The Plan, and Subsequent Pinkie
Warm, bright sunlight filtered through the sparse clouds that were left by the weather ponies to make sure the summer heat was somewhat staved off, and the slight breeze made the pathway ever so much more pleasant. As Gummy travelled along it, he couldn't help but reminisce about how alike this world was to his home planet, Earth. Alike for all but one thing.
The dang ponies.
Of all the aliens he had to be abducted by, why these garish pastel colored equines?! Oh, how he looked forward to when he could return to his native land tonight. If he were to make a list of the top 10 things he most wanted to do, going back to earth would be on it at least 13 times. That said, the desserts here are indescribably delicious. Just one cupcake almost puts you into a sugar high, and it has no sugar in it! They seemed magical, though from what else he had seen about Equestria that particular fact wouldn't be surprising. Slightly downtrodden, he plodded on down the path towards his destination.
"Hiya Gummy! Whatcha doin'?" Pinkie Pie popped suddenly from a mailbox right in front of the toothless baby alligator. If he had been anyone but who he was, he would have jumped back and yelped at the energetic party pony's antics. Luckily for him, he was the one being in the world who was himself, so he just stood and slowly blinked at her. "Aw dangit! Why won't you ever flinch when I jump out in front of you? Is it 'cause you don’t have ears? Or eyes? But it looks like you have some. Are you sick? Ohh if you're sick then I'd have to put you in bed and feed you lotsa cake and cookies and cupcakes and cake and sugar until you were well again! Did I mention cake? That’s what I always eat, and I never get sick! Maybe a slight bit hyperactive but I'm always hyperactive and my friends never complain about it."
Gummy sat there impassively and slowly blinked his eyes again; his right, then his left. He wished he could initiate his Plan B right then and there. This particular pony always had irritated him more than all the others, though he couldn't quite figure out why though. Maybe it was because she had taken him away from his nice, quiet river on Earth? Meh, he decided, the why won't matter once my Plan is complete.
The Plan…
Of course! That's what he had been doing out here in the street in the first place! He was getting into the spot he needed to be in to complete his Plan, when that dastardly mare had so rudely brought his ruminations to a screeching halt. He had only a scant hour if he wanted his plan to come to fruition, so he needed to hurry! This opportunity absolutely could not be passed up, for it came only once a year. He had planned so hard to make sure everything was ready, and it was staring to slip from his metaphorical grasp.
His thoughts were again interrupted as he heard a dramatic *gasp* from somewhere in front of him, and he looked up just in time to see the pink menace race off in the opposite direction. 'Just so long as she isn't around me' Gummy grumbled to himself.
He once again started to waddle off, when something tapped him on his back.
“Hey!”
His quick reflexes had flung him onto his perceived attackers face, where he clung and cursed his lack of teeth as he was once again foiled in his attempt at self-defense against these infernal ponies. What were alligators supposed to do if they had no teeth anyway?
“Silly Gummy, my mane might be all poofy and smell like cotton candy, but it's not! Believe me, my mane really doesn't taste all that great.”
He had to agree.
“...Can you get off now?”
Grudgingly, he detached himself from her face. Then promptly wondered how she had gotten there in the first place. Hadn't she just raced off in the complete opposite direction not 3 seconds earlier!? He mentally sighed and berated himself for going back to that line of thinking, which he had long ago learned only brought insanity. No one could explain Pinkie Pie's actions, and the few who had tried were quick to jump off a mental cliff and go crazy.
“I thought you might want a cupcake to cheer you up, you seem sad. Oh! Maybe you want a party? Parties always make me happy, especially when my friends are there. I especially like that cake that's at parties. And the cupcakes. And the punch. And games! Games are fun, and I like fun, because fun makes your day happier and funner that it was before you had fun. Maybe you wanna play a game?”
A slightly manic grin had slid onto Pinkie's face. This particular grin had never failed to make a cold shiver run up and down his spine; it was beyond creepy. He slowly tried to inch away from the pink devil and continue on his way. Glancing at the sun, he realized that approximately only 30 minutes remained before the portal he had discovered opened, and promptly closed. Furtively, he looked around and searched for a way to escape from his current predicament.
"Don't you try to go anywhere mister! It's my job to keep ponies happy in this town, and you're as good as one! You aren't going anywhere until you are happy happy happy."
Buoyed up by her own enthusiasm, Pinkie suddenly dropped from where she had inexplicably levitated into the air, shooting slightly skywards with each excited "happy". Nimbly, she snatched the slightly aghast alligator from the ground and flipped him onto her back. Dizzy from the acrobatics, Gummy couldn't resist the pink party pony any longer and just slumped in defeat. He could always try next year, he decided with a deep mental sigh, and resigned himself to yet another year of enduring the overbearing antics of his captor.
Pronking down the roadway to a destination as of yet unknown, Pinkie babbled back and forth between how much Gummy would like the surprise she had waiting for him, and various random bits of town gossip. In close order they reached her workplace and home, Sugar Cube Corner, where they found the mare's friends were assembled.
Bouncing into the building, Pinkie bubbled out ecstatically, "Thanks for coming on such short notice everypony! I wanted you all to be here for the party I'll be giving Gummy. I noticed he hasn't been all that happy recently so I planned a big huge superificly fun party for him tonight, and at the end I'll give him a super duper special secret gift that he will totally love!"
Quickly, Gummy glanced around the room in search of the cupcakes he knew would be there. Out of all the food on Equestria, some time ago he had grudgingly come to the conclusion that Pinkie's cupcakes were the best food stuffs ever, and he knew that since she knew that, there would be an abundance at a party that was put on for him as the head guest. In short order he managed to spy several plates piled with them, and demolished them one by one.
Close by Pinkie giggled at his antics, and while his attention was elsewhere hurriedly whispered her own plan to her friends. As they were addressed, they nodded and slipped off to complete their task unnoticed by the cupcakes' mortal enemy.
10 minutes and one slightly stuffed baby alligator later, Gummy found himself in the lower levels of the bakery. He immediately realized he had been so wrapped up in demolishing innocent cupcakes that it had escaped his notice that where he was going. Now that he thought about it, why were there plates of cupcakes leading into the storage room that was hardly ever used? Gummy remembered the time Pinkie had thought her friends abandoned her and subsequently went off the deep end. He had held Spike to a chair as Pinkie made the baby dragon CONFESS! to her friends' crimes. He had watched as Pinkie held a schizophrenic conversation with her new friends: the bag of flower, a stack of rocks, a pile of lint, a bucket of turnips. He had seen the crazed, non-pony look in her eyes. He still had nightmares, even after her recovery. Gulping audibly, it crossed his mind he had been very subtly led there. What if that horrid pink hurricane of disaster had decided to dispose of him and had lain in wait down here while he was totally oblivious to everything but delicious cupcakes? What if she were slooowly sneaking up behind him with a knife? What if she was now directly behind him, reaching at him with it, sloooowly bringing him closer to hi--
"Boo"
He jumped high enough he could reach up and touch the 7 foot ceiling, then swiftly met the floor again with a resounding thud.
"Oh Gummy, you *snirk* shoulda seen the lo-look on your face!"
He slowly stood back up, trying to recover what dignity he still had intact, then turned around and glared at the insufferable prankster. Her giggle-snorting lasted for another good minute or so before she brought it back under enough control for her to get back up. Riddled with occasional snorts, Pinkie Pie summoned him over to a sheet draped over something flat.
Still not trusting her voice, she beckoned him to pull the cloth off its charge.
Gummy stared at the alligator that stared back at him as soon as he did so. He brought his mouth into a fearsome snarl, but abruptly stopped when the other one mirrored his movement. He immediately did a mental facepalm as he realized it was just that, a mirror. Looking questioningly at the pink mare standing next to him, he tried to figure out what she was trying to do by giving him a five and a half foot tall piece of glass he couldn't hope to move by himself.
"It's a mirror that you can walk through and it takes you to other dimensions. Realities even! It's how I found you in the first place," she informed him sadly.
"There aren't any time restrictions on this portal, silly. You could have just informed me you weren't happy here and I would have taken you back home right away. So since I couldn't have you leaving tonight without saying goodbye to me, I brought you here to give you snacks for your journey, and to say goodbye."
To say that he looked at her strangely would be an understatement.
Giggling, Pinkie said, "Don't worry about your secrets because most of them are safe, I only know what the Author thinks I should know. Like, right now, the Author wants 2,020 words! Bleh! That's just silly. Oh, here's a bag of cupcakes to take, I'll miss you! By the way, the Author showed me something he was writing a few days ago for a school assignment and I got the idea that you would never really truly be happy here so I decided to help your own plan on a bit! That's why we're here. Anyway, enough chitter chatter. Off you go!"
Still stunned by what had happened, he just sat there and stared blankly into space. Giggling again, Pinkie gently pushed the spaced-out alligator and his food gift into the milk-like substance that was suspended in the center of the mirror frame. As his vision turned white, he vaguely understood her saying something about writing and her visiting. He ignored it, however, as he had more important things to worry about. Like "OMGamIfinallygoinghome?!" "That all happened so fast!" And: "I hope this isn't just a dream..."
As his vision faded from white to black and he came to the full realization that yes, this all really was happening, one thought stood out among all the others.
"Maybe ponies aren't all that bad after all."
Author's Note
I was given an assignment to write a short story in school, so I picked the subject I'm most familiar with :)
First paper/story I've ever written that is over 500 words, any and all criticism is welcomed.
Also, I originally had 2,020 words but FimFiction messed with the formatting...
