Pinkie Pie's Key Party

“Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?”

Dashing across the Golden Oak Library to her desk, Twilight Sparkle levitated a drawer out and dumped its contents on the floor. She began sifting through ink bottles, quills, and pieces of parchment for the invitation.

“Is Pinkie’s Party tonight?”

Twilight wasn’t the sort of pony who would let an event like this slip her mind. Normally she’d have marked her calendar, and then on the day of the event, she’d have added it to her To-Do list. This time, however, she skipped both of these steps and only happened to remember when she was thinking about her friends.

“Here it is!” She said triumphantly, picking out a card from the pile. She quickly stuffed the remaining contents back into the drawer and put it away as she opened the letter and read it.

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Thank you for agreeing to host the very special key party! It’s going to be held at the Golden Oaks Library on Friday the 16th at 9:00 PM.

All we need are three locked rooms and two copies of each key. This party is going to be super awesome fun!

Yours truly,
Pinkie Pie

PS Spike is NOT invited

She slapped her forehead with her hoof. Of course! Twilight didn’t write it down so Spike wouldn’t get disappointed. She did, however, schedule him for his own slumber party with Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo, who were convinced that Spike could help them find their cutie marks faster. Unfortunately, that left Twilight without his help, and according to the grandfather clock in the bedroom, she only had three minutes left to track down the six keys.

Twilight ran to another corner of the room where a key ring was hanging from a hook on the wall. She levitated it off and looked at them. Only three keys. Twilight knew there was a spell somewhere to copy the keys, but she didn’t have enough time to track it down and cast it. She lowered her head in defeat. Was the key party going to be a disaster because of her?

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Twilight lifted her head and forced a smile. Running a hoof through her mane, she calmed whatever frazzle had appeared in the past few minutes.

“Come in!” She called with as much cheer as she could muster. The party would certainly be fine, she rationalized, even if they didn’t have all six keys.

The door flung open and her dear friend, Applejack, trotted in, sporting her usual 10-gallon hat. “Howdy, Twilight! Hope you don’t mind I’m a wee bit early.”

“No, it’s fine.” She managed a convincing smile. Still holding the keys in the air, she trotted to the middle of the room to meet her.

One by one each of the guests arrived. Rarity was the second to arrive, wearing a long flowing maroon pony dress with a high yellow collar. Next Rainbow Dash appeared in a blur of color and was so excited that she couldn’t help but stay afloat with the beat of her wings. Fluttershy quietly crept in, her long pink hair falling to one side almost brushing the floor.

Once the ponies had greeted each other, they chatted while waiting for Pinkie Pie, the party’s host, to arrive.

“So, I had a question.” Rainbow began. “Pinkie’s invitation said that this was some sort of key party. What exactly is a key party?”

Twilight frowned. She had meant to look up what it meant before, but she again had forgotten because it wasn’t on her To-Do list. The term did sound familiar though. She knew she’d read it somewhere before, but couldn’t remember where exactly.

Applejack shrugged. “Beats me. I just know I’m supposed to be ready for a good time.”

“It probably involves keys,” Rarity stated the obvious. “And locks.”

The front door flew open. “I’m here!” Pinkie Pie shouted. Her bright curly fuschia mane bounced as she pushed a closed cardboard box the size of herself inside with her front hooves. “Who’s ready to party!?!”

The other ponies looked nervously from one to another.

“Um, Pinkie Pie,” Applejack began, “we’ve all been wondering a might bit about what sort of party this is.”

“A key party!”

“And what exactly is a key party?” asked Fluttershy.

“Oh, it’s a lot of fun! First we need a place with lots of rooms, like this one.”

The ponies looked around at the vast one-room loft that they occupied.

Rainbow Dash spoke up. “Um, I hate to break it to you, but there aren’t exactly a lot of rooms here.”

“Actually, there are several rooms.” Twilight corrected. “There’s the basement, the observatory upstairs, and I can pull out this partition to separate the bedroom.”

Using her magic, a wall of bookshelves slid across the middle of the main room, completely covering the way to the loft bedroom. The bookshelves parted, revealing a door that could be used for access.

“I didn’t know you could do that!” Applejack said, surprised.

“I don’t really use it too often.” Twilight admitted. “Really only when I first moved in when Pinkie decided to throw the Summer Sun Celebration party here.”

“And wasn’t that amazing?” Pinkie cheered.

Twilight recalled the restless night she’d spent trying to solve the mystery of the Mare In The Moon. She rolled her eyes. “Yes, it was amazing.”

“Well this party’s going to be even more amazing! It’s going to be the most amazingy maziest of all parties yet!”

“So how does it work?” Rarity asked.

“First, we need two keys for each of the three doors” Pinkie started. She pushed a small table to the center of the room to lay the keys on.

Twilight grimaced as she offered the key ring. “I only have three keys.” She took them each off the ring and put them on the table as she explained each of them. “These lead to the three rooms: the observatory, the bedroom, and the basement,” she explained.

“Okay!” Pinkie cheered. “If we only have three keys, we can just draw straws instead!”

Pinkie opened her box and pulled out several pieces of paper and pencils. “Whoever draws the two shortest straws pick a key, and then the next shortest straws, and then the longest straws!” She grabbed a pencil with her mouth and started drawing.

“Um, Pinkie? I don’t think that’s what ‘drawing straws’ means,” Twilight ventured a guess. “It sounds like we’re supposed to break off into pairs.”

“I did think that part was confusing.” Pinkie admitted, dropping the pencil. “I wonder if mine would have been the longest?” She held up her drawing of a bendy straw.

“Pinkie, where did you hear about this party?” Rarity asked.

“I found it in this book about parties!” She pulled a book out of her hair and held it up.

Twilight looked up in shock. She immediately recognized the book and suddenly remembered exactly what a key party was. “Oh that book! We used it at the slumber party! It has all kinds of overnight parties, including key parties.”

She shuffled nervously as the meaning of the party began to strike her. A key party included several activities that she’d never done before. Activities that, for her, were always distant fantasies that she took comfort in knowing would never happen. That is, until now. She wasn’t certain if she wanted to be at this party. Then she remembered an important detail that would be sure to stop it.

“But, isn’t a key party supposed to have equal numbers of mares and stallions?” she asked. “There’s no way we can have a key party with six mares.”

“You’re so old-fashioned, Twilight!” Pinkie laughed. “It only suggests having an equal number of mares and stallions. We can still do it as long as we have an even number of ponies.”

“But…” Twilight objected, but couldn’t think of what to say.

“So we have the keys and we split off into pairs,” Fluttershy said. “Then what do we do?”

“Then each pair takes one of these boxes,” Pinkie took out three smaller corrugated boxes from her larger one and placed one next to each key, “and then they go into a room and lock the door behind them.”

“What’s in the box?” Applejack asked. “And why in the world would we go into different rooms? What’s the point of that?”

“Applejack’s right!” Twilight declared, a bead of sweat dripping down the side of her face. “What’s the point of a party where we all don’t spend time together?”

“But we do spend time together!” Pinkie defended.

“What are you so worried about, Twilight?” Rainbow asked. “What’s in the boxes? And what do we do in the room?”

Pinkie explained, “well, when we’re in our rooms together, we get intimate with each other’s bodies and have a wonderful time! The boxes have things that help with that.”

Applejack’s and Rainbow Dash’s mouths dropped open. Twilight gritted her teeth, hoping the others would stop the party before it continued. Fluttershy but wasn’t sure how she felt about it, but supported the others’ feelings of surprise by dropping her head down and hiding her face under her hooves.

Rarity pressed her lips together tightly before breaking the silence. “I think I’ve been to one of these parties before.”

The other five looked at her. “What?” they all yelled.

“Um… well, the Canterlot Elite had all kinds of parties.” She thought back through the rush of events during her short stay in Canterlot the previous year. “They had boating parties, garden parties, tea parties…” she blushed, “and I think one of them was a key party.”

Everypony sat silently, waiting for more.

“Let’s just say it was a party where Fancy Pants and I got more well acquainted.”

“How did you get to know him better?” Fluttershy asked, trying to get a better understanding of what would happen in the room.

“We, um, did things...” Rarity hesitated, hoping she wouldn’t have to elaborate further.

Twilight opened her mouth to speak, but Rainbow Dash started first. “So if this works the way I think it does…” Her eyes darted to the orange pony in the cowboy hat. “The pony with the most stamina is going to have the most fun at this party.” She jumped into the air, flapping her wings to hover. “And that pony is obviously me.”

“Hey there now,” Applejack objected. “This is a party, not a competition!”

“You’re just saying that because you know I’m the best.”

“That’s not-”

“Admit it! I’m better than you.”

Applejack tilted her hat over her brow in friendly anger. “Are not!”

“Am too!”

“Are not!”

“Prove it!”

“Alright!”

Rainbow Dash dove at the keys, picking one up with its box, and flew towards the bedroom door.

“Wait!” Twilight called out. “That’s not how we’re supposed to-”

Applejack galloped after her and the door slammed behind them. The door locked with a click, leaving Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Twilight alone in the main room.

“Oh dear, this party seems very competitive.” Fluttershy started stepping backwards towards the front door. “I’m sure the three of you will have plenty of fun.” She turned to leave.

Rarity looked at the uncertain unicorn and the smiling earth pony. “But Fluttershy, we need an even number of ponies for this party.” She gracefully trotted over, stepping in front of her. “It would be dreadfully rude to leave one of us without a partner.”

Fluttershy moved her head close to the ground, but still maintained eye contact. “Oh, I wouldn’t want to do that.” She started walking backwards again. “But I might not be a very good partner.”

“Nonsense!” Rarity waved her hoof. “You’re going to make an excellent partner!” She walked towards Fluttershy, backing her towards the basement door. “Besides, wouldn’t you like to get better acquainted with one of us?”

“Well, I suppose that would be nice...” The door opened with Rarity’s magic and the pegasus backed into the basement. With a glow, the basement key and its box floated through the air, following behind them. The door closed and the click of the lock echoed throughout the room.

Pinkie Pie and Twilight looked at each other.

“Ready to go?” Pinkie asked cheerfully.

Twilight eyed Pinkie Pie, who was smiling ecstatically about the success of the party so far. The others seemed to be into it, so why not her? What’s the worst that could happen? She gave a sigh of resignation. “Alright, let’s go.”

Grabbing the last box and key, they both walked into the observatory and locked the door behind them.