Does this box make me look fat?
It was a day just like any other day in Equestria. Birds were chirping, fish were swimming, and all the ponies of Ponyville were enjoying a brand new game that had been invented. It was a simple enough game, and very fun for everypony who played it. All they needed, was a box.
"Okay, here ah go yall!" Applejack called out to her friends.
Applejack took off into a running start, heading straight towards the open box. Her friends cheering her on from the sidelines. Applejack jumped, and landed back on the ground in a slide, going headfirst into the box. She slid straight into the box, he head popping out on the other side. Her hat however, remained back at the other side of the box.
"Hoo-wee! That was fun! Hey wait, my hat!" Applejack yelled aloud.
Her friends all laughed from the sidelines, and Applejack eventually joined in. Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity, then set up boxes of their own, all in a line with Applejack's. They all let out laughs and screams of glee, as they took their running starts towards their boxes. Rainbow Dash on the other hoof, decided to come flying down at her box at top speed, being her speedy and daring self.
The rest of the ponies on the ground, all slid and landed inside their boxes, laughing at the silliness of what they were doing. Rainbow Dash brought up the rear, by sliding into her box so fast, that both she, and the box, went skidding across the ground yards in front of her friends.
"Wow Rainbow, you sure can slide really far." Fluttershy called out to her Pegasus friend.
"Yeah, you guys may be cool sitting in your boxes, but I'm 20% cooler in mine!" Rainbow Dash happily replied.
"He he. Okay girls, we should probably get out of these now, so we can go again." Twilight spoke aloud to her friends.
Twilight began to worm her way out of the box, but quickly found that she was stuck.
"That's strange? How come I can't get out?" Twilight asked.
"Looks like somepony has let their figure get to them. Honestly darling, you should really stop eating at Hayburger all the time." Rarity told Twilight.
Rarity then started to work her own way out of her box, only to find that she was stuck too.
"What? But this can't be! There's no way in the world of Equestria that I could have let my figure go enough to get stuck!" Rarity exclaimed.
"He he he! You guys are funny! All you have to do is let out a BIG breath, and you'll slide right out!" Pinkie exclaimed to her friends.
Pinkie then took in a BIG deep breath, before exhaling all of the air in her body, causing her head to stay the same size, but her body to shrink to the skinniness of a straw. She then tried to back her way out, but found her head getting stuck at the front of the box.
"He he, oopsie! Wrong way!" Pinkie said aloud, laughing to herself.
Pinkie then tried going forward out of the box, but for some reason, she couldn't get her head to move forward.
"What the hay? What kind of crazysuperduperfunfantasticamazing kind of box is this?" Pinkie asked.
By this point, Applejack had begun trying to get herself out of the box too, but found herself in the same dilemma has her friends. Fluttershy watched her friends struggling to get out of the boxes around her, and looked over at Rainbow Dash, to see if she was having any luck. Rainbow had positioned her hind legs on the back of the box, and was trying to pull and push herself out, but found herself no closer to getting unstuck than her friends, despite all her struggling. Fluttershy let out a whimper, as she actually pulled herself closer together inside her box, almost resembling a tortoise.
"Grr! Grrrr! *sigh* This is just ridiculous. How in the world are we stuck in these boxes?" Twilight spoke.
Twilight then thought to herself for a minute, until she came up with the perfect idea to escape.
"I've got it girls!" Twilight exclaimed.
Twilight's horn began to glow, and she concentrated on the spell that she needed to perform. In a flash of magic, both Twilight, and the box, disappeared. Her friends then watched Twilight reappear a short ways in front of them, an accomplished look on her face.
"Well, that was easy. Now I just need to find a way to get you guys out as well." Twilight told her friends.
Her friends looked back and forth at each other, before all turning back to Twilight.
"Uh, sugarcube. Ah think we still have a problem." Applejack was the first to reply.
Twilight blinked, confused.
"What do you mean?" Twilight asked.
"Well I don't mean to be the barer of bad news darling, but you're still..." Rarity started to say.
"You're still stuck! He he!" Pinkie finished Rarity's sentence for her.
Twilight looked at her friends in confusion, before looking back at herself. Somehow, when she had teleported,the box had teleported with her as well.
"Wah! How in Equestria did THAT happen!?" Twilight asked.
Rainbow Dash wormed herself back towards her friends, still stuck in her box.
"Well that's just great. I can't get myself out, and even egghead here can't free herself with magic. What are we supposed to do!?" Rainbow Dash said to her friends.
"I don't know. This doesn't make any sense. Why is it that we can't get out of these boxes?" Twilight asked.
Just then, Spike came running over the hill nearby, holding an empty box over his head just the right size for himself.
"Hey you guys! Sorry I'm late, but I had to really look hard to find a box small enough for myself." Spike told his friends.
He then set the box on the ground, before running a little ways away, so he could come sliding in.
"No Spike! Don't!" Twilight called out to her dragon companion.
"Oh come on, you guys look like you're having so much fun!" Spike called out back.
Spike then took off running towards the box. He ignored all the ponies telling and motioning him to stop, except for Pinkie, who kept cheering him on. Spike jumped and slid straight into his box, his little dragon head poking out the other side.
"Alright! That was fun! Let's do it again!" Spike said aloud.
Spike then tried to dislodge himself from the box, but quickly found himself stuck.
"Huh? What's going on? Was my box too small or something?" Spike asked his friends.
Twilight brought a hoof to her forehead, annoyed at Spike.
"That's what we were trying to tell you! You'll get stuck if you slide into the box!" Twilight told the little dragon.
"Huh!? Then why did you guys all do it!?" Spike asked.
"We didn't know we were stuck, until Twilight tried getting out of her box. Next thing we knew, we were all stuck in'em too!" Applejack told the dragon.
"Yeah! This is SO uncool!" Rainbow Dash replied.
"What...what are we going to do? What if we can never get out of these? Oh! What about the other ponies of Ponyville? If they all tried the same thing, then we're all in big trouble!" Fluttershy spoke aloud, or at least as loud as she normally got.
Spike and all the ponies looked at each other, before trying to turn themselves around in their boxes, so that they were facing Ponyville. They all then tried to wiggle their way forward, like Rainbow Dash had done. Pinkie Pie however, was still able to bounce up and down in her box, as if she were still back on her hooves.
The group finally reached Ponyville, only to gasp at the sight that they saw. Pinkie gasped as well, after she stopped giggling from the fun she was still having, bouncing in her box. Before them, were all the ponies of Ponyville, trapped in boxes in the streets. Left and right, they could see ponies of every size stuck in boxes, just like they were.
"Oh no! Big Mac! You too!?" Applejack called out to her brother, who was stuck in a rather large box in the marketplace.
"Eeyup!" Big Mac replied.
The group continued to look out among the ponies stuck in boxes, until Twilight had another bright idea.
"I've got it! Spike! Try setting your box on fire, to burn it away!" Twilight told her dragon friend.
"What?! No way! I don't want to burn myself!" Spike protested.
A scowl came over Twilight's face, as looked back at the dragon.
"You're a dragon silly, you'll be fine." Twilight told Spike.
Spike nervously looked at himself in the box.
"Well...okay I guess." Spike replied.
Spike then took a deep breath, before breathing bright green fire all around himself, and the box. Twilight and friends all covered their faces from the heat, while still looking to see if it worked. When the flames had stopped, they found Spike still stuck in the box, the ground charred around him.
"Well, so much for that plan." Rainbow Dash replied, annoyed.
Twilight started to think to herself again, fear and paranoia starting to set in.
"This is just simply dreadful! I mean, whose idea was it anyway to slide into these boxes? They're such a fashion faux pas!" Rarity exclaimed.
"OH OH! Wait! I know! I'll load myself into my party canon and blast my way out!" Pinkie spoke aloud.
Pinkie then reached under her box, and pulled her party canon out of nowhere. She placed it behind her, and wormed her hind legs and backside into the canon.
"Hey Applejack, pull my cord!" Pinkie told Applejack.
"Somethin about that sounded wrong, but, okay." Applejack replied.
Applejack extended her hoof, and pulled the cord, causing the canon to go off. However, instead of the canon shooting Pinkie (and/or the box with her) away, it shot itself back, and went straight into Rainbow Dash's face.
"Oops! Sorry Rainbow Dash! I guess I must have set my party canon to reverse." Pinkie spoke back from her box to Rainbow Dash.
"Ips omay Binky" Rainbow Dash spoke from behind the canon, which was still stuck to her face.
Twilight's hair had about jumped out of proportion, as she racked her brain trying to think of another solution. At last, another idea finally popped into her head, as both her eyes and face lit up with amazement.
"I know what we need to do! We'll ask Princess Celestia to help us! Surely she'll know how to get us out of these boxes!" Twilight exclaimed happily.
Twilight's friends all looked around at each other, hopeful. A great big smile appeared on Twilight's face, until she heard a pony speak from the crowd of box ponies nearby.
"I'm afraid that won't save us Twilight." The voice spoke.
Twilight turned her box around, only to find Princess Celestia slowly dragging herself closer. For some reason, rather than being trapped in a regular cardboard box, Princess Celestia was stuck in a giant box with a banana logo on the side.
"Princess Celestia! What happened!? Why are you stuck in a box too!?" Twilight asked.
Princess Celestia looked away, embarrassed, before turning to answer her student.
"Well...admittingly...I wasn't going to partake in the box sliding game, as I wanted to maintain my royal appearance. However, while I was looking through the royal pantry for something to eat, I discovered a lone banana sitting in an empty box in the corner. Overexcited, I dove in after the fruit, accidentally hitting my head on the wall on the other side. I succeeded in getting the banana, but I soon found myself stuck in the box." Princess Celestia replied.
All of the ponies within earshot opened their jaws agape in shock. They couldn't believe that their Princess would be foolish enough to trap herself in a box...just to get a banana. Princess Celestia blushed, before she continued speaking.
"I then immediately tried to teleport myself out of the box, to no avail. I summoned the guards to try and pull me out, but that didn't work either. Fearing I'd run out of options, I decided that possibly you and your friends my have encountered the same dilemma, and had possibly found a way to overcome it, using the power of friendship somehow. Although, it looks like you have not." Princess Celestia finished speaking.
"Oh, what about Luna? I hope she didn't get herself stuck too." Fluttershy spoke.
"Nah, I'm pretty sure Luna's too smart to let herself get wrapped up in something like this, even if she did open up durin Nightmare Night."
"No. We're afraid that we did indeed partake in the joy of sliding into boxes as well." Princess Luna spoke up, appearing next to her sister in a box of her own.
All the ponies let out a groan of disappointment. Not even their two grand rulers could free them, nor themselves, from this horrible predicament. Twilight's eyes began to twitch, as she once again began to rack her brain to find a solution.
"Well well well, isn't this just the most delightful bit of confusion?" A familiar voice spoke up from behind the crowd of ponies.
All the ponies turned to find none other than Discord. What made things worse, was that he was the only one among them who was not trapped in a box.
"What!? How in Equestria are you of all ponies not stuck in one of these boxes?! Something this ridiculous is right up your alley!" Rainbow Dash spoke to Discord.
"Oh contraire, I'm in the same sticky boat as the rest of you ponies." Discord responded.
"No you're not! We're in boxes, not boats." Pinkie replied.
"Did you really find a way out of the box Discord, or are you just playing another trick on us?" Twilight asked.
Discord levitated himself into a sitting position, but didn't follow with any other kind of magic.
"No, I'm afraid that even I have fallen prey to these dastardly, if not ingenious, boxes. I'm actually still in Fluttershy's house, trying to work my way out of the box, and enjoying a good bit of chaos in the process. The ME you see before you is just a copy I made, to see how much chaos is going on outside with all you ponies." Discord told the ponies.
"Oh no! I hope Angel and the other animals are alright! You better be playing nice with them Discord!" Flutteryshy spoke.
"Please, please, they're fine. I've told you, I'm reformed now. Remember? Besides, I'm focusing the majority of my magic in trying to figure out a way out of that box. Despite being the God of Chaos, that doesn't mean I like being the butt of some other...thing's joke." Discord responded.
"If even Discord is trapped in these boxes, then how are any of us going to get free!?" Spike asked aloud.
"Teleportation won't work, fire won't work, not even Discord's magic seems to have any effect on these boxes. I don't know Spike, I'm afraid that we may never be able to get out of these boxes." Twilight told Spike in a sad tone.
"What if we all lay upside down?" Pinkie asked aloud.
Confusion and murmuring came from the crowd.
"Pinkie, what are you talking about now?" Applejack asked the pink mare.
"Well, doy! All the boxes say THIS SIDE UP, and all of our boxes are pointing towards the ground silly." Pinkie replied.
A silence filled the air, as all the ponies wondered if this was an actual idea from Pinkie, or just Pinkie being Pinkie.
'Uh, come again?" Applejack asked.
"Well look, see!? Your box says THIS SIDE UP, but the arrow's pointing down. So! If we just roll our boxes over, then...ta-da!" Pinkie exclaimed, before emerging from her box.
Everypony, to include Spike and Discord, stood dumbstruck at what Pinkie had just done. A random pony in the crowd began to roll her own box over, to see if she could do the same thing. To herself, and everypony else's amazement, it worked! She was able to crawl out of her box on her back! Immediately, everypony within earshot, and eyeshot of the sight, began to roll their boxes over, and escape from the cardboard prison. Discord's copy even disappeared, but soon reappeared as the real Discord, complete with chocolate rain clouds and all.
All the ponies then picked up Pinkie, and started tossing her up and down with cheers. It looked as if a party was about to break out, until Twilight broke the excitement.
"Now wait just one minute! Pinkie, why didn't you try that, or tell us about it sooner!?" Twilight asked.
"Huh? What are you talking about Twilight? I would've thought you of all ponies would have read the instructions on the game?" Pinkie replied.
"Instructions!? What instructions!? They're just ordinary cardboard boxes!" Twilight responded.
"He he! Ah, silly! The instructions were on the side of the boxes the entire time! Look, even Princess Celestia's banana box had the instructions on it too!" Pinkie told Twilight happily.
"All they say are: THIS...SIDE...UP!" Twilight replied.
"Exactly!" Pinkie responded back with a smile.
Twilight tried to calm herself down, feeling another burning pony coming on, but asked her final question anyway.
"Okay then Pinkie...but why didn't you just tells us about it, or better yet, escape that way yourself from the beginning?" Twilight asked.
"Because we were having fun!" Pinkie replied.
Seeming to give into the Pinkie norm, all the ponies around nodded and mumbled in agreement to one another, before taking their boxes, and returning back to their daily lives. The Princesses teleported themselves back to Canterlot, while Discord turned the box into a sailor hat, and proceeded to row an imaginary boat away with his chocolate rain clouds. Even the rest of Pinkie's friends took their boxes with them, figuring they could use them for whatever original purpose they were supposed to serve.
All that was left, was Twilight. Her mind broken from the antics of Pinkie once again, and her frustration preventing her from leaving to do something productive, she instead walked right back into her box, and closed the covers around herself. She didn't even notice, nor care, that the box was back to the THIS SIDE UP pointing down. Pinkie then slapped a sticker onto the side of the box, before turning back to the audience (YOU), and then finally zipping away.
A close up of the sticker reveals the words: THE END.
Author's Note
My first one-shot. Hope you all enjoyed it!
