Weekend In Equestria

As Twilight was in the shower, I decided to check my backpack and see what glorious items I had!
To my surprise I found:
- PSP (even though Xbox pwns!)
- Ipod and earbuds
- Two cans of axe
- My shitty phone
- Five pre-rolled joints

"Damn! I really had it made when I went to the library!" I said to myself as I shoved everything in an empty drawer located under Twilight's bed.

"I'm sure she won't mind!" I thought to myself as I closed the drawer.

I jumped up and walked over to a mirror Twilight had hanging on the wall. I pulled up my pants and rearranged the belt, making sure I didn't miss any belt loops.

"Freakin Twilight! Always wanting sex!" I joked to myself, looking in the mirror. I grabbed one of the axe cans at random, the can read," Excite."

I sprayed my whole outfit, under my arm pits, and one more full body spray, leaving me choking in the room.

"Eheh! I must smell amazing now!" I said while clearing my throat. I walked back to the drawer and placed the can of axe back, I picked up one of the joints and examined it.

"It better be good stuff!" I said to myself while looking around for my lighter.

"Dammit!" I exclaimed as I remembered I left my lighter back in my house. "Well, I suppose I'll have to go sober." I sighed as I through the joint back in the drawer.

I heard the shower turn off and the door creak open as I finished tying my shoes.

"Are you ready for the day?" Twilight asked, her horn glowing as she hovered a towel above her.

"Yes... We shall grace Ponyville with my awesomeness!" I replied back. Twilight rolled her eyes and slowly walked downstairs, I followed her soon, making my way to the front door.

Twilight pushed the door open to expose a beautiful bright day, not a cloud in the sky. I zipped up my MW3 sweater and was ready for the awkwardness sure to ensue, but... as Twilight and I walked the streets down to Sugar Cube Corner, the other ponies didn't seem to care!

Majority of the ponies roaming on the sidewalks were bright and unique colors varying from regular brown, to bright blue and white.

"See? Nopony cares that you're different," Twilight said as we waited at a crosswalk, a crowd of ponies waiting for the pulley- carts to pass.

"Hey, I'm new here." I said to a brown stallion with a lighter brown mane, a hourglass on his flank.

"Oh,well a pleasure to meet you. I too am a newcomer to this strange place, I had no idea that I would find another homosapien ." He said with a british accent.

"Hehe, a limey pony!" I thought to myself as he spoke.

"I am Dr.Whooves, and this is my assistant Derpy!" He said pointing his hoof to a gray mare sniffing me.

"Wow mister! You smell good!"

The gray pony exclaimed, her bright yellow eyes shined on me.

"Oh...yeah...the Axe..." I thought to myself as Derpy nudged her mouth against my pants, nuzzling at my crotch.

"Umm...Be careful..." I said while she buried her head between my legs. I blushed as she continued, Twilight not even paying attention.

"Um... Derpy, I don't think you should do that!" Dr. Whooves said as he tried to pull back on Derpy.

"Eheh...I don't mind..." I sighed as Derpy lifted her blushing face away from my crotch.

"I'm sorry, but he smells soo good!" Derpy smiled at me, her cute crooked eye glistening.

"I do apologize, Derpy can be a tad intrusive at times. Ahem, if you don't mind, I must ask you some questions." Dr. Whooves said.

"I don't mind her curiosity..." I said while rustling my fingers through Derpy's bright yellow mane. She blushed and giggled cutely, I could tell that she had enjoyed this.

After what felt like forever, the carts stopped and the crowd of ponies walked across the street, Twilight finally turned around and saw me.
"Ahem, Orion, who is this...Individual?" Twilight asked as she trotted up to Derpy.

"Hi! I'm Derpy!" The cute grey pony said as she rubbed up against my legs. An awkward moment settling in as Twilight's face turned to an angry pout.

"Is this your new marefriend!? Huh, Orion?...Well maybe you could live at Derpy's house if you love her so damn much!"

Twilight said as she angrily trotted away... Leaving me...with Derpy...

"Damnit...I bucked this up big time...Huh...Can I stay at your house for a little?" I turned and asked.

"Mmhm!" Derpy replied, leaning closer to my legs. I felt her nuzzling me again... In the same place....

I sighed. "Well, this is gonna be a long day..."

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Eventually Derpy lead me to her apartment, which wasn't a very close walk! The tall red building shined in the moonlight, like a beacon.

"C'mon! We're gonna have so much fun!" Derpy cheerfully exclaimed as she raced up the stairs to the second floor, her wings flapping with excitement. I eventually caught up with Derpy, she sat at the top of the stairs smiling down at me.

"Come inside!" Derpy said as she opened the door and showed me her apartment. It was a pretty big apartment, a big living room connected to a compact kitchen, and at the end of the hall was the master bedroom.

I sat down on the light blue couch as Derpy walked into the kitchen and brought out a basket of muffins.

"Hehe, I can't eat all of these by myself!" She said as she sat on the couch next to me. Somehow she handed me a muffin with her hooves, and placed it on my lap... Derpy really seemed to like my lap.

"Do you want one?" Derpy asked as she slowly leaned close to the muffin on my lap.

"I-I thought that was mine..." I thought as she laid down on my lap, putting her face closer, her tongue licking the muffin.

Those pretty yellow eyes stared into mine as she suggestively licked the muffin, her tongue wrapping around the golden brown tip.

Derpy eventually bit down on the muffin, crumbs still on her lip. I could tell she was trying to act sexy, those narrowed eyes and a heavy blush...

"You've got something on your mouth..." I said as Derpy brought her head up to mine.

"I'll get it..." I said as I leaned closer to her mouth and licked the crumbs off her lips. To my surprise, the muffin was delicious!

"Mmm," Derpy let out a sigh and closed her eyes as I poked my tongue inside her mouth. Obviously this was going a little too fast...but hey! I gotta pay the rent somehow...

Derpy giggled and poked her tongue back, her warm curious tongue licking my teeth.

Well, this sure is going to be an interesting night...