A Dim Twilight

by FlutterAngel

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sad, Princess Luna, Spike, Tragedy, Discord, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 7247

Twilight deals with the grief of losing her friends, turning into a hollow shell of the bright pony she once was.

It's been just a little over two hundred years after the death of Princess Twilight's closest friends. Not only were they the other Elements of Harmony who saved Equestria, but they were some of the closest groups of friends a pony could find. For some, coping with a loved one's death can be an easy and manageable feat; For Twilight however, it is impossible to cope with. Now grudges have grown, festering against certain ponies because of it. No one, not even Spike has been capable of cheering her up. Getting her to her senses, getting her to even smile has proved to be an insurmountable task. Now the only question on most ponies’ minds is: Will Princess Twilight be capable of getting over their deaths or will she sink into a pit of despair and forever be lost in a maze of depressed, and if so, what possible harm could this cause herself and others...?

Published 2017-06-22 04:50:11 UTC
Last updated 2017-09-11 15:28:23 UTC

A Princess in Distress

A magical purple aura lit a framed photo as the sound of ignited magic filed the silent room. The photo was about the size of a school folder and had five elderly mares surrounding an alicorn smiling as they huddled and faced forward with a smile on their face. The lavender alicorn sighed as she started staring at the picture intently as memories of the times the group had spent together filled her head.

Her once straight, long mane was now a mass of tangled, knotted hair that looked as though it had not been tended to in quite a long time. Her violet eyes had large, dark bags under them that could be seen clearly from a good distance. After a minute passed, the happy memories had been replaced with the images of each of their deaths played inside her head, causing tears to fall down her cheeks. Moments later a purple dragon that was much taller than her had been that long time ago walked into the room. He was carrying a small scroll as he called out to the alicorn.

"Hey Twilight, Celestia sent you a letter, it's been a while, huh?" With a small shriek, she jumped up onto a wooden table, stopping her magic and accidentally dropping the picture. Spike rolled his eyes with a chuckle in his deepened voice as he ran to the table so it didn't fall.

"Jeez, you must be reeeeeally happy to see me if you're shrieking like that." With a sigh, she got off the stool, quickly wiped the tears off of her face before turning to him and faked a smile. "Sorry Spike, I was just doing something....." She trailed off as she slightly turned her head and gazed at the wooden picture she had dropped on the floor. Curious as to what she could possibly be distracted with; Spike too turned his head and looked at the picture. He gave a sigh as his smiling face turned to one of both sympathy and annoyance as he walked over to it, carefully making sure there were no fragments of glass and picked it up in his claws. He thoroughly inspected the frame and picture and gave a small smile, relieved that it had not been broken.

"Good news, it's not broken, not even a scratch in fact," He looked back at Twilight who was unblinkingly looking into the direction of where the photo was previously laying. He walked over to the mare and waved his arms up and down in front of her face in a fast motion.

"Twilight, you there? Helloooo, Dragon to princess pony of friendship, any pony home??" With no response, he decided to poke her face and touch her horn. Just as before, this had no effect on Twilight as she still continued to stare into the distance. Feeling he had no choice, Spike stood in front of front of Twilight and shook her as he started to scream.

"SNAP OUT OF IT!!!"

Twilight blinked her eyes and looked around the room as if she had no idea where she was. She looked at Spike and rubbed her head with her fore-hooves as she spoke in a somewhat weak voice. "Uuugh. What happened? It felt like I was out forever..." Spike gave a relieved sigh as he backed away from her and pointed to the picture.

"It's only been five minutes, and you were staring at the picture. You were so deep in your thoughts it was like you were in another world..." Twilight's eyes shifted from the photo to the letter in his other hand.

"Spike, what's that in your hand?" Spiked looked down as he remembered the reason he came to see Twilight.

"Oh. Oooh, the princess sent this, I guess you didn't hear it come since I had to come out to show you." Spike stuck his hand out and handed it to Twilight, who lifted it with her magic and read it.

My dearest Twilight,

I am writing you this letter to request your presence the Tuesday of next week at Canterlot Castle so we may discuss your new duties as a Princess. My best judgment suggests that you have been able to cope with the deaths of your friends just as I, my sister, and Princess Cadence, who will also be attending the meeting have been able to do. We feel that it has been enough time since then and that you are ready to discuss this face to face. Spike may also come as well if he cares to join you. We will assign him some tasks as we think he could help as well. We shall eagerly await your reply and hope to see you soon.

Sincerely,

-Princess Celestia

Twilight's eye twitched in anger as a tear rolled down her cheek. She crumpled the letter using her magic and threw it in a trash can on the other side of the room.

Spike stuttered and backed away in fear of her reaction and gulped. "Uhh...Twilight are you O-"

"Spike....take a letter...." She said, gritting her teeth together as she breathed slightly heavier than before.

"Twilight, don't you think you should calm down-"

"NOW, Spike." With that, the dragon zoomed around the room, getting all the supplies ready to write the letter. She levitated a nearby calendar and looked to make sure she was free. She hoped in the back of her mind she would be busy but sank after seeing she was indeed free. She sighed and looked at her assistant who sported a nervous smile and a slightly sweaty forehead.

"W...whenever you're ready..." Twilight huffed and slowly paced around the room as she told her assistant what to write.

Dear Celestia,

I am happy to say that I will be available to attend the meeting next Tuesday and am also excited to see all of you. I will bring my own writing supplies to take notes and Spike will also be coming with me. I feel we both need responsibilities to keep us occupied and productive with our days. We will see you next Tuesday and absolutely can’t wait!

-Twilight

The dragon repeated what she said to himself as he finished writing. He looked up at her and smiled.

"Finished!" Twilight took a deep breath and turned to him faking a smile.

"Good. Now, would you please send it to the princess?" Spike gave a small chuckle shook the letter in her face.

"Don't you mean 'please' send the letter Spike the most awesome and handsome number one assistant ever?" Twilight sternly cleared her throat loud enough for him to hear it clearly. She again narrowed her eyes as she glared at Spike, who stopped laughing and ignited green flames onto the letter, sending it to the princess.

The mare gave a quick nod of her head to him and closed her eyes and gave a satisfied smile. "Thank you, now if you’ll excuse me I'll be taking that photo if you don't mind." With that, she levitated the photo along with Spike who refused to let go of it.

"The photo was what got you upset in the first place; do you really want to look at it again just to get upset again?" Twilight rolled her eyes and shook it, trying to make him let go of it.

"Like I said before, I'm fine, I don't need you to baby sit me. I know my own limits." Spike let out an irritated sigh and gripped it harder.

"I'm not letting go, you're not going to get upset again, and I won't let you." Twilight stopped shaking it and smiled at him as she let him free gently on the ground.

"You're right Spike; thanks for making me realize I was wrong." Spike smiled and walked over to the shelf the photo was previously placed.

"Aww, it was nothing Twilight. I'm here for you; you should know that by now, I'm just glad you feel better." Twilight sneaked up behind him as he placed on the shelf. As soon as it was on the shelf, Twilight started a spell but was interrupted when Spike turned around, clearing his throat.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" Twilight stopped the spell and smiled nervously and blushed a bit.

"Oh...nothing, I was just you know...getting some water." Spike raised an eyebrow at her as he crossed his arms.

"Oh really, because it sounded like you were casting a spell to me." Twilight tried to keep a straight face but failed as he continued to stare at her.

"Fine, I was trying to get the picture I guess you win...” The lavender mare held her head down and sighed. Spike walked over to her and rubbed her shoulder.

"That's what I thought, why don't we go to bed? It's getting pretty late after all, you need your rest." Twilight opened her mouth as if to rebel, but after a moment just sighed again and walked towards the stairs.

"Fine, you win. I'm exhausted anyway maybe I'll have a good dream tonight..." Twilight's horn began to glow as she concentrated on her spell. After being surrounded magic, both she and her assistant were in their room, both landing on Twilight's bed.

The dragon got out of the bed and lifted the blanket. He wrapped it around Twilight who slowly fell into a deep sleep. The dragon stretched his arms out after tucking her in and went to his home made bed on the floor. He patted it with his hand and laid on it, almost instantly falling asleep.

Nightmares

Twilight opened her eyes to see she was alone in a thick and silent darkness. The only sound that could be heard was the sound of magic from her horn, making a bright magical light. She walked around aimlessly into the darkness, occasionally looking behind her after she took deep breaths. She started to feel frightened as the isolation and silence crept up her shoulder.

"Spike...are you there? Where are you?" A faint laughing sound could be heard after she called for him. She froze in her tracks and moved her ears to try to locate the source of the sound. Twilight looked at the direction of the noise and shouted as loud as she could.

"Hello? Who was that? Please answer me; I don't want to hurt you!" Again, the giggling could be heard this time however, multiple voices could be heard. Twilight took in a deep breath and ran as fast as she could in the direction they came from. After what seemed like hours, she could see a small ling.

The adrenaline in her body made her run faster than she was before. After several moments of running, she finally entered the source of the light. It was a field much like the one she had a picnic with her friends at before her brother's wedding. The bright light of the sun made her eyes hurt and her vision blurry.

She rubbed her eyes with her fore-hooves and saw something that brought tears to her eyes. It was her five friends, standing with smiles on their faces as they looked at her. She was speechless, partially because the running took her breath away. Many thoughts went through her head as she stared at the five mares in front of her. Was this possible? Was their death just a long dream? What was happening? Twilight got lost in thought, only to be interrupted by Apple Jack.

"You alright Sugar cube?" Twilight shook her head and looked at the orange pony. She wanted o say something but thought it'd be better to keep her thought to herself.

"No, I'm fine. I just got a bit lost in thought, that's all." Rainbow Dash laughed a bit and ruffled up Twilight's mane as she grabbed her.

"I'd say it was more than just a bit, Egghead!" She let go of Twilight, who suddenly felt a brush go through her mane. She turned to see it was Rarity. The white mare looked at Rainbow Dash with irritation.

"Rainbow Dash, stop with your nonsense, you messed up Twilight's mane!" The pegasus just rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Oh, calm down Rarity, I was just joking.!That is unless; you want me to mess up your mane too!" Rarity backed away after stopping her magic and hid behind Apple Jack.

"Don't you DARE touch my mane! Honestly, why do you have act so uncouth?!" Twilight giggled as Pinkie Pie wrapped her arms around her, making her giggle even more.

"Oh Dashie! Of course you can't mess up Rarity's mane! It's already been styled like Twilight's like twice! I think she looked nice but Spike got a funny look on his face!" Twilight gave a small chuckle as she turned to Fluttershy. She was looking down at the ground with a small smile on her face. Twilight walked towards her and put her hoof on her shoulder after Pinkie released her from the hug.

"Are you okay Fluttershy, not even you get this quiet?" She sighed and turned away from Twilight, continuing to stare down at the ground.

"Um yes, I'm fine...don't worry about me...I'm okay." Twilight raised an eyebrow and wrapped one of her wings around her friend.

"Come on Fluttershy, you know you can tell me anything. You're one of my best friends." She sighed and looked at Twilight with sad eyes. In a soft depressed tone, she answered her question.

"Well....It's just that you um....well you haven't um...you don't talk to any of us a lot anymore....and it makes me think I did something wrong..." She looked away as tears fell down her face and she tightly hugged Twilight. All of the other ponies looked at Fluttershy and trotted towards her. Twilight frowned and hugged her tighter as Apple Jack put her hoof on Flutterhy's shoulder.

"Come on Fluttershy, we told you it's not your fault. No pony did anything wrong." Rarity looked at her from the side, trying to force a smile.

"Apple Jack's right dear; Twilight's just busy with being a Princess and all. She just hasn't had the time is all." Pinkie Pie squeezed between Twilight and Fluttershy, hugging her even more tightly than she had done to Twilight.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Twilight's not being a big meanie pants and not visiting us because you did something wrong. She's just busy with doing big important Princess stuff like important reading and studying and writing! She's super duper tired and doesn't have the energy to do sun things with us silly!" Twilight's frown only got bigger as Pinkie said this. As the pain hit her heart, she walked away and sat down, tears once again in her eyes.

Many more thoughts entered her mind. Like if it was true that she had never spent time with them, and if she were not only a bad princess, but a horrible friend as well. This only made her grow sadder and sadder. Rarity noticed Twilight sitting isolated and walked to her. She used her magic to wipe her tears with a fancy hankie. She looked up at her for a moment and sighed as she looked back down at the ground.

"Thanks Rarity...and you too Pinkie, I really do appreciate it...it's just I...I don't know if I really am the cause of this...am I really that bad of a pony, let alone a friend? What has being a Princess done to make me so...so-" Rarity put her hoof on her friend's mouth, not letting her speak. She tried to make a bigger smile but could not and hugged her. She sighed and released Twilight from the hug and looked into her eyes.

"Shhhh. Darling, you didn't do anything. You can't help if your schedule if too full for us...it's not your fault. No pony is mad at you, I promise." Twilight gave a small smile as she wiped her tears away.

"Thank you Rarity, it means a lot." She smiled back, happy to see she felt better and to see her smile.

"Don't mention it; I am the element of generosity after all!" She giggled a bit and sighed and looked up at the sky. Twilight closed her eyes for a few moments and opened them to see she was once again alone. The field was empty of life besides the plants and wild life. Twilight felt a knot in her stomach as she frantically looked for them, screaming their names.

"Apple Jack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie, Rainbow, where are you girls?" Twilight ran around the field, searching for them desperately. After about an hour, she found five figures in the distance. She ran towards them to see that it was indeed her friends.

"There you girls are! I've been looking for you! Why did you leave?" Twilight looked at them after catching her breath and saw they were all giving her angry glare, even Fluttershy. Apple Jack walked closer, gritting her teeth in hatred and anger.

"Yer’ asking us why we leave you? How about answering this, why did ya' leave us after becoming a Princess? Are we not important anymore?" She looked back at Apple Jack with confusion as she tilted her head.

"What are you talking about Apple Jack? I would never do that, you girls are my best friends." Rarity huffed and trotted to her, staring her down with her angry azure eyes.

"Oh please Twilight, don't act like you don't know what we're talking about! We know you don't care about us anymore; you made that perfectly clear after you blew us off every day! What do you have to say to yourself?" Twilight's heart sank as Rainbow Dash grabbed her and looked into her eyes and shaking from her anger.

"Yeah Twilight, I thought we were your friends! But I guess you don't like us now do you? You have your Princess pals now so you threw us away like trash, that is NOT cool!" The pegasus mare huffed and flew away into the clouds, silently sobbing as she hid herself. Twilight shook her head and looked at her other four friends.

"No, it's not true! I didn't abandon you, honest! You're the best friends I could ever ask for, and that I'll ever have!" Her friends continued to glare at her as they screamed hurtful things at her, making her feel even worse. Twilight lay on the ground, burying her face in her hooves and sobbing. After several minutes of this, a loud familiar voice could be heard from above.

"Enough is enough!" While she heard this, her friends’ yelling faded until it couldn't be heard anymore. Twilight looked up and saw Princess Luna standing in front of her. She smiled as she looked down at Twilight, and held out a hoof to help her up.

"It is okay Twilight Sparkle, it's all over now." Twilight continued to sob as she tightly hugged her. Luna rubbed her back as she returned the hug.

"Oh Luna, its true! What they said was true, I was a horrible friend, I ignored them, and this is what I deserve! They're dead and the last thing they could think of before they died was that I pushed them away! They think I hated them after I became a princess and it's my entire fault!" The Princess stopped hugging her and looked down at her.

"That is not true my fellow princess, they knew that you cared for them. This was just yourself conscious thinking the worst and your sadness. It's only a dream, what has happened here is not reality." Twilight hyperventilated as she tried to calm herself down enough to breathe regularly.

"But I was never there for them after that day, and I rarely even said hi to them even though I lived just blocks away!" The surrounding field began to break apart as Luna flew backwards into the sky and screamed down to Twilight.

"It is not true Twilight, you were a good friend!" With that, she woke up in a cold sweat. She put her hoof on her head and looked at a clock in her room which read 11:23 Am. She sighed and got out of bed and went down the stairs, not making her bed like she usually would have. She sat at the table in her kitchen where Spike was making his lunch. He turned to see her with bags under her eyes and her forehead slightly wet with sweat. He walked over to her side and looked at her, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Twilight, are you okay? You don't look to hot..." Twilight looked at him for a short time and put her head onto the table as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"I'm fine...I just...had a bad dream is all..." The Dragon looked at her and rubbed her shoulder slowly.

"Do you wanna talk about it? I'm here you know, I'd do anything to help, just say the word and I'll do it." The mare shook her head and looked up at him with a weak smile.

"No, there isn't anything you can do...I'm sorry...I really appreciate it but, I just don't want to do this anymore...these wings were like a curse...I knew this would happen...Celestia must want me to suffer." Spike frowned at her and held the side of her head and looked in her eyes sternly.

"She doesn't hate you, she did this because you were ready, and she said this was your destiny. And I know you're strong enough to get through this, I've known you for all of my life; I know you can do it." Spike gave her a reassuring smile and gave her a hug. Twilight sat there, a few tears coming out of her eyes; she couldn't get the things they said out of her head. Those words hurt her more than anything could. Her friends’ hating her was a nightmare within itself, but hearing them say it was an even worse feeling, which she couldn't bear.

"No I can't Spike, the pain has broken me so much...I don't know how long until it breaks me and my sanity..." She cried harder just thinking about it. She really didn't know when or if she was going to break. She went deeper into thought and unconsciously hugged him even tighter. He smiled softly and hugged her back just as tightly and himself felt a tear rolling down his cheek. He absolutely hated seeing her in pain, he cared for her more than anything else in this world. Trying to hold it in, Spike took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself so she wouldn't cry more. As he took deeper breaths, his eyes widened when he heard Twilight's soft voice.

"Don't cry for me Spike, maybe one day I'll be happy again. Or maybe I won't be, it's nothing for you to cry over. I love you Spike..." Spike's eyes widened even more as he heard it and he hugged her even tighter as he started to cry heavier.

"I love you too Twilight, that's why it hurts so much for me to see you like this. You're always depressed and I know what you have in your drawers, I know what those scars on your ankles and arms are from. All I want is for you to be happy again, for it to be like the old days. When we go out for errands and we laugh together, that's all I want." Twilight opened her tear filled eyes and saw a book on the ground. She used her magic to lift it up quietly so Spike wouldn't noticed. She looked at the title of the book and gave a small smile and thought happily.

"I know what I have to do..."

Spells and Sorcery

Twilight's eyes snapped open, the dream fresh in her thoughts. She had to bring back her friends, it was the only way she could ever be happy. leaped out of her bed and started to gallop downstairs until she heard a noise coming from Spike. She paused and thought about what to do next. She knew that if Spike caught her doing this, he would definitely tell Celestia or at least beg her not to.

She stood there for what seemed like hours, remaining silent to avoid waking the dragon.. First she would write a note to Spike saying she woke up early and went out for a stroll, giving her an excuse to be missing. After this, she would look for some books in her library about the spells she would need. With the plan made and just enough time to execute it, Twilight used her magic to pick up a quill and scroll and wrote the note, setting it on the nightstand.

Quietly, she went across the halls of the castle and entered the large library. She used her magic to levitate books in front of her looking through each of them looking for the spells she was looking for. After a few moments of looking through many books, she smiled widely. As she read through the book, a large grey blur popped up in front of her.

She jumped, holding back a shriek dropping the book and losing her place in it. She rolled her eyes and scowled at him, not bothering to hide her annoyance. She gave him an exaggerated sigh before looking to face his gaze.

"Discord, how many times do I have to tell you not to do that?!" The dragonequas laughed and snapped his fingers, causing a Halo to appear floating on top of his head. He giggled and flew a lap around her, putting his hands under his chin and smiling as he fluttered his eyelashes.

"What ever are you talking about Twilight, I'm as innocent as ever. You of all ponies should know that I'm one of the good guys now." She rolled her eyes and picked up the book again with her magic and finding where she had left off. It had been a while since he had shown up, but she remembered why she was thankful for it. Discord's smile turned into a frown as she didn't even giggle. He remembered a time when he could make her laugh, and sighed.

"Look Twilight, it's been a long time since they passes. I know what it's like to lose a friend.." The alicorn's posture sapped straight as she rolled her book and glared at him. Her teeth were clenched and he could see the anger make her horn glow.

"What the hell would you know about friendship Discord, no pony ever liked you besides Fluttershy! But that was only because she HAD to like you, she HAD to be your friend, otherwise we wouldn't be able to reform you to make you an ally! You know NOTHING about friendship, and you DON'T know how I feel, and you never will!" She breathed heavily, her anger still very alive, her teeth now showing and her eye watering and becoming bloodshot. With this, she again picked up the book a d began to read Discord could only at her, not believing what he had heard. He knew it couldn't be true....could it? His eyes watered, as she turned away from her.

"Sorry Twilight, I'll be sure to remember that. I didn't realize I was that much of a bother." He teleported away, not even bothering to make a fancy exit as he always did. She used her magic to levitate a quill and paper to write down her notes. She finished writing her notes about the spell and began the one to Spike. She finished the first few words before she heard a creak upstairs that sound like someone was walking around. She knew it was Spike so she placed a bookmark on the page and quickly hid it. Then she turned back around and pretended to write on it with her magic. Spike stepped down enough stairs just to see her.

"Twilight, what are you doing up this late, it's not even sunrise yet." She didn't even look back at him, trying to make her lie as convincing as possible. Spike walked down the stairs and to her side, poking her. She jumped and did the best scream she could then turned to him.

"Oh, sorry if I woke you up, I was just writing some things down I saw in a dream. I want to keep a record of my dreams, so I have something to distract myself." He smiled, happy to hear she was trying to distract herself. Then he realized why he had come down in the first place.

"Wait if that's true, then why did I hear Discord upstairs? He sounded like was sad for some reason."Twilight felt her heart drop, he HAD heard him. She thought of the best lie she could have, something he would actually believe. As it came to her, she smiled to him.

"I was using a spell to remember my dreams so I could write it down, it was like the one that Trixie used to show her's when she had the Amulet. This spell unlike it however, makes the sound audible for other ponies to not only see but hear"

"That sounds cool, can I hear what you wrote?" He leaned in,eager to hear what she had dreamed that night. Before he could see what was written, she quickly rolled up the paper and put it on a shelf closest to her.

"Sorry Spike, I'm really sleepy right now, maybe another time." The dragon let out a sad sigh, hoping to hear about her dream. She walked up to her bed with him by her side. This time however, she was the one tucking him up, like when he was still a baby. She kissed his forehead, and for the first time in years, smiled sincerely. She whispered to her assistant, a loving tone in her voice.

"I love you Spike." With this, she kissed his forehead and climbed up into her bed. Spike too smiled, a tear of happiness falling down his cheek. He whispered back to Twilight, falling fast asleep happily for the first time in centuries.

"I love you too."

A Royal Disaster

The previous week was filled with many late night note writing and planning sessions. After reading her schedules for the next month, she decided that today would be the day that she finally got to see her friends again. She would not have another excuse to come to Canterlot until someone actually needed her. It was now or never, even if she had to be with...her. Twilight let out a sigh on her chariot, not wanting to even be at the meeting at the first place. All she wanted to do was cast her spell and make everything ok again. In her magic, she read another book she had read on the spells she had wanted to cast. She had all of her notes in her saddle bag but wanted to make extra sure she would cast it correctly. After about two hours of traveling, they had reached the castle in sync of the royal trumpets. She stepped out, taking her time to get in the castle. She wasn't ready to see her mentor, but pushed herself to carry on. She roamed the halls of the Castle, until she was in the meeting room. Twilight had to hold in a huff as they smiled at her. The regal white alicorn rose from her seat smiling widely, opening her arm to hug her most prized pupal.

"Twilight, it's so wonderful to see you!" Twilight stepped to the side, avoiding Celestia's hug and sat down next to Cadence, who looked to Luna in confusion. The other ponies all looked at her, confusion and concern present in their tones. Cadence was the first of them to speak.

"Twilight, is everything ok?" She nodded, a small smile forced on her face. Cadence was the most tolerable of the three, Luna was second. But she didn't want to even think of the third pony other than her in the room. She did the breathing technique Cadence had taught her and her smile got wider.

"Why wouldn't I be, I get to see you and Luna." They blinked, finding it off that she didn't include her teacher. Luna added in, getting up and putting a hoof on Twilight's shoulder.

"Are you sure? You seem to be a bit off today Twilight Sparkle." Twilight gave a nod, wanting to get the meeting over with.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just didn't get much rest." Celestia chimed in, officially starting their meeting. Usually, she would eagerly write down everything that had been said at any meeting or class. But now was different, this time she was actually bored out of her mind. The meeting lasted only a few hours, which to her felt like an eternity. After it was over, she cleaned up all of the papers and supplies she had scattered on the table. Before she left the room, she hugged Luna and Cadence, saying her goodbyes then pulled out her book she had used a spell to change the cover into a random adventure book she found in the library. She continued to read on her way out until she bumped into a white figure. Twilight looked up to see the sun princess, looking down at her with concern.

"Twilight, are you sure you're ok? You seem very off today." She continues, a hint of sadness present in her facial expression and tone.

"You didn't even say hello to me..." She raised her hoof to put on Twilight's shoulder, only for Twilight to move it off of her shoulder calmly, yet sternly.

"I'm fine Celestia, I just want to go see my friends." She turned to Spike, a smile on her face as she though of a wonderful idea.

"Spike, why don't you two talk, I'm sure she would love that." He nodded his head and smiled, turning to her.

"Are you sure Twilight, I don't want to keep you waiting too long." She gave a quick nod as her smile grew wider.

"Of course, take all the time you want!" Spike thanked her and talked to the white alicorn who hadn't taken her eyes off of her. With that, Twilight left to her friends' graves outside of the castle. Celestia looked to the other ponies in the room, sighing in defeat as a single tear fell down her cheek.

"I told you both, she hates me. She doesn't even say hi to me anymore. I don't know what I did to hurt her. I've cared for her as if she were my own foal but she can't even look at me without getting angry." Luna walked up to her sister, giving her a hug followed by Cadence.

"Sister, might you try talking to her in private? She might come around then, you never know. She might even love you more than ever if you reach out a bit further." Cadence and Spike nodded in agreement, looking at her with reassuring smiles. Spike gave a sigh, not knowing what to think anymore.

"Luna is right Celestia, she might think that you don't care. We know it's not true but you know how sensitive Twilight is, especially after such a loss."

"She's never told me she hates you, not even on her worse days. She doesn't talk about you at all, shes just always depressed because she still misses everyone. She seemed kind of excited to some here, but I don't think it was because of the meeting. I honestly don't know what's going through her mind anymore besides when she's depressed." The room grew silent as everyone held their heads down. Minutes passed before Celestia broke the silence as she rose to her hooves.

"All of you are right, I just need to talk to her." Her voice went weaker as she rose from her chair holding back more tears.

"I can't make the same mistake twice." With that, she ran with all of her might to the graveyard. Twilight got the preparations ready, chanting the spell as she lit her horn in both normal and dark magic. Both her and the graves started to glow, being consumed by the light. Shortly after, there was a terrified scream in the distance.

"TWILIGHT!!"

A Dream to Die For

Everyone met Celestia at the graveyard, horrified expressions crossing their faces. The pony they once knew was now just a bright light with her figure. Celestia, unable to control herself from wanting to save one of her most beloved ponies, launched herself forward towards her. She was determined to save the purple mare, even if it meant she would die in the process. She couldn't believe she let something like this happen not once, but twice.

She could feel the magic growing as she got closer, only to be stopped by Luna and Cadence. They pulled her away, struggling to keep a hold of her as she tried to flail out of their arms.

"Sister, stay away from her! I know you can sense her dark magic, it'll kill you if you intervene!" The white alicorn slowly calmed down and looked back to Twilight who began to glow brighter and brighter with each passing second. In just a few moments, the bright magic was consumed by the dark, malicious magic that made Twilight's eyes glow fade from a bright white to a dark green.

The ponies and dragon began to scream as five dark figures began to fly inside of the six graves that contained her deceased friends. Twilight began to laugh, her voice distorted with an unknown force. Celestia pleaded with Twilight, only to be unheard over the loud noise the spell was causing. With one final boom, Twilight fell to the ground, the spell seemingly failed. Everyone sighed in both relief and horror, gasping when Twilight didnt getting up, let alone move. Celestia broke free of Luna's grasp as she ran to her student's side.

"Twilight, please answer me! I love you...you can't be dead!" After a moment, the alicorn's once still body began to slightly jerk as her eyes opened. The white mare squeezed her, tears falling down her face. She was relieved that she wasn't dead, not even caring about the previous events.

"Oh thank goodness you're alive, I was so worried you were-" Twilight ignored the mare, instead pushing away and looking to the graves. Not seeing her friends, her expression quickly turns into one of panic.

"Where...where are they? The spell should have brought them back...I read so many books..." Celestia's heart dropped, realizing Twilight had no interest in her. She put on a poker face that was quickly seen past through her tears. The purple mare's strength returned as moments passed, allowing her to move and clearly see what was going on. The others after getting over their shock, quickly ran over to their sides, happy to hear that she was alive.

"Twilight, I know you miss your friends, and I do too. But the pony I miss the most is you, you aren't the same Twilight that I knew all those years ago. You're so sad...and distant, especially towards me. I know you hate me, but I don't know what for. And that's the thing that hurts me most of all." Twilight's eyes shot open in anger, Celestia's words burning an anger inside her that had not been this strong in years. She shot her head to glare right at her, her teeth grinding against each other so hard, the elder princess was surprised her gums weren't bleeding. She pushed her off of her, blinded by her anger and not caring about how much force she used.

"Oh, you don't know why I hate YOU? You know how much I LOVE to make lists, let's read down mine, shall we? Firstly, you gave me the powers of a god, and called me the princess of friendship, something I can't rule over in the first place! You really think I'm that stupid Celestia? I only acted happy back then because what else was I supposed to do, that spell is PERMANENT.

Trust me, I tried MANY times to reverse it, but not even I could do it, no one can. Next down the list, you did this knowing all of my FRIENDS would DIE!!! HOW IN EQUESTRIA AM I SUPPOSED TO 'RULE' FRIENDSHIP WITH EVERY SINGLE FRIEND I HAVE EVER MADE IS DEAD??? You told me to 'make more', but there's NO POINT in doing that if they are going to die too. I have studied for years how to cope, but I couldn't. Tartarus, I STILL can't cope, and I wouldn't HAVE to if YOU hadn't RUINED ME WITH THESE!!!"

With this, Twilight took in a deep breath, sobbing in anger she had not vented in not even Celestia knows how long. Her wings flared out to her sides, fully grown and missing feathers from preening nights a bit to rough from anger with them. Her nostrils flared and her eyes burned with a rage none of the others had seen in even the most evil of villains.

"If YOU don't know WHY I HATE you, just how STUPID and SELFISH can you be??? Why do YOU hate ME? I used to see you as a teacher, someone to look up to. AS A SECOND MOTHER!!! And then I wasn't good enough so forced these wings and a useless title on me? And What for, your amusement, so you could do less work, or because you couldn't do anything yourself?"

With that, Twilight fell to the ground once again, sobbing loudly as all the anger and sadness she had bottled up over the years was released. Celestia looked down upon her, her heart racing and at the same time, feeling numb. She didn't mean for any of this to happen, she loved Twilight like the daughter she never had. Slowly, the white mare laid down next to the sobbing mare next to her and wrapped a wing around her.

"I'm so sorry Twilight, I never thought you would feel this way. I know how hard it is to lose loved ones, I have lost so many ponies I hold dear in my heart. I understand that grief is not something that we can stop feeling for a long time, I have felt it countless times before. But, there is also a time where we must let go, no matter how painful or hard it is. If you don't let go, it will hurt you and everyone around you. Your friends wouldn't want you to be like this, they would want you to be happy and to move on to something even better."

Twilight muttered what sounded like a retort and tried to get up, failing to move more than a few inches before flinching in what Celestia could only imagine as pain. Spike walked over to Twilight's side and stroked her mane just as he would when she had trouble sleeping all those years ago.

"She's right Twilight, all of us love you and want you to feel better. It's been to long, you need to let go. I lost them too, they were my friends too. "