Nightmare Idiot

Nightmare Atlas couldn't believe his good luck. As soon as he had arrived in Ponyville and conjured up a Unicorn disguise, he had come across the Element of Laughter. Granted, it had only been a split second before Pinkie Pie jumped up and shot away in a cloud of smoke, but he knew what she was up to: Celestia had occasionally read some of Twilight Sparkle's letters to him, supposedly to "improve his character" or some similar drivel, and as such the Nightmare was counting on Pinkie Pie's distinctive "Welcome to Ponyville!" party to bring the Elements together. A simple plan, but effective nonetheless.

After all, he had mused to himself on the way over, it is much easier to crush an anthill than to track down each insect one by one.

Lost in his thoughts, he hardly noticed where his hooves were taking him. Through street after street he meandered, waiting impatiently for his invitation to the party. Only then could he be sure all the guests were in one place to surprise him, little suspecting that they would receive a much less pleasant surprise of their own. His little smile soon turned to a frown as he realized that, though his hooves were moving, he wasn't going anywhere. Looking up, bright red filled his vision, coupled with a polite, deep cough. Atlas backed up a few paces, coming face to face with an enormous Earth pony stallion. A yoke connected Big Macintosh (for of course it was Honesty's brother - something else from the letters) to a wagon loaded down with what looked to be a half ton of lumber. Big Mac looked at Atlas with a raised eyebrow, not speaking, waiting for the disguised pony to do something, anything.

Nightmare Atlas sheepishly grinned. "Er, hello, peas- friend," he said, barely catching himself before he said something offensive. "I am most sorry about that; it seems I had become lost in my thoughts." He stretched his smile a bit further; would Big Mac take the bait?

Big Mac's eyebrow rose even further, but if he noticed Atlas's slip of the tongue he chose to ignore it, responding with a simple, "Eeyup."

Atlas stood there, still straining his smile.

Big Mac stood, eyebrow continuing to creep upwards.

Atlas desperately tried to smile wider; it felt like his face were about to tear along the edge.

Big Mac tilted his head to the side. "Y'all right there, partner?"

The Nightmare, despite his power and cunning, could only nod and back away, slowly at first, but soon accelerating to a velocity that most Pegasi would be hard-pressed to match going forward. The inevitable soon occurred, a small dip in the road causing Atlas to misstep and tumble backwards, rolling into a nearby house. He lay on his back for a long moment, groaning, before he tried to stand, to no avail. A quick glance toward the house revealed the problem to be his horn, which had managed to embed itself in the wall. Giving it a firm tug, he pulled the offending appendage from the structure, thankfully remembering not to use his alicorn strength. That would have caused a lot more damage than just a small hole. Getting to his hooves, Atlas yet again came face to face with the massive stallion who had gotten the Nightmare into this mess. Still, there was nothing Atlas could do, at least not yet, so better to save face and exit gracefully. "Well, Mr. Macintosh, it's been a... pleasure, but I really must be going now."

As he hurriedly walked away, he couldn't help but add just a bit of Earth Pony magic to his stride.

Pinkamena Diane Pie brooded over her newest dilemma. As she considered the problem, she absentmindedly flipped a long, thin knife from hoof to hoof, the stains on it dulling the reflected light from the solitary candle. She paused, put down the blade, picked up a measuring spoon. Her blue eyes wandered, unblinking, over the various items on the table before her before settling on a small bowl filled with a white powder. The normally hyperactive mare carefully scooped a bit of the substance into a pot full of a bubbling brown goop. Smelling the strong odor from the substance, Pinkie's mouth widened into a toothy grin, candlelight shining off her teeth. "Oh yessss... this will be the best cake ever!"

For of course, it was a cake mix, though from the way Pinkie was acting some ponies might think she was a psychotic murderer or something even worse. As it was, the only things that had died were a couple sugarcane plants and some assorted other vegetative organisms. Pinkie's squeals of delight at the construction of a perfect dessert were legendary in both their volume and frequency. The Cakes (the pony version), however, were used to the various noises that occurred when Pinkie was whipping up a new recipie, and therefore tended to ignore the various sounds that emanated from the basement during "baking time."

Nightmare Atlas finally caught his breath at the Everfree's edge, muttering to himself in between pants. Why did that lumbering oaf have to show up and make a fool of the future Emperor of the World? Why couldn't he have stayed at his farm and bucked trees like the worthless dirt pony he was? Slowly, Atlas began to collect himself, recalling his plan. Taking a deep breath, he stepped into the inky shade of the Everfree, eyes glowing a sickly purple with vision-enhancing magic. A way into the woods, he shed his disguise; the last thing Atlas needed was an unnecessary drain on his power in what was arguably the most dangerous place in Equestria. True, he was practically indestructible and had the potential for enormous power under normal circumstances, but the Everfree's twisted, chaotic nature disrupted the Nightmare's natural connection to the earth, leaving him relatively weakened.

"Now, what manner of beast shall I seek out first?" wondered Atlas aloud as he stalked between a pair of gnarled Venom Oaks. The substance secreted by their leaves was highly toxic and could kill a pony in a matter of minutes if left untreated, but its magical properties were mostly unexplored. Idly, the former Prince conjured up a glass jar and collected a few of the leaves for future experimentation. As he did so, a distant sound caught his attention, and he adjusted his heading to intercept it. Moving more quickly now, Atlas took no more floral samples, instead focusing on finding the source of the disturbance. A second incidence of the noise revealed that his quarry was not more than a quarter mile away. Atlas reached out with a thin magical tendril, latching onto the source of the sound. With the tether in place, he turned to smoke and slid along the line like wax on a candle wick. He dared not change to an insubstantial form in the Everfree without an anchor, else magical fluctuations might cause him to become permentantly fragmented.

Prodding gently, Atlas' essence entered the beast, flowing through it and searching for the brain, attempting to impose the will of the Nightmare. Immediately, a problem revealed itself: this creature had not one mind, but five. Multiple brains... but the number rules out a Janus' Drake, as those only have two heads. No, this is much better... a hydra! As useful as the dangerous creature could potentially be, splitting upup his essence was highly risky to the Nightmare. After careful though, Atlas gave the mental equivalent of a shrug and began the process of dividing himself into five equal parts. A moment later, it was done, and the smoke flowed into the beast's brains, rewiring the nerves to make each head the Nightmare's slave. Atlas quickly collected himself and reformed outside the hydra's body, seeking his next target. Finding one, he launched another magical tracer, disembodied maniacal laughter echoing throughout the Everfree.