NNNNNNOOOOOO!

by TheOneAJ

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Comedy
Length: 1462

What did Rainbow Dash see that was so bad?

Twilight Sparkled just wanted to get some work done today. Spike and Owlowiscuous were out of the library, and the place was peaceful and quiet. She was about to finish a good hours when Rainbow Dash flew through the window, crying about seeing something she shouldn't have, begging for a memory erase spell.

What could Rainbow have seen that was so bad? Twilight is determined to find out, even if it kills her.

Written for the writers training grounds

-Not a clop. Tagged a crossover and sex for, well, see for yourself….
Bonus points for anyone who can guess what is being crossovered.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-10 19:23:25 UTC

Chapter 1

“Are you sure you’ll be alright for the afternoon?” Spike question as he and Owlowiscuous headed out the library door with their bits.

“Spike,” Twilight chuckled, “I appreciate your concern, but I’ll be fine. You deserve a little leisure time, and I can handle everything else that needs to be done today.” She gave her #1 assistant a reassuring smile. “Now go on,” she levitated the books and pile of paper onto her desk, “enjoy your day, on me.”

Spike grin widened. “Oh I plan to.”

“Who.” Owlowiscuous said.

“Me, that’s who.”

“Who.”

“Me… gah!” Spike threw his hands on his head in frustration as they walked out.

Once he was gone, Twilight laughed her head off at the thought of Spike, and of how fast he was growing up. Although, was it just her, or did Spike seem a little a bit too excited? Even if he was just getting some sweets.

“Eh,” Twilight just shrugged, “cupcakes are cupcakes.” She told herself. “So what if he’s eager to get some?” She then ran a hoof down her face as she took deep breaths. “Right then, no distractions. Gotta get this report done for the princess.”

“Okay then” she levitated her quill, “376 years ago, the Wonderbolt’s leader…” and she was off.

***********************

“Just one more page,” Twilight squealed an hour later.

In that time, the pile of paper had shrunk dramatically. Now, only one parchment remained.

Twilight took a deep breath as she sat the last paper in front of her. “Okay, so in conclusion-”

“Twilight!” Rainbow screamed as she zoomed in through the library’s window.

As her pegasus friend raced through the window, a gust of wind blew into the library. Books flew off the shelves, ink spilled, and her report flew all over the room as a dust cloud formed all around them.

“Rainbow!” Twilight jumped once the dust began to settle. “What in blazes? *cough, cough*”

“Sorry, Twi,” Rainbow got up once the dust settled. “I hope I didn’t break anything.”

Twilight looked upon her hard work as it began to drift back to earth. “Oh no,” Twilight rolled her eyes through the papers that floated around her. “You’re only ruined an entire hour’s worth of important work that I need to get done.”

“Oh good,” rainbow let out a sigh, “for a moment there I thought I ruined something important.” Twilight hoof-planted her forehead. “But that’s not what I need your help with!”

Rainbow began to hyperventilate. She rasped between deep breaths as her chest rose and fell, rose and fell.

Twilight tilted her head at the cyan pegasus. “Is everything okay?

Rainbow placed a hoof on her forehead. “Oh it was awful, awful, Twilight! Horrible, unbearable, unhygienic, and so mind numbing. I can’t take it anymore!” She talked in a fast pace.  “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep now that I saw it I mean come on it was so horrible that I might never fly again! Now I’m going to need therapy and all kind of medical doctors to probe my head and now I think going to be sick. By Celsita, I’m never going to be able to eat anything sugar again. But what if it’s my father’s birthday? I can’t be rude by…” *Smack*.

“Ow!” Rainbow glared at her as Twilight lowered her right wing.

“Sorry,” Twilight took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and ran a hoof over her face. “Now, how about we take,” she ran a hoof through the air, “whatever is going on one step at a time, okay? Why don’t we start with some deep breathing exercises?”

“But-“

“Do it!” Twilight put her hoof down.

Rainbow Dash took a step back. “Okay.” Twilight nodded as Rainbow took a breath in, and then a breath out.

The process repeated itself for several more minutes until twilight felt like her friend had calmed down enough to speak reasonably. “Better?”

“Yeah,” Rainbow nodded. She was still shaking, but looked much more relaxed. “Sorry, I was just flying when… Oh Celestia, I saw…” Twilight smacked her again before she could ramble on. “I don’t think that is helping!”

“Breath,” Twilight commanded, and Rainbow Dash obeyed.

“Now,” Twilight began ten minutes later, “from the beginning, what happened?”

Rainbow scratched her left foreleg. “I- don’t want to talk about it. I just need you to cast a memory spell on me to forget the past, what was it? Oh heck, just make me forget the whole day so far.”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “What?” It wasn’t that she couldn’t do so as an alicorn, but that didn’t mean she wanted too.

“Rainbow Dash, it’s not that I don’t know any memory spell’s, but they can have nasty side effects.”

“I don’t care.” The pegues’s eyes grew heavy with tears. “I just need to get that mental image out of my mind. Please, Twilight,” she fell on her knee’s, “please!”

“Rainbow Dash,” Twilight placed a hoof behind her friend’s back. She then proceeded to lead the wreaked pegasus over to her therapy couch. “Now then,” Twilight placed on her red glasses, “why don’t you tell me all about it.”

Seeing this familiar setup, Rainbow merely shook her head and rolled her head. “I… can you just trust me as a friend that it’s better not to know?”

“No I can’t, Rainbow.” Twilight scratched her nose. How bad could this be? “Look, if I cast a memory spell on you, I’m going to end up seeing what I’m erasing anyways. So before we resort to, drastic measures,” she levitated a quill and parchment, “I want you to at least talk to me about it. Then if I think it’s that bad, I’ll erase it, okay?”

Rainbow Dash sighed. “Deal,” she made herself comfortable. “Well, do you know how I can remember every single detail when I can fly?”

“Yeah…”

“Well- I, sort of saw something that I wasn’t supposed to see.” Raibow rolled her eyes around the room. “It’s, kind of gross and personal. If you know what I mean?”

Twilight’s eyes lit up as her mind played out a thousand scenarios. Murder, a couple making love, a drug deal, Twilight gasped, seeing her secret collection of Tenderhoof and the pictures she had of Rainbow Dash!

“So, um…” Twilight’s lip quivered, “when did you see this, thing.” She gulped.

“It happened less than an hour ago, behind the Sugarcube Corner.” Twilight let out a relived sighed. Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “Why do you ask?

Twilight’s posture erected. “Nothing! I mean, what did you see behind Sugarcube?”

Twilight could tell that Rainbow was ready to talk. “Alright, I was flying across town, minding my own business. At first, I didn’t even think about it. Then, when I landed and began to replayed my flight, a certain event…”

“Yes,” Twilight leaned forward, “yes?”

They were interrupted by purple dragon entering the library. When he turned around to close the door, he revealed a peculiar looking white apple pie with a purple rim, and a large hole in the center.

Rainbow’s eyes and agape mouth shouldn’t have fit on her face.

“NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

On a farm on the edge of the Everfree forest, far away from the center of Ponyville, an orange earth pony lifted her head from apple bucking.

“What the hay?” Applejack titled her head in the direction of the scream

Back in the library, once Twilight head stopped spinning, she noticed a flurry of papers, and the remains of rainbow trail that lead up the stairs, with no Rainbow Dash in sight.

Not sure what to make of Rainbow, she turned her attention towards Spike. His face glowed red, and his foot kicked an invisible rock. He whistled a merry tone, and tiptoed towards the door.

“Hold it right there!” Twilight slammed the door shut with her magic and then wrapped her magic around the struggling drake and the pie. “Is there something you want to tell me about this pie, Spike?”

“Um,” Spike’s eyes circled the room as Twilight levitated the pie closer to her to examine it. “What is-” her mind then clicked to a, certain movie that was supposed to be only for adults.

The pie dropped one the ground. “Oh my Celestia,” Spike fought harder as she pulled him over. “Spik, would you like explain to me why your acting so strange?”

Spike blushed. “Um, well, Rarity,” he stuttered, “pie, me…” Spike was saved by a loud roar coming from upstairs.

“Twilight!” Rainbow screamed. “Would you like to explain to me what all these pictures of me are doing in your closet surrounded by this shrine of my hair?”

Spike and the pie fell to the floor; Twilight raced up the stairs, horn aglow.

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