The Wagerby kudzuhaikuChaptersChapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3Chapter 4Chapter 5Chapter 6Chapter 7Chapter 1A long serpentine figure walked down the hall, following Celestia, his claws clicking on the tile, his shaggy brown coat shedding hairs and leaving them on the otherwise spotless white marble. He was grinning, and one long pointed fang protruding from under his upper lip. “Just a little harmless wager.” Discord said, goading Celestia. “No.” Celestia said again, firmly. “Oh come on. Winner gets gloating rights. No less, no more.” Discord said in tempting tones. Celestia halted, her wing feathers ruffling. She shot a withering glare at the draconequus. Discord smelled weakness. He smiled a manic rictus. “I think you give your ponies too much credit.” Discord said, hoping to bruise her pride. “Discord, you could never make me doubt the virtuous goodness of my little ponies.” Celestia said, annoyed. She raised a matronly eyebrow at the Lord of Chaos. “So prove it.” Discord snarked. “Prove me wrong.” “Alright. What is this wager.” Celestia said. Discord cackled with glee. He stood up on his hind legs and clapped his paw and his claws together. He cleared his throat. “Very simple actually.” He said in velvet tones. “I do not think all of your little ponies are so goody goody. For all of their supposed love and virtue, they seem to love only ponies. My wager is simple. I do not think your ponies are capable of loving something alien to them. I will find something suitably horrible, summoned up with my magic, and you will find something to love what I summon. It cannot be Twilight Snarkle and her band of diminutive pastel equine cronies. In fact, all of Ponyville is off limits. There are some other conditions, and those will be explained after you agree to this basic condition.” Celestia bit down on her lip. Seemed too simple. All she had to do is agree to that condition and that seemed easy enough. “Very well Discord, I accept that condition. Seems simple enough.” Discord chuckled, rubbing his paw and his claws together, his tail twitching wildly. This had been too easy. “So you accept.” He said, smiling. “Very well, I shall present more of my conditions.” He snapped his claws, causing a loud pop. Something else appeared in the room with them. Celestia stared at what had been summoned. “Discord, I agreed to the conditions, not the wager.” Celestia said in a troubled voice. She began to move towards what now lie on the floor. “You agreed to the condition that I summoned something. Think carefully upon my words.” Discord said, cackling madly. “Discord, send it back.” Celestia commanded. “Are you sure you want me to?” Discord said. “You’d be sentencing it to death.” There was another manic outburst of glee. He pointed to the figure on the floor. “It lies dying, even now as we speak. You can save it Celestia. Give it life. Give it a home. You really think your subjects could love that?” Celestia moved forward. She leaned down and sniffed the figure, her nose crinkling, causing her to jerk her head back. “That is…” Discord paused, “well, the name is no longer important. We shall call her Anomie. She lay dying in her crib, forgotten by her drug addled mother who was busy cooking up a syringe full of drugs in the kitchen. She hasn’t eaten in days. She hasn’t had any water. She is debris, cast aside, thrown out, unloved, uncared for, unwanted. She represents the breakdown of her society. And potentially, yours as well.” Celestia lifted the bundle in her magic, her nose still crinkling from the horrible smell. “Her diaper hasn’t been changed for days.” Discord said, fanning his paw in front of his nose. Celestia pulsed powerful healing magic into the small figure, a dull ache in her heart. She carefully undid the soiled diaper, trying to peel it away from the skin. Ulcerous sores lie under the diaper, impacted with feces. Skin pulled away with the diaper, but the figure did not cry. It was lifeless and limp. Maggots crawled in and out of the ulcers in her skin and through the feces in her diaper. “Discord, this is a human child.” Celestia said through clenched teeth. “I know.” Discord said smugly. “And you should remember what happened the last time I brought a human here. Come on Celestia, you should have predicted this. You are slipping dear.” Celestia whirled on Discord, glaring at him, seething, furious. She continued to peel away the diaper as she did so, carefully, trying not to do any harm. When she had the diaper free from the infant, she hurled it at Discord. It stuck to his face with a splat. “That was very, very immature young filly.” Discord said, magicking the diaper away and making a disgusted face. “I accept your wager.” Celestia hissed angrily. “Speak your terms monster.” “Now now Celestia, flattery will get you everywhere.” Discord said, waving a claw in a dismissive gesture. “The rest of my conditions are as follows. She must be raised to adulthood by a family that genuinely loves her. No magical interference. If you get Cadance involved, I’ll know. And you’ll fail. Should this condition be met, once she reaches a mature age, somepony must fall in love with her. After this condition has been met, she must marry.” Discord deadpanned. “And that is all?” Celestia questioned. “Well, that and consummation of the marriage.” Discord added. “Discord, you and I both know that there are going to be some physical differences that will get in the way of that happening.” Celestia said, still cradling the infant in her magic, warming it, trying to flood life back into it. “And that makes it a challenge.” Discord said, smiling in a very disturbed fashion. “No transmogrification magics. No turning her into a pony. No turning a pony into a human.” “Discord, I cannot accept these conditions.” Celestia said. “So now she is here and you admit defeat.” Discord said. “Very well, I accept your unconditional surrender. I shall prepare to gloat immediately.” “Wait!” Celestia bellowed. “Wait.” She looked thoughtfully at the human infant. “I object to these conditions because of the physical harm it might cause. Discord, be reasonable. What would Fluttershy say if she found out about this wager?” “Don’t you dare!” Discord said, pointing a claw at Celestia. “I’ll never hear the end of this! That’s blackmail!” “As uncomfortable as this might be, I say we find middle grounds. Should love be found and marriage happen, before any consummation we both step in and do a little magical rearrangement. Make things fit. Without either of them knowing it. No harm must come to either, or else the wager is off.” Celestia glared at the chaotic tyrant, her eyes burning. “I guess that is agreeable.” Discord conceded. “But this will never get that far.” “I have faith in my ponies to be good and virtuous creatures.” Celestia said. “Shagging a human is good and virtuous?” Discord said, surprised. “In the right context it can be.” Celestia said, trying to clean the filth from the infant. It was starting to squirm now. “Anomie Discord? Really?” The babe made a faint cry as life flooded into it. “Well, you remember what happened the last time.” Discord said smugly. Celestia sighed in frustration, remembering the last time. She was determined to prevent past mistakes from repeating. She began to flog her brain, trying to think of a plan. She didn’t have a plan, but she had the next best thing. A course of action. She turned to say something to Discord, but he was already gone, off to find mischief elsewhere. “Welcome to Equestria Anomie.” Celestia said to the human infant. She felt a pittance of pity looking at her. Her skin was covered in weeping sores, her bones were visible just under her skin, and her skin had a pale blue waxy appearance. She had gingery red hair and brown eyes. “I really hope you do not live up to your name.” Author's Note Well then, that's that. Tell me what you think. If there is any interest, I'll continue. If not, this might languish. Let me know. Chapter 2Celestia pondered the infant in the crib. She was getting better. She had regained some colour, gained a tiny bit of weight, and her ulcered flesh had begun to heal. Her hair had stopped falling out. It had been one week since the wager. Discord had returned and left a reminder that the infant must be placed in a loving home. For this, Celestia felt a small mote of gratitude. The child deserved to be loved. “And how is Anomie this day?” Luna inquired, peeking into the crib. “Getting better.” Celestia said in heartbroken tones. “How could a mother do this to her child?” “I cannot say Celestia. But what I can tell you is that I have found a home. A good home. I believe I have found some ponies willing to take her in.” Luna said, smiling down into the crib and crossing her eyes, making a very silly face. “You have?” Celestia said, sounding hopeful. “Anomie shall meet her new mother this evening.” Luna said. “Who?” Celestia asked, her eyes widening in surprise. “Night Fright has agreed to become a surrogate. She is nursing. She has a foal currently.” Luna said, wiggling her ears at the infant. “Night Fright... Lunar pagasi?” Celestia inquired, now puzzled. “Well…” said Luna, “they are omnivores. They are disciplined. And they are willing.” Celestia pursed her lips and became thoughtful. “Night Fright and Charon agreed to raise Anomie.” Luna said. “Charon!” Celestia exclaimed. “I thought Night Fright’s name sounded familiar. Luna, Charon is the Keeper of the Gates of Tartarus!” “Yes. And the island is populated with minotaurs, griffons, lunar pegasi, and a number of hominoids. Anomie will have some company of similar creatures. She will not be so out of place. And she will be raised by ponies, as required by your wager.” Luna looked at her sister, still crosseyed. “Hmm.” Celestia said, ignoring her sister’s eyes. “An entire island of omnivores and meat eaters. Rich in martial culture. Luna, I believe you are on to something.” Luna nodded, uncrossing her eyes. Celestia looked down thoughtfully at Anomie. “I intend to win this wager Luna. I want Discord in his place. I have very mixed feelings about this. On one hoof, he brought a human into Equestria. On the other hoof, he saved her from certain death. Intentional or not, his actions showed a certain sense of charity.” Celestia fell silent for a moment. “Thinking about it, I sort of feel bad for wanting to win this wager so badly. Discord has been making progress.” Luna did not reply. “So she will be raised on Coffin Bone Isle in the Skeleton Keys.” Celestia said, thinking aloud. Luna nodded. It was late, approaching midnight. Celestia had carefully diapered Anomie and had out warm blankets for her to be bundled in. She paced somewhat, waiting, watching the door. Anomie slept fitfully, waking and crying occasionally. Celestia felt a slight pang of regret. Part of her wanted to keep the child. Not that she would admit it to anypony. It was going to be difficult to let go. Celestia heard hooves outside the door and the grunting of the guard. The door opened. Luna entered first, followed by an enormous lunar mare. She was dark, her coat a purple-black, and heavily muscled. Hung from her neck and harnessed to her chest was a tiny foal, looking around with wide eyed wonder. It had oversized tufted ears and its snout was almost pig-like, as some of the lunar pegasi had. It was also painfully adorable Celestia thought to herself. She felt her breath quicken looking at it. The lunar foals were always so adorable, before they grew up into massive shaggy brutes. “Hello again your Majesty” Night Fright said, nodding her head slightly towards Celestia. “Forgive me for not properly bowing. Foal.” “Hello Night Fright. How are you this night?” Celestia replied. “Excited!” Night Fright said, her voice somewhat shrill. She pulled the foal from his carrier, snatching him out by the nape of his neck, and then placed him on the floor gently. He cried a few times and looked up as his mother with hopeful pleading eyes. “He’s hungry.” Night Fright commented. “Could somebody fetch the other babe, and place her at my teats? Might as well get started now.” Night Fright carefully laid down on the floor and rolled over on to her side. “If you cannot pick her up I foresee some problems.” Celestia said, now worried. “At home, we have a minotaur maid. She has the most useful hands. She will be there to assist, but yes, I doubt I could pick it up in my teeth without harm.” Night Fright explained. Luna lifted the babe from the crib with her magic and held it aloft while Celestia laid down a folded blanket for the infant to lie upon. The foal rushed forward to feed, and Night Fright gently shoved it away. He tried again, and received another shove. Luna gently laid the infant down, positioning so that she might nurse, something she took to quickly, her head resting on Night Fright’s hind leg. “I don’t believe in baby bottles.” Night Fright said. “Come here Squeaker.” She gestured at her foal, who sat there looking sullen, a scowl upon his pouting face. Squeaker came forward on wobbling legs, squeaking shrilly, sounding a bit like a tea kettle. He came to his mother’s side, pausing, sniffing at strange infant. His nose trailed up and down her body, snuffling. “You be good.” Night Fright said, her voice now stern. Squeaker continued to sniff, his muzzle snuffling, and then he laid down, pressing himself up against Anomie, his nose searching for the other teat. When he found it, he began to suckle. Celestia heaved a massive sigh of relief. Luna came close, leaning her head down. “So adorable.” She whispered. Squeaker lifted his head, turned to Luna, and hissed loudly, showing his tiny fangs, his ears flat against his skull. Luna cried out and stepped back in alarm. “Good Squeaker!” Night Flight praised. “Sorry your Majesty… I hope you can understand that I cannot scold his protective behaviour.” She looked at Luna, worried. “I am not offended.” Luna said, watching the foal. “He’s a biter.” Night Flight said. “You’re lucky he didn’t clamp down on your nose.” Luna nodded while Celestia chuckled faintly. “Look at him, wrapping his little foreleg over Anomie.” Luna whispered excitedly. “Sister, your faith in our ponies is well placed as always.” “As much as I want to stay and visit, it is a long flight, and I want to be home before dawn. It is cold outside. When she finishes feeding, make sure she is bundled and help me pack her away in the sling with Squeaker. He’ll keep her warm. I suppose she’ll need to be cleaned up when we get home.” Night Fright said. “Calpurnia will help with that.” Celestia raised her eyebrow. “The maid.” Night Fright explained. “Charon is going to be so happy. He likes odd things.” “He found you.” Luna teased. “No, I found him. And scared him nearly to death. I accepted his unconditional surrender right then and there.” Night Fright said, smiling broadly, her fangs showing. “I do not understand.” Celestia queried. “Charon made a public decree that he would only marry a mare that could best him in combat and subdue him.” Luna explained. “Many mares tried. The Keeper is quite a prize. Many mares left disappointed and bloodied.” Luna pointed at Night Fright’s cutie mark, an open fanged mouth. “Night Fright broke in to Charon’s home. She ambushed him while he slept. And she gave one of her special screams right into his ear. Charon wet himself and fell under Night Fright’s spell, which is one of terrible fear, caused by one of her banshee screams. He surrendered and they married.” Celestia shook her head. “I do not understand the lunar pegasi.” “We have different standards.” Night Fright sniffed. “Guile and treachery is just as important as brute force. Night Fright showed that she was a worthy prize and Charon reciprocated.” Luna said. “We didn’t bother waiting to be married.” Night Fright said. “We reciprocated all night and most of the next day.” She licked her lips in a lusty manner. “I tried to take him in combat first, and he gave me a bloody good thumping and sent me on my way. I knew right then and there that I had to have him. I want my foals strong and ready for combat.” “I… I… I do not understand. He beat you bloody?” Celestia asked. “He broke half a dozen ribs and fractured my jaw.” Night Fright said, smiling. “He sent a clear message that he’s the sort of stallion you want fathering your foals.” Celestia began to stammer wordlessly. “After I healed up, I went about bringing him down with guile and treachery. I brought him under my hoof and now he is my possession. Now that I have him, he’s never done so much as even bruised me whilst we enthusiastically try to create foals. Sadly, he’s a bit too gentle. A mare needs a good thrashing now and then.” Night Fright licked one of her fangs after she spoke, her eyes blinking rapidly. “He is your possession?” Celestia inquired in puzzled tones. “Remember sister, lunar pegasi are matriarchal, in honour of our rule. The mares are in charge.” Luna explained. “What am I sending Anomie into?” Celestia said, now worried. “A loving home.” Night Fright said defensively. “I am not doubting that.” Celestia said diplomatically. “I am just very afraid of the future. There is so much at stake.” “I could imagine.” Night Flight said. “I know my history. I know what the first human did.” “So then you understand my concerns.” Celestia said. “Like griffons, maybe not all humans are bad.” Night Fright said. “Look how long it took to build trust and allow the peaceful griffons to live within our borders.” “I hope you are right. I’ve peered into human realms. I did not care for what I saw.” Celestia said, her tone solemn. “Human or not, we intend to raise Anomie with our values.” Night Fright said. Celestia couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or not. Author's Note Next chapter, we get to meet Charon and settle into Anomie's new home. Chapter 3Charon looked down at Anomie. He studied her, sniffing her, running his nose all up and down her arms, and then finally, he pressed his nose into her belly and snuffled a few times, causing Anomie to squirm. Night Fright stood close by, looking nervous, Squeaker by her side. Charon’s tongue came out, and licked Anomie’s ear, he paused, looking thoughtful, his eyes closed. He pressed his nose back down upon her head and continued to sniff. “I can’t smell what I am seeking.” Charon said. Night Fright looked puzzled. “Evil.” Charon blurted out. “Humans are supposed to be evil. And I can’t smell the presence of evil anywhere upon her. I can smell you, the princesses, Squeaker, Calpurnia, and a few things I don’t recognise, but I can’t detect a single flicker of evil anywhere, and believe me, I was thorough.” “Is that what you were doing?” Night Fright asked. “I am the gatekeeper. It is my job to find evil and determine threats.” Charon said, shrugging. “Anomie has an absense of it. Maybe it will develop later. But I doubt it. She seems so fragile and harmless. Then again, I am sure he seemed that way at one time.” Charon leaned down and planted his lips on Anomie’s forehead, leaving behind a wet smooch. “You are a strange pony.” Night Fright commented. “Look, you pursued me. You knew what you were in for.” Charon replied, smiling, his fangs showing. “Calpurnia, what do you think?” “You are a strange pony.” Calpurnia responded, smiling. The minotaur cow stood waiting, watching Anomie, curious about the tiny hominid with a body so similar to her own. Charon grunted in annoyance. “So hard to get good help.” “I am the best help you’ve ever had.” Calpurnia retorted. “Do you know what I have to put up with? I have to open up the door all the time and play a gracious host to all manner of things. Psychopomps, demiurges, small gods, large gods, polymorphic manifestations of primordial powers, chaos entities, and now I am about to nanny that!” She pointed at Anomie. “I want to see you find a maid that will put up with everything I do!” Charon grinned broadly, having aroused the ire of the maid, one of his favourite pastimes. Seeing his grin, Calpurnia mooed in annoyance, and then flounced out of the room. “I guess Calpurnia is in a bad moo-od.” Charon said, causing Night Fright to cringe. “Gah! No puns! Not in front of the foals!” Night Fright demanded. “I will not be cowed.” Charon said sternly. “Ugh, no more.” Night Fright pleaded. Charon kissed his mate warmly, pressing up against her side, his tail brushing up against hers, leaning on her much larger body. After a long passionate moment, he pulled away and smacked his lips in an exaggerated fashion. The two of them gazed upon the infant and the foal, now curled up together, Squeaker covering Anomie with his wing. His eyes opened and he yawned, revealing a mouth full of teeth and a long orange tongue, and then he closed his mouth and his eyes, his head settling to rest beside Anomie’s. “I think I like her. Squeaker seems to like her. You seem to like her. She will fit in well in our family I think.” Charon whispered, not wanting to wake the sleeping pair. “Squeaker nearly took a chunk out of Luna when she drew near Anomie.” Night Fright confessed in a low voice. “Good Squeaker.” Charon whispered. “He is so much like you.” Night Fright said. “One day he will be the next keeper and inherit my name.” Charon replied. “Just as I inherited my title from my father.” Night Fright nodded, reveling in her mate’s warmth, his body still pressed against her side, his scent strong in her nostrils. “Let’s go to bed.” Charon nodded, and the both of them left the room. “So, I take it Anomie has found a home.” Discord said, his voice lacking in his usual sarcasm, his face strangely blank. Celestia could swear that she heard a tone of relief in his voice. She seized upon this weakness and raised an eyebrow smugly, looking Discord in the eye. Celestia felt a surge of pride as the draconequus looked away, avoiding her stare. “So now we have to see if she is loved.” Discord announced, slumping slightly. “How do we determine love. I feel it needs a definition of some sort, a common exchange of understanding between two minds.” For a brief moment, fear gripped Celestia. She hadn’t expected this. It seemed perfectly reasonable though. “So we have to define what love is.” Celestia said. “That is easier said than done.” Discord rubbed his paw and his talons together. “I am at a weakness here, I will confess.” Discord proffered. “Trust is important.” Celestia said. “How does one measure trust?” Discord asked. “You must leave yourself open and vulnerable and then trust that the one you love will not do harm. You show somepony all of you, even the bad parts, and then trust that they will accept you, both the good and the bad.” Celestia said, her gaze falling upon some invisible point on the ceiling, her head turned upward in concentration. “How do we measure that in a family?” Discord inquired, confused. “I am not sure yet.” Celestia replied. “We have plenty of time I suppose.” Discord began to pace, his paw and his talons folded behind his back, his face thoughtful. “Determining love is going to be complicated.” “Love isn’t always easy to see, but you will know it when you see it.” Celestia offered. “That is illogical!” Discord snarked. “You… Chaos incarnate dare say something is illogical?” Celestia said, more than a little sarcasm flooding into her voice. Discord froze in place, his mouth moving but no words coming forth. “Gotcha.” Celestia crowed. Discord pulled out a sheet of paper and made a mark, scowling and muttering as he did so. After making a mark, he snapped his talons and the paper vanished. “What was that?” Asked Celestia. “The scorecard.” Replied Discord. “Ha!” Celestia laughed. “Hey, I trusted you enough to play fair during this wager.” Discord muttered, his features now sullen. Celestia eyed him curiously, now feeling a dreadful sense of fear that she could not explain, something about Discord’s words chilling her marrow. Chapter 4Night Fright looked down at her children, a frown her most prominent feature. Two were bat winged shaggy horrible little monsters. One was ginger haired and freckled, and not at all like her siblings, with one exception. All three of them were covered in mud. “Squeaker, Starling, Anomie, what am I to do with you?” Night Fright asked. The foals squirmed uncomfortably, Anomie’s fingers curled around their manes, one hand on each of her siblings. Night Fright surveyed the front room, now covered in mud, the mud fight had been brought indoors. There was mud on the ceiling of all places. Anomie began to sniffle under Night Fright’s punishing gaze. “Oh no you don’t! I’m not falling for that again.” Night Fright said, causing Anomie’s sniffles to trail off. “Your little hands are the main perpetrators of this mess. Mudballs Anomie, really?” “There was no snow?” Anomie replied, squirming, poking the floor with her muddy big toe, and casting her eyes downward. “And Squeaker, you are the oldest. You are responsible for keeping your siblings out of trouble. You slung mud at your sisters. Your sisters! Your beautiful delicate sisters that you are obligated to protect and keep from trouble!” Night Fright gave her colt foal a well practiced stink eye. Squeaker squeaked loudly and shrank away from his mother’s gaze. “Starling, I don’t even know where to begin with you. As a female you have a duty and an obligation to a certain model of behavior. And you have failed in your duty!” Night Fright scowled, her teeth bared. Starling squealed pitifully and fell over on to her side with a wet muddy splat, her face covered by one of her wings, cowering from her mother’s glare. Anomie dropped to her knees and tried to comfort her fallen sister, spreading more mud everywhere she touched. “I started it, punish me.” Anomie begged, her body over her sister. “I started it.” Squeaker admitted. “I got a muddy hoof and I flung it at Starling.” “Liar!” Anomie shouted. “I did it.” Night Fright studied her foals, now wondering who actually started it. Not that it mattered. All of them had engaged in muddy combat. Brutal muddy combat. Anomie was wearing a mud mask and her hair was spiky with mud. Squeaker was breathing through his mouth, his piggish nostrils corked with mud. Starling’s wings were practically caked to her body, a heavy cast of mud around her barrel. Night Fright could hear Calpurnia’s heavy breathing behind her, punctuated by taurine snorting. Night Fright heard Calpurnia’s knuckles cracking, a worrisome sign. “I am not going to punish you.” Night Fright announced. There was a sigh of relief from two foals and one human. “Calpurnia, you may have the satisfaction of punishing them however you see fit.” Night Fright quipped. “They have muddied the front room you work so hard to keep clean. You are not to be merciful.” The foals shrieked and the small human girl clung to her siblings in fear, all of them had their eyes wide open in real terror, Squeaker beginning to squeak with each drawn breath. “Your little plots are MINE!” Calpurnia shouted. Calpurnia scooped up the two foals under one arm, and Anomie under the other. “We begin with a bath.” Calpurnia ignored the pleading whimpers and cries. “Hot water, extra soap!” Anomie went limp in Calpurnia’s grasp, her body slumping as it hung from Calpurnia’s arm. Anomie had the amazing ability to become nearly boneless, limp, and seemingly helpless, her best natural defense. Calpurnia had learned how to handle Anomie’s boneless mass long ago. “After have a bath, you will help me clean up this mud. And since you are bound to become dirty from the cleaning, there will be another bath.” Squeaker let out a pitiful bat-pig-like squeal and began to kick his little legs, the whites of his eyes in sharp contrast to his mud covered face. “Mother!” Squeaker begged. Night Fright turned tail and left the room, leaving her offspring to a terrible fate. “Have you learned anything?” Charon asked his offspring There was no reply. None could meet their father’s gaze. “I asked you a question.” Charon stated, his voice emotionless. “I’ve learned that I should respect my sisters bodies.” Squeaker squeaked. Charon turned his baleful gaze to his colt foal, causing Squeaker to sink down in his seat, trying to hide under the table. “I have learned that my sister’s bodies are sacred and that I am to never violate them or cause them to come to harm, or allow them to be harmed through my own inaction.” Squeaker said, correcting his previous words. “My actions today caused them to be punished, which means I have brought harm upon them. For this I am sorry.” Charon nodded slightly, and after he did so, Calpurnia placed a portion of food on Squeaker’s plate. Charon turned his gaze to Starling. “And you?” Starling did not meet her father’s gaze. She looked briefly at her brother, then at Anomie, and finally down at her own empty plate. “Starling?” Charon inquired. “I failed to inspire my siblings to noble behavior. I failed to lead by example. I failed in my responsibility as female to behave in a manner befitting my station.” As Starling spoke, a few tears squeezed from her eyes. Charon nodded at Calpurnia, who added food to Starling’s plate. “Anomie?” Charon inquired, turning his gaze upon her. “I learned that my hands are really good for throwing mud balls...” Anomie said in a low whisper, her eyes now locked on Charon’s own glittering orbs. “It might not be the answer you want, but it is something I learned.” Charon’s ears folded back against his skull and a low rumbling sigh rattled out of his barrel. He stroked his chin with a wing knuckle, his eyes narrowing and his nostrils flaring. “I’ve also learned that a swat acrossed my bare backside hurts a lot more than a swat does when I am wearing britches.” Anomie added. Squeaker and Starling both looked at Anomie, their faces pleading with her to fess up. “I’ve also learned that I am willing to endure two baths and a few hours of cleaning for a half an hour of having fun in the mud, and I am willing to accept my consequences, no matter what they might be. There is a price for everything and I shouldn’t be afraid to pay it.” Anomie looked away from Charon and down at her own empty plate. “And I figure I am going to go to bed hungry as the price for speaking my mind. I accept that.” Charon nodded at Calpurnia once more, and she filled Anomie’s plate with food. “Always be prepared to accept the consequences for what you have done.” Charon commanded. “It is a lesson just as important as any other.” “So little Anomie has grown.” Discord paced in Celestia’s throne room, his paw and his talons folded behind his back. “Yes, she has,” agreed Celestia, “and Charon believes her to be a good girl, even if she is willful sometimes, and has a constant need to push the boundaries of what is acceptable. She resists authority and constantly strives against the limits imposed by her parents and her school tutors.” “Is she still loved?” Discord’s words seemed worried, concerned, his brow furrowed, his tail twitched restlessly as he paced. “Of course she is,” replied Celestia, “even if she is sometimes a troublemaker, she means well. Ponies love her, make no mistake.” “So… Even if something is a troublemaker, and has done bad things, it can still be loved if somepony choses to do so. Interesting.” Discord stood scratching his chin, having removed his paw from behind his back, still pacing around the room as Celestia sat on her throne. “So tell me Celestia, if Anomie has been in trouble, and ponies are currently angry with her, how does she know if she is still loved?” Celestia smiled. “That is easy,” said Celestia, “she knows that no matter how much she might need to be punished for what she has done, she can trust them to punish her for the things she did and still be loved afterwards. Love means not being afraid of consequences. Easier said than done when you are young, but as a mature adult, you can look back, reflect upon your time when you were young, and know that you were loved.” “I see.” Discord blinked rapidly, his face thoughtful. “Celestia, I’ve done awful things. Things I should answer for. I must confess, there are times when I feel ashamed. I worry constantly if I am accepted and if you, er, ponies can forgive me what I have done.” Celestia felt an odd prickle of fear once again, and a faint heat behind her cheeks. She looked at her visitor and found she could say nothing. Chapter 5“Oh gosh, I’m almost late!” Anomie cried. She turned at looked at her siblings and her playmate, wishing they could come with her, and knowing that they could not. This was a private affair, a rite of passage, a sign of growing up. She was nervous, and her palms were sweaty. “Good luck.” Dark Eye said, her unseeing eyes staring off into the distance, not seeing Anomie. The blind lunar pegasus had other ways of seeing though. “Choose wisely.” Squeaker said, nodding his head. “Make mother proud.” Starling quipped. Anomie nodded, touching each them one last time, and then took off sprinting to the barracks, where she was to meet with Kelphos the minotaur. Anomie stood staring at the weapon rack, looking at the different weapons used by the minotaurs, trying to settle her mind and choose wisely. The choice was difficult. There was the mace, a brutal and effective weapon, but she doubted she would ever be strong enough to use one effectively. There was the axe, a useful weapon for cleaving and chopping, useful for hacking through armor. The spear, with reach and many uses, from poking and prodding, to smashing and crushing with the blunted end. And then there were swords of all shapes and sizes. She pondered all of these choices, including some of the more exotic weapons, With trembling hands, she carefully reached out and selected a weapon from the rack, and turning on her heel, she walked with slow careful grace to a table and picked up a second weapon. “Is this to be your selection?” Kelphos asked, looking down at her sternly. Kelphos was massive, impressively large even by minotaur standards, his shoulders as wide as a pony was long. Anomie looked down at her hands, carefully considering her choices, examining them, feeling them in her hands, and she slowly nodded her head, causing her long ginger ponytail to bob as she did so, her face as solemn as the situation demanded. “I must say, I am somewhat surprised.” Kelphos studied Anomie as he spoke. “Would you care to explain my little fire haired terror?” Anomie suddenly felt afraid, worrying she had chosen badly, and then she remembered Calpurnia’s words… there were no bad choices. She looked up at Calpurnia’s husband and screwed her courage to the sticking place. “I already use the bow. I am good with a bow. And I will continue to become better with the bow. I chose the dagger because it is small and light, and I can strike quickly, playing to my strengths, which are speed and cunning. I’d rather never be in a situation where the dagger is needed. I chose the whip because it compliments the reasons for my dagger. It will keep foes away from me, afraid of what I might do. After I turn them into a pincushion, I can rip the arrows out of them if they draw close, adding insult to their injury.” Anomie hafted the dagger, testing its balance, giving a slight flip and catching it by the blade, the tested the balance once again and threw it, lodging it into the wooden beam that held up one end of the weapon rack. Kelphos looked impressed, raising one eyebrow, the corner of his mouth turning upwards, his long fingers flexing. “You are now without a dagger,” Kelphos chuckled, “thankfully you have your wits.” Kelphos lunged suddenly and swiftly, his massive fist coming down towards Anomie like meteor streaking down out of the heavens. His fist struck nothing, Anomie had cartwheeled away, and was now in a defensive crouch, the whip uncoiled. “Don’t make me turn this into a bullwhip.” Anomie warned. There was no playful tone in her voice. Her eyes were narrowed and fierce. She also had her dagger. She is quick Kelphos thought to himself. Kelphos stood up straight, his fist unflexing. He bowed slightly, looking down at his student. He smiled broadly. Anomie did not relax her stance. “Your mother will be proud of you,” said Kelphos. Only then did Anomie relax, taking a deep breath, allowing her dagger to fall to her side, still clutched in her hand. “We will find you a real dagger. Not some training poker,” Kelphos offered. “Thank you sir,” Anomie replied. “How did it go?” asked Dark Eye. “What did you choose?” inquired Squeaker. “Did Kelphos approve?” queried Starling. “It went well. I made a wise choice and Kelphos agreed. I chose the dagger and the whip, two weapons I felt comfortable with,” replied Anomie. Dark Eye hugged Anomie with her wings, pulling the human girl in close. Anomie wrapped her arms around Dark Eye’s neck, and gave an ear a gentle tug. As Anomie squeezed Dark Eye, she felt her siblings press in against her, squishing her pleasantly. “Anomie, you’re growing soft places on your chest, just like the minotaurs,” Dark Eye said as Anomie was squished against her. Anomie froze in embarrassment, her new growth the source of a lot of troubling feelings for her. She was at a difficult age to be a girl. A lot of things were happening. She felt Dark Eye nuzzle her softly and then felt very confused and self conscious. “My little sister is growing up,” Squeaker said. “I’m glad that Kelphos did not squash you again Anomie,” Starling quipped. “It seems our little girl is becoming a warrior. Seems odd, you allowing her to be trained in weapons that could maim or kill your little ponies.” Celestia eyed Discord, studying him, watching his ever changing facial features. “Charon says in his letter that Anomie is a skilled archer too,” Discord added. “What if she hunts ponies?” “Sometimes, you have to trust that just because somepony can hurt somepony else that they will not. Anomie has to grow up and become something, and she is growing up, make no mistake. It is my hope that she will defend my little ponies. Her chaotic instincts seem to be focused and contained,” said Celestia. “But how can you trust her?” asked Discord. “I have no choice. I have to allow her to be free and hope she makes the right choices,” Celestia replied. “Like me?” inquired Discord. “Yes, like you. You have great power and I have no choice but to trust you that you will not do harm again,” Celestia answered. “Yes, but how can you do that? I’ve done such bad things! You’d have to be a fool to trust me, I wouldn’t trust me!” Discord shouted. “Anomie is proving to be quite different than the first human in our lands… and you have changed a great deal,” soothed Celestia. “Are we friends?” asked Discord. “I suppose we are now,” answered Celestia slowly. “These talks have changed much between us.” Discord looked relieved. “I have wanted to be your… friend for quite some time,” said Discord, his tail twitching nervously. Once again, Celestia felt an odd sense of alarm. Chapter 6“Alright class, today the last lesson is about one of Equestria’s terrible villains, a human by the name of Tirek. Can anybody in class tell me who he was, what he did, and what his fate was?” The older griffon paced around the classroom after his question, looking around at his students expectantly, waiting for some kind of reply. The fire haired girl known as Anomie couldn’t help but feel that Silverskald’s eyes lingered a little too long on her. The griffon looked at her, yes, was most definitely looking at her, and Anomie couldn’t help but feel that she was about to learn a lesson about the other human that had been in Equestria. When the class did not reply, Silverskald did not seem surprised. He fluffed out his wings a bit, clacked his talons in the floor, and made clicking sounds with his beak. “I am guessing that Tirek was a human…” answered Anomie hesitantly. “Very good deduction Anomie. He started out that way,” replied Silverskald. “So what happened?” asked Anomie. “Tirek came to Equestria during the Chaos Conflict. Discord and the Royal Sisters had reached a bit of a stalemate. The war had reached a lull. Neither side was really more powerful than the other. Discord discovered he could reach into other realms with his magic, something that is assumed he learned by mistake. Discord reached into another realm and plucked out another being of pure chaos. A human. A man named Tirek. Tirek came into Equestria and became a plaything of Discord. But Tirek was not content to be a plaything of Discord, he wanted real power. Eventually, Tirek broke free of Discord’s control. After doing so, he made a deal with a fell being, and was able to use magic. Dark foul sorcery. This was not enough. He grew jealous of the Royal Sisters and their power, and sought a way to corrupt harmony magic for his own use. A failed experiment twisted and corrupted his body, making him half pony and half human, something called a centaur,” Silverskald paused to take a deep breath, and then continued; “a centaur, which has a pony body from the human waist downwards, and a human body sprouting from where the neck is. This new form allowed Tirek to harness twisted and corrupted harmony magics, and he almost destroyed the world as we know it. He became so powerful that he even became a threat to Discord. Discord and the Royal Sisters declared a temporary truce to combine forces and work together to deal with Tirek. Eventually, Tirek was defeated, but he could not be killed. He was bound in Tartarus where he remains to this day,” finished Silverskald. “Is this why everything is afraid of me?” asked Anomie. “I am not afraid of you,” replied Silverskald. “That does not answer my question,” retorted Anomie. “Your question included the word everything Anomie. And there are lots of things that are not afraid of you, but trust you with their lives. Anyhow, class is over. Get out of here. Go have a pleasant day,” said Silverskald. Confusing things happened sometimes, they happened just out of the blue, seemingly for no reason at all, and the best you could do was roll with the punches and continue to move on, trying to make sense of everything after it had happened. There was no making sense of this. No, there was no making sense of this at all. It was simply too confusing, and Anomie felt a hot hot heat burning through her body. She stared at Dark Eye blankly, trying to figure out what had happened, what had taken place, and Dark Eye blinked her sightless eyes and waited for Anomie to come up to speed. The kiss had been very confusing. The aftermath was about to become even more so. The two of them had been in the garden after school, Anomie had been reading something to Dark Eye, and then, quite unexpectedly, Dark Eye had moved swiftly and surely and had planted a wet kiss on Anomie’s lips. The first kiss for either of them. And it had not been an innocent kiss. There had been some exploration on Dark Eyes’s part. “How, why…” stammered Anomie, standing up and stepping backwards, still tasting pony slobber, a bit of drool running down from the corner of her mouth, which she quickly wiped away with the back of her hand. “Your voice, I like it. Your mind infatuates me,” confessed Dark Eye, the blind lunar pegasus, who was now pressing her advantage on the surprised and somewhat stunned Anomie. “Oh,” gasped Anomie. Anomie froze as Dark Eye’s muzzle trailed over her budding breasts, sniffling and snuffling, taking in her scent, and then, Dark Eye’s nose began to travel downward. After a slow teasing descent, Dark Eye pressed her muzzle into Anomie’s groin and inhaled deeply. “Your scent is different, but I still think I detect arousal. Do you like me Anomie?” asked Dark Eye, a faint tremor of fear now in her voice. “Or have I made a mistake?” she asked. “I uh, well, you’re still my friend, this hasn’t changed that, but uh, I am not sure what to make of it, you caught me off guard. I’ve never thought about you as anything other than my friend,” confessed Anomie after a stammering start. “I don’t see a world full of ponies, or griffons, or minotaurs. I just hear voices. And know minds. Sure, your body is weird and odd, but I can’t actually see it. But I do like what I have touched. Like a moment ago, I like how it felt when I ran my nose over your soft flesh on your chest, your breasts, I like how the skin gave way when I pressed my nose in,” said Dark Eye. Anomie realised the lunar pegasus was baring her soul, and Anomie had nothing particularly heartfelt to say. She panicked slightly, not wanting her friend to feel hurt. Friend? The lines had blurred, Anomie wasn’t certain about anything at the moment. “And I like you Anomie, I like you a great deal, I like who you are. Well, I think I love you actually, hard to tell, there is a bad case of infatuation that has built up, and I’ve been wrestling with it for a long time now, almost a year now, and today I just had to take the risk,” explained Dark Eye. Anomie struggled with what to do next. She didn’t have a clue. “And you don’t seem to be responding to it very well, so I guess we have awkward times ahead of us as we try and go back to being friends and put this behind us. I do hope we can put this behind us, I’ll not make the same mistake twice,” promised Dark Eye. Anomie had never been particularly gifted with fancy words or a overly swift mind. She was bright, she was clever, but she was failing in this situation. There was only one thing to do. She dropped down onto her knees, grabbed Dark Eye by her long tufted ears, and hauled her in for another kiss, causing the alarmed and surprised pegasus to emit a high pitched squeal and a series of clicks as Dark Eye echolocated, trying to figure out what was going on. And then, in the final moment, Anomie clamped down on Dark Eyes’s lip with her teeth, as no proper display of affection between lunar pegasi took place without a hint of savagery. The flustered girl pulled away from the breathless pegasus, her face hot, blood coursing through her veins, her hands still tightly gripping Dark Eye’s ears. Anomie saw her mother through the kitchen window and nearly panicked. She felt her bowels nearly turn to water. Lunar pegasi were the very best and the very worst of mothers. But Night Fright was smiling broadly, serenely, and didn’t seem upset by this at all. She saw her mother give a little nod, one eye winking, and Anomie felt a surge of gratitude. Anomie’s distraction was a terrible blunder, as Dark Eye pushed forward and pinned her to the earth, pressing down upon her, asserting dominance. There was a single painful nip on the shoulder that caused Anomie to yelp, and Anomie was never one to back down from a display of dominance. She used her secret weapon, fingers. Fingers that could tickle. Dark Eye would learn her place soon enough. “You know Luna, I think I am going to win this wager,” said Celestia, barely able to contain her excitement. “From the letters, it does seem that you have an advantage at the moment, but remember sister, this is young love. Things change. Infatuations sometime fade away,” replied Luna. “This certainly fixes a lot of problems, Anomie falling in love with a filly. I don’t have to worry about her being hurt by certain physical acts, but I do understand that the lunar pegasi courtship rituals can be a little bloody,” said Celestia, a faint hint of worry in her voice. “Yes, Calpurnia had to stitch up Anomie’s backside after one particularly affectionate nip. Rotten little plot nippers, the lot of them,” Luna said, pondering her lunar pegasi. “You will now be unbearable to be around now that you think you’ve won.” muttered Discord, who could practically feel Celestia gloating. Celestia said nothing, but smiled broadly, her eyes wide and flashing with excitement. “You know, this must be particularly sweet for Anomie, finding love. Being the only one of her kind in this world, finding something that saw past what she was on the outside and loving her for what she was on the inside has to be almost magical. She is a very lucky little girl,” said Discord softly, sounding almost depressed, his body slumping, his tail thudding to the floor and laying still. Celestia felt like she had just been punched in the navel, all of her good mood suddenly gone. Discord looked truly awful, and Celestia had the dreadful feeling he wasn’t acting. “I suppose you have this one in the bag old girl. And with no messy physical complications to consummate the marriage to boot. Well, provided that young love lasts, which I am sure it will. Anomie and her insufferable aspirations towards noble gestures,” grumbled Discord. Celestia was feeling unbelievably bad. She didn’t know why. Discord was taking this in the worst way possible, and it was hurting her to see him this way. And Celestia had no clue why. Seeing him in pain was causing Celestia a physical sensation of pain, deep in her barrel, and it unnerved her. “Cheer up Discord, losing isn’t so bad. One of us had to win this wager. You saved a little girl from a fate worse than death, she is happy, she is loved, and she has found love. Can’t you take comfort in that?” asked Celestia. Discord did not respond. He simply stared at Celestia, a broken expression on his face, looking at her pleadingly. Celestia was about to say something to comfort the draconequus when he vanished, leaving behind something on the floor. Celestia eyed it closely, and realised it was a small damp place where something wet had fallen. Celestia suddenly had the feeling that she had done something very, very wrong, but for the life of her, could not figure out what it was. She went off to find Luna, hoping her sister could help her sort out this mess. Some things were simply too confusing to make them out as they happened. Author's Note This was never meant to be a long story, and it rapidly approaches its conclusion. Chapter 7The day had started off like every other day, with the everyday commonplace routines of life taking place as they always had. But then, the day had changed. The routine and commonplace gave way to unusual and extraordinary, as unique circumstances allowed the unthinkable to happen. Anomie rose slowly and struggled to her feet, clutching the back of her head, she could feel the blood trickling through her fingers as she pressed her hand to her split scalp. She gazed around her, stunned and unable to take in every horrible thing she saw. The front half of the house was gone, crumbled away. Bodies lay in the rubble. Up the road was the gate, and Cerberus lay dead, one of his heads having rolled quite some distance away. Charon’s headless corpse had fallen not too far from Cerebus. Night Fright had died shortly after Charon fell, her front legs ripped from her body before she was thrown into the wall, causing some of the house to crumble. Dark Eye’s lifeless body lay partially buried under the rubble, her wings twisted and broken into unnatural angles. Calpurnia was nowhere to be found, but was probably dead like the others. Starling had been skewered on a fencepost and had died from her impalement. Squeaker made a few plaintive whimpers though, and Anomie moved to her brother’s side. He was ripped open, bleeding, but he would live. She touched him, tried to comfort him, tried to make sense of all of this. She pulled a tapestry from the rubble and pressed it into the oozing gash in her brother’s side, saying nothing, but stroking Squeaker’s face. Then, she rose, climbed into the ruined living room and found her bow. She had business to look after. After some digging around, she found her hunting arrows, the ones with the horribly barbed tips, with the barbs pointing in both directions. Once they went in, they were almost impossible to remove, either from pulling or pushing through. She slung her quiver over her shoulder, kneeled down to kiss her brother one last time, touched Dark Eye briefly and wished she had said “I love you” one last time for Dark Eye to hear, and then she wordlessly said goodbye to her family with a wave. Anomie went hunting. She found her prey securing a ship, moving stuff on board. The dead lay all around him. she was a fair distance away, and Anomie had a good shot. She knocked an arrow, let her breath out slowly, and let fly. The arrow struck Tirek in the chest, causing him to bellow and look around. The second arrow struck him just above his navel. Tirek looked down in annoyance at the protruding missile, growled, and ripped it out. His flesh slowly began to heal even as Anomie watched. Anomie felt a sinking feeling, remembering her lessons from Kelphos about regenerators. She needed to get closer and strike a fatal blow, such as decapitation, and then she would need to burn the body somehow. She let fly with another arrow and cried out in grief stricken sorrow, a furious banshee wail. Anomie released a hail of arrows as she approached, each one finding their mark, one of them even going into Tirek’s eye. While they hurt a great deal, none of them actually did much to slow Tirek down. The two combatants neared one another, Tirek brandishing a spear, and Anomie her bow. There was no exchange of pleasantries, no words, no communication other than Anomie’s inhuman snarls. She sank one arrow into Tirek’s throat, which actually slowed the centaur down for a moment. He ripped the arrow free and staggered as he struggled to breathe. The blow, while not fatal, had weakened the fell being. Grunting, Tirek charged, and Anomie did nothing to move, brave and defiant, she stood there, firing off her last arrow as Tirek closed the distance finally between them. The centaur skewered the smaller human female on his spear. Anomie stared down in horror at the spear that had entered her stomach, just below the ribs on the right side. She could feel that it had exited out behind her, also just below her ribs. She glared defiantly up at Tirek, braced herself, summoned her will, and began to push herself forward along the spear, her lips pulled back in a defiant snarl of hatred. “You wish to die bravely little one,” Tirek growled. “So be it.” Anomie pushed forward, feeling the wooden shaft of the spear tugging and pulling at her insides as it traveled through. Tirek leaned into his spear, thrusting it through Anomie, taking cruel pleasure in watching the girl embrace her own death with noble dignity. Finally, the two beings were standing hoof to toe, Anomie now standing inches away from Tirek. With an impossibly fast gesture, she drew her dagger out from behind her and in one fluid motion, slashed at Tirek’s throat, cutting him down to his neckbone, causing his head to tilt unnaturally backwards. The centaur gurgled in surprise, and his spear slipped from his fingers. Anomie staggered away, still skewered. She knew she had little time. “Die!” she spat through bloody lips, the taste of her own blood and feces rising up into her mouth. She stumbled through the shipyard, looking for something, something she knew she needed. She reached a nearby lamp post, and, at its base, there was a barrel. Straining to keep alive long enough to finish her task, she began to drag the barrel back to Tirek’s body, the spear still skewered through her body, acting like a cork. With a final grunt, she tipped the barrel over towards Tirek’s writhing body. The area flooded with lamp oil, drenching Tirek. Anomie stumbled and straddled the equine half of Tirek, reached back towards her dagger sheath, and pulled out a rod of flint. She struck sparks with her dagger, and, in seconds, both of them were ablaze in the ignited lamp oil. The flames spread quickly, consuming the pair as they died, locked in hatred. The fire ignited other things, including the barrel, and soon, most of the shipyard was burning, the flames rising into the sky, a pillar of smoke and fire alerting the other islands that something was terribly wrong. “It wasn’t supposed to end this way,” Discord sobbed as he stared at a marble statue of a human girl holding a bow, a fierce look of determination on her face. “I know,” Celestia replied in a wavering voice. “I actually wanted her to be happy,” Discord confessed. “I know, “ Celestia said sadly. “I wanted her to find love, to be happy, to have a chance to do something good, to be loved… loved. I figured that if something could love her, that maybe you could love me,” Discord said, absolutely heartbroken. “I was afraid if I just said it, you would think I was joking, I had to show you, to make you see, I didn’t know what else to do…” he said, his words fading into whimpers. “i know,” Celestia whispered, pressing her muzzle into the draconequus and weeping. “You knew?” Discord asked, feeling Celestia nuzzling him and taking some small measure of comfort. “It took me a while, but I finally figured it out. I forgive you, and you are loved,” Celestia said. The draconequus responded by whirling around rapidly, throwing his forelegs around Celestia’s neck, hugging her close, and breaking into fresh sobs of grief, unable to look at the statue any longer. The pair held one another in their sorrow, lamenting their shared loss, and taking comfort in one another. Discord howled mournfully, feeling something entirely alien and unknown inside of him, something that even with his thousands of lifetimes he had no words to express as he clung to the large white alicorn. “Don’t ever let me go,” he begged. Celestia wrapped her wings around the serpentine figure and held him close, saying nothing, feeling her own heart soar as she had finally forgiven Discord and let go of her own hatred. Love flooded in to fill the gaping hole left behind by the core of loathing that was now gone. The two figures clung to one another, sobbing, finally letting go of the past, old hurts, and moving into the future, together, finally sharing something in common, the love of a girl. Author's Note Well, this finally became a comedy in the classic Grecian sense, and somebody has died. I almost didn't post this, as the season finale stole my thunder, and brought back Tirek as a villain. But I waited for a while, sitting on my ending, and now, I am going to allow this story to finish with my own take on Tirek, which was started and mostly finished before the season finale aired, if you happen to look at the dates. Leave your comments below, tell me what you think, let me know how much you hate me for this ending, how much I suck, etc. I'm ready for it.
Chapter 1A long serpentine figure walked down the hall, following Celestia, his claws clicking on the tile, his shaggy brown coat shedding hairs and leaving them on the otherwise spotless white marble. He was grinning, and one long pointed fang protruding from under his upper lip. “Just a little harmless wager.” Discord said, goading Celestia. “No.” Celestia said again, firmly. “Oh come on. Winner gets gloating rights. No less, no more.” Discord said in tempting tones. Celestia halted, her wing feathers ruffling. She shot a withering glare at the draconequus. Discord smelled weakness. He smiled a manic rictus. “I think you give your ponies too much credit.” Discord said, hoping to bruise her pride. “Discord, you could never make me doubt the virtuous goodness of my little ponies.” Celestia said, annoyed. She raised a matronly eyebrow at the Lord of Chaos. “So prove it.” Discord snarked. “Prove me wrong.” “Alright. What is this wager.” Celestia said. Discord cackled with glee. He stood up on his hind legs and clapped his paw and his claws together. He cleared his throat. “Very simple actually.” He said in velvet tones. “I do not think all of your little ponies are so goody goody. For all of their supposed love and virtue, they seem to love only ponies. My wager is simple. I do not think your ponies are capable of loving something alien to them. I will find something suitably horrible, summoned up with my magic, and you will find something to love what I summon. It cannot be Twilight Snarkle and her band of diminutive pastel equine cronies. In fact, all of Ponyville is off limits. There are some other conditions, and those will be explained after you agree to this basic condition.” Celestia bit down on her lip. Seemed too simple. All she had to do is agree to that condition and that seemed easy enough. “Very well Discord, I accept that condition. Seems simple enough.” Discord chuckled, rubbing his paw and his claws together, his tail twitching wildly. This had been too easy. “So you accept.” He said, smiling. “Very well, I shall present more of my conditions.” He snapped his claws, causing a loud pop. Something else appeared in the room with them. Celestia stared at what had been summoned. “Discord, I agreed to the conditions, not the wager.” Celestia said in a troubled voice. She began to move towards what now lie on the floor. “You agreed to the condition that I summoned something. Think carefully upon my words.” Discord said, cackling madly. “Discord, send it back.” Celestia commanded. “Are you sure you want me to?” Discord said. “You’d be sentencing it to death.” There was another manic outburst of glee. He pointed to the figure on the floor. “It lies dying, even now as we speak. You can save it Celestia. Give it life. Give it a home. You really think your subjects could love that?” Celestia moved forward. She leaned down and sniffed the figure, her nose crinkling, causing her to jerk her head back. “That is…” Discord paused, “well, the name is no longer important. We shall call her Anomie. She lay dying in her crib, forgotten by her drug addled mother who was busy cooking up a syringe full of drugs in the kitchen. She hasn’t eaten in days. She hasn’t had any water. She is debris, cast aside, thrown out, unloved, uncared for, unwanted. She represents the breakdown of her society. And potentially, yours as well.” Celestia lifted the bundle in her magic, her nose still crinkling from the horrible smell. “Her diaper hasn’t been changed for days.” Discord said, fanning his paw in front of his nose. Celestia pulsed powerful healing magic into the small figure, a dull ache in her heart. She carefully undid the soiled diaper, trying to peel it away from the skin. Ulcerous sores lie under the diaper, impacted with feces. Skin pulled away with the diaper, but the figure did not cry. It was lifeless and limp. Maggots crawled in and out of the ulcers in her skin and through the feces in her diaper. “Discord, this is a human child.” Celestia said through clenched teeth. “I know.” Discord said smugly. “And you should remember what happened the last time I brought a human here. Come on Celestia, you should have predicted this. You are slipping dear.” Celestia whirled on Discord, glaring at him, seething, furious. She continued to peel away the diaper as she did so, carefully, trying not to do any harm. When she had the diaper free from the infant, she hurled it at Discord. It stuck to his face with a splat. “That was very, very immature young filly.” Discord said, magicking the diaper away and making a disgusted face. “I accept your wager.” Celestia hissed angrily. “Speak your terms monster.” “Now now Celestia, flattery will get you everywhere.” Discord said, waving a claw in a dismissive gesture. “The rest of my conditions are as follows. She must be raised to adulthood by a family that genuinely loves her. No magical interference. If you get Cadance involved, I’ll know. And you’ll fail. Should this condition be met, once she reaches a mature age, somepony must fall in love with her. After this condition has been met, she must marry.” Discord deadpanned. “And that is all?” Celestia questioned. “Well, that and consummation of the marriage.” Discord added. “Discord, you and I both know that there are going to be some physical differences that will get in the way of that happening.” Celestia said, still cradling the infant in her magic, warming it, trying to flood life back into it. “And that makes it a challenge.” Discord said, smiling in a very disturbed fashion. “No transmogrification magics. No turning her into a pony. No turning a pony into a human.” “Discord, I cannot accept these conditions.” Celestia said. “So now she is here and you admit defeat.” Discord said. “Very well, I accept your unconditional surrender. I shall prepare to gloat immediately.” “Wait!” Celestia bellowed. “Wait.” She looked thoughtfully at the human infant. “I object to these conditions because of the physical harm it might cause. Discord, be reasonable. What would Fluttershy say if she found out about this wager?” “Don’t you dare!” Discord said, pointing a claw at Celestia. “I’ll never hear the end of this! That’s blackmail!” “As uncomfortable as this might be, I say we find middle grounds. Should love be found and marriage happen, before any consummation we both step in and do a little magical rearrangement. Make things fit. Without either of them knowing it. No harm must come to either, or else the wager is off.” Celestia glared at the chaotic tyrant, her eyes burning. “I guess that is agreeable.” Discord conceded. “But this will never get that far.” “I have faith in my ponies to be good and virtuous creatures.” Celestia said. “Shagging a human is good and virtuous?” Discord said, surprised. “In the right context it can be.” Celestia said, trying to clean the filth from the infant. It was starting to squirm now. “Anomie Discord? Really?” The babe made a faint cry as life flooded into it. “Well, you remember what happened the last time.” Discord said smugly. Celestia sighed in frustration, remembering the last time. She was determined to prevent past mistakes from repeating. She began to flog her brain, trying to think of a plan. She didn’t have a plan, but she had the next best thing. A course of action. She turned to say something to Discord, but he was already gone, off to find mischief elsewhere. “Welcome to Equestria Anomie.” Celestia said to the human infant. She felt a pittance of pity looking at her. Her skin was covered in weeping sores, her bones were visible just under her skin, and her skin had a pale blue waxy appearance. She had gingery red hair and brown eyes. “I really hope you do not live up to your name.” Author's Note Well then, that's that. Tell me what you think. If there is any interest, I'll continue. If not, this might languish. Let me know.
Chapter 2Celestia pondered the infant in the crib. She was getting better. She had regained some colour, gained a tiny bit of weight, and her ulcered flesh had begun to heal. Her hair had stopped falling out. It had been one week since the wager. Discord had returned and left a reminder that the infant must be placed in a loving home. For this, Celestia felt a small mote of gratitude. The child deserved to be loved. “And how is Anomie this day?” Luna inquired, peeking into the crib. “Getting better.” Celestia said in heartbroken tones. “How could a mother do this to her child?” “I cannot say Celestia. But what I can tell you is that I have found a home. A good home. I believe I have found some ponies willing to take her in.” Luna said, smiling down into the crib and crossing her eyes, making a very silly face. “You have?” Celestia said, sounding hopeful. “Anomie shall meet her new mother this evening.” Luna said. “Who?” Celestia asked, her eyes widening in surprise. “Night Fright has agreed to become a surrogate. She is nursing. She has a foal currently.” Luna said, wiggling her ears at the infant. “Night Fright... Lunar pagasi?” Celestia inquired, now puzzled. “Well…” said Luna, “they are omnivores. They are disciplined. And they are willing.” Celestia pursed her lips and became thoughtful. “Night Fright and Charon agreed to raise Anomie.” Luna said. “Charon!” Celestia exclaimed. “I thought Night Fright’s name sounded familiar. Luna, Charon is the Keeper of the Gates of Tartarus!” “Yes. And the island is populated with minotaurs, griffons, lunar pegasi, and a number of hominoids. Anomie will have some company of similar creatures. She will not be so out of place. And she will be raised by ponies, as required by your wager.” Luna looked at her sister, still crosseyed. “Hmm.” Celestia said, ignoring her sister’s eyes. “An entire island of omnivores and meat eaters. Rich in martial culture. Luna, I believe you are on to something.” Luna nodded, uncrossing her eyes. Celestia looked down thoughtfully at Anomie. “I intend to win this wager Luna. I want Discord in his place. I have very mixed feelings about this. On one hoof, he brought a human into Equestria. On the other hoof, he saved her from certain death. Intentional or not, his actions showed a certain sense of charity.” Celestia fell silent for a moment. “Thinking about it, I sort of feel bad for wanting to win this wager so badly. Discord has been making progress.” Luna did not reply. “So she will be raised on Coffin Bone Isle in the Skeleton Keys.” Celestia said, thinking aloud. Luna nodded. It was late, approaching midnight. Celestia had carefully diapered Anomie and had out warm blankets for her to be bundled in. She paced somewhat, waiting, watching the door. Anomie slept fitfully, waking and crying occasionally. Celestia felt a slight pang of regret. Part of her wanted to keep the child. Not that she would admit it to anypony. It was going to be difficult to let go. Celestia heard hooves outside the door and the grunting of the guard. The door opened. Luna entered first, followed by an enormous lunar mare. She was dark, her coat a purple-black, and heavily muscled. Hung from her neck and harnessed to her chest was a tiny foal, looking around with wide eyed wonder. It had oversized tufted ears and its snout was almost pig-like, as some of the lunar pegasi had. It was also painfully adorable Celestia thought to herself. She felt her breath quicken looking at it. The lunar foals were always so adorable, before they grew up into massive shaggy brutes. “Hello again your Majesty” Night Fright said, nodding her head slightly towards Celestia. “Forgive me for not properly bowing. Foal.” “Hello Night Fright. How are you this night?” Celestia replied. “Excited!” Night Fright said, her voice somewhat shrill. She pulled the foal from his carrier, snatching him out by the nape of his neck, and then placed him on the floor gently. He cried a few times and looked up as his mother with hopeful pleading eyes. “He’s hungry.” Night Fright commented. “Could somebody fetch the other babe, and place her at my teats? Might as well get started now.” Night Fright carefully laid down on the floor and rolled over on to her side. “If you cannot pick her up I foresee some problems.” Celestia said, now worried. “At home, we have a minotaur maid. She has the most useful hands. She will be there to assist, but yes, I doubt I could pick it up in my teeth without harm.” Night Fright explained. Luna lifted the babe from the crib with her magic and held it aloft while Celestia laid down a folded blanket for the infant to lie upon. The foal rushed forward to feed, and Night Fright gently shoved it away. He tried again, and received another shove. Luna gently laid the infant down, positioning so that she might nurse, something she took to quickly, her head resting on Night Fright’s hind leg. “I don’t believe in baby bottles.” Night Fright said. “Come here Squeaker.” She gestured at her foal, who sat there looking sullen, a scowl upon his pouting face. Squeaker came forward on wobbling legs, squeaking shrilly, sounding a bit like a tea kettle. He came to his mother’s side, pausing, sniffing at strange infant. His nose trailed up and down her body, snuffling. “You be good.” Night Fright said, her voice now stern. Squeaker continued to sniff, his muzzle snuffling, and then he laid down, pressing himself up against Anomie, his nose searching for the other teat. When he found it, he began to suckle. Celestia heaved a massive sigh of relief. Luna came close, leaning her head down. “So adorable.” She whispered. Squeaker lifted his head, turned to Luna, and hissed loudly, showing his tiny fangs, his ears flat against his skull. Luna cried out and stepped back in alarm. “Good Squeaker!” Night Flight praised. “Sorry your Majesty… I hope you can understand that I cannot scold his protective behaviour.” She looked at Luna, worried. “I am not offended.” Luna said, watching the foal. “He’s a biter.” Night Flight said. “You’re lucky he didn’t clamp down on your nose.” Luna nodded while Celestia chuckled faintly. “Look at him, wrapping his little foreleg over Anomie.” Luna whispered excitedly. “Sister, your faith in our ponies is well placed as always.” “As much as I want to stay and visit, it is a long flight, and I want to be home before dawn. It is cold outside. When she finishes feeding, make sure she is bundled and help me pack her away in the sling with Squeaker. He’ll keep her warm. I suppose she’ll need to be cleaned up when we get home.” Night Fright said. “Calpurnia will help with that.” Celestia raised her eyebrow. “The maid.” Night Fright explained. “Charon is going to be so happy. He likes odd things.” “He found you.” Luna teased. “No, I found him. And scared him nearly to death. I accepted his unconditional surrender right then and there.” Night Fright said, smiling broadly, her fangs showing. “I do not understand.” Celestia queried. “Charon made a public decree that he would only marry a mare that could best him in combat and subdue him.” Luna explained. “Many mares tried. The Keeper is quite a prize. Many mares left disappointed and bloodied.” Luna pointed at Night Fright’s cutie mark, an open fanged mouth. “Night Fright broke in to Charon’s home. She ambushed him while he slept. And she gave one of her special screams right into his ear. Charon wet himself and fell under Night Fright’s spell, which is one of terrible fear, caused by one of her banshee screams. He surrendered and they married.” Celestia shook her head. “I do not understand the lunar pegasi.” “We have different standards.” Night Fright sniffed. “Guile and treachery is just as important as brute force. Night Fright showed that she was a worthy prize and Charon reciprocated.” Luna said. “We didn’t bother waiting to be married.” Night Fright said. “We reciprocated all night and most of the next day.” She licked her lips in a lusty manner. “I tried to take him in combat first, and he gave me a bloody good thumping and sent me on my way. I knew right then and there that I had to have him. I want my foals strong and ready for combat.” “I… I… I do not understand. He beat you bloody?” Celestia asked. “He broke half a dozen ribs and fractured my jaw.” Night Fright said, smiling. “He sent a clear message that he’s the sort of stallion you want fathering your foals.” Celestia began to stammer wordlessly. “After I healed up, I went about bringing him down with guile and treachery. I brought him under my hoof and now he is my possession. Now that I have him, he’s never done so much as even bruised me whilst we enthusiastically try to create foals. Sadly, he’s a bit too gentle. A mare needs a good thrashing now and then.” Night Fright licked one of her fangs after she spoke, her eyes blinking rapidly. “He is your possession?” Celestia inquired in puzzled tones. “Remember sister, lunar pegasi are matriarchal, in honour of our rule. The mares are in charge.” Luna explained. “What am I sending Anomie into?” Celestia said, now worried. “A loving home.” Night Fright said defensively. “I am not doubting that.” Celestia said diplomatically. “I am just very afraid of the future. There is so much at stake.” “I could imagine.” Night Flight said. “I know my history. I know what the first human did.” “So then you understand my concerns.” Celestia said. “Like griffons, maybe not all humans are bad.” Night Fright said. “Look how long it took to build trust and allow the peaceful griffons to live within our borders.” “I hope you are right. I’ve peered into human realms. I did not care for what I saw.” Celestia said, her tone solemn. “Human or not, we intend to raise Anomie with our values.” Night Fright said. Celestia couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or not. Author's Note Next chapter, we get to meet Charon and settle into Anomie's new home.
Chapter 3Charon looked down at Anomie. He studied her, sniffing her, running his nose all up and down her arms, and then finally, he pressed his nose into her belly and snuffled a few times, causing Anomie to squirm. Night Fright stood close by, looking nervous, Squeaker by her side. Charon’s tongue came out, and licked Anomie’s ear, he paused, looking thoughtful, his eyes closed. He pressed his nose back down upon her head and continued to sniff. “I can’t smell what I am seeking.” Charon said. Night Fright looked puzzled. “Evil.” Charon blurted out. “Humans are supposed to be evil. And I can’t smell the presence of evil anywhere upon her. I can smell you, the princesses, Squeaker, Calpurnia, and a few things I don’t recognise, but I can’t detect a single flicker of evil anywhere, and believe me, I was thorough.” “Is that what you were doing?” Night Fright asked. “I am the gatekeeper. It is my job to find evil and determine threats.” Charon said, shrugging. “Anomie has an absense of it. Maybe it will develop later. But I doubt it. She seems so fragile and harmless. Then again, I am sure he seemed that way at one time.” Charon leaned down and planted his lips on Anomie’s forehead, leaving behind a wet smooch. “You are a strange pony.” Night Fright commented. “Look, you pursued me. You knew what you were in for.” Charon replied, smiling, his fangs showing. “Calpurnia, what do you think?” “You are a strange pony.” Calpurnia responded, smiling. The minotaur cow stood waiting, watching Anomie, curious about the tiny hominid with a body so similar to her own. Charon grunted in annoyance. “So hard to get good help.” “I am the best help you’ve ever had.” Calpurnia retorted. “Do you know what I have to put up with? I have to open up the door all the time and play a gracious host to all manner of things. Psychopomps, demiurges, small gods, large gods, polymorphic manifestations of primordial powers, chaos entities, and now I am about to nanny that!” She pointed at Anomie. “I want to see you find a maid that will put up with everything I do!” Charon grinned broadly, having aroused the ire of the maid, one of his favourite pastimes. Seeing his grin, Calpurnia mooed in annoyance, and then flounced out of the room. “I guess Calpurnia is in a bad moo-od.” Charon said, causing Night Fright to cringe. “Gah! No puns! Not in front of the foals!” Night Fright demanded. “I will not be cowed.” Charon said sternly. “Ugh, no more.” Night Fright pleaded. Charon kissed his mate warmly, pressing up against her side, his tail brushing up against hers, leaning on her much larger body. After a long passionate moment, he pulled away and smacked his lips in an exaggerated fashion. The two of them gazed upon the infant and the foal, now curled up together, Squeaker covering Anomie with his wing. His eyes opened and he yawned, revealing a mouth full of teeth and a long orange tongue, and then he closed his mouth and his eyes, his head settling to rest beside Anomie’s. “I think I like her. Squeaker seems to like her. You seem to like her. She will fit in well in our family I think.” Charon whispered, not wanting to wake the sleeping pair. “Squeaker nearly took a chunk out of Luna when she drew near Anomie.” Night Fright confessed in a low voice. “Good Squeaker.” Charon whispered. “He is so much like you.” Night Fright said. “One day he will be the next keeper and inherit my name.” Charon replied. “Just as I inherited my title from my father.” Night Fright nodded, reveling in her mate’s warmth, his body still pressed against her side, his scent strong in her nostrils. “Let’s go to bed.” Charon nodded, and the both of them left the room. “So, I take it Anomie has found a home.” Discord said, his voice lacking in his usual sarcasm, his face strangely blank. Celestia could swear that she heard a tone of relief in his voice. She seized upon this weakness and raised an eyebrow smugly, looking Discord in the eye. Celestia felt a surge of pride as the draconequus looked away, avoiding her stare. “So now we have to see if she is loved.” Discord announced, slumping slightly. “How do we determine love. I feel it needs a definition of some sort, a common exchange of understanding between two minds.” For a brief moment, fear gripped Celestia. She hadn’t expected this. It seemed perfectly reasonable though. “So we have to define what love is.” Celestia said. “That is easier said than done.” Discord rubbed his paw and his talons together. “I am at a weakness here, I will confess.” Discord proffered. “Trust is important.” Celestia said. “How does one measure trust?” Discord asked. “You must leave yourself open and vulnerable and then trust that the one you love will not do harm. You show somepony all of you, even the bad parts, and then trust that they will accept you, both the good and the bad.” Celestia said, her gaze falling upon some invisible point on the ceiling, her head turned upward in concentration. “How do we measure that in a family?” Discord inquired, confused. “I am not sure yet.” Celestia replied. “We have plenty of time I suppose.” Discord began to pace, his paw and his talons folded behind his back, his face thoughtful. “Determining love is going to be complicated.” “Love isn’t always easy to see, but you will know it when you see it.” Celestia offered. “That is illogical!” Discord snarked. “You… Chaos incarnate dare say something is illogical?” Celestia said, more than a little sarcasm flooding into her voice. Discord froze in place, his mouth moving but no words coming forth. “Gotcha.” Celestia crowed. Discord pulled out a sheet of paper and made a mark, scowling and muttering as he did so. After making a mark, he snapped his talons and the paper vanished. “What was that?” Asked Celestia. “The scorecard.” Replied Discord. “Ha!” Celestia laughed. “Hey, I trusted you enough to play fair during this wager.” Discord muttered, his features now sullen. Celestia eyed him curiously, now feeling a dreadful sense of fear that she could not explain, something about Discord’s words chilling her marrow.
Chapter 4Night Fright looked down at her children, a frown her most prominent feature. Two were bat winged shaggy horrible little monsters. One was ginger haired and freckled, and not at all like her siblings, with one exception. All three of them were covered in mud. “Squeaker, Starling, Anomie, what am I to do with you?” Night Fright asked. The foals squirmed uncomfortably, Anomie’s fingers curled around their manes, one hand on each of her siblings. Night Fright surveyed the front room, now covered in mud, the mud fight had been brought indoors. There was mud on the ceiling of all places. Anomie began to sniffle under Night Fright’s punishing gaze. “Oh no you don’t! I’m not falling for that again.” Night Fright said, causing Anomie’s sniffles to trail off. “Your little hands are the main perpetrators of this mess. Mudballs Anomie, really?” “There was no snow?” Anomie replied, squirming, poking the floor with her muddy big toe, and casting her eyes downward. “And Squeaker, you are the oldest. You are responsible for keeping your siblings out of trouble. You slung mud at your sisters. Your sisters! Your beautiful delicate sisters that you are obligated to protect and keep from trouble!” Night Fright gave her colt foal a well practiced stink eye. Squeaker squeaked loudly and shrank away from his mother’s gaze. “Starling, I don’t even know where to begin with you. As a female you have a duty and an obligation to a certain model of behavior. And you have failed in your duty!” Night Fright scowled, her teeth bared. Starling squealed pitifully and fell over on to her side with a wet muddy splat, her face covered by one of her wings, cowering from her mother’s glare. Anomie dropped to her knees and tried to comfort her fallen sister, spreading more mud everywhere she touched. “I started it, punish me.” Anomie begged, her body over her sister. “I started it.” Squeaker admitted. “I got a muddy hoof and I flung it at Starling.” “Liar!” Anomie shouted. “I did it.” Night Fright studied her foals, now wondering who actually started it. Not that it mattered. All of them had engaged in muddy combat. Brutal muddy combat. Anomie was wearing a mud mask and her hair was spiky with mud. Squeaker was breathing through his mouth, his piggish nostrils corked with mud. Starling’s wings were practically caked to her body, a heavy cast of mud around her barrel. Night Fright could hear Calpurnia’s heavy breathing behind her, punctuated by taurine snorting. Night Fright heard Calpurnia’s knuckles cracking, a worrisome sign. “I am not going to punish you.” Night Fright announced. There was a sigh of relief from two foals and one human. “Calpurnia, you may have the satisfaction of punishing them however you see fit.” Night Fright quipped. “They have muddied the front room you work so hard to keep clean. You are not to be merciful.” The foals shrieked and the small human girl clung to her siblings in fear, all of them had their eyes wide open in real terror, Squeaker beginning to squeak with each drawn breath. “Your little plots are MINE!” Calpurnia shouted. Calpurnia scooped up the two foals under one arm, and Anomie under the other. “We begin with a bath.” Calpurnia ignored the pleading whimpers and cries. “Hot water, extra soap!” Anomie went limp in Calpurnia’s grasp, her body slumping as it hung from Calpurnia’s arm. Anomie had the amazing ability to become nearly boneless, limp, and seemingly helpless, her best natural defense. Calpurnia had learned how to handle Anomie’s boneless mass long ago. “After have a bath, you will help me clean up this mud. And since you are bound to become dirty from the cleaning, there will be another bath.” Squeaker let out a pitiful bat-pig-like squeal and began to kick his little legs, the whites of his eyes in sharp contrast to his mud covered face. “Mother!” Squeaker begged. Night Fright turned tail and left the room, leaving her offspring to a terrible fate. “Have you learned anything?” Charon asked his offspring There was no reply. None could meet their father’s gaze. “I asked you a question.” Charon stated, his voice emotionless. “I’ve learned that I should respect my sisters bodies.” Squeaker squeaked. Charon turned his baleful gaze to his colt foal, causing Squeaker to sink down in his seat, trying to hide under the table. “I have learned that my sister’s bodies are sacred and that I am to never violate them or cause them to come to harm, or allow them to be harmed through my own inaction.” Squeaker said, correcting his previous words. “My actions today caused them to be punished, which means I have brought harm upon them. For this I am sorry.” Charon nodded slightly, and after he did so, Calpurnia placed a portion of food on Squeaker’s plate. Charon turned his gaze to Starling. “And you?” Starling did not meet her father’s gaze. She looked briefly at her brother, then at Anomie, and finally down at her own empty plate. “Starling?” Charon inquired. “I failed to inspire my siblings to noble behavior. I failed to lead by example. I failed in my responsibility as female to behave in a manner befitting my station.” As Starling spoke, a few tears squeezed from her eyes. Charon nodded at Calpurnia, who added food to Starling’s plate. “Anomie?” Charon inquired, turning his gaze upon her. “I learned that my hands are really good for throwing mud balls...” Anomie said in a low whisper, her eyes now locked on Charon’s own glittering orbs. “It might not be the answer you want, but it is something I learned.” Charon’s ears folded back against his skull and a low rumbling sigh rattled out of his barrel. He stroked his chin with a wing knuckle, his eyes narrowing and his nostrils flaring. “I’ve also learned that a swat acrossed my bare backside hurts a lot more than a swat does when I am wearing britches.” Anomie added. Squeaker and Starling both looked at Anomie, their faces pleading with her to fess up. “I’ve also learned that I am willing to endure two baths and a few hours of cleaning for a half an hour of having fun in the mud, and I am willing to accept my consequences, no matter what they might be. There is a price for everything and I shouldn’t be afraid to pay it.” Anomie looked away from Charon and down at her own empty plate. “And I figure I am going to go to bed hungry as the price for speaking my mind. I accept that.” Charon nodded at Calpurnia once more, and she filled Anomie’s plate with food. “Always be prepared to accept the consequences for what you have done.” Charon commanded. “It is a lesson just as important as any other.” “So little Anomie has grown.” Discord paced in Celestia’s throne room, his paw and his talons folded behind his back. “Yes, she has,” agreed Celestia, “and Charon believes her to be a good girl, even if she is willful sometimes, and has a constant need to push the boundaries of what is acceptable. She resists authority and constantly strives against the limits imposed by her parents and her school tutors.” “Is she still loved?” Discord’s words seemed worried, concerned, his brow furrowed, his tail twitched restlessly as he paced. “Of course she is,” replied Celestia, “even if she is sometimes a troublemaker, she means well. Ponies love her, make no mistake.” “So… Even if something is a troublemaker, and has done bad things, it can still be loved if somepony choses to do so. Interesting.” Discord stood scratching his chin, having removed his paw from behind his back, still pacing around the room as Celestia sat on her throne. “So tell me Celestia, if Anomie has been in trouble, and ponies are currently angry with her, how does she know if she is still loved?” Celestia smiled. “That is easy,” said Celestia, “she knows that no matter how much she might need to be punished for what she has done, she can trust them to punish her for the things she did and still be loved afterwards. Love means not being afraid of consequences. Easier said than done when you are young, but as a mature adult, you can look back, reflect upon your time when you were young, and know that you were loved.” “I see.” Discord blinked rapidly, his face thoughtful. “Celestia, I’ve done awful things. Things I should answer for. I must confess, there are times when I feel ashamed. I worry constantly if I am accepted and if you, er, ponies can forgive me what I have done.” Celestia felt an odd prickle of fear once again, and a faint heat behind her cheeks. She looked at her visitor and found she could say nothing.
Chapter 5“Oh gosh, I’m almost late!” Anomie cried. She turned at looked at her siblings and her playmate, wishing they could come with her, and knowing that they could not. This was a private affair, a rite of passage, a sign of growing up. She was nervous, and her palms were sweaty. “Good luck.” Dark Eye said, her unseeing eyes staring off into the distance, not seeing Anomie. The blind lunar pegasus had other ways of seeing though. “Choose wisely.” Squeaker said, nodding his head. “Make mother proud.” Starling quipped. Anomie nodded, touching each them one last time, and then took off sprinting to the barracks, where she was to meet with Kelphos the minotaur. Anomie stood staring at the weapon rack, looking at the different weapons used by the minotaurs, trying to settle her mind and choose wisely. The choice was difficult. There was the mace, a brutal and effective weapon, but she doubted she would ever be strong enough to use one effectively. There was the axe, a useful weapon for cleaving and chopping, useful for hacking through armor. The spear, with reach and many uses, from poking and prodding, to smashing and crushing with the blunted end. And then there were swords of all shapes and sizes. She pondered all of these choices, including some of the more exotic weapons, With trembling hands, she carefully reached out and selected a weapon from the rack, and turning on her heel, she walked with slow careful grace to a table and picked up a second weapon. “Is this to be your selection?” Kelphos asked, looking down at her sternly. Kelphos was massive, impressively large even by minotaur standards, his shoulders as wide as a pony was long. Anomie looked down at her hands, carefully considering her choices, examining them, feeling them in her hands, and she slowly nodded her head, causing her long ginger ponytail to bob as she did so, her face as solemn as the situation demanded. “I must say, I am somewhat surprised.” Kelphos studied Anomie as he spoke. “Would you care to explain my little fire haired terror?” Anomie suddenly felt afraid, worrying she had chosen badly, and then she remembered Calpurnia’s words… there were no bad choices. She looked up at Calpurnia’s husband and screwed her courage to the sticking place. “I already use the bow. I am good with a bow. And I will continue to become better with the bow. I chose the dagger because it is small and light, and I can strike quickly, playing to my strengths, which are speed and cunning. I’d rather never be in a situation where the dagger is needed. I chose the whip because it compliments the reasons for my dagger. It will keep foes away from me, afraid of what I might do. After I turn them into a pincushion, I can rip the arrows out of them if they draw close, adding insult to their injury.” Anomie hafted the dagger, testing its balance, giving a slight flip and catching it by the blade, the tested the balance once again and threw it, lodging it into the wooden beam that held up one end of the weapon rack. Kelphos looked impressed, raising one eyebrow, the corner of his mouth turning upwards, his long fingers flexing. “You are now without a dagger,” Kelphos chuckled, “thankfully you have your wits.” Kelphos lunged suddenly and swiftly, his massive fist coming down towards Anomie like meteor streaking down out of the heavens. His fist struck nothing, Anomie had cartwheeled away, and was now in a defensive crouch, the whip uncoiled. “Don’t make me turn this into a bullwhip.” Anomie warned. There was no playful tone in her voice. Her eyes were narrowed and fierce. She also had her dagger. She is quick Kelphos thought to himself. Kelphos stood up straight, his fist unflexing. He bowed slightly, looking down at his student. He smiled broadly. Anomie did not relax her stance. “Your mother will be proud of you,” said Kelphos. Only then did Anomie relax, taking a deep breath, allowing her dagger to fall to her side, still clutched in her hand. “We will find you a real dagger. Not some training poker,” Kelphos offered. “Thank you sir,” Anomie replied. “How did it go?” asked Dark Eye. “What did you choose?” inquired Squeaker. “Did Kelphos approve?” queried Starling. “It went well. I made a wise choice and Kelphos agreed. I chose the dagger and the whip, two weapons I felt comfortable with,” replied Anomie. Dark Eye hugged Anomie with her wings, pulling the human girl in close. Anomie wrapped her arms around Dark Eye’s neck, and gave an ear a gentle tug. As Anomie squeezed Dark Eye, she felt her siblings press in against her, squishing her pleasantly. “Anomie, you’re growing soft places on your chest, just like the minotaurs,” Dark Eye said as Anomie was squished against her. Anomie froze in embarrassment, her new growth the source of a lot of troubling feelings for her. She was at a difficult age to be a girl. A lot of things were happening. She felt Dark Eye nuzzle her softly and then felt very confused and self conscious. “My little sister is growing up,” Squeaker said. “I’m glad that Kelphos did not squash you again Anomie,” Starling quipped. “It seems our little girl is becoming a warrior. Seems odd, you allowing her to be trained in weapons that could maim or kill your little ponies.” Celestia eyed Discord, studying him, watching his ever changing facial features. “Charon says in his letter that Anomie is a skilled archer too,” Discord added. “What if she hunts ponies?” “Sometimes, you have to trust that just because somepony can hurt somepony else that they will not. Anomie has to grow up and become something, and she is growing up, make no mistake. It is my hope that she will defend my little ponies. Her chaotic instincts seem to be focused and contained,” said Celestia. “But how can you trust her?” asked Discord. “I have no choice. I have to allow her to be free and hope she makes the right choices,” Celestia replied. “Like me?” inquired Discord. “Yes, like you. You have great power and I have no choice but to trust you that you will not do harm again,” Celestia answered. “Yes, but how can you do that? I’ve done such bad things! You’d have to be a fool to trust me, I wouldn’t trust me!” Discord shouted. “Anomie is proving to be quite different than the first human in our lands… and you have changed a great deal,” soothed Celestia. “Are we friends?” asked Discord. “I suppose we are now,” answered Celestia slowly. “These talks have changed much between us.” Discord looked relieved. “I have wanted to be your… friend for quite some time,” said Discord, his tail twitching nervously. Once again, Celestia felt an odd sense of alarm.
Chapter 6“Alright class, today the last lesson is about one of Equestria’s terrible villains, a human by the name of Tirek. Can anybody in class tell me who he was, what he did, and what his fate was?” The older griffon paced around the classroom after his question, looking around at his students expectantly, waiting for some kind of reply. The fire haired girl known as Anomie couldn’t help but feel that Silverskald’s eyes lingered a little too long on her. The griffon looked at her, yes, was most definitely looking at her, and Anomie couldn’t help but feel that she was about to learn a lesson about the other human that had been in Equestria. When the class did not reply, Silverskald did not seem surprised. He fluffed out his wings a bit, clacked his talons in the floor, and made clicking sounds with his beak. “I am guessing that Tirek was a human…” answered Anomie hesitantly. “Very good deduction Anomie. He started out that way,” replied Silverskald. “So what happened?” asked Anomie. “Tirek came to Equestria during the Chaos Conflict. Discord and the Royal Sisters had reached a bit of a stalemate. The war had reached a lull. Neither side was really more powerful than the other. Discord discovered he could reach into other realms with his magic, something that is assumed he learned by mistake. Discord reached into another realm and plucked out another being of pure chaos. A human. A man named Tirek. Tirek came into Equestria and became a plaything of Discord. But Tirek was not content to be a plaything of Discord, he wanted real power. Eventually, Tirek broke free of Discord’s control. After doing so, he made a deal with a fell being, and was able to use magic. Dark foul sorcery. This was not enough. He grew jealous of the Royal Sisters and their power, and sought a way to corrupt harmony magic for his own use. A failed experiment twisted and corrupted his body, making him half pony and half human, something called a centaur,” Silverskald paused to take a deep breath, and then continued; “a centaur, which has a pony body from the human waist downwards, and a human body sprouting from where the neck is. This new form allowed Tirek to harness twisted and corrupted harmony magics, and he almost destroyed the world as we know it. He became so powerful that he even became a threat to Discord. Discord and the Royal Sisters declared a temporary truce to combine forces and work together to deal with Tirek. Eventually, Tirek was defeated, but he could not be killed. He was bound in Tartarus where he remains to this day,” finished Silverskald. “Is this why everything is afraid of me?” asked Anomie. “I am not afraid of you,” replied Silverskald. “That does not answer my question,” retorted Anomie. “Your question included the word everything Anomie. And there are lots of things that are not afraid of you, but trust you with their lives. Anyhow, class is over. Get out of here. Go have a pleasant day,” said Silverskald. Confusing things happened sometimes, they happened just out of the blue, seemingly for no reason at all, and the best you could do was roll with the punches and continue to move on, trying to make sense of everything after it had happened. There was no making sense of this. No, there was no making sense of this at all. It was simply too confusing, and Anomie felt a hot hot heat burning through her body. She stared at Dark Eye blankly, trying to figure out what had happened, what had taken place, and Dark Eye blinked her sightless eyes and waited for Anomie to come up to speed. The kiss had been very confusing. The aftermath was about to become even more so. The two of them had been in the garden after school, Anomie had been reading something to Dark Eye, and then, quite unexpectedly, Dark Eye had moved swiftly and surely and had planted a wet kiss on Anomie’s lips. The first kiss for either of them. And it had not been an innocent kiss. There had been some exploration on Dark Eyes’s part. “How, why…” stammered Anomie, standing up and stepping backwards, still tasting pony slobber, a bit of drool running down from the corner of her mouth, which she quickly wiped away with the back of her hand. “Your voice, I like it. Your mind infatuates me,” confessed Dark Eye, the blind lunar pegasus, who was now pressing her advantage on the surprised and somewhat stunned Anomie. “Oh,” gasped Anomie. Anomie froze as Dark Eye’s muzzle trailed over her budding breasts, sniffling and snuffling, taking in her scent, and then, Dark Eye’s nose began to travel downward. After a slow teasing descent, Dark Eye pressed her muzzle into Anomie’s groin and inhaled deeply. “Your scent is different, but I still think I detect arousal. Do you like me Anomie?” asked Dark Eye, a faint tremor of fear now in her voice. “Or have I made a mistake?” she asked. “I uh, well, you’re still my friend, this hasn’t changed that, but uh, I am not sure what to make of it, you caught me off guard. I’ve never thought about you as anything other than my friend,” confessed Anomie after a stammering start. “I don’t see a world full of ponies, or griffons, or minotaurs. I just hear voices. And know minds. Sure, your body is weird and odd, but I can’t actually see it. But I do like what I have touched. Like a moment ago, I like how it felt when I ran my nose over your soft flesh on your chest, your breasts, I like how the skin gave way when I pressed my nose in,” said Dark Eye. Anomie realised the lunar pegasus was baring her soul, and Anomie had nothing particularly heartfelt to say. She panicked slightly, not wanting her friend to feel hurt. Friend? The lines had blurred, Anomie wasn’t certain about anything at the moment. “And I like you Anomie, I like you a great deal, I like who you are. Well, I think I love you actually, hard to tell, there is a bad case of infatuation that has built up, and I’ve been wrestling with it for a long time now, almost a year now, and today I just had to take the risk,” explained Dark Eye. Anomie struggled with what to do next. She didn’t have a clue. “And you don’t seem to be responding to it very well, so I guess we have awkward times ahead of us as we try and go back to being friends and put this behind us. I do hope we can put this behind us, I’ll not make the same mistake twice,” promised Dark Eye. Anomie had never been particularly gifted with fancy words or a overly swift mind. She was bright, she was clever, but she was failing in this situation. There was only one thing to do. She dropped down onto her knees, grabbed Dark Eye by her long tufted ears, and hauled her in for another kiss, causing the alarmed and surprised pegasus to emit a high pitched squeal and a series of clicks as Dark Eye echolocated, trying to figure out what was going on. And then, in the final moment, Anomie clamped down on Dark Eyes’s lip with her teeth, as no proper display of affection between lunar pegasi took place without a hint of savagery. The flustered girl pulled away from the breathless pegasus, her face hot, blood coursing through her veins, her hands still tightly gripping Dark Eye’s ears. Anomie saw her mother through the kitchen window and nearly panicked. She felt her bowels nearly turn to water. Lunar pegasi were the very best and the very worst of mothers. But Night Fright was smiling broadly, serenely, and didn’t seem upset by this at all. She saw her mother give a little nod, one eye winking, and Anomie felt a surge of gratitude. Anomie’s distraction was a terrible blunder, as Dark Eye pushed forward and pinned her to the earth, pressing down upon her, asserting dominance. There was a single painful nip on the shoulder that caused Anomie to yelp, and Anomie was never one to back down from a display of dominance. She used her secret weapon, fingers. Fingers that could tickle. Dark Eye would learn her place soon enough. “You know Luna, I think I am going to win this wager,” said Celestia, barely able to contain her excitement. “From the letters, it does seem that you have an advantage at the moment, but remember sister, this is young love. Things change. Infatuations sometime fade away,” replied Luna. “This certainly fixes a lot of problems, Anomie falling in love with a filly. I don’t have to worry about her being hurt by certain physical acts, but I do understand that the lunar pegasi courtship rituals can be a little bloody,” said Celestia, a faint hint of worry in her voice. “Yes, Calpurnia had to stitch up Anomie’s backside after one particularly affectionate nip. Rotten little plot nippers, the lot of them,” Luna said, pondering her lunar pegasi. “You will now be unbearable to be around now that you think you’ve won.” muttered Discord, who could practically feel Celestia gloating. Celestia said nothing, but smiled broadly, her eyes wide and flashing with excitement. “You know, this must be particularly sweet for Anomie, finding love. Being the only one of her kind in this world, finding something that saw past what she was on the outside and loving her for what she was on the inside has to be almost magical. She is a very lucky little girl,” said Discord softly, sounding almost depressed, his body slumping, his tail thudding to the floor and laying still. Celestia felt like she had just been punched in the navel, all of her good mood suddenly gone. Discord looked truly awful, and Celestia had the dreadful feeling he wasn’t acting. “I suppose you have this one in the bag old girl. And with no messy physical complications to consummate the marriage to boot. Well, provided that young love lasts, which I am sure it will. Anomie and her insufferable aspirations towards noble gestures,” grumbled Discord. Celestia was feeling unbelievably bad. She didn’t know why. Discord was taking this in the worst way possible, and it was hurting her to see him this way. And Celestia had no clue why. Seeing him in pain was causing Celestia a physical sensation of pain, deep in her barrel, and it unnerved her. “Cheer up Discord, losing isn’t so bad. One of us had to win this wager. You saved a little girl from a fate worse than death, she is happy, she is loved, and she has found love. Can’t you take comfort in that?” asked Celestia. Discord did not respond. He simply stared at Celestia, a broken expression on his face, looking at her pleadingly. Celestia was about to say something to comfort the draconequus when he vanished, leaving behind something on the floor. Celestia eyed it closely, and realised it was a small damp place where something wet had fallen. Celestia suddenly had the feeling that she had done something very, very wrong, but for the life of her, could not figure out what it was. She went off to find Luna, hoping her sister could help her sort out this mess. Some things were simply too confusing to make them out as they happened. Author's Note This was never meant to be a long story, and it rapidly approaches its conclusion.
Chapter 7The day had started off like every other day, with the everyday commonplace routines of life taking place as they always had. But then, the day had changed. The routine and commonplace gave way to unusual and extraordinary, as unique circumstances allowed the unthinkable to happen. Anomie rose slowly and struggled to her feet, clutching the back of her head, she could feel the blood trickling through her fingers as she pressed her hand to her split scalp. She gazed around her, stunned and unable to take in every horrible thing she saw. The front half of the house was gone, crumbled away. Bodies lay in the rubble. Up the road was the gate, and Cerberus lay dead, one of his heads having rolled quite some distance away. Charon’s headless corpse had fallen not too far from Cerebus. Night Fright had died shortly after Charon fell, her front legs ripped from her body before she was thrown into the wall, causing some of the house to crumble. Dark Eye’s lifeless body lay partially buried under the rubble, her wings twisted and broken into unnatural angles. Calpurnia was nowhere to be found, but was probably dead like the others. Starling had been skewered on a fencepost and had died from her impalement. Squeaker made a few plaintive whimpers though, and Anomie moved to her brother’s side. He was ripped open, bleeding, but he would live. She touched him, tried to comfort him, tried to make sense of all of this. She pulled a tapestry from the rubble and pressed it into the oozing gash in her brother’s side, saying nothing, but stroking Squeaker’s face. Then, she rose, climbed into the ruined living room and found her bow. She had business to look after. After some digging around, she found her hunting arrows, the ones with the horribly barbed tips, with the barbs pointing in both directions. Once they went in, they were almost impossible to remove, either from pulling or pushing through. She slung her quiver over her shoulder, kneeled down to kiss her brother one last time, touched Dark Eye briefly and wished she had said “I love you” one last time for Dark Eye to hear, and then she wordlessly said goodbye to her family with a wave. Anomie went hunting. She found her prey securing a ship, moving stuff on board. The dead lay all around him. she was a fair distance away, and Anomie had a good shot. She knocked an arrow, let her breath out slowly, and let fly. The arrow struck Tirek in the chest, causing him to bellow and look around. The second arrow struck him just above his navel. Tirek looked down in annoyance at the protruding missile, growled, and ripped it out. His flesh slowly began to heal even as Anomie watched. Anomie felt a sinking feeling, remembering her lessons from Kelphos about regenerators. She needed to get closer and strike a fatal blow, such as decapitation, and then she would need to burn the body somehow. She let fly with another arrow and cried out in grief stricken sorrow, a furious banshee wail. Anomie released a hail of arrows as she approached, each one finding their mark, one of them even going into Tirek’s eye. While they hurt a great deal, none of them actually did much to slow Tirek down. The two combatants neared one another, Tirek brandishing a spear, and Anomie her bow. There was no exchange of pleasantries, no words, no communication other than Anomie’s inhuman snarls. She sank one arrow into Tirek’s throat, which actually slowed the centaur down for a moment. He ripped the arrow free and staggered as he struggled to breathe. The blow, while not fatal, had weakened the fell being. Grunting, Tirek charged, and Anomie did nothing to move, brave and defiant, she stood there, firing off her last arrow as Tirek closed the distance finally between them. The centaur skewered the smaller human female on his spear. Anomie stared down in horror at the spear that had entered her stomach, just below the ribs on the right side. She could feel that it had exited out behind her, also just below her ribs. She glared defiantly up at Tirek, braced herself, summoned her will, and began to push herself forward along the spear, her lips pulled back in a defiant snarl of hatred. “You wish to die bravely little one,” Tirek growled. “So be it.” Anomie pushed forward, feeling the wooden shaft of the spear tugging and pulling at her insides as it traveled through. Tirek leaned into his spear, thrusting it through Anomie, taking cruel pleasure in watching the girl embrace her own death with noble dignity. Finally, the two beings were standing hoof to toe, Anomie now standing inches away from Tirek. With an impossibly fast gesture, she drew her dagger out from behind her and in one fluid motion, slashed at Tirek’s throat, cutting him down to his neckbone, causing his head to tilt unnaturally backwards. The centaur gurgled in surprise, and his spear slipped from his fingers. Anomie staggered away, still skewered. She knew she had little time. “Die!” she spat through bloody lips, the taste of her own blood and feces rising up into her mouth. She stumbled through the shipyard, looking for something, something she knew she needed. She reached a nearby lamp post, and, at its base, there was a barrel. Straining to keep alive long enough to finish her task, she began to drag the barrel back to Tirek’s body, the spear still skewered through her body, acting like a cork. With a final grunt, she tipped the barrel over towards Tirek’s writhing body. The area flooded with lamp oil, drenching Tirek. Anomie stumbled and straddled the equine half of Tirek, reached back towards her dagger sheath, and pulled out a rod of flint. She struck sparks with her dagger, and, in seconds, both of them were ablaze in the ignited lamp oil. The flames spread quickly, consuming the pair as they died, locked in hatred. The fire ignited other things, including the barrel, and soon, most of the shipyard was burning, the flames rising into the sky, a pillar of smoke and fire alerting the other islands that something was terribly wrong. “It wasn’t supposed to end this way,” Discord sobbed as he stared at a marble statue of a human girl holding a bow, a fierce look of determination on her face. “I know,” Celestia replied in a wavering voice. “I actually wanted her to be happy,” Discord confessed. “I know, “ Celestia said sadly. “I wanted her to find love, to be happy, to have a chance to do something good, to be loved… loved. I figured that if something could love her, that maybe you could love me,” Discord said, absolutely heartbroken. “I was afraid if I just said it, you would think I was joking, I had to show you, to make you see, I didn’t know what else to do…” he said, his words fading into whimpers. “i know,” Celestia whispered, pressing her muzzle into the draconequus and weeping. “You knew?” Discord asked, feeling Celestia nuzzling him and taking some small measure of comfort. “It took me a while, but I finally figured it out. I forgive you, and you are loved,” Celestia said. The draconequus responded by whirling around rapidly, throwing his forelegs around Celestia’s neck, hugging her close, and breaking into fresh sobs of grief, unable to look at the statue any longer. The pair held one another in their sorrow, lamenting their shared loss, and taking comfort in one another. Discord howled mournfully, feeling something entirely alien and unknown inside of him, something that even with his thousands of lifetimes he had no words to express as he clung to the large white alicorn. “Don’t ever let me go,” he begged. Celestia wrapped her wings around the serpentine figure and held him close, saying nothing, feeling her own heart soar as she had finally forgiven Discord and let go of her own hatred. Love flooded in to fill the gaping hole left behind by the core of loathing that was now gone. The two figures clung to one another, sobbing, finally letting go of the past, old hurts, and moving into the future, together, finally sharing something in common, the love of a girl. Author's Note Well, this finally became a comedy in the classic Grecian sense, and somebody has died. I almost didn't post this, as the season finale stole my thunder, and brought back Tirek as a villain. But I waited for a while, sitting on my ending, and now, I am going to allow this story to finish with my own take on Tirek, which was started and mostly finished before the season finale aired, if you happen to look at the dates. Leave your comments below, tell me what you think, let me know how much you hate me for this ending, how much I suck, etc. I'm ready for it.
