saying square is round, Or like saying up is down, (Saying up is down) It starts with a "M"! (Starts with a "M"!) It goes M-U-S-T-A-R-D! That is mustard! (Mustard!) I would never ruin dogs in that way And you better believe me, That hot-sauce and mustard is like night and day, (Totally different!) It's mustard (Mustard!) Don't think I'd use hot-sauce or jam... Yeah, no onions or anything... (I don't wanna know) This is how it's gonna be, I'll always take hot dogs with one thing, (I'll have it! I'll have it!) With mustard! Author's Note As requested by dragonspinner33 139. Crazy Vines(Note: Sung to the tune of Dumbo's "Baby Mine") Sung by Twilight Sparkle The Tree of Harmony was surprisingly active for something supposedly dying. Then again, a magical tree can probably get away with sprouting spiky thorns and devouring half of Ponyville when it is no longer being sustained by the Elements of Harmony... Before that was discovered though, Twilight and her friends tried to deal with them the hard way... Crazy vines, wrecking homes Crazy vines, far they roam Spiky whips swallowing town Stuff's going down Crazy black vines Is Discord behind this? Rainbow Dash's spiky clouds Fluttershy's home got devoured Got swallowed by Crazy black vines Applejack's not coming back Weeding the farm for a while Rarity's horn is enaging What could make Everfree start enraging? From your head down to your hoof Magic plants tear the roof All set to start freaking out Panic about Crazy black vines Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. Please don't leave it to JUST her to suggest things plz... 140. Carrying The Planner(Note: Sung to the tune of Newsies's "Carrying The Banner") Sung by Spike Before coming to Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle believed studying was life. This is usually unfortunate for an assistant who has no obligation to be educated, but not for Spike. Duty come naturally for him, and every morning was spent making plans for the day, and then making plans FOR the plans. Let's make a list! And then another! Spike the Dragon's got work to do! Writing the schedule's such a bother But no sense bawlin'! I'm writing two? We spend ten minutes writing out The whole day and what is in it! That's why the first hour counts Only the first fifty minutes! After that we Start the next! Tomorrow in detail... Moving them quills! Feelin' vexed! From the start to tail! Ain't it a fine life, carryin' the planner through it all! A mighty fine life, carryin' the planner tough and tall! Every mornin', I'm checking the jobs down While we're walking through town On scrolls quite light-ish brown What a fine life, carryin' the planner home-free all! Marking down the checklist's checklist Not a sec to spare! Making ticks until I'm witless For a purple mare! Still, it's a fine life, carryin' the planner in my claws! A mighty fine life, organizing Twilight's day of course! I'm a snoozer Twilight makes me wake up Forcing me to take up Late noon napping straight up What a fine life, carryin' the planner through the day! Twilight Sparkle Though you calculate and you plan Accounting for, The whole time-span Twilight, listen You need to learn to set aside Relaxation Times, how I've tried! The shopping ought to take 30 minutes, then we make Enough time to get back home And go do some more research! Go look at what I got Wish I could catch a break Sure hope the research's not Too boring, I just can't take Much more, it's all I got! Someone, keep me awake... Cos the problem here is The closest and nearest Best thing that Twilight Sparkle has to fun Is studying magic And that's way too tragic Being holed up with company to shun Look! They're having a big party! But no time for parties, Got better essays From Celestia to complete! She was gonna start at twenty Now two dozen'll be plenty You will scribe on all twenty four sheets...? What'll you say, By the way? Get the wax stamp, And get cramp! Will you tell me? Go scribe on all twenty four sheets! "We need reliable citations!" So Twilight Sparkle says of course! "With all the latest information!" Least I'm not scribing, could be worse! I think I'll go make some dinner It'll be some time Before she feels it's a winner Literacy sublime! Still I'll be in here, carryin' the planner for the day! We'll be in here, writing every word in in some way! See the headline: Essay work: Two hours! Not that I'm too sour Since it's in her power To get gemstones Carryin' the planner is the- Look! The clock is striking seven! Writing stops at seven! It's time to check on something That's been sitting on the shelf! It's some chemistry in testing It's been going with no resting! Tell me what is so interesting About this stuff and your health! Then she takes a shower The only thing not school related But I think she has a stopwatch Just to get the timing straight-ed Every second Is too precious Feels it shouldn't be unstated and I- It's a fine life, carryin' the planner through it all! A mighty fine life, carryin' the planner tough and tall! See the highlight: Shower time: Half hour! Not that I'm too sour It's recess while she showers What a fine life, carryin' the planner! It's a fine life, carryin' the planner! It's a fine life, carryin' the planner! It's a fine life, carryin' the planner! It's a fine life, carryin' the planner! It's a, GO! Look! The clock, it strikes eleven! Bedtime's at eleven! Well it's usually Twilight's, My own bedtime's bang on eight! But I'll put it off til later She needs help with something greater! I'm an acting translator Scribing runes until quite late! I honestly don't mind I'll work night shifts if I have to Even if it's not good for me She could work and stop right at two Every second is too precious Making charts and all the graphs too I'm an assistant The one assistant Twilight's assistant The best assistant Go! 141. Short And Pitiful(Note: Sung to the tune of The Hunchback of Notre Dame's "Court Of Miracles") Sung by Applejack "Ah hate to say Ah told ya so, Twilight, but Ah told ya so!" shouted Applejack in a tiny voice, jumping up and down on Applebloom's back. "It's a curse, Ah tell ya!" Maybe you've heard of a terrible place Where a zebra who came here Hides out in the wood We're headin' out to that Everfree place Cos Ah'm short and pitiful And that ain't good! Ah'm four inches high Ah can barely talk Ah'm left high and dry Cos Ah'm too hoofin' small To do anythin' at all Everypony else at least kept their size And keep up a decent gallopin' speed Right now Ah'm short and pitiful Ah have to ride someone else as a steed! Ain't got no strength cos Ah'm short and pitiful Shame Ah'm in no shape to give a good kick But once Ah'm back to mah normal size quickly That zebra will wish that she held back her tricks! Because we've seen all the evidence Shrunk! Way too small! Four inches! Way too small! Short as pin! Ah find Ah'm totally useless now Except for paperweight jobs So Ah'm going on in! Author's Note As requested by Revenant Wings 143. More Than A Scheme(Note: Sung to the tune of Cinderalla III's "More Than A Dream") Sung by Twilight Sparkle The plan could best be summarized as "Let's publicly humiliate Rainbow Dash by dressing up as a superhero until she stops showing off." It's absolutely foolproof! Probably. Hopefully. I've always schemed About Rainbow Dash Stop her showing off And being way to brash So we make a Batmare knock-off And then even out the score Make it something more Than a scheme! Then one magic night With a single mare Rarity made the Best costumes anywhere And for once she'll learn humility As Mare-Do-Well mops her floor And it is so much more So much more than a scheme She won't say it never happened Just a dream from the start Hopefully She will bounce back From a broken heart If it's a burning house Or rescuing a falling mare If there's any chance of robbery Mare-Do-Well will be there What could possibly Go so badly wrong? By the time we're done Rainbow's ego won't last long! There's a better life that's waiting Past the mountains she must climb Humble's something she should learn To stop her bragging all the time The idea's so much more So much more Than a scheme 144. After Toupees(Note: Sung to the tune of A Goofy Movie's "After Today") Sung by Pinkie Pie Did she seriously have to hang off a flagpole, with a megaphone, proclaiming Cranky Doodle Donkey's follicle-ly-challenged status for EVERYPONY to hear? Cranky certainly didn't think so. Especially since it was HER fault for thinking his toupee was a spider and stomping on it. He's been hairless since I can't remember But you're not gonna laugh anymore No more "Cranky the Bald" I am frankly appalled as before He's a follicle-ly challenged member And so I need a wig right now, stat! If you can't manage wigs I'll take hats that are big Just like that! Just like that! Just like that! JUST LIKE THAT! Gonna find some head gear Gonna spread the big news Cranky Doodle Donkey is bald, don't let him stew! I'm after toupees, or maybe some afros After toupees, for a mule! After toupees, so gimme some ammo Something that's trendy and cool! I've got one sorry donkey who's head is all shiny Who's missing his hair and Whose pride is all tiny! Just know that it's serious business I need a wig thrown my way I will be spending today after toupees He gave me stink-eye And who could blame him? I can help out by Telling everyone hear that he's bald and it's clear I'm after toupees, or maybe some afros To replace the one I broke...(Blech!) After toupees, so gimme some ammo Slap-headed-ness is no joke! I've got one cranky donkey Who's missing head cover So please stop your laughing And cough up another! Just think of all the time I've been losing How much clearer can I say? Gonna need some new hair And he looks really cross Cos nopony will stop and resolve his great loss If you have wigs, can you stay? After toupees I need a wig thrown my way After toupees 145. The Pressure Is A Horrible Thing(Note: Sung to the tune of Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search For Christopher Robin's "Adventure Is A Wonderful Thing") Sung by Rainbow Dash "Just because you've failed the Sonic Rainboom a hundred thousand times in practice doesn't mean you won't be able to do it in front of an entire stadium, full of impatient, super-critical sports fan ponies," Fluttershy assured Rainbow Dash, in the hopes that it would restore her confidence in time for the Young Fliers Competition. It...did not have the intended effect. "MY LIFE IS RUINED!" Hoo, hoo Today's the day In only a matter of moments I'll mess up in some way The heck's a Sonic Rainboom? Not a soul can say And I can guess More or less My life's ruined Under stress Ah, the moments of glory Is out of reach "Ha ha," They're gonna all screech The pressure is a Horrible thing I may freeze up in terror I'm just not in this thing No strength, no nerves No heart, no wits I may make like a banana and just split The pressure is a lot And a half The fans are gonna see me They'll point at me and laugh The shame, the trip The mess, the spill I'll never Join the Wonderbolts Maybe I never will That's the bad side of the pressure It's strictly sink or float It runs you 'til you're ragged Then it grabs you by the throat I know I won't survive it Cos the chances are remote Hoo, hoo, on my turn I'm gonna crash and burn The pressure is a horrible thing "I almost forgot the very worst part: I not only get to crash and burn in front of everypony INCLUDING THE PRINCESS, but I also prime myself a great media target as the laughingstock pony who couldn't do it again either!" And I Will never fly Ever again I'll be laughed at then Exiled Ain't that just WILD!? Right here Take a look The fates are perfectly clear With my incomplete method of flying I've everything to fear Through the wringer And the fire Walking on The tightrope wire I wish I could be bolder Remember, Dignity's salvaged fate Rests completely on my shoulders, Doom... (Excuse me, bye...!) Failure looms! That's the horror of the pressure The trembling and the dread If I knew those jerks from Flight School came I would have stayed in bed Perhaps I could skip out? Cos I wish I was dead Hoo, hoo, got no clue How the heck I will pull through I'm all set, to freak out Nerves gone up the spout Make a fracas, panic lots Got excuses like the trots What's at stake is everything Oh cruel fate, where is thy sting? The pressure is a horrible thing Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. 146. M-I-L-D(Note: Sung to the tune of The Jungle Book 2's "W-I-L-D") Sung by Fluttershy Fluttershy really can't cope with loud noises. Not even her own. That is somewhat of a problem when you form an opinion of your own. Eventually the problem of expressing herself was solved with quite obvious actions such as jumping out of a window in protest, but it's still not a good idea to hire her as a foghorn. When I start to shout, hey honey It ain't no joke It barely registers in pony ears It's barely a croak (Barely a croak) Ha ha ha! 'scuse my invisibility I'm M-I-I-I-L-D!! When the music plays I can't talk over the noise (Can those at the back hear?) Even classical can drown out my tiny voice! Uh huh... You see I'm naturally M-I-I-I-L-D!! It's a chore to bring out the noise in me I don't have natural fury I'm not loud, I'm not proud Oh yeah, whatever (I'm quiet as a tree) From the maddest cat to the sweetest little dear I can't speak up or I'll just seize right up in fear I'll move on quietly...go M-I-I-I-L-D!! Whisper and squeak Up high or deep underground, You snarl, we shriek (Vout o roonie!) My head pounds and pounds and pounds! Please stop shouting at me, kthx there baby! I got no steam for a good scream My loudest yell is barely felt And when I speak it's like a squeak My hardest shout just can't come out! The strongest roar, within my core The best shout out is hardly stout The loudest sounds for miles around are M-I-L-D!!! Here's the thing: I sound broke; I never squawk I don't stack 'gainst alarm clocks I know my voice is not like scraping chalk! When you shout like that hey honey I start to shake (can't stand it!) I really don't like noise since it sounds like big earthquakes But I wanna be heard! Ask me why and I won't lie M-I-I-I-L-D!!! Whisper and squeak Up high or deep underground, You snarl, we shriek My head pounds and pounds and pounds! My oh me, I'm naturally M-I-I-I-L-D! Oh dear me, I'm uniquely M-I-I-I-L-D! Every beastie's louder than me... M-I-I-I-L-D!!!!! 147. Struma-Plucka-Whistle-Toot-Kazoo(Note: Sung to the tune of Home On The Range's "Yodel Adle Eedle Idle Oo") Sung by Pinkie Pie This would have been so much easier if somepony actually asked Pinkie WHY she felt the oddest compulsion to hoard musical instruments during the Parasprite invasion. Now listen up! There are parasprites in town Some horseapples going down, I fetched some trombones, drums, and big brass trumpets... Well, they're good as they may be, Lure them back to Everfree, And then come back home in time for tea and crumpets! I'm a machine, gals- Toot, whistle, pluck and boom And you ain't seen, gals, The brass band in my room: You see, I struma-plucka-whistle-toota-booma! The loudest form of pest control around! 'Cause when I struma-plucka-whistle-toota-booma They conga line and go after the sound! Bang that drum, toot that horn, Saxaphones until the morn, Which ain't easy when your lungs are 'bout to get all worn! Yes, if you realise why I stole your trombone too, I sure can struma-plucka-whistle-toota Struma-plucka-whistle-toota struma-plucka-whistle-toot-kazoo! "Oh hi Princess Celestia, don't mind me! Just passing through!" Yes, I can struma-plucka-whistle-toota-booma A sound them buggies truly take to heart! Yeah, I can struma-plucka-whistle-toota-booma! You should have listened to me from the start! Think I left...Rarity At the parasprites' mercy Broke in to take her recorder Now it all makes sense, you see! Yep! I'm the band who saved your flanks without pay too! Thanks to my struma-plucka-whistle-toota Struma-plucka-whistle-toota One girl-band playing without a crew 'Cause I can struma-plucka-whistle-toot-kazoo! Struma-plucka-whistle-toot-kazoo! Author's Note As requested by Thomlight Sparkle 1 149. Can't Climb Back Down(Note: Sung to the tune of Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam's "Can't Back Down") Sung by Applebloom Applebloom looked down from the top of the twenty meter oak tree. She knew at once that a Cutie Mark in abseiling was not right for her. All she could do was stare sadly at the rope she dropped when she ascended to the top. And yell for help. Again. I can't, I can't climb down Ah can't, Ah can't climb down Ah can't, Ah can't climb down Ah can't, Ah can't climb down Not right now, Ah can't climb down Not right now, Ah can't climb down Ah can't climb down Oh, yeah Please get me down... Ah'm stuck on top an oak tree Wherever ya are in town Please go get a ladder from somewhere Anywhere Ah can't climb down There's too much at stake This is serious Don't walk away Ah can't pretend Ah've got a ladder In mah own backyard And now Ah'm stuck (No luck) Ah have called out Anypony there? Ah'm kinda trapped No rope to spare Ah can't climb down Someone help somewhere? Don't walk away Don't walk away, yeah Don't get me wrong Ah had rope when Ah got here Then Ah dropped it All right to the floor A Cutie Mark in abseiling Is failing Ah can't climb down There's too much at stake This is serious Don't walk away Ah can't pretend Ah've got a ladder In mah own backyard And now Ah'm stuck (No luck) Ah have called out Anypony there? Ah'm kinda trapped No rope to spare Ah can't climb down Someone help somewhere? Don't walk away Don't walk away, yeah We got a situation that we can't ignore A filly trapped in a tree Can't afford to take this, no With every passing hour I risk breaking an important time for curfew Can y'all help me? Ah can't climb down There's too much at stake This is serious Don't walk away Ah can't pretend Ah've got a ladder In mah own backyard And now Ah'm stuck (No luck) Ah have called out Anypony there? Ah'm kinda trapped No rope to spare Ah can't climb down Someone help somewhere? Don't walk away Don't walk away Ah can't climb down, Ah can't climb down Not right now, Ah can't climb down 151. In Ninja Company(Note: Sung to the tune of Pocahontas's "Virginia Company") Sung by Pinkie Pie Do you need a full Fluttershy bodysuit? Ask Pinkie. Do you need a dark stealth outfit for breaking and entering a hospital with? Ask Pinkie. Do you need to be where the pony you're stalking is heading towards first? Ask Pinkie. She's either a professional ninja (a really good one) or a very enthusiastic amateur. Midway through Season 2 in A suit used by Dashie Was used to break into a room Like ninja company And I've got a Fluttershy skin That I wore in Season 3 Come straight to me for your stealth needs I'm ninja company At hide-and-seek, I never lose I'm ninja company Oh yes, how do you explain it? Cos when you try to flee You run away to somewhere else And bump straight into me It's an art, and I have trained it, Be a stealthy quick pony! So please hang out with Auntie Pink I'm ninja company I give logic no time of day I'm ninja company Author's Note As requested by Dirty Bit 155. Remedies(Note: Sung to the tune of Phineas and Ferb's "Frenemies") Sung by Zecora Need a good cure for what ails ye? With Zecora around, there's a potion for that. Need to flash-back to the past and suffer bizarre out-of-context hallucinations? There's a potion for that. Do you wish you were an Oscar Meyer Wiener? Well, there's probably a potion for that too. I have pick-me-ups In different cups When you need to see a medic, baby, I have just the sups I've got some potions for the trots and Perfumes, tonics, vials (lots) and Even simply a nice stiff drink Or fluid for cleaning out sand! Cause my remedies They are all-purpose fixer-uppers Yes, my recipes Will put you right before supper! Three foals asked me for my potions Trying to be experts on explosions But I could tell that it would cause some unneeded commotion Cause my remedies They are all-purpose fixer-uppers Yes, my recipes Will put you right before supper! Hello there, are you suffering from swine flu? I've a remedy for that too! Author's Note As requested by ShadowLDrago. Now then, could I have some non-Phineas and Ferb suggestions, plz? 156. Get'cha Head Out That Hole(Note: Sung to the tune of High School Musical's "Get'cha Head In The Game") Sung by Fluttershy When you're basically dependent on magic for everything, what does a unicorn DO during Winter Wrap Up when tradition says "no magic"? Twilight wasn't sure, so she started with Rainbow Dash. But her job involved flying to different places, so that was a bust. So she tried joining Rarity in bird-nest making, but they were so terrible Rarity often had to slap her hooves away and do them herself. So she tried to join Pinkie in ice-breaking, but magic doesn't give you a lot of muscle tone or coordination, and she crashed. And sweet Celestia, don't mention what happened when she tried to help Fluttershy wake up hibernating animals. They are NOT morning animals. I said to not just look in Because didn't you spot the traces of the shed skin? Oh, good morning by the way Gotta go find Twilight, so have a good day! She ran into a cave Into flocks of bats Hope that she's okay... You gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole You gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Let's make sure that the beehive's alright She might have broke it when it fell from that height A second chance, gotta stop her right now And maybe this time I'll teach her on how! Wait a minute, get'cha head out that hole Wait a minute, get'cha head out that hole Wait a minute, get'cha head out that hole Oh! Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Why is she doing it wrong? That cave is no good The skunk spray, it is strong She stinks like diseased blight Oh, good morning, friends! You better clean that... Should I recommend Twilight be moved somewhere else? She wanted to help so much, but now she just smells Oh no! Twilight found a scorpion's sole I gotta get get her head out that hole Now is Twilight okay? Is the stinging too deep? Should she go on her way? Since the job is too steep I think I'm going insane Those bears are bringing the pain... Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole 158. Everything Is Wrong(Note: Sung to the tune of Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search For Christopher Robin's "Everything Is Right") Sung by Cheerilee The answers the Cutie Mark Crusaders gave Cheerilee on their latest test left her rubbing her forehead with her hoof. Points for thinking outside the box, maybe, but the results did leave something to be desired. Here's an extract: "Q: Define the term 'partnership'." "A: A ship that needs two ponies to drive." Wrongs answers, row after row First highs and now the lows Hippies aren't small hippos What could be more wrong? "Name six things in Everfree?" "Four owls, two mice, no, three!" After school, come see me... What could be more wrong? Nothing can go right Cos everything is wrong 'Free press' is not 'bout ironing! Nothing can go right Cos everything is wrong And everything is wrong, I sing "When Celestia was crowned, First thing she did in town?" No points for just "Sit down"... What could be more wrong? Nothing marked as right. Yes, everything is wrong, A dead parrot's NOT "polygon"! Nothing can go right As long as everything is wrong And everything IS wrong Top to bottom Everything is wrong Varicose means "close by"? Don't think that is right... Perfectly, horribly, totally I need a drink Right now... Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. 159. Unhappy Scooping Song(Note: Sung to the tune of Enchanted's "Happy Working Song") Sung by Fluttershy Fluttershy shuddered, as she prepared the plastic bags and the scoop. Although this task was routine to her day, she felt it never seemed to get any easier. Perhaps it was because she was a fairly reserved and prudish pony. As much as she loved her animal friends, she could never get used to poop-scooping duty. "All right everyone, time to tidy things up!" Get set, block my nose As I sing an unhappy little scooping song Cleaning litter trays that smell so strong Watch me shovel dung up Can't leave it, or I'll spoil it So I clean these square-shaped toilets As I work along So I start with little birds first things first And the worst, the bears poop something grand Scrub the bird mess off my roof, and sand To the marching band Of unhappy scooping songs All my friends from birds and bees Give their homes a mopping Hosing down the lavatories And scrubbing up the droppings Ooh! I try to keep my spirits up with a little La-da-da-doo-doo, An apt description of the doo-doo And I whistle too Unhappy scooping songs Oo-ooh Unhappy scooping songs Oh, how rank a job to have Scrubbing all of those lavs My heart is sighing Still, as long as I am here Coming home to cleaner nests Makes it worth trying ...I'm not crying... Put my gas mask on, I'll be gone With unhappy working tunes to hum For these bear caves make my nostrils hum Two a day, they find a way But I'm determined To toilet-train with some learnin' Wearing nappies, that's not wrong Singing as I swap every inch of cave And the burrows and I make sure to save My home last If you cannot sing then hum along As I finish my unhappy scooping song! Author's Note As requested by lalamelody2019. 160. I Never Know What You Are(Note: Sung to the tune of Treasure Planet's "I'll Always Know Where You Are") Sung by Rainbow Dash Tank is often mistaken for a turtle. He is definitely not that, but it's hard to remember the exact classification of his species. Heck, even FLUTTERSHY sometimes forgets Tank is in fact a tortoise. Much to Tank's frustration. But unfortunately he takes so long to voice his objections that nopony hears him. It's good to have a pet here in this place But now we have a problem in my home We all know you are a tortoise, but I always think you're something else instead Somehow, we ALL forget That there's no doubt That you are not a turtle, no siree Even though it's plain you're a tortoise I never know what you are When I see you there I never know what you are What you are And I tell myself, please do not forget He really cannot swim, he sinks like stone But I know that I'm not alone In thinking he's a creature of the sea Somehow, we just think You're something else A case of mistaken identity Even though it's plain you're a tortoise I never know what you are When I see you there I never know what you are What you are And it's all so clear, but even so Not even Fluttershy remembers that You're a tortoise and not a turtle I never know, I never know what you are When I see you there I never know what you are Shame to say, it's true I never know what you are When I see you there I never know what you are What you are 161. Your Bother And Mine(Note: Sung to the tune of Peter Pan's "Your Mother And Mine") Sung by Rarity and Applejack Even if Rarity and Applejack have virtually nothing in common in regards to attitude, interests or anything else, there is one thing both mares can agree on. Their sisters need to learn to plan ahead before they cause more property damage trying to find their cutie marks. "Well our sisters, now we both love them, but they DO need to cut back on their excursions; And I've forked out bits fixing all they broke Civility, all up in smoke!" Your bother and mine Your bother and mine We worry sick over what comes next They lengths they go leave us perplexed Your bother and mine Your bother and mine What makes sisters all that they are? Might as well ask, "Why set the bar?" Why can't they do anything tame? Their hearts will say,"Cos it's just lame." Fiascos of their design, Your bother and mine! 164. The Princess Has Arrived(Note: Sung to the tune of Meet The Robinsons's "The Future Has Arrived") Sung by Princess Luna "Hello, everypony. Did I miss anything?" Everypony couldn't help but think Princess Luna slept through the best part of the buildup to the wedding (or worst, depending on whether you were one of the victims of the changelings). And Princess Celestia couldn't help but think, "Again?" The princess has arrived The princess's arrived Nap-time took a dive So what'd we miss? What's everything about? It's better for you and it's better for me If we heard the tale from the mouths of everypony The princess has arrived The princess has arrived today Yes, we're still alive, alive as can be Rumors of our death, got blown up you see We just took a nap, and missed out the fun At least we assume it was, everyone It's time to catch up What happened while we were gone? What's with all the rubble? And green slime on the lawn? The princess has arrived The princess has arrived today The princess's alive The princess is alive today The princess's arrived Nap-time took a dive So what'd we miss? What's everything about? It's better for you and it's better for me If we heard the tale from the mouths of everypony It's time to catch up We woke up to blinding light And what looked like ponies Thrown towards the sunrise You did all see that, right? The princess has arrived The princess has arrived today The princess's alive The princess is alive today The princess has arrived The princess has arrived today The princess's alive The princess is alive today The princess has arrived The princess has arrived today The princess's alive The princess is alive today The princess has arrived today 165. (Monitor) Every Little Piece(Note: Sung to the tune of Pete's Dragon's "Every Little Piece") Sung by Twilight Sparkle It all started when Twilight Sparkle was visited by herself FROM THE FUTURE. She dropped off a message saying not to panic about something happening next Tuesday...and vanished. The Twilight of the present tried everything to avert the catastrophe, but after realising that she was only looking more and more like Future Twilight, she knew nothing was working. Clearly, in light of the futile attempts to avert the future, Twilight logically concluded that there was only one thing left to do. Monitor absolutely EVERYTHING. Everypony, Everfree, and especially watch for Pinkie Every little piece Every little piece Haven't slept for days on end, for worrying, scurrying Keep a watchful eye on what passes by There's enough of town to go around Listen, listen, listen for the sound Every little piece Every little piece I only have three days left til it hits, so I sit Watching everything, every horn and wing Even little bugs that buzz and sting Will be watched for every little thing I'm not panicking, no, not I Just being cautious is all The smallest speck will never slip by Until Tuesday I'm playing the spy Until Tuesday I'm playing the spy Every little piece Every little piece Trying to prevent a bad destiny; and the key Lies in vigilance, won't stop even once Every flake of dust will be observed I have no idea what we deserved Spying on everypony in town Going about their life A first sign tells me what's going down Watch the screens go all grey-ish brown Watch the screens go all grey-ish brown Every little piece, every little crease I only have til Tuesday To watch it all, not botch it all Pinkie still agrees It makes sense to me I'll see it all, hear it all Feel it all, smell it all Can't you see it's logically sound? To spy on everything that's all around! Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday! Spy Watch I've the nerve to observe Peep Pry I'm spying Look See Do Vigilance For a chance Marks Glare Out there lies trouble Deep Dragon cartilage keeps you thin Dragon fat is for burns A dragon tear will clear up your skin Watch the profits come rolling in Watch the profits come rolling in Spying on everypony in town Going about their life A first sign tells me what's going down Watch the screens go all grey-ish brown Watch the screens go all grey-ish brown Every little piece, every little crease I only have til Tuesday To watch it all, not botch it all Pinkie still agrees It makes sense to me I'll see it all, hear it all Feel it all, smell it all The answer still has not been properly found! That's why I'll monitor all that's around! Author's Note Important: The well runneth dry once again. Throw your suggestions at me, and hopefully it will keep me from going as mad as Twilight was. Thanks guize! 166. Nopony Else Got Flu(Note: Sung to the tune of A Goofy Movie's "Nobody Else But You") Sung by Sweetie Belle Sweetie woke up one morning feeling extremely snuffly and with a bad case of cough. Which was unfortunate, as that day was the day Cheerilee was taking the class out on a school trip. She didn't say where, saying it was a surprise, but Sweetie couldn't help but feel she was missing something awesome. Luckily, it turned out to be a box factory, so she missed nothing at all. But she didn't know that. There are times where I am, shall we say, way hyper Normally I'm fit as fiddles, that is true (But just then...) Still, just when the school trip happens I get sick and feel like nappin'! Nopony else got flu Oh my fever just went up and I'm still coughing And my health just may be, so to speak, askew (Achoo! This stinks!) I can barely get a tune in, I feel faint and could be swoonin', Nopony else got flu! Nopony else got flu It's just my luck, I'm missing out here AB and Scootaloo Are having a great time, and there's no doubt here So I lost my voice, and I'm still lying down prone And my cough mixture tastes like alfalfa too! I'm still coughing and I'm sneezing And I cannot stop my wheezing And the cure's worse than the illness, that is true! I feel light headed and hazy, A headache pounding like crazy! It stinks nopony else, but... Nopony else got flu I've turned into, a virus carrier Hard luck, I've had a few Got the short straw today Falling ill at this time Must find someone to blame For this unhealthy crime Since nopony else got F - L - U! Author's Note As requested by Sparkfire. 168. A Clawful Of Booty(Note: Sung to the tune of Mary Poppins's "A Spoonful Of Sugar") Sung by Twilight Sparkle If ever you catch anypony not giving Spike anything extravagant on special occasions, they will swear it's not because they're being stingy. No, it's because too much swag encourages a dragon's instinct to hoard and turns Spike into a rampaging monster who will take everything and anything within sight. Even the leaves off trees. With everything he thinks he needs There is an element of greed He finds your stuff and snap! "SPIKE WANT!" it is... And ev'ry 'give' you spare the rest He 'takes' with huge interest The hay! Dear me! It's very clear to see that... A clawful of booty makes the dragon stomp 'round town The dragon stomp 'round tow-own The dragon stomp 'round town Just a clawful of booty makes the dragon stomp 'round town In a mostly frightful way! A robin feathering his nest Has very little time to rest His home got nicked, so he must start again Spike's quite intent in his pursuit He wants everypony's loot Hide all your wares! Don't pause to stop and stare! Oh, a clawful of booty makes the dragon stomp 'round town The dragon stomp 'round tow-own The dragon stomp 'round town Just a clawful of booty makes the dragon stomp 'round town In a mostly frightful way! And then down at Sweet Apple Acres From the apple trees that grow The apples are gone, and strangely, so's the leaves Because poor Spike can't help himself From every box and shelf He finds (he finds), He takes (he takes) We made a big mistake... Oh, a clawful of booty makes the dragon stomp 'round town The dragon stomp 'round tow-own The dragon stomp 'round town Just a clawful of booty makes the dragon stomp 'round town In a mostly frightful way! 169. Shut Up And Die(Note: Sung to the tune of Wreck-It Ralph's "Shut Up And Drive") Sung by you...um...if that's alright with you... All that three quarters of the brony fandom want the Royal Guard Flash Sentry to do is jump on a rake and go away. Which isn't fair, considering he probably had no influence over any parallel selves he may have. Not that it detracts from how hilarious it would be to torment him. I've been looking for a target who is qualified And so we think things would be great if only he died I've an OC Twilight could be datin' instead So for our shipfic he ought to be dead So if you feel it, let me know, know, know Come on now, what you waiting for, for, for? My fanfic's ready to explode, explode, explode So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go Cos he's just generic and stuff, if you know what I mean He's a one-off character who's barely seen Can you handle the rage? Will he die for your ship? If he will, baby boy, then he'll have a nice trip Straight down seven flights of stairs in 3.5 Sentry, you're loved by none Now shut up and die, die, die Shut up and die, die, die In the world of fanfics almost no-one is straight Why should we stop with Twilight? Cos it's probably too late He looks like he was made from the blandest of parts Cos he's not got personality, he got no heart So if you feel it, let me know, know, know Come on now, what you waiting for, for, for? My fanfic's ready to explode, explode, explode So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go Cos he's just a big plot device, if you know what I mean He's a one-off character, so we're not keen Can you handle the rage? Will he die for your ship? If he will, baby boy, then he'll have a nice trip In a large vat of batter in 3.5 Sentry, you're loved by none Now shut up and die, die, die Shut up and die, die, die I'm just saying it's what I see Bought it, bought it, saw it, on the TV There was Flash Sentry, barring us entry He's getting all chummy, I died inside And cried, cried, cried So if you feel it, let me know, know, know Come on now, what you waiting for, for, for? My fanfic's ready to explode, explode, explode So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go Cos he's just a flat character, if you know what I mean He's the perfect excuse for us all to get mean Can you handle the rage? Will he die for your ship? If he will, baby boy, then he'll have a nice trip Down a sixty-foot deep well in 3.5 Sentry, you're loved by none Now shut up and die, die, die Shut up and die, die, die Shut up and die, die, die Shut up and die, die, die 171. Gonna Blind You(Note: Sung to the tune of Camp Rock's "Gotta Find You") Sung by Twilight Sparkle Always remember to close your eye when you get to the 'stick a cupcake in my eye' bit of a Pinkie Promise. Twilight sometimes forgets that, before being painfully reminded. She wonders if maybe for safety purposes it ought to be revised. Every time I make a Pinkie Promise swear... And go through all the motions as you do, I think it's somewhat hazardous to any mare To poke out their own eye, I swear it's true! I need to remember to stop my hoof Or just close that eye, you goof... Cos the first few steps' easy enough But make sure your hoof holds back Before it blinds you It's gonna blind you I'm still missing all my sight I have but one good eye Pinkie Swears blind you It's gonna blind you Oh yeah, yeah yeah I recall somepony made the promise twice But didn't think to close up either eye And so for the whole day, patches over both eyes She couldn't take them off until that night! She needs to remember to stop my hoof Or just close that eye, that goof... Cos the first few steps' easy enough But make sure your hoof holds back Before it blinds you It's gonna blind you I'm still missing all my sight I have but one good eye Pinkie Swears blind you It's gonna blind you Oh yeah, yeah yeah Been saying "cross my heart and hope to fly" The last bit makes the newbies want to cry As they poke themselves right where it stings That's gotta hurt... you poor old thing Oh! Before it blinds you...Yeah Cos the first few steps' easy enough But make sure your hoof holds back Before it blinds you It's gonna blind you Yeah yeah! I'm still missing all my sight I have but one good eye Pinkie Swears blind you It's gonna blind you Cos the first few steps' easy enough But make sure your hoof holds back Before it blinds you It's gonna blind you I'm still missing all my sight I have but one good eye Pinkie Swears blind you It's gonna blind you Yeah! Yeah! It's gonna blind you... Author's Note As requested by lalamelody2019. 173. I Will Go Failing No More(Note: Sung to the tune of Toy Story's "I Will Go Sailing No More") Sung by Button Mash He just wanted to finally conquer that Celestia-blasted boss. Was that so much to ask? Button Mash couldn't understand what was wrong with what he was doing. It was supposed to be flawless, and yet... I got to the Air-Pony boss, But I always die Tossing tornadoes a lot He's a pain in my flank, no lie! So I try to go get behind him, Still, I hit the floor But I will go failing no more! I shoot as fast as I can, Reaction time's too slow Result's always constant, My lives stripped off row by row If I had that Item Two, I would breeze right through this floor! But I will go failing no more! But no, it can't be true! Got his health whittled down to two, And I feel I should cry, I then got nicked in the side, And I died! Clearly, I will be failing some more... Author's Note ...Yes, references to THAT song was intentional. 175. One Pass(Note: Sung to the tune of Snow White And The Seven Dwarves's "One Song") Sung by Twilight Sparkle When Princess Celestia sent Twilight Sparkle an invitation to the Grand Galloping Gala, she sent two tickets: one ticket each for herself and a VIP. Twilight found it very puzzling. Surely Princess Celestia couldn't have forgotten that she had 5 friends...and Spike. So the question was, who was most deserving to go to the Gala with her? One pass I have but one pass One pass To Canterlot One friend To take to the Gala Whom would I rather Fill up the slot? One pass What had possessed her To send Not seven, but two? One pass My heart keeps singing Of one pass Only for who? 176. Most Discouraging Thing(Note: Sung to the tune of The Sword In The Stone's "Most Befuddling Thing") Sung by Pinkie Pie Pinkie tends to say the most disheartening things at the worst possible time in the worst possible place. That's probably why Twilight actively discourages Pinkie from being a therapist as a career choice. I can't help but feel, right here and now I say most discouraging things When you need a motivating vow I just leave you crying and shaking... Once, Fluttershy was nervous So, what'd I say and do? Crowds must have left her shaking And she sounded like a dude Another time somepony was sad She said she'd destroy all the work she had And I said the wrong thing right there "Just try it, you gutless mare!" It's a most discouraging, most discouraging thing I can't but feel that partially That it might be me being harsh-ly It's a hope-abandoning Most dismembering Most dismantling Most disheartening Most disconcerting Most discouraging Thing! 177. With A Few Good Shots(Note: Sung to the tune of Piglet's Big Movie's "With A Few Good Friends") Sung by Twilight Sparkle With all of the Pinkie clones finally rounded up, all that was left was to see who would have the most sense to hold their attention. In other words, who was the real Pinkie and not a single-minded clone. Twilight readied her horn to zap the clones back to the Mirror Pool, and watched. With a few good shots and a mind so cool, We're sending the clones to the Mirror Pool With a flash and a zap or three or four, Until there's no Pinkie horde anymore That one just dozed off Zap, and you're fried That one pulled a face Charge up, let it fly With a few good shots and a mind so clear, We're sending the clones right on outta here With a flash and a zap or three or four, I'm hitting the ones who are clearly bored Out you go The paint's still wet That a yawn I see? Guess what you get! With a few good shots and a steady eye, I have now made all the clones of Pinkie fry With a flash and a zap or three or four, There's only one left still sitting on the floor 179. A Mare's Bad Dreams(Note: Sung to the tune of Mary Poppins's "A Man Has Dreams") Sung by Princess Luna For as long as she had been Princess of the Night, Luna had visited the dreams of her subjects, interpreting what they saw as visions of a possible future. Before she learnt to be a little more gentle and encouraging in trying to avert the bad ones, Princess Luna tended to be extremely blunt and frank. Which, while effective, was extremely traumatizing for the sleeping ponies. A mare's bad dream of falling from windows To swat a fly from the property she owns Before the mare can catch herself She takes a fall off the shelf And that's what will come to pass The longer she hates insects I scared her straight by showing her her bones Please wash your hooves, otherwise, if you're hurt You touch a bad wound (sorry if you're bereft) And now your limb's high functions go with one fell blow An amputation's all that's left A moment of neglect, that is all it takes To crush your life forever due to one mistake A moment of neglect goes a long, long way 'Part from that, you're golden. Have a lovely day! Please don't photocopy your flank And do not even think 'bout stapling it to your boss's face Your life will end up down the sink You'll crash into obscurity Poverty's near too Because you see, I always know What you would do You're gonna grind, grind, grind At that grindstone If you don't study now while you can Stop bullying those blank-flanks Or you'll contract Bad ebola, karma's the man Just that moment of clarity To 'elp the bitter pill go down The bitter pill go down, the bitter pill go down Author's Note Also, don't write Mary Sues or your writing hand will explode in fire and blood. G'night. 180. Tom Dan, He Is Another Rock 180. Tom Dan, He Is Another Rock (Note: Sung to the tune of The Rescuers's "Tomorrow Is Another Day") Sung by Applejack Rarity thought that they agreed to never speak of 'it' again. Applejack knew she was the only one who promised that. And she had a lot of fun annoying Rarity until it was time for the final showdown with Discord. Tom the rock Ya hauled a giant boulder Right over yer own shouder Tom the rock Sing a song When ya thought it was a diamond Ya hoarded like a tyrant Sing a song Is it wrong To like it like a comet To put a ring right on it? Is it wrong? To be conned To think Tom Dan was so precious That he's too valuable to mentions Is to be conned We'll catch the grey mare With Twilight's flyin' balloon And we'll clear the cloudy skies The same way Tom deceived your eyes Betcha bits Just admit Ya wouldn't let it wander And Ah was like "Why dont'cha MARRY it?" He's a rock 'Cause he's no diamond, really Now that y'all can see clearly He's a rock Tom Dan, he is another rock Diamonds? What a load o' crock! 181. Tastes Like Feet(Note: Sung to the tune of Brother Bear 2's "Feels Like Home") Sung by Spike Baked Bads have a rather unique taste. It is therefore rather difficult to explain, but Spike was certainly going to give it a try. Learning how to judge again What baked bads are like Knowing I can taste the things Goin' in the mouth of Spike I sense a hint of worms inside Corn chips, kinda dried And what I didn't know I want in life Like powdered grit and weeds So many things I've been eating Not sure but It's not entirely bad Now I realize Please don't ask where I learnt The taste of juice that's burnt Or soda eight years old Now I realize Gangrene and stomach gas Spoiled food and wilted grass With a twist of spoiled food and dirty laundry And this tastes like feet Feet, feet Tastes just like feet Tastes just like feet The aftertaste, like despair calling With nihilistic loathing falling (I remember standing downwind of an art snob) Of an art snob Now I realize Tastes just like feet Tastes just like feet It tastes just like feet Tastes just like feet Tastes like feet Now I realize Please don't ask where I learnt The taste of juice that's burnt Or soda eight years old Now I realize Gangrene and stomach gas Spoiled food and wilted grass With a twist of spoiled food and dirty laundry And this tastes like feet This tastes like feet Feet, feet Tastes just like feet Tastes just like feet 182. The Three S's(Note: Sung to the tune of Schoolhouse Rock! Earth's "The Three R's") Sung by Gilda Contrary to what you may think, Gilda the griffin does not actually discriminate against ponies. She hates them, yes, but only because she seems to hate everyone. It's just that she hates them more. I, I, I hate you lame-os I, I, I hate you lame-os I, I, I hate you lame-o ponies I cannot take your dullness No, I can't You're a bunch of losers Because two times six is twelve Twelve add seven is nineteen And the nineteenth letter in the alphabet is S I got three S's I'm gonna talk about today You gotta learn to Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That I was going to the market on edge of town Bumped into Nervous Wreck Yellow Crybaby Face You gotta learn to sit down Are all of you dweebs just that sensitive? Minding everyone in sight, that just ain't no way to live Shut up You gotta learn to shut up If the two S's don't work out Stop featherin' crying your eyes out Just stop that You gotta learn to just stop that! You gotta learn to Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Cause I! cannot stomach babies Oh no I can't! I hate you lame-o ponies! See! See! 3,6,9,12,18,21,24,27,30,33,36, 33,30,27,24,21,18,12,9,6,3! Break a leg. I mean it Go for it Break a leg. I mean it Gotta learn Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That I hate you lame-o ponies 185. Very Questionable Advice(Note: Sung to the tune of Alice In Wonderland's "Very Good Advice") Sung by Diamond Tiara At the last Summer Wrap Up Festival, Diamond Tiara ran an advice booth. For a few bits, she offered advice on everything, from relationships, to money, to everything in between. The brilliance of the whole scheme was that no matter the result, they still paid, so they advice didn't even have to be good. Or at least, that was what the more cynical would believe. The truth was simpler. And also more embarrassing. She didn't realize it was bad. I give you all very good advice So for some bits I say what I mean Always type in Comic Sans for everything Impatience, is very good advice Just never accept criticism Don't make any change Should someone say you stink Well, babies ALWAYS save relationships YOU SHOULD ALWAYS TYPE IN CAPITALS IT GETS POINTS ACROSS LIKE NO OTHER WAY Someday...someday I give you all very good advice So for some bits I say what I mean Will you ever learn to do the things you should? Will you ever learn to do the things you should? Author's Note ...I would have used the Fluttershy meme but she'd probably never do that so here we are. 186. Your Funny Hat And Me(Note: Sung to the tune of The Emperor's New Groove's "My Funny Friend And Me") Sung by Twilight Sparkle Applejack grumbled. Making their way through life in the alternate Equestria was already hard enough. And then THIS happened; the seven of them were thrown in a dungeon. "Ya just had to make fun of their helmets, didn't ya? They were probably gonna just give us a slap on the hoof until ya mentioned the helmets." "What?" protested Twilight. "I was making an observation! It is a funny hat!" In the darkest hour of reckoning When the guards assume positions And this world's Sombra gives orders To the Royal Inquisition To the guards who wear the strangest things there Helmets that look like Sombra King Though they were kind to me, yet they reminded me That they looked absurdly comic And in hindsight it was stupid And when a new world needs protecting Though its residents are putrid I insulted a guard there And the whole world I know was upside down And now the guards are hacked Right off, they're coming back You see the helmets on their big heads If looks could kill then I would be quite dead Observe the helmets on their big heads I was just being honest with what I said There's less tacky things to wear instead What a predicament in which to be! But that unusual thing called your funny hat and me! I'm not as civil as I thought I was And I think I regret what I said because We wound up in a dungeon We wound up in the clink And it is all because I told a guard exactly what I think And Applejack's not pleased with me We could have all been let go with just slaps to the knee And we could've made it through Curse your funny hat and me! You see the helmets on their big heads, yeah, yeah, yeah If looks could kill then I would be quite dead That stupid helmet as a stallion's cap I don't know whether if it's all a trap Just like the helmets on their big heads, I look quite foolish We're all imprisoned 'till the end this time, (don't know, you don't know) I wish I had just stayed at home in bed, (we'll stick together) We're all imprisoned 'till the day we die If I had to do this all a second time I won't complain or make a fuss 'Bout what? You know that! I won't mention in chat 'Bout those strange funny hats Not us! Author's Note Based on the comics 187. Good Comedy(Note: Sung to the tune of Oliver And Company's "Good Company") Sung by Pinkie Pie How do you stop two small foals from crying when you're babysitting? Well, Pinkie tried a few things, one of which was a comedy act. "Hey, you're a wonderful crowd here tonight! Where y'all from?" asked Pinkie, putting a mike to them. They didn't answer, but Pinkie carried on anyway. "Wow, that's great." My tree died, got 'nother like it, see Now I got TWO dead trees I'm trying to make good comedy, You from me Yes, the cold-air balloon Didn't take off that soon... To you two from me I'm trying to make good comedy, You and me Yes, tonight the show's free! Start the day with a smile, I say Get it over with, see! I'm trying to make good comedy, You and me Just wait and see There was a short pause, and then Pumpkin and Pound burst into tears again. "Wow. Tough crowd," Pinkie remarked. Author's Note Sir Alexander Graham Ben got the first wrong telephone call. 189. Exploit It(Note: Sung to the tune of In Search Of The Castaways's "Enjoy It") Sung by Sunset Shimmer The world of humans was admittedly rather disconcerting to Sunset Shimmer when she first escaped from Equestria, but she wasn't Princess Celestia's ex-student for nothing. All she had to do was liken Canterlot High to a slightly better funded prison, adapt accordingly, and she had it made. Until that Twilight Sparkle came along, anyway. Why cry about dumb teachers? Exploit it! Take note of handy features, exploit it! I'm a student here at Canterlot High, playing the fools Don't let a chance go trot by, here at high school The student council's lazy? Exploit it! My craftiness is crazy, employ it! I climb the social hierarchy, Start my reign in one two three, Voila, that’s life, exploit it! I get passes out of gym class, I’ll exploit it! I start fights in the library, I enjoy it! Jocks v Nerds, on their turf? Enjoy the brawl! The adults and the freshmen? Exploit them all! There’s a photo editor, exploit it! And the school head just hit her, enjoy it! Coming up is the school formal, Why I will just dwarf 'em all! Voila, that’s right, exploit it! Pass the buck to timid freshmen? Exploit it! Do you know some stupid yes-men? Exploit it! I'm a student here at Canterlot High, playing the fools Don't let a chance go trot by, here at high school A fire alarm is nearby? Exploit it! There's too much noise to hear by, exploit it! Oh yes the school is one big game, Work with dorks and dunces lame, Voila, that’s life, exploit it! Author's Note As requested by deathtap. 190. Grumps(Note: Sung to the tune of Sleeping Beauty's "Skumps") Sung by Pinkie Pie Funny how Pinkie seems to be attracted to individuals who's personality couldn't be any more different than hers. Or maybe they're attracted to her... Pinkie remembers two of the grouchiest individuals she's met, and her opinion of them when all was said and done. Grumps! Grumps! Grumps! Like Cranky Don-kay! He's bald and was grouchy, But at end of the day, Once he found his girlfriend, he turned out okay! Grumps! Grumps! Grumps! Grumps! Grumps! Like Gilda griffon! There is no soft centre, Only hate by the ton! Meanie among meanies, that half-bird is no fun! Grumps! Grumps! Grumps! 192. How To Be A Brony (Guest Submission by Sky Blue CMC)(Note: Sung to the tune of The Tigger Movie's "How To Be A Tigger") Sung by you...um...if that's alright with you... How to be a Brony How to be a Brony How to be a Brony is up to you Ah, you've got to look like a Brony And sound like a Brony? And act like a Brony too If we paint pink stripes on our underwear And glue on horse ears too We're bound to appear far more as Bronies do (Unquestionably) Maybe we could all say "Spike the Dragon" And shout "Hoo-hoo-hoo-hooooo!" We all might sound a lot more Bronyish too Ha-ha, ya think? And that is how to be a Brony How to be a Brony How to be a Brony is up to you You've got to look like a Brony And sound like a Brony And act like a Brony too If we break things up and knock things down And leave the place a mess That's the thing that Bronies do the best (I ought to know) And if I don't eat honey From the honey pot Ol' Bronies will plainly see I must be another Brony because I couldn't possibly be me And that is how to be a Brony How to be a Brony How to be a Brony is up to you You've go to look like a Brony And sound like a Brony And act like a Brony, um, also Um, if we could all be happy Full of friendliness and cheer He'll surely see we are his family! Ah, we're filled with joy and laughter And the happiness he starts And feel it from the bottom of our hearts And that is how to be a Brony How to be a Brony How to be a Brony is up to you You've got to think like a Brony Wearing pink like a Brony With a happy hoo-hoo-hoo How to be a Brony How to be a Brony How to be a Brony is up to you You've gotta think like a Brony Wearing pink like a Brony With a happy hoo-hoo-hoo-hooooo Author's Note I'm more partial to a fetching shade of grey, myself. 194. Falling Off Ya(Note: Sung to the tune of Teen Beach Movie's "Falling For Ya") Sung by Spike "Cutie Pox," Twilight read aloud from Perplexing Pony Plagues, over the sounds of Applebloom's uncontrollable tap-dancing. "This puzzling pony plague afflicted a population of ponies back in the paleopony period!" "Say THAT ten times fast!" Spike smiled. Un-amused, Twilight kicked Spike off her back and continued to read. The day started ordinary Me and the books (Oohh Oohh) It was the same old story But then outside I looks (Oohh Oohh) I'm not the type To grouch and to gripe 'Bout somepony's ills (It takes extra skill) I just laugh instead At the other's expense (Take a cheap shot at that text) And now I'm falling off ya Falling off ya I know I shouldn't but I I just can't stop myself from Making remarks Falling off ya I still think it was worth it And now I'm falling off you Now I'm lying dizzy Crashed into a shelf (That hurt) Started off so busy Now I hurt myself (Oohh Oohh) Twi's not the kind To goof 'round and find My words ring of truth (When trouble's ahoof) And although my head Feels like two tons of lead (I regret nothing, I said) And now I'm falling off ya Falling off ya I know I shouldn't but I I just can't stop myself from Making remarks Making remarks Can't button my big mouth shut And now I'm falling off you Feels like I tumbled From another world Into that wall But it's true, you know I know you'll stumble But I know for sure Can't say that fast Too many p's to unfurl (Aaaaaaaahhh) And now I'm falling off ya Falling off ya I know I shouldn't but I I just can't stop myself from Making remarks Making remarks Can't button my big mouth shut And now I'm falling off you 195. The Gift Of Bruises So Long(Note: Sung to the tune of Sleeping Beauty's "The Gift Of Beauty And Song") Sung by Mr. Cake Mr Cake could read all of the parenting books that he wanted, but none of them ever taught him how to deal with a screaming wife, threatening to get off the hospital bed and strangle him. The worst part was that since it was twins, it would be twice as painful for all involved. One punch, pain received, Having a foal's hard indeed, Pinkie's just learnt four new words, Longest stream of swears that I've ever heard! One kick, she's on the assault Screaming how it's all my fault! I think I'll just get out her way... Or else I'll be nursing bruises all day! 197. Blah Blah BlahNote: Sung to the tune of Lady And The Tramp's "La La Lu" Sung by Twilight Sparkle and Trixie "Look!" Lyra cried, pointing her hoof at Twilight. "I think something exciting is happening!" Blah blah blah, magic blah! Oh, yap yap something something I'll make it clearer to you Blah blah blah, amulet blah. Mumble mumble yap something Here comes my revenge on you Blah blah blah, no mouth blah? Mumble mumble no deal Loser leaves town and stays out!? Blah blah blah, time to duel blah!!!! And may the strongest win this! Blah blah blah, Blah blah blah, Blah blah blah! "Oops, my mistake." Lyra remarked, and turned back to her smoothie. Author's Note As requested by deathtap. Guess what ELSE I've been watching recently? Smoothie Lyra still don't care. 199. Almost There (Until The 200th Chapter)(Note: Sung to the tune of The Princess And The Frog's "Almost There") Sung by Brony_of_Brody Sweet Celestia, has it really been 199 chapters? Readers! I don't have time for writing! That's just gonna have to wait a while Ain't got time for messing around Gotta climb some stiles This old crock has writer's block And I'm taking it easy 'kay? I dunno exactly when I'll be back But I WILL return somehow, someday But I'm almost there, I'm almost there Rarity, AJ, Twi, Pinkie, and other mares The two-hundredth chapter, I'll write my share Even real obligations won't stop me cause I'm almost there I remember something told me: "Parodies are funny You gotta write 'em somehow, make 'em light and sunny" So I worked real hard each and every night Even though a few were kinda sh- alright Just doing what I do Fimfiction, I'm coming through! Well, I'm almost there, I'm almost there Not on Equestria Daily anywhere But I'm almost there, I'm almost there I just need a decent song list, Til I restart, it's fair But I've worn the keyboard, I've checked the comments, And I'm almost there, I'm almost there, I'm almost there! Author's Note As requested by Le_DragonBroneE. I'm going to be frank: next chapter will be the 200th. After that, I will be putting this fanfic on hiatus until more information regarding Season 5 and the Rainbow Rocks movie comes out. Or until I can get back into the swing of things and actually have a decent list of songs to use, whichever is sooner. There's also the fact that life at the moment isn't affording too many breaks for me, and so I would like to get those out the way before I start again. However, I HAVE songs I know that I can use (and have tentative titles for), so I certainly don't plan on letting this die without a decent wrap-up. I just need time to get new ideas together, that's all. So Season 5 needs to hurry up like seriously. So thanks a bunch for all those who stopped by to thumb me up, fave or comment, you guys are ace. 200. The 200th Chapter Wrap-Up...(until life's calmed down a little)Hello, and welcome to the 200th Chapter! So ShadowLDrago suggested I use this chapter to write about my top 10 Villain Song parodies to celebrate this milestone. I guess I could do that. I'm joined today by Time Turner, as co-host for the event. And before you ask, no, I didn't ponynap him. "What ACTUALLY happened was that I was hacked off about not even getting ONE song about me in 200 chapters and so I decided to do something about it!" And I explained to him that plenty of others like Colgate and Cloud Kicker didn't get one either, but he wouldn't listen...so he crashed into my attic in some blue box out of spite. "It wasn't SPITE," Time Turner scoffed. "It was a calculated act of revenge. Spite implies that I was the one at fault first." ...Right. But regardless, I will soldier on. Let's start the countdown, shall we? And so, my top ten songs sung about a villain or by a villain ARE... 10. Chapter 46: Don't Like Me I wrote this one after someone suggested Friend Like Me. It was actually meant to be about Princess Celestia at first, but if the other songs are anything to go by, you should know I don't touch similar situations with a 100 foot pole. And so after spending about 10 minutes thinking of a rhyme for friend, I said "forget this" and decided to write about somepony nopony seemed to like very much. "Me?" Time Turner asked. "You haven't written about me, ever!" No, of course n...I meant in their own universe. "...Oh." I think it fitted quite well, myself. I wrote another Aladdin song about Blueblood before and felt this was a fitting prequel. 9. Chapter 14: We Multiply I didn't intend to do this one. I mean, how many rhymes for lullaby ARE there? "I actually know several million civilizations whose languages have an EXACT rhyme!" Time Turner piped up. Stop competing, I don't KNOW several million civilizations. "Homework for you, then." Shut up. But regardless, I'm proud of how this turned out. I felt the rhymes were pretty natural, and I was actually (for once) able to adhere to someone's submitted scenario. I think I've only ever done that like twice...? "Because you only spend like half an hour at most on every song!" Time Turner pointed out. I don't have all the time in the world, unlike you, smart-flank! 8. Chapter 64: Button In keeping with tradition, I made this song about mocking somepony. I thought about simply leaving it until I could find somepony to sarcastically praise, but I didn't think it would be funny enough. It was hard at first, since I couldn't think of anypony in canon who achieved the status of universal chew-toy. "So you took somepony who only ever got expanded on in a fan-animation and ran with it." It seemed acceptable; that's his most popular portrayal and so it was fine. "Speaking of universal chew-toys," Time Turner mused, "I once came across a being who was literally chewing ON the universe itself. It was terrible. My best suit ruined." How? "Don't ever ask how, it spoils things. Like a magician's trick." 7. Chapter 72: Ol' Ms Harshwhinny Not one of my faves myself, but it was very popular with commentors. It seems despite the awkward sounds it was well-liked and apparently funny, so at least there's that. "I heard you were going to set it in one of the human worlds since she's a teacher at a school called MRS Harshwhinny," Time Turner remarked, scratching his chin with his hoof. I did, yes, but I didn't know enough about that version and it seemed like too much work just to make it sound better. At least I used a title someone suggested when making the request so I can't be blamed. 6. Chapter 31: The Brony King In Media I swear to Celestia the original song was ABOUT a villain. I don't think Sethisto or Equestria Daily in general are villains. "Outwardly, perhaps. You didn't get featured." Unfortunately not. This one brings back memories though; it was the first song I wrote that was intended to be sung by the reader and the reader alone. I had fun writing it; I do enjoy tributes. Like the Crackle one that would come many chapters later. "You wrote a song about a one-off character but not about me." Because you're not enough of a...dark horse. ...Time Turner just punched me. 5. Chapter 109: Yes, My Plot Is "A TV show song?" Time Turner asked. Not just a TV song; a TV song with a word so unrhyme-able that I was intending to just leave the stupid thing. BUT THEN, by a stroke of inspiration, I realized all I had to do was pull a Chapter 17 and turn the word into a phrase. "Really?" Time Turner said incredulously. "You couldn't think of a subject other than somepony's butt?" I still don't regret anything. I said it in the notes and it still holds true. "Pervert." Shut up. I enjoy this one because of the sense of achievement in fulfilling a really difficult request. And also because the one who requested it pitched so many ideas to me to get me this far. "Did the repeat requests not bother you?" Time Turner asked. Not really, a comment's a comment. "You are so lonely." Hello pot, I'm kettle. Have we met? 4. Chapter 165: (Monitor) Every Little Piece I cheated slightly on this one. I inserted a word into the title just to get a completely different scenario to the original. Come to think of it, I may do it more often. "You just DID. Last chapter. Literally," Time Turner pointed out. Because it was appropriate? But anyway, I rank this where it is because I like to write about ponies doing really dumb things. Or say something off-hoof that everypony picks up on. And I thought it turned out okay. "You could have made it about me, you know," Time Turned scowled. "I monitor what's going on too!" No-one ever sees you, though. "But you KNOW..." Not in established canon! The best we have is your trading card! And it would be more about your other appearances in that other show anyway. "Has that ever stopped you?" When no-one writes about you as anything other than a guy from another planet? Yes! Seriously, make normal Time Turner a trend, folks! 3. Chapter 81: Mishap Off Sandy Shores This was another "how am I gonna make a rhyming parody" request. "You responded to it admirably though, admittedly," Time Turner remarked. "By next chapter, you had it." Well, it was just lucky that 'sandy' correlates with an event I know. It was sort of like the Circle of Life parody in that I spent time looking for something that rhymed with 'kidnap' before realizing what the obvious solution was. I liked this one, largely because it was canon, which I prefer to write about (or at least canon enough), but also because narration stories are some of my favorites to do. Also, because pirates. "Heck yeah pirates," Time Turner nodded. 2. Chapter 188: Whine, Whine, Whine This one was a case of having the title, but not wanting to submit it. This was because four score and twenty chapters ago... "It was one hundred and seventy chapters ago, actually," Time Turner sighed. FOUR SCORE AND TWENTY CHAPTERS AGO, I wrote about a similar situation. I really only wrote this one out of sheer lack of other ideas at the time. "Well, it was TECHNICALLY different," Time Turner remarked. "One about the events in the present, and one about the aftermath." Yeah, that was sort of a consolation. But even so, I did have a ton of fun writing it, because imagining Rarity screech-singing would be funny, and also because the title made so. Much. Sense. It fitted so neatly I couldn't ignore it anymore and started typing. And the number one villain song parody is... 1. Chapter 84: Lie On Lie This, for me, was what took the top spot. I was told it was cleverly written, I was able to write about somepony I had never used before (who had technically been turned into a villain), and I had a lot of fun going nuts about writing several outlandish things to tell people. "You stole a lot of them, didn't you?" Time Turner accused, pointing a hoof at me. Because the guy who wrote them was a genius and I was stuck for anything funnier, okay? "Can I point out that one of them was not actually a lie?" the brown Earth Pony asked. What wasn't? "I HAVE started a fire by rubbing the heads of two red-maned ponies together once." WHAT. "You would be surprised at the friction necessary to start the fire," Time Turner nodded. "It's how I managed to distract The Smooze long enough to escape." I don't even...how did you do that? "Oh, I just used my magic to speed my movements up," he replied off-hoofedly. "Don't try it yourself though, it hurts. For all parties involved." I can imagine. - Well, that's that. All that remains is for me to thank my loyal readers... "And promise to write a song about me someday!" Time Turner loudly reminded me. ...Possibly, and to wrap this up with one final song before I start to remove Time Turner's blue box from my roof.. Aaaaaaaaaaand as a special treat for the peoples who stuck with me and actually read and commented, I present...the song that started it all (and was requested so often by readers), cleaned up by me. (So I can't be credited for writing the ENTIRE parody) So here. You deserve it. Angel Bunny's Hellfire (Note: Sung to the tune of The Hunchback Of Notre Dame's "Hellfire") Interpretive Dance by Angel Bunny Princess Celestia, you know I am a cuddly guy Of my fuzziness I'm justly proud Princess Celestia, I'm huggable and you know why I'm cuter than the tortoise and the owl! Then tell me, Celestia, why she won't make my food nice, Why my special salad's but a dream! I feel it, I see it, the cherry and the orange slice, The watercress and toppings of whipped cream! Like FIRE! Hellfire! This fire in my skin! This burning desire is turning me to sin! It's not my fault I'm not to blame It is the pegasus who makes my food so lame! It's not my fault If in your plan You feed me cauliflower, broccoli and flaaaaaaaan! Protect me, Celestia, from eating all that junk as well, Don't let that garbage sear my flesh and bone! Destroy her, Celestia, and let her taste the fires of hell, Unless she makes this salad like I've shown! Hellfire, dark fire! Now pegasus, it's your turn! It's down to the wire...make it or you will burn! Celestia have mercy on her... Celestia have mercy on me... But I'll have my lunch or she Will BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN! Author's Note ...Whew. Well that's that. However, it isn't QUITE the end. I won't be updating this anymore, but I WILL continue to write for the upcoming sequel (yeah, it has to be, scrolling through two-hundred's a pain in the flank). I'll take it off the ground when life stops being evil and I have enough songs to maintain one every day as usual. I'll post the link when I have it up. So again, thanks to all of you who let me know what you thought even if it was a thumbs down! And see you at the sequel! We Have A Very Important Message(Note: Sung to the tune of Muppets Most Wanted's "We're Doing A Sequel") NO NO THAT'S WAY TOO OBVIOUS Ahem. Sequel's up. 96. The Lack of Rhythm(Note: Sung to the tune of The Jungle Book 2's "The Jungle Rhythm") Sung by Spike Twilight Sparkle cannot dance. Spike has known this for a while, and he has made every attempt to try and hide it. Unfortunately, Twilight’s extreme lack of musical sense has since made manifest at one of the many parties Rarity has attended (it was a high-brow event, to add onto the embarrassment), at the Royal Wedding, in another world’s dance event… So Twilight Sparkle has next to no dance skills And you may want to avert your eyes When you see (see what?) See the lack of rhythm Those hooves are tap-tap-tappin' the dance floor Her moves cause all who watch to cry Plain as day It’s the lack of rhythm Now she’s like an elephant out in the jungle But it never hits her heart First she feels that beat start Bubbling under Then both her two left legs Start to blunder (It’s shaming me!) Or she’s wooden as a tree When she dances Watch the lack of rhythm Watch the lack of rhythm (Come on, Twilight!) Can't do without rhythm And when it fills the air Noblefolk everywhere Would rather leave I’ll come along with 'em I can’t watch anymore She'll stomp her hooves! Out of synch! Stick to writing, I should think! Oh boy…! That’s not it! Uh ha, uh ha! Check out those chat-chat-chattering ponies Quietly making themselves scarce They can’t take (they can’t take) All the lack of rhythm Looks like a pony spasming wildly Silence all those harmonies I can’t take (I can’t take) All the lack of rhythm Yeah! That's it! Now she’s like an elephant out in the jungle But it never hits her heart First she feels that beat start Bubbling under Then both her two left legs Start to blunder (It’s shaming me!) Or she’s wooden as a tree When I feel (When I feel) When she dances (When she dances) (When she dances) (When she dances) Watch the lack of rhythmmmm (x5) Author's Note Four... 73. Whatever The Box May Be(Note: Sung to the tune of Home On The Range's "Wherever The Trail May Lead") Sung by Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie When Twilight and her friends returned the Elements of Harmony back to their resting place, the Tree of Harmony, it then offered up a box, with six keyholes, and yet no keys whatsoever. Speculation was rife as to what was inside, particularly amongst Twilight and Pinkie. Twilight thought it had something to do with their upcoming destiny. Pinkie thought once it was open, it would be a great box for presents. From the tree, a small locked chest Six keys used to pass this test, Who knows where they are? But what I just want to know is, What it’s got inside to show is Needing to be on par. Maybe there’s candy inside, A pony called Jack, or three? But I promise you, I'll solve this too, Whatever the box may be. It may house some ancient magic, Or it seals up something tragic Locked inside the cube... Or it might have pirate treasure, Gold and gems, or for good measure, A rolled up cardboard tube! Is it connected to my fate, My royal princess duty? I’d laugh if it’s just A red herring, a bust, Whatever the box may be. Caught both our attentions We’d have to wait and see, Whatever that box is trying to hide. Or it’s all like Box-ception, With total irony, A box in a box in a box inside... Or perhaps it’s totally empty, The space inside vast and free. What could it contain? Sweet riches or pain? Or nothing to offer me... I dunno, who cares? We’ll know once we’re there! Whatever the box may be. Author's Note As requested by Seanchow806Napoleonic. Also, I've hit another wall. Throw titles at me. I can take them. *Gets hit by a brick instead* 75. When You Squish My Ice-Cream Bar(Note: Sung to the tune of Pinocchio's "When You Wish Upon A Star") Sung by Pinkie Pie Pinkie Pie was walking away from Pony Joe's, holding an ice-cream bar in her hoof, when, just as she was heading back to the station to get back to Ponyville, one of those "Canterlot Snobs" as Rainbow Dash put it, knocked into Pinkie, made her drop her ice-cream bar, and stomped on it, not even apologising to Pinkie as he was hurrying off. It. Was. ON. When you squish my ice-cream bar Makes no difference who you are A big world of massive pain Will come to you Watch me plot and watch me scheme No revenge is too extreme When you squish my ice-cream bar Your life is through Fate ain’t kind You’re now at war with me Snobby-flank Vs. Pinkie I will get even Like a bolt out of the blue I’ll hunt you down and find you When you squish my ice-cream bar I am your doom Author's Note If I had a wish, I'd want more people to know that this exists so they can throw tiles at me... Or a Rainbow Dash solo song not made by the writers of MLP. 77. A Pie Like You(Note: Sung to the tune of The Hunchback Of Notre Dame's "A Guy Like You") Sung by Soarin' Pies are the best foodstuffs ever invented by mortal hooves, or so Soarin' member of the Wonderbolts, believes. It's a good thing his job works off all those calories, or Soarin' would be in trouble. Especially since even an ordinary Pegasus needs to watch their weight to even fly. Cloudsdale, the city of flyers is hopping this evening As I sit here with my pastry crust...I feel the "l'amour" Somewhere out there in the sky I'm not in for something fried And I know this lunchtime I Am hungry for A pie like you I've never known, pal A pie like you...yes, I know I eat them every day You've got a crust That's all your own, pal Could there be two like you? No way! Those other pies That I could chow down All bring a certain pleasure in my view It's a surprise From this here cloud town You bring flavour! I will savour a pie like you A pie like you Gets extra credit Because it's true, your filling's sweet and savoury too (It's Berry Bite) You bite the crust You don't forget it Despite this, still this filling's new! I have tried cake But no, it falls short Because I crave a meal more nourishing to chew This task I take Eat pies of all sorts No question of, I know I love a pie like you! Call it a pastry addiction Celestia, I feel it I want this pie, any moment I'll leave crumbs on the floor For A pie so swell A pie like you With all your wonder I crave your taste, so I won't waste a sec or two! Your flaky crust just Tears me asunder! When I want nourishment Don't need encouragement I have discovered, guy You're one heck of a pie Who wouldn't love a pie like you? You got a lot a cake has not So I've gotta love a pie like... ...you! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. Pie is better than cake. 1. When I See Tons of Pinkie Pies(Note: Sung to the tune of Dumbo's "When I See an Elephant Fly") Sung by Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, and Twilight Sparkle Twilight, Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash were talking about how Pinkie's schedule needed to be freed up; after all, not even she can appear in two places at the same time. Little did they realize she had recently paid a visit to the Mirror Pool... I saw a frozen land, Heard Octavia’s band, And seen Discord pull out his eye But I be done seen about everything When I see tons of Pinkie Pies When I see tons of Pinkie Pies I've seen them Parasprite things, Heard the CMCs sing I've seen King Sombra explode in the sky But I be done seen about everything When I see tons of Pinkie Pies I saw Big Macintosh give out his back And they tell me that love bent Chrysalis out of whack I didn't see that, I only heard Just to be sociable, well, I'll take your word I heard Rainbow saved a life, I saw someone toss their wife And I just laughed till I thought I'd die But I be done seen about everything When I see tons of Pinkie Pies But I be done seen about everything When I see tons of Pinkie Pies When I see tons of Pinkie Pies 2. Be all Dressed(Note: Sung to the tune of Beauty and the Beast's "Be Our Guest") Sung by Rarity and Rainbow Dash Rarity was in quite the state, having to design dresses for all her friends in time for the Equestria Games... Be all dressed! Be all dressed! Oh dear me, what a test Get those sequined horseshoes on there, and take care of the rest What a to-do, dressing you Why, it's such a hullabaloo Don't touch that, it's for the Gala It'll stop itching sometime after No, Applejack, that WON'T do I just can't "skip" a vital clue If you want the quality here at its best Now then Pinkie Pie You've GOT to get yourself dry! To be all dressed, Oui, all dressed Be all dressed! A sorry sight! And THAT'S not right Rainbow Dash, put down those tights Before I beat you with this seat (Something I will savour as a treat) Fluttershy, you alright? Just tell me if it's too tight And Applejack, stop that complaining Only MY whining's entertaining! No I CAN'T add that in! Red AND Purple! What a sin! You want a star map on on your outfit by request? Well, then Twilight, dear I'll see what I can do here To be all dressed. If you're stressed What constellations do YOU suggest? Be all dressed! Be all dressed! Be all dressed! Pinkie Pie, there you are! You rid yourself of all that tar! I didn't want your dirt to get over my wares Rainbow Dash, make yourself useful, I think I left the twist right by the stairs.... Twilight, I fear and dread I can't fit all NINE HUNDRED Constellations on, there's only so much room... Fluttershy, you look quite blue in the face Rainbow! Stop being lazy! NO DON'T DROP THAT! Oops-a-daisy! Getting dressed! Getting dressed! Feather's sake, I'm totally stressed! Don't think my wings fit in these things And I don't think I'm that impressed Listen up, here's your twine See, no scuffs! It's totally fine! Wait, it's "twist". That what it's called? Don't look at me like I'll get mauled! I'll just get out your hair I'll leave you to your work there... Can't I model later? I'm getting sorta pressed... What have I got to do? There's just no pleasing you! Getting dressed! Getting dressed! Getting dressed! Be all dressed Be all dressed I'm trying to make polite requests No no, Pinkie, cotton candy frills are out (She's like, possessed!) Fluttershy, if you please Let me set your mind at ease You look absolutely glowing You look perfect! Just keep going! Right, now then! One by one I declare, "Enough! I'm done!" I think tomorrow I shall polish off the rest... The Equestria Games Puts on me lots of strain Being all dressed! Being all dressed! Yes, just being all dressed! 3. Poor Unfortunate Scrolls(Note: Sung to the tune of The Little Mermaid's "Poor Unfortunate Souls") Sung by Twilight Sparkle Before Twilight Sparkle became a princess, she was Princess Celestia's protege in magic. Of course, as her student, it involved sending regular reports listing her most recent findings, using Spike's unique fire breath to send the scrolls to the Princess. Of course, when Spike wasn't concentrating, the exact destination of the scrolls tend to be...erratic. I admit that in the past I've been pedantic I'm not kidding when there shouldn't be a hitch But you'll find that nowadays I've found out all sorts of ways And in terms of my knowledge I'm rather rich (In Magic) But when Spike come down with bad indigestion He goes and burps like a dragon all possessed And dear friend, please don't laugh Though it is rather daft When the scrolls are misdirected in the mess Poor unfortunate scrolls Where do they go? My report has gone astray It has vanished in the aether Who will help me? Oh no... Those poor unfortunate scrolls So sad, so true Thesis sent across Equestria It may wind up in the sea What to do now?! Got the blues... Now it's happened once or twice Once it wound up in some ice And I'm afraid I had to keep Spike off the coals... Yes I've had the odd complaint But it's not like I try being late! With those poor unfortunate scrolls... I get myself all worked up in a lather It's Magic Kindergarten for me! I'm so sure! Oh it seems that I have erred and I know that soon the word Will spread until it comes back at my door! Princess Celestia was understanding the first time... But twice look like tardiness, you see! I have to write it all again But I must go fetch my own pen Since Spike is still looking a little green... Come on you poor unfortunate scroll Title there! Reference here! I'm a very busy pony and I haven't got all day Missing deadlines That's my fear! Those poor unfortunate scrolls It's sad but true If I want to stay a protege I've got to sent this scroll Or I'll look like such a slacker It weighs heavy on my soul Oh Spike! Oh great, you're okay now! You were like a greedy foal... Send this poor unfortunate scroll! 7. Crash Through An Old Barn Door(Note: Sung to the tune of Frozen's "Love is an Open Door") Sung by Applejack and Rainbow Dash A large, pony shaped hole has been spotted in the middle of the door of Applejack's barn. At first, the Earth Pony suspected Rainbow Dash, judging by its shape, and...well, Rainbow's previous record of accidents when trick-flying, but the Pegasus was quick to rebuff her accusations... Okay, can I speak in my defense? If yah can, yeah. First of all why would I fly so low down on the ground Low enough to crash straight through this door? Ah was gonna ask YOU that! ‘Cause like, If yah look real closely, yah see what looks like wings Or maybe it belongs to somepony else other than yours! Look, AJ... Rainbow Dash... It can't be me... I think I see... It's clear to see what made this mess before And crash through an old barn door! Crash through an old barn door! Crash through an old barn door! I'll prove it! Can yah? Easy! Show me! Crash through an old barn door The hole's the wrong shape... What? My wings aren't solid— What's that mean? Lemme finish what I say! --enough to make a hole-- In the middle o' solid wood! There, you see! This damage proliferation Can have but one explanation This-- Was-- The work-- Of-- The CMC! What the heck... What the heck... Could have caused all of this To leave such wood splinters on the floor? And crash through an old barn door!! Crash through an old barn door!! Have they recently borrowed a saw? They did! Really?!! Last week!!! Oh, crud!!!! Crash through an old barn door... Can ah just say, Applebloom's in fer a hidin' tonight. I don't blame ya one bit, AJ! Sheesh, dude... Author's Note As requested by keam. 13. Once Upon a Time in Canterlot City(Note: Sung to the tune of Oliver and Company's "Once Upon a Time in New York City") Sung by Twilight Sparkle It is probably no secret that pretty much any formal event involving the Bearers of Harmony turns out to be an absolute zoo. One such event in which most of the population of Equestria was invited to quickly degenerated into an invasion from parasitic life-forms AND their ruler, before it came to an end by "blowing 'em up with love" according to one eyewitness statement. Now it's always once upon a time In Canterlot City It's a big old, ancient, tough old town, it's true But beginnings are contagious there They're always setting stages there They're always turning pages there for you Ain't it great the way it all began in Canterlot City? I got invited to a wedding with my friends Nopony cared about me yesterday I got a dungeon cell coming my way Got thrown into a cave with turns and bends I felt like that I could cry But then who should I spot? Why, The fake Princess Cadence lied The real one's with me We bust out our jail To Canterlot we hightail Once upon a time in Canterlot City So we storm back to the wedding In Canterlot City We reveal the bride right now has Swiss Cheese Legs! How could anyone stay starry eyed When the Changeling Army's right outside And we have to take the intruders down some pegs? Everypony, don't be scared Though honestly no one cared We six were the ones who dared To fight the army Pinkie has some fun Crank my tail, I'm a Gatling gun Once upon a time in Canterlot City The couple were still alive We used love to help survive And blew up Chrysalis with love, yes siree! All's well that ends well, So we partied like we're under a spell Once upon a time in Canterlot City And it's always once upon a time In Canterlot City 18. We Are Done(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride's "We Are One") Sung by Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia The prospect of suddenly being responsible for the well-being of an entire nation (well, in Twilight Sparkle's case technically a small town) is rather daunting. It's made worse when you have such a low opinion of yourself, like Twilight. It had only been a few days after her coronation, and to be honest, the prospect of winging it for the whole of the way was rather daunting. It just so happened Princess Celestia was within hearing range when Twilight expressed this frustration to herself... As I sit in the library, There is so much that we Have yet to learn Can I move on from here, And go move on to be a Good ruler in turn? It's barely been a short while Since I got my wings, but I'll Carry on til my dreams come undone Will they stand by my side Filled with hope and filled with pride As I lead them to their end? We are done You heard me, you heard me We are one (2x) There's no way to summarize If what you do is wise, Sometimes I can't. But there is certainty yet, I know that you get A bigger part... If I can't do a town Am I fit to wear a crown? My journey has only begun Tears of pain, tears of joy Nightmares of peace destroyed In my eyes, I realize We are done You heard me, you heard me We are one (2x) I'm too young, how can I Break my bonds and truly fly I may never surpass Celestia's sun But I'll still do my best My friends, help me pass this test I will then know for sure We...are...done Chorus: (Done, done, done) Will it be, as I see? We are done (repeat) Author's Note As requested by Blue Sparkle 227 Also, I spent longer on this one than any other. I'm probably never doing anything this serious again. It physically exhausts me. 20. I See a Fight(Note: Sung to the tune of Tangled's "I See the Light") Sung by Twilight Sparkle and Spike It's hard trying to stick to a deadline. Even harder when you have pretty much nothing to meet the standards you're supposed to meet. So when Twilight Sparkle slowly descended into psychological chaos over having nothing to report to Princess Celestia, what's the solution? Obviously, to hit the entire town with a "Want It, Need It" spell, leading to an all-out brawl over her childhood doll, Smartypants. What could possibly go wrong? All this time fretting about deadlines All this time having no lessons learnt All that time never even knowing How to get 'em burned Now I'm here, blinking in the sunlight Now I'm here, suddenly I see I just cast a simple spell To get where I'm meant to be And at last I see a fight They all want my childhood doll And at last I see a fight They're punching each other up With the Want It, Need It blight I have material for my scroll All at once everything looks different Please don't interrupt! The town's been thrown in absolute chaos One got punched to the skies I don't think wings should bend in that way I've counted eight black eyes Will Smartypants survive the damage Wait, she's out the back... The current winner in the fighting crowd Is AJ's brother Mac! And at last I see a fight What the heck was Twilight thinking? And at last I see a fight And we don't know what to do! It's just all petty and trite And our hope is somewhat sinking This was definitely wrong now This last chance you blew This last chance we blew... Author's Note As requested by Awesomo3000 22. I Just Can't Wait For This Thing(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King's "I Just Can't Wait To Be King") Sung by Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo After the last spectacular failure in getting their cutie marks (which the residents of Ponyville now refer to as "The Second Great Fire of Equestria") The Cutie Mark Crusaders are stuck for ideas. Just then, Applebloom came up with an idea; build the most spectacular, incredible, super-problem-solving-est machine in the world. Just one question: What the heck would it actually DO? I'm gonna build a mighty thing So inventors beware You have no idea what it would DO! You've pulled this out thin air! It's gonna be a main event Like nothing was before It'll make your bed and cook your lunch And for tennis it keeps score! As long as it's not built from wood and string... Oh I just can't WAIT for this thing! It'll do a dance act It'll do the dishes It'll play you music Anything you wishes! It'll fix your things all day! Solve anything that comes your way! It sounds like it'll be a hit But where would you even start? I'd make it version 1.1 And add on different parts! You sure that it would hold up right The materials sound amiss It's wood and gems and mud and steel Because it ALWAYS is It's what's most available to bring Oh I just can't wait for this thing! It'll tell you stories It provides a nightlight It'll clean your bedroom It'll bake a pie right! And so we're gonna go for broke and sing It sounds so dumb, the trouble it would bring But finished it'll be our finest fling Oh we just can't wait for this thing! Oh we just can't wait for this thing! Oh we just can't wait... For this thing! Author's Note As requested by Tacosaurus101 27. I'll Put A Ban On It Too(Note: Sung to the tune of Mulan's "I'll make a man out of you") Sung by Mayor Mare and the Ponyville residents Ponyville is a small quiet town, with the occasional strange and terrifying incidents to break the humdrum of an otherwise orderly life. It was not always so. Before Twilight Sparkle came along, bringing her organisation skills with her for the better, Mayor Mare had to defy the concept of "ain't no rule" as much as she could. Let's get down to business To put up some rules Parkour on the rooftops No that's just not cool! Using cats as hoofballs That's just cruel So's using mules to make some glue Watch me, I'll put a ban on it too Please stop telling Pinkie You want what she's on There's blood still on the fountain And I want it gone Stop mocking me with Exaggerated Limb movements right on cue Or else I'll put a ban on it too I can't call griffins "horseybirds" Not allowed back at the nightclub (I replaced the DJ's tracks with fennel seed) I must go use the proper words I can't spy on folks in bathtubs I should accept that goats and tigers cannot breed (Put a ban) Because the strangest thing of all is (Put a ban) They happened enough times to warrant rules (Put a ban) With all my authority as Mayor I will close up all the loopholes in the pool Lyra's not cannon fodder And Town Hall does not have Tuesday Open-Mike Nights And don't steal my staff And please do not cite Nightmare Moon As the greatest influence on you Watch as I put a ban on it too! (Put a ban) Because the strangest thing of all is (Put a ban) They happened enough times to warrant rules (Put a ban) With all my authority as Mayor I will close up all the loopholes in the pool (Put a ban) Because the strangest thing of all is (Put a ban) They happened enough times to warrant rules (Put a ban) With all my authority as Mayor I will close up all the loopholes in the pool Author's Note As requested by Cstgeorge. Inspired by the famous "100 Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In Hogwarts" lists that are everywhere. 29. Barter's Your Word(Note: Sung to the tune of The Little Mermaid's "Part Of Your World") Sung by Rainbow Dash The Rainbow Falls Traders Exchange is a massive trading festival famous in Equestria. Here, you can trade off pretty much anything you want for things you need or want. It's a time to wheel, deal and steal. Or at least do the first two, anyway. Look at this stuff. Isn't it neat? I'll want your book for a sugary treat Don't you think I'm the pony, the one who has everything? Look at this trove, treasures untold How many wonders can this one cart hold? Looking around here you'd think: "Sure, we've got everything" I've got Wonderbolt memorabilia a-plenty Rarity has got diamonds galore I just want what you've got, about twenty The trading game is your chance here to score! Lyra wants to be where the humans are She picked up a watch from a booth Swapping it off for those... What do you call 'em? Oh, beans Fluttershy just got discounted alfalfa In exchange for a manticore tooth So far she got a sweet deal... Angel Bunny needs his greens I'll do my chair You do that pair Of autographed goggles for stunts in the air Value's the same In the Swap Game Barter's your word What should you give? You want this sieve used by Sapphire Shores? What would you pay to spend a day with DJ Pon-3? Auction Hunters sell off wonders Like antiques you don't get in the normal stores Treasure galore, and plenty more, much more to see And Twilight has got first edition books But I think Pinkie's ripping herself off here... AJ brought her cooking... For some vintage...thing! I brought my stuff All up to snuff, Mint condition with no bends or curls This stuff's a steal Make me a deal Barter's your word 33. World's Greatest Historic Find(Note: Sung to the tune of The Great Mouse Detective's: "World's Greatest Criminal Mind") Sung by Twilight Sparkle and Spike On a magical historic trip across Equestria, Twilight Sparkle discovers what she believes to be one of the most important finds in ancient Equestrian history...Starswirl the Bearded's shopping list. Later translations from the old hoof-runes would show that he was apparently out to buy a pint of milk and a size 7 wizard's hat, with a small note at the bottom regarding a 50% discount somewhere. Despite its seemingly unimportant contribution to understanding the past, Twilight believes it may be revolutionary. Maybe. "It's Starswirl the Bearded! It MUST be important!" From the pony who greatly revolutionized magic The sage who made growing beards a lot less tragic And the Father of the amniomorphic spell Who's name was given to a library shelf Now comes the real tour de force Incredibly insightful, of course The earlier scrolls were fine but so droll But now we have positive proof Of what food he Liked and who he's seeing All written down in hoof You kidding? You serious? Not much to gleam from an ancient grocery list... This parchment would not be missed As History As History It falls far behind Do you think it's Do you think it's The world's greatest historic find? This shopping list This shopping list I guess it's a thing... This shopping list This shopping list Has not got much insight to bring... Even louder Let's shout it! You think it belongs in the archives and vaults? If it's forgotten, not my fault! The shopping list The shopping list It's one of a kind To the shopping list To the shopping list The world's "greatest" historic find! 38. Peanut Butter Cracker(Note: Sung to the tune of Bambi's "Little April Shower") Sung by Trixie In an alternative world somewhere, the brightly coloured pastel ponies are actually brightly clothed pastel HUMANS. But honestly, if you were to ask Twilight Sparkle, there actually isn't much difference between the two, apart from the lack of magic. Around the school grounds of Canterlot High, the very first items to sell out at the vending machines are always the peanut butter crackers. The Great and Powerful Trixie can't help it. They are so magically delicious. Crisp crisp crunch Peanut butter crackers Leaving behind all the crumbs on my skirt Crisp crisp crunch Peanut butter crackers Your nutty crunch keeps me up and alert Up and alert, up an alert Snack time, snack time Crisp crisp crunch When the sky is cloudy Your crunchy goodness will brighten the day Crisp crisp crunch When the sky is cloudy Your snappy charm helps me work, rest and play And they're just 50 calories Crisp crisp crunch Peanut butter crackers One dollar fifty for one pack of twelve Crisp crisp crunch Peanut butter crackers Always the first thing to fly off the shelf Crisp crisp crunch When the mood is sour You're always there in the vending machine Drip, drip, drop When the mood is sour You're always there in the vending machine Small little nutty bites Small little nutty bites Soon sets everything right Soon sets everything right Not for those with allergies Specifically, nut allergies Every taste I would never waste They're the centre of my galaxy Crisp crisp crunch Peanut butter crackers You're the best thing about Canterlot High Crisp crisp crunch Peanut butter crackers You're delicious, I can but wonder why Crisp crisp crunch Peanut butter crackers Leaving behind all the crumbs on my skirt Crisp crisp crunch Peanut butter crackers Your nutty crunch keeps me up and alert Up and alert, mmm. 39. Gone Today(Note: Sung to the tune of Brother Bear's "On My Way") Sung by Applejack The residents of Ponyville always look forward to Cider Season, when the Apple Family make their special cider at a time when the apples are in their best season. They're so popular in fact, that you have to get up really early in order to secure a good spot in the queue and actually get any cider at all. Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash, until recently, never seemed to actually arrive in time to get any. Because everypony else is prepared to camp out at Sweet Apple Acres the night before. Sometimes TWO nights before. And every time Rainbow was next in line, the answer was always the same. Tell everypony they're gone today Sold out of cider for the year We're all outta drink, yeah, they're gone today Ah know that it's all yer worst fear Tell everypony they're gone today Ah regret that we don't have no more With the sun beating down, yes, they're gone today Better luck next year, for sure Cause there's nothing like chugging our drink down again No matter what the distance between But Pinkie and Berry Punch buy half the stock And load 'em in the cart So tell 'em all they're gone today Our cider sells faster than gold A first-come, first-serve basis, Ya gotta get there first And ah can't keep our wares on hold Not cryin' and not beggin' Can change mah mind It ain't being fair on the folks here first Can't keep it for next year 'Cos cider goes bad real quick So no point cryin' loud an' fit to burst Cause they're gone today now Well and truly They're gone today now (They're gone today now) (They're gone today now (They're gone today now) Tell everypony they're gone today (Tell everypony they're gone today) It's just that we ran outta mugs (just that we ran outta mugs) You gotta be quick, yes, they're gone today You can't set a pace like a slug (You tried campin', sugarcube) So tell everypony they're gone today My advice is to camp out 'til morn (is to camp out 'til morn) When the sun sets on over, yes, they're gone today So camp up or else y'all be torn They're gone today Yes, they're gone today Author's Note After this, I'm pretty hard up for ideas. I can't think of too many songs (or at the very least, not enough titles). So instead of just a song, could you also throw out a good title as well? K thx. And don't forget to fave and leave a comment too! 43. Bed-less Pony(Note: Sung to the tune of The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr Toad's "Headless Horseman") Sung by Vinyl Scratch aka DJ-Pon3 DJ-Pon3 couldn't remember much from last night, or the reason why she woke up with a massive headache and her mane littered with twigs. All she knew was, she was up a tree in the Everfree Forest with a saxophone and a tiger, wearing who knows what, with only herself to blame. Or at least that was what everypony would say. Gather 'round and I'll elucidate What went down at the club so late Pinkie Pie parties, I party hard For some reason, from the zoo I'm barred... There's a tiger with stripes and great big eyes And it's got fangs about this size I lost my Vinyl tracks and shades And I'm dressed in a black outfit for maids I'm telling you, brony, it's a frightful sight I dunno what the heck happened last night How I got up here's a mystery There's no ladder, far as I can see I'm broke, that's bad, but even worse I'm a bed-less pony with no purse That's right, I'm a fright just late last night I'm aching all over from head to hoof Sleeping in branches and leaves for a roof Ponies take one look and groan And they tell me leave the punch alone Can't help but feel I'm all on my own And there's a saxophone taped to my horn I think my mane's filled with twigs and corn I swear to the longest day I live I'll exercise the moderation I can give I'd jump down there but it's quite a fall So how'd I get up here at all? A massive headache in my brain Make casting magic such a strain Last night's fuzzy, it's just not clear How I wound up in the tree right here... With a tiger, a saxophone And a bed-less pony all alone With a hip, hip and a clippity clop I'll make my party spirit stop So please don't stop to figure out "why" Just don't copy this bed-less guy Now if you doubt this tale is so Just ask Octavia, she should know No doubt she'll talk of dubstep beats Or how she lost sight of me in the seats For she'd have stopped me there, my friend If she stayed with me to the end So when you're ridin' home tonight Make sure you mind is clear and right Or else you'll end up just like me With strange acquisitions, no money! With a hip, hip and a clippity clop I think my dignity's for the chop So please don't stop to figure out "why" Just don't copy this bed-less guy 45. Mange Things(Note: Sung to the tune of Toy Story's "Strange Things") Sung by Rarity It was a beautiful day. The sun was out, and not a cloud in the sky (Rainbow Dash got grilled by her boss and had to clear the sky early). It was a day where you couldn't help feel happy. Or at least as happy as you can be when you wake up to discover most of your hair's fallen out. Everywhere. Rarity later described the incident as "The. Worst. Possible. Thing!" (She says that for everything though.) The Ponyville residents who woke up to the sounds of Rarity's panicked screaming deemed it "legendary". It took a lot of effort on her friends' part to actually drag her out of the Carousel Boutique and take her to a doctor. I was on top of the world It was going to be a perfect day I was brushing my mane things were just the way they should be When suddenly I start shedding like mad My coat and mane just fall away Now all of a sudden some mange things are happening to me I'm going bald I'm going totally bald Now all my hair is gone And I'm doing the best I can to carry on I had beauty (beauty) I was respected (respected) But not any more And I'm leaving my purple locks all over the floor Let me tell you about the Mange things are happening to me Mange things Mange things are happening to me... Ain't no doubt about it There's many pinks patches all over My hair's out of place now The minute I turn my back, my tail dropped right off They'll laugh at my looks, I think I'm a disgrace And I'm in danger And I'll end up alone, forgotten, with stubble so rough Mange things are happening to me Mange things Mange things are happening to me Ain't no doubt about it Mange things are happening to me Mange things Mange things are happening to me Mange things (x2) Author's Note As requested by Le_DragonBroneE 50. I Didn't Know That I Could Deal This Way(Note: Sung to the tune of Lady and The Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure's "I Didn't Know That I Could Feel This Way") Sung by Flim and Flam When con-artists Flim and Flam were only young, they were the sorts of ponies who were itching to make money on pretty much any scheme they could think off. Some were successful, others not so much. Indeed, they probably would have been the same as any other pony had it not been for the fact that one day, the two of them succeeded in scamming an entire playground out of what was easily ten times their monthly pocket money. It was made worse by the fact that the two actually earned their cutie marks out of this. They later told their parents they got it for their entrepreneurial skills. It wasn't technically a lie, so they felt that the answer was adequate. I never done this dealing before We rake in so much money, I can't ignore And I see that there's more now Than just playing fair I never felt my heart beat so fast We scammed all the kids down to the last Look how happy they are with their wares It's amazing that we're in the dough Look how rich we could be I didn't know that I could deal this way It's so crazy that they bought the lie It's better than a dream I didn't know that I could deal this way It makes me warm and happy inside Our loot gets me all dizzy and starry eyed All these feelings I have Have me asking Is this our life? Is this our life? It's awesome I can hardly speak Sales ponies nonpareil/Sales ponies nonpareil I didn't know that I could deal I never dreamed that I could deal I didn't know that I could deal This way Author's Note I might have mentioned it before, but I'm running low on ideas. Not in the song department, just in the title department. So if you could leave a comment naming a song and a good parody title I think I can squeeze out some semblance of a song. Thanks! 150. Aggravation(Note: Sung to the tune of Brother Bear's "Transformation") Sung by Rarity "I had no idea where my horn was taking me. But unicorn magic doesn't happen without a reason. I knew this had to do with my love of fashion and maybe even my cutie mark! I knew that this was... MY DESTINY!" To say that Rarity wasn't disappointed at what her horn eventually lead her to would be untrue. Thankfully, it wasn't ACTUALLY her destiny. What is this, I'm destined now Be with boulders, I fear For no reason why Horn says a ROCK'S my destiny And I sure do not understand This is the worst destiny ever I was dragged out here towards a rock This is the worst destiny ever Whatever's meant for me, that's not right! "Come with me, I'll take you there" So said my STUPID horn That's NOT what I need to be the one I need to be And all of those miles that I crossed Amounted to just wasted time This is the worst destiny ever I was dragged out here towards a rock This is the worst destiny ever Whatever's meant for me, that's not right! Author's Note As requested by T1MBUK0N3. Translated directly from Whinnyuit (pony equivalent of Inuit). It's that time again. Pitch songs (titles also welcome) at me, as I am running out of ideas. Thank you! 52. Everypony Hates That Evil Cat(Note: Sung to the tune of The Aristocats's "Everybody Wants To Be A Cat") Sung by Spike and Sweetie Belle Spike's secret that pretty much isn't a secret at all is that he's madly in love with Rarity. As he makes a lot of effort to try and hang around her, on occasion he'll bump into Sweetie Belle, but she's usually off doing her thing with the other Cutie Mark Crusaders, so they don't talk much. At least there is one common point of interest. They don't see a lot of point in a pet that makes no effort to try and love you back. Like Rarity's cat, Opalescence. Well, everypony, let me elucidate here Everypony hates that evil cat Because that cat's the only cat Who don't care where you're at Tell me! Everypony's knowing that she ain't that sweet To her, you're pretty obsolete She's such a grumpy pet! There are plenty dresses torn Rarity wishes she weren't born That feline don't care! She'll bring a dead bird or mouse Right there into our house She's like this all day Cha cha ba dum bo day She won't let you stroke her Or just play nice You know that cat's the only cat You'd consider a vice Who would hope For that misanthrope Or stuff like that... ...When everypony hates that evil cat? She claws well hard enough To leaves scratches and tufts She does not like you Boy, she's cranky, cranky, cranky Does she remind you of Angel Bunny enough? She will hate you too Boy, she's cranky, cranky, cranky Everypony hates that evil cat Because that cat's the only cat Who don't care where you're at To be honest, keeping her, where's Rarity at? 'Cause everypony wants rid of that grumpy cat If you want to avoid her Save the cuts and loss of fur And not sprayed in kitty litter too Make sure that you're well outside Try to stay out late at night And make excuses not to go home, do... You're around to fill her bowl Not a "thank you", she's so cold The heartless feline's just a pest She deprives you of your rest Everypony, everypony, everypony hates that evil cat! Hallejuah! Everypony, everypony, everypony hates that evil cat! I'm telling you! Everypony, everypony, everypony hates that evil cat! Yeah! Everypony, everypony, everypony hates that evil cat! Mmmm! Everypony, everypony, everypony hates that evil cat! Hallejuah! Everypony, everypony, everypony hates that evil cat! Author's Note As requested by remnants 54. Throw A Discus (And Lots More)(Note: Sung to the tune of Hercules's "Go The Distance") Sung by Applebloom Cutie Pox is a mysterious illness in ponies in which the sufferer sudden breaks out into cuties marks all over the body, compulsively forcing the sufferer to perform all of the talents that come with it. Well, Applebloom came down with this when she concocted a potion for an instant cutie mark using ingredients she stole from Zecora, which went about as well as you'd expect... Ah can hula-hoop for eight straight hours Ah wanted my cutie mark, To come straight to me Ah sweep your chimneys, And can arrange flowers But Ah just can't stop, This ain't how it's meant to be Ah can spin yer plates, Ah can throw a discus Mah body just won't do What it's told, Ah swear Ah make china pots, As the marks break out like spots Ah can grow a business, But right now Ah don't care Je suis un lion Fantastique dompteur Je compose des chansons Whoops, my French slipped through, Mah feet won't stop dancin', Can't stop the beat Mah hooves ache so badly, Ah just don't know what to do And that potion drink, Make me go all listless Shoulda stopped to think, Ah should just accept defeat Doomed to work all wired, Even when Ah'm tired Through this woeful instance, Ah can only move mah feet Ah don't know why, but I I can lift up to thousand tons Every special talent I just came down with every one! Like a girl possessed, I will row this instant I can build a house, I can swing from trees I don't care how far, Want it gone, good riddance I'm a slave to my talents til, There's a cure for me! I can build a house, I can swing from trees I'm a slave to my talents til, There's a cure for me! Author's Note As requested by dragonspinner33 56. Kick The Girl(Note: Sung to the tune of The Little Mermaid's "Kiss The Girl") Sung by Fluttershy There's being assertive and there's just being a total jerk. Unfortunately, Fluttershy found it hard to tell the difference between the two the day she attended Iron Will's assertiveness seminar and put his teachings into practice. When Fluttershy wasn't happy, ain't NOPONY's happy. There I see her When sompony tries to block I just show 'em that I rock New Fluttershy's seizing the day And you don’t know how I'll throw you out now I wanna kick the girl Not worth my time Look at her, you know you do It’s possible she'll butt in, too Well I'm not going to let her If you cut in line I'll just take what's mine Go on and kick the girl Sing with me now Sha-la-la-la-la-la My, oh, my You think that I won't try? I ain’t gonna kick you, girl? Sha-la-la-la-la-la That's just sad Ain’t it shame, too bad Gonna get kicked, my girl Now’s my moment I will not apologize Not when I can criticize No time will be better Now I was here first You lot are just the worst I'm set to kick the girl Sha-la-la-la-la-la You'll be scared I'll throw you to the air I'm gonna kick the girl Sha-la-la-la-la-la In my space My hoof goes in your face All set to kick the girl Sha-la-la-la-la-la Move the line Where the sun don't shine I'm gonna kick the girl Sha-la-la-la-la-la Hey you there You're giving me a stare You wanna kick, my girl? I wanna kick the girl You'll get a kick, my girl I gotta kick the girl Go on and kick the girl Author's Note As requested by dragonspinner33 58. The Three Angry Sparrows(Note: Sung to the tune of The Three Caballeros's "The Three Caballeros") Sung by Fluttershy Fluttershy, as an animal caretaker, looks after many critters and other not-so-cuddly creatures. Three examples are some sparrow, who seem to be totally fixated on being seriously misanthropic and just plain mean. Fluttershy's not sure why; as far as she knows they seem to have come from a relatively normal family. Maybe it's because they've realized they'll hop the twig after 18 months. Who knows? They're three angry sparrows Raging angry sparrows They say they are birds of a feather They're hacked off 'bout something Their anger's unbecoming There's no love, there's nothing They're outraged forever They're three rotten birdies But don't take my word-ies Antagonistic, sharp like an arrow They're not afraid to show it They hate you and you'll know it Who says so? They say so! The three angry sparrows Ahhhh! Take care not to be seen Or they will peck you clean Fly as fast you can If only that energy Were used constructively! Turn your tail and just flee Fastest you ever ran! Through fair and stormy weather They loathe you all together They perch on a shelf They're not trapped with you You're trapped with them, too Stuck with this angry crew You'll want to save yourself! Ahhhh! Please don't call them grumpy That term's rather bumpy It implies a soft center There's no kindness in their souls Their heart's as black as coal You'll scream like a foal Take heed, and enter... Author's Note Yes, a sparrow's lifespan's that short, BTW 63. That's What Twilight Sparkle Found(Note: Sung to the tune of The Sword In The Stone's "That's What Makes The World Go Round") Sung by Pinkie Pie Pinkie Pie stashes items all over Ponyville in case of emergencies where they may be useful. Balls, whisks, the key to the lost city of Cantlantis, you name it. After discovering this, Twilight Sparkle was compelled to investigate exactly what sort of things Pinkie was keeping all over Ponyville. The items that she discovered after going on a hunt for Pinkie's stashed items was frankly astonishing. At least everything she found was labelled with a note telling whoever found them to use them as they liked, but please return them when they were done. Yes, even the things you would not expect to stay still. Eggs and spoons Green balloons That's what Twilight Sparkle found King-sized beds Shrunken heads That's what Twilight Sparkle found Let's not forget the boxing gloves A shelter for threats from above For every berry there's some cream For every shock there is a scream Stick and stone Memory foam That's what Twilight Sparkle found... "...I actually DON'T remember hiding this!" Pinkie said later on. "FANTASTIC! It worked!" She also found Pumpkin and Pound Playing hide-and-seek with me In the square, Bazookas there They're Party Cannons, upgrade 3! I stashed them in the fountains, cos I didn't want to raise a fuss They can still injure you, you see With streamers at high velocity Rubber bands Ransom demands That's what Twilight Sparkle found Ceiling tiles Acid vials That's what Twilight Sparkle found And underground, she had a look She found Cupcakes, a horror book And later on green eggs and ham For mutant radioactive rams Pangolins Plastic bins That's what Twilight Sparkle found Fluttershy Wait, WHAT? WHY? That's what Twilight Sparkle found For one day curiosity Compelled Twilight to look, you see And that's what Twilight Sparkle found 68. Driving Me Around The Bend(Note: Sung to the tune of Pocahontas's "Just Around The River Bend") Sung by Rarity As much as Rarity loves her sister Sweetie Belle, she does find herself exasperated by Sweetie Belle's antics, particularly at finding her cutie mark which normally involves a lot of property damage and angry ponies. At least most of the time she's either at school or hanging out with her friends, but when Sweetie Belle stays with Rarity for a prolonged period of time...well, a flooded town is par for the course when this happens. What I love most about Sweetie is: She's good-hearted and looks up to me But her exuberance does wear myself thin But fillies, I guess, must live like that Damaging property To be safe, I'm probably better off not knowing Driving me around the bend Simply driving me around the bend I lost my threads Driving me around the bend I simply dread What she's done today I'll lose my head She needs a catapult's end Driving me around the bend For me Not good for me I feel it there beyond those trees Or right behind these waterfalls She wants a cutie mark in daredevil rowing With Applebloom and Scootaloo Destroying other ponies' walls Or flood the town with all the water flowing? Driving me around the bend Driving me around the bend I dread to think Driving me around the bend You're by the sink Then you hear a sound Oncoming drink For them this is the end Driving me around the bend Driving me around the bend... Good thing I was out of town I come back to water deep... Good thing no-one was asleep Sweetie's grounded to no end Just what is next still gives me the shivers Driving me around the bend 78. For The First Time, In The Heather(Note: Sung to the tune of Frozen's "For The First Time Since Forever") Sung by Scootaloo and Applebloom Applebloom and Sweetie Belle hadn't seen Scootaloo all of the afternoon after school. At first, they thought she might have been fillynapped, but the truth was something a little more embarrassing. She was...trying out a tricky new stunt on her scooter and crashed into a heather bush, and couldn't get back out. It was surprisingly comfortable. Quite possibly the most pleasant crash ever had on a scooter, honestly. I crashed my scooter straight through the fence! I didn't know I’d get my comeuppance! And I think I scuffed my scooter’s paint job... I think I’ve fallen and can’t get up I’m totally legless like a newborn pup And I smell pollen upon the handle-knob! This couldn’t get any more awkward It's just totally strange I think that this trick’s a bit out my range… Cause it’s the first time in the heather You know I’m stuck in the hedge! For the first time, in the heather My feelings would be on edge... If this plant just didn’t smell so lovely Sheesh, I really am going mad! Cause for the first time in the heather It’s not, like, too bad… Don’t think that little stunt went right… (gasp) Don’t mind me, I’m... alright! It’s actually really quite comfy Lying in the bush, believe you me The picture of serenity and calm... Ooh! I suddenly saw a centipede Crawling by my face among the weed I’m fine, it’s not like heather does you harm! But I hope somepony rescues me soon I have to sleep, you know I just can’t spend the night stuck like so! For the first time in the heather It’s quite comfy, but I’ll say For the first time in the heather I’d like to be rescued anyway... And I know it's totally crazy Being trapped inside a plant... But for the first time in the heather Not in the mood to rant! Where’s Scootaloo? Where could she be? Askin’ round town Where she was last seen Ah hope that she’s Alright and well... Cos with these things Ya really just can’t tell Hope it's only for today It's only for today! It's agony to wait It's agony to wait! Hope the Crusaders aren't...too late! Too late! For the first time in the heather (Where’s Scootaloo? Where could she be?) The crash was somehow relaxing! (Askin' round town where she was last seen) All things considered, could be worse (Ah hope) In case you were asking! (Ah hope that she's alright and well!) But I hope I'm found tomorrow Or perhaps I'm found today! But for the first time in the heather... For the first time in the heather Nothing bad to say! Oh! Author's Note As requested by pinkiedash100 83. Vinyl Scratch's Heaven(Note: Sung to the tune of Home On The Range's "Little Patch Of Heaven") Sung by Vinyl Scratch aka DJ Pon3 DJ Pon3 gets her fair share of interviews from the press. It comes with being a famous disc-jockey, after all. Looking back, if you asked her, "What was the best question you ever got asked in an interview?" she would reply: "Oh yeah. No doubt about it. I once got asked what my idea of heaven was. It ain't that hard, really." I know a time When I can mix Tracks and the dubstep beats Pull all the stops, all of the tricks. Layin’ down the beats there Down in the nightclubs, Oh yeah, Vinyl Scratch’s heaven Is more wubs. But you know what I care To hear right there? Sapphire Shore’s tracks remixed- Electric guitars blare. Wanna party all night- Bring the wubs on full, Cos see, Vinyl Scratch’s heaven Ain’t so dull. If I had my way I would say Cider should not Give me a headache, Like lead, ache So bad. Cos I once I woke up in a tree With just no memory Yeah, I only want the fun times Just to be had! Octavia Wub mania Beet-oat-ven’s tunes, remixed and soon Again, retrained-ier. Cos maybe Tavi Might just be impressed …Least in Vinyl Scratch’s heaven I’d be blessed… And every gig Would be big All Sold Out. Just me and the crowd Feelin’ proud, You bet. And at Canterlot City I won’t need security Why, it's just as close to perfect As you can get! I know you’ll say, It’s a long way, But I’ll tell you that in my view I’m quite close to that day! I'm climbing the ladder A great rising star Cos Vinyl Scratch’s heaven Ain’t that far... Apart from the cider Octavia too I’d say Vinyl Scratch’s heaven Will come true! Author's Note As requested by The Princess Rarity It's a pity you can't smoothly incorporate WUBS in written lyrics... 88. I Cannot Concentrate(Note: Sung to the tune of Aladdin II: The Return Of Jafar's "You're Only Second Rate") Sung by Big Macintosh It was supposed to be a peaceful day of work at the farm, until Granny Smith told Big Macintosh the gazebo needed repairing. As unfortunate luck would have it, he was all out of nails, and he needed to go buy more. But standing between Lugnut's hardware store and the farm was the entirety of the Summer Wrap Up Festival... Ah must admit Ah’m out of nails For gazebos Ah need to go into town To get some more Now here's my chance But unfortunately Festival’s in swing C'mon down Go and shop for things Cutie Mark Crusaders With some fireworks That looks awful dangerous Out there, peril lurks Ah'll set the record straight AH DON’T WANNA DATE! Ah cannot concentrate! And a baker’s couple Foist their kids on me While they go deliver Confectionary Why’s it got to be me? Come back with the cake! Ah cannot concentrate! Got roped in Ah’m “nope”-in’ Ah’m quite busy Trixie’s doing a puppet show It’s quite the craze You know at this rate that Ah’ll never catch Lugnut Wanna have some space Ah’ll find a way to escape from this place But before Ah head out Someone’s cart made off So Ah go get out Stop to help their job Sweet Celestia, Ah may Miss him on the way! Ah cannot concentrate! Ah removed a splinter, Won a horse shoe toss, Made off like a sprinter Drank cider like a boss As distractions rate It’s a real sorry state Ah cannot concentrate! Later on, Ah warn ya D.T’s Advice Corner Bulk Bicep’s Training Booth And Ah partner with Princess Luna. “Forsooth!” So we make the competition drop Ah make my escape straight to the shop What a sight that waits Ah could up and faint Lugnut’s hardware store Ain’t looking so great It’s burnt to the ground It’s a sorry state Ah couldn’t concentrate! Author's Note As requested by ShadowLDrago. Based on the comics. 90. Bedazzle The Car(Note: Sung to the tune of Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search For Christopher Robin's "Wherever You Are") Sung by Pinkie Pie One of Pinkie Pie's oddest dreams: She dreamt that she was in a city, which was dull and grey and full of lifeless activity. She then spotted a large machine with 4 wheels outside, and so took it upon herself to add some colour to this otherwise drab city. Elsewhere, in another world, a short, unemployed misanthrope woke up one morning to find someone had bedazzled his precious car. Come out soon See my finest art Come on Come on Bedazzle the car Glitter on the hubcaps The wheels need pink paint too Decorating And tiny little pink beads Around the headlights, a few Decorating And when they check the glove compartment I hid a special big surprise And I glued on spirals and stars I livened up this thing so far I add colour to the view Bedazzle the car I’ll hear you laugh It's fun and free! The exhaust's stuffed with confetti! Tires made from chewing gum The pedals have gotten bling With some sequins I decorated head to hoof Haven't missed out anything With some sequins I know this is only a dream here No consequences to be had And I glued on spirals and stars I livened up this thing so far Or maybe this is all too real? Oh well, I know someone will feel Pleased as punch when they see what's the deal! Bedazzle the car Bedazzle the car Author's Note IMPORTANT! We're fast approaching the 100th Chapter! So in order to commemorate such an event PROPERLY, I need to know which song or songs were amongst your favourites to be placed in my little Hall of Fame in my 100th Chapter Spectacularmathon! Just leave a comment listing your best ones! Ten... 92. Sad Madam Belle(Note: Sung to the tune of The Sword In The Stone's "Mad Madame Mim") Sung by Rarity The Ponyville Foal and Filly Fair was almost underway, and Rarity had made one of her most fabulous looking puppet stands for the fair, with the help of Spike. Unfortunately, the puppeteer found her extraordinarily elaborate contraption to be way too impractical, and sent it back. Next thing anypony knew, Rarity was crying to herself eating vanilla oat swirl ice-cream. The theatre's a flop In pieces, my dream Om nomnom nom nom Just me and my ice-cream It was a project that hadn't gone well 'Cause I'm the un-fabulous, pathetic, sad Madam Belle Se how distraught Downtrodden and Disappointed or Depressed I am Nopony loves me except this tub Of Vanilla Oat Swirl 'Cause I'm the un-fabulous, pathetic, sad Madam Belle! I say I vant to be left all alone I'm stuck in a creative rut of my own Boo hoo hoo hoo, Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo Wah hah hah hah hah A bloo bloo bloo bloo bloo bloo* But just then, finally For om nomnom nom nom The harsh reality Is I'm the un-fabulous, pathetic, sad, sad, sad, sad Madam Belle! Author's Note As requested by Revenant Wings *Substitute your own wails of despair here if these are not adequate for your needs. Eight... 95. She's Still Weird(Note: Sung to the tune of Treasure Planet's "I'm Still Here") Sung by Smart Cookie Smart Cookie was the Secretary of the Interior and aide to Chancellor Puddinghead. It was largely a thankless job, and with Puddinghead being as stir crazy as she was, her best hope was to try and divert her interests towards aiding society as a whole and hope the collateral damage would not be too great by playing the dumb yes-mare. I am an aid to Puddinghead, Making sure that she’s not dead Since that girl can’t take care of herself And what do you think I'd ever say She won't listen anyway She’s stir crazy So I point her in the direction that suits me. And what do you think you'd understand She believes in humans and There’s an undead cuttlefish in Lake Trot And I insist on living proof That people live inside her hoof It’s strange to me Cause I'm not weird She’s got a bird mounted and stuffed, Saying it’s dead is not enough It is still the Speaker Of The House… And how can the world get her to change Insanity stays the same They don't know me Cause I'm not weird And I stopped her from very nearly Declaring war on the sea Now you know me and I'm quite afraid And she wears fresh pudding for a hat A tiny chariot pulled by rats She can't break me As long as I know who I am And what’s left of sense has gone bad She thinks a puppet cat’s her dad Wanna hold on, and try not to snap… And how can the world get her to change Insanity stays the same They don't know me And she's still weird She can't tell me that there be A small angry monkey Hiding behind the closet I know that she’s lost it, not me And her words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe She’d like to take some time to thank A crudely crafted wooden plank Puddinghead, she dares to be stupid And how can the world get her to change Insanity stays the same They don't know me And she's still weird I'm the one 'Cause she's still weird She's still weird She's still weird She's still weird Author's Note With all due credit to K9Thefirst1 IMPORTANT! We're fast approaching the 100th Chapter! So in order to commemorate such an event PROPERLY, I need to know which song or songs were amongst your favourites to be placed in my little Hall of Fame in my 100th Chapter Spectacularmathon! Just leave a comment listing your best ones! Five... 101. Pinkie Swear(Note: Sung to the tune of Lady and The Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure's "Always There") Sung by Pinkie Pie "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." If you have never made a Pinkie Pie Swear (shortened to Pinkie Promise), then you must realise the sheer gravity behind not only speaking these words, but also making the appropriate actions while doing so (mind your eye, Twilight would like to remind us). For you have just made a vow even more binding than a legal contract; heck, it's less risky to sell your mortal soul to darkness; there's considerably less consequences. Don't break a Pinkie Promise, or kneecaps WILL be broken. Pinkie Swear A legally binding contract Pinkie Swear An unbreakable vow Pinkie Swear Take it back at your peril Pinkie Swear You cannot back out now Honestly... If you do Ever break Pinkie’s promise Through and through I’ll break all of your legs Or yet worse I’ll turn your spine to putty Pinkie Swear Your skull is like an egg Honestly… Honestly Honestly I value honesty Promise that you’ll follow through We’ll have no problems then You break it, and it’s not “if”, it’s “when” Pinkie Swear A promise not made lightly (I value honesty) Take it back Tartarus waits for thee ‘Part from that, Everything is cool then! Pinkie Swear A vow made personally! Honestly Pinkie Swear Honestly Honestly Honestly Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. 102. Love Will Blow You Away(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride's "Love Will Find A Way") Sung by Princess Cadence Love is a powerful thing indeed. Princess Cadence and Shining Armor were able to harness the magic of Love to defeat the changeling army and banish Queen Chrysalis from Canterlot. It was inevitable therefore, that some of Canterlot's top scientists would seek to experiment with this magic, and find out whether this seemingly infinite type of magic could be used to power household objects such as ovens and vehicles. On our wedding day When all hope was lost Down the changelings came And they found to their cost Our love was spicy They got totally owned I may not be brave or strong or smart But I can weapon-ise my heart I know love will blow you away If I set my mind I know love can even move mountains My husband’s shining ray We would make it brisk Ignore us at your risk Love will blow you away Canterlot’s best techs Wants to harness me Love is never wrong Theoretically They want to use love To power all things Use love to fuel toasters or a train Or Equestria’s output of rain They know love will blow you away They’ll experiment See if it’s got potential for more They are testing, come what may Love as fuel, how that fares Power mundane home-wares Love can blow you away I know love can blow you away Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. Inspired by the Equestria Enquirer. 107. The Worst Of Both Worlds(Note: Sung to the tune of Hannah Montana's "The Best Of Both Worlds") Sung by Fluttershy Being a model sucks. It is especially bad when you're Fluttershy and you have rather bad stage-fright. But, when fashion photographer Photo Finish arrived for Rarity's shoot, she immediately saw Fluttershy's charm, ad to the dismay of Rarity AND Fluttershy, the timid pegasus was chosen to be a model. It was awful, just awful. Oh no Come on I get all the eyes on me Hottest styles, every dress, every color Yeah, when I’m famous it is not hard to see I hate it but Rarity never discovers This doesn’t help my stage fright one bit But on stage I'm a star I get the worst of both worlds Chillin' out? Got no time! A fashion show at nine I get the worst of both worlds Got no time for my friends and you know that it's the worst of Both worlds The worst of both worlds(Yeah!) Photo Finish making Da Magicks (is she really serious?) See my face on the magazines Livin' two lives makes me totally sick (yeah) Never wanted to be a beauty queen Yeah, I have to wear a hat and shades Or I’ll get mobbed by crowds of my fans I get the worst of both worlds Can’t let down Rarity, Since she passed this to me! I get the worst of both worlds Can’t use anonymity, so I know that it's the worst of Both I know the worst of both worlds Pictures and autographs I just feel like shriveling like a weed… The worst part’s that I cannot be Whoever I wanna be Worst! Worst! Yeah worst of both Worst! Worst! You get the worst of both Worst! Worst! Come on the worst of both Who would have thought that a girl like me Would double as a superstar... Arrgh! I get the worst of both worlds Anonymity Not an option for me I get the worst of both worlds Got no gall to say no, and you know that it's the worst You get the worst of both worlds Without the shades and the hair I can’t go anywhere I get the worst of both, girls Mix it all together Oh yeah It's so much awful cuz you know you've got the worst Of both worlds 108. Two Words(Note: Sung to the tune of Tarzan's "Two Worlds") Sung by Applejack It all started when Applejack left Ponyville to enter the Equestrian Rodeo in Canterlot. Plan was she'd win, and get the prize money to fix Ponyville Town Hall's roof. However, she never came back, forcing Twilight and the rest of her friends to look for her. Eventually, they found Applejack working on a cherry farm, but she refused to answer questions as to why. Left with no other alternative, her friends had to unleash their trump card: Pinkie. "...A cherrychanga is mashed up cherries in a tortilla that's deep fried. Cherrychanga. Great name, huh? Oh, but maybe I should call it a chimicherry. Ooh, that's good too. Which do you think sounds better? Cherrychanga or chimicherry? Or what if I combine them? Chimicherrychanga! What sounds the funniest? I like funny words! One of my favorite funny words is 'kumquat'! I didn't make that one up. I would work in a kumquat orchard just so I could say 'kumquat' all day! Kumquat, kumquat, kumquat! And 'pickle barrel'! Isn't that just the funnest thing to say? Pickle barrel, pickle barrel, pickle barrel! Say it with me! Pickle barrel, kumquat, pickle barrel, kumquat, pickle barrel, kumquat, chimicherrychanga!" Zip yer mouth and stop yer darn yammerin’ Two words, they are “SHUT UP”! Shut yer trap Stop talkin’ please, You grate mah nerves, eeyup Ah get a headache listening To things like kumquats and stuff Just go away, leave me in peace Zip yer mouth and stop yer darn chatterin’ Two words, they are “ZIP IT”! Shut yer trap Stop talkin’ please, Yer chattering’s the pits! Yer doin’ this to torture me Did the girls put yah up for this? Just go away, leave me in peace Just please shut up Ah have this load Ah’m busy, Ah don’t need you Can’t take no more Leave me alone What’s the deal in waiting? Be quiet, just try it here “No words” describe mah state of bliss “No words” would be real nice right now That dream is gone, but Ah can hope Zip yer mouth and stop yer blabberin’ Two words, they are “BE QUIET!” Shut yer trap Stop talkin’ please, I'm about to start a riot! "...Speaking of beans, did you ever realize how many words rhyme with 'beans'? Lean, mean, spleen, unclean, bean... " Author's Note As requested by Revenant Wings 113. I Won't Say (Derpy's Name)(Note: Sung to the tune of Hercules's "I Won't Say (I'm In Love))" Sung by Pinkie Pie Pinkie seems to be under the impression that Derpy Hooves has become totally different to the pony she initially remembered. Of course, nopony listened. I think her mentioning a race of strange people that monitor their every move and their angry bipedal parents didn't help her case. Whatever the case, Pinkie has to take care not to mention her name in view of these strange observers "to preserve the natural order". If there's a prize for rotten judgment, Moral guardians won that No mare is worth the aggravation That's ancient history Been there, done that Who d'you think you're kiddin'? They don’t name her to be meanies The real reason’s hidden The offenses meant are teeny Parents can’t conceal it Their over-reaction And what they're thinking of No chance, no way I won't say it, so wrong Say You-Know-Who Before a lawsuit comes on, Gets in our way I won't say Derpy’s name I just don’t know what went wrong right here It feels so good when it first aired Then there was lots of angry letters So to make sure all was spared (Ohhh...) There was controversy About wonky eyes and ditzy Least it didn’t get worse-y She’s in Season 4, still glitzy But a bunch of grown-ups Forced Hasbro to own up And change the whole scene like so No chance, no way I won't say it, no, no Got news for you It’s taboo, Derpy’s name They rue the day They can’t say Derpy’s name Got no choice, lose the voice And the name They're way off base, I won't say it Get off their case, I won't say it Like Voldemort It's okay, Derpy’s name Ohhh... At least out loud, I won't say Derpy’s name Sha-la-la-la la la, ahh Author's Note As requested by Revenant Wings 117. Making Us Think She's Dead(Note: Sung to the tune of Alice In Wonderland's "Painting The Roses Red") Sung by Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy It all started when Fluttershy was visiting Canterlot Castle with her friends to visit Princess Celestia. It was then that Fluttershy saw a very sickly bird (Princess Celestia's own pet Philomena) and decided to nurse it back to health. It proved to be a very difficult patient, and it only got worse. Then it suddenly burst into flames and turned into a pile of ash. Of course, both Fluttrshy and Twilight Sparkle thought that they had killed it. Until Princess Celestia caught up with them, and the bird (who happened to be an immortal phoenix) sprung back to life. It turned out it was going t get better anyway, but it decided to mess with their heads for cheap giggles. Twilight and Fluttershy both reached the same conclusion together: Philomena is a jerk. Making us think she’s dead Was making us think she’s dead That dumb phoenix Pulled out the tricks Fluttershy lost her head By making us think she’s dead By making us think she’s dead Oh, making us think she’s dead And many a tear we shed But then and there, And with a flare Burst into flames instead Suddenly a flash of red Making us think she’s dead Making us think she’s dead She’s making us think she’s dead What’s that, you say? ‘But, anyway, Why did we think she’s dead?’ “Huh? Oh! Well, the fact is, pal We didn’t know she was a phoenix, Or...” That she could be not dead And be reborn instead, So basically She pranked us, see To see where it all led That bird is a jerk, my friend By making us think she’s dead Making us think she’s dead She’s making us think she’s dead She ignored us, Fluttershy’s fuss To get a cheap laugh said Just by making us think she’s dead Yes, making us think she’s dead That bird’s A punk That re-birthing junk By making us think she’s dead! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. 118. Goner To Us All(Note: Sung to the tune of Mulan's "Honour To Us All") Sung by Bon-Bon When Bon-Bon's best friend Lyra Heartstrings suddenly announced she would leave Ponyville to search for the elusive human species, Bon-Bon had only one thought as the green unicorn left the house with her luggage and skipped off. "We will never see Lyra again," Bon-Bon remarked drily, knowing that Lyra would probably come back the next day, having suddenly realised she missed the earth pony's sweets. Or forgot to pack her toothbrush. This is what I have to live with? Well, honey, I've seen worse. When she comes back all depends On bits in the purse. Can she afford the train? Did she pack an umbrella for the rain? Don’t think she won’t come back again; That she’s a goner to us all. Wait and see, she’ll be back Because of something she forgot to pack. She won’t find a hint of human tracks She’s no goner to us all. She’ll be back in five minutes Or at most, one whole day. Lyra’s no Daring Do She’ll lose focus on the way. I hope she finds “proof” real soon Here in Ponyville so she’s back by noon. She won’t mount a trip to the moon She’s no goner to us all. She once found human footprints It kept her in the house Some tracks circling the garden, Or somewhere thereabouts. Turned out that it’s a hoax Discord had made them just for jokes To confuse archeologist blokes Just to drive us up the wall. Still she keeps on pressing, She must proudly show it The proof that humans do exist And tell folks “don’t you know it!” Celestia, hear my plea Don’t want to get out the house, you see: Go and rescue her from up a tree Again preventing her fall. Scarier than the anaconda Is finding out where she has wandered! Well at least I will say She’s forgotten something along the way That the train station is closed today They’re not taking your toll. She’s no goner to us She’s no goner to us She’s no goner to us She’s no goner to us She’s no goner to us all! 121. Maud Helps Them Out Back(Note: Sung to the tune of The Hunchback Of Notre Dame's "God Help The Outcasts") Sung by Maud Pie Maud's typical day as a rock farmer may not be the most exciting thing in the world, but it pays the bills. Why does her family farm rocks, you may ask? Well, the answer is simple. They farm rocks since rocks can't farm themselves. I don't know if you can get this Why we farm lumps of stone It's totally serious business What we do alone Yes, the art and subtle science Of grinding sand just right The exact measurements of quartz... And move rubble out of sight! Maud helps them out back Trimming the rocks Til late that evening Keeping to the clock Maud helps the family Watering the grit Maud helps them out back Just earning the bits It's a rock farm Not a quarry The two are totally different to me Cos does a quarry breed boulders? All the best breeding rocks on my shoulder here Feeding the rock slabs I can get by Tell the stonemasons Delivery's come by We sell pet rocks for The poor and downtrod A day in the life Of farmpony Maud Maud helps them out back Farmpony Maud Author's Note As requested by Revenant Wings. Practice for Chapter 74 applies here too. 123. The Beautiful Spiny Beasts(Note: Sung to the tune of Bedknobs and Broomsticks's "The Beautiful Briny Sea") Sung by Fluttershy Nature is disgusting yet fascinating. Fluttershy is certainly not a fan of gratuitous murder by any stretch, but she can certainly appreciate the ways animals hunt or defend themselves. She may even, dare I say it, lecture you on the way starfish feed by throwing up their stomach at unsuspecting fish and then digest them for several days. Nature. Truly fascinating. How pleasant, watching along Watching critters and all the rest of the beautiful spiny beasts What a chance to get a better peep At nasty nature at its most deep I love Parasitic wasps and doves All day I could watch swimming stingrays It's lovely, tagging along Watching critters and all the rest of the beautiful spiny beasts Portuguese Mare o' wars The stings attacks your lungs And hearts malfunction Don't worry, you won't die Nature is great! Reiterate: I'll sing about all the beautiful spiny beasts Look! How pleasant, watching along Watching critters and all the rest of the beautiful spiny beasts Fulmar gull chicks vomit, believe me, That's how it keeps out the enemies It's grand Komodo Dragons on sand Their bite Infects wounds, and then you die! It's lovely, watching along Watching a cowfish make toxins that kill all the fish swimmingly Kangaroo defence Jumping into water pools Then they drown their foes You must admit that's cool Nature is great! Reiterate: I'll sing about all the beautiful spiny beasts Skipping along, singing a song Praise be to all of the beautiful spiny Venomous, spiny, beautiful spiny beasts Author's Note Dedicated to all animals that can kill in extremely odd and needlessly cruel ways. I love you all. 124. Found Her Rambling Spree(Note: Sung to the tune of The Tigger Movie's "Round My Family Tree") Sung by Rainbow Dash If ever Twilight Sparkle wishes to show you a brand new discovery she made, it would probably be wise to either preemptively silence her or tell her you "don't speak egghead" as Rainbow Dash would say Never let Twilight Sparkle get carried away. EVER. Or you will be unable to leave for hours. There's magic theories and physics theories And theories I never knew Like nature theories and some maths theories Conspiracy theories too Biology theories Inductive theories Please can I go home now? Need to floss my otter And go rearrange some cows Found, found her rambling spree I know they're not good excuses, see Found, found her rambling spree I am a confused pony There's sprees of chemistry theories History theories by the ton There's overwhelmin' great great molecular theories Why can she not stop at one!? There's skinny-little, tiny-little, small logic theories Quantum physics theories too I don't understand them And I don't wish that I knew Found, found her rambling spree I just took some science to the knee Found, found her rambling spree I am a confused pony Found her rambling spree I am a confused pony The first-est most sign of a rambling spree An announcement of discovery Of the greatest, longest, strangest finding You'd ever care to see But if you care to listen you can't afford to miss 'em Cos then she will always ask If you've actually been paying attention while staying Dozing off ain't no task! There were big motion theories, evolution theories And theories of worldly acclaim There were glorious, fantasmagorious theories That I do not care to explain There's the arduous time and the disciple's rhyme Of her tedious rambling spree And when she starts explaining, I start begging to be free! Found, found her rambling spree Nowhere to hide from Twilight, or flee Found, found her rambling spree I am a confused pony There's magic theories and physics theories And theories I never knew Like nature theories and some maths theories Conspiracy theories too And when those theories all get together Twilight just has a ball! Confusing-est, boring-est, talking-est, tedious Most brain exploding-est egghead lecture of all! Everypony brace - science coming at you! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. 127. Pinkie's Spittling Song(Note: Sung to the tune of Snow White And The Seven Dwarves's "The Dwarfs' Washing Song") Sung by Pinkie Pie Poison joke is a type of flower that only grows in the Everfree Forest. Or at least, that's the only place in Equestria where there is any, as far as anypony is aware. Physical contact with the plant causes amusing, yet extremely inconvenient symptoms within hours. Symptoms vary from pony to pony, although bizarrely it is always a symptom that provides the greatest inconvenience. For example, Pinkie Pie, a mare that finds it hard to stop talking, was rendered unable to speak after her tongue swelled up so much she could do little but blow raspberries to talk. She described it later as the worst time of her life. It probably wasn't, but that's not what's important here. Bed of Poison Joke It's no fun at all My tongue swelled right up Hitting my mouth's wall Couldn't yodel or whistle Even do a cat-call Just go "Thrp-ubbbl-bbul-bpl-plb-hptl thrp-thpl-thrp-blpl?" Rainbow Dash's wings Got turned upside-down And Rarity's locks Were the talk of the town (Just not in a good way) And this party clown Was like "Thrp-ubbbl-bbul-bpl-plb-hptl thrp-thpl-thrp-blpl!" Twilight Flopple Appletini Don't get me started on Flutterguy please But spitting and rasping was the worst trick It also doesn't sound hygienic...! I think that I drooled On the library floor If Twilight saw that She'd show me the door! But I couldn't protest Never happened before, Sayin' "Thrp-ubbbl-bbul-bpl-plb-hptl thrp-thpl-thrp-blpl...!" But lucky for us A spa bath was made That used special herbs The Joke starts to fade Well thank goodness for that I can talk all the day Sayin' "Oh, my gosh! I never realized how horrible it is not to be able to talk. I mean, I love talking so much, and when I couldn't talk anymore, my tongue was all 'ehhhh'! It was the worst! Don't you agree, Fluttershy?" Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. 128. My Crown(Note: Sung to the tune of Cars's "Our Town") Sung by Sunset Shimmer Sunset Shimmer was the student to Princess Celestia before Twilight Sparkle. She was brilliant, but arrogant, rude, impatient and really rather cruel. So the prospect of princess-dom largely eluded her; Sunset felt her mentor feared her power, but Princess Celestia actually felt she would never be ready. Not that it stopped her from entering an alternate world, establishing a hierarchy at a local high school, stealing the crown from Twilight after learning she was the new Princess, and basically attempting to ruin both worlds. If nothing else, that mare had ambition. Long ago, but not so very long ago, I was her student. Oh, yes I was. But Sun-butt flank, kept me down in rank out of sheer fear And you know by rights, it was my crown So I went to a world of walking apes For some reason I had clothes now, but what the hay! She should have seen it coming, when I plotted treason too With that crown, there's nothing I can't do! Pony ain't a pony anymore (Never studied biology or maths before) To tell the truth, all I thought about Was my crown. Then one day portal opens, just like it's done before. So skipping science homework for the day, I go back to Equestria, and unlock Twilight's door. And I steal her crown, and bolt home far away! Student ain't a student anymore With the Magic Element, they will know the score! It's hard to find a reason left to stay, I'll raise a teenage army all the way! With the power of my crown! 129. Inspection(Note: Sung to the tune of Mulan's "Reflection") Sung by Ms. Harshwhinny Ms. Harshwhinny was coming all the way to the Crystal Empire to review the facilities of the kingdom, to see whether or not it would be fit to host the illustrious Equestria Games. It was well-known that she was a mare who was incredibly difficult to please, and so everypony at the Crystal Empire were working as hard as they could to please. Even when she hadn't actually arrived yet; they had mistaken a rather befuddled tourist for Ms. Harshwinny and thought the chipper attitude was all an elaborate con...and all because her train was delayed. Look at me, I may never get on the train today, it is rather late now... Can it be, Are they hard at work right now? We will see, If hygiene and catering are top-notch, Or if I get a furrowed brow. What is that train I see, pulling right up near me? Why is my duel-carriage forty minutes late? Now if it were my job, I'd sack the lazy slobs! Maybe I should inspect trains (on the side), or wait? We're away, Now the time will come, When I see If the place meets expectations On that day, I'll discover if things are up to snuff, Can they do the Empire proud? There's marks for food and drink, Equipment, and I think, There's guest accommodations, And safety trust! Do they have what it takes to make it the best of all time? What will my inspection show? E.G Host, or bust? What will my inspection show? E.G Host, or bust? Author's Note And once again the well starts to run dry. Please throw any suggestions you may have at me. Preferably from different movies so that I can space them out and use earlier requests...kthx 132. Do I Want To Bill The Showmare?(Note: Sung to the tune of Frozen's "Do You Want To Build A Snowman?") Sung by Pony Joe and Trixie Chased out of Ponyville after being humiliated by Twilight Sparkle, Trixie fled to Canterlot and wound up at Pony Joe's Donut Shop, drowning out her sorrows in a massive sugar binge. Pony Joe tried to put up with her many I.O.U tabs as best he could out of pity (Trixie was flat-broke after bad turnout after bad turnout), but he felt that sometime, he had to put his hoof down. Do I want to bill the showmare? I guess she has to pay... You can't just mooch here anymore Get out the door, And send your tab my way! You've been here for like two weeks, You don't look hot, Don't hand me an I.O.U! Do I want to bill the showmare? Take money from a flat-broke showmare... "REVENGE WILL BE MINE!" Good for you... Do I want to bill the showmare? That's kicking her while she's still down... I know that all that dough is overdue, I dunno if I want to send her out of town... (What a dilemma.) Maybe a suggestion, Why not get a job, That'll make the hours tick by... (tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock) Please, I know you're listening I think you should go get employed, Then I can go take it right off the bill, You can't just stay until You waste away But how long will it take Before she finds some work Do I ask up front? Do I want to bill the showmare? 136. The Job Song(Note: Sung to the tune of Beauty And The Beast's "The Mob Song") Sung by Trixie Jobless and dirt-poor, Trixie was forced to look for any line of work available to make ends meet. She moved on from job to job due to her inflated ego and sense of entitlement that pretty much defined The Great And Powerful Trixie, before finally finding employment at a rock farm, where there were precisely zero customers to offend. At least her resume was nice and full. Unemployed and homeless too Working shifts all day and night The Great And Powerful Trixie A mere grunt in pony's sight! But til the rumors go away I will rebuild once again Trixie Lulamoon will make quite sure That it's not 'if' it's 'when'! Now behold! Watch me go! Trixie's now a sandwich maker Peanut butter, that's my favorite, certified! Eat one bite, and you might Never ever have any other You can be like just like Trixie if you tried! Am I fired!? What a joke, what a great farce! No-one gets that my best will all fit! Hear Trixie! It's your loss! You can't fire me because I resign! Yes, resign! Cos I quit! Now Trixie's a tailor! Just watch Trixie make an outfit there! I'm using scissors to make matching hats! And a cape goes with those Yes, this fashion statement's perfect Now YOU can be like Trixie, just like that! Am I fired!? But Trixie don't understand Just who wouldn't want to be like Trixie? Well that's fine! Kiss my flank! Cos this place totally stank! Didn't get a word of thanks! I'll find somewhere who appreciates my genius! I don't like What I don't understand It just scares Trixie Being a bartender and listening to half-wits Good riddance! You all stink! Why should I care what you think? Hope your business totally sinks Because I quit! Burning toast! Burning shake! Fast-food isn't right for Trixie Neither is selling doors door-to-door for bits Come on guys! All I want Is an audience to flaunt Right in front of, but I can't And so I quit! Cos I quit! x7 138. Glazed-Over Eyes(Note: Sung to the tune of Brother Bear's "Look Through My Eyes") Sung by Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash As Zecora offered the mysterious potion to Twilight Sparkle, Twilight activated her unique unicorn magic to give the potion potency, and took a sip. From the perspective of her friends, this had the rather startling effect of causing Twilight to suddenly start spasming and yelling, then dramatically bursting into tears before finally having her eyes suddenly glaze over. Discord found it to be extremely entertaining, watching the first-timers get hit with their first dose of flashback potion. Well, you started shaking first and Oh, in time you see Cause somehow, someway You went loco Then you started yelling 'Bout Princess Luna Clearly not all right It was surreal We were there watching you freak out You got the glazed-over eyes In another place Somewhere out there You got the glazed-over eyes Everything's crazy Don't wanna know what you'll find Looking through the glazed-over eyes There were some times in that episode When ya started shaking Then ya suddenly came over blubberin' Wouldn't stop yer cryin' Discord just said, "Meh, She will be all right." He offered me Some popcorn when your tears dried up Ya got the glazed-over eyes In another place Somewhere out there You got the glazed-over eyes Everything's crazy Don't wanna know what you'll find Through your glazed-over eyes Then you fell right on your back Started flailing all o' yer legs Mumbling something about Elements of Harmony Ya got the glazed-over eyes In your drugged-up state, some clarity When ya suddenly realized It was a flashback Must've seen some crazy stuff Ya got glazed-over eyes You got glazed-over eyes Author's Note As requested by hamcon. 142. Always Pwned(Note: Sung to the tune of Oz: The Great And Powerful's "Almost Home") Sung by Pinkie Pie Twilight only had herself to blame for not listening to Pinkie. When Pinkie says that something's going to happen, you'd better pay attention. Otherwise Twilight could have avoided that anvil falling from the sky, or falling down the stairs into Applejack's basement or somepony slamming her door into the wall and flattening her... Hey, hey..... You're always pwned You're always pwned You're always pwned I feel the twitch in my tail And my mane's acting up again And that means Twilight just fell in a hole I've held hope that she'd take heed That there would be another chance She'd believe me, and not walk into a pole 'Cause behind disbelief there's something greater than you know Because fate ain't fair And she's always pwned Just watch that falling piano go, go When you're always there, always pwned When you've broken bones She's always pwned Please just run, run so far Or you'll get hit by a car Twilight thinks I'm from some other universe I couldn't push her out the way Of fifteen falling bales of hay Wrong is right, right is left And there's nowhere left to turn My Sense can pick up anything You think, you think you know Because fate ain't fair And she's always pwned Just watch that falling anvil go, go When you're always there, always pwned When you've broken bones She's always pwned When you approach this with open minds You'll spare yourself becoming woozy If you paid attention to this doozy At Froggy Bottom Bog Oh, Because fate ain't fair And she's always pwned Just watch that falling brick bag go, go When you're always there, always pwned When you've broken bones She's always pwned Because fate ain't fair And she's always pwned Just watch that falling plant pot go, go When you're always there, always pwned When you've broken bones She's always pwned 148. Lack Of Explorations(Note: Sung to the tune of The Fox And The Hound's "Lack Of Education") Sung by Daring Do A.K Yearling sat at home, under the worst fear of any writer: writer's block. It was the vacation period, and there were a rather disturbing lack of any ruins with needlessly elaborate and lethal traps for her to explore lately. It was BORING. And having a publisher to appease doesn't help either. Now, if I'm so awesome and I'm famous as well, Then why is there no news of ruins I smell? I'm bored out my senses Publishers will give me...heck Got no imagination! Lack of exploration! I got writer's block hanging like a rock I stink at real fiction writing Every book that I pen, Change the name and then Story of my life It's all true, even the fighting! Now, all I got left are these puzzle maps. But just these aren't enough to make books or scraps! I miss Ahuizotl And his set-up traps... I got no imagination! Lack of exploration! You better believe it, dude! Yessiree! 152. That's What Pens Are For(Note: Sung to the tune of The Jungle Book's "That's What Friends Are For") Sung by Rarity The post office has officially gone on Rarity's list of enemies. For you see, the last time she was there to pick up a package, she had to wait in line with no air conditioning, there was a crying foal the entire time, and the only pen at the desk was being used by somepony Rarity swore was writing a novel rather than signing any paperwork. "WHY AREN'T THERE MORE PENS!? TELL ME!" Y NO PENS!? Y NO PENS!? Y NO PENS ON THE COUNTER'S END!? (the counter's end) The post office (the post office) Is hot and stinks! (is hot and stinks) It is the worst (It is the worst) Possible thing! (possible thing) And WHY THE HAY ARE THERE NO PENS When a line's reaching the door!? That's what pens are for! There are SIX counters at the desk With naught to scrawl That's what pens are for! And when a foal is bawling I'm Hating some guy for wasting time I just wanted my package And then LEAVE this place I'm never coming back, I'd rather spray my eyes with mace! (Eyes with mace) The line was long It was too hot A foal did scream And there was not Another pen With which to write the final score! DON'T THEY KNOW WHAT PENS ARE FOR!? Author's Note Can you tell what I've been watching recently? 153. Nothing In The World (Was Learnt Today)(Note: Sung to the tune of Aladdin II: The Return Of Jafar's "Nothing In The World (Quite Like A Friend)") Sung by Applejack "Dear Princess Celestia, Ah wanted to share mah thoughts with you. Ah didn't learn anythin'! Ah was right all along!" And with that, Applejack left a very confused Spike holding the quill and scroll in his scaly hand and went off to drink more cider. Twilight made Applejack amend the letter later. Dear Princess Celestia, Ah'm writing to say That Ah didn't learn anything important today! And Ah don't give a fig about tact anyway, Cos Ah'll just drink the day away, Git 'er down! Might be the cider talkin', but I feel just great! We didn't lose the farm and Ah simply can't wait To read 'bout how the Flim-Flam Bros messed up so late And sealed their lyin' no-good fate! Uh huh! Knew all along Ah was totally right Now was there any doubt? Celebratin' through the night As much as Ah like to chat, Ah can't stay Because nothing in the world was learnt today! Dunno if Twilight Sparkle will be cheesed or not, Ah'm sure she'll send apologies and Ah mean lots Ah still think it was worth, Ah don't care 'bout what Consequences that Ah had got! (Oh no!) Ah'm sure Ah'll get a lecture on the royal fare How Ah wouldn't be laughin' if Ah lost with flair But then, the cider's helpin' me to just not care Ah'll get a refill, just wait there... (Hic!) Ah was right, the cheap 'n easy route don't matter, Ah was right, the lazy way just ain't cool Ah was right, If yah took time to put some effort out there Once you get caught you won't feel like a fool! Sure, I COULD say, My friends are my light, Well, Ah knew that also And so Ah cannot write 'Bout my friends who had mah back while in the fray, Because nothing in the world was learnt today! Yup, nothing in the world Nothing in the whole wide world Oh yes, nothing in the world was learnt today! Nothin' in the whole wide world 154. Drink A Smoothie(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King 1 1/2's "Digga Tunnah") Sung by Lyra Heartstrings Lyra sat down, sipping a hay smoothie, and watched as the magic duel between Trixie and Twilight Sparkle unfolded. This was a matter of honor, as the loser would be unceremoniously kicked out of town, seemingly forever. So, just another incident in a series of many, she thought as she went back to her smoothie. What was that? What was what? What was that? What was that? Where? What? Where? Where? What was that? Shhh... Please don't interrupt my smoothie break! Please! Drink a smoothie, Drink, drink a smoothie. When I'm done, I drink another smoothie. Drink a smoothie, Drink, drink a smoothie. I would like to finish this first, Please! Drink a smoothie, Drink, drink a smoothie. Magic duel going on right now? Drink a smoothie, Drink, drink a smoothie. Yeah, that's nice. And this concerns hay smoothies, how? Nah! Drinkin' smoothies is what I do. Hay Mix smoothie, or maybe two. Big incidents are going down. Big incidents aren't new round town, Until this all blows over soon, I'll sip my drink from dusk til noon, Oh, looks like Twilight's got work cut out, Well, hallelujah, let's sing and shout! ...Meh. Drink a smoothie, Drink, drink a smoothie. Magic duel going on right now? Drink a smoothie, Drink, drink a smoothie. Yeah, that's nice. And this concerns hay smoothies, how? Nah! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. Smoothie Lyra Don't Care 157. Not On The Bus(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride's "Not One Of Us") Sung by Octavia Elsewhere, in the world of humans, Octavia wasn't happy with Vinyl Scratch's apparent lack of manners while going out together. Particularly when riding a bus to a posh event like the Canterlot High Fall Formal. Vinyl just blew her off with "What are you, my mother?", but she was determined to make SOMETHING stick. Disgusting, Disgrace You've got some mayonnaise right on your face Disgusting An outrage! Disgrace I moan! Straighten your back please, since you're not at home! Turn that music down! Disgusting An outrage! Disgrace I moan! Show manners outside the house! You've got some mayonnaise right on your face! Tuck your shirt in, it won't hurt it! And leave that alone! Disgusting An outrage! Disgrace I moan! Refrain from picking your nose! Straighten your back please, since you're not at home! Tuck your shirt in, it won't hurt it! Watch the disks Move your kit Other people want to sit Freshen up? Here, use mine My compact mirror But please do it on time Stop pouting, not on the bus Don't embarrass me on the bus While we're riding the bus Please do mind The other passengers Cause they're not so blind They're all staring at what you had done Your tardiness is plain to see on the bus Please don't, not on the bus Disgusting, Disgrace Disgusting, Disgrace Disgusting Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. 162. Stolen Stuff(Note: Sung to the tune of Frozen's "Frozen Heart") Sung by Rarity Twilight watched Rarity swoon in typically dramatic fashion, lamenting the moment she became...a victim. A tragic, TRAGIC victim. "Woe is me! I shall never recover from this injury that has been wrought upon me!" "...English, Rarity," Twilight said, dryly. Rarity sighed. "I was in the zone, Twilight. But, if I must." Last night I was stolen from While all the time I'm sleeping I simply cannot just stay calm! My things that were worth keeping! The indignity, cold and clear Both of them taken from here What's become of them? Oh dear Capture's not enough! Get back my stolen stuff! Hyup! What!? Both of them! Just like that! Hyup! What!? BOTH of them! Just like that! Scandalous! Horrible! Worst. Possible! Thing! It was just tragic, feeling the sting. It's worse than one! It's worse than ten! Hundred Bluebloods yet again! Yes! Last night I was stolen from While all the time I'm sleeping I simply cannot just stay calm! My things that were worth keeping! Indignity, loud and clear What has happened's what I fear! Opal and True Blue's gone from here Things have gotten rough! Get back my stolen stuff! "Uh...who?" Twilight asked. 163. A Pilot's Life For Me(Note: Sung to the tune of Pirates Of The Caribbean's "A Pirate's Life For Me") Sung by Rainbow Dash Ever since she was a little girl, all Rainbow Dash ever wanted was to become part of the Wonderbolts. She wanted her very own plane to just go fast and perform the greatest aerial stunts that you ever saw with her idols. If she ever met her pony counterpart, she'd be insanely jealous over the fact she doesn't NEED a plane to fly. Or be limited to just Mach 2.8 speeds. Heave ho, heave ho, a pilot's life for me! I'll soon be joining the Wonderbolt team, I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! I'll make it through high school and get a degree, I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! Heave ho, heave ho, a pilot's life for me! I'll fly in formation at Mach 2.8, I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! A new pilot's license will soon be my fate! I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! Heave ho, heave ho, a pilot's life for me! The sports club's my ticket through fitness exam, I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! A helix and barrel-roll with glitz and glam! I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! Be the very best like no-one ever was! I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! The queues will be long to watch planes flown by us! I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! Get on the team even if I must use force, I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! But I'll still give out discounts for friends of course! I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! Heave ho, heave ho, a pilot's life for me! Author's Note As requested by deathtap. 167. Let Them Be Food To You(Note: Sung to the tune of The Great Mouse Detective's "Let Me Be Good To You") Sung by Trixie When Sunset Shimmer took the Element of Magic and transformed into a raging she-demon, some acted bravely. Upon spying the monstrous form terrorizing Canterlot High, Trixie BRAVELY decided to throw her classmates under the bus. Darkest fiend, unholy girl Listen to my song Don't eat me, I have to live Still have a life long Let me bring you here An offering dear Hey, Sunset I still have friends Get ready Eat them instead Gobble my classmates first in a stew Let them be food to you Cos Trixie Has not got much to spare Too stringy I've only got crackers on me Not much to see Accept this Here sacrifice I do hope This satisfies Brought all the students I could Let them be food to you Hey, Sunset I'll bring some freshmen too Hey, Sunset There's nothin' I won't do Just for you So make sure You don't eat me Get cozy Just leave me be Hey girl, I'm talkin' to you I hope your mercy shows through Let them be food to you Yeah! Author's Note As requested by deathtap. 170. Run-For-It-Ivity(Note: Sung to the tune of So Dear To My Heart's "Stick-To-It-Ivity") Sung by Flim and Flam Flim and Flam glanced at each other, and the growing crowd of angry ponies that they had conned out of their money. Only one thing was left: the routine procedure that both brothers had become accustomed to. Make like a tree and get outta here. Bing bang zam. Hey, hey there, don't tell me they turned on us Now, where there's a will, there's a way to do it But, we'll never escape if we don't stick to it Now, let us make like anti aging cream and vanish right now We're not welcome here, let's go 'fore we get in a row Now, our latest invention, we sold to these chumps Just pieces of junk we found in the dumps Studied how the suckers think, had it down pat Said, "We're gonna sell all the snake-oil, stat!" Because they thought that they worked All of Manehatten, the berks, Gave us their cash like One, two, three Now, the crowds are kinda angry, they beat our sail Like a hurricane, a furious gale Should we be lingering, wait on the spot? Don't know 'bout you Flim, but I think not! On this eventful day, we should both run away! Why, I say, "Run-for-it-ivity If you've got that stuff called Run-for-it-ivity We gotta split, just go!" All of our earned money gonna get refunded Run-for-it-ivity means we keep the dough! Yes siree (Yes siree) Yes siree (Yes siree) You spot your chance, take the opportunity By applyin' Run-for-it-ivity If you've got that stuff called Run-for-it-ivity And keep your head down low (Land Ho, Land Ho) We're be alright, we know Now, don't think these ponies are the only ones Who we both swindled outta their sums Yes, Flim and Flam, made our pitch Left others in the ditch! Now, torch and pitchforks handed 'round Mob forming up tight Staring angrily to start up a fight Twice he came to visit, twice we duped the town Sold a useless product by sundown We thought "Maybe, they're not dumb, Surely somepony remembers who the two of us are!" Apparently, they don't, lucky us, idiots. Ponies kept a-buyin', buyin' all our stuff Before they realized it's a load of duff Now they're really angry, Flam, it's time to scram Moving to the next town for our scam On this eventful day, we should both run away! Says I, "Brother of mine, Run-for-it-ivity If you've got that stuff called Run-for-it-ivity We gotta split, just go! All of our earned money gonna get refunded Run-for-it-ivity means we keep the dough! Yes siree (Yes siree) Yes siree (Yes siree) You spot your chance, take the opportunity By applyin' Run-for-it-ivity If you've got that stuff called Run-for-it-ivity And keep your head down low (Land Ho, Land Ho) We're be alright, we know (Yes, siree, yes, siree) (You spot your chance, take the opportunity ) (By applyin' Run-for-it-ivity ) (If you've got that stuff called Run-for-it-ivity ) (We're be alright, we know) (We're be alright, we know) 172. Something Cares(Note: Sung to the tune of Beauty And The Beast's "Something There") Sung by Queen Chrysalis and The Cute Citizens of Wuvy-Dovey Land Dramatically banished from Canterlot after the Royal Wedding invasion failed, Queen Chrysalis and the rest of the Changeling Army crashed into what appeared to be a rather small village. Just then, a small cat-like creature that oozed 'obnoxiously cute' at first glance happily welcomed them into the village with a cupcake. The changelings found it rather bewildering that they would welcome clearly dangerous creatures like them so openly. But, well, Chrysalis isn't daft enough to pass up a good thing. Walking buffets for everyone, she declared! They're rather sweet And very kind There's lots of love to go around on which we'll dine They're not too bright, of that I'm sure I wonder why we didn't find this place before? They came this way Something we saw They sucked us dry and left us shaking on the floor? No it can't be, I'll just ignore Because we've never seen these new best friends before! They're really stupid, golly Who'd have ever thought that this could be? They're walking dinner trolleys We're sucking their love and they simply do not see Well, who'd have thought? (I think they are) Not that I care... (Too dumb to live) We should throw them a welcome party in the square! Good grief, they're stupid! We'll wait and see, a few days more At least while something cares, we won't starve like before At least while something cares, we won't starve like before At least while something cares, we won't starve like before Author's Note Based on the comics. 174. Seize The Mare(Note: Sung to the tune of Newsie's "Seize The Day") Sung by Rarity Rarity knew Rainbow Dash was hardly the embodiment of ladylike, but was it REALLY too much to ask to stop and help her up as she fell out of the cart chasing after Applejack at Dodge Junction? As she cranked the handle of the hoofcar with Pinkie Pie, who wouldn't shut up about chimmycherrychangas, Rarity was sure of one thing. She would not be held responsible for her actions next time she met Rainbow Dash. When I get home I'll seize that mare I'll bring the pain on her everywhere Pinkie, stop talking Silence that squawking Rainbow Dash will pay When I get home someday When I get home I'll seize that mare She always flies so she won't care If her legs are broken Thus I have spoken I shall seize the mare She's gonna get it, seize the mare How could I know that she'd go there? Proud and defiant I'll punch the giant I shall seize the mare Lady to ruffian Pony to cur I'll kick the lesson into her When I get home I'll seize that mare I'll bring the pain on her everywhere Pinkie, stop talking Silence that squawking Rainbow Dash will pay Lady to ruffian Pony to cur I'll kick the lesson into her 178. Into The Open Street(Note: Sung to the tune of Brave's "Into The Open Air") Sung by Berry Punch Berry Punch checked her situation. Nope, the last of the Sugar Punch from last night HAD left her system. Her face fell. That meant that Big Macintosh really WAS dragging her house across Ponyville in a Love Poison-fueled fit of madness. And that she'd have to explain to the mailmare the next day why she didn't live at Number 42 anymore. This road, it is a distant trot, because my home being dragged round a lot! This house it is a moving log, dragging a mark on the road where it slogs. I tried to shout to the guy in front, but each word I spoke only met with grunts! Could these walls come crumbling down? The frames on my wall fell to the ground, My home insurance won't cover these, Dragged into the open street! And now I need a good hard drink, What I've just tasted should do it, I think... How will it feel when the mail comes in? I won't live at number forty-two again! Some mad farmpony dragged my home, The bricks and mortar and all the chrome. How'd he carry this with naught but feet, Into the open street? Into the open street (into the open street). Into the open street. This house it is a moving log. Author's Note As requested by Flightning. No wonder the poor mare drinks so much. 183. She's A Temp(Note: Sung to the tune of Lady And The Tramp's "He's A Tramp") Sung by Fluttershy "We'll be alright. We even have a replacement." Those words didn't fill Rainbow Dash with confidence, as she looked at the pony filling in for her position on the Ponyville Equestrian Games team. A grey mare with a goofy smile and eyes that don't look the same way don't exactly exude "Ace". She's a temp, ba boom boom But we need her She's the only Spare for us She's a temp That we found here And I only hope She'll care for us She's a temp She's the filler She's our only Substitute She's a temp But she's nowhere Near your own skill At least she's pretty cute... Twilight Sparkle says That without you Our odds drop By sixty percent And so we asked for Decent fliers But the mailmare was What they sent She's a temp The spare Rainbow And there's nothing More to say If she's a temp Not a good one And I wish that you Could come back our way Could come back our way Could come back our way Could come back our way 184. At The Stall(Note: Sung to the tune of Cinderalla III: A Twist In Time's "At The Ball") Sung by Pinkie Pie and Crafty Crate Haggling at the market for cherries is a battle of wits. Some, like Rarity, try the negotiator's path on settling for the most reasonable deal for both. Others, like Rainbow Dash, would rather pay the cheapest price and find out who's patience runs out first. And when all else fails, there's always the Pinkie-approved method of reverse-psychology-except-not-really. I am trying to pay a very normal fee Normal fee? Two bits per cherry is daylight robbery! Not to me! Well, I say one bit per cherry, that's as much you'll get from me They cost half the price elsewhere, would you agree? I don't agree! At the stall At the stall At the stall Down at the stall We are haggling over cherries at the stall I'm not budging from my stance of fourteen bits Fourteen bits I'm not paying twenty eight and call it quits Call it quits Cos I know that in Canterlot you get them for half the price It's the same story for sprouts and peas and rice Not right! Cos at the stall At the stall At the stall Down at the stall We are haggling over cherries at the stall So what I'm saying is that fourteen's where I stand Where you stand It's the most reasonable deal in the land! Twenty eight and that's final! Well I think that price is crazy and you think I'm dumb as wood Cos the price you ask is clearly just no good! Just no good!? I'll pay fourteen Twenty eight! Twenty eight! It's fourteen! Twenty eight or none at all! But it's fourteen, if you recall! Okay then! Deal! Fourteen it is! We've overcome the wall! Well I'm glad it all got settled at the stall! Oh wait. Crud. 188. Whine, Whine, Whine(Note: Sung to the tune of Pocahontas's "Mine, Mine, Mine") Sung by Rarity, Spike and the Diamond Dogs Spike ran back to Ponyville in a panic and just about relayed that Rarity had been kidnapped by Diamond Dogs to the others. And so, the remaining 5 friends hurried to the mines to rescue the surely helpless hostage. The reality couldn't be more different. You ruffians and brutes You thuggish marenappers You three are in cahoots Your clothes just aren't dapper Oh I am not whining Complaints' what they are But...I will 'til my throat's sore, boys Watch what you wish for, boys WHINE, BOYS, WHINES THAT SHAKE MOUNTAINS TOO TIGHT, BOYS, IT'S GONNA CHAFE MAKE IT LOOSE, BOYS! Truce, boys? HARNESS TOO RUSTY! THE WAGON'S TOO DUSTY! I'LL SEND SHIVERS RIGHT DOWN YOUR SPINE! I'll screech and I'll whine, whine, whine No! Shut up! Shut up! Stop whining there! No! Shut up! Shut up! Stop whining there! Hey nonny nonny Ho nonny nonny CAN YOU NOT LOOSEN IT? Hey nonny nonny Ho nonny nonny IT DIGS IN MY SIDE! Hey nonny nonny Ho nonny nonny TAKE TIME TO SPRUCE UP IT... And I'll keep it up if you've lied! All my friends back home It's not that I'm bitter I find it amusing To make these jerks quitters! I'll break their resolve And go home with some glitter I'm not in a hurry Despite all their worry! I'll WHINE, WHINE, WHINE 'TIL YOU'RE SORRY I'LL WHINE, BOYS DON'T WANNA PULL THAT! IT'S DIRTY AS SIN... CLEAN UP OR I'LL LOSE IT! WHY DON'T YOU DOLTS CHOOSE IT? (Should I stop and draw up a line?) Nah, I think that I'll just WHINE! No! Shut up! Shut up! Stop whining there! No! Shut up! Shut up! Stop whining there! Hurry up girls, Rarity got stolen By villains! Got dragged down a series of tunnels I couldn't design I'll charge down the deepest holes And I don't care, I'm willin'! A damsel in distress Who's under duress The greatest adventure is mine! I'M NOT WORKING, CADS SINCE YOU'RE SHIRKING, LADS WHINE, BOYS, WHINE I'LL WHINE 'TIL I DROP 'TIL THEN I WON'T STOP Gah,we want to cry! We want to up and die! Shut! Up! And get to work Shut! Up! Ow my ears... Shut your pie hole's My goal! YOU'VE GOT NO MANNERS AND BRAINS JUST LIKE SPANNERS This game is quite fun given time! Hold on, Rarity! Just listen to me I won't turn and flee! This charming lady Won't do as told I'll... WHINE! WHINE! WHINE! WHINE! She's not shutting up! Why'd we bring it here? Boy it hurts our ears! Kill those voices! Enough with those noises, don't Whine! No! Shut up! Shut up! Stop whining there! Hey nonny nonny nonny don't whine! 191. Up, Down, Blast The Ground(Note: Sung to the tune of Winnie The Pooh And The Honey Tree's "Up, Down, Touch The Ground") Sung by Applejack Applejack felt that there should probably be some context as to why Rainbow Dash was punching and kicking the barn to splinters when she arrived. "Yes, ma'am. I wanted to put up a new barn, but this one's gotta come down first." Up-straight-up She flies up, down, blasts the ground To tear the barn apart Up, down, blast the ground Finish what she start Bring the barn down, and Ah have found Speaking simple-like, She'll weapon-ise the Rainboom Finish in one strike "Now get to it, RD." "You got it boss!" Rainbow flapped her wings, and started to fly directly upwards. "Thank you. Now, where was Ah?" Oh, yes, I'm payin' for the strafin'. Time to duck down low. The old barn's spent, it's got some dents And so with all her might Fly up, down, take down Cos we don't have til tonight Flyin' up, down, smash the ground Take cover, if Ah were you (Mmm, she's reached maximum height) With a hefty-heavy Sonic-boom Send the barn off, toodle-oo. With a hefty-heavy Sonic-boom Send the barn off, toodle-oo. "Ah'd take cover if Ah were you," Applejack remarked to Twilight, adjusting her crash helmet and her internal earmuffs. Twilight glanced up, quickly spotted what was about to happen, and did exactly as Applejack advised, seconds before there was an almighty explosion of brightly coloured awesomeness eviscerating Applejack's old barn. 193. Punch The Spy(Note: Sung to the tune of Brave's "Touch The Sky") Sung by Rainbow Dash Was Twilight Sparkle a spy? Rainbow Dash didn't know for sure, but she figured roughing the newcomer Twilight Sparkle up a bit would get her to explain just what WERE the Elements of Harmony and how she knew so much about Nightmare Moon. When Nightmare Moon comes calling, and the sky is darkened black Twilight Sparkle knew it'd happen, and what will come back to back I will doubt, I will fly, chase the mare and punch the spy I will fly, chase the mare and punch the spy La la la la La la la la La la la la la la la La la la la La la la la La la la la la la la That new mare hides secrets, sounds like she's in league with her She has to be suspicious, of that I'm really sure She will tell us every story, and say what's going down Oh that's right, and most importantly, how do we go save the town I will doubt, I will fly, chase the mare and punch the spy I will fly, chase the mare and punch the spy And punch the spy, chase the mare Chase the mare, punch the spy La la la la La la la la La la la la la la la La la la la La la la la La la la la la la la And punch the spy Chase the mare Chase the mare Punch the spy Author's Note As requested by Flightning. I literally only need 5 or so new songs to use guys, seriously! I am this close to 200 now and I intend to get it DONE! Pitch what you can, just don't suggest "When Does My Life Begin" since I'm writing that up now. 196. Behind The Clowns(Note: Sung to the tune of Cars's "Behind The Clouds") Sung by Rainbow Dash Party Polka vs Party Cannon. Who would win in a fight to the ~~death~~ end? That was what was on everypony's mind as Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie Pie threw down to decide who would manage Rainbow Dash's birth-iversary. As judge, Rainbow reminded herself of the rules...in song, obviously. When I'm in hysterics, stunned with much mirth, Seems like the winner will celebrate my birth Feel free to joke and sing and dance Or even play or joke, perform or prance Behind the clowns, the goof off's starting soon Believe me, even I can't call who'll win the town Who has the most punch and pizzazz and boom? But there's a big fun prize waiting right behind the clowns I've heard it said that this Sandwich guy Good times or bad times, don't give up, but why? But thinking that Pinkie will back down and quit Is like thinking a candle won't snuff when it's even lit Behind the clowns, the goof off's starting soon Believe me, even I can't call who'll win the town Who has the most punch and pizzazz and boom? But there's a big fun prize waiting right behind the clowns Yeah, there's a big fun prize waiting right behind the clowns 198. I Want You All(Note: Sung to the tune of High School Musical 3: Senior Year's "I Want It All") Sung by Jim the Cave Troll Twilight certainly found the behaviour of the cave troll in front of them to be fascinating, as well as their size, which was apparently bigger than The Cave Dweller's Reference Guide said they were. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash would probably have agreed were it not for the fact they were being ponyhandled by a hulking grey monster that smelled really funny. IMAGINE HABIN' EVEWYFING I EBUR DWEAMED WHAT I NAME IT? F'WUFFY! HOW 'BOUT DIS ONE? IT'S GEORGE IMAGINE PWETAH PONAY IN MY CAVE HERE I GET DAH BWUSH! PWETAH PONAY? WELL OF COURSE YEAH PLEASE! I GOTTA HUG IT AND SQUEEZE IT I WIW TAKE CARE O' DEM WHILE STAYIN' IN MAH DEN! SOUND EXCITING? INVITING LET'S DO IT THEN KEEPING DEM! HAIR BWUSHY BWUSHY, PWETAH HAR ON PWETAH PONAY BUT WHERE DO I KEEP ALL DA PONAYS? RIGHT 'ER IN MAH CAVE! CALL THIS ONE FIWEFWY! COLLECT THE PONAYS THAT'S BETTAH JIM CAN SEE DAT BIGGAH IS BETTAH AND BETTAH IS BIGGAH A WIDDLE BIT IS NEVAH ENUF NO, NO, NO! DON'T I WANT YOU ALL! I HUG YA, AND SQUEEZE YA, CALL YOU GEORGE THE CUTE WIDDLE PONAYS AND MORE I WANT YOU ALL, I WANT YOU, YOU KNOW DAT I WANT YOU I KEEP YOU ALL LINED UP ON DA FLOOR I WANT PONAYS, NUFFIN LESS, PWETAH HAR COMBED AND PWESSED IT GET VEWY LONELY IN DA CAVE . SING IT! I WANT YOU ALL I WANT YOU, I WANT YOU, YEAH SIT ON DA SHEWF IN CAVERN WALLS I WANT YOU ALL! CAN'T YOU SEE IT YEAH I'M GONNA WUV YOU UH-HUH I MEAN DAT! COW PONAY, PINK PONAY, AND WHITE PONAY CALLED GEORGE FWIEND FOR JIM, DON'T STOP ME, I'M WON'T GIB UP DAH PONAYS FWIENDLY FACES, OF CUDDLY WACES CUDDLE DESE? YES PWEASE GONNA GIB DEM ALL A SQUEEZE! YA CAN WUN, BUT HEY, YA CAN'T WUN FWOM OLD JIMMAY YOU NOW MAH PONAY! I LIKE IT I KEEP YOU THEN I KNOW, BE CAREFUL, PONAYS, BE GENTLE DEY ONLY SMALL, SO JIM SHOULD WATCH OUT!! NEW BEST FWIEND? FINK BIGGAH WIDDLE PONAY FWIENDS.... DAT'S BETTAH! JIM CAN SEE DAT BIGGAH IS BETTAH AND BETTAH IS BIGGAH A WIDDLE BIT IS NEVAH ENUF NO, NO, NO! DON'T I WANT YOU ALL! I HUG YA, AND SQUEEZE YA, CALL YOU GEORGE THE CUTE WIDDLE PONAYS AND MORE I WANT YOU ALL, I WANT YOU, WANT YOU I KEEP YOU ALL LINED UP ON DA FLOOR I WANT PONAYS, NUFFIN LESS, PWETAH HAR COMBED AND PWESSED IT GET VEWY LONELY IN DA CAVE . I WANT YOU ALL! I WANT YOU, WANT YOU, WANT YOU, PURPLE ONE, BLUE ONE, PINK ONE'S SMALL I WANT YOU ALL!! HERE IN DA CAVE WHERE JIM LIVE, LOOK AT WHAT I HAVE WHEN PONAY FWIENDS AWWIVE, JIMMAY JUST HAD TO LAFF! YAY! I WANT YOU, I-I I WANT YOU, I WANT YOU, I WANT YOU, I-I, I WANT YOU, I WANT YOU, I WANT I-I I WANT YOU! THE CUTE WIDDLE PONAYS AND MORE I WANT YOU ALL, I WANT YOU, YOU KNOW DAT I WANT YOU I KEEP YOU ALL LINED UP ON DA FLOOR I WANT PONAYS, NUFFIN LESS, PWETAH HAR COMBED AND PWESSED IT GET VEWY LONELY IN DA CAVE . I WANT YOU ALL! PINK ONE! WHITE ONE! BLUE! PURPLE ONE! COW GIRL! YELLOW! EVEN SMALL ONES! BIG ONES! TALL ONES! FAT WOUND ONES! SKINNAY ONES! NO MATTAH WHAT!! I WANT YOU ALL!! Author's Note Based on the comics.
72. Ol' Ms. Harshwhinny(Note: Sung to the tune of 101 Dalmatians's "Cruella De Vil") Sung by Rainbow Dash Ms. Harshwhinny is the inspector for the Equestria Games, and is all about standards. Always. So of course it would be inevitable that the pony with generally very low standards in appearance like Rainbow Dash would clash. At least Dash has the performance levels for her team set as high as Ms. Harshwhinny's, so there's at least one thing in common. Ol' Ms. Harshwhinny That Ms. Harshwhinny If there is a problem, I betcha she'll see From one to ten, she'd rate you as a three Judge harshly, Ol' Ms. Harshwhinny The curl of her lips The ice in her stare Equestria Games staff should really take care To meet her standards and go escape free Finicky, Ol' Ms. Harshwhinny At first you think Harshwhinny is a demon But maybe there's a heart beneath the stone I mean, she did help Spike Light the torch and the like But still with her, don't go on in alone! Professionalism Is hard to maintain She sets bars high and don't take them down again I'd rather it were somepony but me I have to face Ms. Harshwhinny Author's Note As requested by BrownDog77
74. HAPPY Holiday(Note: Sung to the tune of Mary Poppins's "Jolly Holiday") Sung by Pinkie Pie and...Maud Pie? When Pinkie gets any free time with her sister Maud, she wants to do everything together. Maud does love her, and so would gladly do anything. Even sing songs Pinkie wrote herself. It...loses something when you hear Maud sing in front of a live audience though. It’s a fantasmical day I’ll take all that comes my way I feel so carefree Have you ever seen A pony so keen? It’s quite hard to see… Oh, it's a happy holiday with Pinkie Oh yes, Pinkie wrote this song Because my voice is boring and quite off-key So you’re all meant to sing along! Oh I am just exploding with excitement I know I don’t sound happy, but I am I cannot quite express my great happiness To get the point across without a mess Oh, it's a jolly holiday with Pinkie I’m actually as happy as a clam! Oh, it's a happy holiday with Pinkie Oh yes, Pinkie wrote this song Because my voice is boring and quite off-key So you’re all meant to sing along! Oh my facial expressions don’t change much Have I smiled since I started this tune…? Pinkie says, no not yet, but she’s willing to bet This song will show there’s a message to get Oh, it's a jolly holiday with Pinkie I think Pinkie takes over singing soon…now. Oh, it's a HAPPY holiday with you, Maud Nopony else could really tell That you are just excited to be here, Maud You think everything is swell! Her mouth just raised by two nanometers That’s how you tell she’s happy to be here I was hoping you’d Sing along, you could, Cause Maud’s voice needs training! Shame on you Oh, it's a happy holiday with you, Maud A jolly, HAPPY holiday with you! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. For added effect, sing in the most boring voice you can muster.
76. With A Bear(Note: Sung to the tune of Bedknobs And Broomsticks's "With A Flair") Sung by Fluttershy Twilight Sparkle was walking around town, looking for a friendship problem. Looking for ANY friendship problem. So she thought of Fluttershy and her shy, reserved nature that made her an easy bullying target... And when she arrived, she saw Fluttershy twisting a bear's legs and kicking him in the back. With much unnecessary ferocity. But that's the only way to properly massage a bear, though. Oh, it really doesn’t matter if it’s rough, if it’s rough As long as I do it with a bear In order to relieve tension I believe I need to mention He has to loosen up for massage care I’m a caretaker, a masseuse, a nanny, But they love me...everywhere. Don't pay broken bones or twisting any heed, any heed As long as I do it with a bear And it really doesn’t matter how I move, how I move As long as I wrestle with a bear! I will now perform my best suplex to let the bear relax and rest And not resort to my best hypnotic stare. When I hear the crack, I can relieve that back And then massage him everywhere! For it really doesn’t matter how much force, how much force I have bent both his legs backwards or he’ll end up suffering worse To relieve tension in his neck Give a…SUPER TWIST! It works wonders, every time! Warm my hooves, do my best, a flying kick to his chest. In fact, to coin a fitting phrase, I take care of the rest! So it really doesn’t matter how it looks, how it looks As long as I do it with a bear. Ease the stiffness he had before I pile-drive him to the floor My massage skills is far beyond compare. I’m a mare, I’m first, a guardian, a nurse, I will ease him up everywhere. For, it really doesn’t matter what I do, what I do… I can cut loose and go wild if it stops him getting riled! Cos regular massages tickle, so to stop him being so fickle I jump all over his spine to hear him moan and growl and whine, Because no matter how rough I get, I know Bearington can take it You love me cause I do it, with a bear! Author's Note I choose to believe she really WAS wrestling a bear to loosen it up in Lesson Zero. I mean, I don't think that's hard to misinterpret...
4. The Scare Necessities(Note: Sung to the tune of The Jungle Book's "The Bare Necessities") Sung by Pipsqueak Nightmare Night is Pipsqueak's favourite holiday in all of Equestria. One reason was because it's associated with his favourite Princess, Luna. But there's also the free candy. He's only young, after all. Look for the scare necessities The simple scare necessities That gets you candy all of Nightmare Night... I mean the scare necessities That gets you chocolate recipes You'll need the scare necessities for life! Princess Luna's visiting, turns up at my home I wanna show off my Forbidden Tome Don't worry, it's a replica! Raising the dead's reaching too far But you know my costume is a hit The fangs will make the crowd spit their bit Through my neck, a fake screw... The scare necessities of life will come to you They'll come to you! Look for the scare necessities The simple scare necessities I see adults in hockey masks all wielding knives! But the scare necessities Are all you need, so rest at ease With just the scare necessities for life They're overcompensating... Too scary for kids It's not good for dating Hiding in the midst... But you all know I'm a big colt now And Princess Luna keeps the Nightmares out But I don't need to use the saw To haul my candy loot right back to my door Have I given you a clue? The scare necessities of life will come to you They'll come to you! So just try and relax, yeah cool it We're all just here to have fun 'Cause this stuff only happens once a year We're gonna party all night, uh huh Til the morning sun I don't spend my time lookin' around There's only so much candy to be found And Princess Luna's coming with me We'll be apple bobbing later by the tree On that note: it's all true... The scare necessities of life will come to you
5. Prince Blueblood(Note: Sung to the tune of Aladdin's "Prince Ali") Sung by Rarity and a crowd of really annoyed ponies One of Rarity's most famous incidents in Ponyville was her complete and utter meltdown at the Grand Galloping Gala, having had to put up with a pompous jerk known only among the Canterlot Nobles as Prince Blueblood. She has never forgotten him, as much as she'd like to try... Make way for Prince Blueblood Say hey! It's Prince Blueblood Heavens! Clear the way to the local spa Hey you! Let me through! This has gone too far! Dear me! Never thought I'd meet somepony so rude! Make way! Here he comes! Ring bells! Bang the drums! Are you gonna hate this dude! Prince Blueblood! An arrogant dud From Canterlot City The worthless speck, demands respect "Down on one knee"! I try my best to stay calm And not sling mud from Applejack's farm And get arrested for assaulting royalty Prince Blueblood! As worthless as mud! From Canterlot Castle About as thick as 10 short planks, really not good! He faced the complaining hordes Calling for his head on a sword Who promoted this wretch to a lord? This Prince Blueblood He's once proposed a ban on all nightclubs (DJ-Pon3 was hacked off, you know) And insulted AJ's apple trees (what does HE know about farming?) He spent taxes on a golden bathtub... It's an absolute state! I'd rather not wait, to just end his upper class twit spree Prince Blueblood! Brain made of wood From Canterlot's finest What a jerk! Who never works Sweat, tears or blood! Well, get on out in that square Ready the fruit and prepare Aim for where it hurts! Right "there" at Prince Blueblood! He once built his own private Jacuzzi (Octavia was inconsolable for a week) By demolishing a concert hall (He's arrogant, so arrogant) He's got slaves, he's got servants and flunkies (Their fees are way too thin) They hate working for him Serving his every whim They have no sense of loyalty To Blueblood! Prince Blueblood! Prince Blueblood! Skull like a nut! From Canterlot's centre Compared with the princesses he's plainly no good! And that, good townsfolk, is why he should fall in a grease pit and die He's got a long rap sheet, complaints galore With his scandals and rudeness Disgraces and more With his moronic politics, his sheer greed Angry mobs like a flood Go away, Prince Blueblood!
6. Chimicherry, Cherrychanga(Note: Sung to the tune of Mary Poppins's "Chim Chim Cher-ee") Sung by Pinkie Pie Pinkie Pie is the sort of pony who goes off on several wild tangents. Below describes a thought as to what would be a more appropriate name for a new dish she invented, which she described as "mashed cherries in a tortilla and deep fried". Also, please do not ask Rarity this question unless you have a death wish. Don't ask. Chimicherry, Chimicherry Cherrychanga What's the better name to describe by far? Chimicherry, Chimicherry Cherrycha-hoo, Oh, wait, that's a good name. I might use that too! Honestly, I can't decide between the two! Rarity won't spare me a bit for her thought She gave me a look that'd make zombies rot I will get a name if it's the last thing I do Otherwise I can't serve it as new party food Chimicherry, Chimicherry Cherrychanga What's the better name to describe by far? Chimicherry, Chimicherry Cherrycha-hay, At this rate I'll be stuck deciding all day! Chimicherry, Chimicherry Cherrychanga What's the better name to describe by far? Chimicherry, Chimicherry Cherrycha-wow, Somepony give an opinion now! Applejack says that's it's all up to me, But I can't decide between two names, or three I've thought about combining both names as one To make a big that screams nothing but fun But to make it easier to roll off the tongue, It's a toss up between the first two that sprung, The battle between names rolls on so long! Chimicherry, Chimicherry Cherrychanga Which of these names do you prefer so far? Chimicherrychanga's an option too, So is it, "Chimicherry" or "Cherrychanga" to you? Or "Chimicherrychanga" Cherry-ta-roo!
8. What Made the Head Pony Head(Note: Sung to the tune of Peter Pan's "What Made the Red Man Red") Sung by Princess Celestia There have been many accounts of the history of Equestria, but a rather foggy area in this area is Princess Celestia's exact rise to power. Despite having the Princess herself governing the land, it is still not agreed upon as to how she rose to the throne. Particularly since conflicting accounts such as this one arise (this was a statement given to a witness from the princess herself. Its exact merits are still under scrutiny). Why do you ask me, "Why?" Why do you ask me, "Why?" Once this pony didn't know How to raise the sun or fly But this pony, she sure learnt a lot And it's all from asking, "Why?" Edite, alvi apium Edite, alvi apium I'll tell you what it means It means to be an alicorn I ate a hive of bees When did I first raise the sun? When did I first raise the sun? I'll clear it up once and for all; I made it out of pie Then roundhouse-kicked it in the face To set it up in the sky What made the head pony head? What made the head pony head? Let's go back a million years To the first among my line He fought some evil robot birds And his people came out fine You've got it from the princess The story of our great win-cess No matter what's been written or said Now you know why this head pony's head!
9. Cabbages(Note: Sung to the tune of Pocahontas's "Savages") Sung by Braeburn, Applejack, members of the apple family Chief Thunderhooves and the buffalo tribe Appleoosa is a small town far to the west of Equestria. Probably one of its most famous incidents was when the Six Bearers of Harmony was able to avert a political disaster between the local ponies and buffaloes, which involved an apple plantation encroaching on the buffaloes' territory. Now, some time later, the buffaloes want to start their own cabbage plantation right next to the apple plantation, which doesn't go down with Applejack's cousin Braeburn. After all, apples is srs bizness, u guys. And Braeburn honestly thought he was doing them a favour to try and convince them not to compete with the soil for the apple plantation growing anything as awful as cabbages. Somehow this ended in threats to boil over to a massive dispute over land...again. And Applejack had to play the peacekeeper. What can you expect From dinky little veggies? Their chewy rubbery leaves is like a curse They're boring and they're cheap Good for just the compost heap You'll get in trouble deep And worse They're cabbages! Cabbages! Barely even foodstuff Savages! Savages! Drive them from our shore! Nopony like those things Which means that there's no profit You realize that this means war! They're cabbages! Cabbages! Encroaching on our soil! Now we sound the drums of war! This is what we feared This pony does not see it How we only need a bit of land An acre, maybe two Is all we ask of you Please don't make us force our hand...hoof? They're cabbages! Cabbages! Not as bad as you think Cabbages! Cabbages! What you waiting for? If you will not give us The soil that we all seek We must sound the drums of war They're savages! Savages! First we deal with this one Then we sound the drums of war Cabbages! Cabbages! For the pride of Appleoosa! Savages! Savages! There's too much to lose-a! Cabbages! Cabbages! Why will you not get this? Now we sound the drums of war! -Part 2- Is there nothing ah can do? Will this really be the end? It's barely last week since the last It's driving me around the bend! This will be the day ... (Aaaaaaaaploooosa *whinney*!) This will be the morning ... (Ready the stampede) There's only room for us or them (Ah don't know what I should do Gotta help 'em compromise) Now we make 'em pay This don't make sense in mah eyes Now without a warning ... (Mountain out of a molehill) We drive 'em out of town for who knows when (This happens almost every week...) It's them or us (At this rate ah'll lose the will...) They're just a bunch of what you say 'bout Cabbages! Cabbages! Jerks! Heathens! Get them! Cabbages! Cabbages! What are we waiting for? Evict them from the town Until there's not a trace left (How can I just have the floor?) We will sound the drums of war (Cabbages! Cabbages!) Now, we sound the drums of war (Cabbages! Cabbages!) Now we see what comes Of trying to be chums Now we sound the drums ... of ... war! Of course it means the drums ... of ... war! They really need to cut it out End this feud and settle the score! Author's Note As requested by Awesomo3000
10. Bends To the Other Side(Note: Sung to the tune of The Princess and the Frog's "Friends on the Other Side") Sung by Discord and some chorus back that came out of nowhere The anatomy of a draconequus is somewhat of a shady area of discovery. Not just because the only available draconequus, Discord, doesn't believe in 'straight answers' but also because how a draconequus's existence pretty much defies logic himself. When asked to explain the anatomy of himself, this was how Discord replied: Don't you poke and prod me, little pal! Don't you derogate or deride! Oh are you surprised At my arms Since they bend to the other side! His arms bend to the other side... I can turn you into a table I can belch soda with ease If you relax it will enable me to do anything I please I can un-friend you like this I can spin you a riddle, too I can make your drink fizz the "wrong" way (by the way, can I get a glass of water?) And convincingly fake Blue Flu! Cos my body's Pretty hotty I do things I ain't even tried! I've got arms that bend to the other side! His arms bend to the other side! Okay, okay, I guess I'll tell But did you know I sweat popcorn as well? I can clone myself in sets of three I'm such a great guy so here's more of me! Pfft, who cares about your research paper? Instead I'll tell you 'bout my Canterlot caper! (It's a pretty good yarn, so it's worth it.) My mood was high But my funds were low So I had a chat with Rarity, I know she got dough! Look, I know I'm just talking about my talents here... But time spent with friends is well spent. Apparently. I just wanna be free. Hop from place to place. But freedom... takes green! It's the green, it's the green, it's the green I need And when I looked into my future It's the green that I see! I wanted a vacation to Canterlot City But I needed to get money somehow So I gathered up my wits and so to make a few bits... I just shaved Rarity's head... And sold them as wigs to cows That's how I got where I wanted to be... Wait, I should be talking 'bout my anatomy! Shake my hand. Come on brony. Won't you shake the draconequus's hand? Yes... Are you ready? (Are you ready?) Are you ready? Transformation central! (Transformation central!) Reformation central! (Reformation central!) Transmogrification central! Have you got it? Your research Your research Your research all right? I hope you're satisfied But if you ain't Don't blame me!! And don't forget my arms bend to the other side! He just described strange stuff! Nothing useful for your paper! Hush... Author's Note As requested by Nightmare Haunt.
11. Drama You can Bring(Note: Sung to the tune of Pocahonta's "Colours of the Wind") Sung by Rarity A lady is simply not a lady without a sense of dignity, according to Rarity. That is why she always has on standby a fainting couch for particularly stressful moments. It is not a ploy for attention, it is an art. You think I'm a dramatic pony And you've seen so much disaster And awful fiascos But still you cannot see How to keep your dignity And yet put your disapproval right on show? You don't know ... The fastest way is just to simply black out Shut out all the horrors that you saw But do make sure you get a comfy landing It would not do if your back gets all sore I have my own fainting couch for a reason It cost a pretty penny overseas It's comfy and it all adds to the drama You'll wake up and you'll be more at ease Have you ever really felt like blanking out right there? Or feel like ignoring some really shameful thing? Can you lose your sense of self from the horrors? Can you faint with all the drama you can bring? Can you faint with all the drama you can bring? Dramatic fainting's truly an art form So make sure that you're doing it all right Come hang with all the ruffians all around you And then you'll faint dead away at the sight I recommend the ones with all the pillows All lined with goose feathers and then some And do make sure the outside's easy to clean You never know when a fainting time will come When should your shame feel so low? If you don't black out, then you'll never know And so should you ever feel like blanking out right there And throw your consciousness straight to the wind We do it with the dignity we can muster We need to faint with all the drama you can bring You can stay awake and still Take in awful sights until You can faint with all the drama you can bring!
12. Let Him Plow(Note: Sung to the tune of Frozen's "Let It Go") Sung by Applejack As an Apple Family member, Applebloom likes to do whatever she can to help. Unfortunately, her exuberance does more to hinder than to help, and sometimes she needs convincing to get Big Macintosh to be left alone with his work... Macintosh needs time with the plow tonight And be quietly left alone You know he's not good w' small talk And y'all better watch yer tone He focuses more when he's all by himself So put that there hacksaw back on the shelf Now, Granny Smith could use ya more Down in the kitchen makin' them s'mores Hurry, scurry, lively and quick Granny needs yah now Let him plow, let him plow Can you haul it if it gets stuck? Let him plow, let him plow Well missy, then yer outta luck Ah don't care what you're going to say He's a big and strong pony It's just only one small job anyway (It's funny how she thinks that she can haul around a plow Like how she tried to get her cutie mark lifting a cow It's time to see what ah can do To keep her busy a day or two Once Macintosh has plowed all three He's free) Let him plow, let him plow Ah hear Granny call yer name Let him plow, let him plow She needs yah all the same She can't bake all that by herself You'd better hurry on You can help with mixing the pie dough around (She can't be trusted w' sharp objects around, That's why she won't help with the peelin' just yet) When yer older, then heavier job's you'll get Let him plow, let him plow He'll be done at the break of dawn Let him plow, let him plow So our knobbly field's all gone Tomorrow you've got a busy day So get yer chef hat on You can't shift somethin' so heavy anyway Author's Note As requested by Seanchow806Napoleonic
14. We Multiply(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride's "My Lullaby") Sung by a large army of changelings Chrysalis began her invasion on Canterlot looking for fresh prey for her people. Unfortunately, as Twilight Sparkle explained previously, it didn't end well for them...but that's not to say they didn't come close... Sleep, our little victims Let your love take wing We'll strip of all your free will We're your puppets strings We can morph into anypony, Feed on feelings in their heart Because someone who's all lonely To us is no great start We'll crash the wedding party And drain ponies of their love You may think it ain't arty But when push comes to shove You are us, and we are you We outnumber you ten to two The odds aren't on your side How we multiply What the heck is going on With these six lone mares? Nopony told us we'd be set upon They caught us unawares That farmer has some awful kicks The pegasus knows kung-fu The purple one has lots of tricks, The white one's belting you! You just fell flat on your face? The yellow one should know her place! I have confetti in my eye! We must multiply! What a mess... but a nation's on our side To work our way around We still have strength in numbers... And now the threats are down! We'll march them to the castle! Where Celestia fell! They'll never stand up to our queen Not a hope in h-! Wait, where's that glowing coming from? It feels just like a mighty storm It feels like lovin' (Tartarus!) I can hear the cheering (Too much of a good thing, aye?!) Payback time is nearing Explode before our eyes Sent flying towards the skies... Our plans are nullified! Author's Note As requested by Blue Sparkle 227
15. Can you Feed the Doves Tonight?(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King's "Can you Feel the Love Tonight?") Sung by Fluttershy One night, Fluttershy had to attend an important nightly checkup for a narwhal who seemed to keep skipping out on their appointments. So, on that occasion, she had tasked her assistant and pet rabbit Angel with giving the doves their midnight snack, before turning in for the night. "Don't want them waking up hungry," she said. It took some persistence; after all, Angel hates doing things that he doesn't like. The furry jerk. This checkup's important And so it's up to you You must give the doves their nourishment And the chickens too Tonight you do it and I'll Promise to do their brunch If you do I'll make your favorite salad For tomorrow's lunch Can you feed the doves tonight? Can you do this small task? You could for once do what you're meant to Without me having to ask... The longer I take asking The longer Narwhal has To plan her awfully big getaway And let the evening pass I'll bribe you with your favorite Salad fresh from the crop With the tomatoes, cress and orange slice And whipped cream on top Can you feed the doves tonight? You needn't go too far It's just a simple half-mile walk From there to where you are Cause if you don't go do it tonight It can be assumed I will have to unleash the dreaded Stare You will sense impending Doom
16. What a Day in Ponyville(Note: Sung to the tune of Pocahontas 2: Journey to a New World's "What a Day in London") Sung by Twilight Sparkle and the residents of Ponyville Ponyville seems to be the centre of where everything interesting happens in town. Like Nightmare Moon, an Ursa Minor attack, Discord...oh well, at least they don't have to deal with traffic. This is a record of one particular incident that ended up eating quite a lot of the town's budget (emphasis on 'eat'). A swarm of Parasprites ate most of the town's food, before moving on to the town, and then finally being led away by a one-pony marching band to the Everfree Forest. If anypony asks, it was Twilight's fault. The sun comes up, the lamps go down A new day in Ponyville town It makes you think, "I hope and pray, Something fun happens today!" While shops are stocked and kids are fed, DJ-Pon3 heads home to bed. Oh what's this? Looks like a bug, Oh look, it's smiling really smug! What a day in Ponyville Come and see who's here Everyone knows someone They come from far and near A brand new day Brings luck our way Nothing could go all wrong Except perhaps a lot of things But odds against are strong... Oh lookie there! There's two, no, four! Good heavens, now there's even more! These smiley bugs emptied the fridge, They've spread as far as by the bridge The swarms have stripped us of our food Even the stuff that's off. How crude! At this rate we face poverty If there's no food in sight to see What a day in Ponyville! What are the odds of this!? It's just like last Tuesday... (Gasp) Look up Is that Twilight Sparkle I see? She's casting there They've stopped and stared They're hovering in the air? ...NOW THEY'RE EATING MY CENTRAL HEATING! And my purse too My chimney flue You screwed up beyond repair! My heart is pounding like a drum I can't believe my eyes I only tried to cast a spell for creatures of small size It was supposed to stop them from eating normal food Now they've started on inedible stuff like wood And metal and plastic and glass and lots more This is all nothing like I've seen before Eating Rarity's hats And roofs that shine with flags Flying higher than a pine She seemed so sweet She meant us well SHE SCREWED THINGS UP! How can you tell? The town itself is pretty doomed I wonder if my mom has room... How can I stop this disaster With everything on the line? The parasprites Eat all in sight No way it'll turn out fine! Zecora has just told me we're doomed this very day And Pinkie wants a banjo and has just run away These things are like locusts crossed with bees There's only one viable remedy An exact perfect replica of the town, Less than a minute to set it down! What a day in Ponyville We woke up to a mess A bunch of insects showed up And ate my fancy dress! This day's become a day Nopony's likely to forget A day we'll all remember As the day a town was ate! Wait, what's that? It sounds like drums A tuba and a trombone comes Cymbals crashing's what I hear Listen up, it's drawing near! It's Pinkie Pie's one-pony band! Look, the pests follow her and She leads them away from the town Hooray for music from this clown! What a day in Ponyville Another crisis stopped The pink party pony Caused the swarm to flop We're spared the end I'm round the bend We could have stopped all this (She could have stopped all this!?) What a mad exciting day Could be worse is what we say How normal this Ponyville day turned out to be! Author's Note As requested by keam.
17. Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts on Explosions(Note: Sung to the tune of Mary Poppins's "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious") Sung by Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo The Cutie Mark Crusaders have tried pretty much everything to try and earn their cutie marks, to no avail. However, there is still one frontier that the three fillies have not yet tried... Celestia help us all, it's pyrotechnics and explosives. Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts on Explosions! Looking for our special talents to spend our devotions! Experience don't matter much, it's all about emotions! Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts on Explosions! Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay! We've tried a dogfight out in space But it was all a trap And once we all tried bird-keeping They got into a flap But still there's one thing we have all Not yet begun to try Can we all earn our cutie marks In making objects fry? Oh! Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts on Explosions! What could possibly go wrong, it don't sound that atrocious! We aim to make infernos that are really quite ferocious! Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts on Explosions! Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay! We tried to paint an elephant But we ran out of red And once we all tried parkour But we nearly wound up dead A song we sent for this fanfic Got a "Rejected" stamp I hope the author comes down with A vicious finger cramp! Oh, Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts on Explosions! Flames and powder set up to cause quite a big commotion We could also make a highly volatile potion Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts on Explosions! Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay! So when we have exhausted All our other choices here Pyrotechnics is the last thing to place our hopes and fears Blowing things up is all we have So let's give it a shot! We'll make a show that's gonna blow Your mind that ultra hot! With The Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts on Explosions! Hoping this will get us all our cutie mark promotions! We'll get them even if we have to dry up all the oceans! Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts on Explosions! Author's Note I'm taking Guest Submissions, if the Cutie Mark Crusaders are to be believed. I think you can do a better job than them. Just PM me with your submission. Don't forget to have a title, lyrics, and state the movie and its song!
19. We've Got No Things(Note: Sung to the tune of Pinocchios's "I've Got No Strings") Sung by the Diamond Dogs Rover, Spot and Fido In case you don't know, the Diamond Dogs are a group of ugly, dirty, greedy, and stupid canine-like creatures who live underground and value gems. One time, they kidnapped Rarity in the hopes of using her skills to find more gems. Unfortunately for them, Rarity is the Sun-Tzu of passive aggressive warfare, and very soon they were practically throwing their riches at her in order to get her to leave them alone and never return. Seriously, she pretty much robbed them in pure day...cave-light. We've got no things Our gems are gone Our riches stripped, we're put-upon... We had to give All our gems, see To a whiny white pony I know this totally blows I'll never forget that voice I want the world to know We really didn't have a choice We've got no things She robbed us dry Her screeching made us want to cry She has things But you can see I've not a bean on me I have no things My ears still bleed What got us was our natural greed If it's all The same to you You got a gem on you? I've got no things It's not my fault Why'd we steal her and not a colt? She got things I'm telling you She's annoying through and through! She whined all through the day Before her friends took her from us I know I'm scared for life Of her screaming fit to bust, hey! I've got no things on me.
21. The Bees From The Cart(Note: Sung to the tune of Tarzan's "You'll Be in My Heart") Sung by Applejack and Rainbow Dash The latest dare challenge, with Applejack vs Rainbow Dash! It's a staring contest while an entire swarm of bees covers your face. One sudden move and you'll have swellings all over your every orifice for weeks. Still, neither pony ever backs down from a challenge, and so let the competition begin! Note: Since neither pony could actually sing for risk of tremendous sting-related pain, the following song was composed out of the two's accounts regarding their inner monologue. How they were so synchronized with each other in thought remains a mystery. No time for crying Ah will be all right Gotta keep still Keep it tight Ah can't get stung Just not before you Just gotta not move Wanna cry? For one so proud You seem to sweat They crawl all over Are you cracking yet? The score between us Must be settled It's nerve-wrackin' But ah'll try With the bees from the cart Yes, the bees from the cart I won't get stung Now or forever more Your bees from the cart No matter what they say All the bees from the cart, Will stay Why can't they understand the way we feel, They just don't trust what they can't explain. Our past-times are different We just like to risk a huge amount of pain! With the bees from the cart, Yes the bees from the cart, From this day on We settle the score. Don't listen to her, 'cos what does she know. (what does she know) I'm twice as brave as AJ, and so I'll hold! She'll see in time, I know. When you risk stinging, you must be strong (you gotta be strong) If you think I'll move from here, you're totally wrong! She'll see in time, I know. I could wait forever 'cos The bees from the cart, Threaten me, The bees from the cart. I'll be queen from this day on, now and forever more. Ooh the bees from the cart (It's the bees here on my face) No matter what they say (I won't get stung) We have bees from the cart (I'll be fine) Always Always I'll be the champ, I'll be ahead of you always Always and always. Hope you've got ointment ready x3 I'll beat you always. P.S The competition was eventually called off after Post Haste, the owner of the bees, asked for them back. And so, they paid a visit to the old castle of the Royal Sisters instead... Author's Note As requested by HB_DS2013.
23. Know When to Fold 'Em Applebloom(Note: Sung to the tune of Alice in Wonderland's "All in a Golden Afternoon") Sung by Applebloom and Applejack The Cutie Mark Crusaders are always trying to think of whatever will get them their cutie marks. Even if they never succeed, they have fun anyway. It's considerably less fun when you're the older sister and thus it's your responsibility to pay for whatever gets broken. It's a good thing Sweet Apple Acres is such a money-spinner in the local community. Remember you three broke the sundial And that time with the hot-air balloon? If yah ask me you really ought to know When to fold 'em, Applebloom... I'm still payin' for the damaged water pump And still clearin' treacle from mah room You gotta use yer horse sense to realize When to fold 'em, Applebloom! (To fold 'em, Applebloom) You've tried keepin', writin', surfin', knittin', arts and brewin' mead, You make the ponies wonder where's the peaceful life they lead... Oh, the three of yah are walkin' disasters Every scheme you try just spells out Doom You should know when to call it a day there: When to fold 'em, Applebloom! Know when to fold 'em, Applebloom To fold 'em, Applebloom... There's no way you're ever gonna make me give up I don't intend to call it quits so soon Cutie Mark Crusaders have no idea When to - Fold 'em, Applebloom!
24. Why You Don't Do Flight(Note: Sung to the tune of Who Framed Roger Rabbit's "Why Don't you Do Right?") Sung by Rainbow Dash According to Rainbow Dash, the best way to emulate her greatest achievement, the Sonic Rainboom, is to constantly practice. Oh, and it also helps if one of your best friends is plummeting to their doom about 10,000 feet from above. Not that anypony should ever LOOK to fall 10,000 feet, even for that, because a large stain on the pavement's not cool. I had to save your flank from falling to your doom, I know why you stick to your dresses and loom, Why you don't do flight, Like other ponies do. Get out of here, And take your makeup too, Your not being good with flyin's what it's all about, I can see why it's clear, so no need to pout, Why you don't do flight, Like other ponies do. Get out of here, Twilight's calling for you. Silver lining's that I perfected my greatest feat, But don't do that again, cos your doom ain't sweet, Why don't you do flight, Like other ponies do? You'd need practice, Self preservation too You'd need practice, Self preservation too Why you don't do flight, Like other ponies do!
25. Why'd You Like Curry?(Note: Sung to the tune of Oliver and Company's "Why Should I Worry?") Sung by Fluttershy Pinkie Pie is an odd sort of pony. Okay, that's putting it nicely. Nopony seems to understand her fully. PINKIE doesn't understand Pinkie fully. One of her many quirks is her unusually high tolerance to spicy food. In fact, the only heat she has found intolerable is undiluted rainbow liquid, which has the heat intensity of a Cartolina Reaper. And even then, she managed to remain conscious and even run off to find a glass of water afterwards. You'd never see a pony as delicate as Fluttershy have anything even remotely spicy. Ever. So it's hard to relate to Pinkie's strange tastes. Not that Fluttershy would say it IN FRONT of her. One minute, hot sauce on cupcakes Then you down a Vindaloo And you'd eat a naga pepper And Koltrean kimchi too Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo It's crazy I'd get quite hazy Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo It's not smart It's really bad for my heart Why'd you like curry? Why should I care? I'll never acquire the taste I think you're a crazy mare Why'd you like curry? Why should I care? A small amount of spices And I would hurt everywhere Your love for all things spicy Girl, you would get it down Yellow, orange or brown You'd scarf all them down Why'd you like curry? Tell me, why should I care? You'd wolf down a ghost chilli Without burning like a flare Why'd you like curry? Why should I care? I would pass out from eating A small korma anywhere Ev'rything goes Ev'rything fits For Pinkie Pie maybe I would just call it quits Why'd you like curry? Why should I care? And even with that rainbow juice She'd still sample spicy wares Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo (etc.) Author's Note As requested by Blue Sparkle 227 Also, look up the Carolina Reaper if you want to know what the pepper mentioned is (it exists).
26. Grim, Gritty, Gross(Note: Sung to the tune of The Haunted Mansion's "Grim Grinning Ghosts") Sung by Pinkie Pie Quite possibly the worst cooking disaster (apart from the Cutie Mark Crusader's attempts to get a baking cutie mark) was the time Applejack made muffins after some sleepless days and nights, too tired to notice she wasn't using the right ingredients... These muffins, sporting ingredients such as soda, crushed potato chips and worms soon earned its infamous name, Baked Bads. Spike seemed to think they were OK, though. Taste is subjective, I suppose. When AJ's in the kitchen chambers She can do an apple crumble that entices all But today she made muffins that would turn you deathly still The whole of Ponyville was present Waiting with anticipation and delight When she gets no sleep, she makes big mistakes One bite and you would find it hard to stay awake Bile rises in my mouth And my health is going south Grim Gritty Gross Baked Bads are totally out My tummy's doing flip-flops right inside Those muffins are evil personified The hospital wing is packed With those who's tums were attacked Grim Gritty Gross Baked Bads ain't coming back Nurse Redheart's being swept right off her hooves Thousands of patients with no time to lose The atmosphere's filled with gloom The hospital has no more room Grim Gritty Gross Baked Bads are signs of doom When you hear the knell of a requiem bell Those things sent you where spirits dwell No don't eat that! You'll despise Any mouthful of any size Mwahahahahahahahaha If you would like to join our jamboree Equestria Daily has a recipe Why you'd make them I don't see Your food poisoning's all that's free But you should know that misery loves company Don't eat that...Don't eat that... Are you sure you want to try them out? If you decide to make 'em You should write up your will now You'll be...dying...to have them ...Or maybe you'll just die, period. Author's Note As requested by GoodStoryLover.
28. Bring Back Springtime (Guest Submission by lionaxel)(Note: Sung to the tune of The Nightmare Before Christmas's "Making Christmas") Sung by Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy and Mayor Mare Winter Wrap Up, before Twilight Sparkle came along, was a pretty big shambles every single year. It was a largely disorganized mess and it took the town of Ponyville a long time before their Winter was wrapped up along with the rest of the country's. After Twilight Sparkle injected some of her organisational skills into the whole affair, the town has since gotten a lot better at it. Thankfully. It’s time! It’s time! Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up, Winter Wrap Up Redesign! We’ll get it right And won't the Mayor be surprised Look for spring’s sign! Winter Wrap Up, Winter Wrap Up Winter Wrap Up Time to spread some cheer and fun And it’ll last for months to come Let's assign jobs to everyone It's time to clean-up Winter Wrap Up, Winter Wrap Up The bird nests get spruced up so nice With these ribbons and pretty bows Doesn’t it look nice? All together, that and this With all our tricks we're Bringing back Springtime! Ooh! There she is! I just don’t know where I must now go My skills, my tricks, my mastery! Wait! I got it! Won't they be impressed, I am a genius See how I am skating on ice And cutting it so small and nice! Ooh! My compliments from me to you On this your most delightful work However though there’s something wrong See it requires a certain quirk. Huh! No, no, no, now that's no fun! Your method will never make a dent! Maybe now you should be done. Try something better, better spent. Try again, don't give up All together, that and this Without my skill they’re bringing back Springtime It’s time! It’s time! Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up La, la, la It's almost here No time to wait So find the birds, we can’t be late 'Cause when the full moon starts to climb No matter what! It’s springtime!
30. Be Declared(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King's "Be Prepared") Sung by the Princess Celestia and Ponies at the Horstralian country border As Princess, one of the many duties is to establish healthy relationships between countries for the sake of peace. Every country is different, but one of the most memorable visits was to the country of Horstralia. Largely because of how excessively hardcore they are when it comes to border security. Nothing gets in, and nothing gets out. EVER. I'm at the Horstralian border Waiting for my luggage to pass To maintain relations and order They confiscate objects en-mass They're checking my crown for contraband In case animals live in there Or dragon egg shells in my headband Amazing how much they all care! My wingspan's big enough for smuggling They've rifled through them seven times And all of my feathers Were messed up together Have you got veg or fruit? Check my bags for the loot I know it sounds sordid I won't get rewarded I'd hardly resort to such crimes Have I info that needs to be shared? Be declared! Check, Check, Check, Check, Check, Check! We'll put all the bags through an x-ray To check for suspicious knick-knacks This long check-up is but the entree I also can take little back I must carefully choose my souvenirs To bring back home to Canterlot It can't be too hollow or they'll fear It works like a smuggling pot! I hope we're not here for much longer ...Don't tell me they rifled through THAT! (Oooh... la, la, la!) Oh wow, this is awkward (What is this!?) How can I be forward? (Didn't know!) Found my secret stash (That she liked!) Of romantic trash (Stuff like that!) Princess, undisputed Respected, saluted Can you keep this under your hat? My reputation should be spared... Not declared! Yes, should your reputation be spared? (Nah!) Be declared! Author's Note As requested by fluttercord45
31. The Brony King In Media(Note: Sung to the tune of Robin Hood's "The Phony King Of England") Sung by you, um...if that's alright with you... I wrote this as an ode to the kingpin of the most well-known news source of all things pony. Here's to you, the great genius who likes Trixie and who's OC got locked in a cube. Oh, the internet has a human yet Skulking behind a blog A someone who likes Trixie and Works staff into a slog With other bronies on his side Equestria Daily grew With Phoe, Calpain, Xyro, PK And many more in the crew Sethisto was this brony's name Our lives would never be the same He's known as the Brony King in media! All hail to the Brony King in media! He sits alone on a giant throne Reading emails all day He posts up news and fic reviews And keeps the spam away And he throws an angry tantrum If Trixie's not on site So it's a pointless post With Trixie as the host All this, despite the server's plight Despite this, he still gets the scoops Before the spoilers leak out. Whoops! All hail to the Brony King in media! The Mysterious Pre-Reader-Do-Well Rides astride Sethisto's head As Sethy swaps banner backdrops From green to pink to red All this despite a gross mishap Which was a pain, you see He got locked in a cube before He got his own OC At nighttime in Arizona, wow! "Go to bed, Seth." Like right now! The pony and homey king in media! The mailin' wailin', Postin' hostin', Blabberin' jabberin', Typin' hypin', clickin' flickin', Wheelin' dealin' Sethisto, the Brony King in media! Yeah!
32. (Sweetie) Belle(Note: Sung to the tune of Beauty and the Beast's "Belle") Sung by Button Mash and Sweetie Belle and an NPC from Button Mash's game When the Cutie Mark Crusaders have wrapped up their shenanigans for the day, Sweetie Belle sometimes stays over with a colt from her school, the videogame obsessed Button Mash. Not that it's dull. He always makes sure to play whatever accommodates two players whenever she comes around. It does make you wonder why, since he's supposedly the only one in Ponyville who even LIKES videogames... Button Mash, in the middle stages This dungeon not like the one before Working to make it past the boss now Waiting so he can say We scored! (5x) There goes Button's Spell-Warrior, like always He wants 15 of those Jellied Slimes to sell But the only place he can Unload Slimes and all his spam At the dungeon's end, a town! Look there I got my seventh Jellied Slime now Eight more and I can forge the Sword of Fell! Power-Leveling's such a pain My skill points ran out again Want me to make a new Save File, Sweetie Belle? We scored! Oh yeah! A mana potion found! We scored! Good day! Restored my life I need six more! I'm overleveled! You don't get bored of fighting and the strife? It's far from my best game but I include her I think that I have trained her well My combat party's best hunter I have named it after her My level twenty three hunter, Sweetie Belle He's actually quite amazing! I know he's pretty good because you'll see All of the combat's real-time It's really nothing like a turn-based RPG! But now I just can't wait for my new broadsword I'm trekking back to Beastly Fell But I know it's worth the hike I know what the boss is like But then even without the sword If I plow on without the sword I'll be fine with the support from Sweetie Belle! I see that you have fifteen Jellied Slimes here Unfortunately I can tell You don't have the funds on you I can't give you it, it's true Unless you can venture out and find our bell No, we don't know Why are we singing? Don't think it's part Of the game script! More puzzling still So are you bringing Our lost bell from The Darkest Dankest Crypt? You scored! Pardon. Good day. Fire Ring! Increase defense! Save your progress? Ten gald! Oatmeal... Experience points! Next step's to upgrade his brand new knife...! I'll find an inn to go restore my life! Look there I go! I have a brand new side-quest From a peculiar mad'moiselle! I swear I'll get it done On my first playthrough run You ready for adventure there My player 2 is all set there You ready for adventure? Sweetie Belle! We'll score! (5x) Author's Note As requested by keam.
34. One Little Kip(Note: Sung to the tune of Chicken Little's "One Little Slip") Sung by Rainbow Dash Napping may not be one of the past-times you'd expect from somepony who basically would go mad if she stays still, but to be honest, Rainbow Dash can get from A to B and clear the sky so quickly (10 seconds. Somepony timed her), that there really isn't much to do except fly or pass the time sleeping. It was a breeze to clean clouds up In ten seconds flat, yes sirree Got lots of free time on my hooves You'd get some shut-eye if you were me I've practiced flying today Nothing else to pass the time I'll go catch my forty winks Until adventure's down the line One little kip, One little kip Preen my feathers back together Finished Daring Do's new book I can sleep in because I work so quickly Well I admit my work ethic is kinda lacking Watch me fly by, can't be sickly But no way I'd face a sacking Don't like details when they're niggly But you know I'll work fast, and that ain't bragging I've no boss to scold me thickly But you know I just hate dragging One little kip, One little kip I got a big whole in my day No party to keep me away From sleeping the whole entire afternoon Next Daring Do's not out for weeks And while my flying's at its peak I hate repeating what to do so soon I've practiced flying today Nothing else to pass the time I'll go catch my forty winks Until adventure's down the line One little kip, One little kip Pull up a cloud, and don't be loud Unless it's real urgent... One little kip, One little kip
35. The Wonderful Thing About Fingers(Note: Sung to the tune of Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day's "The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers") Sung by Lyra Heartstrings For a very long time, the existence of humans was shrouded in mystery. In fact, few ponies believed they were real, except for one rather overly happy green unicorn called Lyra Heartstrings, who's obsession with them even borderlined on madness, even wishing for their "fingers" as the appendages on their front legs were called. Twilight's most recent adventure through the magic mirror into another world, confirming their existence, could only be good news for her, which resulted in her doing a lot of celebratory dancing and a lot of happy singing the night she heard of their adventures, much to the disdain of her friend Bon Bon... The wonderful thing about fingers Is fingers are wonderful things! They can grab things without using magic And they can put on so many rings! These digits fidget, bridge it, which is Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! But the most wonderful thing about fingers is You get ten, not one The wonderful thing about fingers Is fingers are marvelous to have! You can point with vim and with vigor My work would be cut in half! They're pointy, jointy, real enjoy-ty Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! But the most wonderful thing about fingers is You get ten, not one Fingers are awfully useful Fingers are awfully sweet Ev'ryone el-us is jealous That's why I repeat...and repeat The wonderful thing about fingers Is fingers are wonderful things! They can grab things without using magic And they can put on so many rings! These digits fidget, bridge it, which is Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! But the most wonderful thing about fingers is You get ten, not one Fingers are awfully useful Fingers are awfully sweet Ev'ryone el-us is jealous That's why I repeat...and repeat The wonderful thing about fingers Is fingers are wonderful things! They can grab things without using magic And they can put on so many rings! These digits fidget, bridge it, which is Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! But the most wonderful thing about fingers is You get ten, not one Y-y-you get ten, not one! Whoo! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123
36. A Dream of a Fish and Cupcakes(Note: Sung to the tune of Cinderella's "A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes") Sung by Pinkie Pie Ah, the joys of lucid dreaming. When sleeping, the ability to shape your dreams as you like them is a useful tool indeed. That certainly explains why most of Pinkie's dreams are about frosting. But in the event her dreams take a turn for the weird, she goes along for the ride. As long as it's funny, right? A dream of a fish and cupcakes When I'm fast asleep In dreams I drive with no brakes Into a frosting castle's keep Or maybe I'm in the mood for A dive-bomb in green sticky goo No matter how crazy it turns out I'll dream til night-time burns out The dream of a fish still shines through A dream of a fish and cupcakes One night, feeling small Compared to a 10 feet Twilight My size can't compare at all So I hide in Twilight's bookshelves Along with Gummy and the crew But out of all the dreams I've had The one that's still the most rad The dream of a fish still shines through A dream of a fish and cupcakes A dream of a fish and cupcakes I wake with the morning sunlight To find my room covered in goo I dunno how this all got there But then, my dream had a lot there... The dream of a fish still shines through No matter how crazy it turns out I'll dream til night-time burns out The dream of a fish still shines through
37. Hurt Me Right(Note: Sung to the tune of Brave's "Learn Me Right") Sung by Rainbow Dash Don't yank on Applejack's tail if you want attention. That's where the kicking legs are, and she bucks HARD when startled, as Rainbow Dash found to her cost. "Years of apple-buckin'" according to Applejack. Be that as it may, it really HURTS. Though I may speak and sound quite crass Those legs are like some big nuclear blast I have no strength with which to fly And I've got some gravel in my eye I just yanked her tail Dislocated my knee Usually not that frail, It's killing me I just yanked her tail Dislocated my knee Usually not that frail, It's killing me I'm in the hospital Bouncing a rubber ball Boredom isn't far away I took the kick right to the face I crash-landed in the most painful place In agony and massive pain Setting my bones back in again I just yanked her tail Dislocated my knee Usually not that frail, It's killing me I'm in the hospital Bouncing a rubber ball Boredom isn't far away
40. The Drummer(Note: Sung to the tune of Frozen's "In Summer") Sung by Octavia Octavia values the precise, elegant sounds of classical music. Throughout Ponyville, she is the most well known among her entourage and among the most popular, all down to her skills on the bass and her standards of perfection. She sometimes does solo performances, or collaborates with other musicians to produce new pieces. Learning to work with others has been an important aspect of her career. So of course, when somepony submitted a proposal to introduce a bass drummer in her music, and then, when questioned, proceeded to smack the cymbals and drums to the sounds of Beethclover's Symphony, it could only have ended very badly for everypony involved. You should leave, Cause I personally don't believe In "You can't lose me, I'm the drummer" A bass in my hoof, Poised to smack you straight to the roof Prob'ly going to turn down, eject the drummer I’ll never hear such gruesome noise taint the classic music sheets I just can't take anymore of those infernal drumming beats And I can’t wait to see This cretin leave, believe you me The ensemble does not require the drummer Dah-dah, da-doo, a-bah-bah-bah bah-bah-boo The headache I've gotten is just so intense, A position with us, it just makes no sense! Rrr-raht da-daht dah-dah-dah dah-dah-dah dah dah doo Our arts go together like clean sheets and muck, So bass drums with classical, who gives a...flying feather! Could somepony tell him in the politest way I'd rather eat worms than listen to him play? Oh, I'm off to nurse, Since my head is getting worse Why did anypony feel that we needed the drummer! "I’m gonna tell him," Harpo said, making his way towards the door. Beauty Brass replied, "Please do..." THEEEEE DRUUUUMMEEEEEEEEEEEERR!!! Author's Note As requested by Awesomo3000
41. Let's Go Buy A Pint(Note: Sung to the tune of Mary Poppins's "Let's Go Fly A Kite") Sung by Berry Punch Berry Punch is the pony who really enjoys good drink. Whether it be soft drinks to Applejack's famous cider, she'll always be wherever there happens to be somewhere to quench her thirst. She's particularly fond of Pinkie Pie's Tutti-Frutti Sherbet Sugar Punch. (It's got seven parts of sugar for every part of fruit!) Apparently she counts that as one of her five-a-day. Oh yeah, and don't EVER suggest that she may have had enough. She'll TELL you when she's had enough. With 10 bits to spend for the day You can chug your worries away Fruit juice or cream soda Drink whatever's there This ever-thirsty mare Will drink down your wares Oh, oh, oh! Let's go buy a pint Fresh soda on my mind Let's go buy a pint and then just one more Whether flat or with foam Where there's drink, I'll surely roam Oh, let's go buy a pint! When my paycheck comes on down All at once I'm out on the town To the watering hole Among mares and the foals I'll drink all through the night Til I'm high as a kite Oh, oh, oh! Let's go buy a pint I know where there's drink to find! Let's go buy a pint and chug your mug down Down to the final drop You go broke and then you stop Let's go buy a pint!
42. I Split a Seam(Note: Sung to the tune of Tangled's "I've Got A Dream") Sung by Rarity, Vinyl Scratch aka DJ-Pon3 and the rest of the bar customers Do you ever have one of those moments where you've just gone through all the effort to construct something amazing, only to have the entire thing just sort of fall over and break with just one small touch? Well, that's what happened to Rarity one day, trying to fulfill an order to Manehatten's most well-known fashion group, Hazy Day. Thankfully, as she sat in Ponyville's local watering hole, nursing a Tutti-Frutti Sherbet Sugar Punch (not to Pinkie standards, but it sufficed), she discovered that a surprising amount of the customers were there for similar reasons. It was going to be fabulous Not boring bleak or drab-ulous I had finished the most flowing dress in ages The work was long and arduous And then it went to Tartarus It's my greatest fiasco in history pages It all started when a seam in the dress split I could have fixed that error in my dream! But then things turned for the worse It descended like a curse (Oh WHY?!) And it all started when I split a seam... She split a seam! She split a seam! Opal jumped on the desk and pulled the thread clean! As she sped away right then The dress tore up in pieces ten! It caught in her claw because I split a seam! You know, I was just chillaxin' When some ponies showed up askin' Oh scratch that, they just KICKED DOWN MY FRONT DOOR! They yelled out, "Get on your knees! Ev'rypony go and seize Her illegally purchased sheet music score! Sir Neon Lights, you, boy, are under arrest!" I know I'm not as girlish as I seem But my house had gotten wrecked He oughta go get his eyes checked! It was as bad as the time when You split a seam She split a seam! She split a seam! She split a seam! She split a seam! I told 'em Neon lived right across the stream! I was totally freaked out Tonight, should have just sneaked out It was as bad as the time You split a seam Lyra thought that she had a fatal illness Time Turner lost hundreds on the wheel And a pony did steal Pipsqueak's Pirate's sailing keel Raindrop's ill Berry's broke Sea Swirl's house filled with artichokes And barely one of us got our own episode! Wow, that's awful - oh no, really! I do mean it, true and dearly I see I am not alone in my suffering But we all know this, don't we? Misery loves company! So drinks on me, you get your night for nothing! I split a seam! She split a seam! I split a seam! She split a seam! But it's nothing compared to where you've all been! (Yeahh!) To Tartarus with Hazy Day Never liked her anyway I don't care about the fact I split a seam! You split a seam! I split a seam! You split a seam! I split a seam! So our diff 'rences ain't really that extreme! (We're one big team...!) Call it bad luck or coincidence Hope the bad luck is no precedence Hope it's nothing like the time She split a seam! I split a seam! You split a seam! She split a seam! She split a seam! She split a seam! I split a seam! Hope it's nothing like the time She split a seam! Yeahh! Author's Note As requested by Awesomo3000
44. Someday My Bits Will Come(Note: Sung to the tune of Snow White and the 7 Dwarves's "Someday My Prince Will Come") Sung by Coco Pommel Working in Manehatten for Suri Polomare isn't easy. The hours are long, the respect's low, and the pay's awful. Actually, awful doesn't do it justice. The bare minimum wage (VERY bare minimum) is all she gets, and quite often, it arrives late. Ludicrously late. Some day my bits will come Some day I'll get my pay And how thrilling that moment will be When 30 bits for the day comes to me I know I should just quit Find somewhere else for bits But I can't stay away I want to make fashion all day Some day when my cheque comes through Some day I'll get my wage Some bits to pay my rent And I'll know it'll come in eight days But I can't justify the long days Some day I'll get a raise So I'll work through the days Hope it's no loss I'll hope for a new boss Some day when my cheque comes through Somewhere waiting for me Is a new boss I'm longing to see Somepony I just can't help but adore Somepony who'll pay me a lot more Someday my bits will come Someday I will have a sum But I can't stay away I want to make fashion all day Some day when my cheque comes through Oh please make my cheque come through Author's Note In case it's not clear, I'm doing Barbara Streisand's version because there's more lyrics to work with.
46. Don't Like Me(Note: Sung to the tune of Aladdin's "Friend Like Me") Sung by Prince Blueblood Nopony really likes Prince Blueblood, and to his utter confusion, he doesn't really understand why. Of course if you were to ask anypony who knows him they'd tell you that he's arrogant, racist, greedy, joyless, an upper-class twit and really rather dim. When told to list one reason for being disliked, the above answer was what was offered to him. To which he replied, "Fine. But can you list a second reason?" Now I simply do not understand Why everypony tries to keep away You'd be the luckiest pony in the land Just to be with me for one whole day Yes, I demolished a disco one time And built a swimming pool right in its place But it would have been open ten til nine If you were part of a richer race Oh I'll say You common ponies there Why can't you all just let it be? I'd hug you, but I might get catch something Seems that ev'rypony don't like me No no I'm not that bad a prince I'd let you shine my shoes for free I can get quite chummy with the rich Seems that ev'rypony don't like me Yes sir, I pride ourselves on royalty I'm the boss The king, the shah Get what I wish It's mine! True dish I'm a prince and so I'm going far! I won't apologize Because it's true you see I'll try to ignore the fact you're poor Seems that ev'rypony don't like me I'm really not that bad! I'm really not that vain! I have even had a ride on your train! It was rather cramped And the ride was stiff I shall not started on the lowly commoner food But apart from that it was a gift! So doncha sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed You just look like you never went to school Are you sure you are quite certified At a tiny little shack for mules? Come on, I'm not that bad, am I? I was only taught to speak the truth But I won't touch your commoner tools, or try But I'd try to get along with you, forsooth! You common ponies there, If you knew me better you'd see That I only hate the poor, it's great Seems that ev'rypony don't, ev'rypony don't Seems that ev'rypony don't, ev'rypony don't Seems that ev'rypony don't like me Seems that ev'rypony don't like me, hah! Author's Note As requested by Le_DragonBroneE. Sorry if it's not quite what you were expecting, but this happened and I couldn't let go of the idea.
47. Everypony Has A Rapping Place(Note: Sung to the tune of Song Of The South's "Everybody Has A Laughing Place") Sung by Pinkie Pie "...No. No, I'm pretty sure nopony HAS a rapping place apart from you. Heck, I don't think anypony else even USES rap to learn," protested Rainbow Dash. "It's a 'rapping place'!" Pinkie replied. "What else will you use it for apart from rap?" "...But why would you need to set aside a 'place'...?" Rainbow muttered. Hey, hey, hey, yo, yo, yo Boy, are you in luck! I'll teach you 'bout my rapping place Yuk-yuk-yuk-yuk-yuk Everypony's got a rapping place A rapping place to go-ho-ho Swagger up, and go "Wazzup?" It's healthy, I should know-ho-ho When I learned how to bake a cake I kept on making lots of mistakes I was outta luck Until I found my rapping place Yuk-yuk-yuk-yuk-yuk Everybody's got a rapping place A rapping place to go-ho-ho My lessons set to punk rock and yet It helps my memory flow-ho-ho I turn my lessons to catchy words Take that frown, turn it upside down And just rap and make your lessons heard! Everybody's got a rapping place A rapping place to go-ho-ho And in my case, it's in a big space Hundred feet by four or so-ho-ho To make your own little 'rapping place' You'll need music and some space Don't forget some shades And you'll have your rapping place And you'll have it made Everybody's got a rapping place A rapping place to go-ho-ho And don't you forget to sweep it, lest It turns dusty and slow-ho-ho Everybody's got a rapping place A rapping place to go-ho-ho Take a frown, turn it upside down And you'll find yours we say-hey-hey
48. Hurling My Wife(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King's "Circle of Life") Sung by Shining Armor Many years later, as invading shadows clustered and gathered close around the Coronation Balcony of the Crystal Citadel, Prince Shining Armor's eyes tracked a falling star of bright teal across the poisoned ochre sky, a tiny streak that represented Equestria's final hope for salvation. If somepony could only fly up to it, catch it in her hooves and snatch it away from the ravenous jaws of the spirit of the ancient and deposed unicorn king, then the Crystal Empire – and, by proxy, all of the world – would be preserved. But Cadance was too weak from exertion to execute a proper pegasus takeoff. And even if his own horn had not been neutralized by dark crystal magic, the falling Heart was well out of his telekinetic range. There was, indeed, only one plan left... Skywriter. (2012). Chapter 1, Martial Bliss It's a very dark time for our planet We're all set to lose all our hope There's more to see than can ever be seen But now we're at the end of our rope There's far too much to take in here Nopony else can find a way But the Crystal's Heart's high Falling straight through the sky Only one thing that can save the day So I'm hurling my wife It'll save us all Through despair and hope Through faith and love So I pick up Cadence Aim for the target Then I'm hurling I'm hurling my wife Yes, I'm hurling my wife It'll save us all Through despair and hope Through faith and love So I pick up Cadence Aim for the target Then I'm hurling I'm hurling my wife Author's Note As requested by SoldierForce
49. Much Too Early(Note: Sung to the tune of The Hunchback Of Notre Dame's "Topsy-Turvey") Sung by Princesses Twilight Sparkle, Cadence and Luna He really was only trying to help. Honestly. Although, stealing a tome of dark magic from a room covered in spikes and kept in a dark cave and guarded with a barred and locked gate to restore Rarity's spirit probably wasn't well thought out on Spike's part. Twilight Sparkle, Luna and Cadence ended up spending the entirety of the next day rectifying Spike's mistake. And Twilight Sparkle grumbled and grouched all the way through. Seriously, it was way too early for this. Come one, come all All the statues and the stools, All got blinged up, and the tools Come one, come all Close the shops and all the schools Somepony's breaking the rules Whoever is doing this are... ...Fools! Zzzzz... Turning all of this gold back into solid stone Who's the idiot who wouldn't leave dark spells alone? Discord's enjoying this, but then he's just a clown You realize it's much too early, yeah? And Luna's not used to being up at this time The three of us will have to clean this crime Turning unnatural beauty back to grime The fools! Much too early Turning gems back into daises Much too early Today was meant to be lazy I could be doing something better That's the way, this much too early day Much too early Feel I should play the princess card now Much too early Cos this job's just way too hard now We were supposed to spend Friday at play Really shouldn't be complainin' But my flank, it's such a pain in Because it's a much too early day Come on, Cadence Poke Princess Luna again She has exhaustion on her brain Come on, Cadence I'll clean this cloud of rain We three have to take the strain By Tartarus, it's such a... Pain! A mariachi band's gotten lost as well What else is left, I really couldn't tell Spending all of today cancelling this spell And Fluttershy's birdhouse is like a castle! A big fountain of champagne, watch it fizz Irresponsible use of magic is a hit-and-miss Cleaning a problem that shouldn't have happened is A hassle. Why? Much too early And Luna's asleep on her hooves Much too early Now I think I know what this proves Don't put forbidden magic on display Because it's a much too early day Ev-er-y-po-ny! Turning all of this gold back into solid stone We're nearly there! Who's the idiot who wouldn't leave dark spells alone? Oh thank Celestia Discord's enjoying this, but then he's just a clown Yes, Huzzah! Working on this much too early day We've come this far And it's the day we clean up magic we deplore Ponyville's incidents? We stopped keeping score... But now we have canceled everything, Now nothing Else needs emptying If you don't mind, we're all heading Back to bed, it's done our heads in Much...too... Ear...ly... Much too early, Mad and crazy Upsy-daisy, much too early day! Author's Note As requested by Revenant Wings
51. When We're Griffons(Note: Sung to the tune of The Princess And The Frog's "When We're Human") Sung by Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash and Applejack Fluttershy was assigned to aid a small group of pony-like faeries known as Breezies make their way home with their collected pollen in tow. It was...difficult, putting it mildly. So in order to help things along, Twilight Sparkle used a spell turning herself and her friends into Breezies so that they could travel together with them and help them along. It may have been a mistake, because Rainbow Dash soon started asking Twilight if she knew any spell that could make her a griffon. Or a dragon. It didn't even have to be a dragon that spewed fire! If I were a griffon right now I wouldn't trip over my claws I'd like to see if I'm just as fast And let out a throaty roar You've heard of my friend Gilda, You ever wonder how She builds up all of that muscle And that beak, does it make you go "wow"?, Listen... When I'm a griffon As I hope to be I'm gonna fly the coop 'Til I'm totally pooped And everypony's gonna bow down to me Now that sounds mighty cool Ah actually wouldn't mind Ah'd like to fly all proper like Without having to find The slightest wind can shake me Can blow me left and right But bigger, ah could fly the coop Now that seems jus' 'bout right Eh, Rainbow? But there is A small catch to make Ah'd need to eat And that's the thing Don't like the thought of havin' steak When Ah'm a griffon Rainbow's gonna be Ah'd just settle on keepin' tabs on Dash So that she don't get hurt, ya see I won't humor your request or your sense of curiosity You're still struggling as a Breezy And now you want to change biology!? If you're a griffon now You'd need to act like one You would both need to get used to meat Feel your talons rake across the street Magic is Not some cheap toy The Princess said that And I'll never forget So don't try it for a cheap ploy When we're griffons Or if we're gonna be I'd be careful, dude! I would like to fly It's a real fast track to Getting banished to the sun! When we're griffons
53. Witty Or Trite(Note: Sung to the tune of The Brave Little Toaster's "City Of Light") Sung by you, um...if that's alright with you... You know, if the ponies ever found out about this world and our interpretations of them, they'd lose quite a lot of sleep over it, I'm guessing. At least we can reassure them that the names we give them are somewhat affectionate. Right? Are you Twilightlicious Do you have your own cane? Someone's saying AJ's A silly pony again. Rarity's A marshmallow? Please... And Fluttershy would make A perfect little tree? But how she'd do it Just makes no sense to me Rainbow Dash Must have a cider stash Princess Celestia's a merciless troll And everyone's changelings too Soarin' would swap out pie for his soul So I hear people say Sweetie Belle's a bot Dictionary, or not? Who derelles on the spot Is it true? Is it witty, So witty Or trite? Pinkie's a psycho-in-hiding Scootaloo's chicken too Crackle is best dragon Not that she would care, mind you Sombra King Likes stairs, it's his thing Trixie loves her pinecones Sunset Shimmer's Gary Oak? Cadence is a missile; Spikezilla? Holy smokes! Is it witty, or trite? Chrysalis has got Swiss Cheese Legs as I understand Who gets all the stallions? It's Braeburn! Smoothie Lyra just don't care, Derpy Hooves is everywhere Big Macintosh's love for a doll is learned... But the one with the most names by far Is Princess Luna, no contest A gamer, useless, or a good Freddy Kreuger As we double the fun She missed anything? She don't even get to sing To Abacus, she clings Is it true? Is it witty, So witty Or trite? Author's Note As requested by Dirty Bit
55. The Dragon Code Matters(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King's "Hakuna Matata") Sung by Spike and Applejack One day, Spike was left with a lot of free time on his hooves. He tried to pass the time with a ride in a balloon, but something went badly wrong and he wound up in the Everfree Forest. And at the mercy of timberwolves. Thankfully, Applejack happened to be there to rescue him, and so Spike owed Applejack a life debt. Celestia help her... The Dragon Code matters! There just ain't two ways! The Dragon Code matters? Sure it ain't just some craze? I'm bound to serve you for the rest of my days! It's the way two friends can make amends...? The Dragon Code Matters Why, Twilight said it was okay Twilight said it was okay!? The Dragon Code says to prove nobility You should serve your savior. I'm all yours, me! Ah'm all flattered, but Ah really don't think Y'all really owe me a bit or anything Celestia help me...! Until you owe me! What a pain this'll be...! It's no trouble to me! I'm down on mah luck How do you feel? Well and truly f... ...uh, happy to have ya...Ah guess? The Dragon Code matters! There just ain't two ways! The Dragon Code matters? Guess it ain't just some craze... I'm bound to serve you for the rest of my days! It's the way two friends can make amends...? The Dragon Code Matters Author's Note As requested by dragonspinner33
57. A Troll New World(Note: Sung to the tune of Aladdin's "A Whole New World") Sung by Discord 1 and Discord 2 Discord, the Spirit of Chaos, was known as one of Equestria's most dangerous villains, who has been fought and turned to stone no less than twice, due to his innate desire for mayhem and, well, he's not exactly what you call a kind individual. Although he recently came round to the idea of friendship, he still likes to test exactly how much he can get away with before he gets stoned again. Because boy, does he get bored really easily. Also, without the Elements of Harmony (they were recently returned to their place of birth to stabilize the tree from which they were born), nopony's actually physically powerful enough to tell him otherwise anyway. I can show you the past With that zebra's potion Whoops, the events in motion Were of the day you were conceived. (Ew!) You think I have blue flu? Too bad I was just faking That's your reason for waking: The attention I received! A troll new world A new fantastic game to play No one to tell me no or where to go Since I'm stronger anyway A troll new world A time of setting tempers high But whatcha gonna do? I look at you You're just too small to tell me otherwise! (Just too small to tell me otherwise!) Unbelievable sights I turned the lake to mustard Whipped cream, chocolate and custard It's great as topping on pie A troll new world (Do you want chocolate rain?) But this just ain't the worst I've done (Or bunnies with legs like stilts?) But relax, don't you fret! I'm not done yet Everypony recovered under Sunbutt's sun A troll new world (Relax, it's only a joke) With new boundaries I've yet to cross (I could make your garden wilt) I'll test my limits and No reprimands Unless it's Fluttershy, cos she's the boss A troll new world A troll new world That's what I like That's what I like Don't like it? Tough! It's not enough So take a hike! Author's Note As requested by SoldierForce
59. I Wanna Pee Like You(Note: Sung to the tune of The Jungle Book's "I Wanna Be Like You") Sung by Pinkie Pie It is true that you don't actually see that many toilets around. In actual fact, the only public potty in Ponyville as far as anypony is aware of is an outhouse right at Sweet Apple Acres. Well, at least as far as everypony else knows, there ARE other places, but regarding a delicate subject such as this, nopony is aware of the existence of other toilets other than the outhouse and of course their own. One thing's for sure though; Pinkie took a shine to outhouses after she and her friends visited Dodge Junction and now wants one too. Bu-ba-do-do-do-be-do Now I'm liking that outhouse there, I'm the potty VIP, Cause all I've got is a chamber-pot, And that's what botherin' me. I wanna sit down on a loo, And read the paper there, And be like the Apple Family, I just know that it ain't fair! Oh, oobee doo, (Oop-de-we) I wanna pee like you, (Hop-de-do-be-do-bow) I want it like you do, Yeah, through and through! (We-be-de-be-de-boo) You'll see it's true, (Shoo-be-de-do) Somepony like me, (Scooby-do-be-do-be) Can get myself an outhouse too! Now don't try to kid me, Applejack, I'll make a deal with you. I'm in a rush to try and flush, To make my dream come true! I want to hole up in a shack, As I do my biz inside, What I want's a hut, a door to shut An outhouse, certified! Yoo-hoo! I wanna pee like you! I wanna go like you! Know like you, too! You'll see it's true! Somepony like me, Can learn to be, Like somepony like me, (Build me an outhouse!) Can learn to be, Like somepony like you, (one more time!) Yeah, can learn to be, Like somepony like me! Author's Note Inspired by that whole toilets in Equestria thing on Lauren Faust's Twitter.
60. Bothering The Teacher(Note: Sung to the tune of Peter Pan's "Following The Leader") Sung by Cheerilee Every classroom has a problem child in it somewhere as a student. There are almost no exceptions to this rule. And to be honest, even a pony as patient and as loving as Cheerilee has to draw the line somewhere. Especially since the new kid transferred and she entered the classroom every day to find that he'd written "should go buck herself" right under where she'd written her name in chalk. Every. Day. Ho hum, ho hum, a problem student's play Ho hum, why me, the note under the desk says "Come kiss my flank", I'm dealing with this all day Just a tedious one, a tedious one, I say Ho hum, whoopee cushion lying on my chair He swapped my coffee for taffy straight from the fair He's such a pain, he makes me tear out my hair What a tedious colt, it really just isn't fair!! He's bothering the teacher, the teacher, the teacher He's bothering the teacher wherever I may go Cause even when he's not here, he's not here, he's not here Cause even when he's not here somepony lets me know... Ho hum, why me, there's oatmeal in my desk He's out for fun and he will never stop to rest The way he rolls is criminal genius-esque Not to mention his apathy for learning's grotesque But when he's playing hooky, all hooky, all hooky But when he's playing hooky, that's when I worry most A Royal Guard may show up, may show up, may show up A Royal Guard may show up, and then the kid will boast Ho hum, why me, he's hanging out in the gym He hides comics in the books I give to him He doesn't care, he only acts on a whim Just a tedious one, a tedious one, it's him He's bothering the teacher, the teacher, the teacher He's bothering the teacher wherever I may go Cause even when he's not here, he's not here, he's not here Cause even when he's not here somepony lets me know... Ho hum, ho hum, a problem student's play Ho hum, why me, the note under the desk says "Come kiss my flank", I'm dealing with this all day Just a tedious one, a tedious one, I say Just a tedious one, a tedious one, I say
61. The Crime Of My Life(Note: Sung to the tune of A Bug's Life's "The Time Of Your Life") Sung by Rainbow Dash Breaking into the hospital to read Daring Do required meticulous planning and careful forethought so as not to get caught trespassing. A true mastermind has two options before them; thoughtful contemplation, or reckless abandon. After thoughtful contemplation, Rainbow Dash chose reckless abandon. Is that book, Daring Do, still in there? Sneaking in, trespassing, who could care? A new patient's in the room (Has he got the novel?) I get caught, it spells my doom (My crime's quite colossal) Sneaky sneak, I'll get it soon (Even if I must grovel) Hiding out among the gloom Feathers! The new guy just woke up as well Feathers! The new guy just woke up as well He called hospital security As far as I can tell (I could be wrong about that) It’s the crime of my life It’s the crime of my life It’s the crime of my life, it's not gone well Chased by docs, and barking dogs...Hang on, but... I'm sure that's a pony thinking she's a mutt I know in order to succeed (I have to reach the river) Swing on vines like a noble steed (It makes me want to shiver) My wings don't have the strength I need (To fly off and deliver) Do or die, I gotta try I've passed Sugarcube Corner, running pell-mell And the Carousel Boutique, running pell-mell Those guys are still hot on my hooves As far as I can tell (I could be wrong about that) It’s the crime of my life, it's not gone well Isn't it a bit surprising? I'm just now hitting Golden Oaks I'm not so good at improvising My alibi's going up in smoke Believe me I'm heading for the dungeon, and that ain't swell I'm heading for the dungeon, and that ain't swell And I left the book at the doc's As far as I can tell It’s the crime of my life It’s the crime of my life It’s the crime of my life, it's not gone well
62. Dangers Like These(Note: Sung to the tune of Tarzan's "Strangers Like Me") Sung by Twilight Sparkle Twilight Sparkle is like one of those detectives you read about in long-running detective novels; wherever they go, something bad happens. Parasprites, Discord, magic bears and villains of Equestria...Ponyville is a place where the extraordinary and unbelievable are just part of everyday life. At least they don't have to deal with traffic. Whatever you do, I'll do it too I get roped into incidents somehow What will it be this week? A crisis to avert Day 1, I had to deal with Nightmare Moon And there was the Ursa Minor so far Getting rid of a dragon, tasked to me Oh, I just know there's something bigger out there And a parasprite swarm worried me I wanna know about these dangers like these Don't know what's next to be Strange frequency of these dangers like these I had to watch every move Discord makes Makes me feel like never before Cutie Pox plague Just barely averted, and then there's... ...Ooh, these emotions Spike never knew Rampaging through town hoarding through this place Beyond the trees, above the clouds A changeling kingdom plotted And evil King Sombra worried me I wanna know about these dangers like these Don't know what's next to be Strange frequency of these dangers like these Pinkie Pie clones consume the towm Trixie's amulet, beyond my dreams And a crisis I made myself Sunset Shimmer Stole my crown There's a world I need to know Tirek shows up and battles me I wanna know about these dangers like these Don't know what's next to be Strange frequency of these dangers like these ...I wanna know
64. Button(Note: Sung to the tune of Beauty And The Beast's "Gaston") Sung by Diamond Tiara Diamond Tiara is the ultimate Daddy's Little Princess mixed with sadist bully. She's known for bullying the Cutie Mark Crusaders, but to be quite honest she'll pick on anypony who doesn't have a cutie mark, like Button Mash. She's called Button names in the past, deriding his past failures, his relationship with Sweetie Belle, and just basically making fun of his inability to do a lot right apart from gaming. It would sting a lot less if it wasn't for the fact that she was actually technically right. Gosh it amuses me to see you, Button Crashing through life as it comes It really must stink to be you, Button Especially when taking your lumps There's nopony in town who fails like you do Except on a gaming screen Everyone else is just glad they ain't you Just where has your competence been? No one pains like Button No one faints like Button No one sets fire to their toy train like Button You're accident prone, no denying that! You're clumsiness incarnate! And fighting the last boss totally fell flat I'd wager on outcomes and win all the bets! No one flees like Button Trips with ease like Button No one else gets bad milkshake brain-freeze like Button As far as colts go, that guy's not got a hope at all! My what a dolt, that Button! Give five "hurrahs!" Give twelve "hip-hips!" Button stands out even among the drips! No one sleep-ers like Button Cries weepers like Button On Minecraft, no-one dies to Creepers like Button! For there's no one as clumsy and nerdy That colt's great but only in games He'd get his mane pecked by the birdies. That's right! His clumsiness could make him famous in name! No one cracks like Button Takes the whacks like Button Loses contests on apple juice packs like Button He's not even that hot at Pong either! Ptoooie! No points for Button! One morning he got up all ready for school At this point you'll laugh til you cough His mother yelled back that the kid was a fool It's Sunday, he got the day off! No one's done like Button Lost to Stun like Button Then gets grounded in Humgonian like Button! And somehow he has a thing for mustaches! Say it again! Who's a loser? And then You just say it once more Who's that lame-o next door? Lost in video games A different kind of lame! Ask anypony who knows what's on There's just one colt in town Who's got all of it down... And his name's B-U-T... U... B-U-T-T-E... B-U-T-T-O... ohh, ow... BUTTON!!! My what a guy! BUTTON! Author's Note As requested by Seanchow806Napoleonic
65. You Gotta Blend With Me(Note: Sung to the tune of Toy Story's "You've Got A Friend In Me") Sung by Sweetie Belle It's possible to burn juice. That is what Rarity learned when she came downstairs one morning to find that Sweetie Belle had tried to make breakfast for the two of them. She has since barred Sweetie from cooking for both of them. Not that you can ever stop a Cutie Mark Crusader once her eyes are on the prize. So she enlisted some help who were just as clueless about cooking and got to work. You gotta blend with me You gotta blend with me In the bin you'll find the bread I'm practicing breakfast When I get outta bed Deep fried pancakes will keep us fed Girl, you gotta blend with me Yeah, you gotta blend with me You gotta blend with me You gotta blend with me Put the juice into the grill And pour the coffee beans Til the kettle's filled The butter's twitching and won't keep still Girl, you gotta blend with me You gotta blend with me I'm practicing breakfast until I can make a Full Equish Have you an orange slice too? Maybe I can get juice out if I use a hammer Think that will do, it's me and you, girl. I brought pancake mix to life I'm reaching straight for the knife In the blender goes eggs and tea You gotta blend with me You gotta blend with me You gotta blend with me Author's Note As requested by dragonspinner33 Also still running out of titles. Leave a comment suggesting good ones plz
66. Think Evidence On Parade(Note: Sung to the tune of Dumbo's "Pink Elephants On Parade") Sung by Twilight Sparkle One day, the Cakes were intending to enter the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness" (or MMMM), in Equestria's National Dessert Competition. Pinkie watched the cake out of fear of sabotage (until she fell asleep, bless her and her short attention span), and then woke up to find that "the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness! It's been... mutilated!" The game was ahoof. It was like Arthur Clopan Doyle's books, only with less corpses and more marzipan. First though, Twilight Sparkle had to actually run Pinkie through the concept of evidence, if only to stop her accusing everyone one by one. Look out! Look out! Think evidence on parade... Gather clues! Hop to it, hop to it! They're here, and there Clues lying 'round ev'rywhere Look out! Look out! Can't accuse without the proof Under the roof Get to it, get to it To make the grade Think evidence on parade You in the pink? You in the pink? Don't overlook anything! First you have to gather clues Then form conclusions, that's step two Not accuse ponies as you do It's really too much for me Best if we retrace our path To find the puzzle pieces fast Then using logic, science and math We'll both find the culprit behind the crime! Now it's time! Get on your way! Get on your way! I'm afraid you need aid Think evidence on parade! Hey hey hey Think evidence! Think evidence! Think evidence.... Author's Note As requested by BrownDog77
67. Ship-A-Dee-Doo-Dah(Note: Sung to the tune of Song Of The South's "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah") Sung by Derpy Hooves Equestria Speedy Shipping and Postal Services is the best (well, only, hence best) postal service in town, operating several local branches all over the country. Derpy Hooves is the most well-known mailmare in Ponyville, largely because she as a pony makes everything memorable...in a way. Having said that though, she does often get into trouble with the boss due to her wonky eye causing a lot of problems. Like falling parcels of varying size to home-wares to PIANOS. Seriously, who thought that transporting a piano BY HOOF several hundred metres in the air was a good idea, lamented Twilight one day as she lay in a hospital bed. Ship-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Ship-A-Dee-Ay Whoopsy, I've got butterhooves today There's a grand piano falling your way Ship-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Ship-A-Dee-Ay Oh please don't sue us for injury It's the truth I'm filling in I normally work on the mail bins Ship-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Ship-A-Dee-Ay Hope you have enough Stamps for today Ship-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Ship-A-Dee-Ay Send packages and mail all day Roughly the right direction or way Ship-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Ship-A-Dee-Ay And these anvils are quite heavy It's the truth Can you blame me If they fall a hundred metres or three? Ship-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Ship-A-Dee-Ay Work doesn't mix with Feelings of play I just don't know what went wrong here! It's the truth Just keep in mind I'm very nearly sorta half blind Ship-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Ship-A-Dee-Ay Hope you have enough Stamps for today Author's Note As requested by Le_DragonBroneE
69. A Mare Worth Smiting More(Note: Sung to the tune of Mulan's "A Girl Worth Fighting For") Sung by Trixie "Revenge will be The Great and Powerful Trixie's!" That was the thought running through her head when Trixie purchased the Alicorn Amulet (which led to a new law stating that evil artifacts have a three-day waiting period). As she trotted to Ponyville, she happily (and somewhat evilly) sang to herself... For a long time, I've been preparing for battle Getting by on a rock farm working like cattle As I hop and step, My ruined rep ain't easy to ignore I think of instead, A mare worth smiting more That's what I said, A mare worth smiting more I want that Twilight Sparkle gone Shame her like she shamed me My fans will marvel at my strength And all the crowd will see I couldn't care less what I'll do Like mass hysteria I want to kick Sparkly's posterior Post-haste, right now! Mmm! The Alicorn Amulet will give me the power The strength to topple mountains and bring down the towers You'd be surprised at what a thousand buys At the local knick-knack store Why'd I want it? A mare worth smiting more I'll throw Sparklebutt out of town Send her to public shame Is there a chance that Snarkle will Beat me at my own game? Nah! Come what may, I'll have her gone by tricks or by force Knock the purple prude off her high-horse Oh sure I could just hit her if things don't go peachy The amulet gives me the strength, so don't act preachy Might makes right means having a bigger stick than before Twilight Sparkle's A mare worth smiting more That pony is A mare worth smiting more A mare worth smiting...more Author's Note As requested by Le_DragonBroneE
70. Holding my Breath(Note: Sung to the tune of Tangled's "Mother Knows Best") Sung by Pinkie Pie Trixie, some years prior, had arrived in Ponyville for a magic show, but soon got upstaged by Twilight after she successfully fended off an Ursa Minor when Trixie couldn't. Bent on revenge, she saved up enough money making ends meet on a rock farm, and purchased a forbidden object known as the Alicorn Amulet, and went back to Ponyville. Pinkie said that she was lucky the rock farm even hired her, and in response, Trixie erased her mouth so she couldn't talk...also wiping her nostrils away as well. Silver lining? Pinkie broke the world record for holding her breath the longest! For two days I just had to hold my breath in I couldn't eat cupcakes or even sneeze Even though my vocal chords were working Trixie wiped the smile off my face with ease! That's right! Couldn't belch or yodel, or... Sing or eat or whistle or blow raspberries Be swallowed by the black embrace of death Soon, but not yet Twilight would win the bet Holding my breath Holding my breath It was rather painful At least I beat Sweetie Belle Holding my breath Really rather strain-ful If you've tried it you can tell Two days, four Hours, eighteen minutes Thirty six seconds: the time! Beat her score Of only six minutes And didn't even need medical attention! Meanie Pants Takes away my nostrils And my mouth with all the rest Confrontation Asphyxiation Holding my breath I could have kept on going on for longer But when Twilight just gave me back my snout I just wanted to eat and come back stronger I only realized this right now: I'm Equestria's breath-holding champion A record from an awful mess! My blocked lungs, and One-pony band Holding my breath Holding my breath Had to use my front legs To billow air into the brass And I used my hair To turn the tuning pegs To provide important gas Managed to play Ten different instruments Without needing to use my mouth For two days I was in a predicament I am the queen of multitasking! And that was Season Three's Fifth great Episode there All I have is one request... Don't forget it You'll regret it Holding my breath Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. Seriously though, how did Pinkie BREATHE during that episode?
71. Lather And Suds(Note: Sung to the tune to Aladdin And The King Of Thieves's "Father And Son") Sung by Fluttershy It's Angel Bunny's bath night! And as you would probably expect from any young critter, he absolutely hates it with a burning passion. But, well, sometimes we have to makes folks do what they hate for their own good. Angel, come out from behind the sofa Put the pan you're wielding down! You've been outside getting mucky Rid your face of that grumpy frown! Don't make me use The Stare Just come quietly, Washing grime off and all the mud Wash the fur right out Leave you clean and stout Together with lather and suds! Fill the tub right up And the shampoo cup Grab the scrubbing brush Anticipating escapes and a rush But I've locked the door Can't escape no more Til he's totally clean I'm a lean green washing machine (I'd use the word mean, but I really don't think I ever want to be like that...) I've made sure the temperature's okay You know that it would be wise If you didn't struggle and just sit still Soap wouldn't get in your eyes! Oh, they way you act You'd think that I'm out To steal your soul or blood But I want nothing more, Than to wash your fur Together with lather and suds! May be a bumpy ride Must make sure to get both sides You can't escaped, and I know you've tried Just keep right still, I'm almost done! Now I just rinse off the foam there There we go! Now you're squeaky clean! We've been through this hundreds of times Nothing bad's happened, so it seems! I'll go fetch the towel Then you can leave And I'll just mop up the flood Bath-time's always a hassle Together (together, together, together) with lather and suds! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123
79. One Mug Ahead(Note: Sung to the tune of Aladdin's "One Jump Ahead") Sung by Applejack, Flim and Flam, the gathering crowd, Rainbow Dash, and Granny Smith One day, during another Cider Season, two brothers showed up at Sweet Apple Acres with a machine that they claimed would be able to make enough cider for everypony in town, quicker than the Apples could. To their credit, Flim and Flam's machine, The Super-Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000, DID work, but their proposition of a joint venture was anything but fair. The incident eventually escalated when Granny Smith proposed a contest: whoever could make the most cider would leave town. So of course, in order to stop the Apples from losing the farm, Applejack's friends stepped in to help. Gotta keep One mug ahead of the brothers One apple ahead of the boys To beat those two and their fancy toy! "That’s a rodeo!” One mug ahead of the snake-oil That's all, and that's no joke Or the Apples’ gonna find themselves broke Press on! Work that Treadmill! Big Mac! Have to keep this up, girls SSCS! Pump those cups, girl! Ah can take a hint, Gotta face the facts: We’ve gotta step up to the plate! Wait! I’m working as fast as my hooves will let me Without resorting to great bodily harm! It’s like the Flim-Flam bros are out to get me… Gotta work to brew, Gotta brew to win Tell y’all about it if we keep the farm! One mug ahead of the slowpokes One jug ahead of our loss Like we’re fighting the very last boss One mug ahead of the low-downs One drink ahead of the flock Me and the girls are gonna show we rock Good ‘un! Bad ‘un! Do we Have ‘em? Girls, Ah think we’re winning! My stamina's rather thinning... Gotta work to brew, Gotta brew to win The Apple Family’s doin’ great too! One mug ahead of the hoofbeats (Press on!) One pint ahead of the bin (Work that!) One cup ahead of disaster (Treadmill!) They're quick, but we're much faster (Big Mac!) Here goes: Headin’ for the home stretch Make it on our own stretch All Ah gotta do is win!
80. Upon The Oddest Dreams(Note: Sung to the tune of Sleeping Beauty's "Once Upon A Dream") Sung by Princess Luna As Princess of the Night, one of Princess Luna's duties is to gaze into the reams of both foals and ponies alike, keeping their sleep away from nightmares and offering guidance to lost souls in their dreams. She does this by physically entering the dreams and shaping them as she desires, if she senses fitful sleep and torment. But of course, not every dream she has entered is a nightmare. Sometimes they're just REALLY surreal. I’ll tell you I hath come upon the oddest dreams I know you Will laugh as I spin a tale of mares and whipped cream You see it's true She dreamed of drowning in frosting green So I chased away the great creamy spray I told Mrs. Cake Her cakes were still great within the dream In the oddest time A filly dreams of trouble And make it double Princess of the Night Patrols the realm of dreaming Forever gleaming In the oddest time In the oddest night In the oddest wish In the oddest dream I’ll tell you About another surreal night There she was Skateboarding on Discord’s head straight into the light I know technically This vision was more than what it seems Then she pulled a flip No flaws and no slip I don’t think I’ll pry It’s just Pinkie Pie’s most oddest dream In the oddest time A stallion dreams of romance Yet having no chance Princess of the Night Knows dreams are their reality Keep poised regality In the oddest time In the oddest night In the oddest wish In the oddest dream Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah Princess of the Night Patrols the realm of dreaming Forever gleaming In the oddest time In the oddest night In the oddest wish In the oddest dream (In the oddest time) (In the oddest night) (In the oddest wish) In the oddest dream (Oddest dream) In the oddest dream (Oddest dream) In the oddest dream Author's Note As requested by The Princess Rarity. BTW, this is the Emily Osment version of the song. More lyrics, you see.
81. Mishap Off Sandy Shores(Note: Sung to the tune of The Nightmare Before Christmas's "Kidnap The Sandy Claws") Sung by Twilight Sparkle Fluttershy was reluctant to release a fish called Gil that she had nursed back to health, and so Twilight and the rest of her friends went to the beach together to try and convince her to let him go. Then a pirate ship washed up on the shore (as you do), beginning yet another weird adventure for all. Mishap off sandy shores? I'll spin a shanty And some more It started when Fluttershy Just wouldn't tell A lil' fish goodbye Oh yes, that is why Wheeee La, la, la, la, la, la La-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la, la, la La-la-la-la-la Mishap off sandy shores, misadventure! Ho! I'll tell you every detail - all you need to know So we were chillin' on the sand But then a ship washes up and It washed Gil straight into the sea Out of reach of those on land A pirate captain disembarks He says he wants to find some mark At Gallopinghost Islands tides And Rainbow dragged us for the ride Mishap off sandy shores, started off so plain We got roped into swashbuckling then went home again We stopped first at an old port town, Hoofbeard explain what will go down We had to recover a map That his old crew had stashed Wheeee! While Fluttershy recovered Gil AJ fed him pineapple swill Hoofbeard admits that if we fail Pirates Pony's totally doomed Rest of us went to a bar Found that's where Hoofbeard's old crew are They tried to kidnap me But out of them, I kicked the tar! Mishap off sandy shores, it gets strange from here So go get your rum bottles and go lend me an ear They admit that the map is in a nearby creature's pit Cos they got sick of chasing the moving "X" that's on it We get led where they chucked the map It's guarded by a giant crab Pinkie Pie distracts it with fun We grab the map and run! Ummm! We meet back on the ship with the map and clue A message Hoofbeard sent that says "I'll meet up with you" Our stake in Hoofbeard has just thinned He then leads us somewhere With no wind We're lost! You see! I get something, listen now So we all stage a mutiny And we intend to head straight back We make some wind, then suddenly Out of nowhere we're set upon We get attacked by merponies One of which Hoofs has his eye on And that's what the X means, you see Mishap off sandy shores, so all is explained And Fluttershy has realised she can't make the fish stay Mishap off sandy shores, together at last The merponies give us a ride and we head home so fast Mishap off sandy shores, started off so plain We got roped into swashbuckling then went home again Author's Note As requested by Dirty Bit. Based on the comic book series.
82. Walk About(Note: Sung to the tune of Dumbo's "Roustabouts") Sung by Trixie Why doesn't Trixie trust wheels? Well, only Trixie really knows for sure, but she is prepared to vehemently argue against these round revolutionary contraptions until she's blue (er) in the face. Down! With! Down! With! Down! With! Wheels! They think they’re great because they’re round The way they roll along the ground Trixie would rather walk about! Down! With! Down! With! Down! With! Wheels! The moment when you lose control Straight to your doom you have to roll Trixie would rather walk about! Down! With! Down! With! Down! With! Wheels! You prop those things along the side You never know when they may slide away (Note when Trixie says, they come right off and roll away) They’re injuries waiting to come It’s no surprise they make me glum today (Trixie would not pay, for disaster on the way) Round disasters Coming faster Trixie feels she should make clear (Listen!) Eighteen hundred Wheel-based injuries Every single year! Sledges are the Way to go farther Lay them flat along the floor! Naught to fall off Get them all off Don’t want any more Down! With! Down! With! Down! With! Down! With! Down! With! Down! With! Down! With! Wheels! If you would pull down to the bone They’ll exercise your muscle tone You know you’d rather walk about! Point being made here, Wheels ain’t safe here They’d come off and fall on you! They’re that risky Don’t blame Trixie If they take your leg off too! Wheels stink! Wheels stink! Wheels stink! Wheels stink!
84. Lie On Lie(Note: Sung to the tune of A Goofy Movie's "Eye To Eye") Sung by Discorded Applejack "When the truth makes your heat ache, sometimes a lie is easier to take." Those were the words spoken by Discord as he changed Applejack from a mare who values honesty to a chronic liar. It's probably not a good idea to look for answers from her during this time. Not until Twilight can hit Applejack with a memory spell and bring her back to normal. Yeah-Yeah! Yeah-Yeah! Listen up real closely, Ah won’t go repeat myself again... Ah’ll get real homely, And tell things to turn you on the head. One in six ponies got abducted by aliens at some point. (Yeah!) And if you cut a diamond dog in two, out comes coins! Milk feels pain, clowns melt in the heat Worms on toast is a savory treat. Penguins just pretend they cannot fly, Do Ah look like the sorta mare who’d go put lie on lie? You ever been out and seen a slug? They’re snails ‘fore they got stolen from And did you know that ladybugs Leave the biggest poops on the lawn? Ponies wearing scarves are hiding that they don’t have necks. (Yeah!) Short-sighted folks keep their faces warm with double-specs. (During the winter weather!) Rub two red-maned folks together, you can Start up a fire if that is yer plan. Applelooza is four by nine feet wide, Do Ah look like the sorta mare who’d go put lie on lie? (Yes, Ah wouldn’t put lie on lie.) Wouldn’t put lie on… (Ah ain’t the mare who’d go put on...) Ah wouldn’t go put lie on lie (Lie on lie) A lie Ah wouldn’t put lie on lie. (Lie on lie) If you're ever puzzled, then stop! You don't have to be. Applejack has all of the answers that you’ll ever need. (Take a look inside and see.) Yeaaaaah! Can openers were made one hundred years Before the can even made it here! You can’t touch your face so don’t even try Do Ah look like the sorta mare who’d go put lie on lie? Putting on lie on… Putting on lie on lie. Ah wouldn’t put lie on lie, baby. Ah wouldn’t put… Ah wouldn’t put... Lie on lie Ah wouldn’t. Ah wouldn’t, baby. Wouldn’t put lie on… Do Ah look like the sorta mare? Hey, yeah. Ah just ain’t, baby. Ah wouldn’t put lie on lie. No, Ah ain’t. (C'mon, baby.) Lie on lie Lie on lie Lie on lie Lie on lie! Yeaaaaaaaaah!
85. The Books Of Golden Oaks(Note: Sung to the tune of The Hunchback of Notre Dame's "The Bells Of Notre Dame") Sung by Spike and Twilight Sparkle During one of Twilight Sparkle's "Twilight Time" sessions with the other fillies, one of the activities they did was to tell the story of how Nightmare Moon came to be, combining the old legend from the books with Twilight's version of events (as she saw them through the flashback potion from Zecora). Is everyone sitting comfortably? Pull up a chair and listen up And listen to the most famous tale Gather round kids, and we’ll go spin a tale To the books of Golden Oaks This library has stories straight from the vales In the books of Golden Oaks This story’s about a dark princess A princess who’s mind went all broke And some say it’s the best page-turner That’s ever been spoke From books of Golden Oaks So let us start from the very first page From this book of Golden Oaks “Back in Celestia and Luna’s age,” Says this book of Golden Oaks, “Celestia managed the daytime And Luna took care of the night But to be quite honest Luna thought her job was a joke,” Says the book of Golden Oaks. But it gets worse Cos everypony took naps right there under the stars But it gets worse Yet did all their stuff during daytime. Not up to par… Let me go get the snacks Don’t mind me, just carry on the story Spike, where do you keep the cookies? Never mind, they’re in the cupboard… Won’t be long, just keep on going… “So Princess Luna grew jealous. And dark forces allowed themselves to fill the void in her heart with dark emotions. When Princess Celestia next saw her, she was barely recognizable. She was now…Nightmare Moon.” “There Nightmare Moon was, sitting on the throne,” Says this book from Golden Oaks, “She declared that she would rule all alone,” Says this book from Golden Oaks “She lets off a black beam of darkness So Princess Celestia spoke, ‘I don’t want you to go, But go Taste the Rainbow and choke!’” Says the book of Golden Oaks But it gets worse She harnessed the power of Harmony to send her to space But it gets worse Sealed up in the moon, where she could do no harm to this place “But it got a whole lot better after that, right?” asked a small filly in the audience, raising her pale-blue hoof. “Well, of course!” Spike nodded, grinning. “One thousand years later, Twilight Sparkle came to Ponyville and managed to banish the darkness from Princess Luna!” “Not alone, though,” Twilight pointed out. “I had my friends.” “So you did,” Spike said. He glanced up at the clock. “Buuut…that’s a story for another time. Think of Twilight’s story as a sequel for next time!” But the abridged version? Princess Celestia sent me To make some friends. And to tie up some loose ends Elements of Harmony Set Luna free But if you want the unedited yarn Come to Library Golden Oaks Or come back tommorow and you will learn? From the books, books, books, books, books, books, books, books Books of Golden Oaks! Author's Note As requested by Revenant Wings
86. My Name Is Lame(Note: Sung to the tune of James And The Giant Peach's "My Name Is James") Sung by Derpy Hooves Seriously though, what sort of name is 'Derpy Hooves' or 'Ditzy Do'? Derpy may have resigned herself to everypony calling her either name (to a point both her names appear on all of her official documents to save time) but it IS a rather poor choice of a name. Sometimes not even SHE remembers what it actually is. Maybe she can make 'Ms Mailmare' a thing... My name is lame Derpy Hooves, they call me My name is lame But its always been... Sometimes I forget What exactly is my name And I'll go inside my head For one less lame Either 'Ditzy' or 'Derpy Hooves' That's what they call me And it's even on my tax records! I don't kid you here... My name don't show up on the boards They don't know, you see But they don't listen when I try to tell them I don't kid you here... I say lame, lame, lame's my title There on my certificate Lame, lame, lame My name is officially a slur? Can't get any lazier... My name is lame, lame, lame Author's Note We're fast approaching one hundred chapters! And since I can't let such an occasion go unmarked, why don't you leave a comment saying what YOUR favourite parody/s are, and I'll commemorate them when the time comes?
87. There's Doom For Everyone(Note: Sung to the tune of Pete's Dragon's "There's Room For Everyone") Sung by Zecora This story is a story Zecora tells other young fillies and colts whenever she visits Ponyville on Nightmare Night. It's apparently based on a true story, but who knows whether it actually is... Below is the unedited version of her tale, with Applebloom's name filled in for the mane character. There's doom for everyone in that town In Sunny Town there is doom Creepy blank flanks in Sunny Town Sunny Town leads to doom It starts in the Everfree Forest, Don’t wander or rest With a filly, so silly Applebloom follows a mare, then gets lost Then it sort of gets worse, I fear It gets really creepy here There's doom for everyone in that town In Sunny Town there is doom A town where those with a mark don’t return Cutie Marks have no room! So there was a party, now ain’t that just arty! That seemed to be frozen in time… Applebloom found another mare Lamenting some crime And then she played ‘fetch quest’ without stopping to rest She looked and found Roneo’s ring Then she wandered some more, wondering what for They lacked cutie marks or anything! There's doom for everyone in this town In Sunny Town there is doom You have a cutie mark, you ain’t coming back Sunny Town leads to doom The edge of town, she finds a house, not even a mouse Lives in there, anywhere. She then peeks inside the fireplace, finds BONES in that place. She freaks right out, runs out to town, it’s gone all black and red and brown. Townsponies turned into undead freaks, But Mitta hold some at bay. The filly runs, but then loses her path But who turns up! I say! It is the mare Applebloom followed there Ruby’s ghost leads her out of the trees, Applebloom reunites with Twilight Sparkle, at last she’s free! And that’s my horror story. And now who wants candy?
89. Dull And Bland(Note: Sung to the tune of Tarzan's "Son Of Man") Sung by Twilight Sparkle, Applejack and Rainbow Dash With all of the Pinkie Pie clones running rampant all over town, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack and Rainbow Dash were at a loss as to how to separate the real Pinkie from her clones. Twilight had a spell that could banish the clones back to where they came from, but since the spell didn't just work on clones, they ran the risk of banishing the real one by mistake. It was then that the real Pinkie suggested a test that only the real one could pass. So the three began throwing ideas around for the most un-fun thing they could think of: whoever had the mind to be serious when it mattered was the real one. Oh, we have to think of dull And we have to think boring To sort the real Pinkie from the clones We could try manual labor; Sweepin’ streets is pretty lame… That wouldn’t work, they would ALL Make the job into a game! Dull and bland, what should we do? What’s the dullest thing we’ve got? It has to be serious too Dull and bland, to find Pinkie or not We could go to Applejack’s farm And make them count the grass What if they work together? They might finish that real fast! Dull and bland, what should we do? What’s the dullest thing we’ve got? It has to be serious too Dull and bland, to find Pinkie or not We could quiz them on somethin’ But they all share memories They’d all give the same answers to us three Oh, how about watching paint dry? I like it! That’s not bad! It involves just sitting REALLY still The fakes would all go mad! Dull and bland, we’ve got our test! That’s the dullest thing we’ve got! We’ll sort the real one from the rest Dull and bland, to find Pinkie or not Dull and bland Dull and bland, we’ll give this thing a shot Author's Note As requested by LE_MALEM
91. Bucking That Tree(Note: Sung to the tune of The Little Mermaid's "Under The Sea") Sung by Twilight Sparkle Tasked with harvesting apples from the entirety of Sweet Apple Acres until Big Macintosh's back recovered, Applejack went several days without sleep. It eventually got so bad that she didn't even realise what sort of trees she was trying to get apples from. Twilight had to step in and explain to Applejack that the tree that she was bucking was no more. It had ceased to be. It had expired and had gone to meet its maker. It was a husk bereft of life that had run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This was an ex-tree. You’re kicking a load of timber Fit only for firewood I know your brother’s back’s not limber For your sake and own good Go take a break or get help now You don’t even notice that The tree that you’re kicking is dead now Any second you could fall flat Bucking that tree Bucking that tree Clear in my eyes it’s Pointless exercises Take it from me You haven’t slept for several days Out in the sun you’ve slaved away I know you’re horsin’ Around exhaustin’ Bucking that tree That thing’s a husk lacking life there It’s past it, its glory days gone It’s not bearing any fruit, mare There’s no point kicking that one What will it take to make you believe? It’s as dead as dead can get The first clue is that it’s got no leaves You’re pointlessly working a sweat Oh no! Bucking that tree Bucking that tree That plant’s expired I’m not a liar It’s ceased to be It’s joined the choir invisible Spare you the feeling miserable Don’t spend durations Venting frustrations Bucking that tree Bucking that tree You’re losing sleep here You got to be here Naturally You’re just kicking a lifeless husk You can’t kick the trunk from dawn to dusk That’s just insane, just Spare yourself pain of Bucking that tree! It’s dead, go to bed! No more, that’s for sure! A stiff, don’t say “if” Just don’t kick anymore That stump is a dump It’s died, dunno why Don’t waste what’s left of your sense! Of life, it’s bereft That thing’s given out I’m sure it’s no more It’s passed on, no doubt Don’t add to the warps Of that wooden corpse! I speak with no offense Bucking that tree Bucking that tree Down in the bog there It’s popped its clogs there That I can see It’s shuffled off its mortal coil It’s stopped depending on the soil Its bucket’s kicked, so quit? I should think so Bucking that tree That trunk’s a bust there, stopping’s a must there Bucking that tree Pull up a bed and rest up your head, and Point that I’m making, you’re undertaking A pointless job now, just quit and stop now Bucking that tree! Applejack turned to look at the tree she was fruitlessly trying to harvest fruit from. "Ah knew that," was the reply. Author's Note Nine...
93. Pie-Diddle-Dee-Dee(Note: Sung to the tune of Pinocchio's "Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee") Sung by Pinkie Pie Rarity was wallowing in...whatever it was ponies are supposed to wallow in. Pity, perhaps? After a bad stunt at a fashion show, she felt her reputation had sunk. "We can't leave Rarity like this," Applejack remarked. "She'll become a crazy cat lady!" Pinkie cried. "She only has ONE cat," Twilight pointed out. "Give her time..." Pinkie warned. Pie-Diddle-Dee-Dee A crazy cat lady Whether its Manx or Persian or Tortoiseshell, she may start to hoard! Pie-Diddle-Dee-Day She'll steal your cats away! She'll steal some kittens, and then she'll be A crazy cat lady! Pie-Diddle-Dee-Dat She'll kidnap all your cats! A crazy cat lady! Pie-Diddle-Dee-Dee, A crazy cat lady! She'll shut herself from society With naught but her cats for company! Pie-Diddle-Dee-Doos, She'll become a recluse! You know deep inside she will be sad We all have to stop her going bad Before all the hairballs drive her mad! A crazy cat lady! Pie-Diddle-Dee-Dee. A crazy cat lady! She'll tell ponies to get off her turf, Or cats send them six feet under earth! Pie-Diddle-Dee-Dap Any second she'll snap, She'll go mad stealing cats to be, A crazy cat lady! Author's Note IMPORTANT! We're fast approaching the 100th Chapter! So in order to commemorate such an event PROPERLY, I need to know which song or songs were amongst your favourites to be placed in my little Hall of Fame in my 100th Chapter Spectacularmathon! Just leave a comment listing your best ones! Seven...
94. I Thought My Boss Knew(Note: Sung to the tune of Bolt's "I Thought I Lost You") Sung by Shining Armor's subordinates No wonder the Royal Guard lost to the changelings...when messages around the Royal Guard get passed around like a game of Quilinese Whispers, it tends to get lost in translation somewhere down the line... Nopony listens to sir Don’t hear a single thing we've said We take a leave of absence, We should report straight to the head Don’t know if he knows or not But soldiers say “Tell Captain Shining that I’ve a family reunion Coming up and I should vamoose, stat!” Somepony cover me til break And I told somepony who Didn’t tell anypony else… The promises we make! I thought my boss knew (when I was invited to some bubbly) I thought somepony else passed it on again Shining Armor thought I was gone And on and on the days went But a friend had invited me to drink And I hoped in my heart he had got my note, my friend And I got punished, but I thought my boss knew Lack of communication Has been a problem in our ranks But we’re all neck deep in drills And we got patrols up to our flanks So we tell Captain second hoof If we must make good on those promises we made I thought my boss knew (when I injured myself playing rugby) I thought somepony else passed it on again Shining Armor thought I was gone And on and on the days went But my spearing leg was totally busted And I got a note saying that I was on the mend And I got punished, but I thought my boss knew I once ran late to practice cos I went to see a movie with my cuz And I once missed a practice drill, I had to fix my windowsill Now here we are, are Here we are I thought my boss knew I thought my boss knew , too I thought my boss knew I thought my boss knew Yeah I thought my boss knew (when I had a date with my sweet hubby) I thought somepony else passed it on again Shining Armor thought I was gone And on and on the days went But my wife don’t take no for an answer And I had several other engagements to attend And I got punished, but I thought my boss knew But I thought my boss knew I thought my boss knew, too I thought it got through, got through I thought it got through, yeah yeah I thought my boss knew I thought my boss knew, too Author's Note IMPORTANT! We're fast approaching the 100th Chapter! So in order to commemorate such an event PROPERLY, I need to know which song or songs were amongst your favourites to be placed in my little Hall of Fame in my 100th Chapter Spectacularmathon! Just leave a comment listing your best ones! Six...
97. Are You Skipping Town(Note: Sung to the tune of Aladdin And The King Of Thieves's "Are You In Or Out") Sung by the crowd at Sweet Apple Acres and Twilight Sparkle It was over. The Flim Flam Brothers had won the contest with the Apple family, and the farm was theirs. They now had the monopoly over cider. Rather fortunately, although the contest was to see who could make the most batches of cider in time, the Flim Flam Brothers neglected quality control at the last minute to speed things up, and found nopony would even buy their cider. And so, the brothers were unceremoniously chased off the farm by the townponies, who were always quick to change their minds…a fact Twilight Sparkle did not miss. We remember a time Of cider sublime, There was plenty of drink in the air. You think we’re so stupid, We’d drink all your putrid Cider and not seem to care? I mean sure, yeah, we’re fickle On the slightest tickle, We bet on who’s the winning horse, So take your device, And get lost, be nice, We back Sweet Apple Acres, of course! Are you skipping town? We don’t like what just went down! If we want a drink we should rather think Support local business so they don’t sink! Are you gon’ get lost? Your stuff just ain’t worth the cost! We don’t like your kind here, your cider’s too brown! GTBO, please. Are you skipping town? Are you lot all joking? I’m this close to choking; You nearly sold out my best friend! Applejack’s family Could have lost it all, see; Her livelihood could have come to an end! But the fact is, it didn’t. Oh sure we were smitten, But now we know better, so there! …Your indifference scares me, Can’t expect you mares t’ be Sensible or seem to care… Are you skipping town? Your cider makes us all frown! You brothers just stink, we won’t buy your drink You’ll be gone before you can even blink Are you all insane!? We have worked down to the pain! You were totally cool Losing Applejack’s rule Makes no sense to me! Are you skipping town? We don’t want your kind anymore here, We shoulda known classic is best Silver lining is that the score here You both made enough cider in the test Drink up, everypony! Down the rest! Are you skipping down? Get lost, you untruthful young clowns (Yay!) And don’t come back here, Selling tonic, or we’re Not gonna forget you failed to endear! Somehow I doubt that… Your memories’ like a holey hat! You can lose it all, or get the heck out now What's it gonna be? Consider carefully. Are you skipping town? Author's Note As requested by ShadowLDrago. Stupid mob mentality... Three...
98. Ready All Your Betting Sums(Note: Sung to the tune of Pocahontas's "Steady As The Beating Drum") Sung by Spike It's the Running of the Leaves competition! Of course, the highlight of the event is Rainbow Dash vs. Applejack, who are competing to see who's the better athlete. How many bits are YOU willing to gamble on in favour of one or the other? Also, try not to listen to that one brown Earth Pony with an hourglass cutie mark who claims to know how it ends. "Spoilers!" Roll up, roll up, come and place your bets Step right up and place your bets Roll up, roll up, come and place your bets Step right up and place your bets Ready all your betting sums Applejack or Rainbow Dash? Don't miss out on all the fun; Two great rivals soon to clash! Twenty bits on Flying Ace Thirty more on Country Gal... Who's the fave to win the race? It's all down to two great pals! Things just went out of control Rivalry gone way too far Upside's that I'm on a roll Raking bits in by the jar Runners coming, here they come Ready all your betting sums Mood's electric, roll the drums, (Roll up, roll up, come and place your bets) Ready all your betting sums Roll up, roll up, come and place your bets Step right up and place your bets Author's Note As requested by keam. Two...
99. Appalled By This Together(Note: Sung to the tune of High School Musical's "We're All In This Together") Sung by Daisy, Rose, and Lilly Valley They overreact to EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. Over one measly stranger, or pest problem, or potentially fatal disease epidemic. I mean, who panics about THAT nowadays? The horror, the horror, the horror! Everyone The horror, the horror! Let’s panic cos we’re done! Together, we’re there for wrong reasons every time Together, together, it’s horrible, that’s right! Everypony, get to panic stations We finally figured it out (yeah yeah) We realize the ramifications That's what it’s all about (yeah yeah) Everypony remember Zecora Sure, it was a false alarm (it was a false alarm) But all the same She could have been here for ya What if she was out there to harm? Appalled by this together Oh, we know That we should Panic good And we see that Appalled by this together Our advice? Run away! Or you’ll pay! Or you’ll get what’s yours! The horror, the horror, the horror! Everyone The horror, the horror! Let’s panic cos we’re done! Together, we’re there for wrong reasons every time Together, together, it’s horrible, that’s right! Do you all Remember all the rabbits? They stampeded straight through town (YEAH YEAH!) Losing our heads became a habit Come on! Scream and shout We fall apart cos we're stuck together In a mess, one and all Appalled by this together Oh, we know That we should Panic good And we see that Appalled by this together Our advice? Run away! Or you’ll pay! Or you’ll get what’s yours! Appalled by this together It’s been mad Ever since Our new princ- ess came to town Appalled by this together What to do? Lose your cool, Like a fool And we fall down Oh sure, you may say Why is Panic Stations still Plan A? Well then, to stop fear, You got a better idea? That’s why we all say: Hope the problem goes away Barricade the front door But wait! There’s more; Lock the window too! Appalled by this together Oh, we know That we should Panic good And we see that Appalled by this together Our advice? Run away! Or you’ll pay! Or you’ll get what’s yours! Appalled by this together It’s been mad Ever since Our new princ- ess came to town Appalled by this together What to do? Lose your cool, Like a fool And we fall down That’s why we all say: Hope the problem goes away Barricade the front door Don’t go out anymore Lock the window too! Author's Note One...
The 100th Chapter Spectacularmathon! With ApplejackHello, and welcome to the My Little Disney: Music is Magic 100th Chapter Spectacularmathon. I'm here to count down the ten most well-loved chapters of this insane little project as judged by my readers, with some input of my own. I'm also delighted to announce that joining me in my attic by my computer side is Applejack. Hello there. The farmpony looked nervous. "Hi." She then looked around the attic. "It's...rather cramped here." Yeah, sorry, it is rather cramped, isn't it? But I appreciate you coming along, nonetheless. I'll even let you have my swivel chair. "Ya didn't INVITE me," Applejack sighed. "Ya used that strange monkey thang to whisk me to your attic." Ah yes, I should explain to our readers is that Applejack joins us from Ponyville today with the aid of a dimension hopping monkey I bought at Safeway, and she has generously agreed to host the event with me...as long as I return her home as soon as I'm done. And jut to preserve future canon, she'll have absolutely no memory of ever being here. "What Ah don't get is why it's lil' ol' me ya picked to co-host this thang," Applejack said. Because you're best pony. "Am Ah?" Applejack blushed. Yes. NOW THEN. I think we should get started on this countdown, don't you? But before I could get started, Applejack raised her hoof. "Uh...what exactly am Ah supposed to do, again?" Just ask me questions as I comment, and maybe insert a few observations of your own. Conversation 101. "Oh. Okay." It's time to count down the top ten Pony Parodies! "YEE-HAW!" Now you're getting into it! 10. Chapter 19: We've Got No Things I found this one surprising. When I first uploaded it, it barely got any comments until recently. But who am I to argue? "It's about Rarity after gettin' marenapped by nose low-down Diamond Dogs, right?" Applejack said. "Ah wasn't there for it, Mah friends and Ah only got to take her away. They were beggin' us to get Rarity away from 'em...was it that bad?" If you like, I could show you what it looked AND sounded like on a DVD I have at home! "DVD?" Never mind. "...Also, no thanks." Figures. But regardless, I enjoyed writing this one. Partially because I have more of a fondness for the older songs (although I'll do almost any movie), but also because I just found Rarity so fascinating in that episode. It was the episode that revealed that she knew about her inner-spoiled brat, and also knew how to weapon-ize it. Also, I have to ask. Applejack: Pinkie on Motor Mouth Mode, or Rarity whining? "Whining. At least THAT sounds like it would eventually stop." 9. Cabbages Any scenario that appeared in a canon episode are my preferred scenarios to write about. When I'm forced to resort to non-canon situations, I sometimes feel like the punny titles are a bit forced. "Well, this one made it on the list, so it's gotta be better than ya think it is," Applejack pointed out. She then craned over my neck, and read the lyrics. "Wait a second...what the heck is this!?" Oh boy, this is awkward...well, this was the closest rhyme I've got to 'Savages', you were the only pony I knew who had anything to do with growing stuff as far as canon goes, and I had a request to fulfil, okay? "Yeah, but...really? How do ya even know Braeburn and them buffalos would even...?" Now you know the evils of a dry imagination. At least it was overblown, like I want a lot of my song's situations to be. "Ah'm glad that Ah won't remember any of this when Ah get back," Applejack grumbled. She brought her Stetson hat over her eyes, and sighed. "Yer readers have weird tastes." ...Should I mention that I only picked this one because of the amount of comments it got, not because it was a favourite of mine...? 8. Chapter 5: Prince Blueblood Ah, an old work of mine... "Old? It's only 2 months old!" protested Applejack. Let's not get wrapped up in technicalities here. It's only the 5th Chapter, and as author, I declare it old. "...Okay...?" Applejack shook her head. "So why's it here? This song?" Well, readers didn't comment on this until recently, like the Chapter 18, so I can only assume it was by the power of re-read. That and I hadn't had a dedicated reader-base yet. But I know that both they and I liked it; I wanted to see how much of a jerk I could make Prince Blueblood. Another fanfic (which even has its own TV Tropes page, incidentally) prompted the idea. It seemed obvious. "Is that okay?" Applejack asked. "Rarity didn't talk that highly of him, but maybe he was only rude? Ah mean, who's to say...?" Don't you remember that canonically, he insulted your food in front of both you AND Rarity at the Grand Galloping Gala? "So he did. The low-down snake!" she growled. 7. Chapter 60: Bothering The Teacher Again, my preference towards classics lead me to do this parody. I haven't been able to mess around with Peter Pan songs as often as I would like, partially because I can't think of good titles, but also because I felt that some weren't long enough to justify a chapter. "Ah'm readin' this, and Ah feel mighty sorry for Miss Cheerilee," Applejack was looking at the laptop on my desk, reading through the song. "Even Applebloom was just a mischief maker rather than a nuisance on purpose." Well, at least it's not yet canon. Take comfort in that. "...Yet?" Applejack looked nervous. A problem student sounds like an excellent plot for an episode to me! Don't you think? "...Don't ya dare jinx it." Well, now I've said it, it probably won't happen. Pity. 6. Chapter 91: Bucking That Tree "Ah, right," Applejack said, squirming uncomfortably. "That wasn't one of mah better moments, Ah'll admit..." Well, I got a song out of it. Your loss is my gain. The remark earned me a swift buck to my side. "Yer a jerk." Well (excuse me as I rub my bruise here), to be honest, I came up with the idea before the title, unusually for my chapters. It was a trivial scenario I thought of round about the time I hit the 49th Chapter. I couldn't think of a good song for it until the request for Under The Sea came in. "And you leapt on it because tree rhymes with sea," Applejack said flatly. Yup. And it gave me the opportunity to exercise my references, because, well, who doesn't love Monty Python? "Ah don't, Ah've never heard of him," Applejack raised her hoof. And apparently neither did the folks commenting, they all kept imagining Twilight with a Jamaican accent...Well, at least it was somewhat well received for those who do know, right? Lesson here is to only work to the standard that won't get you completely screwed over. "But...that's not how yer meant to work at all!" Applejack hotly protested. "Yer meant to work as hard as ya can not just for yerself, but for others!" ...I'm pretty sure I'll have that misconception dispelled as soon as I find paid work. At least Applejack appreciates what she does because she's her own boss. 5. Chapter 11: Drama You Can Bring My only regret was that by the time I came up with this one, somepony else requested a Pocahontas song, so I had to delay their request for a bit until I felt there was enough distance between it and my idea. "...A song about Rarity's faintin' couch?" Applejack looked at the computer screen. "What?" It sounded funny in my head and I had to put it down on the fic before it disappeared from memory. I was at the train station (again) and I literally thought of the word 'faint', and... "Do ya always think of funny words when out in public?" Appejack brought a hoof to her face. "Ya sound like Pinkie." Well, there is a fine line between genius and absolutely crazy. Maybe Pinkie and I are in fact secretly geniuses? Applejack took one look at me, paused, and finally, she said, "Mmm...nah." HEY! 4. Chapter 56: Kick The Girl "What exactly was THAT all about?" Applejack raised an eyebrow. Oh yeah, you didn't appear in that episode, so you don't know. Well, there was an assertiveness seminar being held in the middle of town by a minotaur called Iron Will. Fluttershy attended, took his lessons to heart, and started to act like a colossal jerk to everypony. Including Pinkie Pie and Rarity. "Fluttershy? Really? She's the sweetest gal ya ever saw!" Applejack protested. Oh, it's true. She tossed a pony over her head because she was in the way. Heck, remember the time she caught RAINBOW DASH while towing a hot air balloon carrying four other ponies and a baby dragon? Seriously, take away her timid side and Fluttershy is like even stronger than anypony in all of existence. "...Even Twilight?" Applejack raised an eyebrow. ESPECIALLY TWILIGHT. There was a tense pause, before Applejack finally cleared her throat. "So this one's here because people liked the plot of the song?" Apparently. It also helped that Iron Will's lessons were in rhyme, which made it easy to write. Another request fulfilled easy! "Lazy bum," Applejack remarked. 3. Chapter 35: The Wonderful Thing About Fingers I didn't even have to resort to a rhyming dictionary online for this one. I instantly thought "fingers" and that was the end of it as far as I was concerned. It seems to be popular because it seems to fit perfectly with Lyra's character, and it's also easy how to imagine she would sing the song, if the comments on it are anything to go by. "That explains how ya barely changed a lot of the lines to it," Applejack remarked. "And this seems a little...loose. Ah thought ya preferred canon events to write about?" I do, but fanon interpretations are fine. Partially because their fan perceptions are almost certainly never going to be expanded on, but the writers for both the comics and the animated series seem to acknowledge them in-universe with some sort of in-joke. "Personally, Ah'm just waitin' for the time it turns out she has no clue what humans are." On the day that happens, many bronies will lose their reason to live. And they'd have to revise all their Lyra fics, which would be a pain. 2. Chapter 48: Hurling My Wife I wanted to do this parody for some time, but I really put off doing it since I already had a lot of requests from commenters to deal with and I couldn't find the time. "Not going to mention how ya didn't even think of starting on rhyming words for 'life' rather than 'circle', Brody boy?" Applejack smirked. ...Shut up. But unfortunately, it's true. I didn't even think of doing that until I was at my local train station (funny how a lot of my ideas come at the train station), trying to think of which request to respond to as I was heading to town. (At this point, the request for a Circle Of Life parody had come and I was sort of obliged to start on one.) I thought of the word "wife", and immediately had the title as soon as it happened. After that, I confirmed that 'hurling' could be used in the context I was looking for, and I typed up the title as soon as I got home. "And it's ranked this high because...it's a Circle of Life parody?" Applejack asked. "That's it?" Well that, and it's so...trivial! I love writing about something that happened once, and is pretty much never mentioned again as I said earlier, or a throwaway line worthy of a meme. "Meme?" ...If only Equestria had the internet. Actually wait, no, that would be bad. "It would be, there's people like you on there," Applejack said dryly. Shut up. 1. Chapter 17: Super Cutie Mark Crusader Experts On Explosions I had a feeling that this would definitely make it here, on this spot. This song was my most well-received one whenever a new reader realised this fic actually existed and gives it a read. I got the idea for this literally when I was working at the local charity shop. (Yeah, it's pretty lax on the whole 'keep thyself busy policy'.) I just thought of the word 'explosion' and I immediately thought of the only ponies I know in canon who could feasibly be associated with enormous booms. I couldn't stop grinning at the conceived name, and when I got back home, I immediately started writing it up; the only time I have ever worked on lyrics as soon as I think of a title. Applejack shuddered. "Heavens ta Betsy, those three. Ah swear Ah should have done keeled over in shock over all the property damage those three caused." It IS rather shocking, isn't it? But it made for great TV, and a song, so it's all good. "Ya wouldn't say that if ya had to pay for all of it," Applejack grumbled. And as long as I keep my dimension hopping monkey under control, I shall never have to. - We've made it to the end! But of course, it's not over. There's still tons of songs, heck, even MOVIES, from Disney I haven't even started on... "Oh horseapples..." sighed Applejack. Hey, just be grateful that you won't remember how any of this relates to me. Now then...I should thank all my readers, who stuck around with my insane little project, dropping likes and suggestions for songs; without you, I wouldn't have been able to even DO one hundred chapters! And of course, Applejack, for not attempting to murder me when my dimension hopping monkey whisked her away from Sweet Apple Acres, and hosting this chapter with me. "Not too late for that though..." Applejack threatened, scraping one of her back legs behind. Urk...okay, hold onto the monkey. I'll wrap this up myself. "Thank Celestia..." Applejack sighed. "If Ah wind up anywhere that ain't home, Ah'll kick yer scrawny backside...!" I don't doubt it. It looks like she's gone...Now then...dust off the microphone...hey, it's the 100th chapter. Even THAT has to have a song, you know. ...Try to imagine my voice being better than it actually is. Thank Celestia for text. With thanks to all my readers, here goes. When You Faved Me (Note: Sung to the tune of Toy Story 2's "When She Loved Me") Sung by Brony_of_Brody When I wrote this story Technically an exercise Every hour I spent just writing Lives within my heart I wanted a comment Motivate me to write more And when they were happy so was I When you faved me Through the hundred chapters wrote Some were good, some got down-votes, At least the reception was good Like it was meant to be And I got subscribers Someone there to read my junk And I knew that you faved me So the days went by I stayed the same I wrote about what came my way No matter how droll Still I waited for the day When I get at least a thousand views Lonely and forgotten Yes, but until that day arrives I'll write songs about insanity Just like I always do Since you faved me When you faved me When I wrote this story It was just a project piece Every time regulars came back Lives within my heart When you faved me Author's Note Off the top of my head, thanks to keam, Awesomo3000, Revenant Wings, The Princess Rarity, BrownDog77, sieurin, ShadowLDrago, SeanChow806Napoleonic, Ugly-Duckling123, HB_DS2013, Dirty Bit, SoldierForce, Le_DragonBroneE, dragonspinner33, Spirit Guide, iamthesoulfinder, and Blue Sparkle 227 for regular input and suggestions for my strange little fanfic. For you guys, I'll soldier on and write! Stay tuned as we return to your regularly scheduled parodies next chapter!
103. And Twice They Did Explode(Note: Sung to the tune of A Goofy Movie's "Upon The Open Road") Sung by Spike Of course harnessing love to power mundane household objects could only end badly. Top leading Canterlot scientists had found to their cost that the magic of love was so powerful, that it could potentially cause even a basic teleporting spell to take them to an alternate dimension, or a kettle to possess enough energy to level an entire castle in one explosion. Eventually it got to a point where it just went out of control and ponies were actively expressing love to power everything, resulting in a lot of property damage and singed manes for all involved. To curb this, residents of Equestria are being advised to at least give nearby ponies the cold shoulder every once in a while. Oh, and Rainbow Dash was put in a dungeon for fear of what the effects would have on her. Do ya need to learn about what happened? Did ya hear how they used love by loads? Listen up to this cautionary tale You could spare yourself all the anguished wails And learn how ‘bout twice, they did explode! C'mon, listen! Uh-huh! It starts when Cadence and Shining Armor Used love to blow Chryssy to the road And a scientist got this bright idea He breaks out his kit and his science gear Not knowing that twice he will explode! He claims that love is so strong Why not use it some way To power conveniences of life? He never thinks it’s so wrong, Oh, he will rue the day Magic out of context just brings strife So ponies start adding love to everything Like construction work and lifting load And it isn’t long before it goes Horribly wrong, keep on your toes In some cases, twice they did explode One pony tried to move a cupcake, But love turned it into a huge toad! It towered five hundred feet high, It could breathe fire and even fly Right before twice it did explode! One Pegasus can make a big tornado (Yeah!) It caused a destructive episode (Very odd!) But hey, at least it blew away The cupcake toad right out the fray In the sky, yes, twice it did explode! Some of you want some context, How CAN you blow up twice? Well, first you explode in the normal way… (Magic!) You absorb magic, and next Your body pops, not nice; The cells inside your body boom wa-hay! And so the lesson that is to be learnt here Magic A ain’t Magic B, that’s the code! Don’t use a big destructive force For working mundane tasks, of course It ended badly, see For everypony And that includes that geek Twice he did explode! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123.
104. Perfect Dragon(Note: Sung to the tune of The Emperor's New Groove's "Perfect World") Sung by you...um...if that's alright with you... Crackle is best dragon. That is all that needs to be said, I think. I mean, look at her vacant expression and her inability to form coherent sentences, and her strange body shape. She's not perfect, and that's okay! There are dragons and alicorns OC ponies who are met with scorn There are one-scene wonders that stay in the mind… There are heroes and there’s villains And background ponies, they’re just chillin’ Bronies give them names and natures so refined But there’s someone who just rules No one has ever been this cool In about four years of this craze of pony! She appeared in just one episode - But these guys all seem to lover her loads The quintessence of derpiness that is she She's the sovereign queen of the blank look She's the best dragon in all the books She's the reason any dragon costume works! See, if the disguise is terrible Look at her and you’re less vulnerable Being imperfect definitely has its perks! What's her name? Crackle That's her name Crackle She's the world’s best dragon Crackle Is she hip or what? Crackle Yeah! She's the great reptilian dark-horse Despite not being mammalian, of course She's the alpha, the omega, A to Z And as long as the fandom lives All attention they will give To the one-scene wonders, our thanks to you from me! What's her name? Crackle That's her name Crackle Is she hip or what? Crackle Don't you know she's the world’s best dragon? Crackle Oh yeah! Ow!
105. Whistle While You Lurk(Note: Sung to the tune of Snow White And The Seven Dwarves's "Whistle While You Work") Sung by Scootaloo Hiding in Applebloom’s closet…admittedly, without context, it does sound rather unusual…but Scootaloo having to lie in a huge pile of Applebloom’s ribbons in her own house was part of a plan to pretend to be Applebloom so that the real Applebloom could make a delivery to prove she could be independent. Actually, that STILL doesn’t make too much sense. Thing is, having to spend hours and hours in a small furniture piece is rather dull. So, how to pass the time? Just whistle while I lurk (Doodoodoo-doo-doo-doo-doo) I’m hiding out in AB’s house pretending I’m not here So hum a merry tune (Hmhmhm-hm-hm-hm-hm) The lack of thrill gives time to kill as boredom draws on near I’ve counted all her bows, ‘Bout three-six-five or so Didn’t know Applebloom had here One for every day of the year So whistle while I lurk (Doodoodoo-doo-doo-doo-doo) Or else I’ll bust collecting dust so whistle while I lurk Just whistle while I lurk (Doodoodoo-doo-doo-doo-doo) I can just tell that Sweetie Belle is less bored than I am So hum a merry tune (Hmhmhm-hm-hm-hm-hm) She gets the bed to rest her head and I get body cramp And there's not much to do I also need the loo… But I can’t leave the closet or The game is up just like before! So whistle while I lurk (Doodoodoo-doo-doo-doo-doo) ‘Til Applebloom comes back too soon I’ll whistle while I lurk
106. Secret Writing Libel(Note: Sung to the tune of Mr Toad's Wild Ride's "Secret of Survival") Sung by Diamond Tiara and Applebloom When Diamond Tiara became editor for the school newspaper, the Foal Free Press...in hindsight, perhaps it was a bad time for the Cutie Mark Crusaders to try their hoof at a journalism cutie mark. Diamond Tiara wanted nothing to do with the namby-pamby stories (despite protests Namby-Pamby was a pretty good editor) and so the CMC became the anonymous Gabby Gums and found a rather compromising scoop featuring Snips and Snails. The paper for the day sold like hotcakes. Putting it nicely, Diamond asked: Would they do it again? Gabby Gums is hot as fire! Get more scoops or face my ire! You’re a secret writing libel in a journalistic world Make up stories on the fly! I don’t care if you must lie! You’re a secret writing libel in a journalistic world You’re a secret writing libel in a journalistic world Ah’m havin’ second thoughts, as well… Don’t care, I’ve got papers to sell; More papers than you could ever dream of! If you’re not caught, then you’re okay Go ahead, make my day! Write about DJ-Pon3’s fillyhood accordion! Or ‘bout Lyra’s strange desire to walk upright and just run! Every creature writing libel has to tread real carefully… Public scorn is rife; guard with your life your true identity! Out my office! Quick, be off! Is It too much to ask that you blank-flanks not be here? Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! Gabby Gums is hot as fire! Get more scoops or face my ire! You’re a secret writing libel in a journalistic world Make up stories on the fly! I don’t care if you must lie! You’re a secret writing libel You’re a secret writing libel You’re a secret writing libel in a journalistic world
109. Yes, My Plot Is...(Note: Sung to the tune of The Emperor's New School's "Yzmopolis") Sung by Rarity and Discord Flank. Butt. Plot. Whatever you call it, there's a pony who has an opinion on it. And nopony is more concerned about looks in Ponyville than Rarity. Rarity recently became concerned she may have put on weight, and has become rather conscious about the size of her flanks. Discord thought it was hilarious. First there was the ice-cream, Then the cookie dough, Comfort food has made my Flank size grow and grow... Yes, my plot is growing atop all this! My flank’s getting bit too wide Yes, my plot is growing atop all this! I don’t like big butts and I cannot lie My behind grew in size though if you ask my friends, I’m sure that they’d be polite, But I know it’s the end! "You know, it has gone to my thighs, so what in Equestria will it do to the rest of me...?" Yes, my plot is growing atop all this! The region that grew large Yes, my plot is growing atop all this! ‘Bout the size of a barge, B-U-T-T! What does that spell? It’s butt! Yes, my plot is growing atop all this! I’ll get all sorts of looks… It's glorious Victorious I always laugh uproarious 'Cause Rarity’s euphorious I ought to hit the books… They’ll say “Girl got flank”, They see that my booty’s like a tank, All that food went to my thighs, But I guess in hindsight Least it didn’t make me fat, THAT would be the end of that Exercise, it doesn’t help It rounds the butt that I was dealt Discord finds it funny that my backside’s so big… Yes, that plot is quite on top of this! I think it looks fine from here; But that won’t stop me teasing her Come on, is that so wrong here? "Oh, what if I end up losing my youthful metabolism!? I mean, it’s all well and good, I think I managed to avoid the worst, I’ve only come away with a flank I think is MUCH too big, but one day, very soon..." Yes, that plot is a bumper crop, it is! I knew it! It’s too big! Yes, my plot is much too wide for this! What do you think? Stop taking digs! I think next time I’m in a slump, I’ll anguish myself thin. The angsty diet, I have tried it I’m good at that, it’s win-win! (Ha ha ha ha ha!) First there was the ice-cream, Then the cookie dough, Comfort food has made my Flank size grow and grow... What my plot is! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. I regret nothing.
110. Totally Hurled (Guest Submission by Le_DragonBroneE)110. Totally Hurled (Guest Submission by Le_DragonBroneE) (Note: Sung to the tune of Pair of Kings's "Top of the World") Sung by Chrysalis She was so close, Chrysalis. She almost took over Canterlot and had defeated Celestia. But then her student, Twilight Sparkle, came and ruined Chrysalis's supposed-to-be-perfect day. Even though she had gotten rid of Celestia (she was surprised that Luna hadn't shown up anywhere to get revenge, or something), and was about to take the throne, Shining Armor and Cadence literally use the power of their love to each other to blast away all changelings, including Chrysalis herself, out of Canterlot to Faust-knows-where. Don’t bring it on Totally hurled We’re getting totally hurled We’re getting totally hurled We're getting to-to-totally hurled We got defeated so ponies come put their hoofs up Totally hurled We're getting totally hurled Me & my hive, yea, we got pwned all over Totally hurled We're getting to-to-totally hurled I hate Cadence, yo Shining Armor, Al-so Yea, We're so sick of ‘em, yea Say, we're so sick of em, yea We hate the princess’s rule, Easy to believe and it's true Yeah, were so sick of it Say, we're so sick of it, Almost had the throne, now the bride is mad, yeah Getting totally hurled We are so doomed, now, can’t turn our backs now, yeah Getting totally hurled No no no no (hey) No no no no no Totally hurled We're getting totally hurled We're getting totally hurled We're getting to-to-totally hurled Their love is awesome Yeah, it was completely crazy Totally hurled We’re getting totally hurled Oh-oh I actually thought That the hive and I were meant for greatness Totally hurled We're getting to-to-totally hurled We need some love, you know Just so we could survive We're so sick of it Say, we're so sick of it, yea Oh, Why were they so cruel? Hard to believe but it's true Yeah, were so sick of ‘em Say, we're so sick of ‘em, Almost had the throne, now the bride is mad, yeah Getting totally hurled We are so doomed, now, can’t turn our backs now, yeah Getting totally hurled No no no no (hey) No no Yeah, we're so sick of ‘em... Said we're so sick of ‘em Don’t bring it down We're getting totally hurled We're getting totally hurled We're getting totally hurled We're getting totally hurled We're getting totally hurled We’ re getting totally hurled We're getting to-to-totally hurled Almost took the throne, now the bride is mad, yeah Getting totally hurled We are so doomed, now, can’t turn our backs now, yeah Getting totally hurled No no no no (hey) No no no We’ re getting totally hurled We’ re getting totally hurled Yeah We're getting totally hurled
111. The Gala Of Canterlot Castle(Note: Sung to the tune of Davy Crocket's "The Ballad of Davy Crocket") Sung by Princess Celestia The Grand Galloping Gala is one of the most important social events in all of Canterlot. But to be quite honest, a formal dance is rather dull for a pony who enjoys a spot of fun like Princess Celestia. And so, she sought to invite the six most important ponies that everypony should know along, hoping that in light of their recent exploits, they could inject some spark into the otherwise boring occasion. Or they could just turn the entire thing into such a fiasco that it would be abandoned. Princess Celestia wasn't particularly fussy. It all started right here in Canterlot, The Grand Galloping Gala was the lot But the G.G.G’s boring, just not hot But as Princess, I had to be at the spot Canter, Canterlot Castle, host of the G.G.G! So I sent out invites to Twilight, see One for herself and a V.I.P But she sent them back saying “Not just me, I’d like ALL my friends to be at the party” And I, and I knew then, this might work out for me! So of course I said it was fine for them, For seven guests to turn up by ten (Yes, I included Spike), but when The night drew up, it was time again Canter, Canterlot Castle, host of the G.G.G! The girls wanted to make this their night, Pinkie Pie wanted to party right Rarity sought a prince dressed in white, Fluttershy to see the animal sights At the, at the Gala, this was their only chance! Applejack, sell pies for her family, Rainbow Dash with Wonderbolt V.I.Ps And Twilight just wanted to talk with me, So they all had dreams for the big party At the, at the Gala, among the talk and dance! The night starts well for all those involved, Then a mystery that will go unsolved: How did all order just de-evolve? A noisy outcome goes unresolved Canter, Canterlot Castle, host of the G.G.G! I’m much too busy for a friendly chat, Fluttershy can’t be friends with even a cat And Rarity meets with a stuck-up brat, Pinkie’s rowdy self, the guests don’t like that Badly, badly going wrong for the six best friends! Applejack made two sales in an hour, Rainbow Dash is also feeling sour The Wonderbolts know her, but fame towers, Alone with Rainbow, they can’t spare an hour Badly, badly going, is this how it all ends? But the six have been waiting all their life, an' they don’t want to let this chance slip by If it’s the last thing they do, they will try To make this the best night ever. Why? Canter, Canterlot Castle, host of the G.G.G! Despite it all, it only gets worse, A stroke of bad luck descends like a curse Pinkie thinks her disapproval’s to soon reverse, And so she sings to another rowdy verse Pinkie, Pinkamena, the mare who don't know tact! And Fluttershy is slowly going insane, Creases in her brow, a disheveled mane; She’s rigging a trap in the garden again, But even when crazy, they’re still too tame Flutter, Fluttershy is starting to lose her mind! Still nopony cuts Applejack some slack, The stuff she made are still on the racks So she aims to please, so to spurn the flack, Dress ‘em up a bit and then come back Fancy, fancy foodstuff, outclassing her entrees! And as AJ wheeled in the cart with wares, Intent that everypony should share Pinkie dived into the cart without a care, Sending a cake flying through the air Apple, Apple Flake cake, ace of the farmpony! And Blueblood, lest his appearance break, The very last straw Rarity could take He threw the poor mare, thinking of his own sake, Into the path of the speeding cake Apple, Apple Flake cake, received straight to the knee! And as Rarity chewed out Blueblood fierce Her death glare surely could solid rock pierce His eyes weren’t peeled and nor were his ears, He topples a statue of aging years Blueblood, Blueblood Princy, keeping the chain at three! Rainbow Dash saw this as a favour call, She could save the statue and stop its fall And despite the efforts of ponies all, The statue and columns smashed to pieces small Twilight, Twilight Sparkle, said “It can’t get worse to me!” Then right on cue, Fluttershy’s own wreck, She looked just ‘bout ready to wring some necks And so, with everypony’s due respect, I advised Twilight to run like heck Running, running away, Twilight running the race! They got the message and made to flee, A slipper was dropped by Rarity Her prince would find her, exclaims Pinkie, So she stomps the slipper. Good move to me… Slipper, Glass-hoof slipper, crushed into smithereens! So there was Spike drowning sorrows grim, They were all alone, Pony Joe and him Twilight’s friends escaped by their teeth’s skin, To the donut shop at Canterlot’s rim Pony, Pony Joe’s shop, your donut one-stop place! I joined them later, they thought it blew, But they all just did what I hoped they’d do; Go to the Gala and turn the screw, Liven it up, or wreck it true Canter, Canterlot Castle, host of the G.G.G! Author's Note As requested by Sparkfire.
112. Give Me The Pimple Knife(Note: Sung to the tune of Meet the Robinsons's "Give Me The Simple Life") Sung by Nurse Redheart Nurse Redheart is, if nothing else, a true professional in the line of medicine. One time, a patient wit quite possibly the largest spot that she had ever seen came into the Ponyville hospital, and everypony knew it had to be operated on. There was no other alternative. Great, if it wasn't for Nurse Redheart listing all the metal, possibly very sharp, objects she'd need. Right within the patient's earshot. This did nothing to ease his INCREDIBLE nervousness pre-operation. This patient’s urgent! We need the surgeons, This zit’s so big, it’s rife! Bigger than we thought here, what’s he brought here? Give me the pimple knife No anesthetic? That’s just pathetic! That could threaten his life! Just give me the crowbar, stop 'fore it spreads far, Give me the pimple knife A sharpened saw is all I'm after And something to stop blood flow The pain may send him through the rafters Then we let the patient go Don't turn too sour, it's just an hour Of extreme pain and strife This will sting slightly putting it mildly; Give me the pimple knife
114. Breaking Things(Note: Sung to the tune of High School Musical's "Breaking Free") Sung by Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle The Cutie Mark Crusaders are, well, extremely eager in their quest to discover themselves. So eager, in fact, they quite often don't pay attention to the vast amounts of property damage that these three fillies leave in their wake. Unfortunately, it's very hard to make any sort of punishment stick for very long when even punishments are but opportunities for these three. We're bendin', smashin' There's not a house in Ponyville We ain't bust For lack of trying So we're breaking things You know the town can see us In a way we look like accident masters Creating space between us We’re walking disasters But we’ll find our cutie marks That’s why we sing We're breakin' things!! We're squashin', snappin' There's not an inch of property We ain't bust For lack of trying So we're breaking things We're breakin' things Uhh-uhh-uuuhhh Public spots and building Vandalised with no restraints or keys Cos Ponyville doesn’t have A good local police (The police, oh-oohh) We were left to run riot So let the bells all ring We're breakin' things!! We're tearin' crushin' There's not an inch of town That we haven't been For lack of trying So we're breaking things We're breakin' things Uhh-uhh-uuuhhh Yeah-Yeah Ohh-ohh Now's the time Now's the time So we're breaking things Ooohhh, we're breaking things Uuuhhh, yeah Quest to get Cutie marks Let’s try the Local park And they’ll never see it comin' More than you More than me Not a want, but a need Both of us breakin' things Slittin' Warpin' There's not a spot in Ponyville We ain't smashed For lack of trying So we're breaking things Breaking things, yeah-yeah-yeah We’re grounded Oohhh, punished To get to the place To be all that we can be Now's the time Now's the time So we're breaking things Ooohhh, we're breaking things Oh-oh-ooohhh You know we won’t stop trying Cutie Mark Crusader Jail Breakers, Yay! Author's Note Aaaaand now I officially start running out of songs again. Leave a suggestion in the comments, do. Please.
115. True To Your Chart(Note: Sung to the tune of Mulan's "True To Your Heart") Sung by Rainbow Dash One day, Rainbow Dash announced to every pegasus in town that Ponyville's reservoir had been picked to supply Cloudsdale with the water for the entirety of Equestria's rain for a year— and the only way to move all that drink was to mak a tornado that could make enough lift to get it all to Cloudsdale. If anypony needed to know how strong, Twilight Sparkle's handy-dandy graph would give the answers. A least, if you knew maths, anyway. Ponies, I knew at once that we have a job here Deep in my soul, I know that we must get in gear Though you're unsure On how to move The reservoir To Cloudsdale by hooves Ponies, I see your future, despite all the murk I know that we must get eight hundred wing power to work But I’d rather beat The record of A thousand wings Of power above True to your chart You must be true to your chart Any less and we fall apart And, ponies, we can’t make enough lift Open your eyes Your chart can tell you no lies And when you're true to your chart I know it's gonna lift the water up Not even seven hundred and ninety nine And Celestia knows how many bits isn’t fine We need the wings that we can get Just trust your chart And the deadline’s met! True to your chart Girl, my chart is telling me to synchronize All the pegasi should in one direction fly You check the graph You’ll know the speed You won't get stuck With your chart to guide you True to your chart You must be true to your chart Any less and we fall apart And, ponies, we can’t make enough lift Open your eyes Your chart can tell you no lies And when you're true to your chart I know it's gonna lift the water up True to your chart You must be true to your chart Any less and we fall apart And, ponies, we can’t make enough lift Open your eyes Your chart can tell you no lies And when you're true to your chart I know it's gonna lift the water up True to your chart So let’s make this tornado! If you don't know where to start Just check back on your graph and Just be true to your chart Now go home, stretch your wings or We’re doomed right from the start Don’t forget, take the graphs home Just be true to your chart True to your chart Author's Note As requested by Revenant Wings
116. No Payout(Note: Sung to the tune of Brother Bear's "No Way Out") Sung by Fluttershy "100% satisfaction or no payment." Those were the exact words regarding Iron Will's assertiveness seminar. Fluttershy, as it turned out, wasn't satisfied with the results (I mean, you can't look back on the fact you threw at least 3 ponies into a pond and not feel bad), and so, she felt it ought to be free. Everywhere I turned I hurt someone But there's nothing I can say to change the things I've done “One hundred percent satisfaction or your money back” Iron Will, those exact words were yours, and that’s a fact There's no way out of your tag-on No like, no money I know I hurt ponies But I can't see another way And I can't bring myself to pay Tell me where did I go wrong I even went and sung a song About stomping ponies to the ground But I didn’t like the scene And that’s why there’s no payment to be found There's no way out of your tag-on No like, no money I know I hurt ponies But I can't see another way And I can't bring myself to pay Can't believe the words I spoke Pushing around like it’s a joke And when I think back, I feel shame This thought, this act, this lack of tact I know It's hard but found somehow To look into your eye and to declare right now You've given me the strength to say that I’m not satisfied You've given me the strength to not pay out I see the loophole in your clause I see my future And your exact words has meant no fee Oh, and I can see another way Don’t have to pay you today (I see the path) I can see the path I see my loophole (I see the loophole) I see how to avoid the pay I see my loophole I see how to avoid the pay Author's Note As requested by hamcon
119. We Can Pry(Note: Sung to the tune of Peter Pan's "You Can Fly") Sung by Twilight Sparkle and Rarity When Spike realized during the once-in-a-lifetime event called the great dragon migration that he knew little about himself, having grown up in an all-pony society, he announced to his friends that he would leave on a journey of self-discovery by joining the migration. As his friends waved Spike goodbye, Twilight and Rarity glanced at each other. "...We're following him, right?" "Of course." Think we should follow behind, Save his scaly small behind? Do we track his progress, yeah, Follow Spike round everywhere, Give espionage a try? We can pry, we can pry, we can pry!!! There'll be trouble on the way, He'll be lost throughout the day! Think of all the trouble when, He gets pushed around and then, He's left hung out to dry! (Ohh...) We can pry, we can pry, we can pry!!! Off he goes With a Hi and Ho With a knapsack on his back There's a dragon herd waiting for him Where he's the lowest on the rack The runt, puny, he's on trouble's track! When there's a problem ahead We should sort it out instead Catch up before it's too late Avert Spike-wikey's fate By being pony spies! We can pry, we can pry, we can pry!!! Yes, we should follow behind, Save his scaly small behind! We must track his progress, yeah, Follow Spike round everywhere, Give espionage a try! We can pry, we can pry, we can pry!!! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123.
120. Ambulance(Note: Sung to the tune of Phineas And Ferb's "Fabulous") Sung by Pinkie Pie After Rainbow Dash got into a rather bad accident of a somewhat bumpy (others would say "crashy" but bumpy works too) nature. Panicking, Twilight told Pinkie to call Rainbow Dash an ambulance. So that's exactly what Pinkie did. Oh hey there Rainbow Dash, Twilight said to me, “Call Rainbow Dash an ambulance” you see. I think Twilight’s playing a pretend-y game, But I don’t think it’s a good time, all the same. Twilight: “Pinkie! Not LITERALLY!” But you don’t have a big cross that’s bright red, No blue and red siren on top of your head. No room in the back for a patient or four, On either side, you don’t have a door! You have to admit, Twilight’s confusing. Rarity: “Never mind, I’ll do it…” Rainbow Dash: “MY WINGS!” Twilight Sparkle’s given you A new nickname, maybe two! You're an ambulance. (An ambulance!) You’re an ambulance. (An ambulance!) I don’t get it, but okay! Your new name is... (But why, anyway?) You're an ambulance. (An ambulance!) You’re an ambulance. (An ambulance!) What the heck do you have in common with A medical vehicle? A true wordsmith Would see a pattern sooner than I, But as for me I do have to try! Unless Twilight Sparkle meant I should “Call up” an ambulance? That would be good! Well, why didn’t Twilight say so at first? Then I could help before you got worse! But, still, it’s a funny name So I’ll still call her that, the same! You're an ambulance. (An ambulance!) You’re an ambulance. (An ambulance!) I don’t get it, but okay! Your new name is... (But why, anyway?) You're an ambulance. (An ambulance!) You’re an ambulance. (An ambulance!) Author's Note As requested by The Princess Rarity.
122. When Can I Eat Things Again?(Note: Sung to the tune of Wreck-It-Ralph's "When Can I See You Again?") Sung by Twilight Sparkle When Twilight Sparkle first came into Ponyville, it was under orders from Princess Celestia to oversee the Summer Sun Celebration. And make friends on the side. Upon meeting Applejack, Twilight found herself unable to escape the Apple Family and their hospitality... Twilight left Sweet Apple Acres feeling considerably fuller than before. And with a lower opinion of the town than before to boot. When can we do this again? When can I eat things again? When can we do this again? When can I eat things again? When can we do this again? When can I eat things again? Went to the farm to see who would provide Catering for the festival tonight It was Applejack and her enormous clan She wouldn't let me leave, without some pie and some flan My tummy's three times its normal size I've had it up to here with Apple pies Why's everypony in town crazy? It's the whole town vs. Spike and me But before I go consult my list I gotta know, 'til then, when can we do this again? Oh oh oh oh When can I eat things again? Oh oh oh oh When can we do this again? Oh oh oh oh I gotta know, when can I eat things again?? (When can I eat things again??) Lethargy looms, yeah I feel quite bloated The Apple family's been duly noted Look all around at all the leftovers left at brunch It's just a matter of time, before digestion's big crunch My tummy's three times its normal size I've had it up to here with Apple pies Why's everypony in town crazy? It's the whole town vs. Spike and me But before I go consult my list I gotta know, 'til then, when can we do this again? Oh oh oh oh When can I eat things again? Oh oh oh oh When can we do this again? Oh oh oh oh I gotta know, when can I eat things again?? Do close your eyes 'cause my stomach may eject soon It's just a matter of time, just not 'fore the afternoon My tummy's three times its normal size I've had it up to here with Apple pies So let me know, was staying truly wise? When can I eat things again? Oh oh oh oh When can we do this again? Oh oh oh oh When can I eat things again? Oh oh oh oh When can we do this again? Oh oh oh oh I don't think I can take anymore I could lose my lunch over the floor But before I go consult my list Tell me when When can I eat things again? When can I eat things again? Tell me when When can I eat things again?
125. This Is How I Clean(Note: Sung to the tune of The Nightmare Before Christmas's "This Is Halloween") Sung by Spike Spike, as number one assistant to Twilight Sparkle, does absolutely everything Twilight Sparkle asks of him. Of course that includes cleaning the Golden Oaks library and recently, Twilight's newest castle. No dust or grime ever escapes the watch of Spike. Fillies and colts of every age The stuff I am trying to rearrange Come with us and you will see Watch the method how I clean This is how I clean, this is how I clean Mopping floors until late at night This is how I clean, with soap suds I can't be mean Scrub and brush Twilight's bedroom soon as it gets light It's our home, everypony scream Look at Spike, look how I clean This castle is fifteen hundred square feet Thankfully I'm happy doing her sheets Twilight insists on cleaning up the rest Just one more reason that my job's the best This is how I clean, this is how I clean How I clean! How I clean! How I clean! How I clean! In this castle we call home I polish floors all morning long! By today, it should sparkle now Everybody's waiting for the next surprise Found my bucket and my mop in the trash can Rainbow Dash's newest prank...yeah, it's a scream... Scream! This is how I clean Detergent, shiny green Aren't you bored? Well, that's just fine Say it once, say it twice I also keep out the mice Get the washing up done by tonight Everypony scream, everypony scream Watch me, pal, it's how I clean I am the dragon that's armed with the brush Scrubbing the walls taking care not to rush I am the assistant sorting the books So that Twilight Sparkle knows where to look I am the guy scraping gum off the chair Pinkie just leaves litter everywhere! This is how I clean, this is how I clean How I clean! How I clean! How I clean! How I clean! How I clean! How I clean! Muddy hoofprints everywhere Left by a certain farmer mare Scrub that mud, with vigor keen In my task it's how I clean In this place Clean the room post-haste! Everypony's waiting for the sparkling room Applejack wiping her hooves out back And use a new wipe rag Use a new soap bar again This is how I clean, everypony leave Wont' ya please make way til I've finished cleaning, guys? Spike's your dude for scrubbing and mopping food Everyone hail to the Cleaning Aide, now! This is how I clean, this is how I clean How I clean! How I clean! How I clean! How I clean! In this castle we call home I polish floors all morning long! La la-la la, How I clean! How I clean! La la-la la, How I clean! How I clean! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123.
126. Sheets And Rolls(Note: Sung to the tune of Oliver and Company's "Streets of Gold") Sung by 8-Bit, Poindexter and Gaffer Back in his high-school days, Shining Armor's group of friends composed of educational outcasts who only desired to keep to themselves playing Oubliettes and Ogres. Shining Armor nowadays has little opportunity to exercise his level 47 paladin figurine, but if he could convert his time in the Royal Guard and being Prince of the Crystal Empire into campaigns, he'd be the strongest player around. He learnt from the best, though. It's no surprise. Now listen up Your party stands before The great Cave of Bits. Suddenly, A troll attacks! Roll for initiative! Or would you rather turn and flee? When you've got Haste you always take first turn Level Three Firebolt! That troll's gonna burn! We now gotta roll for damage check Rolling a twenty to Crit it to death Stopped him tearing out our skulls Check our sheets and rolls After the fight, that's when you spot a ring It's lined with silver, it's valuable bling! Do you rob the troll's corpse cold? Prep the sheets and rolls Course we take the bling! It's a thief thing! We could sell this for big bucks! Oh whoops, too bad That there ring is CURSED Turning all liquid to sand, tough luck! And that includes your potions, by the way. Uh. just a thought occurred to me today How much water in pony bodies? You said, "all liquid". Do clarify, please. Insta-kills for amateurs! You can fight the curse And stop your whole body from leaking sand Roll, then compare it to resistance and Do you turn to sandy gold? Check your sheets and rolls... Oh no, tough luck there, you just rolled a one So did Poindexter. Don't tell me we're done!? Now you're both dead. You did not survive Roll was against you 'bout staying alive Greed has forced you both to fold That's the sheets and rolls That was the shortest campaign that I played! We killed just one monster! No progress was made! Until next campaign, I'm told By the sheets and rolls Author's Note Inspired by the comics. Also I have never played D&D so be gentle.
130. Night Light(Note: Sung to the tune of The Brave Little Toaster Goes To Mars's "Fight Right") Sung by Applejack and Applebloom It could only be described as the worst possible timing. Applebloom was only occupying herself after completing her household chores with time to spare (by dancing on a table), when Applejack came home, surprised Applebloom, and then she fell off the table, resulting in quite the mess. Applejack then decided it was probably best if Applebloom wasn't left unattended. Mah sister has only one thought: To keep me from being danger-fraught Do ya need me to tuck ya in? I'll bring ya cocoa without the skin! Ah think Ah'll live, Ah won't die in mah sleep... A burglar with a shiv, Might storm the Apple keep! Yer caring's overbearing, ya know... Ah'll pick ya up when yer feelin' low...! Independence; this surely is a riddle Is this filly helpless or not? Probably the truth, or somewhere in the middle. For those that are good; For those who are bad. And this bothers us a lot! Ah'll read ya a bedtime story, Somethin' happy, nothin' too gory! Ya make it sound like I'm too frail, Like my organs will up and fail. Ah'm not falling for All the overprotection. Ah'm just calling for This safety correction! It's not like Ah'll die... Ya might! Wait, what! Why? Ah'll lock all the doors... And you've sealed up the floors! It's just ta make sure. It's way too excessive! But hang on, there's still more! That's being obsessive... Make sure ya stay put Easy when-...when-...Ah'm locked up...! Ya want me to leave the light on? Don't bother, not like Ah'll be gone. Fine or not fine, a matter of perspective, Physically, it's pretty safe. But both of us worry 'bout diff'rent perspectives, Ah'd like some 'me' time... Watch her ALL the time! Is there risk of scars and chafes? ...Nope. Nope? Okay, but Ah'm in the next room, If ya need me to save ya from doom! Look, sis, can Ah just go ta sleep? Turn off the light, that request ain't that steep. Night Light! Night Light! Night Light!
131. Build A Little Missile(Note: Sung to the tune of Pinocchio's "Give A Little Whistle") Sung by Rainbow Dash Rainbow Dash had been working on a tricky new stunt for Wonderbolt Training (this was before she received ACTUAL Wonderbolt training which was considerably more thorough and challenging. It basically involved a complex looking see-saw (it had to be more complicated than it looked if a falling pony's weight, in this case Applejack, could eject Rainbow Dash 500 feet into the air) and Rainbow managing as many tricks as she could before she was forced to flap her wings. It was all going well until Applejack worked herself to exhaustion, and got the timing totally wrong as a result. Take a log and wooden planks and stack them right on top, Build a little missile, build a little missile. Reinforce the see-saw so the wooden parts don't flop, Build a little missile! Build a little missile. Not just a little jump, soldier up and leap. Cos if my missile's weak I'll- -Fall to the floor Take the nails and hammer them on one end to direct, Build a little missile! Build a little missile! And always wear a helmet, don't forget! Let Twilight do her egghead maths so there are no defects, Build a little missile! Build a little missile! And always wear a helmet, don't forget. And always wear a helmet, don't forget!
133. Mah Swell Avenger Cream(Note: Sung to the tune of The Princess And The Frog's "Ma Belle Evangeline") Sung by Marine Sandwich It all started with a hopeful Equestria Super Chef Championship entrant called Marine Sandwich. Applejack was at the venue making a delivery when she was mistaken for Sandwich and got entered into the Championship using her name. She tried to take her proper place and got kicked out as a result. And that's how ~~Equestria was made~~ she built a humongous gun that shoots fondant and vowed revenge on all that had wronged her. As you do. Look at the frosting it fires, Mah swell Avenger Cream. All the ponies that aspire, Very soon in horror they will scream. Je t'adore, Je t'aime Avenger Cream, You're my weapon of choice, So sticky, So moist! That someone as talented as me, Denied contest entry!? And so I built a gun that shoots I'm cutting loose, Avenger Cream! Vengeance is beautiful, Vengeance is wonderful! Vengeance is everything, do you agree? Mais' oui! Firing at a thousand PSI, I love you, Avenger Cream! Author's Note As requested by coolcat61
134. Quite Harmfully(Note: Sung to the tune of The Little Mermaid's "In Harmony") Sung by Daisy, Rose, and Lilly Valley It was the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny; a good guy, a bad guy and explosions, all to decide the fate of Equestria and all of its worldly magic! Thing was, the Tirek vs Twilight showdown left a lot of environmental damage. Being the nature-lovers they are, Daisy, Rose, and Lilly Valley did what they did best, and raised a massive fuss over it in the aftermath of the whole incident. What a big disaster! Think of all the grass! Environmental damages Are high-priority class! We should sue Princess Twilight Maybe small or great For destruction to conifers And flowers in a state! Quite harmfully Harmfully Think of the trees And flowers please! It hurt quite harmfully I don't care if that Tirek Would make magic a loss You committed a dreadful sin By laying waste to some moss! We speak and fight for nature It deserves to be won! We'll get our best attorneys and Go get compensation! Quite harmfully Harmfully The hedges burnt Is what we learnt! It hurt quite harmfully Quite harmfully Harmfully Explosions blew A forest in two! It hurt quite harmfully Quite harmfully Harmfully Think of the trees And flowers please! It hurt quite harmfully Think of the trees And flowers please! It hurt quite harmfully Author's Note As requested by Fetch
135. I Love The Bath(Note: Sung to the tune of Mary Poppins's "I Love To Laugh") Sung by Rarity A trip to the spa is always in order for Rarity whenever things get way too much, or to celebrate another fiasco mostly averted with her friends. Here are the most common reasons for feeling the need for a therapeutic soak: Celebrate the fact that nopony got hurt, which is all you want really. When excessive amounts of filth was involved doing something to help. Angst bathing (she's too classy for a mere Shower of Angst) Any mention of Prince Blueblood. I love the bath Hot with suds and foam I love the bath At the spa away from home The more I soak The more I lose the grime And the less the grime The more of a wonderful time (It's embarrassing!) The more of a wonderful time Sometimes I feel I deserve it After some things like this (Mmm...Dreadful) Like Pound and Pumpkin threw up, goodness sake Or helping Pinkie Pie bake (Not at all attractive to my way of thinking) Soak in the tub No need to scrub Pass me the oils and towel When with my friends I can't wait for the end When things get much too stressful I can't hide it inside and squeak As the fabulous lean I've got to get clean with Lotus and Aloe And a nice thick book too I love the bath Hot with suds and foam I love the bath At the spa away from home The more I soak The more I lose the grime And the less the grime The more of a wonderful time (It's embarrassing!) The more of a wonderful time
137. Mustard(Note: Sung to the tune of Phineas and Ferb's "Busted") Sung by Pinkie Pie You get ponies who put so many things on hot dogs: ketchup, jam, onions...but in Pinkie's case, she prefers the much more traditional mustard. Not hot sauce, though. That is strictly an addition for cupcakes only. You are a heathen for even suggesting it. I can see the things you're doin' And you think that I'm naive But I'm not into ketchup or Getting jam on my sleeves (That is if I have any sleeves To get themselves smeared up in sauce) I just don't see just what you're doin' Why you'd put marmalade, stop and pause! Don't think I'm not a hot dog gal 'Cause you better believe that we're all hot dog pals, it's true You know it! (yeah) You know it! It's just that I simply prefer mustard! (Mustard!) I don't wanna put on mild stuff And you better believe me I want the sauce that'd turn normal tongues coarse and rough, That mustard. (Mustard!) Yeah, you may suggest I use hot sauce, The differences can't be profound, But that's totally different of course, To mustard! You see one is colored red, It looks like ketchup in your head, And that's no good, cos in my food, I want mustard instead. And I don't care what you've found, That's like saying square is round, Or like saying up is down, (Saying up is down) It starts with a "M"! (Starts with a "M"!) It goes M-U-S-T-A-R-D! That is mustard! (Mustard!) I would never ruin dogs in that way And you better believe me, That hot-sauce and mustard is like night and day, (Totally different!) It's mustard (Mustard!) Don't think I'd use hot-sauce or jam... Yeah, no onions or anything... (I don't wanna know) This is how it's gonna be, I'll always take hot dogs with one thing, (I'll have it! I'll have it!) With mustard! Author's Note As requested by dragonspinner33
139. Crazy Vines(Note: Sung to the tune of Dumbo's "Baby Mine") Sung by Twilight Sparkle The Tree of Harmony was surprisingly active for something supposedly dying. Then again, a magical tree can probably get away with sprouting spiky thorns and devouring half of Ponyville when it is no longer being sustained by the Elements of Harmony... Before that was discovered though, Twilight and her friends tried to deal with them the hard way... Crazy vines, wrecking homes Crazy vines, far they roam Spiky whips swallowing town Stuff's going down Crazy black vines Is Discord behind this? Rainbow Dash's spiky clouds Fluttershy's home got devoured Got swallowed by Crazy black vines Applejack's not coming back Weeding the farm for a while Rarity's horn is enaging What could make Everfree start enraging? From your head down to your hoof Magic plants tear the roof All set to start freaking out Panic about Crazy black vines Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. Please don't leave it to JUST her to suggest things plz...
140. Carrying The Planner(Note: Sung to the tune of Newsies's "Carrying The Banner") Sung by Spike Before coming to Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle believed studying was life. This is usually unfortunate for an assistant who has no obligation to be educated, but not for Spike. Duty come naturally for him, and every morning was spent making plans for the day, and then making plans FOR the plans. Let's make a list! And then another! Spike the Dragon's got work to do! Writing the schedule's such a bother But no sense bawlin'! I'm writing two? We spend ten minutes writing out The whole day and what is in it! That's why the first hour counts Only the first fifty minutes! After that we Start the next! Tomorrow in detail... Moving them quills! Feelin' vexed! From the start to tail! Ain't it a fine life, carryin' the planner through it all! A mighty fine life, carryin' the planner tough and tall! Every mornin', I'm checking the jobs down While we're walking through town On scrolls quite light-ish brown What a fine life, carryin' the planner home-free all! Marking down the checklist's checklist Not a sec to spare! Making ticks until I'm witless For a purple mare! Still, it's a fine life, carryin' the planner in my claws! A mighty fine life, organizing Twilight's day of course! I'm a snoozer Twilight makes me wake up Forcing me to take up Late noon napping straight up What a fine life, carryin' the planner through the day! Twilight Sparkle Though you calculate and you plan Accounting for, The whole time-span Twilight, listen You need to learn to set aside Relaxation Times, how I've tried! The shopping ought to take 30 minutes, then we make Enough time to get back home And go do some more research! Go look at what I got Wish I could catch a break Sure hope the research's not Too boring, I just can't take Much more, it's all I got! Someone, keep me awake... Cos the problem here is The closest and nearest Best thing that Twilight Sparkle has to fun Is studying magic And that's way too tragic Being holed up with company to shun Look! They're having a big party! But no time for parties, Got better essays From Celestia to complete! She was gonna start at twenty Now two dozen'll be plenty You will scribe on all twenty four sheets...? What'll you say, By the way? Get the wax stamp, And get cramp! Will you tell me? Go scribe on all twenty four sheets! "We need reliable citations!" So Twilight Sparkle says of course! "With all the latest information!" Least I'm not scribing, could be worse! I think I'll go make some dinner It'll be some time Before she feels it's a winner Literacy sublime! Still I'll be in here, carryin' the planner for the day! We'll be in here, writing every word in in some way! See the headline: Essay work: Two hours! Not that I'm too sour Since it's in her power To get gemstones Carryin' the planner is the- Look! The clock is striking seven! Writing stops at seven! It's time to check on something That's been sitting on the shelf! It's some chemistry in testing It's been going with no resting! Tell me what is so interesting About this stuff and your health! Then she takes a shower The only thing not school related But I think she has a stopwatch Just to get the timing straight-ed Every second Is too precious Feels it shouldn't be unstated and I- It's a fine life, carryin' the planner through it all! A mighty fine life, carryin' the planner tough and tall! See the highlight: Shower time: Half hour! Not that I'm too sour It's recess while she showers What a fine life, carryin' the planner! It's a fine life, carryin' the planner! It's a fine life, carryin' the planner! It's a fine life, carryin' the planner! It's a fine life, carryin' the planner! It's a, GO! Look! The clock, it strikes eleven! Bedtime's at eleven! Well it's usually Twilight's, My own bedtime's bang on eight! But I'll put it off til later She needs help with something greater! I'm an acting translator Scribing runes until quite late! I honestly don't mind I'll work night shifts if I have to Even if it's not good for me She could work and stop right at two Every second is too precious Making charts and all the graphs too I'm an assistant The one assistant Twilight's assistant The best assistant Go!
141. Short And Pitiful(Note: Sung to the tune of The Hunchback of Notre Dame's "Court Of Miracles") Sung by Applejack "Ah hate to say Ah told ya so, Twilight, but Ah told ya so!" shouted Applejack in a tiny voice, jumping up and down on Applebloom's back. "It's a curse, Ah tell ya!" Maybe you've heard of a terrible place Where a zebra who came here Hides out in the wood We're headin' out to that Everfree place Cos Ah'm short and pitiful And that ain't good! Ah'm four inches high Ah can barely talk Ah'm left high and dry Cos Ah'm too hoofin' small To do anythin' at all Everypony else at least kept their size And keep up a decent gallopin' speed Right now Ah'm short and pitiful Ah have to ride someone else as a steed! Ain't got no strength cos Ah'm short and pitiful Shame Ah'm in no shape to give a good kick But once Ah'm back to mah normal size quickly That zebra will wish that she held back her tricks! Because we've seen all the evidence Shrunk! Way too small! Four inches! Way too small! Short as pin! Ah find Ah'm totally useless now Except for paperweight jobs So Ah'm going on in! Author's Note As requested by Revenant Wings
143. More Than A Scheme(Note: Sung to the tune of Cinderalla III's "More Than A Dream") Sung by Twilight Sparkle The plan could best be summarized as "Let's publicly humiliate Rainbow Dash by dressing up as a superhero until she stops showing off." It's absolutely foolproof! Probably. Hopefully. I've always schemed About Rainbow Dash Stop her showing off And being way to brash So we make a Batmare knock-off And then even out the score Make it something more Than a scheme! Then one magic night With a single mare Rarity made the Best costumes anywhere And for once she'll learn humility As Mare-Do-Well mops her floor And it is so much more So much more than a scheme She won't say it never happened Just a dream from the start Hopefully She will bounce back From a broken heart If it's a burning house Or rescuing a falling mare If there's any chance of robbery Mare-Do-Well will be there What could possibly Go so badly wrong? By the time we're done Rainbow's ego won't last long! There's a better life that's waiting Past the mountains she must climb Humble's something she should learn To stop her bragging all the time The idea's so much more So much more Than a scheme
144. After Toupees(Note: Sung to the tune of A Goofy Movie's "After Today") Sung by Pinkie Pie Did she seriously have to hang off a flagpole, with a megaphone, proclaiming Cranky Doodle Donkey's follicle-ly-challenged status for EVERYPONY to hear? Cranky certainly didn't think so. Especially since it was HER fault for thinking his toupee was a spider and stomping on it. He's been hairless since I can't remember But you're not gonna laugh anymore No more "Cranky the Bald" I am frankly appalled as before He's a follicle-ly challenged member And so I need a wig right now, stat! If you can't manage wigs I'll take hats that are big Just like that! Just like that! Just like that! JUST LIKE THAT! Gonna find some head gear Gonna spread the big news Cranky Doodle Donkey is bald, don't let him stew! I'm after toupees, or maybe some afros After toupees, for a mule! After toupees, so gimme some ammo Something that's trendy and cool! I've got one sorry donkey who's head is all shiny Who's missing his hair and Whose pride is all tiny! Just know that it's serious business I need a wig thrown my way I will be spending today after toupees He gave me stink-eye And who could blame him? I can help out by Telling everyone hear that he's bald and it's clear I'm after toupees, or maybe some afros To replace the one I broke...(Blech!) After toupees, so gimme some ammo Slap-headed-ness is no joke! I've got one cranky donkey Who's missing head cover So please stop your laughing And cough up another! Just think of all the time I've been losing How much clearer can I say? Gonna need some new hair And he looks really cross Cos nopony will stop and resolve his great loss If you have wigs, can you stay? After toupees I need a wig thrown my way After toupees
145. The Pressure Is A Horrible Thing(Note: Sung to the tune of Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search For Christopher Robin's "Adventure Is A Wonderful Thing") Sung by Rainbow Dash "Just because you've failed the Sonic Rainboom a hundred thousand times in practice doesn't mean you won't be able to do it in front of an entire stadium, full of impatient, super-critical sports fan ponies," Fluttershy assured Rainbow Dash, in the hopes that it would restore her confidence in time for the Young Fliers Competition. It...did not have the intended effect. "MY LIFE IS RUINED!" Hoo, hoo Today's the day In only a matter of moments I'll mess up in some way The heck's a Sonic Rainboom? Not a soul can say And I can guess More or less My life's ruined Under stress Ah, the moments of glory Is out of reach "Ha ha," They're gonna all screech The pressure is a Horrible thing I may freeze up in terror I'm just not in this thing No strength, no nerves No heart, no wits I may make like a banana and just split The pressure is a lot And a half The fans are gonna see me They'll point at me and laugh The shame, the trip The mess, the spill I'll never Join the Wonderbolts Maybe I never will That's the bad side of the pressure It's strictly sink or float It runs you 'til you're ragged Then it grabs you by the throat I know I won't survive it Cos the chances are remote Hoo, hoo, on my turn I'm gonna crash and burn The pressure is a horrible thing "I almost forgot the very worst part: I not only get to crash and burn in front of everypony INCLUDING THE PRINCESS, but I also prime myself a great media target as the laughingstock pony who couldn't do it again either!" And I Will never fly Ever again I'll be laughed at then Exiled Ain't that just WILD!? Right here Take a look The fates are perfectly clear With my incomplete method of flying I've everything to fear Through the wringer And the fire Walking on The tightrope wire I wish I could be bolder Remember, Dignity's salvaged fate Rests completely on my shoulders, Doom... (Excuse me, bye...!) Failure looms! That's the horror of the pressure The trembling and the dread If I knew those jerks from Flight School came I would have stayed in bed Perhaps I could skip out? Cos I wish I was dead Hoo, hoo, got no clue How the heck I will pull through I'm all set, to freak out Nerves gone up the spout Make a fracas, panic lots Got excuses like the trots What's at stake is everything Oh cruel fate, where is thy sting? The pressure is a horrible thing Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123.
146. M-I-L-D(Note: Sung to the tune of The Jungle Book 2's "W-I-L-D") Sung by Fluttershy Fluttershy really can't cope with loud noises. Not even her own. That is somewhat of a problem when you form an opinion of your own. Eventually the problem of expressing herself was solved with quite obvious actions such as jumping out of a window in protest, but it's still not a good idea to hire her as a foghorn. When I start to shout, hey honey It ain't no joke It barely registers in pony ears It's barely a croak (Barely a croak) Ha ha ha! 'scuse my invisibility I'm M-I-I-I-L-D!! When the music plays I can't talk over the noise (Can those at the back hear?) Even classical can drown out my tiny voice! Uh huh... You see I'm naturally M-I-I-I-L-D!! It's a chore to bring out the noise in me I don't have natural fury I'm not loud, I'm not proud Oh yeah, whatever (I'm quiet as a tree) From the maddest cat to the sweetest little dear I can't speak up or I'll just seize right up in fear I'll move on quietly...go M-I-I-I-L-D!! Whisper and squeak Up high or deep underground, You snarl, we shriek (Vout o roonie!) My head pounds and pounds and pounds! Please stop shouting at me, kthx there baby! I got no steam for a good scream My loudest yell is barely felt And when I speak it's like a squeak My hardest shout just can't come out! The strongest roar, within my core The best shout out is hardly stout The loudest sounds for miles around are M-I-L-D!!! Here's the thing: I sound broke; I never squawk I don't stack 'gainst alarm clocks I know my voice is not like scraping chalk! When you shout like that hey honey I start to shake (can't stand it!) I really don't like noise since it sounds like big earthquakes But I wanna be heard! Ask me why and I won't lie M-I-I-I-L-D!!! Whisper and squeak Up high or deep underground, You snarl, we shriek My head pounds and pounds and pounds! My oh me, I'm naturally M-I-I-I-L-D! Oh dear me, I'm uniquely M-I-I-I-L-D! Every beastie's louder than me... M-I-I-I-L-D!!!!!
147. Struma-Plucka-Whistle-Toot-Kazoo(Note: Sung to the tune of Home On The Range's "Yodel Adle Eedle Idle Oo") Sung by Pinkie Pie This would have been so much easier if somepony actually asked Pinkie WHY she felt the oddest compulsion to hoard musical instruments during the Parasprite invasion. Now listen up! There are parasprites in town Some horseapples going down, I fetched some trombones, drums, and big brass trumpets... Well, they're good as they may be, Lure them back to Everfree, And then come back home in time for tea and crumpets! I'm a machine, gals- Toot, whistle, pluck and boom And you ain't seen, gals, The brass band in my room: You see, I struma-plucka-whistle-toota-booma! The loudest form of pest control around! 'Cause when I struma-plucka-whistle-toota-booma They conga line and go after the sound! Bang that drum, toot that horn, Saxaphones until the morn, Which ain't easy when your lungs are 'bout to get all worn! Yes, if you realise why I stole your trombone too, I sure can struma-plucka-whistle-toota Struma-plucka-whistle-toota struma-plucka-whistle-toot-kazoo! "Oh hi Princess Celestia, don't mind me! Just passing through!" Yes, I can struma-plucka-whistle-toota-booma A sound them buggies truly take to heart! Yeah, I can struma-plucka-whistle-toota-booma! You should have listened to me from the start! Think I left...Rarity At the parasprites' mercy Broke in to take her recorder Now it all makes sense, you see! Yep! I'm the band who saved your flanks without pay too! Thanks to my struma-plucka-whistle-toota Struma-plucka-whistle-toota One girl-band playing without a crew 'Cause I can struma-plucka-whistle-toot-kazoo! Struma-plucka-whistle-toot-kazoo! Author's Note As requested by Thomlight Sparkle 1
149. Can't Climb Back Down(Note: Sung to the tune of Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam's "Can't Back Down") Sung by Applebloom Applebloom looked down from the top of the twenty meter oak tree. She knew at once that a Cutie Mark in abseiling was not right for her. All she could do was stare sadly at the rope she dropped when she ascended to the top. And yell for help. Again. I can't, I can't climb down Ah can't, Ah can't climb down Ah can't, Ah can't climb down Ah can't, Ah can't climb down Not right now, Ah can't climb down Not right now, Ah can't climb down Ah can't climb down Oh, yeah Please get me down... Ah'm stuck on top an oak tree Wherever ya are in town Please go get a ladder from somewhere Anywhere Ah can't climb down There's too much at stake This is serious Don't walk away Ah can't pretend Ah've got a ladder In mah own backyard And now Ah'm stuck (No luck) Ah have called out Anypony there? Ah'm kinda trapped No rope to spare Ah can't climb down Someone help somewhere? Don't walk away Don't walk away, yeah Don't get me wrong Ah had rope when Ah got here Then Ah dropped it All right to the floor A Cutie Mark in abseiling Is failing Ah can't climb down There's too much at stake This is serious Don't walk away Ah can't pretend Ah've got a ladder In mah own backyard And now Ah'm stuck (No luck) Ah have called out Anypony there? Ah'm kinda trapped No rope to spare Ah can't climb down Someone help somewhere? Don't walk away Don't walk away, yeah We got a situation that we can't ignore A filly trapped in a tree Can't afford to take this, no With every passing hour I risk breaking an important time for curfew Can y'all help me? Ah can't climb down There's too much at stake This is serious Don't walk away Ah can't pretend Ah've got a ladder In mah own backyard And now Ah'm stuck (No luck) Ah have called out Anypony there? Ah'm kinda trapped No rope to spare Ah can't climb down Someone help somewhere? Don't walk away Don't walk away Ah can't climb down, Ah can't climb down Not right now, Ah can't climb down
151. In Ninja Company(Note: Sung to the tune of Pocahontas's "Virginia Company") Sung by Pinkie Pie Do you need a full Fluttershy bodysuit? Ask Pinkie. Do you need a dark stealth outfit for breaking and entering a hospital with? Ask Pinkie. Do you need to be where the pony you're stalking is heading towards first? Ask Pinkie. She's either a professional ninja (a really good one) or a very enthusiastic amateur. Midway through Season 2 in A suit used by Dashie Was used to break into a room Like ninja company And I've got a Fluttershy skin That I wore in Season 3 Come straight to me for your stealth needs I'm ninja company At hide-and-seek, I never lose I'm ninja company Oh yes, how do you explain it? Cos when you try to flee You run away to somewhere else And bump straight into me It's an art, and I have trained it, Be a stealthy quick pony! So please hang out with Auntie Pink I'm ninja company I give logic no time of day I'm ninja company Author's Note As requested by Dirty Bit
155. Remedies(Note: Sung to the tune of Phineas and Ferb's "Frenemies") Sung by Zecora Need a good cure for what ails ye? With Zecora around, there's a potion for that. Need to flash-back to the past and suffer bizarre out-of-context hallucinations? There's a potion for that. Do you wish you were an Oscar Meyer Wiener? Well, there's probably a potion for that too. I have pick-me-ups In different cups When you need to see a medic, baby, I have just the sups I've got some potions for the trots and Perfumes, tonics, vials (lots) and Even simply a nice stiff drink Or fluid for cleaning out sand! Cause my remedies They are all-purpose fixer-uppers Yes, my recipes Will put you right before supper! Three foals asked me for my potions Trying to be experts on explosions But I could tell that it would cause some unneeded commotion Cause my remedies They are all-purpose fixer-uppers Yes, my recipes Will put you right before supper! Hello there, are you suffering from swine flu? I've a remedy for that too! Author's Note As requested by ShadowLDrago. Now then, could I have some non-Phineas and Ferb suggestions, plz?
156. Get'cha Head Out That Hole(Note: Sung to the tune of High School Musical's "Get'cha Head In The Game") Sung by Fluttershy When you're basically dependent on magic for everything, what does a unicorn DO during Winter Wrap Up when tradition says "no magic"? Twilight wasn't sure, so she started with Rainbow Dash. But her job involved flying to different places, so that was a bust. So she tried joining Rarity in bird-nest making, but they were so terrible Rarity often had to slap her hooves away and do them herself. So she tried to join Pinkie in ice-breaking, but magic doesn't give you a lot of muscle tone or coordination, and she crashed. And sweet Celestia, don't mention what happened when she tried to help Fluttershy wake up hibernating animals. They are NOT morning animals. I said to not just look in Because didn't you spot the traces of the shed skin? Oh, good morning by the way Gotta go find Twilight, so have a good day! She ran into a cave Into flocks of bats Hope that she's okay... You gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole You gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Let's make sure that the beehive's alright She might have broke it when it fell from that height A second chance, gotta stop her right now And maybe this time I'll teach her on how! Wait a minute, get'cha head out that hole Wait a minute, get'cha head out that hole Wait a minute, get'cha head out that hole Oh! Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Why is she doing it wrong? That cave is no good The skunk spray, it is strong She stinks like diseased blight Oh, good morning, friends! You better clean that... Should I recommend Twilight be moved somewhere else? She wanted to help so much, but now she just smells Oh no! Twilight found a scorpion's sole I gotta get get her head out that hole Now is Twilight okay? Is the stinging too deep? Should she go on her way? Since the job is too steep I think I'm going insane Those bears are bringing the pain... Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole Gotta get'cha, get'cha head out that hole Gotta get'cha get'cha getcha head out that hole
158. Everything Is Wrong(Note: Sung to the tune of Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search For Christopher Robin's "Everything Is Right") Sung by Cheerilee The answers the Cutie Mark Crusaders gave Cheerilee on their latest test left her rubbing her forehead with her hoof. Points for thinking outside the box, maybe, but the results did leave something to be desired. Here's an extract: "Q: Define the term 'partnership'." "A: A ship that needs two ponies to drive." Wrongs answers, row after row First highs and now the lows Hippies aren't small hippos What could be more wrong? "Name six things in Everfree?" "Four owls, two mice, no, three!" After school, come see me... What could be more wrong? Nothing can go right Cos everything is wrong 'Free press' is not 'bout ironing! Nothing can go right Cos everything is wrong And everything is wrong, I sing "When Celestia was crowned, First thing she did in town?" No points for just "Sit down"... What could be more wrong? Nothing marked as right. Yes, everything is wrong, A dead parrot's NOT "polygon"! Nothing can go right As long as everything is wrong And everything IS wrong Top to bottom Everything is wrong Varicose means "close by"? Don't think that is right... Perfectly, horribly, totally I need a drink Right now... Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123.
159. Unhappy Scooping Song(Note: Sung to the tune of Enchanted's "Happy Working Song") Sung by Fluttershy Fluttershy shuddered, as she prepared the plastic bags and the scoop. Although this task was routine to her day, she felt it never seemed to get any easier. Perhaps it was because she was a fairly reserved and prudish pony. As much as she loved her animal friends, she could never get used to poop-scooping duty. "All right everyone, time to tidy things up!" Get set, block my nose As I sing an unhappy little scooping song Cleaning litter trays that smell so strong Watch me shovel dung up Can't leave it, or I'll spoil it So I clean these square-shaped toilets As I work along So I start with little birds first things first And the worst, the bears poop something grand Scrub the bird mess off my roof, and sand To the marching band Of unhappy scooping songs All my friends from birds and bees Give their homes a mopping Hosing down the lavatories And scrubbing up the droppings Ooh! I try to keep my spirits up with a little La-da-da-doo-doo, An apt description of the doo-doo And I whistle too Unhappy scooping songs Oo-ooh Unhappy scooping songs Oh, how rank a job to have Scrubbing all of those lavs My heart is sighing Still, as long as I am here Coming home to cleaner nests Makes it worth trying ...I'm not crying... Put my gas mask on, I'll be gone With unhappy working tunes to hum For these bear caves make my nostrils hum Two a day, they find a way But I'm determined To toilet-train with some learnin' Wearing nappies, that's not wrong Singing as I swap every inch of cave And the burrows and I make sure to save My home last If you cannot sing then hum along As I finish my unhappy scooping song! Author's Note As requested by lalamelody2019.
160. I Never Know What You Are(Note: Sung to the tune of Treasure Planet's "I'll Always Know Where You Are") Sung by Rainbow Dash Tank is often mistaken for a turtle. He is definitely not that, but it's hard to remember the exact classification of his species. Heck, even FLUTTERSHY sometimes forgets Tank is in fact a tortoise. Much to Tank's frustration. But unfortunately he takes so long to voice his objections that nopony hears him. It's good to have a pet here in this place But now we have a problem in my home We all know you are a tortoise, but I always think you're something else instead Somehow, we ALL forget That there's no doubt That you are not a turtle, no siree Even though it's plain you're a tortoise I never know what you are When I see you there I never know what you are What you are And I tell myself, please do not forget He really cannot swim, he sinks like stone But I know that I'm not alone In thinking he's a creature of the sea Somehow, we just think You're something else A case of mistaken identity Even though it's plain you're a tortoise I never know what you are When I see you there I never know what you are What you are And it's all so clear, but even so Not even Fluttershy remembers that You're a tortoise and not a turtle I never know, I never know what you are When I see you there I never know what you are Shame to say, it's true I never know what you are When I see you there I never know what you are What you are
161. Your Bother And Mine(Note: Sung to the tune of Peter Pan's "Your Mother And Mine") Sung by Rarity and Applejack Even if Rarity and Applejack have virtually nothing in common in regards to attitude, interests or anything else, there is one thing both mares can agree on. Their sisters need to learn to plan ahead before they cause more property damage trying to find their cutie marks. "Well our sisters, now we both love them, but they DO need to cut back on their excursions; And I've forked out bits fixing all they broke Civility, all up in smoke!" Your bother and mine Your bother and mine We worry sick over what comes next They lengths they go leave us perplexed Your bother and mine Your bother and mine What makes sisters all that they are? Might as well ask, "Why set the bar?" Why can't they do anything tame? Their hearts will say,"Cos it's just lame." Fiascos of their design, Your bother and mine!
164. The Princess Has Arrived(Note: Sung to the tune of Meet The Robinsons's "The Future Has Arrived") Sung by Princess Luna "Hello, everypony. Did I miss anything?" Everypony couldn't help but think Princess Luna slept through the best part of the buildup to the wedding (or worst, depending on whether you were one of the victims of the changelings). And Princess Celestia couldn't help but think, "Again?" The princess has arrived The princess's arrived Nap-time took a dive So what'd we miss? What's everything about? It's better for you and it's better for me If we heard the tale from the mouths of everypony The princess has arrived The princess has arrived today Yes, we're still alive, alive as can be Rumors of our death, got blown up you see We just took a nap, and missed out the fun At least we assume it was, everyone It's time to catch up What happened while we were gone? What's with all the rubble? And green slime on the lawn? The princess has arrived The princess has arrived today The princess's alive The princess is alive today The princess's arrived Nap-time took a dive So what'd we miss? What's everything about? It's better for you and it's better for me If we heard the tale from the mouths of everypony It's time to catch up We woke up to blinding light And what looked like ponies Thrown towards the sunrise You did all see that, right? The princess has arrived The princess has arrived today The princess's alive The princess is alive today The princess has arrived The princess has arrived today The princess's alive The princess is alive today The princess has arrived The princess has arrived today The princess's alive The princess is alive today The princess has arrived today
165. (Monitor) Every Little Piece(Note: Sung to the tune of Pete's Dragon's "Every Little Piece") Sung by Twilight Sparkle It all started when Twilight Sparkle was visited by herself FROM THE FUTURE. She dropped off a message saying not to panic about something happening next Tuesday...and vanished. The Twilight of the present tried everything to avert the catastrophe, but after realising that she was only looking more and more like Future Twilight, she knew nothing was working. Clearly, in light of the futile attempts to avert the future, Twilight logically concluded that there was only one thing left to do. Monitor absolutely EVERYTHING. Everypony, Everfree, and especially watch for Pinkie Every little piece Every little piece Haven't slept for days on end, for worrying, scurrying Keep a watchful eye on what passes by There's enough of town to go around Listen, listen, listen for the sound Every little piece Every little piece I only have three days left til it hits, so I sit Watching everything, every horn and wing Even little bugs that buzz and sting Will be watched for every little thing I'm not panicking, no, not I Just being cautious is all The smallest speck will never slip by Until Tuesday I'm playing the spy Until Tuesday I'm playing the spy Every little piece Every little piece Trying to prevent a bad destiny; and the key Lies in vigilance, won't stop even once Every flake of dust will be observed I have no idea what we deserved Spying on everypony in town Going about their life A first sign tells me what's going down Watch the screens go all grey-ish brown Watch the screens go all grey-ish brown Every little piece, every little crease I only have til Tuesday To watch it all, not botch it all Pinkie still agrees It makes sense to me I'll see it all, hear it all Feel it all, smell it all Can't you see it's logically sound? To spy on everything that's all around! Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday! Spy Watch I've the nerve to observe Peep Pry I'm spying Look See Do Vigilance For a chance Marks Glare Out there lies trouble Deep Dragon cartilage keeps you thin Dragon fat is for burns A dragon tear will clear up your skin Watch the profits come rolling in Watch the profits come rolling in Spying on everypony in town Going about their life A first sign tells me what's going down Watch the screens go all grey-ish brown Watch the screens go all grey-ish brown Every little piece, every little crease I only have til Tuesday To watch it all, not botch it all Pinkie still agrees It makes sense to me I'll see it all, hear it all Feel it all, smell it all The answer still has not been properly found! That's why I'll monitor all that's around! Author's Note Important: The well runneth dry once again. Throw your suggestions at me, and hopefully it will keep me from going as mad as Twilight was. Thanks guize!
166. Nopony Else Got Flu(Note: Sung to the tune of A Goofy Movie's "Nobody Else But You") Sung by Sweetie Belle Sweetie woke up one morning feeling extremely snuffly and with a bad case of cough. Which was unfortunate, as that day was the day Cheerilee was taking the class out on a school trip. She didn't say where, saying it was a surprise, but Sweetie couldn't help but feel she was missing something awesome. Luckily, it turned out to be a box factory, so she missed nothing at all. But she didn't know that. There are times where I am, shall we say, way hyper Normally I'm fit as fiddles, that is true (But just then...) Still, just when the school trip happens I get sick and feel like nappin'! Nopony else got flu Oh my fever just went up and I'm still coughing And my health just may be, so to speak, askew (Achoo! This stinks!) I can barely get a tune in, I feel faint and could be swoonin', Nopony else got flu! Nopony else got flu It's just my luck, I'm missing out here AB and Scootaloo Are having a great time, and there's no doubt here So I lost my voice, and I'm still lying down prone And my cough mixture tastes like alfalfa too! I'm still coughing and I'm sneezing And I cannot stop my wheezing And the cure's worse than the illness, that is true! I feel light headed and hazy, A headache pounding like crazy! It stinks nopony else, but... Nopony else got flu I've turned into, a virus carrier Hard luck, I've had a few Got the short straw today Falling ill at this time Must find someone to blame For this unhealthy crime Since nopony else got F - L - U! Author's Note As requested by Sparkfire.
168. A Clawful Of Booty(Note: Sung to the tune of Mary Poppins's "A Spoonful Of Sugar") Sung by Twilight Sparkle If ever you catch anypony not giving Spike anything extravagant on special occasions, they will swear it's not because they're being stingy. No, it's because too much swag encourages a dragon's instinct to hoard and turns Spike into a rampaging monster who will take everything and anything within sight. Even the leaves off trees. With everything he thinks he needs There is an element of greed He finds your stuff and snap! "SPIKE WANT!" it is... And ev'ry 'give' you spare the rest He 'takes' with huge interest The hay! Dear me! It's very clear to see that... A clawful of booty makes the dragon stomp 'round town The dragon stomp 'round tow-own The dragon stomp 'round town Just a clawful of booty makes the dragon stomp 'round town In a mostly frightful way! A robin feathering his nest Has very little time to rest His home got nicked, so he must start again Spike's quite intent in his pursuit He wants everypony's loot Hide all your wares! Don't pause to stop and stare! Oh, a clawful of booty makes the dragon stomp 'round town The dragon stomp 'round tow-own The dragon stomp 'round town Just a clawful of booty makes the dragon stomp 'round town In a mostly frightful way! And then down at Sweet Apple Acres From the apple trees that grow The apples are gone, and strangely, so's the leaves Because poor Spike can't help himself From every box and shelf He finds (he finds), He takes (he takes) We made a big mistake... Oh, a clawful of booty makes the dragon stomp 'round town The dragon stomp 'round tow-own The dragon stomp 'round town Just a clawful of booty makes the dragon stomp 'round town In a mostly frightful way!
169. Shut Up And Die(Note: Sung to the tune of Wreck-It Ralph's "Shut Up And Drive") Sung by you...um...if that's alright with you... All that three quarters of the brony fandom want the Royal Guard Flash Sentry to do is jump on a rake and go away. Which isn't fair, considering he probably had no influence over any parallel selves he may have. Not that it detracts from how hilarious it would be to torment him. I've been looking for a target who is qualified And so we think things would be great if only he died I've an OC Twilight could be datin' instead So for our shipfic he ought to be dead So if you feel it, let me know, know, know Come on now, what you waiting for, for, for? My fanfic's ready to explode, explode, explode So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go Cos he's just generic and stuff, if you know what I mean He's a one-off character who's barely seen Can you handle the rage? Will he die for your ship? If he will, baby boy, then he'll have a nice trip Straight down seven flights of stairs in 3.5 Sentry, you're loved by none Now shut up and die, die, die Shut up and die, die, die In the world of fanfics almost no-one is straight Why should we stop with Twilight? Cos it's probably too late He looks like he was made from the blandest of parts Cos he's not got personality, he got no heart So if you feel it, let me know, know, know Come on now, what you waiting for, for, for? My fanfic's ready to explode, explode, explode So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go Cos he's just a big plot device, if you know what I mean He's a one-off character, so we're not keen Can you handle the rage? Will he die for your ship? If he will, baby boy, then he'll have a nice trip In a large vat of batter in 3.5 Sentry, you're loved by none Now shut up and die, die, die Shut up and die, die, die I'm just saying it's what I see Bought it, bought it, saw it, on the TV There was Flash Sentry, barring us entry He's getting all chummy, I died inside And cried, cried, cried So if you feel it, let me know, know, know Come on now, what you waiting for, for, for? My fanfic's ready to explode, explode, explode So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go Cos he's just a flat character, if you know what I mean He's the perfect excuse for us all to get mean Can you handle the rage? Will he die for your ship? If he will, baby boy, then he'll have a nice trip Down a sixty-foot deep well in 3.5 Sentry, you're loved by none Now shut up and die, die, die Shut up and die, die, die Shut up and die, die, die Shut up and die, die, die
171. Gonna Blind You(Note: Sung to the tune of Camp Rock's "Gotta Find You") Sung by Twilight Sparkle Always remember to close your eye when you get to the 'stick a cupcake in my eye' bit of a Pinkie Promise. Twilight sometimes forgets that, before being painfully reminded. She wonders if maybe for safety purposes it ought to be revised. Every time I make a Pinkie Promise swear... And go through all the motions as you do, I think it's somewhat hazardous to any mare To poke out their own eye, I swear it's true! I need to remember to stop my hoof Or just close that eye, you goof... Cos the first few steps' easy enough But make sure your hoof holds back Before it blinds you It's gonna blind you I'm still missing all my sight I have but one good eye Pinkie Swears blind you It's gonna blind you Oh yeah, yeah yeah I recall somepony made the promise twice But didn't think to close up either eye And so for the whole day, patches over both eyes She couldn't take them off until that night! She needs to remember to stop my hoof Or just close that eye, that goof... Cos the first few steps' easy enough But make sure your hoof holds back Before it blinds you It's gonna blind you I'm still missing all my sight I have but one good eye Pinkie Swears blind you It's gonna blind you Oh yeah, yeah yeah Been saying "cross my heart and hope to fly" The last bit makes the newbies want to cry As they poke themselves right where it stings That's gotta hurt... you poor old thing Oh! Before it blinds you...Yeah Cos the first few steps' easy enough But make sure your hoof holds back Before it blinds you It's gonna blind you Yeah yeah! I'm still missing all my sight I have but one good eye Pinkie Swears blind you It's gonna blind you Cos the first few steps' easy enough But make sure your hoof holds back Before it blinds you It's gonna blind you I'm still missing all my sight I have but one good eye Pinkie Swears blind you It's gonna blind you Yeah! Yeah! It's gonna blind you... Author's Note As requested by lalamelody2019.
173. I Will Go Failing No More(Note: Sung to the tune of Toy Story's "I Will Go Sailing No More") Sung by Button Mash He just wanted to finally conquer that Celestia-blasted boss. Was that so much to ask? Button Mash couldn't understand what was wrong with what he was doing. It was supposed to be flawless, and yet... I got to the Air-Pony boss, But I always die Tossing tornadoes a lot He's a pain in my flank, no lie! So I try to go get behind him, Still, I hit the floor But I will go failing no more! I shoot as fast as I can, Reaction time's too slow Result's always constant, My lives stripped off row by row If I had that Item Two, I would breeze right through this floor! But I will go failing no more! But no, it can't be true! Got his health whittled down to two, And I feel I should cry, I then got nicked in the side, And I died! Clearly, I will be failing some more... Author's Note ...Yes, references to THAT song was intentional.
175. One Pass(Note: Sung to the tune of Snow White And The Seven Dwarves's "One Song") Sung by Twilight Sparkle When Princess Celestia sent Twilight Sparkle an invitation to the Grand Galloping Gala, she sent two tickets: one ticket each for herself and a VIP. Twilight found it very puzzling. Surely Princess Celestia couldn't have forgotten that she had 5 friends...and Spike. So the question was, who was most deserving to go to the Gala with her? One pass I have but one pass One pass To Canterlot One friend To take to the Gala Whom would I rather Fill up the slot? One pass What had possessed her To send Not seven, but two? One pass My heart keeps singing Of one pass Only for who?
176. Most Discouraging Thing(Note: Sung to the tune of The Sword In The Stone's "Most Befuddling Thing") Sung by Pinkie Pie Pinkie tends to say the most disheartening things at the worst possible time in the worst possible place. That's probably why Twilight actively discourages Pinkie from being a therapist as a career choice. I can't help but feel, right here and now I say most discouraging things When you need a motivating vow I just leave you crying and shaking... Once, Fluttershy was nervous So, what'd I say and do? Crowds must have left her shaking And she sounded like a dude Another time somepony was sad She said she'd destroy all the work she had And I said the wrong thing right there "Just try it, you gutless mare!" It's a most discouraging, most discouraging thing I can't but feel that partially That it might be me being harsh-ly It's a hope-abandoning Most dismembering Most dismantling Most disheartening Most disconcerting Most discouraging Thing!
177. With A Few Good Shots(Note: Sung to the tune of Piglet's Big Movie's "With A Few Good Friends") Sung by Twilight Sparkle With all of the Pinkie clones finally rounded up, all that was left was to see who would have the most sense to hold their attention. In other words, who was the real Pinkie and not a single-minded clone. Twilight readied her horn to zap the clones back to the Mirror Pool, and watched. With a few good shots and a mind so cool, We're sending the clones to the Mirror Pool With a flash and a zap or three or four, Until there's no Pinkie horde anymore That one just dozed off Zap, and you're fried That one pulled a face Charge up, let it fly With a few good shots and a mind so clear, We're sending the clones right on outta here With a flash and a zap or three or four, I'm hitting the ones who are clearly bored Out you go The paint's still wet That a yawn I see? Guess what you get! With a few good shots and a steady eye, I have now made all the clones of Pinkie fry With a flash and a zap or three or four, There's only one left still sitting on the floor
179. A Mare's Bad Dreams(Note: Sung to the tune of Mary Poppins's "A Man Has Dreams") Sung by Princess Luna For as long as she had been Princess of the Night, Luna had visited the dreams of her subjects, interpreting what they saw as visions of a possible future. Before she learnt to be a little more gentle and encouraging in trying to avert the bad ones, Princess Luna tended to be extremely blunt and frank. Which, while effective, was extremely traumatizing for the sleeping ponies. A mare's bad dream of falling from windows To swat a fly from the property she owns Before the mare can catch herself She takes a fall off the shelf And that's what will come to pass The longer she hates insects I scared her straight by showing her her bones Please wash your hooves, otherwise, if you're hurt You touch a bad wound (sorry if you're bereft) And now your limb's high functions go with one fell blow An amputation's all that's left A moment of neglect, that is all it takes To crush your life forever due to one mistake A moment of neglect goes a long, long way 'Part from that, you're golden. Have a lovely day! Please don't photocopy your flank And do not even think 'bout stapling it to your boss's face Your life will end up down the sink You'll crash into obscurity Poverty's near too Because you see, I always know What you would do You're gonna grind, grind, grind At that grindstone If you don't study now while you can Stop bullying those blank-flanks Or you'll contract Bad ebola, karma's the man Just that moment of clarity To 'elp the bitter pill go down The bitter pill go down, the bitter pill go down Author's Note Also, don't write Mary Sues or your writing hand will explode in fire and blood. G'night.
180. Tom Dan, He Is Another Rock 180. Tom Dan, He Is Another Rock (Note: Sung to the tune of The Rescuers's "Tomorrow Is Another Day") Sung by Applejack Rarity thought that they agreed to never speak of 'it' again. Applejack knew she was the only one who promised that. And she had a lot of fun annoying Rarity until it was time for the final showdown with Discord. Tom the rock Ya hauled a giant boulder Right over yer own shouder Tom the rock Sing a song When ya thought it was a diamond Ya hoarded like a tyrant Sing a song Is it wrong To like it like a comet To put a ring right on it? Is it wrong? To be conned To think Tom Dan was so precious That he's too valuable to mentions Is to be conned We'll catch the grey mare With Twilight's flyin' balloon And we'll clear the cloudy skies The same way Tom deceived your eyes Betcha bits Just admit Ya wouldn't let it wander And Ah was like "Why dont'cha MARRY it?" He's a rock 'Cause he's no diamond, really Now that y'all can see clearly He's a rock Tom Dan, he is another rock Diamonds? What a load o' crock!
181. Tastes Like Feet(Note: Sung to the tune of Brother Bear 2's "Feels Like Home") Sung by Spike Baked Bads have a rather unique taste. It is therefore rather difficult to explain, but Spike was certainly going to give it a try. Learning how to judge again What baked bads are like Knowing I can taste the things Goin' in the mouth of Spike I sense a hint of worms inside Corn chips, kinda dried And what I didn't know I want in life Like powdered grit and weeds So many things I've been eating Not sure but It's not entirely bad Now I realize Please don't ask where I learnt The taste of juice that's burnt Or soda eight years old Now I realize Gangrene and stomach gas Spoiled food and wilted grass With a twist of spoiled food and dirty laundry And this tastes like feet Feet, feet Tastes just like feet Tastes just like feet The aftertaste, like despair calling With nihilistic loathing falling (I remember standing downwind of an art snob) Of an art snob Now I realize Tastes just like feet Tastes just like feet It tastes just like feet Tastes just like feet Tastes like feet Now I realize Please don't ask where I learnt The taste of juice that's burnt Or soda eight years old Now I realize Gangrene and stomach gas Spoiled food and wilted grass With a twist of spoiled food and dirty laundry And this tastes like feet This tastes like feet Feet, feet Tastes just like feet Tastes just like feet
182. The Three S's(Note: Sung to the tune of Schoolhouse Rock! Earth's "The Three R's") Sung by Gilda Contrary to what you may think, Gilda the griffin does not actually discriminate against ponies. She hates them, yes, but only because she seems to hate everyone. It's just that she hates them more. I, I, I hate you lame-os I, I, I hate you lame-os I, I, I hate you lame-o ponies I cannot take your dullness No, I can't You're a bunch of losers Because two times six is twelve Twelve add seven is nineteen And the nineteenth letter in the alphabet is S I got three S's I'm gonna talk about today You gotta learn to Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That I was going to the market on edge of town Bumped into Nervous Wreck Yellow Crybaby Face You gotta learn to sit down Are all of you dweebs just that sensitive? Minding everyone in sight, that just ain't no way to live Shut up You gotta learn to shut up If the two S's don't work out Stop featherin' crying your eyes out Just stop that You gotta learn to just stop that! You gotta learn to Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Cause I! cannot stomach babies Oh no I can't! I hate you lame-o ponies! See! See! 3,6,9,12,18,21,24,27,30,33,36, 33,30,27,24,21,18,12,9,6,3! Break a leg. I mean it Go for it Break a leg. I mean it Gotta learn Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That Sit Down, Shut Up, and Stop That I hate you lame-o ponies
185. Very Questionable Advice(Note: Sung to the tune of Alice In Wonderland's "Very Good Advice") Sung by Diamond Tiara At the last Summer Wrap Up Festival, Diamond Tiara ran an advice booth. For a few bits, she offered advice on everything, from relationships, to money, to everything in between. The brilliance of the whole scheme was that no matter the result, they still paid, so they advice didn't even have to be good. Or at least, that was what the more cynical would believe. The truth was simpler. And also more embarrassing. She didn't realize it was bad. I give you all very good advice So for some bits I say what I mean Always type in Comic Sans for everything Impatience, is very good advice Just never accept criticism Don't make any change Should someone say you stink Well, babies ALWAYS save relationships YOU SHOULD ALWAYS TYPE IN CAPITALS IT GETS POINTS ACROSS LIKE NO OTHER WAY Someday...someday I give you all very good advice So for some bits I say what I mean Will you ever learn to do the things you should? Will you ever learn to do the things you should? Author's Note ...I would have used the Fluttershy meme but she'd probably never do that so here we are.
186. Your Funny Hat And Me(Note: Sung to the tune of The Emperor's New Groove's "My Funny Friend And Me") Sung by Twilight Sparkle Applejack grumbled. Making their way through life in the alternate Equestria was already hard enough. And then THIS happened; the seven of them were thrown in a dungeon. "Ya just had to make fun of their helmets, didn't ya? They were probably gonna just give us a slap on the hoof until ya mentioned the helmets." "What?" protested Twilight. "I was making an observation! It is a funny hat!" In the darkest hour of reckoning When the guards assume positions And this world's Sombra gives orders To the Royal Inquisition To the guards who wear the strangest things there Helmets that look like Sombra King Though they were kind to me, yet they reminded me That they looked absurdly comic And in hindsight it was stupid And when a new world needs protecting Though its residents are putrid I insulted a guard there And the whole world I know was upside down And now the guards are hacked Right off, they're coming back You see the helmets on their big heads If looks could kill then I would be quite dead Observe the helmets on their big heads I was just being honest with what I said There's less tacky things to wear instead What a predicament in which to be! But that unusual thing called your funny hat and me! I'm not as civil as I thought I was And I think I regret what I said because We wound up in a dungeon We wound up in the clink And it is all because I told a guard exactly what I think And Applejack's not pleased with me We could have all been let go with just slaps to the knee And we could've made it through Curse your funny hat and me! You see the helmets on their big heads, yeah, yeah, yeah If looks could kill then I would be quite dead That stupid helmet as a stallion's cap I don't know whether if it's all a trap Just like the helmets on their big heads, I look quite foolish We're all imprisoned 'till the end this time, (don't know, you don't know) I wish I had just stayed at home in bed, (we'll stick together) We're all imprisoned 'till the day we die If I had to do this all a second time I won't complain or make a fuss 'Bout what? You know that! I won't mention in chat 'Bout those strange funny hats Not us! Author's Note Based on the comics
187. Good Comedy(Note: Sung to the tune of Oliver And Company's "Good Company") Sung by Pinkie Pie How do you stop two small foals from crying when you're babysitting? Well, Pinkie tried a few things, one of which was a comedy act. "Hey, you're a wonderful crowd here tonight! Where y'all from?" asked Pinkie, putting a mike to them. They didn't answer, but Pinkie carried on anyway. "Wow, that's great." My tree died, got 'nother like it, see Now I got TWO dead trees I'm trying to make good comedy, You from me Yes, the cold-air balloon Didn't take off that soon... To you two from me I'm trying to make good comedy, You and me Yes, tonight the show's free! Start the day with a smile, I say Get it over with, see! I'm trying to make good comedy, You and me Just wait and see There was a short pause, and then Pumpkin and Pound burst into tears again. "Wow. Tough crowd," Pinkie remarked. Author's Note Sir Alexander Graham Ben got the first wrong telephone call.
189. Exploit It(Note: Sung to the tune of In Search Of The Castaways's "Enjoy It") Sung by Sunset Shimmer The world of humans was admittedly rather disconcerting to Sunset Shimmer when she first escaped from Equestria, but she wasn't Princess Celestia's ex-student for nothing. All she had to do was liken Canterlot High to a slightly better funded prison, adapt accordingly, and she had it made. Until that Twilight Sparkle came along, anyway. Why cry about dumb teachers? Exploit it! Take note of handy features, exploit it! I'm a student here at Canterlot High, playing the fools Don't let a chance go trot by, here at high school The student council's lazy? Exploit it! My craftiness is crazy, employ it! I climb the social hierarchy, Start my reign in one two three, Voila, that’s life, exploit it! I get passes out of gym class, I’ll exploit it! I start fights in the library, I enjoy it! Jocks v Nerds, on their turf? Enjoy the brawl! The adults and the freshmen? Exploit them all! There’s a photo editor, exploit it! And the school head just hit her, enjoy it! Coming up is the school formal, Why I will just dwarf 'em all! Voila, that’s right, exploit it! Pass the buck to timid freshmen? Exploit it! Do you know some stupid yes-men? Exploit it! I'm a student here at Canterlot High, playing the fools Don't let a chance go trot by, here at high school A fire alarm is nearby? Exploit it! There's too much noise to hear by, exploit it! Oh yes the school is one big game, Work with dorks and dunces lame, Voila, that’s life, exploit it! Author's Note As requested by deathtap.
190. Grumps(Note: Sung to the tune of Sleeping Beauty's "Skumps") Sung by Pinkie Pie Funny how Pinkie seems to be attracted to individuals who's personality couldn't be any more different than hers. Or maybe they're attracted to her... Pinkie remembers two of the grouchiest individuals she's met, and her opinion of them when all was said and done. Grumps! Grumps! Grumps! Like Cranky Don-kay! He's bald and was grouchy, But at end of the day, Once he found his girlfriend, he turned out okay! Grumps! Grumps! Grumps! Grumps! Grumps! Like Gilda griffon! There is no soft centre, Only hate by the ton! Meanie among meanies, that half-bird is no fun! Grumps! Grumps! Grumps!
192. How To Be A Brony (Guest Submission by Sky Blue CMC)(Note: Sung to the tune of The Tigger Movie's "How To Be A Tigger") Sung by you...um...if that's alright with you... How to be a Brony How to be a Brony How to be a Brony is up to you Ah, you've got to look like a Brony And sound like a Brony? And act like a Brony too If we paint pink stripes on our underwear And glue on horse ears too We're bound to appear far more as Bronies do (Unquestionably) Maybe we could all say "Spike the Dragon" And shout "Hoo-hoo-hoo-hooooo!" We all might sound a lot more Bronyish too Ha-ha, ya think? And that is how to be a Brony How to be a Brony How to be a Brony is up to you You've got to look like a Brony And sound like a Brony And act like a Brony too If we break things up and knock things down And leave the place a mess That's the thing that Bronies do the best (I ought to know) And if I don't eat honey From the honey pot Ol' Bronies will plainly see I must be another Brony because I couldn't possibly be me And that is how to be a Brony How to be a Brony How to be a Brony is up to you You've go to look like a Brony And sound like a Brony And act like a Brony, um, also Um, if we could all be happy Full of friendliness and cheer He'll surely see we are his family! Ah, we're filled with joy and laughter And the happiness he starts And feel it from the bottom of our hearts And that is how to be a Brony How to be a Brony How to be a Brony is up to you You've got to think like a Brony Wearing pink like a Brony With a happy hoo-hoo-hoo How to be a Brony How to be a Brony How to be a Brony is up to you You've gotta think like a Brony Wearing pink like a Brony With a happy hoo-hoo-hoo-hooooo Author's Note I'm more partial to a fetching shade of grey, myself.
194. Falling Off Ya(Note: Sung to the tune of Teen Beach Movie's "Falling For Ya") Sung by Spike "Cutie Pox," Twilight read aloud from Perplexing Pony Plagues, over the sounds of Applebloom's uncontrollable tap-dancing. "This puzzling pony plague afflicted a population of ponies back in the paleopony period!" "Say THAT ten times fast!" Spike smiled. Un-amused, Twilight kicked Spike off her back and continued to read. The day started ordinary Me and the books (Oohh Oohh) It was the same old story But then outside I looks (Oohh Oohh) I'm not the type To grouch and to gripe 'Bout somepony's ills (It takes extra skill) I just laugh instead At the other's expense (Take a cheap shot at that text) And now I'm falling off ya Falling off ya I know I shouldn't but I I just can't stop myself from Making remarks Falling off ya I still think it was worth it And now I'm falling off you Now I'm lying dizzy Crashed into a shelf (That hurt) Started off so busy Now I hurt myself (Oohh Oohh) Twi's not the kind To goof 'round and find My words ring of truth (When trouble's ahoof) And although my head Feels like two tons of lead (I regret nothing, I said) And now I'm falling off ya Falling off ya I know I shouldn't but I I just can't stop myself from Making remarks Making remarks Can't button my big mouth shut And now I'm falling off you Feels like I tumbled From another world Into that wall But it's true, you know I know you'll stumble But I know for sure Can't say that fast Too many p's to unfurl (Aaaaaaaahhh) And now I'm falling off ya Falling off ya I know I shouldn't but I I just can't stop myself from Making remarks Making remarks Can't button my big mouth shut And now I'm falling off you
195. The Gift Of Bruises So Long(Note: Sung to the tune of Sleeping Beauty's "The Gift Of Beauty And Song") Sung by Mr. Cake Mr Cake could read all of the parenting books that he wanted, but none of them ever taught him how to deal with a screaming wife, threatening to get off the hospital bed and strangle him. The worst part was that since it was twins, it would be twice as painful for all involved. One punch, pain received, Having a foal's hard indeed, Pinkie's just learnt four new words, Longest stream of swears that I've ever heard! One kick, she's on the assault Screaming how it's all my fault! I think I'll just get out her way... Or else I'll be nursing bruises all day!
197. Blah Blah BlahNote: Sung to the tune of Lady And The Tramp's "La La Lu" Sung by Twilight Sparkle and Trixie "Look!" Lyra cried, pointing her hoof at Twilight. "I think something exciting is happening!" Blah blah blah, magic blah! Oh, yap yap something something I'll make it clearer to you Blah blah blah, amulet blah. Mumble mumble yap something Here comes my revenge on you Blah blah blah, no mouth blah? Mumble mumble no deal Loser leaves town and stays out!? Blah blah blah, time to duel blah!!!! And may the strongest win this! Blah blah blah, Blah blah blah, Blah blah blah! "Oops, my mistake." Lyra remarked, and turned back to her smoothie. Author's Note As requested by deathtap. Guess what ELSE I've been watching recently? Smoothie Lyra still don't care.
199. Almost There (Until The 200th Chapter)(Note: Sung to the tune of The Princess And The Frog's "Almost There") Sung by Brony_of_Brody Sweet Celestia, has it really been 199 chapters? Readers! I don't have time for writing! That's just gonna have to wait a while Ain't got time for messing around Gotta climb some stiles This old crock has writer's block And I'm taking it easy 'kay? I dunno exactly when I'll be back But I WILL return somehow, someday But I'm almost there, I'm almost there Rarity, AJ, Twi, Pinkie, and other mares The two-hundredth chapter, I'll write my share Even real obligations won't stop me cause I'm almost there I remember something told me: "Parodies are funny You gotta write 'em somehow, make 'em light and sunny" So I worked real hard each and every night Even though a few were kinda sh- alright Just doing what I do Fimfiction, I'm coming through! Well, I'm almost there, I'm almost there Not on Equestria Daily anywhere But I'm almost there, I'm almost there I just need a decent song list, Til I restart, it's fair But I've worn the keyboard, I've checked the comments, And I'm almost there, I'm almost there, I'm almost there! Author's Note As requested by Le_DragonBroneE. I'm going to be frank: next chapter will be the 200th. After that, I will be putting this fanfic on hiatus until more information regarding Season 5 and the Rainbow Rocks movie comes out. Or until I can get back into the swing of things and actually have a decent list of songs to use, whichever is sooner. There's also the fact that life at the moment isn't affording too many breaks for me, and so I would like to get those out the way before I start again. However, I HAVE songs I know that I can use (and have tentative titles for), so I certainly don't plan on letting this die without a decent wrap-up. I just need time to get new ideas together, that's all. So Season 5 needs to hurry up like seriously. So thanks a bunch for all those who stopped by to thumb me up, fave or comment, you guys are ace.
200. The 200th Chapter Wrap-Up...(until life's calmed down a little)Hello, and welcome to the 200th Chapter! So ShadowLDrago suggested I use this chapter to write about my top 10 Villain Song parodies to celebrate this milestone. I guess I could do that. I'm joined today by Time Turner, as co-host for the event. And before you ask, no, I didn't ponynap him. "What ACTUALLY happened was that I was hacked off about not even getting ONE song about me in 200 chapters and so I decided to do something about it!" And I explained to him that plenty of others like Colgate and Cloud Kicker didn't get one either, but he wouldn't listen...so he crashed into my attic in some blue box out of spite. "It wasn't SPITE," Time Turner scoffed. "It was a calculated act of revenge. Spite implies that I was the one at fault first." ...Right. But regardless, I will soldier on. Let's start the countdown, shall we? And so, my top ten songs sung about a villain or by a villain ARE... 10. Chapter 46: Don't Like Me I wrote this one after someone suggested Friend Like Me. It was actually meant to be about Princess Celestia at first, but if the other songs are anything to go by, you should know I don't touch similar situations with a 100 foot pole. And so after spending about 10 minutes thinking of a rhyme for friend, I said "forget this" and decided to write about somepony nopony seemed to like very much. "Me?" Time Turner asked. "You haven't written about me, ever!" No, of course n...I meant in their own universe. "...Oh." I think it fitted quite well, myself. I wrote another Aladdin song about Blueblood before and felt this was a fitting prequel. 9. Chapter 14: We Multiply I didn't intend to do this one. I mean, how many rhymes for lullaby ARE there? "I actually know several million civilizations whose languages have an EXACT rhyme!" Time Turner piped up. Stop competing, I don't KNOW several million civilizations. "Homework for you, then." Shut up. But regardless, I'm proud of how this turned out. I felt the rhymes were pretty natural, and I was actually (for once) able to adhere to someone's submitted scenario. I think I've only ever done that like twice...? "Because you only spend like half an hour at most on every song!" Time Turner pointed out. I don't have all the time in the world, unlike you, smart-flank! 8. Chapter 64: Button In keeping with tradition, I made this song about mocking somepony. I thought about simply leaving it until I could find somepony to sarcastically praise, but I didn't think it would be funny enough. It was hard at first, since I couldn't think of anypony in canon who achieved the status of universal chew-toy. "So you took somepony who only ever got expanded on in a fan-animation and ran with it." It seemed acceptable; that's his most popular portrayal and so it was fine. "Speaking of universal chew-toys," Time Turner mused, "I once came across a being who was literally chewing ON the universe itself. It was terrible. My best suit ruined." How? "Don't ever ask how, it spoils things. Like a magician's trick." 7. Chapter 72: Ol' Ms Harshwhinny Not one of my faves myself, but it was very popular with commentors. It seems despite the awkward sounds it was well-liked and apparently funny, so at least there's that. "I heard you were going to set it in one of the human worlds since she's a teacher at a school called MRS Harshwhinny," Time Turner remarked, scratching his chin with his hoof. I did, yes, but I didn't know enough about that version and it seemed like too much work just to make it sound better. At least I used a title someone suggested when making the request so I can't be blamed. 6. Chapter 31: The Brony King In Media I swear to Celestia the original song was ABOUT a villain. I don't think Sethisto or Equestria Daily in general are villains. "Outwardly, perhaps. You didn't get featured." Unfortunately not. This one brings back memories though; it was the first song I wrote that was intended to be sung by the reader and the reader alone. I had fun writing it; I do enjoy tributes. Like the Crackle one that would come many chapters later. "You wrote a song about a one-off character but not about me." Because you're not enough of a...dark horse. ...Time Turner just punched me. 5. Chapter 109: Yes, My Plot Is "A TV show song?" Time Turner asked. Not just a TV song; a TV song with a word so unrhyme-able that I was intending to just leave the stupid thing. BUT THEN, by a stroke of inspiration, I realized all I had to do was pull a Chapter 17 and turn the word into a phrase. "Really?" Time Turner said incredulously. "You couldn't think of a subject other than somepony's butt?" I still don't regret anything. I said it in the notes and it still holds true. "Pervert." Shut up. I enjoy this one because of the sense of achievement in fulfilling a really difficult request. And also because the one who requested it pitched so many ideas to me to get me this far. "Did the repeat requests not bother you?" Time Turner asked. Not really, a comment's a comment. "You are so lonely." Hello pot, I'm kettle. Have we met? 4. Chapter 165: (Monitor) Every Little Piece I cheated slightly on this one. I inserted a word into the title just to get a completely different scenario to the original. Come to think of it, I may do it more often. "You just DID. Last chapter. Literally," Time Turner pointed out. Because it was appropriate? But anyway, I rank this where it is because I like to write about ponies doing really dumb things. Or say something off-hoof that everypony picks up on. And I thought it turned out okay. "You could have made it about me, you know," Time Turned scowled. "I monitor what's going on too!" No-one ever sees you, though. "But you KNOW..." Not in established canon! The best we have is your trading card! And it would be more about your other appearances in that other show anyway. "Has that ever stopped you?" When no-one writes about you as anything other than a guy from another planet? Yes! Seriously, make normal Time Turner a trend, folks! 3. Chapter 81: Mishap Off Sandy Shores This was another "how am I gonna make a rhyming parody" request. "You responded to it admirably though, admittedly," Time Turner remarked. "By next chapter, you had it." Well, it was just lucky that 'sandy' correlates with an event I know. It was sort of like the Circle of Life parody in that I spent time looking for something that rhymed with 'kidnap' before realizing what the obvious solution was. I liked this one, largely because it was canon, which I prefer to write about (or at least canon enough), but also because narration stories are some of my favorites to do. Also, because pirates. "Heck yeah pirates," Time Turner nodded. 2. Chapter 188: Whine, Whine, Whine This one was a case of having the title, but not wanting to submit it. This was because four score and twenty chapters ago... "It was one hundred and seventy chapters ago, actually," Time Turner sighed. FOUR SCORE AND TWENTY CHAPTERS AGO, I wrote about a similar situation. I really only wrote this one out of sheer lack of other ideas at the time. "Well, it was TECHNICALLY different," Time Turner remarked. "One about the events in the present, and one about the aftermath." Yeah, that was sort of a consolation. But even so, I did have a ton of fun writing it, because imagining Rarity screech-singing would be funny, and also because the title made so. Much. Sense. It fitted so neatly I couldn't ignore it anymore and started typing. And the number one villain song parody is... 1. Chapter 84: Lie On Lie This, for me, was what took the top spot. I was told it was cleverly written, I was able to write about somepony I had never used before (who had technically been turned into a villain), and I had a lot of fun going nuts about writing several outlandish things to tell people. "You stole a lot of them, didn't you?" Time Turner accused, pointing a hoof at me. Because the guy who wrote them was a genius and I was stuck for anything funnier, okay? "Can I point out that one of them was not actually a lie?" the brown Earth Pony asked. What wasn't? "I HAVE started a fire by rubbing the heads of two red-maned ponies together once." WHAT. "You would be surprised at the friction necessary to start the fire," Time Turner nodded. "It's how I managed to distract The Smooze long enough to escape." I don't even...how did you do that? "Oh, I just used my magic to speed my movements up," he replied off-hoofedly. "Don't try it yourself though, it hurts. For all parties involved." I can imagine. - Well, that's that. All that remains is for me to thank my loyal readers... "And promise to write a song about me someday!" Time Turner loudly reminded me. ...Possibly, and to wrap this up with one final song before I start to remove Time Turner's blue box from my roof.. Aaaaaaaaaaand as a special treat for the peoples who stuck with me and actually read and commented, I present...the song that started it all (and was requested so often by readers), cleaned up by me. (So I can't be credited for writing the ENTIRE parody) So here. You deserve it. Angel Bunny's Hellfire (Note: Sung to the tune of The Hunchback Of Notre Dame's "Hellfire") Interpretive Dance by Angel Bunny Princess Celestia, you know I am a cuddly guy Of my fuzziness I'm justly proud Princess Celestia, I'm huggable and you know why I'm cuter than the tortoise and the owl! Then tell me, Celestia, why she won't make my food nice, Why my special salad's but a dream! I feel it, I see it, the cherry and the orange slice, The watercress and toppings of whipped cream! Like FIRE! Hellfire! This fire in my skin! This burning desire is turning me to sin! It's not my fault I'm not to blame It is the pegasus who makes my food so lame! It's not my fault If in your plan You feed me cauliflower, broccoli and flaaaaaaaan! Protect me, Celestia, from eating all that junk as well, Don't let that garbage sear my flesh and bone! Destroy her, Celestia, and let her taste the fires of hell, Unless she makes this salad like I've shown! Hellfire, dark fire! Now pegasus, it's your turn! It's down to the wire...make it or you will burn! Celestia have mercy on her... Celestia have mercy on me... But I'll have my lunch or she Will BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN! Author's Note ...Whew. Well that's that. However, it isn't QUITE the end. I won't be updating this anymore, but I WILL continue to write for the upcoming sequel (yeah, it has to be, scrolling through two-hundred's a pain in the flank). I'll take it off the ground when life stops being evil and I have enough songs to maintain one every day as usual. I'll post the link when I have it up. So again, thanks to all of you who let me know what you thought even if it was a thumbs down! And see you at the sequel!
We Have A Very Important Message(Note: Sung to the tune of Muppets Most Wanted's "We're Doing A Sequel") NO NO THAT'S WAY TOO OBVIOUS Ahem. Sequel's up.
96. The Lack of Rhythm(Note: Sung to the tune of The Jungle Book 2's "The Jungle Rhythm") Sung by Spike Twilight Sparkle cannot dance. Spike has known this for a while, and he has made every attempt to try and hide it. Unfortunately, Twilight’s extreme lack of musical sense has since made manifest at one of the many parties Rarity has attended (it was a high-brow event, to add onto the embarrassment), at the Royal Wedding, in another world’s dance event… So Twilight Sparkle has next to no dance skills And you may want to avert your eyes When you see (see what?) See the lack of rhythm Those hooves are tap-tap-tappin' the dance floor Her moves cause all who watch to cry Plain as day It’s the lack of rhythm Now she’s like an elephant out in the jungle But it never hits her heart First she feels that beat start Bubbling under Then both her two left legs Start to blunder (It’s shaming me!) Or she’s wooden as a tree When she dances Watch the lack of rhythm Watch the lack of rhythm (Come on, Twilight!) Can't do without rhythm And when it fills the air Noblefolk everywhere Would rather leave I’ll come along with 'em I can’t watch anymore She'll stomp her hooves! Out of synch! Stick to writing, I should think! Oh boy…! That’s not it! Uh ha, uh ha! Check out those chat-chat-chattering ponies Quietly making themselves scarce They can’t take (they can’t take) All the lack of rhythm Looks like a pony spasming wildly Silence all those harmonies I can’t take (I can’t take) All the lack of rhythm Yeah! That's it! Now she’s like an elephant out in the jungle But it never hits her heart First she feels that beat start Bubbling under Then both her two left legs Start to blunder (It’s shaming me!) Or she’s wooden as a tree When I feel (When I feel) When she dances (When she dances) (When she dances) (When she dances) Watch the lack of rhythmmmm (x5) Author's Note Four...
73. Whatever The Box May Be(Note: Sung to the tune of Home On The Range's "Wherever The Trail May Lead") Sung by Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie When Twilight and her friends returned the Elements of Harmony back to their resting place, the Tree of Harmony, it then offered up a box, with six keyholes, and yet no keys whatsoever. Speculation was rife as to what was inside, particularly amongst Twilight and Pinkie. Twilight thought it had something to do with their upcoming destiny. Pinkie thought once it was open, it would be a great box for presents. From the tree, a small locked chest Six keys used to pass this test, Who knows where they are? But what I just want to know is, What it’s got inside to show is Needing to be on par. Maybe there’s candy inside, A pony called Jack, or three? But I promise you, I'll solve this too, Whatever the box may be. It may house some ancient magic, Or it seals up something tragic Locked inside the cube... Or it might have pirate treasure, Gold and gems, or for good measure, A rolled up cardboard tube! Is it connected to my fate, My royal princess duty? I’d laugh if it’s just A red herring, a bust, Whatever the box may be. Caught both our attentions We’d have to wait and see, Whatever that box is trying to hide. Or it’s all like Box-ception, With total irony, A box in a box in a box inside... Or perhaps it’s totally empty, The space inside vast and free. What could it contain? Sweet riches or pain? Or nothing to offer me... I dunno, who cares? We’ll know once we’re there! Whatever the box may be. Author's Note As requested by Seanchow806Napoleonic. Also, I've hit another wall. Throw titles at me. I can take them. *Gets hit by a brick instead*
75. When You Squish My Ice-Cream Bar(Note: Sung to the tune of Pinocchio's "When You Wish Upon A Star") Sung by Pinkie Pie Pinkie Pie was walking away from Pony Joe's, holding an ice-cream bar in her hoof, when, just as she was heading back to the station to get back to Ponyville, one of those "Canterlot Snobs" as Rainbow Dash put it, knocked into Pinkie, made her drop her ice-cream bar, and stomped on it, not even apologising to Pinkie as he was hurrying off. It. Was. ON. When you squish my ice-cream bar Makes no difference who you are A big world of massive pain Will come to you Watch me plot and watch me scheme No revenge is too extreme When you squish my ice-cream bar Your life is through Fate ain’t kind You’re now at war with me Snobby-flank Vs. Pinkie I will get even Like a bolt out of the blue I’ll hunt you down and find you When you squish my ice-cream bar I am your doom Author's Note If I had a wish, I'd want more people to know that this exists so they can throw tiles at me... Or a Rainbow Dash solo song not made by the writers of MLP.
77. A Pie Like You(Note: Sung to the tune of The Hunchback Of Notre Dame's "A Guy Like You") Sung by Soarin' Pies are the best foodstuffs ever invented by mortal hooves, or so Soarin' member of the Wonderbolts, believes. It's a good thing his job works off all those calories, or Soarin' would be in trouble. Especially since even an ordinary Pegasus needs to watch their weight to even fly. Cloudsdale, the city of flyers is hopping this evening As I sit here with my pastry crust...I feel the "l'amour" Somewhere out there in the sky I'm not in for something fried And I know this lunchtime I Am hungry for A pie like you I've never known, pal A pie like you...yes, I know I eat them every day You've got a crust That's all your own, pal Could there be two like you? No way! Those other pies That I could chow down All bring a certain pleasure in my view It's a surprise From this here cloud town You bring flavour! I will savour a pie like you A pie like you Gets extra credit Because it's true, your filling's sweet and savoury too (It's Berry Bite) You bite the crust You don't forget it Despite this, still this filling's new! I have tried cake But no, it falls short Because I crave a meal more nourishing to chew This task I take Eat pies of all sorts No question of, I know I love a pie like you! Call it a pastry addiction Celestia, I feel it I want this pie, any moment I'll leave crumbs on the floor For A pie so swell A pie like you With all your wonder I crave your taste, so I won't waste a sec or two! Your flaky crust just Tears me asunder! When I want nourishment Don't need encouragement I have discovered, guy You're one heck of a pie Who wouldn't love a pie like you? You got a lot a cake has not So I've gotta love a pie like... ...you! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. Pie is better than cake.
1. When I See Tons of Pinkie Pies(Note: Sung to the tune of Dumbo's "When I See an Elephant Fly") Sung by Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, and Twilight Sparkle Twilight, Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash were talking about how Pinkie's schedule needed to be freed up; after all, not even she can appear in two places at the same time. Little did they realize she had recently paid a visit to the Mirror Pool... I saw a frozen land, Heard Octavia’s band, And seen Discord pull out his eye But I be done seen about everything When I see tons of Pinkie Pies When I see tons of Pinkie Pies I've seen them Parasprite things, Heard the CMCs sing I've seen King Sombra explode in the sky But I be done seen about everything When I see tons of Pinkie Pies I saw Big Macintosh give out his back And they tell me that love bent Chrysalis out of whack I didn't see that, I only heard Just to be sociable, well, I'll take your word I heard Rainbow saved a life, I saw someone toss their wife And I just laughed till I thought I'd die But I be done seen about everything When I see tons of Pinkie Pies But I be done seen about everything When I see tons of Pinkie Pies When I see tons of Pinkie Pies
2. Be all Dressed(Note: Sung to the tune of Beauty and the Beast's "Be Our Guest") Sung by Rarity and Rainbow Dash Rarity was in quite the state, having to design dresses for all her friends in time for the Equestria Games... Be all dressed! Be all dressed! Oh dear me, what a test Get those sequined horseshoes on there, and take care of the rest What a to-do, dressing you Why, it's such a hullabaloo Don't touch that, it's for the Gala It'll stop itching sometime after No, Applejack, that WON'T do I just can't "skip" a vital clue If you want the quality here at its best Now then Pinkie Pie You've GOT to get yourself dry! To be all dressed, Oui, all dressed Be all dressed! A sorry sight! And THAT'S not right Rainbow Dash, put down those tights Before I beat you with this seat (Something I will savour as a treat) Fluttershy, you alright? Just tell me if it's too tight And Applejack, stop that complaining Only MY whining's entertaining! No I CAN'T add that in! Red AND Purple! What a sin! You want a star map on on your outfit by request? Well, then Twilight, dear I'll see what I can do here To be all dressed. If you're stressed What constellations do YOU suggest? Be all dressed! Be all dressed! Be all dressed! Pinkie Pie, there you are! You rid yourself of all that tar! I didn't want your dirt to get over my wares Rainbow Dash, make yourself useful, I think I left the twist right by the stairs.... Twilight, I fear and dread I can't fit all NINE HUNDRED Constellations on, there's only so much room... Fluttershy, you look quite blue in the face Rainbow! Stop being lazy! NO DON'T DROP THAT! Oops-a-daisy! Getting dressed! Getting dressed! Feather's sake, I'm totally stressed! Don't think my wings fit in these things And I don't think I'm that impressed Listen up, here's your twine See, no scuffs! It's totally fine! Wait, it's "twist". That what it's called? Don't look at me like I'll get mauled! I'll just get out your hair I'll leave you to your work there... Can't I model later? I'm getting sorta pressed... What have I got to do? There's just no pleasing you! Getting dressed! Getting dressed! Getting dressed! Be all dressed Be all dressed I'm trying to make polite requests No no, Pinkie, cotton candy frills are out (She's like, possessed!) Fluttershy, if you please Let me set your mind at ease You look absolutely glowing You look perfect! Just keep going! Right, now then! One by one I declare, "Enough! I'm done!" I think tomorrow I shall polish off the rest... The Equestria Games Puts on me lots of strain Being all dressed! Being all dressed! Yes, just being all dressed!
3. Poor Unfortunate Scrolls(Note: Sung to the tune of The Little Mermaid's "Poor Unfortunate Souls") Sung by Twilight Sparkle Before Twilight Sparkle became a princess, she was Princess Celestia's protege in magic. Of course, as her student, it involved sending regular reports listing her most recent findings, using Spike's unique fire breath to send the scrolls to the Princess. Of course, when Spike wasn't concentrating, the exact destination of the scrolls tend to be...erratic. I admit that in the past I've been pedantic I'm not kidding when there shouldn't be a hitch But you'll find that nowadays I've found out all sorts of ways And in terms of my knowledge I'm rather rich (In Magic) But when Spike come down with bad indigestion He goes and burps like a dragon all possessed And dear friend, please don't laugh Though it is rather daft When the scrolls are misdirected in the mess Poor unfortunate scrolls Where do they go? My report has gone astray It has vanished in the aether Who will help me? Oh no... Those poor unfortunate scrolls So sad, so true Thesis sent across Equestria It may wind up in the sea What to do now?! Got the blues... Now it's happened once or twice Once it wound up in some ice And I'm afraid I had to keep Spike off the coals... Yes I've had the odd complaint But it's not like I try being late! With those poor unfortunate scrolls... I get myself all worked up in a lather It's Magic Kindergarten for me! I'm so sure! Oh it seems that I have erred and I know that soon the word Will spread until it comes back at my door! Princess Celestia was understanding the first time... But twice look like tardiness, you see! I have to write it all again But I must go fetch my own pen Since Spike is still looking a little green... Come on you poor unfortunate scroll Title there! Reference here! I'm a very busy pony and I haven't got all day Missing deadlines That's my fear! Those poor unfortunate scrolls It's sad but true If I want to stay a protege I've got to sent this scroll Or I'll look like such a slacker It weighs heavy on my soul Oh Spike! Oh great, you're okay now! You were like a greedy foal... Send this poor unfortunate scroll!
7. Crash Through An Old Barn Door(Note: Sung to the tune of Frozen's "Love is an Open Door") Sung by Applejack and Rainbow Dash A large, pony shaped hole has been spotted in the middle of the door of Applejack's barn. At first, the Earth Pony suspected Rainbow Dash, judging by its shape, and...well, Rainbow's previous record of accidents when trick-flying, but the Pegasus was quick to rebuff her accusations... Okay, can I speak in my defense? If yah can, yeah. First of all why would I fly so low down on the ground Low enough to crash straight through this door? Ah was gonna ask YOU that! ‘Cause like, If yah look real closely, yah see what looks like wings Or maybe it belongs to somepony else other than yours! Look, AJ... Rainbow Dash... It can't be me... I think I see... It's clear to see what made this mess before And crash through an old barn door! Crash through an old barn door! Crash through an old barn door! I'll prove it! Can yah? Easy! Show me! Crash through an old barn door The hole's the wrong shape... What? My wings aren't solid— What's that mean? Lemme finish what I say! --enough to make a hole-- In the middle o' solid wood! There, you see! This damage proliferation Can have but one explanation This-- Was-- The work-- Of-- The CMC! What the heck... What the heck... Could have caused all of this To leave such wood splinters on the floor? And crash through an old barn door!! Crash through an old barn door!! Have they recently borrowed a saw? They did! Really?!! Last week!!! Oh, crud!!!! Crash through an old barn door... Can ah just say, Applebloom's in fer a hidin' tonight. I don't blame ya one bit, AJ! Sheesh, dude... Author's Note As requested by keam.
13. Once Upon a Time in Canterlot City(Note: Sung to the tune of Oliver and Company's "Once Upon a Time in New York City") Sung by Twilight Sparkle It is probably no secret that pretty much any formal event involving the Bearers of Harmony turns out to be an absolute zoo. One such event in which most of the population of Equestria was invited to quickly degenerated into an invasion from parasitic life-forms AND their ruler, before it came to an end by "blowing 'em up with love" according to one eyewitness statement. Now it's always once upon a time In Canterlot City It's a big old, ancient, tough old town, it's true But beginnings are contagious there They're always setting stages there They're always turning pages there for you Ain't it great the way it all began in Canterlot City? I got invited to a wedding with my friends Nopony cared about me yesterday I got a dungeon cell coming my way Got thrown into a cave with turns and bends I felt like that I could cry But then who should I spot? Why, The fake Princess Cadence lied The real one's with me We bust out our jail To Canterlot we hightail Once upon a time in Canterlot City So we storm back to the wedding In Canterlot City We reveal the bride right now has Swiss Cheese Legs! How could anyone stay starry eyed When the Changeling Army's right outside And we have to take the intruders down some pegs? Everypony, don't be scared Though honestly no one cared We six were the ones who dared To fight the army Pinkie has some fun Crank my tail, I'm a Gatling gun Once upon a time in Canterlot City The couple were still alive We used love to help survive And blew up Chrysalis with love, yes siree! All's well that ends well, So we partied like we're under a spell Once upon a time in Canterlot City And it's always once upon a time In Canterlot City
18. We Are Done(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride's "We Are One") Sung by Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia The prospect of suddenly being responsible for the well-being of an entire nation (well, in Twilight Sparkle's case technically a small town) is rather daunting. It's made worse when you have such a low opinion of yourself, like Twilight. It had only been a few days after her coronation, and to be honest, the prospect of winging it for the whole of the way was rather daunting. It just so happened Princess Celestia was within hearing range when Twilight expressed this frustration to herself... As I sit in the library, There is so much that we Have yet to learn Can I move on from here, And go move on to be a Good ruler in turn? It's barely been a short while Since I got my wings, but I'll Carry on til my dreams come undone Will they stand by my side Filled with hope and filled with pride As I lead them to their end? We are done You heard me, you heard me We are one (2x) There's no way to summarize If what you do is wise, Sometimes I can't. But there is certainty yet, I know that you get A bigger part... If I can't do a town Am I fit to wear a crown? My journey has only begun Tears of pain, tears of joy Nightmares of peace destroyed In my eyes, I realize We are done You heard me, you heard me We are one (2x) I'm too young, how can I Break my bonds and truly fly I may never surpass Celestia's sun But I'll still do my best My friends, help me pass this test I will then know for sure We...are...done Chorus: (Done, done, done) Will it be, as I see? We are done (repeat) Author's Note As requested by Blue Sparkle 227 Also, I spent longer on this one than any other. I'm probably never doing anything this serious again. It physically exhausts me.
20. I See a Fight(Note: Sung to the tune of Tangled's "I See the Light") Sung by Twilight Sparkle and Spike It's hard trying to stick to a deadline. Even harder when you have pretty much nothing to meet the standards you're supposed to meet. So when Twilight Sparkle slowly descended into psychological chaos over having nothing to report to Princess Celestia, what's the solution? Obviously, to hit the entire town with a "Want It, Need It" spell, leading to an all-out brawl over her childhood doll, Smartypants. What could possibly go wrong? All this time fretting about deadlines All this time having no lessons learnt All that time never even knowing How to get 'em burned Now I'm here, blinking in the sunlight Now I'm here, suddenly I see I just cast a simple spell To get where I'm meant to be And at last I see a fight They all want my childhood doll And at last I see a fight They're punching each other up With the Want It, Need It blight I have material for my scroll All at once everything looks different Please don't interrupt! The town's been thrown in absolute chaos One got punched to the skies I don't think wings should bend in that way I've counted eight black eyes Will Smartypants survive the damage Wait, she's out the back... The current winner in the fighting crowd Is AJ's brother Mac! And at last I see a fight What the heck was Twilight thinking? And at last I see a fight And we don't know what to do! It's just all petty and trite And our hope is somewhat sinking This was definitely wrong now This last chance you blew This last chance we blew... Author's Note As requested by Awesomo3000
22. I Just Can't Wait For This Thing(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King's "I Just Can't Wait To Be King") Sung by Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo After the last spectacular failure in getting their cutie marks (which the residents of Ponyville now refer to as "The Second Great Fire of Equestria") The Cutie Mark Crusaders are stuck for ideas. Just then, Applebloom came up with an idea; build the most spectacular, incredible, super-problem-solving-est machine in the world. Just one question: What the heck would it actually DO? I'm gonna build a mighty thing So inventors beware You have no idea what it would DO! You've pulled this out thin air! It's gonna be a main event Like nothing was before It'll make your bed and cook your lunch And for tennis it keeps score! As long as it's not built from wood and string... Oh I just can't WAIT for this thing! It'll do a dance act It'll do the dishes It'll play you music Anything you wishes! It'll fix your things all day! Solve anything that comes your way! It sounds like it'll be a hit But where would you even start? I'd make it version 1.1 And add on different parts! You sure that it would hold up right The materials sound amiss It's wood and gems and mud and steel Because it ALWAYS is It's what's most available to bring Oh I just can't wait for this thing! It'll tell you stories It provides a nightlight It'll clean your bedroom It'll bake a pie right! And so we're gonna go for broke and sing It sounds so dumb, the trouble it would bring But finished it'll be our finest fling Oh we just can't wait for this thing! Oh we just can't wait for this thing! Oh we just can't wait... For this thing! Author's Note As requested by Tacosaurus101
27. I'll Put A Ban On It Too(Note: Sung to the tune of Mulan's "I'll make a man out of you") Sung by Mayor Mare and the Ponyville residents Ponyville is a small quiet town, with the occasional strange and terrifying incidents to break the humdrum of an otherwise orderly life. It was not always so. Before Twilight Sparkle came along, bringing her organisation skills with her for the better, Mayor Mare had to defy the concept of "ain't no rule" as much as she could. Let's get down to business To put up some rules Parkour on the rooftops No that's just not cool! Using cats as hoofballs That's just cruel So's using mules to make some glue Watch me, I'll put a ban on it too Please stop telling Pinkie You want what she's on There's blood still on the fountain And I want it gone Stop mocking me with Exaggerated Limb movements right on cue Or else I'll put a ban on it too I can't call griffins "horseybirds" Not allowed back at the nightclub (I replaced the DJ's tracks with fennel seed) I must go use the proper words I can't spy on folks in bathtubs I should accept that goats and tigers cannot breed (Put a ban) Because the strangest thing of all is (Put a ban) They happened enough times to warrant rules (Put a ban) With all my authority as Mayor I will close up all the loopholes in the pool Lyra's not cannon fodder And Town Hall does not have Tuesday Open-Mike Nights And don't steal my staff And please do not cite Nightmare Moon As the greatest influence on you Watch as I put a ban on it too! (Put a ban) Because the strangest thing of all is (Put a ban) They happened enough times to warrant rules (Put a ban) With all my authority as Mayor I will close up all the loopholes in the pool (Put a ban) Because the strangest thing of all is (Put a ban) They happened enough times to warrant rules (Put a ban) With all my authority as Mayor I will close up all the loopholes in the pool Author's Note As requested by Cstgeorge. Inspired by the famous "100 Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In Hogwarts" lists that are everywhere.
29. Barter's Your Word(Note: Sung to the tune of The Little Mermaid's "Part Of Your World") Sung by Rainbow Dash The Rainbow Falls Traders Exchange is a massive trading festival famous in Equestria. Here, you can trade off pretty much anything you want for things you need or want. It's a time to wheel, deal and steal. Or at least do the first two, anyway. Look at this stuff. Isn't it neat? I'll want your book for a sugary treat Don't you think I'm the pony, the one who has everything? Look at this trove, treasures untold How many wonders can this one cart hold? Looking around here you'd think: "Sure, we've got everything" I've got Wonderbolt memorabilia a-plenty Rarity has got diamonds galore I just want what you've got, about twenty The trading game is your chance here to score! Lyra wants to be where the humans are She picked up a watch from a booth Swapping it off for those... What do you call 'em? Oh, beans Fluttershy just got discounted alfalfa In exchange for a manticore tooth So far she got a sweet deal... Angel Bunny needs his greens I'll do my chair You do that pair Of autographed goggles for stunts in the air Value's the same In the Swap Game Barter's your word What should you give? You want this sieve used by Sapphire Shores? What would you pay to spend a day with DJ Pon-3? Auction Hunters sell off wonders Like antiques you don't get in the normal stores Treasure galore, and plenty more, much more to see And Twilight has got first edition books But I think Pinkie's ripping herself off here... AJ brought her cooking... For some vintage...thing! I brought my stuff All up to snuff, Mint condition with no bends or curls This stuff's a steal Make me a deal Barter's your word
33. World's Greatest Historic Find(Note: Sung to the tune of The Great Mouse Detective's: "World's Greatest Criminal Mind") Sung by Twilight Sparkle and Spike On a magical historic trip across Equestria, Twilight Sparkle discovers what she believes to be one of the most important finds in ancient Equestrian history...Starswirl the Bearded's shopping list. Later translations from the old hoof-runes would show that he was apparently out to buy a pint of milk and a size 7 wizard's hat, with a small note at the bottom regarding a 50% discount somewhere. Despite its seemingly unimportant contribution to understanding the past, Twilight believes it may be revolutionary. Maybe. "It's Starswirl the Bearded! It MUST be important!" From the pony who greatly revolutionized magic The sage who made growing beards a lot less tragic And the Father of the amniomorphic spell Who's name was given to a library shelf Now comes the real tour de force Incredibly insightful, of course The earlier scrolls were fine but so droll But now we have positive proof Of what food he Liked and who he's seeing All written down in hoof You kidding? You serious? Not much to gleam from an ancient grocery list... This parchment would not be missed As History As History It falls far behind Do you think it's Do you think it's The world's greatest historic find? This shopping list This shopping list I guess it's a thing... This shopping list This shopping list Has not got much insight to bring... Even louder Let's shout it! You think it belongs in the archives and vaults? If it's forgotten, not my fault! The shopping list The shopping list It's one of a kind To the shopping list To the shopping list The world's "greatest" historic find!
38. Peanut Butter Cracker(Note: Sung to the tune of Bambi's "Little April Shower") Sung by Trixie In an alternative world somewhere, the brightly coloured pastel ponies are actually brightly clothed pastel HUMANS. But honestly, if you were to ask Twilight Sparkle, there actually isn't much difference between the two, apart from the lack of magic. Around the school grounds of Canterlot High, the very first items to sell out at the vending machines are always the peanut butter crackers. The Great and Powerful Trixie can't help it. They are so magically delicious. Crisp crisp crunch Peanut butter crackers Leaving behind all the crumbs on my skirt Crisp crisp crunch Peanut butter crackers Your nutty crunch keeps me up and alert Up and alert, up an alert Snack time, snack time Crisp crisp crunch When the sky is cloudy Your crunchy goodness will brighten the day Crisp crisp crunch When the sky is cloudy Your snappy charm helps me work, rest and play And they're just 50 calories Crisp crisp crunch Peanut butter crackers One dollar fifty for one pack of twelve Crisp crisp crunch Peanut butter crackers Always the first thing to fly off the shelf Crisp crisp crunch When the mood is sour You're always there in the vending machine Drip, drip, drop When the mood is sour You're always there in the vending machine Small little nutty bites Small little nutty bites Soon sets everything right Soon sets everything right Not for those with allergies Specifically, nut allergies Every taste I would never waste They're the centre of my galaxy Crisp crisp crunch Peanut butter crackers You're the best thing about Canterlot High Crisp crisp crunch Peanut butter crackers You're delicious, I can but wonder why Crisp crisp crunch Peanut butter crackers Leaving behind all the crumbs on my skirt Crisp crisp crunch Peanut butter crackers Your nutty crunch keeps me up and alert Up and alert, mmm.
39. Gone Today(Note: Sung to the tune of Brother Bear's "On My Way") Sung by Applejack The residents of Ponyville always look forward to Cider Season, when the Apple Family make their special cider at a time when the apples are in their best season. They're so popular in fact, that you have to get up really early in order to secure a good spot in the queue and actually get any cider at all. Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash, until recently, never seemed to actually arrive in time to get any. Because everypony else is prepared to camp out at Sweet Apple Acres the night before. Sometimes TWO nights before. And every time Rainbow was next in line, the answer was always the same. Tell everypony they're gone today Sold out of cider for the year We're all outta drink, yeah, they're gone today Ah know that it's all yer worst fear Tell everypony they're gone today Ah regret that we don't have no more With the sun beating down, yes, they're gone today Better luck next year, for sure Cause there's nothing like chugging our drink down again No matter what the distance between But Pinkie and Berry Punch buy half the stock And load 'em in the cart So tell 'em all they're gone today Our cider sells faster than gold A first-come, first-serve basis, Ya gotta get there first And ah can't keep our wares on hold Not cryin' and not beggin' Can change mah mind It ain't being fair on the folks here first Can't keep it for next year 'Cos cider goes bad real quick So no point cryin' loud an' fit to burst Cause they're gone today now Well and truly They're gone today now (They're gone today now) (They're gone today now (They're gone today now) Tell everypony they're gone today (Tell everypony they're gone today) It's just that we ran outta mugs (just that we ran outta mugs) You gotta be quick, yes, they're gone today You can't set a pace like a slug (You tried campin', sugarcube) So tell everypony they're gone today My advice is to camp out 'til morn (is to camp out 'til morn) When the sun sets on over, yes, they're gone today So camp up or else y'all be torn They're gone today Yes, they're gone today Author's Note After this, I'm pretty hard up for ideas. I can't think of too many songs (or at the very least, not enough titles). So instead of just a song, could you also throw out a good title as well? K thx. And don't forget to fave and leave a comment too!
43. Bed-less Pony(Note: Sung to the tune of The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr Toad's "Headless Horseman") Sung by Vinyl Scratch aka DJ-Pon3 DJ-Pon3 couldn't remember much from last night, or the reason why she woke up with a massive headache and her mane littered with twigs. All she knew was, she was up a tree in the Everfree Forest with a saxophone and a tiger, wearing who knows what, with only herself to blame. Or at least that was what everypony would say. Gather 'round and I'll elucidate What went down at the club so late Pinkie Pie parties, I party hard For some reason, from the zoo I'm barred... There's a tiger with stripes and great big eyes And it's got fangs about this size I lost my Vinyl tracks and shades And I'm dressed in a black outfit for maids I'm telling you, brony, it's a frightful sight I dunno what the heck happened last night How I got up here's a mystery There's no ladder, far as I can see I'm broke, that's bad, but even worse I'm a bed-less pony with no purse That's right, I'm a fright just late last night I'm aching all over from head to hoof Sleeping in branches and leaves for a roof Ponies take one look and groan And they tell me leave the punch alone Can't help but feel I'm all on my own And there's a saxophone taped to my horn I think my mane's filled with twigs and corn I swear to the longest day I live I'll exercise the moderation I can give I'd jump down there but it's quite a fall So how'd I get up here at all? A massive headache in my brain Make casting magic such a strain Last night's fuzzy, it's just not clear How I wound up in the tree right here... With a tiger, a saxophone And a bed-less pony all alone With a hip, hip and a clippity clop I'll make my party spirit stop So please don't stop to figure out "why" Just don't copy this bed-less guy Now if you doubt this tale is so Just ask Octavia, she should know No doubt she'll talk of dubstep beats Or how she lost sight of me in the seats For she'd have stopped me there, my friend If she stayed with me to the end So when you're ridin' home tonight Make sure you mind is clear and right Or else you'll end up just like me With strange acquisitions, no money! With a hip, hip and a clippity clop I think my dignity's for the chop So please don't stop to figure out "why" Just don't copy this bed-less guy
45. Mange Things(Note: Sung to the tune of Toy Story's "Strange Things") Sung by Rarity It was a beautiful day. The sun was out, and not a cloud in the sky (Rainbow Dash got grilled by her boss and had to clear the sky early). It was a day where you couldn't help feel happy. Or at least as happy as you can be when you wake up to discover most of your hair's fallen out. Everywhere. Rarity later described the incident as "The. Worst. Possible. Thing!" (She says that for everything though.) The Ponyville residents who woke up to the sounds of Rarity's panicked screaming deemed it "legendary". It took a lot of effort on her friends' part to actually drag her out of the Carousel Boutique and take her to a doctor. I was on top of the world It was going to be a perfect day I was brushing my mane things were just the way they should be When suddenly I start shedding like mad My coat and mane just fall away Now all of a sudden some mange things are happening to me I'm going bald I'm going totally bald Now all my hair is gone And I'm doing the best I can to carry on I had beauty (beauty) I was respected (respected) But not any more And I'm leaving my purple locks all over the floor Let me tell you about the Mange things are happening to me Mange things Mange things are happening to me... Ain't no doubt about it There's many pinks patches all over My hair's out of place now The minute I turn my back, my tail dropped right off They'll laugh at my looks, I think I'm a disgrace And I'm in danger And I'll end up alone, forgotten, with stubble so rough Mange things are happening to me Mange things Mange things are happening to me Ain't no doubt about it Mange things are happening to me Mange things Mange things are happening to me Mange things (x2) Author's Note As requested by Le_DragonBroneE
50. I Didn't Know That I Could Deal This Way(Note: Sung to the tune of Lady and The Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure's "I Didn't Know That I Could Feel This Way") Sung by Flim and Flam When con-artists Flim and Flam were only young, they were the sorts of ponies who were itching to make money on pretty much any scheme they could think off. Some were successful, others not so much. Indeed, they probably would have been the same as any other pony had it not been for the fact that one day, the two of them succeeded in scamming an entire playground out of what was easily ten times their monthly pocket money. It was made worse by the fact that the two actually earned their cutie marks out of this. They later told their parents they got it for their entrepreneurial skills. It wasn't technically a lie, so they felt that the answer was adequate. I never done this dealing before We rake in so much money, I can't ignore And I see that there's more now Than just playing fair I never felt my heart beat so fast We scammed all the kids down to the last Look how happy they are with their wares It's amazing that we're in the dough Look how rich we could be I didn't know that I could deal this way It's so crazy that they bought the lie It's better than a dream I didn't know that I could deal this way It makes me warm and happy inside Our loot gets me all dizzy and starry eyed All these feelings I have Have me asking Is this our life? Is this our life? It's awesome I can hardly speak Sales ponies nonpareil/Sales ponies nonpareil I didn't know that I could deal I never dreamed that I could deal I didn't know that I could deal This way Author's Note I might have mentioned it before, but I'm running low on ideas. Not in the song department, just in the title department. So if you could leave a comment naming a song and a good parody title I think I can squeeze out some semblance of a song. Thanks!
150. Aggravation(Note: Sung to the tune of Brother Bear's "Transformation") Sung by Rarity "I had no idea where my horn was taking me. But unicorn magic doesn't happen without a reason. I knew this had to do with my love of fashion and maybe even my cutie mark! I knew that this was... MY DESTINY!" To say that Rarity wasn't disappointed at what her horn eventually lead her to would be untrue. Thankfully, it wasn't ACTUALLY her destiny. What is this, I'm destined now Be with boulders, I fear For no reason why Horn says a ROCK'S my destiny And I sure do not understand This is the worst destiny ever I was dragged out here towards a rock This is the worst destiny ever Whatever's meant for me, that's not right! "Come with me, I'll take you there" So said my STUPID horn That's NOT what I need to be the one I need to be And all of those miles that I crossed Amounted to just wasted time This is the worst destiny ever I was dragged out here towards a rock This is the worst destiny ever Whatever's meant for me, that's not right! Author's Note As requested by T1MBUK0N3. Translated directly from Whinnyuit (pony equivalent of Inuit). It's that time again. Pitch songs (titles also welcome) at me, as I am running out of ideas. Thank you!
52. Everypony Hates That Evil Cat(Note: Sung to the tune of The Aristocats's "Everybody Wants To Be A Cat") Sung by Spike and Sweetie Belle Spike's secret that pretty much isn't a secret at all is that he's madly in love with Rarity. As he makes a lot of effort to try and hang around her, on occasion he'll bump into Sweetie Belle, but she's usually off doing her thing with the other Cutie Mark Crusaders, so they don't talk much. At least there is one common point of interest. They don't see a lot of point in a pet that makes no effort to try and love you back. Like Rarity's cat, Opalescence. Well, everypony, let me elucidate here Everypony hates that evil cat Because that cat's the only cat Who don't care where you're at Tell me! Everypony's knowing that she ain't that sweet To her, you're pretty obsolete She's such a grumpy pet! There are plenty dresses torn Rarity wishes she weren't born That feline don't care! She'll bring a dead bird or mouse Right there into our house She's like this all day Cha cha ba dum bo day She won't let you stroke her Or just play nice You know that cat's the only cat You'd consider a vice Who would hope For that misanthrope Or stuff like that... ...When everypony hates that evil cat? She claws well hard enough To leaves scratches and tufts She does not like you Boy, she's cranky, cranky, cranky Does she remind you of Angel Bunny enough? She will hate you too Boy, she's cranky, cranky, cranky Everypony hates that evil cat Because that cat's the only cat Who don't care where you're at To be honest, keeping her, where's Rarity at? 'Cause everypony wants rid of that grumpy cat If you want to avoid her Save the cuts and loss of fur And not sprayed in kitty litter too Make sure that you're well outside Try to stay out late at night And make excuses not to go home, do... You're around to fill her bowl Not a "thank you", she's so cold The heartless feline's just a pest She deprives you of your rest Everypony, everypony, everypony hates that evil cat! Hallejuah! Everypony, everypony, everypony hates that evil cat! I'm telling you! Everypony, everypony, everypony hates that evil cat! Yeah! Everypony, everypony, everypony hates that evil cat! Mmmm! Everypony, everypony, everypony hates that evil cat! Hallejuah! Everypony, everypony, everypony hates that evil cat! Author's Note As requested by remnants
54. Throw A Discus (And Lots More)(Note: Sung to the tune of Hercules's "Go The Distance") Sung by Applebloom Cutie Pox is a mysterious illness in ponies in which the sufferer sudden breaks out into cuties marks all over the body, compulsively forcing the sufferer to perform all of the talents that come with it. Well, Applebloom came down with this when she concocted a potion for an instant cutie mark using ingredients she stole from Zecora, which went about as well as you'd expect... Ah can hula-hoop for eight straight hours Ah wanted my cutie mark, To come straight to me Ah sweep your chimneys, And can arrange flowers But Ah just can't stop, This ain't how it's meant to be Ah can spin yer plates, Ah can throw a discus Mah body just won't do What it's told, Ah swear Ah make china pots, As the marks break out like spots Ah can grow a business, But right now Ah don't care Je suis un lion Fantastique dompteur Je compose des chansons Whoops, my French slipped through, Mah feet won't stop dancin', Can't stop the beat Mah hooves ache so badly, Ah just don't know what to do And that potion drink, Make me go all listless Shoulda stopped to think, Ah should just accept defeat Doomed to work all wired, Even when Ah'm tired Through this woeful instance, Ah can only move mah feet Ah don't know why, but I I can lift up to thousand tons Every special talent I just came down with every one! Like a girl possessed, I will row this instant I can build a house, I can swing from trees I don't care how far, Want it gone, good riddance I'm a slave to my talents til, There's a cure for me! I can build a house, I can swing from trees I'm a slave to my talents til, There's a cure for me! Author's Note As requested by dragonspinner33
56. Kick The Girl(Note: Sung to the tune of The Little Mermaid's "Kiss The Girl") Sung by Fluttershy There's being assertive and there's just being a total jerk. Unfortunately, Fluttershy found it hard to tell the difference between the two the day she attended Iron Will's assertiveness seminar and put his teachings into practice. When Fluttershy wasn't happy, ain't NOPONY's happy. There I see her When sompony tries to block I just show 'em that I rock New Fluttershy's seizing the day And you don’t know how I'll throw you out now I wanna kick the girl Not worth my time Look at her, you know you do It’s possible she'll butt in, too Well I'm not going to let her If you cut in line I'll just take what's mine Go on and kick the girl Sing with me now Sha-la-la-la-la-la My, oh, my You think that I won't try? I ain’t gonna kick you, girl? Sha-la-la-la-la-la That's just sad Ain’t it shame, too bad Gonna get kicked, my girl Now’s my moment I will not apologize Not when I can criticize No time will be better Now I was here first You lot are just the worst I'm set to kick the girl Sha-la-la-la-la-la You'll be scared I'll throw you to the air I'm gonna kick the girl Sha-la-la-la-la-la In my space My hoof goes in your face All set to kick the girl Sha-la-la-la-la-la Move the line Where the sun don't shine I'm gonna kick the girl Sha-la-la-la-la-la Hey you there You're giving me a stare You wanna kick, my girl? I wanna kick the girl You'll get a kick, my girl I gotta kick the girl Go on and kick the girl Author's Note As requested by dragonspinner33
58. The Three Angry Sparrows(Note: Sung to the tune of The Three Caballeros's "The Three Caballeros") Sung by Fluttershy Fluttershy, as an animal caretaker, looks after many critters and other not-so-cuddly creatures. Three examples are some sparrow, who seem to be totally fixated on being seriously misanthropic and just plain mean. Fluttershy's not sure why; as far as she knows they seem to have come from a relatively normal family. Maybe it's because they've realized they'll hop the twig after 18 months. Who knows? They're three angry sparrows Raging angry sparrows They say they are birds of a feather They're hacked off 'bout something Their anger's unbecoming There's no love, there's nothing They're outraged forever They're three rotten birdies But don't take my word-ies Antagonistic, sharp like an arrow They're not afraid to show it They hate you and you'll know it Who says so? They say so! The three angry sparrows Ahhhh! Take care not to be seen Or they will peck you clean Fly as fast you can If only that energy Were used constructively! Turn your tail and just flee Fastest you ever ran! Through fair and stormy weather They loathe you all together They perch on a shelf They're not trapped with you You're trapped with them, too Stuck with this angry crew You'll want to save yourself! Ahhhh! Please don't call them grumpy That term's rather bumpy It implies a soft center There's no kindness in their souls Their heart's as black as coal You'll scream like a foal Take heed, and enter... Author's Note Yes, a sparrow's lifespan's that short, BTW
63. That's What Twilight Sparkle Found(Note: Sung to the tune of The Sword In The Stone's "That's What Makes The World Go Round") Sung by Pinkie Pie Pinkie Pie stashes items all over Ponyville in case of emergencies where they may be useful. Balls, whisks, the key to the lost city of Cantlantis, you name it. After discovering this, Twilight Sparkle was compelled to investigate exactly what sort of things Pinkie was keeping all over Ponyville. The items that she discovered after going on a hunt for Pinkie's stashed items was frankly astonishing. At least everything she found was labelled with a note telling whoever found them to use them as they liked, but please return them when they were done. Yes, even the things you would not expect to stay still. Eggs and spoons Green balloons That's what Twilight Sparkle found King-sized beds Shrunken heads That's what Twilight Sparkle found Let's not forget the boxing gloves A shelter for threats from above For every berry there's some cream For every shock there is a scream Stick and stone Memory foam That's what Twilight Sparkle found... "...I actually DON'T remember hiding this!" Pinkie said later on. "FANTASTIC! It worked!" She also found Pumpkin and Pound Playing hide-and-seek with me In the square, Bazookas there They're Party Cannons, upgrade 3! I stashed them in the fountains, cos I didn't want to raise a fuss They can still injure you, you see With streamers at high velocity Rubber bands Ransom demands That's what Twilight Sparkle found Ceiling tiles Acid vials That's what Twilight Sparkle found And underground, she had a look She found Cupcakes, a horror book And later on green eggs and ham For mutant radioactive rams Pangolins Plastic bins That's what Twilight Sparkle found Fluttershy Wait, WHAT? WHY? That's what Twilight Sparkle found For one day curiosity Compelled Twilight to look, you see And that's what Twilight Sparkle found
68. Driving Me Around The Bend(Note: Sung to the tune of Pocahontas's "Just Around The River Bend") Sung by Rarity As much as Rarity loves her sister Sweetie Belle, she does find herself exasperated by Sweetie Belle's antics, particularly at finding her cutie mark which normally involves a lot of property damage and angry ponies. At least most of the time she's either at school or hanging out with her friends, but when Sweetie Belle stays with Rarity for a prolonged period of time...well, a flooded town is par for the course when this happens. What I love most about Sweetie is: She's good-hearted and looks up to me But her exuberance does wear myself thin But fillies, I guess, must live like that Damaging property To be safe, I'm probably better off not knowing Driving me around the bend Simply driving me around the bend I lost my threads Driving me around the bend I simply dread What she's done today I'll lose my head She needs a catapult's end Driving me around the bend For me Not good for me I feel it there beyond those trees Or right behind these waterfalls She wants a cutie mark in daredevil rowing With Applebloom and Scootaloo Destroying other ponies' walls Or flood the town with all the water flowing? Driving me around the bend Driving me around the bend I dread to think Driving me around the bend You're by the sink Then you hear a sound Oncoming drink For them this is the end Driving me around the bend Driving me around the bend... Good thing I was out of town I come back to water deep... Good thing no-one was asleep Sweetie's grounded to no end Just what is next still gives me the shivers Driving me around the bend
78. For The First Time, In The Heather(Note: Sung to the tune of Frozen's "For The First Time Since Forever") Sung by Scootaloo and Applebloom Applebloom and Sweetie Belle hadn't seen Scootaloo all of the afternoon after school. At first, they thought she might have been fillynapped, but the truth was something a little more embarrassing. She was...trying out a tricky new stunt on her scooter and crashed into a heather bush, and couldn't get back out. It was surprisingly comfortable. Quite possibly the most pleasant crash ever had on a scooter, honestly. I crashed my scooter straight through the fence! I didn't know I’d get my comeuppance! And I think I scuffed my scooter’s paint job... I think I’ve fallen and can’t get up I’m totally legless like a newborn pup And I smell pollen upon the handle-knob! This couldn’t get any more awkward It's just totally strange I think that this trick’s a bit out my range… Cause it’s the first time in the heather You know I’m stuck in the hedge! For the first time, in the heather My feelings would be on edge... If this plant just didn’t smell so lovely Sheesh, I really am going mad! Cause for the first time in the heather It’s not, like, too bad… Don’t think that little stunt went right… (gasp) Don’t mind me, I’m... alright! It’s actually really quite comfy Lying in the bush, believe you me The picture of serenity and calm... Ooh! I suddenly saw a centipede Crawling by my face among the weed I’m fine, it’s not like heather does you harm! But I hope somepony rescues me soon I have to sleep, you know I just can’t spend the night stuck like so! For the first time in the heather It’s quite comfy, but I’ll say For the first time in the heather I’d like to be rescued anyway... And I know it's totally crazy Being trapped inside a plant... But for the first time in the heather Not in the mood to rant! Where’s Scootaloo? Where could she be? Askin’ round town Where she was last seen Ah hope that she’s Alright and well... Cos with these things Ya really just can’t tell Hope it's only for today It's only for today! It's agony to wait It's agony to wait! Hope the Crusaders aren't...too late! Too late! For the first time in the heather (Where’s Scootaloo? Where could she be?) The crash was somehow relaxing! (Askin' round town where she was last seen) All things considered, could be worse (Ah hope) In case you were asking! (Ah hope that she's alright and well!) But I hope I'm found tomorrow Or perhaps I'm found today! But for the first time in the heather... For the first time in the heather Nothing bad to say! Oh! Author's Note As requested by pinkiedash100
83. Vinyl Scratch's Heaven(Note: Sung to the tune of Home On The Range's "Little Patch Of Heaven") Sung by Vinyl Scratch aka DJ Pon3 DJ Pon3 gets her fair share of interviews from the press. It comes with being a famous disc-jockey, after all. Looking back, if you asked her, "What was the best question you ever got asked in an interview?" she would reply: "Oh yeah. No doubt about it. I once got asked what my idea of heaven was. It ain't that hard, really." I know a time When I can mix Tracks and the dubstep beats Pull all the stops, all of the tricks. Layin’ down the beats there Down in the nightclubs, Oh yeah, Vinyl Scratch’s heaven Is more wubs. But you know what I care To hear right there? Sapphire Shore’s tracks remixed- Electric guitars blare. Wanna party all night- Bring the wubs on full, Cos see, Vinyl Scratch’s heaven Ain’t so dull. If I had my way I would say Cider should not Give me a headache, Like lead, ache So bad. Cos I once I woke up in a tree With just no memory Yeah, I only want the fun times Just to be had! Octavia Wub mania Beet-oat-ven’s tunes, remixed and soon Again, retrained-ier. Cos maybe Tavi Might just be impressed …Least in Vinyl Scratch’s heaven I’d be blessed… And every gig Would be big All Sold Out. Just me and the crowd Feelin’ proud, You bet. And at Canterlot City I won’t need security Why, it's just as close to perfect As you can get! I know you’ll say, It’s a long way, But I’ll tell you that in my view I’m quite close to that day! I'm climbing the ladder A great rising star Cos Vinyl Scratch’s heaven Ain’t that far... Apart from the cider Octavia too I’d say Vinyl Scratch’s heaven Will come true! Author's Note As requested by The Princess Rarity It's a pity you can't smoothly incorporate WUBS in written lyrics...
88. I Cannot Concentrate(Note: Sung to the tune of Aladdin II: The Return Of Jafar's "You're Only Second Rate") Sung by Big Macintosh It was supposed to be a peaceful day of work at the farm, until Granny Smith told Big Macintosh the gazebo needed repairing. As unfortunate luck would have it, he was all out of nails, and he needed to go buy more. But standing between Lugnut's hardware store and the farm was the entirety of the Summer Wrap Up Festival... Ah must admit Ah’m out of nails For gazebos Ah need to go into town To get some more Now here's my chance But unfortunately Festival’s in swing C'mon down Go and shop for things Cutie Mark Crusaders With some fireworks That looks awful dangerous Out there, peril lurks Ah'll set the record straight AH DON’T WANNA DATE! Ah cannot concentrate! And a baker’s couple Foist their kids on me While they go deliver Confectionary Why’s it got to be me? Come back with the cake! Ah cannot concentrate! Got roped in Ah’m “nope”-in’ Ah’m quite busy Trixie’s doing a puppet show It’s quite the craze You know at this rate that Ah’ll never catch Lugnut Wanna have some space Ah’ll find a way to escape from this place But before Ah head out Someone’s cart made off So Ah go get out Stop to help their job Sweet Celestia, Ah may Miss him on the way! Ah cannot concentrate! Ah removed a splinter, Won a horse shoe toss, Made off like a sprinter Drank cider like a boss As distractions rate It’s a real sorry state Ah cannot concentrate! Later on, Ah warn ya D.T’s Advice Corner Bulk Bicep’s Training Booth And Ah partner with Princess Luna. “Forsooth!” So we make the competition drop Ah make my escape straight to the shop What a sight that waits Ah could up and faint Lugnut’s hardware store Ain’t looking so great It’s burnt to the ground It’s a sorry state Ah couldn’t concentrate! Author's Note As requested by ShadowLDrago. Based on the comics.
90. Bedazzle The Car(Note: Sung to the tune of Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search For Christopher Robin's "Wherever You Are") Sung by Pinkie Pie One of Pinkie Pie's oddest dreams: She dreamt that she was in a city, which was dull and grey and full of lifeless activity. She then spotted a large machine with 4 wheels outside, and so took it upon herself to add some colour to this otherwise drab city. Elsewhere, in another world, a short, unemployed misanthrope woke up one morning to find someone had bedazzled his precious car. Come out soon See my finest art Come on Come on Bedazzle the car Glitter on the hubcaps The wheels need pink paint too Decorating And tiny little pink beads Around the headlights, a few Decorating And when they check the glove compartment I hid a special big surprise And I glued on spirals and stars I livened up this thing so far I add colour to the view Bedazzle the car I’ll hear you laugh It's fun and free! The exhaust's stuffed with confetti! Tires made from chewing gum The pedals have gotten bling With some sequins I decorated head to hoof Haven't missed out anything With some sequins I know this is only a dream here No consequences to be had And I glued on spirals and stars I livened up this thing so far Or maybe this is all too real? Oh well, I know someone will feel Pleased as punch when they see what's the deal! Bedazzle the car Bedazzle the car Author's Note IMPORTANT! We're fast approaching the 100th Chapter! So in order to commemorate such an event PROPERLY, I need to know which song or songs were amongst your favourites to be placed in my little Hall of Fame in my 100th Chapter Spectacularmathon! Just leave a comment listing your best ones! Ten...
92. Sad Madam Belle(Note: Sung to the tune of The Sword In The Stone's "Mad Madame Mim") Sung by Rarity The Ponyville Foal and Filly Fair was almost underway, and Rarity had made one of her most fabulous looking puppet stands for the fair, with the help of Spike. Unfortunately, the puppeteer found her extraordinarily elaborate contraption to be way too impractical, and sent it back. Next thing anypony knew, Rarity was crying to herself eating vanilla oat swirl ice-cream. The theatre's a flop In pieces, my dream Om nomnom nom nom Just me and my ice-cream It was a project that hadn't gone well 'Cause I'm the un-fabulous, pathetic, sad Madam Belle Se how distraught Downtrodden and Disappointed or Depressed I am Nopony loves me except this tub Of Vanilla Oat Swirl 'Cause I'm the un-fabulous, pathetic, sad Madam Belle! I say I vant to be left all alone I'm stuck in a creative rut of my own Boo hoo hoo hoo, Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo Wah hah hah hah hah A bloo bloo bloo bloo bloo bloo* But just then, finally For om nomnom nom nom The harsh reality Is I'm the un-fabulous, pathetic, sad, sad, sad, sad Madam Belle! Author's Note As requested by Revenant Wings *Substitute your own wails of despair here if these are not adequate for your needs. Eight...
95. She's Still Weird(Note: Sung to the tune of Treasure Planet's "I'm Still Here") Sung by Smart Cookie Smart Cookie was the Secretary of the Interior and aide to Chancellor Puddinghead. It was largely a thankless job, and with Puddinghead being as stir crazy as she was, her best hope was to try and divert her interests towards aiding society as a whole and hope the collateral damage would not be too great by playing the dumb yes-mare. I am an aid to Puddinghead, Making sure that she’s not dead Since that girl can’t take care of herself And what do you think I'd ever say She won't listen anyway She’s stir crazy So I point her in the direction that suits me. And what do you think you'd understand She believes in humans and There’s an undead cuttlefish in Lake Trot And I insist on living proof That people live inside her hoof It’s strange to me Cause I'm not weird She’s got a bird mounted and stuffed, Saying it’s dead is not enough It is still the Speaker Of The House… And how can the world get her to change Insanity stays the same They don't know me Cause I'm not weird And I stopped her from very nearly Declaring war on the sea Now you know me and I'm quite afraid And she wears fresh pudding for a hat A tiny chariot pulled by rats She can't break me As long as I know who I am And what’s left of sense has gone bad She thinks a puppet cat’s her dad Wanna hold on, and try not to snap… And how can the world get her to change Insanity stays the same They don't know me And she's still weird She can't tell me that there be A small angry monkey Hiding behind the closet I know that she’s lost it, not me And her words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe She’d like to take some time to thank A crudely crafted wooden plank Puddinghead, she dares to be stupid And how can the world get her to change Insanity stays the same They don't know me And she's still weird I'm the one 'Cause she's still weird She's still weird She's still weird She's still weird Author's Note With all due credit to K9Thefirst1 IMPORTANT! We're fast approaching the 100th Chapter! So in order to commemorate such an event PROPERLY, I need to know which song or songs were amongst your favourites to be placed in my little Hall of Fame in my 100th Chapter Spectacularmathon! Just leave a comment listing your best ones! Five...
101. Pinkie Swear(Note: Sung to the tune of Lady and The Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure's "Always There") Sung by Pinkie Pie "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." If you have never made a Pinkie Pie Swear (shortened to Pinkie Promise), then you must realise the sheer gravity behind not only speaking these words, but also making the appropriate actions while doing so (mind your eye, Twilight would like to remind us). For you have just made a vow even more binding than a legal contract; heck, it's less risky to sell your mortal soul to darkness; there's considerably less consequences. Don't break a Pinkie Promise, or kneecaps WILL be broken. Pinkie Swear A legally binding contract Pinkie Swear An unbreakable vow Pinkie Swear Take it back at your peril Pinkie Swear You cannot back out now Honestly... If you do Ever break Pinkie’s promise Through and through I’ll break all of your legs Or yet worse I’ll turn your spine to putty Pinkie Swear Your skull is like an egg Honestly… Honestly Honestly I value honesty Promise that you’ll follow through We’ll have no problems then You break it, and it’s not “if”, it’s “when” Pinkie Swear A promise not made lightly (I value honesty) Take it back Tartarus waits for thee ‘Part from that, Everything is cool then! Pinkie Swear A vow made personally! Honestly Pinkie Swear Honestly Honestly Honestly Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123.
102. Love Will Blow You Away(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride's "Love Will Find A Way") Sung by Princess Cadence Love is a powerful thing indeed. Princess Cadence and Shining Armor were able to harness the magic of Love to defeat the changeling army and banish Queen Chrysalis from Canterlot. It was inevitable therefore, that some of Canterlot's top scientists would seek to experiment with this magic, and find out whether this seemingly infinite type of magic could be used to power household objects such as ovens and vehicles. On our wedding day When all hope was lost Down the changelings came And they found to their cost Our love was spicy They got totally owned I may not be brave or strong or smart But I can weapon-ise my heart I know love will blow you away If I set my mind I know love can even move mountains My husband’s shining ray We would make it brisk Ignore us at your risk Love will blow you away Canterlot’s best techs Wants to harness me Love is never wrong Theoretically They want to use love To power all things Use love to fuel toasters or a train Or Equestria’s output of rain They know love will blow you away They’ll experiment See if it’s got potential for more They are testing, come what may Love as fuel, how that fares Power mundane home-wares Love can blow you away I know love can blow you away Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. Inspired by the Equestria Enquirer.
107. The Worst Of Both Worlds(Note: Sung to the tune of Hannah Montana's "The Best Of Both Worlds") Sung by Fluttershy Being a model sucks. It is especially bad when you're Fluttershy and you have rather bad stage-fright. But, when fashion photographer Photo Finish arrived for Rarity's shoot, she immediately saw Fluttershy's charm, ad to the dismay of Rarity AND Fluttershy, the timid pegasus was chosen to be a model. It was awful, just awful. Oh no Come on I get all the eyes on me Hottest styles, every dress, every color Yeah, when I’m famous it is not hard to see I hate it but Rarity never discovers This doesn’t help my stage fright one bit But on stage I'm a star I get the worst of both worlds Chillin' out? Got no time! A fashion show at nine I get the worst of both worlds Got no time for my friends and you know that it's the worst of Both worlds The worst of both worlds(Yeah!) Photo Finish making Da Magicks (is she really serious?) See my face on the magazines Livin' two lives makes me totally sick (yeah) Never wanted to be a beauty queen Yeah, I have to wear a hat and shades Or I’ll get mobbed by crowds of my fans I get the worst of both worlds Can’t let down Rarity, Since she passed this to me! I get the worst of both worlds Can’t use anonymity, so I know that it's the worst of Both I know the worst of both worlds Pictures and autographs I just feel like shriveling like a weed… The worst part’s that I cannot be Whoever I wanna be Worst! Worst! Yeah worst of both Worst! Worst! You get the worst of both Worst! Worst! Come on the worst of both Who would have thought that a girl like me Would double as a superstar... Arrgh! I get the worst of both worlds Anonymity Not an option for me I get the worst of both worlds Got no gall to say no, and you know that it's the worst You get the worst of both worlds Without the shades and the hair I can’t go anywhere I get the worst of both, girls Mix it all together Oh yeah It's so much awful cuz you know you've got the worst Of both worlds
108. Two Words(Note: Sung to the tune of Tarzan's "Two Worlds") Sung by Applejack It all started when Applejack left Ponyville to enter the Equestrian Rodeo in Canterlot. Plan was she'd win, and get the prize money to fix Ponyville Town Hall's roof. However, she never came back, forcing Twilight and the rest of her friends to look for her. Eventually, they found Applejack working on a cherry farm, but she refused to answer questions as to why. Left with no other alternative, her friends had to unleash their trump card: Pinkie. "...A cherrychanga is mashed up cherries in a tortilla that's deep fried. Cherrychanga. Great name, huh? Oh, but maybe I should call it a chimicherry. Ooh, that's good too. Which do you think sounds better? Cherrychanga or chimicherry? Or what if I combine them? Chimicherrychanga! What sounds the funniest? I like funny words! One of my favorite funny words is 'kumquat'! I didn't make that one up. I would work in a kumquat orchard just so I could say 'kumquat' all day! Kumquat, kumquat, kumquat! And 'pickle barrel'! Isn't that just the funnest thing to say? Pickle barrel, pickle barrel, pickle barrel! Say it with me! Pickle barrel, kumquat, pickle barrel, kumquat, pickle barrel, kumquat, chimicherrychanga!" Zip yer mouth and stop yer darn yammerin’ Two words, they are “SHUT UP”! Shut yer trap Stop talkin’ please, You grate mah nerves, eeyup Ah get a headache listening To things like kumquats and stuff Just go away, leave me in peace Zip yer mouth and stop yer darn chatterin’ Two words, they are “ZIP IT”! Shut yer trap Stop talkin’ please, Yer chattering’s the pits! Yer doin’ this to torture me Did the girls put yah up for this? Just go away, leave me in peace Just please shut up Ah have this load Ah’m busy, Ah don’t need you Can’t take no more Leave me alone What’s the deal in waiting? Be quiet, just try it here “No words” describe mah state of bliss “No words” would be real nice right now That dream is gone, but Ah can hope Zip yer mouth and stop yer blabberin’ Two words, they are “BE QUIET!” Shut yer trap Stop talkin’ please, I'm about to start a riot! "...Speaking of beans, did you ever realize how many words rhyme with 'beans'? Lean, mean, spleen, unclean, bean... " Author's Note As requested by Revenant Wings
113. I Won't Say (Derpy's Name)(Note: Sung to the tune of Hercules's "I Won't Say (I'm In Love))" Sung by Pinkie Pie Pinkie seems to be under the impression that Derpy Hooves has become totally different to the pony she initially remembered. Of course, nopony listened. I think her mentioning a race of strange people that monitor their every move and their angry bipedal parents didn't help her case. Whatever the case, Pinkie has to take care not to mention her name in view of these strange observers "to preserve the natural order". If there's a prize for rotten judgment, Moral guardians won that No mare is worth the aggravation That's ancient history Been there, done that Who d'you think you're kiddin'? They don’t name her to be meanies The real reason’s hidden The offenses meant are teeny Parents can’t conceal it Their over-reaction And what they're thinking of No chance, no way I won't say it, so wrong Say You-Know-Who Before a lawsuit comes on, Gets in our way I won't say Derpy’s name I just don’t know what went wrong right here It feels so good when it first aired Then there was lots of angry letters So to make sure all was spared (Ohhh...) There was controversy About wonky eyes and ditzy Least it didn’t get worse-y She’s in Season 4, still glitzy But a bunch of grown-ups Forced Hasbro to own up And change the whole scene like so No chance, no way I won't say it, no, no Got news for you It’s taboo, Derpy’s name They rue the day They can’t say Derpy’s name Got no choice, lose the voice And the name They're way off base, I won't say it Get off their case, I won't say it Like Voldemort It's okay, Derpy’s name Ohhh... At least out loud, I won't say Derpy’s name Sha-la-la-la la la, ahh Author's Note As requested by Revenant Wings
117. Making Us Think She's Dead(Note: Sung to the tune of Alice In Wonderland's "Painting The Roses Red") Sung by Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy It all started when Fluttershy was visiting Canterlot Castle with her friends to visit Princess Celestia. It was then that Fluttershy saw a very sickly bird (Princess Celestia's own pet Philomena) and decided to nurse it back to health. It proved to be a very difficult patient, and it only got worse. Then it suddenly burst into flames and turned into a pile of ash. Of course, both Fluttrshy and Twilight Sparkle thought that they had killed it. Until Princess Celestia caught up with them, and the bird (who happened to be an immortal phoenix) sprung back to life. It turned out it was going t get better anyway, but it decided to mess with their heads for cheap giggles. Twilight and Fluttershy both reached the same conclusion together: Philomena is a jerk. Making us think she’s dead Was making us think she’s dead That dumb phoenix Pulled out the tricks Fluttershy lost her head By making us think she’s dead By making us think she’s dead Oh, making us think she’s dead And many a tear we shed But then and there, And with a flare Burst into flames instead Suddenly a flash of red Making us think she’s dead Making us think she’s dead She’s making us think she’s dead What’s that, you say? ‘But, anyway, Why did we think she’s dead?’ “Huh? Oh! Well, the fact is, pal We didn’t know she was a phoenix, Or...” That she could be not dead And be reborn instead, So basically She pranked us, see To see where it all led That bird is a jerk, my friend By making us think she’s dead Making us think she’s dead She’s making us think she’s dead She ignored us, Fluttershy’s fuss To get a cheap laugh said Just by making us think she’s dead Yes, making us think she’s dead That bird’s A punk That re-birthing junk By making us think she’s dead! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123.
118. Goner To Us All(Note: Sung to the tune of Mulan's "Honour To Us All") Sung by Bon-Bon When Bon-Bon's best friend Lyra Heartstrings suddenly announced she would leave Ponyville to search for the elusive human species, Bon-Bon had only one thought as the green unicorn left the house with her luggage and skipped off. "We will never see Lyra again," Bon-Bon remarked drily, knowing that Lyra would probably come back the next day, having suddenly realised she missed the earth pony's sweets. Or forgot to pack her toothbrush. This is what I have to live with? Well, honey, I've seen worse. When she comes back all depends On bits in the purse. Can she afford the train? Did she pack an umbrella for the rain? Don’t think she won’t come back again; That she’s a goner to us all. Wait and see, she’ll be back Because of something she forgot to pack. She won’t find a hint of human tracks She’s no goner to us all. She’ll be back in five minutes Or at most, one whole day. Lyra’s no Daring Do She’ll lose focus on the way. I hope she finds “proof” real soon Here in Ponyville so she’s back by noon. She won’t mount a trip to the moon She’s no goner to us all. She once found human footprints It kept her in the house Some tracks circling the garden, Or somewhere thereabouts. Turned out that it’s a hoax Discord had made them just for jokes To confuse archeologist blokes Just to drive us up the wall. Still she keeps on pressing, She must proudly show it The proof that humans do exist And tell folks “don’t you know it!” Celestia, hear my plea Don’t want to get out the house, you see: Go and rescue her from up a tree Again preventing her fall. Scarier than the anaconda Is finding out where she has wandered! Well at least I will say She’s forgotten something along the way That the train station is closed today They’re not taking your toll. She’s no goner to us She’s no goner to us She’s no goner to us She’s no goner to us She’s no goner to us all!
121. Maud Helps Them Out Back(Note: Sung to the tune of The Hunchback Of Notre Dame's "God Help The Outcasts") Sung by Maud Pie Maud's typical day as a rock farmer may not be the most exciting thing in the world, but it pays the bills. Why does her family farm rocks, you may ask? Well, the answer is simple. They farm rocks since rocks can't farm themselves. I don't know if you can get this Why we farm lumps of stone It's totally serious business What we do alone Yes, the art and subtle science Of grinding sand just right The exact measurements of quartz... And move rubble out of sight! Maud helps them out back Trimming the rocks Til late that evening Keeping to the clock Maud helps the family Watering the grit Maud helps them out back Just earning the bits It's a rock farm Not a quarry The two are totally different to me Cos does a quarry breed boulders? All the best breeding rocks on my shoulder here Feeding the rock slabs I can get by Tell the stonemasons Delivery's come by We sell pet rocks for The poor and downtrod A day in the life Of farmpony Maud Maud helps them out back Farmpony Maud Author's Note As requested by Revenant Wings. Practice for Chapter 74 applies here too.
123. The Beautiful Spiny Beasts(Note: Sung to the tune of Bedknobs and Broomsticks's "The Beautiful Briny Sea") Sung by Fluttershy Nature is disgusting yet fascinating. Fluttershy is certainly not a fan of gratuitous murder by any stretch, but she can certainly appreciate the ways animals hunt or defend themselves. She may even, dare I say it, lecture you on the way starfish feed by throwing up their stomach at unsuspecting fish and then digest them for several days. Nature. Truly fascinating. How pleasant, watching along Watching critters and all the rest of the beautiful spiny beasts What a chance to get a better peep At nasty nature at its most deep I love Parasitic wasps and doves All day I could watch swimming stingrays It's lovely, tagging along Watching critters and all the rest of the beautiful spiny beasts Portuguese Mare o' wars The stings attacks your lungs And hearts malfunction Don't worry, you won't die Nature is great! Reiterate: I'll sing about all the beautiful spiny beasts Look! How pleasant, watching along Watching critters and all the rest of the beautiful spiny beasts Fulmar gull chicks vomit, believe me, That's how it keeps out the enemies It's grand Komodo Dragons on sand Their bite Infects wounds, and then you die! It's lovely, watching along Watching a cowfish make toxins that kill all the fish swimmingly Kangaroo defence Jumping into water pools Then they drown their foes You must admit that's cool Nature is great! Reiterate: I'll sing about all the beautiful spiny beasts Skipping along, singing a song Praise be to all of the beautiful spiny Venomous, spiny, beautiful spiny beasts Author's Note Dedicated to all animals that can kill in extremely odd and needlessly cruel ways. I love you all.
124. Found Her Rambling Spree(Note: Sung to the tune of The Tigger Movie's "Round My Family Tree") Sung by Rainbow Dash If ever Twilight Sparkle wishes to show you a brand new discovery she made, it would probably be wise to either preemptively silence her or tell her you "don't speak egghead" as Rainbow Dash would say Never let Twilight Sparkle get carried away. EVER. Or you will be unable to leave for hours. There's magic theories and physics theories And theories I never knew Like nature theories and some maths theories Conspiracy theories too Biology theories Inductive theories Please can I go home now? Need to floss my otter And go rearrange some cows Found, found her rambling spree I know they're not good excuses, see Found, found her rambling spree I am a confused pony There's sprees of chemistry theories History theories by the ton There's overwhelmin' great great molecular theories Why can she not stop at one!? There's skinny-little, tiny-little, small logic theories Quantum physics theories too I don't understand them And I don't wish that I knew Found, found her rambling spree I just took some science to the knee Found, found her rambling spree I am a confused pony Found her rambling spree I am a confused pony The first-est most sign of a rambling spree An announcement of discovery Of the greatest, longest, strangest finding You'd ever care to see But if you care to listen you can't afford to miss 'em Cos then she will always ask If you've actually been paying attention while staying Dozing off ain't no task! There were big motion theories, evolution theories And theories of worldly acclaim There were glorious, fantasmagorious theories That I do not care to explain There's the arduous time and the disciple's rhyme Of her tedious rambling spree And when she starts explaining, I start begging to be free! Found, found her rambling spree Nowhere to hide from Twilight, or flee Found, found her rambling spree I am a confused pony There's magic theories and physics theories And theories I never knew Like nature theories and some maths theories Conspiracy theories too And when those theories all get together Twilight just has a ball! Confusing-est, boring-est, talking-est, tedious Most brain exploding-est egghead lecture of all! Everypony brace - science coming at you! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123.
127. Pinkie's Spittling Song(Note: Sung to the tune of Snow White And The Seven Dwarves's "The Dwarfs' Washing Song") Sung by Pinkie Pie Poison joke is a type of flower that only grows in the Everfree Forest. Or at least, that's the only place in Equestria where there is any, as far as anypony is aware. Physical contact with the plant causes amusing, yet extremely inconvenient symptoms within hours. Symptoms vary from pony to pony, although bizarrely it is always a symptom that provides the greatest inconvenience. For example, Pinkie Pie, a mare that finds it hard to stop talking, was rendered unable to speak after her tongue swelled up so much she could do little but blow raspberries to talk. She described it later as the worst time of her life. It probably wasn't, but that's not what's important here. Bed of Poison Joke It's no fun at all My tongue swelled right up Hitting my mouth's wall Couldn't yodel or whistle Even do a cat-call Just go "Thrp-ubbbl-bbul-bpl-plb-hptl thrp-thpl-thrp-blpl?" Rainbow Dash's wings Got turned upside-down And Rarity's locks Were the talk of the town (Just not in a good way) And this party clown Was like "Thrp-ubbbl-bbul-bpl-plb-hptl thrp-thpl-thrp-blpl!" Twilight Flopple Appletini Don't get me started on Flutterguy please But spitting and rasping was the worst trick It also doesn't sound hygienic...! I think that I drooled On the library floor If Twilight saw that She'd show me the door! But I couldn't protest Never happened before, Sayin' "Thrp-ubbbl-bbul-bpl-plb-hptl thrp-thpl-thrp-blpl...!" But lucky for us A spa bath was made That used special herbs The Joke starts to fade Well thank goodness for that I can talk all the day Sayin' "Oh, my gosh! I never realized how horrible it is not to be able to talk. I mean, I love talking so much, and when I couldn't talk anymore, my tongue was all 'ehhhh'! It was the worst! Don't you agree, Fluttershy?" Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123.
128. My Crown(Note: Sung to the tune of Cars's "Our Town") Sung by Sunset Shimmer Sunset Shimmer was the student to Princess Celestia before Twilight Sparkle. She was brilliant, but arrogant, rude, impatient and really rather cruel. So the prospect of princess-dom largely eluded her; Sunset felt her mentor feared her power, but Princess Celestia actually felt she would never be ready. Not that it stopped her from entering an alternate world, establishing a hierarchy at a local high school, stealing the crown from Twilight after learning she was the new Princess, and basically attempting to ruin both worlds. If nothing else, that mare had ambition. Long ago, but not so very long ago, I was her student. Oh, yes I was. But Sun-butt flank, kept me down in rank out of sheer fear And you know by rights, it was my crown So I went to a world of walking apes For some reason I had clothes now, but what the hay! She should have seen it coming, when I plotted treason too With that crown, there's nothing I can't do! Pony ain't a pony anymore (Never studied biology or maths before) To tell the truth, all I thought about Was my crown. Then one day portal opens, just like it's done before. So skipping science homework for the day, I go back to Equestria, and unlock Twilight's door. And I steal her crown, and bolt home far away! Student ain't a student anymore With the Magic Element, they will know the score! It's hard to find a reason left to stay, I'll raise a teenage army all the way! With the power of my crown!
129. Inspection(Note: Sung to the tune of Mulan's "Reflection") Sung by Ms. Harshwhinny Ms. Harshwhinny was coming all the way to the Crystal Empire to review the facilities of the kingdom, to see whether or not it would be fit to host the illustrious Equestria Games. It was well-known that she was a mare who was incredibly difficult to please, and so everypony at the Crystal Empire were working as hard as they could to please. Even when she hadn't actually arrived yet; they had mistaken a rather befuddled tourist for Ms. Harshwinny and thought the chipper attitude was all an elaborate con...and all because her train was delayed. Look at me, I may never get on the train today, it is rather late now... Can it be, Are they hard at work right now? We will see, If hygiene and catering are top-notch, Or if I get a furrowed brow. What is that train I see, pulling right up near me? Why is my duel-carriage forty minutes late? Now if it were my job, I'd sack the lazy slobs! Maybe I should inspect trains (on the side), or wait? We're away, Now the time will come, When I see If the place meets expectations On that day, I'll discover if things are up to snuff, Can they do the Empire proud? There's marks for food and drink, Equipment, and I think, There's guest accommodations, And safety trust! Do they have what it takes to make it the best of all time? What will my inspection show? E.G Host, or bust? What will my inspection show? E.G Host, or bust? Author's Note And once again the well starts to run dry. Please throw any suggestions you may have at me. Preferably from different movies so that I can space them out and use earlier requests...kthx
132. Do I Want To Bill The Showmare?(Note: Sung to the tune of Frozen's "Do You Want To Build A Snowman?") Sung by Pony Joe and Trixie Chased out of Ponyville after being humiliated by Twilight Sparkle, Trixie fled to Canterlot and wound up at Pony Joe's Donut Shop, drowning out her sorrows in a massive sugar binge. Pony Joe tried to put up with her many I.O.U tabs as best he could out of pity (Trixie was flat-broke after bad turnout after bad turnout), but he felt that sometime, he had to put his hoof down. Do I want to bill the showmare? I guess she has to pay... You can't just mooch here anymore Get out the door, And send your tab my way! You've been here for like two weeks, You don't look hot, Don't hand me an I.O.U! Do I want to bill the showmare? Take money from a flat-broke showmare... "REVENGE WILL BE MINE!" Good for you... Do I want to bill the showmare? That's kicking her while she's still down... I know that all that dough is overdue, I dunno if I want to send her out of town... (What a dilemma.) Maybe a suggestion, Why not get a job, That'll make the hours tick by... (tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock) Please, I know you're listening I think you should go get employed, Then I can go take it right off the bill, You can't just stay until You waste away But how long will it take Before she finds some work Do I ask up front? Do I want to bill the showmare?
136. The Job Song(Note: Sung to the tune of Beauty And The Beast's "The Mob Song") Sung by Trixie Jobless and dirt-poor, Trixie was forced to look for any line of work available to make ends meet. She moved on from job to job due to her inflated ego and sense of entitlement that pretty much defined The Great And Powerful Trixie, before finally finding employment at a rock farm, where there were precisely zero customers to offend. At least her resume was nice and full. Unemployed and homeless too Working shifts all day and night The Great And Powerful Trixie A mere grunt in pony's sight! But til the rumors go away I will rebuild once again Trixie Lulamoon will make quite sure That it's not 'if' it's 'when'! Now behold! Watch me go! Trixie's now a sandwich maker Peanut butter, that's my favorite, certified! Eat one bite, and you might Never ever have any other You can be like just like Trixie if you tried! Am I fired!? What a joke, what a great farce! No-one gets that my best will all fit! Hear Trixie! It's your loss! You can't fire me because I resign! Yes, resign! Cos I quit! Now Trixie's a tailor! Just watch Trixie make an outfit there! I'm using scissors to make matching hats! And a cape goes with those Yes, this fashion statement's perfect Now YOU can be like Trixie, just like that! Am I fired!? But Trixie don't understand Just who wouldn't want to be like Trixie? Well that's fine! Kiss my flank! Cos this place totally stank! Didn't get a word of thanks! I'll find somewhere who appreciates my genius! I don't like What I don't understand It just scares Trixie Being a bartender and listening to half-wits Good riddance! You all stink! Why should I care what you think? Hope your business totally sinks Because I quit! Burning toast! Burning shake! Fast-food isn't right for Trixie Neither is selling doors door-to-door for bits Come on guys! All I want Is an audience to flaunt Right in front of, but I can't And so I quit! Cos I quit! x7
138. Glazed-Over Eyes(Note: Sung to the tune of Brother Bear's "Look Through My Eyes") Sung by Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash As Zecora offered the mysterious potion to Twilight Sparkle, Twilight activated her unique unicorn magic to give the potion potency, and took a sip. From the perspective of her friends, this had the rather startling effect of causing Twilight to suddenly start spasming and yelling, then dramatically bursting into tears before finally having her eyes suddenly glaze over. Discord found it to be extremely entertaining, watching the first-timers get hit with their first dose of flashback potion. Well, you started shaking first and Oh, in time you see Cause somehow, someway You went loco Then you started yelling 'Bout Princess Luna Clearly not all right It was surreal We were there watching you freak out You got the glazed-over eyes In another place Somewhere out there You got the glazed-over eyes Everything's crazy Don't wanna know what you'll find Looking through the glazed-over eyes There were some times in that episode When ya started shaking Then ya suddenly came over blubberin' Wouldn't stop yer cryin' Discord just said, "Meh, She will be all right." He offered me Some popcorn when your tears dried up Ya got the glazed-over eyes In another place Somewhere out there You got the glazed-over eyes Everything's crazy Don't wanna know what you'll find Through your glazed-over eyes Then you fell right on your back Started flailing all o' yer legs Mumbling something about Elements of Harmony Ya got the glazed-over eyes In your drugged-up state, some clarity When ya suddenly realized It was a flashback Must've seen some crazy stuff Ya got glazed-over eyes You got glazed-over eyes Author's Note As requested by hamcon.
142. Always Pwned(Note: Sung to the tune of Oz: The Great And Powerful's "Almost Home") Sung by Pinkie Pie Twilight only had herself to blame for not listening to Pinkie. When Pinkie says that something's going to happen, you'd better pay attention. Otherwise Twilight could have avoided that anvil falling from the sky, or falling down the stairs into Applejack's basement or somepony slamming her door into the wall and flattening her... Hey, hey..... You're always pwned You're always pwned You're always pwned I feel the twitch in my tail And my mane's acting up again And that means Twilight just fell in a hole I've held hope that she'd take heed That there would be another chance She'd believe me, and not walk into a pole 'Cause behind disbelief there's something greater than you know Because fate ain't fair And she's always pwned Just watch that falling piano go, go When you're always there, always pwned When you've broken bones She's always pwned Please just run, run so far Or you'll get hit by a car Twilight thinks I'm from some other universe I couldn't push her out the way Of fifteen falling bales of hay Wrong is right, right is left And there's nowhere left to turn My Sense can pick up anything You think, you think you know Because fate ain't fair And she's always pwned Just watch that falling anvil go, go When you're always there, always pwned When you've broken bones She's always pwned When you approach this with open minds You'll spare yourself becoming woozy If you paid attention to this doozy At Froggy Bottom Bog Oh, Because fate ain't fair And she's always pwned Just watch that falling brick bag go, go When you're always there, always pwned When you've broken bones She's always pwned Because fate ain't fair And she's always pwned Just watch that falling plant pot go, go When you're always there, always pwned When you've broken bones She's always pwned
148. Lack Of Explorations(Note: Sung to the tune of The Fox And The Hound's "Lack Of Education") Sung by Daring Do A.K Yearling sat at home, under the worst fear of any writer: writer's block. It was the vacation period, and there were a rather disturbing lack of any ruins with needlessly elaborate and lethal traps for her to explore lately. It was BORING. And having a publisher to appease doesn't help either. Now, if I'm so awesome and I'm famous as well, Then why is there no news of ruins I smell? I'm bored out my senses Publishers will give me...heck Got no imagination! Lack of exploration! I got writer's block hanging like a rock I stink at real fiction writing Every book that I pen, Change the name and then Story of my life It's all true, even the fighting! Now, all I got left are these puzzle maps. But just these aren't enough to make books or scraps! I miss Ahuizotl And his set-up traps... I got no imagination! Lack of exploration! You better believe it, dude! Yessiree!
152. That's What Pens Are For(Note: Sung to the tune of The Jungle Book's "That's What Friends Are For") Sung by Rarity The post office has officially gone on Rarity's list of enemies. For you see, the last time she was there to pick up a package, she had to wait in line with no air conditioning, there was a crying foal the entire time, and the only pen at the desk was being used by somepony Rarity swore was writing a novel rather than signing any paperwork. "WHY AREN'T THERE MORE PENS!? TELL ME!" Y NO PENS!? Y NO PENS!? Y NO PENS ON THE COUNTER'S END!? (the counter's end) The post office (the post office) Is hot and stinks! (is hot and stinks) It is the worst (It is the worst) Possible thing! (possible thing) And WHY THE HAY ARE THERE NO PENS When a line's reaching the door!? That's what pens are for! There are SIX counters at the desk With naught to scrawl That's what pens are for! And when a foal is bawling I'm Hating some guy for wasting time I just wanted my package And then LEAVE this place I'm never coming back, I'd rather spray my eyes with mace! (Eyes with mace) The line was long It was too hot A foal did scream And there was not Another pen With which to write the final score! DON'T THEY KNOW WHAT PENS ARE FOR!? Author's Note Can you tell what I've been watching recently?
153. Nothing In The World (Was Learnt Today)(Note: Sung to the tune of Aladdin II: The Return Of Jafar's "Nothing In The World (Quite Like A Friend)") Sung by Applejack "Dear Princess Celestia, Ah wanted to share mah thoughts with you. Ah didn't learn anythin'! Ah was right all along!" And with that, Applejack left a very confused Spike holding the quill and scroll in his scaly hand and went off to drink more cider. Twilight made Applejack amend the letter later. Dear Princess Celestia, Ah'm writing to say That Ah didn't learn anything important today! And Ah don't give a fig about tact anyway, Cos Ah'll just drink the day away, Git 'er down! Might be the cider talkin', but I feel just great! We didn't lose the farm and Ah simply can't wait To read 'bout how the Flim-Flam Bros messed up so late And sealed their lyin' no-good fate! Uh huh! Knew all along Ah was totally right Now was there any doubt? Celebratin' through the night As much as Ah like to chat, Ah can't stay Because nothing in the world was learnt today! Dunno if Twilight Sparkle will be cheesed or not, Ah'm sure she'll send apologies and Ah mean lots Ah still think it was worth, Ah don't care 'bout what Consequences that Ah had got! (Oh no!) Ah'm sure Ah'll get a lecture on the royal fare How Ah wouldn't be laughin' if Ah lost with flair But then, the cider's helpin' me to just not care Ah'll get a refill, just wait there... (Hic!) Ah was right, the cheap 'n easy route don't matter, Ah was right, the lazy way just ain't cool Ah was right, If yah took time to put some effort out there Once you get caught you won't feel like a fool! Sure, I COULD say, My friends are my light, Well, Ah knew that also And so Ah cannot write 'Bout my friends who had mah back while in the fray, Because nothing in the world was learnt today! Yup, nothing in the world Nothing in the whole wide world Oh yes, nothing in the world was learnt today! Nothin' in the whole wide world
154. Drink A Smoothie(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King 1 1/2's "Digga Tunnah") Sung by Lyra Heartstrings Lyra sat down, sipping a hay smoothie, and watched as the magic duel between Trixie and Twilight Sparkle unfolded. This was a matter of honor, as the loser would be unceremoniously kicked out of town, seemingly forever. So, just another incident in a series of many, she thought as she went back to her smoothie. What was that? What was what? What was that? What was that? Where? What? Where? Where? What was that? Shhh... Please don't interrupt my smoothie break! Please! Drink a smoothie, Drink, drink a smoothie. When I'm done, I drink another smoothie. Drink a smoothie, Drink, drink a smoothie. I would like to finish this first, Please! Drink a smoothie, Drink, drink a smoothie. Magic duel going on right now? Drink a smoothie, Drink, drink a smoothie. Yeah, that's nice. And this concerns hay smoothies, how? Nah! Drinkin' smoothies is what I do. Hay Mix smoothie, or maybe two. Big incidents are going down. Big incidents aren't new round town, Until this all blows over soon, I'll sip my drink from dusk til noon, Oh, looks like Twilight's got work cut out, Well, hallelujah, let's sing and shout! ...Meh. Drink a smoothie, Drink, drink a smoothie. Magic duel going on right now? Drink a smoothie, Drink, drink a smoothie. Yeah, that's nice. And this concerns hay smoothies, how? Nah! Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123. Smoothie Lyra Don't Care
157. Not On The Bus(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride's "Not One Of Us") Sung by Octavia Elsewhere, in the world of humans, Octavia wasn't happy with Vinyl Scratch's apparent lack of manners while going out together. Particularly when riding a bus to a posh event like the Canterlot High Fall Formal. Vinyl just blew her off with "What are you, my mother?", but she was determined to make SOMETHING stick. Disgusting, Disgrace You've got some mayonnaise right on your face Disgusting An outrage! Disgrace I moan! Straighten your back please, since you're not at home! Turn that music down! Disgusting An outrage! Disgrace I moan! Show manners outside the house! You've got some mayonnaise right on your face! Tuck your shirt in, it won't hurt it! And leave that alone! Disgusting An outrage! Disgrace I moan! Refrain from picking your nose! Straighten your back please, since you're not at home! Tuck your shirt in, it won't hurt it! Watch the disks Move your kit Other people want to sit Freshen up? Here, use mine My compact mirror But please do it on time Stop pouting, not on the bus Don't embarrass me on the bus While we're riding the bus Please do mind The other passengers Cause they're not so blind They're all staring at what you had done Your tardiness is plain to see on the bus Please don't, not on the bus Disgusting, Disgrace Disgusting, Disgrace Disgusting Author's Note As requested by Ugly-Duckling123.
162. Stolen Stuff(Note: Sung to the tune of Frozen's "Frozen Heart") Sung by Rarity Twilight watched Rarity swoon in typically dramatic fashion, lamenting the moment she became...a victim. A tragic, TRAGIC victim. "Woe is me! I shall never recover from this injury that has been wrought upon me!" "...English, Rarity," Twilight said, dryly. Rarity sighed. "I was in the zone, Twilight. But, if I must." Last night I was stolen from While all the time I'm sleeping I simply cannot just stay calm! My things that were worth keeping! The indignity, cold and clear Both of them taken from here What's become of them? Oh dear Capture's not enough! Get back my stolen stuff! Hyup! What!? Both of them! Just like that! Hyup! What!? BOTH of them! Just like that! Scandalous! Horrible! Worst. Possible! Thing! It was just tragic, feeling the sting. It's worse than one! It's worse than ten! Hundred Bluebloods yet again! Yes! Last night I was stolen from While all the time I'm sleeping I simply cannot just stay calm! My things that were worth keeping! Indignity, loud and clear What has happened's what I fear! Opal and True Blue's gone from here Things have gotten rough! Get back my stolen stuff! "Uh...who?" Twilight asked.
163. A Pilot's Life For Me(Note: Sung to the tune of Pirates Of The Caribbean's "A Pirate's Life For Me") Sung by Rainbow Dash Ever since she was a little girl, all Rainbow Dash ever wanted was to become part of the Wonderbolts. She wanted her very own plane to just go fast and perform the greatest aerial stunts that you ever saw with her idols. If she ever met her pony counterpart, she'd be insanely jealous over the fact she doesn't NEED a plane to fly. Or be limited to just Mach 2.8 speeds. Heave ho, heave ho, a pilot's life for me! I'll soon be joining the Wonderbolt team, I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! I'll make it through high school and get a degree, I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! Heave ho, heave ho, a pilot's life for me! I'll fly in formation at Mach 2.8, I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! A new pilot's license will soon be my fate! I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! Heave ho, heave ho, a pilot's life for me! The sports club's my ticket through fitness exam, I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! A helix and barrel-roll with glitz and glam! I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! Be the very best like no-one ever was! I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! The queues will be long to watch planes flown by us! I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! Get on the team even if I must use force, I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! But I'll still give out discounts for friends of course! I'll soon be flyin', uh huh! Heave ho, heave ho, a pilot's life for me! Author's Note As requested by deathtap.
167. Let Them Be Food To You(Note: Sung to the tune of The Great Mouse Detective's "Let Me Be Good To You") Sung by Trixie When Sunset Shimmer took the Element of Magic and transformed into a raging she-demon, some acted bravely. Upon spying the monstrous form terrorizing Canterlot High, Trixie BRAVELY decided to throw her classmates under the bus. Darkest fiend, unholy girl Listen to my song Don't eat me, I have to live Still have a life long Let me bring you here An offering dear Hey, Sunset I still have friends Get ready Eat them instead Gobble my classmates first in a stew Let them be food to you Cos Trixie Has not got much to spare Too stringy I've only got crackers on me Not much to see Accept this Here sacrifice I do hope This satisfies Brought all the students I could Let them be food to you Hey, Sunset I'll bring some freshmen too Hey, Sunset There's nothin' I won't do Just for you So make sure You don't eat me Get cozy Just leave me be Hey girl, I'm talkin' to you I hope your mercy shows through Let them be food to you Yeah! Author's Note As requested by deathtap.
170. Run-For-It-Ivity(Note: Sung to the tune of So Dear To My Heart's "Stick-To-It-Ivity") Sung by Flim and Flam Flim and Flam glanced at each other, and the growing crowd of angry ponies that they had conned out of their money. Only one thing was left: the routine procedure that both brothers had become accustomed to. Make like a tree and get outta here. Bing bang zam. Hey, hey there, don't tell me they turned on us Now, where there's a will, there's a way to do it But, we'll never escape if we don't stick to it Now, let us make like anti aging cream and vanish right now We're not welcome here, let's go 'fore we get in a row Now, our latest invention, we sold to these chumps Just pieces of junk we found in the dumps Studied how the suckers think, had it down pat Said, "We're gonna sell all the snake-oil, stat!" Because they thought that they worked All of Manehatten, the berks, Gave us their cash like One, two, three Now, the crowds are kinda angry, they beat our sail Like a hurricane, a furious gale Should we be lingering, wait on the spot? Don't know 'bout you Flim, but I think not! On this eventful day, we should both run away! Why, I say, "Run-for-it-ivity If you've got that stuff called Run-for-it-ivity We gotta split, just go!" All of our earned money gonna get refunded Run-for-it-ivity means we keep the dough! Yes siree (Yes siree) Yes siree (Yes siree) You spot your chance, take the opportunity By applyin' Run-for-it-ivity If you've got that stuff called Run-for-it-ivity And keep your head down low (Land Ho, Land Ho) We're be alright, we know Now, don't think these ponies are the only ones Who we both swindled outta their sums Yes, Flim and Flam, made our pitch Left others in the ditch! Now, torch and pitchforks handed 'round Mob forming up tight Staring angrily to start up a fight Twice he came to visit, twice we duped the town Sold a useless product by sundown We thought "Maybe, they're not dumb, Surely somepony remembers who the two of us are!" Apparently, they don't, lucky us, idiots. Ponies kept a-buyin', buyin' all our stuff Before they realized it's a load of duff Now they're really angry, Flam, it's time to scram Moving to the next town for our scam On this eventful day, we should both run away! Says I, "Brother of mine, Run-for-it-ivity If you've got that stuff called Run-for-it-ivity We gotta split, just go! All of our earned money gonna get refunded Run-for-it-ivity means we keep the dough! Yes siree (Yes siree) Yes siree (Yes siree) You spot your chance, take the opportunity By applyin' Run-for-it-ivity If you've got that stuff called Run-for-it-ivity And keep your head down low (Land Ho, Land Ho) We're be alright, we know (Yes, siree, yes, siree) (You spot your chance, take the opportunity ) (By applyin' Run-for-it-ivity ) (If you've got that stuff called Run-for-it-ivity ) (We're be alright, we know) (We're be alright, we know)
172. Something Cares(Note: Sung to the tune of Beauty And The Beast's "Something There") Sung by Queen Chrysalis and The Cute Citizens of Wuvy-Dovey Land Dramatically banished from Canterlot after the Royal Wedding invasion failed, Queen Chrysalis and the rest of the Changeling Army crashed into what appeared to be a rather small village. Just then, a small cat-like creature that oozed 'obnoxiously cute' at first glance happily welcomed them into the village with a cupcake. The changelings found it rather bewildering that they would welcome clearly dangerous creatures like them so openly. But, well, Chrysalis isn't daft enough to pass up a good thing. Walking buffets for everyone, she declared! They're rather sweet And very kind There's lots of love to go around on which we'll dine They're not too bright, of that I'm sure I wonder why we didn't find this place before? They came this way Something we saw They sucked us dry and left us shaking on the floor? No it can't be, I'll just ignore Because we've never seen these new best friends before! They're really stupid, golly Who'd have ever thought that this could be? They're walking dinner trolleys We're sucking their love and they simply do not see Well, who'd have thought? (I think they are) Not that I care... (Too dumb to live) We should throw them a welcome party in the square! Good grief, they're stupid! We'll wait and see, a few days more At least while something cares, we won't starve like before At least while something cares, we won't starve like before At least while something cares, we won't starve like before Author's Note Based on the comics.
174. Seize The Mare(Note: Sung to the tune of Newsie's "Seize The Day") Sung by Rarity Rarity knew Rainbow Dash was hardly the embodiment of ladylike, but was it REALLY too much to ask to stop and help her up as she fell out of the cart chasing after Applejack at Dodge Junction? As she cranked the handle of the hoofcar with Pinkie Pie, who wouldn't shut up about chimmycherrychangas, Rarity was sure of one thing. She would not be held responsible for her actions next time she met Rainbow Dash. When I get home I'll seize that mare I'll bring the pain on her everywhere Pinkie, stop talking Silence that squawking Rainbow Dash will pay When I get home someday When I get home I'll seize that mare She always flies so she won't care If her legs are broken Thus I have spoken I shall seize the mare She's gonna get it, seize the mare How could I know that she'd go there? Proud and defiant I'll punch the giant I shall seize the mare Lady to ruffian Pony to cur I'll kick the lesson into her When I get home I'll seize that mare I'll bring the pain on her everywhere Pinkie, stop talking Silence that squawking Rainbow Dash will pay Lady to ruffian Pony to cur I'll kick the lesson into her
178. Into The Open Street(Note: Sung to the tune of Brave's "Into The Open Air") Sung by Berry Punch Berry Punch checked her situation. Nope, the last of the Sugar Punch from last night HAD left her system. Her face fell. That meant that Big Macintosh really WAS dragging her house across Ponyville in a Love Poison-fueled fit of madness. And that she'd have to explain to the mailmare the next day why she didn't live at Number 42 anymore. This road, it is a distant trot, because my home being dragged round a lot! This house it is a moving log, dragging a mark on the road where it slogs. I tried to shout to the guy in front, but each word I spoke only met with grunts! Could these walls come crumbling down? The frames on my wall fell to the ground, My home insurance won't cover these, Dragged into the open street! And now I need a good hard drink, What I've just tasted should do it, I think... How will it feel when the mail comes in? I won't live at number forty-two again! Some mad farmpony dragged my home, The bricks and mortar and all the chrome. How'd he carry this with naught but feet, Into the open street? Into the open street (into the open street). Into the open street. This house it is a moving log. Author's Note As requested by Flightning. No wonder the poor mare drinks so much.
183. She's A Temp(Note: Sung to the tune of Lady And The Tramp's "He's A Tramp") Sung by Fluttershy "We'll be alright. We even have a replacement." Those words didn't fill Rainbow Dash with confidence, as she looked at the pony filling in for her position on the Ponyville Equestrian Games team. A grey mare with a goofy smile and eyes that don't look the same way don't exactly exude "Ace". She's a temp, ba boom boom But we need her She's the only Spare for us She's a temp That we found here And I only hope She'll care for us She's a temp She's the filler She's our only Substitute She's a temp But she's nowhere Near your own skill At least she's pretty cute... Twilight Sparkle says That without you Our odds drop By sixty percent And so we asked for Decent fliers But the mailmare was What they sent She's a temp The spare Rainbow And there's nothing More to say If she's a temp Not a good one And I wish that you Could come back our way Could come back our way Could come back our way Could come back our way
184. At The Stall(Note: Sung to the tune of Cinderalla III: A Twist In Time's "At The Ball") Sung by Pinkie Pie and Crafty Crate Haggling at the market for cherries is a battle of wits. Some, like Rarity, try the negotiator's path on settling for the most reasonable deal for both. Others, like Rainbow Dash, would rather pay the cheapest price and find out who's patience runs out first. And when all else fails, there's always the Pinkie-approved method of reverse-psychology-except-not-really. I am trying to pay a very normal fee Normal fee? Two bits per cherry is daylight robbery! Not to me! Well, I say one bit per cherry, that's as much you'll get from me They cost half the price elsewhere, would you agree? I don't agree! At the stall At the stall At the stall Down at the stall We are haggling over cherries at the stall I'm not budging from my stance of fourteen bits Fourteen bits I'm not paying twenty eight and call it quits Call it quits Cos I know that in Canterlot you get them for half the price It's the same story for sprouts and peas and rice Not right! Cos at the stall At the stall At the stall Down at the stall We are haggling over cherries at the stall So what I'm saying is that fourteen's where I stand Where you stand It's the most reasonable deal in the land! Twenty eight and that's final! Well I think that price is crazy and you think I'm dumb as wood Cos the price you ask is clearly just no good! Just no good!? I'll pay fourteen Twenty eight! Twenty eight! It's fourteen! Twenty eight or none at all! But it's fourteen, if you recall! Okay then! Deal! Fourteen it is! We've overcome the wall! Well I'm glad it all got settled at the stall! Oh wait. Crud.
188. Whine, Whine, Whine(Note: Sung to the tune of Pocahontas's "Mine, Mine, Mine") Sung by Rarity, Spike and the Diamond Dogs Spike ran back to Ponyville in a panic and just about relayed that Rarity had been kidnapped by Diamond Dogs to the others. And so, the remaining 5 friends hurried to the mines to rescue the surely helpless hostage. The reality couldn't be more different. You ruffians and brutes You thuggish marenappers You three are in cahoots Your clothes just aren't dapper Oh I am not whining Complaints' what they are But...I will 'til my throat's sore, boys Watch what you wish for, boys WHINE, BOYS, WHINES THAT SHAKE MOUNTAINS TOO TIGHT, BOYS, IT'S GONNA CHAFE MAKE IT LOOSE, BOYS! Truce, boys? HARNESS TOO RUSTY! THE WAGON'S TOO DUSTY! I'LL SEND SHIVERS RIGHT DOWN YOUR SPINE! I'll screech and I'll whine, whine, whine No! Shut up! Shut up! Stop whining there! No! Shut up! Shut up! Stop whining there! Hey nonny nonny Ho nonny nonny CAN YOU NOT LOOSEN IT? Hey nonny nonny Ho nonny nonny IT DIGS IN MY SIDE! Hey nonny nonny Ho nonny nonny TAKE TIME TO SPRUCE UP IT... And I'll keep it up if you've lied! All my friends back home It's not that I'm bitter I find it amusing To make these jerks quitters! I'll break their resolve And go home with some glitter I'm not in a hurry Despite all their worry! I'll WHINE, WHINE, WHINE 'TIL YOU'RE SORRY I'LL WHINE, BOYS DON'T WANNA PULL THAT! IT'S DIRTY AS SIN... CLEAN UP OR I'LL LOSE IT! WHY DON'T YOU DOLTS CHOOSE IT? (Should I stop and draw up a line?) Nah, I think that I'll just WHINE! No! Shut up! Shut up! Stop whining there! No! Shut up! Shut up! Stop whining there! Hurry up girls, Rarity got stolen By villains! Got dragged down a series of tunnels I couldn't design I'll charge down the deepest holes And I don't care, I'm willin'! A damsel in distress Who's under duress The greatest adventure is mine! I'M NOT WORKING, CADS SINCE YOU'RE SHIRKING, LADS WHINE, BOYS, WHINE I'LL WHINE 'TIL I DROP 'TIL THEN I WON'T STOP Gah,we want to cry! We want to up and die! Shut! Up! And get to work Shut! Up! Ow my ears... Shut your pie hole's My goal! YOU'VE GOT NO MANNERS AND BRAINS JUST LIKE SPANNERS This game is quite fun given time! Hold on, Rarity! Just listen to me I won't turn and flee! This charming lady Won't do as told I'll... WHINE! WHINE! WHINE! WHINE! She's not shutting up! Why'd we bring it here? Boy it hurts our ears! Kill those voices! Enough with those noises, don't Whine! No! Shut up! Shut up! Stop whining there! Hey nonny nonny nonny don't whine!
191. Up, Down, Blast The Ground(Note: Sung to the tune of Winnie The Pooh And The Honey Tree's "Up, Down, Touch The Ground") Sung by Applejack Applejack felt that there should probably be some context as to why Rainbow Dash was punching and kicking the barn to splinters when she arrived. "Yes, ma'am. I wanted to put up a new barn, but this one's gotta come down first." Up-straight-up She flies up, down, blasts the ground To tear the barn apart Up, down, blast the ground Finish what she start Bring the barn down, and Ah have found Speaking simple-like, She'll weapon-ise the Rainboom Finish in one strike "Now get to it, RD." "You got it boss!" Rainbow flapped her wings, and started to fly directly upwards. "Thank you. Now, where was Ah?" Oh, yes, I'm payin' for the strafin'. Time to duck down low. The old barn's spent, it's got some dents And so with all her might Fly up, down, take down Cos we don't have til tonight Flyin' up, down, smash the ground Take cover, if Ah were you (Mmm, she's reached maximum height) With a hefty-heavy Sonic-boom Send the barn off, toodle-oo. With a hefty-heavy Sonic-boom Send the barn off, toodle-oo. "Ah'd take cover if Ah were you," Applejack remarked to Twilight, adjusting her crash helmet and her internal earmuffs. Twilight glanced up, quickly spotted what was about to happen, and did exactly as Applejack advised, seconds before there was an almighty explosion of brightly coloured awesomeness eviscerating Applejack's old barn.
193. Punch The Spy(Note: Sung to the tune of Brave's "Touch The Sky") Sung by Rainbow Dash Was Twilight Sparkle a spy? Rainbow Dash didn't know for sure, but she figured roughing the newcomer Twilight Sparkle up a bit would get her to explain just what WERE the Elements of Harmony and how she knew so much about Nightmare Moon. When Nightmare Moon comes calling, and the sky is darkened black Twilight Sparkle knew it'd happen, and what will come back to back I will doubt, I will fly, chase the mare and punch the spy I will fly, chase the mare and punch the spy La la la la La la la la La la la la la la la La la la la La la la la La la la la la la la That new mare hides secrets, sounds like she's in league with her She has to be suspicious, of that I'm really sure She will tell us every story, and say what's going down Oh that's right, and most importantly, how do we go save the town I will doubt, I will fly, chase the mare and punch the spy I will fly, chase the mare and punch the spy And punch the spy, chase the mare Chase the mare, punch the spy La la la la La la la la La la la la la la la La la la la La la la la La la la la la la la And punch the spy Chase the mare Chase the mare Punch the spy Author's Note As requested by Flightning. I literally only need 5 or so new songs to use guys, seriously! I am this close to 200 now and I intend to get it DONE! Pitch what you can, just don't suggest "When Does My Life Begin" since I'm writing that up now.
196. Behind The Clowns(Note: Sung to the tune of Cars's "Behind The Clouds") Sung by Rainbow Dash Party Polka vs Party Cannon. Who would win in a fight to the ~~death~~ end? That was what was on everypony's mind as Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie Pie threw down to decide who would manage Rainbow Dash's birth-iversary. As judge, Rainbow reminded herself of the rules...in song, obviously. When I'm in hysterics, stunned with much mirth, Seems like the winner will celebrate my birth Feel free to joke and sing and dance Or even play or joke, perform or prance Behind the clowns, the goof off's starting soon Believe me, even I can't call who'll win the town Who has the most punch and pizzazz and boom? But there's a big fun prize waiting right behind the clowns I've heard it said that this Sandwich guy Good times or bad times, don't give up, but why? But thinking that Pinkie will back down and quit Is like thinking a candle won't snuff when it's even lit Behind the clowns, the goof off's starting soon Believe me, even I can't call who'll win the town Who has the most punch and pizzazz and boom? But there's a big fun prize waiting right behind the clowns Yeah, there's a big fun prize waiting right behind the clowns
198. I Want You All(Note: Sung to the tune of High School Musical 3: Senior Year's "I Want It All") Sung by Jim the Cave Troll Twilight certainly found the behaviour of the cave troll in front of them to be fascinating, as well as their size, which was apparently bigger than The Cave Dweller's Reference Guide said they were. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash would probably have agreed were it not for the fact they were being ponyhandled by a hulking grey monster that smelled really funny. IMAGINE HABIN' EVEWYFING I EBUR DWEAMED WHAT I NAME IT? F'WUFFY! HOW 'BOUT DIS ONE? IT'S GEORGE IMAGINE PWETAH PONAY IN MY CAVE HERE I GET DAH BWUSH! PWETAH PONAY? WELL OF COURSE YEAH PLEASE! I GOTTA HUG IT AND SQUEEZE IT I WIW TAKE CARE O' DEM WHILE STAYIN' IN MAH DEN! SOUND EXCITING? INVITING LET'S DO IT THEN KEEPING DEM! HAIR BWUSHY BWUSHY, PWETAH HAR ON PWETAH PONAY BUT WHERE DO I KEEP ALL DA PONAYS? RIGHT 'ER IN MAH CAVE! CALL THIS ONE FIWEFWY! COLLECT THE PONAYS THAT'S BETTAH JIM CAN SEE DAT BIGGAH IS BETTAH AND BETTAH IS BIGGAH A WIDDLE BIT IS NEVAH ENUF NO, NO, NO! DON'T I WANT YOU ALL! I HUG YA, AND SQUEEZE YA, CALL YOU GEORGE THE CUTE WIDDLE PONAYS AND MORE I WANT YOU ALL, I WANT YOU, YOU KNOW DAT I WANT YOU I KEEP YOU ALL LINED UP ON DA FLOOR I WANT PONAYS, NUFFIN LESS, PWETAH HAR COMBED AND PWESSED IT GET VEWY LONELY IN DA CAVE . SING IT! I WANT YOU ALL I WANT YOU, I WANT YOU, YEAH SIT ON DA SHEWF IN CAVERN WALLS I WANT YOU ALL! CAN'T YOU SEE IT YEAH I'M GONNA WUV YOU UH-HUH I MEAN DAT! COW PONAY, PINK PONAY, AND WHITE PONAY CALLED GEORGE FWIEND FOR JIM, DON'T STOP ME, I'M WON'T GIB UP DAH PONAYS FWIENDLY FACES, OF CUDDLY WACES CUDDLE DESE? YES PWEASE GONNA GIB DEM ALL A SQUEEZE! YA CAN WUN, BUT HEY, YA CAN'T WUN FWOM OLD JIMMAY YOU NOW MAH PONAY! I LIKE IT I KEEP YOU THEN I KNOW, BE CAREFUL, PONAYS, BE GENTLE DEY ONLY SMALL, SO JIM SHOULD WATCH OUT!! NEW BEST FWIEND? FINK BIGGAH WIDDLE PONAY FWIENDS.... DAT'S BETTAH! JIM CAN SEE DAT BIGGAH IS BETTAH AND BETTAH IS BIGGAH A WIDDLE BIT IS NEVAH ENUF NO, NO, NO! DON'T I WANT YOU ALL! I HUG YA, AND SQUEEZE YA, CALL YOU GEORGE THE CUTE WIDDLE PONAYS AND MORE I WANT YOU ALL, I WANT YOU, WANT YOU I KEEP YOU ALL LINED UP ON DA FLOOR I WANT PONAYS, NUFFIN LESS, PWETAH HAR COMBED AND PWESSED IT GET VEWY LONELY IN DA CAVE . I WANT YOU ALL! I WANT YOU, WANT YOU, WANT YOU, PURPLE ONE, BLUE ONE, PINK ONE'S SMALL I WANT YOU ALL!! HERE IN DA CAVE WHERE JIM LIVE, LOOK AT WHAT I HAVE WHEN PONAY FWIENDS AWWIVE, JIMMAY JUST HAD TO LAFF! YAY! I WANT YOU, I-I I WANT YOU, I WANT YOU, I WANT YOU, I-I, I WANT YOU, I WANT YOU, I WANT I-I I WANT YOU! THE CUTE WIDDLE PONAYS AND MORE I WANT YOU ALL, I WANT YOU, YOU KNOW DAT I WANT YOU I KEEP YOU ALL LINED UP ON DA FLOOR I WANT PONAYS, NUFFIN LESS, PWETAH HAR COMBED AND PWESSED IT GET VEWY LONELY IN DA CAVE . I WANT YOU ALL! PINK ONE! WHITE ONE! BLUE! PURPLE ONE! COW GIRL! YELLOW! EVEN SMALL ONES! BIG ONES! TALL ONES! FAT WOUND ONES! SKINNAY ONES! NO MATTAH WHAT!! I WANT YOU ALL!! Author's Note Based on the comics.
