a day in the life of an equestrian human

by rpoet

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Tragedy, Human, Romance
Length: 981

after a deadly car accident Richard sits in a destroyed car waiting for death,what he gets instead is a kick in the head from a certain orange pony...

When Richard lands in equestria he is awoken by a kick in the head by an orange pony by the name of Apple Jack. After the confusion is cleared Richard finds his place in the small town helping out the mane 6. But everything changes when he finds that 2 of the mane 6 are in love with him. Chaos soon insues(does not include discord…sorry)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-30 00:01:23 UTC

the encounter

When i woke up i was in a purple room that seemed to pulse. Then i heard a mumbling sound outside of my "room", it sounded like a young female saying "the specimen has a flesh like substance covering its torso much like dragons have on their underbelly" then a young male voice spoke up and said "i do NOT have a soft under-he he he he he!" apparently the male is a dragon, JUST GREAT, on top of talking fucking horses there's also fire breathing dragons! the dragon kept laughing as the female started giggling too, i assumed that the female was tickling the dragon. then the two settled down and the female mumbled something that sounded like "and now the physical examination". That's when i realized that there where no doors to my prison, so how was she going to get in? The room suddenly turned transparent(i really should have expected that by now) and the dragon almost screamed out loud at the sight of me. The female voice was actually another one of those horses, she had purple fur, wide purple eyes and a bone popping out of her skull which i guessed was a horn(somehow i was right). The horse broke the silence by asking " CAN...YOU...UNDER...STAND...ME??" I don't know why but seeing as how I was this deep in the shit I just said "YEEEESSSS". Apparently she did not pick up on my sarcasm as she just sqeauled in delight or terror I couldnt tell but soon i found myself in a deep conversation with the "pony"(which apparently is their proper name). turns out that most ponies have two names much like humans first and middle names. This one was named Twilight Sparkle and the dragons name was Spike, after lecturing me on pony history she caught me staring at her butt, now i know what you're thinking and i wasn't staring at her plot i was amazed by the tattoo on her ass which in my world would be called a tramp stamp but in her world it was kind of a rite of passage. turns out its called a cutie mark which displays the ponies special talent which most likely is part of their career. after a few hours(i assume) of discussing various topics Spike came down the stairs and elbowed twilight and cleared his throat. she gasped and closed her eyes in concentation. then my bubble disappered and i fell to the floor in the most ungraceful way possible.

the accident

"Are we home yet ma?" Richard asked. "Shut up for a minute and it'll go faster" his father scolded from the drivers seat. As the black van hurtled down the dark highway the gas light turned on."gotta get gas red" Richards father playfully said his wife's pet name. As the van slowed down at an intersection the light turned from red to green. Richard's father accelerated to pass through the light. About halfway through the intersection Richard yelled "LOOK OUT!" as a white taurus slammed into the side of the van. The vehicles tumbled for what seemed like years until the van slowed to land on its roof. Richard tasted blood in his mouth as he slipped from reality. His last thought was about a show he had heard about called my little pony...

the awakening

CRACK!!! My head exploded in a volley of pain."what...hrrrng... the fuck?"I groaned. I looked up and saw a blur of orange and blue. A massive bolt of pain traveled up my spine and hit me like a sledge hammer and i passed out.

When i woke up i had a dull throbbing pain in my left temple and a crunching noise in my right ankle when i tried to move. My eyes hadn't focused yet so the room was a blur of colors with random sparkles here and there."Great, i cant move, cant see and i'm most likely in some fucked up place with technicolor beings." As i looked down i saw that same orange blob that had hit me in the head. the door opened and a white-ish blob walked in and stood beside me, i heard a humming noise and everything slowly came into focus. i  nearly passed out again, at the foot of my "stretcher" was a snoring...horse? To my left was a white horse(i'm guessing they're horses) with a red plus on it's ass. this was just freaking me out so i just stared at the ceiling trying to find a logical explanation for this, most of them turning up as me being crazy which wasn't that hard to believe now. The white horse walked out and a grey glow covered the door as it swung shut. I looked down at the horse by my feet, i don't know why but its soft whinnying coupled with the small drop of drool coming off of its lip was kinda cute. I shook my head, this was no time to be thinking about cute shit like that, i needed to get out of here and fast.

I managed to fall back asleep for a few hours. when i got up there was a plate of weird looking fries and a burger with a patty made out of hey chaff by the looks of the light dusting of hey around the plate. that's the final straw i'm outta here. after managing to sit upright in my "bed" i attempted to stand up, immediatly i was brought back from my false hope of escaping as my right ankle shifted and twisted inhumanly and made a sickly tearing noise as i fell. as soon as i hit the ground i saw a stream of crimson blood run down the floor towards my face as i passed out. the door was flung open just as i passed out for the second time that day.