Can't Be Saved

by ToxicTalon

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Tragedy, Slice of Life
Length: 1100

"Just follow your heart" they say. Well, with a shattered mind, clouded perception, and hearing deafened by my own sorrow, what choice do I have?

Have you ever gotten that feeling that you've fallen so deep into depression that you start imagining a new tomorrow? Now don't go calling me crazy, I know most people will say they don't want tomorrow to come… But what if you could tell a new story built upon lies and make them reality? Would you live it? The perfect life only one can imagine? Or would you try and pierce through the veil of lies and delusion? Well in Rainbow Dash's case that's all she can do, otherwise her life is forfeit.

Can she accept the mistakes she's made and realize some bridges have been burnt beyond repair?
Or will she lose herself in endless lies, slowly but gradually clawing away at her sanity?
Will she continue to dream for a better future?
Or will she realize that the only way to save herself is to let go?
Her mind is all she has left, and if she succumbs to the lies, she will never wake up from her eternal slumber.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-01 11:00:04 UTC

Prologue: Tonic, Rocks and Gin

The worst kind of torture is not physical or mental… But the torture your soul endures when living a lie, and when you can only perceive these lies as truth, as if it’s the only thing you have and ever will know…

The day started off just as any other, the sun creeping across the room, the bright, irritating tendrils of beaming light taking their precious time to cover the cloudy surface of what I called my home. They seemed to have one purpose and one purpose only, to annoy the ever living daylights out of me! I got like fifteen minutes, Celestia can go take the sun and shove it for all I care! Tossing and turning, I had tried to find a comfortable position where the light wouldn't constantly abuse my eyes, but that didn't work so well. I Slowly started rolling off the side of her bed and landed on the floor, quickly getting onto my hooves I stepped over the blatant mess that some might call 'clutter', nearly falling face first into an empty pizza box. Yeah I really need to pick that crap up... Someday or somethin'... Eh, it can wait.

Heating up a breakfast that consisted of a stack of fifteen pancakes and a protein shake I headed out the door as quickly as equinely possible, if there's one thing I hate, it's a full gym. Looking up at the clear blue sky for a few minutes I felt like something was off. Clear skies..? turning my attention over to the door I saw the weather schedule, finding the date and groining, having seen that a storm was due later today Gah, freakin' spring showers... Better hurry up then. I thought, taking off without a second thought and making my way to the gym as fast as I… OW! Damn it Derpy I swear if it was you again... Rubbing my head, I looked up and I'm preeeeetty sure I saw a pissy looking griffon who may or may not have her head up her ass, I mean come on, where did she think she was going? What kind of birdbrain… Wait.. Purple tipped feathers, having a fit like a little filly.. Oh BUCK me..

“Gilda, what are YOU doing here?” I said, looking at the boneheaded gryphon in front of me and crossing my forehooves.

“Huh? What do ya think I’m here for? I’d recognize that ugly mane anywhere, like, seriously why didn't...” She said before trailing off into momentary silence, probably thinking about doing something stupid like 'accidentally' clipping my wing like she did in flight school. "N-no… Dash, I came here to… to say I’m sorry… I know I’m probably the worst friend ever and just… I wanna make things right, I miss having ya around ya know? if you don’t ever wanna see my face I get it, but If ya wanna talk then ya know where to find me.” After a brief moment and a few nasty words later she flew away. I looked back at the slowly fading brown speck that was flying away from me. Was this some sort of prank? Did Gilda of all people just apologize or is it some sort of cruel plan to get back at me for something? ... Is it worth pursuing? Damn it Gilda... Thanks for spoiling the mood. Guess I'm just gonna take a nap or something.

Landing a nearby cloud and staring up at the sky, aimlessly looking for answers, wondering what exactly she had planned, after a couple of moments picking my mind I let out a quiet sigh, letting my mind wander I found myself slowly drifting off into the realm of dreams once again.

“I know they had some bad blood but this is ridiculous!” A mare said off in the distance, it sounded like she was underwater… “I don’t know if she’ll even pull through... What am I even saying!? of course she will, she’s not just tough, she’s also an element, loyalty no less! That counts for something right!?” Just as soon as it started, it had ended, leaving her in a never ending black void of nothingness once again.

Waking up in a haze I rubbed my eyes, staring back up at the bright blue sky once again and I started thinking about today, about her... And after a few moments I came to a conclusion, why the hell was I thinking? Gilda apologizing and me thinking? I mean I'm not stupid or anything it's just that thinking isn't my sorta thing... Damn it I'm doing it again! What kind of upside down world is this? Is Twilight also a gold medalist in track and cross country? Ya know what? That can wait, for now I have somewhere to be and things to do, I have a weather schedule to uphold and a gym to go to!

Gee Dash, doesn't being an adult with real responsibilities suck? Metabolism slowing down making it harder for ya to train, makes that one goal you set for yourself that much harder to achieve, all you ever wanted was to follow your dreams and look at where it got ya! Your education that you REFUSED to believe would be useful, your resume consists of you sitting on clouds, sleeping and being a royal pain. I'm sure there are just SO many ponies that wanna spend their lives kicking clouds, aren't you? A matter of fact in the next few years you're probably gonna get promoted to all that boring desk work, approving schedules and sending out the materials other weather ponies need... Yeah, livin' the dream Dash! Everything you've worked for? It means absolutely nothing! The bolts don't want you, but what about your friends? Well tell me, where are they? That's right, they left ya to fend for yourself didn't they? Sick of your cocksure, stubborn, inconsiderate attitude. And your parents? Like they ever cared. That somewhere you gotta be? Oh well that happens to be a bar fifteen minutes out, you know the one I'm talking about, after all, you drink yourself into a stupor almost every day.

Yeah... The one where Gilda and I first met each other again after finishing Flight School, it's been almost four years since I've seen her. One thing is for certain though, with this asshole hangin' around I'm gonna need a drink...

"Believe my lies, for I tell the truth about them - Or would you rather me lie about telling the truth?" John Crowcroft