Act one: Gummy and Boaris
Introducing Myself
My name is Gumwia Star. I'm a detective, homicide squad. I've been with the Canterlot force for 10 years, and I've been a detective for half of that. Only, not much crime happens in Equestria, and violent crime less often still. The Canterlot homicide squad is the only one of it's kind in the entire nation. So we distribute our little trade over the entire nation.
It is a job defined mostly by waiting. Like a spider in a web, homicide squad waits for some pony to slip, to commit the ultimate crime, so that we may sweep in a wrap them up. Or perhaps thats just me. Point is, we sometimes go weeks without a case.
So, I spend most of my day reading or playing cards with my partner, Boaris Burns. But I'm always waiting, always thinking ahead to the next case. I begin collecting all the imaginary facts, confronting all the imaginary suspects. I see blood spatters and beheading and burnings dance before my eyes.
Yes, you see all types: Murders of passion, drug murders, accidents, 'accidents', deaths by hooves horns and big guns. I love them all. Murder cases are my passion. Not only solving them, though. I don't quite see them in the same way as many ponies. They can't look past the act itself. I can see everything, the complex choreography of fate's destiny which brought together two ponies in a deadly dual. It's more than life to me, it's art.
-
Phase One
It was a Saturday morning. I woke up at my desk, where I had fallen asleep after a night of hard writing, and I felt awful. Everyone assured me my creative habits would catch up to me eventually. I knew hitting that old typewriter like no tomorrow had already strained my romantic life past the breaking point. My last boyfriend left me for a comedian moths ago. “Every night you come home late smelling like ribbon ink. Thats no way for a detective to behave.” He'd said.
I look over what I'd written. Senseless garbage.
I pushed away from my desk. It was covered in books and crumpled wads of paper. The blinds where drawn, dust hung lazily in the air: It had been a particularly slow week. Nobody in Canterlot wanted to solve their problems with violence, and that made for a sad Gumwia Star. A predisposition for existentialism runs in my family, and I figure I'm one Neightzsche from loosing my mind. What was a homicide detective without brutal murders?
My prayers where answered by a knock at my door. It was a knock I recognized, three light taps, half a second apart. My suspicions where confirmed when Chief Steadfast pushed open my door and leaned inside. Even at this early hour, she was in uniform and neatly groomed.
“Gummy, Ponyville PD is asking for our help.”
“Has their been a murder?” I leaned in eagerly.
“Yeah.”
“Is it brutal?” My eyes practically shined with excitement.
“Pretty horrific from what I've heard.”
“You can count on me, Chief.” I struggled to keep my tone level and professional.
I brushed past her, eager to get out into the wild once more. I was nearly shaking in anticipation, but my enthusiasm was tempered as I went through the process of checking out my equipment from the quartermaster. One notepad and standard issue pistol richer, I returned to my office. I grabbed my little grey cap, coat, and personal gat: The Peacetrotter .60, the most outrageously powerful gun you could get on the down low. Fully equipped, I endeavored out of the station.
It was the kind of gloomy morning that made you want to kill a pegasus. Clouds hung about at roof level, making everything uncomfortably muggy. The light which escaped the city skyline and mist was weak and depressing. Still, I had places to be, so I proceeded to the station lot.
To my surprise, my partner Boaris was already waiting in the chariot. Well, perhaps not waiting per say. His old grey fedora sat precariously on his sand colored hair, his wrinkled grey coat draped over his slouched peach colored shoulders and wings. He wore that getup like a second skin, claiming to have never taken it off since it's purchase 35 years ago, not even for baths. Or sleep apparently. He may have been there physically, but his mind was still in bed.
I crept slowly on the chariot, getting an annoyed glance from the ponies hitched at the front of the chariot. I silently leaned over to Boaris, and whispered into his ear. “Boo!”
Boaris sprang awake, flailing wildly trying to get onto his hooves. As soon as he caught a glimpse of my grinning mug, he stopped.
“Damn it Gummy. You don't scare an old soldier like that.” He said gruffly, but with a hint of humor.
He'd never actually been a soldier, but his 40 some years as a detective and countless more time as an officer had brought him into contact with the worst ponykind could offer. In my youth, the man was a legend, a paragon of law and order, who'd arrived first on the scene to save me from a murderous junkie. But he'd arrived to late for my father, and nearly so for my now crippled mother.
It was his example that compelled me to become a on officer and detective, instead of a journalist like my mother or a florist like my late father.
Even as a corner cop, working with him had been a dream come true. He was steadfast but compassionate, willing to bend the rules to see justice served. By the time I was made a detective, he was already in his fifties, but no less badass for it. We made an excellent team: The unhinged danger seeker unicorn and the persistent old pegasus.
“I'm just checking your reflexes and giving you a stretch. We wouldn't want you to have a cramp or throw out your back at an inopportune moment.” I said with mock sincerity.
“I don't know why I'm friends with you, Gummy.” His adrenalin rush over, he struggled to hold his head up, but made room for me in the chariot. “I almost didn't accept this case, you know. But I knew you would, and I couldn't let you go to Ponyville alone.”
“Been there before for a case?” I asked.
“Just the opposite, actually. There's never any murder I Ponyville.” He said. And so we set out.
The chariot ride was uneventful. I looked at the clouds, and thought about how much they reminded me of blood splatters. Most things remind me of blood splatters, but this in particular brought me back to a philosophical mood. I mused about a heavenly great organism, punctured by the presumptuous mutant wing pony creatures and bleeding all over the sky. I wondered if there were clouds before there were pegasi. Probably. The only way to test that hypothesis was to kill all the pegasi and see if there where still clouds.
As I said, the weather was ripe for a wing horse sacrifice.
As the trip progressed, the clouds above us because thicker and darker, if that where possible considering how miserable Canterlot was. By the time we reached Ponyville, the rise of the sun had been entirely mitigated by the threatening rainclouds. Maybe clouds were not blood, but wounds, and the rain was the blood. It was awfully odd to think of living on a planet covered in rivers and seas of blood. It reminded me of a dream I once had. It was a pleasant dream.
We arrived at Ponyville, a cute little hamlet nestled between some hills and the Everfree forest. The chariot set down in the main street. In the shade of the clouds, the wood and thatch houses looked bleak and sad. Most of the ponies, whose coats were of outrageously loud colors, seemed greyed by a combination of the foul weather and proverbial cloud of murder over their heads.
Our touchdown had been noticed by the locals, and within a few moments we where met by a local.
A beige earth pony stallion was first on the scene. “Are you the ponies from Canterlot?”
“Yes ma'am. I'm Detective Star and this is my partner Detective Burns.” I responded.
“Thank goodness you're here. The deputy sent me to find you when she saw you chariot.” Said the colt.
“Thats nice. Can you point us towards the scene?”
“Oh, yes.” He nodded deferentially. “It happened over at the library.”
“The library huh? I know the way.” Boaris said. He took the lead.
Was trotted along listening to the villager's dramatizations.
“I heard there was blood all over the walls and ceiling. Like, totally everywhere, two coats. Isn't that horrifying?” He said.
“From one pony?” Boaris was incredulous, and I shared his doubts. It took at least five ponies to paint your average room, and I'm just talking one coat.
As soon as we where in sight of the library, a proud oak tree house, Boaris and I broke away to chat with the local police, who were maintaining a cordon against the curious ponyvillians. Our appearance relived them, and it was clear they where out of their depth.
A little officer mare provided the answers. She was a white unicorn, with curly white-pink hair.
“This is the home of Twilight Sparkle, a local celebrity kinda. We haven’t identified the victim, but we think she was Pinkie Pie.”
“What? Can't someone identify the body?” I'd seen some pretty bad bodies, but close relatives can always tell. On this one cultist case the charred stiff was identified when his girlfriend saw his ritually removed pancreas.
The deputy shifted hooves awkwardly, his words bringing me back to reality. She grimaced. “There's not much of a body really. It's more like a bloody smear.”
At these words, several of the eavesdropping villagers fainted. I too, was intrigued.
“Then why do you think it was this Pinkie filly?”
“She's been missing for several days, already missing a dozen appointments and party engagements. Ponies around here refuse to think she's miss a party, unless she were dead.” She seemed to be one such pony. This Pinkie dame must be a popular community figure.
“When and where was she last seen.” I asked.
“Four days ago she was seen with Twilight Sparkle at the local bakery. She had been to several other establishment earlier in the day.”
“Really then... Where the two friends?”
“Best friends, actually. Everypony knows so.”
“Could this be a domestic depute?”
“With Twilight Sparkle as the killer? It looks that way, but that out of the question. Sparkle and Pie where as thick as thieves in their time, and had a close circle of friends. Odds are a hundred to one against, in my opinion.” The deputy said with finality.
“Yeah, what motive would Twilight have?” Another officer, a brown pegasus colt asked.
“That's what we're here to find out. Now if you'll excuse us my partner and I would like to see the scene.”
The deputy nodded, and took us into the cordon.
I ran over the facts in my head. If it wasn't a domestic, then signs point to this being a psychopathic killing. Normal ponies very rarely go for their popular community activists, but settle for misfits and marginalized targets, who are missed much more easily.
The simpler explanation was that these ponies where wrong, and Twilight Sparkle was the killer. The theory with the fewest assumptions is usually the correct one, after all.
That bloody smear though...
A gunshot rang out, coming from the library.
Ponies fled in every direction, screaming in panic and terror. The Ponyville police swept up the stragglers and fell back to the intersections.
Boaris and I scrambled backward until we were out of sight of the great tree. Clearly, the murderer had returned to the scene. Usually they where much more subtle about it.
“Alright partner, let's get in there and take this bucker out!” I pulled out my service pistol, as did Boaris. I peeked around the corner and saw the little plaza completely vacated. Ponies continued to scream from within houses and across the streets.
“On the count of three!”
-
Phase Two
A flash of lightening. I blinked. My vision slowly returned. I was cold, wet, sore. I could hardly see my hoof in front of my face for how thick the rain was coming down.
“This way, Gummy!” I ran towards Boaris's voice, and arrived under an awning, he was sheltering from the sudden aqueous onslaught..
I was still confused about the incongruity of the last minute. “Did you notice...”
“Yeah. That was weird. The Canterlot weatherponies are usually more adroit with their transitions than that.” Boaris was breathing hard.
I caught my breath quickly, and raised my gun.
“We're making a mistake Gummy. We should think this through.” He seemed hesitant. I'd chalk that up to nerves, but Boaris was always a fearless pony. His reservations must some other reason. Maybe he ewas just getting old.
I pulled him forward. “We still need to deal with that killer, rain or no!” He nodded slowly in acceptance.
I scanned the plaza, trying to see the library oak through the weather. It was useless. The rain was truly awful. I was usually ambivalent to the rain, for while it depressed me it also made killings more statistically frequent. But right now it was impeding my work. I hate when things impede my work.
Very rarely did I get an opportunity to take out my frustration on anther living being. It was about to be one of those times.
“Buck it! Let's get in there!” I threw myself out from under the awning, and rolled into a full gallop in the direction of the tree. Thankfully, the rain also blocked the shooter's view of me.
A burst of orange and red filled by vision. I tried to stop, digging my hooves into the soft soil. I tripped, expending my inertia in a messy roll though the mud.
I groaned. I had already been feeling sore and tired, and now I was in pain as well.
“Gummy look!” Boaris was at my side, shaking me to get my attention. The idiot should know we were sitting ducks for the shooter out here.
“Drag me!” I sputtered. I doubted I could get far with so much mud in my eyes.
“No, Gummy look! It's on fire!” Slow but surely, the rain washed the mud off and I could see the conflagration. The library tree was completely consumed. Despite the torrential rain, a great pillar of fire had the oak in it's grip, charring and burning everything within.
The murdered had succeeded in destroying all the evidence. Whatever wasn't burned by the fire would be washed away by this vicious rain.
I rose to my feet unsteadily. There was a chance the killer might still be in the area. I found my gun half buried in the mud and pulled it free. Indignant, the gun yearned to exact retribution.
“Boaris! Check around the back!”
Boaris nodded his acknowledgment, and disappeared into the rain. The tree began to sag as it's structure was burned away. With a creaking moan, the upper floors of the home collapsed inwards. The rain began to win it's battle against the flame, and soon I was left looking at a smoldering stump.
“My poor home.”
A mare's voice came from beside me. I whipped around and raised my piece. It was a unicorn, looking dejectedly at the former library. It was difficult to make out any features in the rain, but she was heavily clothed. I lowered the gun.
“This area is closed for an ongoing police investigation!” I yelled to be heard over the rain. The mare ignored me. She spoke softly, but I could hear her perfectly.
“The old girl didn't deserve this. But all things must come to an end eventually.” She hung her head despondently. “I'm repeatedly learning that lesson it seems.”
I raised my gun again. Creepy nonsensical ramblings where a good tell for a crazymare. “Stay right where you are. I'm taking you in for questioning.”
The mare turned to face me. Her eyes where a glowing purple. In a flash of magic, the mare was gone. Startled, I let off a shot in the vacant air.
A suspect had escaped for the second time in one span.
Angry. Very angry. I swore to dark gods I would annihilate the next living thing I saw.
Within moments Boaris was by my side, gun drawn. He huffed and puffed for a moment before speaking. “What happened? I heard a shot!”
“You let her get away, Burns!”
Eh, I didn't specify a tame scale. It will a be a very drawn out annihilation.
A clap of lightning deafened me as the lightning illuminated the entire plaza in violent light.
-
Phase Three
It was sunny. Very sunny. As in, hardly a cloud in the sky. The kind of weather that made you want to choke a pegasus, with joy. I shielded my eyes from the harsh glare of the celestial orb. I was seated, as was my partner, on a bench on the track of a restaurant. I was unsure of the continuity of the last few moments, distinctly remembering watching a tree burning in the rain. Boaris, on the other hand, idly read from his menu as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Perhaps it was. Had I really gone to the library? The memories eluded my mental grasps, but I still felt the voice of that mare and the feeling of that rain. It had happened, at least in my mind. Either I had hallucinated that whole sequence or I was now.
But what were the chances I'd hallucinate Burns with his stupid fedora and coat still on, alive?
Did I say hallucination or fantasy? I shook my head and tried to take stock of my company.
Boaris looked odd. I couldn't place his expression until I realized it was one I'd never seen him wear before. He looked positively happy. Sure, I'd seen him pleased with himself, like after a job well done, but even then the weight of his years tugged at the edges of his mouth. Right now he was nearly euphoric. Must be the fedora. His smile made him look very young.
“Boaris what are we doing here?” I asked.
“I often ask myself the same question. Some ponies have elaborate spiels about faith or family and the meaning of life. I maintain life is nothing but an accident, a cosmic mistake. Not that that deprecates love.” He chuckled.
I was unamused. “What are we doing here. At this restaurant.”
“With any luck, eating lunch. God forbid that waiter comes back.”
Either he had a very different understanding of the last few minutes, or one of us had brain damage.
“Do you know what you're going to order? I might have the posy burger.” Boaris droned.
“What happened after the library burned down?”
“Is that on the dessert menu? Sounds gourmet.”
I was getting seriously ticked.
I raised my voice. “Boaris! Why the hay are we in Ponyville?”
He put down his menu and crossed his hooves defensively.
“You tell me, Gammy. Here I thought you would stand by your word, and buy a nice lunch like you promised, but no. You have to invent a problem, don't you. Burning libraries huh? I think that's wishful thinking on your part. Too bad, missy. This is the quietest town in Equestria. Their will be no murders to disturb us.”
I couldn't take it anymore. I pushed away from the table, upsetting the dainty chair upon which I had been sitting. I didn't feel sore or tired anymore, nor had I since the sun returned.
“Boaris, this is not funny. Someone is dead Boaris, or don't you remember. Right here in Ponyville too. We have to find the killer.”
“Oh yeah? Who died? Gunna write an award winning article about it?”
“Some broad named....”
“HI! I'm Pinkie Pie! What's your name?” An earth pony of two shades of pink blew into me, knocking me sideways. I staggered for several feet before regaining my footing.
“You!” I stared dumbfounded. It was the presumed vic, at least in name, clearly alive and annoying. I'd have to have a few words with the deputy.
“Yes me! I've never seen you here before. What's your name?” The words practically bubbled out of her mouth.
“Detective Gumwia Star.”
“Ooh, sounds super cool!” She leaned in. I could see why someone would want to kill this thing.
The pink pony froze, and her ears began to gyrate erratically, as if homing in on a signal. She grinned.
“I've got to go! Their's another new pony in town, and I just have to be the first to greet her!”
She bounced away, quickly disappearing around a shoppe.
“Gammy!” Boaris was somewhere between bristling and concerned. “You know better than to do that.”
Before I could respond, my attention was stolen away. With a gust of wind and a rustle of wings a flying chariot buzzed the roof of the restaurant. It circled once before settling in a street somewhere in the village. However, in the brief moment it had been visible I had recognized it's occupant. I'd seen purple, and I'd seen a unicorn. That was enough for me to tell it was the rainmare, the shooter.
That arrogant bastard had flaunted the victim's visage right in front of me, and couldn't help but reveal herself to us. But I refused to be a part of her mind games. Today was going to one of those rare treats where the murdered had made it personal. Time to get savoring.
“Boaris! Get up! We have to intercept that chariot!” Turned back to my partner but he was gone.
“What the buck?” I reached for my guns. It was only then that I was not only deprived of my lovely pistols, but I had apparently exchanged my hat and coat for a modest dress. When that had happened, I did not remember. Had I been in a bucking dress this whole time?
“Ok, what the actual...”
I managed to say, before somepony serving a knockout sandwich delivered to the back of my head.
-
Phase Four
Where was I? Still at the restaurant I think. But it looked much more somber in the dark, under the cloud covered sky. They hung overhead in a dark grey sea casting their shadow over the town once more. The table I had occupied with Boaris was now taken by a pair of colorful earth ponies, dining and chatting quietly.
Somepony was behind me, tugging softly on my suit.
“Gummy can you hear me? I said, we have a lead.” Boaris's voice said. I turned back to him. In the dark of the cloudcover, he had regained his wrinkles and scars.
What was going on? Rain was close at hand, either coming or going. Yet the ground was dry. How long ago was the library fire, then?
I felt the toll of a hard day's work on my body, but only moments previous I felt as energetic as a child. And now that I thought about it, there had been a unconscious dissonance between the fire and the restaurant. I had... shifted. Yes, I had shifted at twice since arriving in Ponyville. My continuity of consciousness had been shot to all hell.
Explanations:
One. I was dreaming. I looked around. The world about me looked perfectly normal. The only inconsistency was the progression within my own memory. I tried to change the environment by thought, but found myself unable. But I'd never lucid dreamed before, so I don't really know how that worked. But considering all the ponies I saw still had their skin and limbs, I doubted this was an average dream of mine.
Two. I was hallucinating or delirious or otherwise delusional. I'd never before had a hallucination, as far as I knew, but I'd heard they where usually more abstract or sporadic, considering their association with seizures or nervous overstimulation. I must be a very boring kind of crazy to reconstruct a world instead of substituting my own.
What was I even saying? Again, the fact that blood was not flowing in the streets meant I was not in my right mind. Or at least in my usual mind.
Three. I had a brain trauma that was causing my to forget or rearrange events. And it'd also taken away my death and gore fetish, apparently.
“Hey Boaris.” I turned to face my partner. “Have I been hit on the head?”
His face scrunched like he was withholding a laugh.
“I dunno, probably as a baby?”
“No, I mean recently. Within the last week or at least this case.”
“Nah. Although I came close to hitting you at the graveyard.”
Graveyard?
“Nevermind then.” My brain was intact, allegedly.
Options:
One. Go with it. I would worry about my mental health after I caught this purple unicorn killer. For now, I would continue to the best of my ability, despite the gaps in my memory.
Two. Submit myself immediately to a mental health institute. I'm sure that would please a large percent of my acquaintances, and I would learn what was happening in my mind. For all I knew, I was suffering a stroke. Getting help could be the only way to save my life.
Three. Kill myself. If I was dreaming, I'd wake up. If I wasn't dreaming, it'd be pretty funny. Sure I'd be dead, but c'est la vie. C'est la mort, more like.
“So, uh, we gunna go after this lead? Deputy Bloom said a pony reported suspicious activity near a local dress shop.” Boaris badgered me, pulling me away from my thoughts. Both institutionalizing and killing myself would massively inconvenience the old colt. He'd never forgive me for sabotaging a case like that.
“Uh, yeah.” I clear my throat and declared. “Onwards!” I began an aggressive trot into town.
“Hey, it's this way.” Boaris called out. I rolled my eyes, and turned back to him. But something caught my eye. A flash of purple disappearing between the houses.
“I'll meet you there!” I yelled back to Boaris as I gave chase. He yelled something in response but I did not hear.
I weaved around some ponies and market stalls, and leapt into the alley. I gripped my service pistol and my Peacetrotter .60 in my magical grip. I brought them to eye level. The purple mare would not get away this time.
I advanced quickly down the alley, where it opened up into a slightly wider back street. Suddenly, I lost all control of my magical grip, then moments later, of my whole body. I flailed ineffectually against the purple magical aura which now encased me.
“Oh, It you!” It was a mare speaking. It was the mare in the rain's voice. I tried to orient myself towards the sound, but still could not find purchase in the air.
“Me, huh? It's like you worn't expecting this. But you did, cause now you've got me, dontchya.” I spoke to a dirty brick wall.
“Hey! I thought we had an understanding! You said... No tag...” The mare stopped as if she had come to a realization. She turned me so that we now spoke face to face.
She was a unicorn mare, lavender coat and purple-navy mane. She looked dressed for cold weather, with a heavy brown coat and skirt and thick boots. Her eyes where a vibrant purple as well. They were deep, and I could see both analytical mind and barely repressed fear.
“Do you know who I am? Have you met me before?” She asked sharply.
“I've met a hundred others like you. They all get caught in the end.” I spat.
“I'm sure. But really, have you seen me before?”
“Want to know where you slipped up huh? Perhaps it was when you freaking stepped right up to me in the buckin rain. Oh, and you think I didn't recognize the vic, or you in the chariot? You're a dumbass.”
The mare contemplated my words for a while. I hoped her distraction would let me break her telekinetic grip, but the magic around me only tightened as I tested it.
“It hasn't rained, yet.” She said plainly.
Things became very clear very quickly. “Do you know me?” I asked, reaching for confirmation.
“Yes, I know you. I know all about you. You're Gumwia Star, and you're here to catch a killer.” She responded with calculated cadence. “I'm acquainted with your mother as well.”
There it was. She knows me. I don't know her. She must be the cause of my memory skips.
But my mother? Was that old hag trying to stir up some trouble? One last try for a Ponelitzer Prize?
But no, I seriously doubted this young mare had any business with my senile old mum.
“Did you kill Pinkie Pie?” I opted for the direct approach.
This seemed to greatly disturb the little mare. She squeezed her eyes together. “Do they know she's dead?”
I was suddenly not so sure of multiple things. Firstly, I was unsure about the victim being the Pinkie. I only had the speculative word of the deputy to go on. The mare I had met at the restaurant could have easily been a fake, but none of the ponyvillians had called her out. This mare had seemed genuinely surprised and upset at the prospect of Pinkie's demise.
Speaking of which, if this was the killer, and the vic was not Pinkie, she would have corrected me or denied it outright. It was looking unclear whether or not she had blood on her hooves.
That didn't matter to me right now. This bastard was messing with my head, warping my memories. It was personal.
“Some ponies seem to think so.” I decided to say. “Nopony has seen her in town.”
“They'd be right. Pinkie is very dead.” The purple mare opened her eyes, and stared at me for several moments. Her eyes were damp, but the longer she stared the more dark they became, and the tears dried.
“Will you shoot me, if I put you down?” She asked.
My heart screamed out for blood. A grisly scene of purple and red flashed before my eyes. I grit my teeth and forced the bloodlust away.
“That depends on weather or not you killed Pinkie Pie.” I said. I'd probably shoot her either way, but whether I shot to kill was another matter.
The mare sighed and the fire left her eyes. “I suppose in a way, I did. I'm equally responsible for Princess Twilight's actions.” Her magic over me weakened, and I was dropped onto my four hooves.
I grinned in triumph. That was basically a confession. The guilty seem to seem to call out to be caught. They can't handle the weight of their horrible actions. I'd take this mare in, then go for that celebrity, Twilight Sparkle.
“Well, I suppose if your a good girl I'll let you live long enough to be taken to trail for her murder.”
I reached for my guns but they where carried out of my reach by purple magic. I wheeled towards the mare, ready to pummel her into submission, but she was facing me, horn alight with a spell prepared.
“You very clearly don't understand what's going on.” Considering how powerful that spell looked, I guessed she could incinerate me faster than I could blink.
“Care to enlighten me.” I snarled.
“I don't have time I'm afraid. You should have asked earlier.” She matched my tone. Her eyes where glowing from magical exertion, but I could see the anger and desperation.
A hoarse yell came from the alley. Startled, the mare let loose her spell. I jumped to the side as magical flame washed over the alley. The mare turned tail and galloped out of the alley.
Boaris was above me now. “I should have know better than to let you go galavanting off on you own.”
I struggled to my hooves. “I can't help myself.” I picked my guns out of the dirt. “Now we go end this.”
“Now wait a moment, I thought we where going to leave her be!
This bloody mare had escaped me for the last time. There will be blood, it might be mine, let's get it on.
“To the library!” I yelled. I gave my best banshee impression and galloped howling down the alley. I exploded out onto the street, bowling over many a surprised pedestrian. I didn't see where Twilight Sparkle was, but I had a suspicion. Screaming like bloody murder I charged in the direction of the Ponyville library's ruins.
Light danced in my eyes, as a electric arc split the sky. The lightning strike was followed seconds later by a deafening thunderclap. It was as if the entire sky had come loose and was falling to earth, as all across the clouds thick rain began to fall.
-
Phase Five
Hearty laughter roused me. I opened my eyes to discover I was face to face with a snail on a blade of grass. My consciousness spread to the rest of my body. I was on the ground, forehooves and face splayed on the ground and butt in the air. Based on the physical and existential pain I was feeling, I had tripped.
I straitened from my undignified position, face red more from embarrassment and irritation.
It was a beautiful morning in Ponyville. Happy and carefree ponies laughed and played in the grassy riverside. Children screamed in delight and adults joked and reposed. From a happy little picnic on the opposite bank came the sounds of a barking dog and cheerful banter.
Basically, the exact opposite of what I was feeling. My uncontrollable rage had been suddenly intruded upon by sunshine and smiles. It was the closest a mare could come to being castrated, I thought.
“I'm sorry for laughing, but that was kinda funny.” I turned to face Boaris, who was overflowing with the same good cheer as the rest of Ponyville.
'I, uh... Thats ok.” I stammered. Rainmare had managed to steal a bit of my memory again, but considering how happy Boaris was, she'd probably gotten her just desserts.
He sat in the grass, and I did as well. “So, what was that important this you wanted to say?”
“It wasn't that important.” Hopefully that was the truth. I had no idea what I had been about to say.
Boaris laughed. “Oh you tricky devil. You bring me all the way back out here for some big secret, and then cast me down. You could of just said you wanted to see me again.” He teased.
My mind went a million different places. Apparently, in my mental absence, Boaris and I had become a thing. Not only a thing, but a secret thing which necessitated hiding in Ponyville thing thing thing.
Thing.
“Thing.” I said quietly.
“It's ok, Gammy. I wanted to see you to. I just thought you might be angry after last time.” Boaris said.
“Yeah... Angry.” I could hardly think. My mind was doing summersaults.
“Ah, it's so lovely in Ponyville. Remember the first time we where met here? I had to knock you out to keep you off some pink flirt. Right in the middle of a nice lunch too. But you where so apologetic afterwards.” He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. “And every visit after that.”
I stared at him, trying and failing to categorize everything logically. I was so revolted and confused and overwhelmed. I just needed some time to sort this out.
“I, uh...” I began a though and immediately lost it. “I don't feel so well.”
His grin narrowed slightly. “Whatever you need, I'm here.”
“Just give me a moment.” I said.
I scrutinized the old colt before me. Except, he wasn't that old.
I'd noticed it in the sun at the restaurant, that Boaris was looking youthful. His winkles where smooth, he'd lost a lot of flab and little discolorations. His mane was not a pale sand color, but a strong yellow. His teeth gleamed his eyes sparkled. The old busted had somehow transformed into a new hotness.
I reached out a hoof to poke Boaris, to see if he was an apparition. He took my hoof and held onto it affectionately. Besides confirming his presence, I could see my own limb was clad in a frill of white. I glanced over my body. I was in a dress, a soft alabaster with floral patterns along it's length. It was the kind of dress my mother would own.
My... Mother?
An explanation presented itself which was at once so impossible and yet explained so much. The sun in the restaurant and the sun on the riverside. The clouds above the library and of the alleyway.
Was I really having my memory stolen? Or rearranged? Or created anew?
Could it be, that I am was the victim of an elaborate illusion? Things were beginning to make sense. I had only just encountered Rainmare before my each shift into this sunny land where I'm wearing a dress.
I was playing out that mad unicorn's reverie as my bucking mother?
The revelations within my own mind where enough to knock my backwards into the grass, mouth opened in shock. I gargled ineffectually on my own spit.
How! How could this be happening! That bastard purple mare had said she knew my mother. She must have taken her memories, and taken my memories, and done something with them. Mother bucking unicorn magicians. I bet I was in the thralls of a powerful spell even now, playing out her little jester's dance.
Boaris stood over me. “Gammy, are you ok?” He was very concerned.
“Gamma Tales, or Gumwia Star?” I asked, eyes darting about, desperate to see anything but the strapping stallion before me.
“What?” He seemed confused, and a little offended.
“Who am I, Detective Burns? Gamma Tales or Gumwia Star?” I asked again weakly.
“Gammy, we really need to get you some help.” He put a hoof to my shoulder in support.
“Buck the doctor! Who the buck am I?!” I began to yell, drawing the attention of several ponyvillians.
“Holy buck. You're Gamma Tales. I don't even know a Gumwia star, honest.” Boaris cradled me. “You're the only mare, I swear it. There is no Gumwia Star.”
Not yet, there isn't.
There I was, in the body of my mother, an apparent adulterer, in the hooves of a stallion who I regarded as a father figure. “This is so wrong.”
“Is everything alright?” Some mare asked us. I couldn't properly hear her for a ringing in my ears.
Boaris gentility released me and faced the mare. “My friend here just isn't feeling very well.”
“Is she hurt? I have a bit of first aid training.” The mare spoke again. This time her voice cut through my mental haze. With a shocked start, I rolled onto my stomach and faced her like a predator ready to pounce.
Sure enough, it was Rainmare. That cocky dilettante couldn't stay away, could she.
Without her winter clothes, the little mare looked very soft, like an unblemished fuzzy grape. Her eyes lacked the depth and emotion I'd seen in the real Ponyville. I suppose if you are self inserting in your mind world, you might as well make yourself look good.
“No, no. She's just tired.” Boaris assured her. But Rainmare wasn't looking at him. She was staring at me, as if I had something offensive written on my forehead. We stared at each other for several for several moments, with Boaris nervously glancing between us.
“Have I met you before?” She broke the silence first.
“Why, do you know me?” I contended haughtily.
“No, but something is telling me that I should.” She explained slowly.
If I had kept my guns in this mind world, you'd better believe this tart would be dead by now. As it was, I struggled to keep myself from going for her throat. All in good time.
“I think we have something to discuss in private.” I stood up. My mother was apparently shorter than I, for I no longer at eye level with Rainmare.
“Why don't we go to my library.” She said. Turning to Burns she apologized. “She is sicker than you realize, I'm afraid. I'm really sorry but this is somewhat of an emergent problem.”
Boaris nodded. “I don't really understand, but your the expert.”
Rainmare led the way back into Ponyville, only stopping for a few moments to offer her apologies to the party of six she had been picnicking with. I noticed with some satisfaction that Pinkie Pie was among them, consistent with my earlier venture into this sunny land.
Pinkie recognized me and gave a joyful little wave as I passed by. We'll see how happy she is after I choke her friend with my bare hooves.
We neared the entered Ponyville, I could see that the library was intact and unburnt. It figured. It had sounded like Twilight Sparkle and Rainmare where a conspiracy who had killed Pinkie and pasted her on the walls of the real library before it burned down. Rainmare would want a familiar or comfortable setting for her mind confrontation.
I felt it was time to go on the psychological offensive. “I don't know your name, but I but it rhymes with Hazy Snitch.”
She stopped dead in her tracks, and turned to face me. “Excuse me?” She sounded confused.
“Yeah, you head me! I still owe you for the alley too. I'll have you know I'm only playing along so I can find your weakness. Ponies like you always let your hubris carry you farther than you can play.”
She watched sceptically, but then turned away, resuming her trot. “You can call me Student.”
“Yeah, and I'm going to teach you the meaning of pain.” I shot.
“Oh really? Would you like for me to explain your situation to you, or would you like the pleasure of showing off.”
Her inflection was that of an adult speaking to a two year old. She refused to even to me the dignity of facing me while she spoke.
“Ha! I knew you knew me! Why even bother pretending anymore!” I blustered. I wondered if I should pounce now or wait until the privacy of the library.
“By first impression, I gather you where standoffish, so apparently I'm a reliable judge of character. Or judge of posture and expression.” She continued. “I still haven’t identified the stance for jerk. You make a good baseline though, for future reference.”
“We'll see how well you can insult me with a hoof through your forehead.” We were mere paces from the library door. I could conceivably drag her inside before anybody noticed.
Pausing at the entryway, she turned to face me. “I don't think you see the whole story here.”
“I suppose you think there is something more substantial to this little delusion you've conjured up? Some religious or symbolic significance?” I seethed.
“Wow. I far understated your stupidity.” Rainmare said causticly. “I'll just have to adjust that little note.”
Her horned glowed brightly. Knowing it to be then or never, I leapt forward to cut off her attack. But I was too late. I was encased in purple magic which suspended me a foot in the air.
“Yeah, try me why don't you. Let me say that this has really not been my week.” She opened the library door and carried me inside. I'd never seen it's interior of the grand oak before. It really was a proper library and home, with a large central room encircled my bookcases.
Student moved me to the middle of the room and disappeared into a side room. She reappeared with a notepad and pencil.
“Tell me everything you know about your temporal shifts.”
“How about I tell you to buck off!” I remained defiant despite my absolute vulnerability.
“I'm trying to help you. You've been nothing but contrary and aggressive.” She said exasperated. “Whatever. In a few seconds you'll be future Twilight's problem.”
“You rang.” Another pony emerged onto the scene, from a little balcony overlooking the main library room. Student and I turned to look at her.
It was a second purple pony, greatly resembling the one who now held me in her telekinetic grasp. With a few key differences, that is. The new pony was much taller, possessing the proportions nearer to a deer or a particularly tall colt. That may have been because new pony had wings in addition to her horn, and was in fact an alicorn princess.
But new pony had eyes like I'd never seen. They where a swirling storm of purple and white. They practically telegraphed determination and antagonism, a violent and vain intelligence.
Those where not eyes you could make up. If anything in the world about me was real, it was the dark soul behind those eyes.
I suddenly had very serious doubts about pursuing Student to my own selfish end.
“What, is now a bad time.” Alicorn sauntered down the stairs to our level. “Looks like you where about to have fun with a NEW FRIEND WITHOUT ME.” Her voice rang of hatred and betrayal. She bounded the remaining distance to us, and smashed into the floor to leer imposingly over her doppelganger.
“YOU CAN'T DO THAT ANYMORE, TWILIGHT SPARKLE. YOU HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO YOUR REAL FRIENDS.” New pony was hella mad. Non-alicorn purple pony cowered under her shadow, and tried to make herself as small as possible, even releasing me. She stammered as she gave an explanation.
“No! No! I swear she's just a visitor who need help. She's not my friend. Please, I swear it.” I drew a perverse pleasure at seeing that bastard humbled like that, although it was still tempered by the fact that it was her near mirror image delivering the beatdown, and not me.
“WHERE ARE YOUR FRIENDS THEN, HMM?” Alicorn was relentless.
“They're by the river! They know I'm here, they understand! I promise!” Tears streamed down Student's face.
“Well then,” Like a wax candle, the envious inferno on Alicorn's voice blew out. “I should go pay them a visit. You can have whatever fun you want with this mare...”
The winged unicorn faced me. I could almost feel my heart being dissected by her scrutiny. “Do I know you?” She growled.
Despite only having seen the pitiful little Student five times and only speaking to her thrice, I felt as though I had a rather reliable grasp on the mare. This alicorn thing was a whole different animal.
I could imagine the unicorn creating a mind prison as mundane as a Ponyville luncheon, but I doubted the most depraved lunatic could envision this vengeful princess parody.
The night my father was murdered and mu mother was crippled, I had felt vulnerable and afraid. When I had heard the lethal commotion from within my own home my fear drove me to run and to hide from the yells and the cries. I didn't emerge until long after the murderer had fled, and Boaris Burns had arrived. He told me not to be afraid. He said justice would be served and the bad pony would get his just deserts.
He promised me the time to be scared was over. The best I could be now, was brave. And I so swore.
I looked deep into those purple eyes, those unceasing tempests of vehement ardor.
“Because, you remind me of somepony.” Alicorn circled me slowly, devouring me with her eyes. Normally, that imagery would be sexy, but right now I was nearly wetting my pants for a very different reason. From her spot on the floor, unicorn pony watched in sympathetic and anxious fear.
“Somepony you like, I hope.” The words where choked by nervous constrictions in my throat, coming out as a pitiful squeak.
“Same white coat, same silly stringy hair.” She lifted up a strand of my mane with her magic and examined it. “Although your's is ochre and hers is more of a saffron.” She stopped and took my face in her hoof, forcing me to look at her. “But you have the same eyes.”
“Princess, thats enough.” Student's voice startled the alicorn from her surveillance. I expected a backlash, but received only a hearty chuckle.
“Oh, yes. I suppose she's your little pony and not mine.” The princess released my face and swept by me, once more making for the door. “My little ponies are waiting for me by the river.”
As I watched, the alicorn's outstretched wings where encased in violet magic, and disappeared. At every step she took she became shorter, until she was nigh an inch taller than the unicorn she resembled. But these were illusions, camouflage. The much smaller mare still moved with that air and manor or a much larger organism, betraying her true power.
With a final flick of her tail, Princess Alicorn thing exited the library, taking care to shut the door with her magic as she passed.
“I'm not dreaming, am I.” As I came to terms with this I also wanted so much to be wrong, as that meant I could wake up, and the lavender alicorn would never have existed. I just wanted out and away so badly. I'm not sure I had the strength to hate or fight anymore.
“That was Princess Twilight Sparkle. It's her third visit in as many days. Didya like her?” Student was beside me, and then over me as I fell to the ground in exhaustion. Just as soon as her more powerful clone was gone, it was back to bitch mode.
“Like I said, it's not been my week. Dealing with birdbrained time paradoxes like you will make it nary better.”
“Holy Celestia. Your big sister is no joke.” I groaned, taking her abuse. “ I was having fun chasing you through the streets. Can I go back to that?”
“You know, I assumed that the Princess was the pony who tagged you, which would explain why you were so mean to me, but I guess you're just a cowardly brat.”
“”Don't push me, filly.” I shook away the mask of drowsy fear, and sat up. “I've still got your number.”
“Chances are that you will never see me again. I get the unfortunate pleasure meeting you again someplace in my future, or so this tag suggests.”
“You keep mentioning a tag.”
She smirked. “I was waiting for you to ask about that. Your tag was rather hastily cast, so I think future me only had a second with you and didn't have time to explain.”
“What bucking tag are you talking about.” I growled.
“Hold still for a moment and you'll find out.”
I was encased in her magic. It faded quickly.
“Considering you're somewhat of an unreliable narrator, a future me saw fit to affix a magical transcription to your consciousness, so that other mes would know your chronological historiograph. It's called a soul tag. I just updated yours.”
“Seriously, soul tag?” I scoffed.
“It's a magical pattern of my own creation, based on the magical consciousness theorems of Maritellus the Hat. I'm the only pony who can cast and recognize one. And Princess Twilight, I suppose.”
I don't think I could trust Student to not be seriously messing with my mind with this 'soul tag' thing.
She continued. “Future me, who was once present me, must have seen you without the tag and applied it, knowing that you would soon be shifted to the past, or right now. Which is your past, I assume?”
“Yeah, I'm from the bright and shiny future. Ponies always told me I'm living in the past.” I said without humor.
“The good news is you won't be here forever. Only every so often, relative to your last position in time. I assume that particular minds are more conductive to your time shifting, so I expect shift events to be clustered around this point and when you left.” She talked faster and faster as she grew exited at her own conjectures.
“Or not. Who knows? I've only had one firsthand experience with time travel. Well, twice. Well, the same event, put from two different perspectives. I suppose I could ask Princess Twilight, but honestly she gets awfully defensive, and you won't believe how she gets when she's mad. I doubt that..”
“Oh my god! Shut the buck up!” I yelled. Student fell silent, but fixed me with an angry glare.
I stared right back, but I yielded quietly after a few seconds.
“You said I you can send me back.”
“Send you? Hah, I wish! No, It's out of my control. Though it's not random. I suspect some cosmic force is pulling you from place to place, or time to time. It's curious really, nature abhors a paradox. You wouldn't be shifting for no reason and no offense, but you don't seem like a powerful enough magician to perturb space-time.”
“Yeah whatever. When am I leaving?”
“Well, I don't make a habit of plotting probabilities based on only two data points, so now would be a good time to tell me about your shifts.” She conjured a notepad and a quill, and watched me expectantly.
“I don't know. I like, went back to a time before now, I think...”
“You left your normal and contiguous time stream?” Student asked while taking notes.
“Yeah. Then I went forward past where I had left, and then back to now.”
“Interesting. It would appear my oscillation hypothesis was more accurate then I thought. How long was each shift?”
“First was about two minutes and the second was about seven.”
“Really? Hmm.” Rainmare transcribed my words at a furious clip, adding her notes and observations. “How did the shift event feel?”
“I uh...” It was a difficult question particularly because each time I felt as though nothing had changed. Only after several seconds did I see any discontinuity. “I guess like waking up from a dream...” Not really, but I couldn't think of a better way to say it.
“Do you think you could use an adjective to describe the experience?” Student hadn't written the description I had supplied. What, wasn't it good enough for her?
“How about buck you!” I lashed out.
“You are the worst research subject ever!” Student bristled. “Fine! Be that way! Some easier questions might suit you better.”
“Name?” She started down her list.
“Gumwia Star.” I responded. Why was I going along with this crazy mare?
“Age?”
“36.”
“Birth year?”
“1001 Summer Sun.”
“Interesting.” She nodded. “Do you know whose body it is you are currently occupying?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Really? Who?”
“My mother, Gamma Tales”
Student gasped while penning that particular line. “That would mean...” She looked up at me, like she was searching for a way to brooch a sensitive subject.
But, I interrupted whatever thought she was having.. “In case you where interested, the white mare with saffron hair that your better half recognized was my proper self.”
“My goodness.” She breathed. “You're intertwined alright. I'll probably be seeing a lot more of you...”
-
Phase Six
I had been about to say something.
My strength had been returning, as had my courage, so I just decided on a witty comeback that was along the lines of 'Yeah, in your dreams ponygirl', or maybe 'Yeah, in your bed ponygirl'. Always keeping it classy here in the mind of Gumwia Star.
But now, I was here. Where was here? I did a full 360. Here was a dirt road, leading out of Ponyville into the hills. Here was in my proper body, with the properly melancholy grey sky. Here the grass was a dark lime, and the sparse trees were a hearty spring green.
I breathed a sigh of relief. Who on Celestia's own earth knew how much time had passed, but I was once more in the saddle. I had not forgotten the reason for my being in Ponyville, namely the murder of Pinkie, maybe. Who knew what the blood splatter in the library had been. It was my charge to find out, and the only lead I had was the off the record confession of a time-traveler.
Semi-confession. Student had pointed to Twilight as the killer. I had half a mind to believe her, but I had no incidents with Twilight in this time so far.
“Do you think we'll find some answers up there?” From behind me, huffing and puffing as he struggled up the path, was Boaris. Old, decrepit, totally not young an hot Boaris.
I shrugged. “There's only one way to find out.” I charged up the hill. Chasing after whatever lead I had been following in my conscious absence.
I wonder what happens in that time I've been missing. Does my body and mind still act the same way I would, but without my soul? Since I was essentially hostilely occupying my mother's mind in the other, sunny Ponyville, does some other consciousness take my body? Does my mother?
Before this train of thought had carried me too far, I arrived at the end of the road. Gracing the top of this gently sloping hill was a graveyard, dotted with marble obelisks and shade trees.
Somepony had mentioned a graveyard. I dug through my memory to recall who. It had been two shifts ago, before I chased Twilight. It had been... Boaris.
Yes! Boaris had mentioned a graveyard. But now that I thought about it, he had spoken about it as if we had already come here.
“Hey Boaris, what happened last time we where here? Why are we coming back!” I yelled back down the hill, but my partner didn't hear. I turned back to the graveyard, confused.
I had been to the graveyard during one of the shifts, and don't remember it. I had shifted twice more, and was in a graveyard now.
Slowly but surely, I pieced together a revelation in my head. The answer to where my mind went when I shifted! I was in here the whole time, but just from a different place in my own progression!
It made so much sense now! Well, not really but certain details were now explicable. My confrontation and chase of Student happened before the library burned down. Now, I was even further back than that, before I chased Student.
Chase Student? Will chase Student?
Proper grammar aside, I was suddenly propelled by the urge to note this graphically, for my own understanding's sake. That way, next time I shift I can just mark down where in time I was in relation to all the other shifts!
Oh, wait a second... That would only benefit my future body though. How could I mark down where I was if I shifted before this point. Or rather when I shifted, because like, I'm thinking now that I'm filling in the time between my arrival in Ponyville and the burning library.
I checked my pockets. Sadly there was no time map. So past me who was future conscious me didn't make one. What would a time map even look like?
“Sup.” I cringed at the sudden voice intruding on my thoughts. I wheeled around to face the interloper, ready to extract an apology. But alas, it was Student, in the winter getup I'd seen in the alleyway.
“You slimy mother bucker,” I seethed. “I've grown wise to your manipulations.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Sorry, I mistook you for another pony. Have you seen the stupidest mare in Equestria anywhere? About your height, about your build?”
“Yeah. Laugh it up fuzzball. Want to tell me why you're following me?”
Student squinted here eyes and intently stared at the space between my eyes.
“So far, you've been tagged once by future me and once by past me. The last time I saw you, you had been tagged once by past me and twice by future me.” She mulled over this.
“Which means that this tag...” I glowed with her magic for a moment. “Is was the most recent one I saw. When you leave, you'll be going to when I leave of this time. Give or take.”
“I'm glad one of thus is keeping this strait in her head.” I grumped.
“Aww.” She gushed with mock adoration. “Is that the sound of a heart melting, Baka?”
“Well, now that you've tagged me I can kill you and past you will be none the wiser!” I countered, patting my guns for emphasis.
“But I marked you once from my future. Past me saw it too. Killing me now would cause a paradox. You're already in enough of a temporal mess as it is.”
“There'll be a point where I can kill you without a paradox happening. When that moment arrives, I will.”
“Ah but you won't. I can say with absolute certainty you never kill me.” Student asserted.
“And how do you know?”
“Hmm. Call it the gift of foresight. Or Hindsight?” She paused in thought.
“Princess Twilight? What are you doing here.” At the mention of that horrible princess, I froze in place searching for where the alicorn might be hiding. Seeing nothing, I faced the speaker. Boaris had only just arrived on the hilltop. I followed his gaze to the unicorn Student.
“Boaris don't... startle me, like that.” I admonished.
“Eh, I'm just checking your reflexes, as they say.” He ribbed. Then he turned back to Student. “Your highness, what happened to your wings?”
He was mistaking this purple pony for the wing one! Which meant the alicorn Twilight might exist in this time as well! My shifts back to sunny Ponyville had to be at least 37 years ago, and Student was like, 20 then. So it made sense for her no be mistaken for this ageless princess in my present.
On a tangential note, I should find Student now that she's old and infirm, and unable to defend herself.
Student seemed to be at a loss for words. If she gave away to much my little shifting problem might be revealed! I can't let Boaris know I know about him and mother! Hold on a second... I know it will not be revealed since future Burns seemed not to know.
Or perhaps that could cause a paradox.
“The princess just wanted to conceal her wings. Uh... As a sign of respect! Yes! A sign of respect for the dead, uh, departed.” I stammered out.
Boaris seemed sold. “Certainly your highness. I only ask you do not interrupt our investigations here. We already have your statement, after all.”
He gave a bow and proceeded deeper into the graveyard.
I followed him for a few steps but as I passed Student I grabbed the scruff of her jacket and pulled her close.
“Stay out of my way while I'm solving the murder, and I'll make your death painless.”
“Oh, you'll solve it alright. All the grisly details will be reviled to you.” She grinned.
I pushed her back. “I'm serious! In my own idiom and on own time.”
She nodded so I walked away. Before I had proceeded more than a few steps she spoke again.
“Uhm, about Twilight Sparkle”
I immediately in her face again.
“Don't you buckin mention that buckin monster one more time. She's YOUR problem. I want nothing to do with it.”
I turned and stomped away angrily. The bastard called after me. “Don't forget that she recognized you. It's going to be at least a little bit your problem.”
I ignored her, and made strait for where Boaris was waiting, next to a little line of graves.
“Are you causing trouble for the princess.” By which he meant not-an-alicorn lavender unicorn pony.
“No matter what she says or does, just keep away from her, ok.” I didn't need Boaris concerning himself when there was a case to solve.
“Uh, if you insist.” He shrugged, “Anyway, this is the pony she mentioned to me at the hospital.” Boaris gestured to a grave with his wing.
It was at the end of a sequence of four other three, in order of their date of death. It was new.
Applejack
Born-11.1.983 SS
Died-3.5.1137 SS
“Why, that was only last week!” I exclaimed.
“Yup. Looks like these are the others she mentioned as well.”
The three other graves read out plainly.
Fluttershy
Born-5.5.982 SS
Died-12.24.1131 SS
Died on Hearth's Warming Eve. That's kinda sad
Rarity
Born-2.29.981 SS
Died-3.1.1132
Was 981 even a leap year?
Rainbow Curtesy Dash
Born-2.1.983 SS
Died-3.17.1135
Heh, no comment.
Boaris continued after I finished my examination. “I took the liberty of peeking into the files of these mares while we where in the hospital. These mares had something in common.” He was somber.
“They were about the same age.” I pointed out.
“Not the shocking bit but yes, these where the other mares in Twilight and Pinkie's little clique.”
I double checked the birth dates. If I was shifting back say, 37 years to 1000 SS, these mare would be in their prime. These might have been the other ponies at the riverside picnic. That was fairly plausible considering what I'd seen of Twilight and Pinkie there. I'd use my mother's age as a reference but I honestly don't remember how old she is.
“Just tell me.”
“They where all diagnosed with a rare form of magical cancer. The same kind that Pinkie has.” Boaris explained.
One. Pinkie was alive. I was wondering about all these references to the hospital, but I guessed I'd find out in time. I suppose I did.
However, that the obnoxious pink pony (who was, according to that deputy, still an active party pony despite being 50 sumthing) was in the hospital with what I would infer is the last stages of a very deadly magical cancer, explained why she had fallen off the radar. She didn't want anyone to worry.
Two. These other mares who also ran with Twilight and Pinkie had died of the same rare cancer. Boaris hadn't said the princess had this cancer. Something had dosed this little group with deadly doses of magical radiation, but had no effect on alicorn princesses.
“This is neat and all, but what does this have to do with the blood flood at the library.” I asked my partner.
He shrugged. “Princess Twilight said all the answers were here. After we saw Pinkie alive, I kinda thought that mean she had killed some other pony, and that was a confession. When I saw her standing over there without her wings I was sure of it.”
He looked over the graves again. “But now I don't know. All her friends, cut down before their time. These where the ponies she looked to for help and answers, and so she sends us to them. She really was here to respect them.”
It was hurting me to recall my encounter with that princess. It had disturbed my at every level, made me fear for my sanity, my life, and the life of everypony I hold dear. Twilight Sparkle had exuded an aura of suffering, pain, anguish, torture. Insanity and loss.
Once more, things where falling into place. What if, like me, Princess Twilight Sparkle had not been native to my mother's time stream. What if she had not recognized me because she was an omnipresent alicorn goddess, but because she had met me only an hour ago at the hospital.
“Perhaps she was crying for help.” I whispered.
“What would a princess need help from.” Boaris asked.
“Herself.”
Twilight Sparkle. Twilight Sparkle. Princess Twilight Sparkle.
Her friends.
She had mentioned her friends, by the river. She was going to see her friends. Why? Because her friends from her own time where dead. It was so clear now.
But What about past Twilight Sparkle? Wouldn't the princess get in her own way if she was constantly going back to see her past friends? I could only imagine how tedious that would be, stepping on each others hooves for time with the clique. It'd be like a polypony custody battle. Not to mention, present Twilight would need to disguise herself to look like past Twilight so as not to alert the friends to the scheme...
…
…
oh my god.
-
Phase Seven
I sat cross legged on a cushion, staring across a tea set at Student. I was in the library once more. The sky outside was frightful; The howling wind and heavy rain shook and tapped against the windows.
I was my mother once again. I was much fatter than I had been the last time I had been here, more in line with how my geriatric old lady was in my time. My dress looked like it had been sewn from a carpet, it's brown and green floral patterns revolting.
I was holding a teacup. I let it drop to the floor, and it shattered.
“Gamma? Are you alright?” Student asked me.
“It's not Gamma right now.” I scrutinized the mare before me, seeing her in a new light since my revelation. If I was correct, this pony was...
“Twilight Sparkle.” I said steadily.
Twilight looked deep into my eyes. “Gumwia Star had returned, sporting an updated tag.”
“Eup.” I kept my voice and gaze level, but I was burning inside. “I've learned quite a bit in my absence. I might just know more than you do right now.”
“You know nothing.” She shook her head. “What to you was probably no more than an hour's difference was a year to me.
“Yeah mother bucker, but I'm from the future.” I said with some annoyance.
She smiled. “And so am I. Just not yet.”
Holy Celestia this mare was annoying. Yet, I knew it was not yet the time to kill her.
“Why am I here?” I looked around the library. I was starting to this a prerequisite to the shift was a proximity to Sparkle Sparkle here.
“Your mother was over for some tea.” Twilight said, pointing to my broken teacup. “She was in town, and was looking for advice.”
“Is she your friend now? Is the psychobitch princess version of you going to steal her too?” I fleered.
“I'm not finding that very funny right now. Princess Twilight has gone out of control. I can't get her to hide her wings around town anymore, and she's monopolizing my life. She doesn't believe the consequences this much timestream alteration will have.” She murmured. “You are one such consequence.”
“Say what now?” I leaned forward, eyes narrowed aggressively.
“I very quickly realized that your oscillation in the time stream was a result of the universe trying to mend the paradoxes the princess is causing. So, I befriended your mother, planning to narrow down the range of possible foci and stoping this at it's source. Interestingly, I don't think you would have been born without your own paradox.”
“What!” I yelled in indignant disbelief.
“Recall, if you will, your mother's first visit to Ponyville. It was a date, between her and her secret lover, a detective pegasus named Boaris Burns. Your mother told me all about it. She can recall the entire morning, except for a stretch of about five minutes. Even with psychosomatic hypnosis, this time frame is dark to me. It'd be inexplicable, but for your little impositions on her mind.”
“Yeah, and?” I challenged.
“Well, it's only that it was within these five minutes that she was incapacitated by a hit over the head. Your mother awoke nearly an hour later, in a cab back to Canterlot, ignorant to how she got there. She and Boaris met again, and again, and once more and you crashed that party.”
“Don't remind me. That ruined everything I thought I knew about Boaris.” I cringed.
“Wait, you know Boaris?” Twilight was shocked.
“Uh, yeah. I guess you don't know yet, but I'm a detective and Boaris is my partner.”
Twilight bit her lower lip in concern. Her eyes darted around the room, looking for answers.
“What is it.” I demanded.
“I... You'd be better off not knowing.” Twilight looked fearful.
“Tell me!” I pressed.
“There's a high likelihood that Detective Burns violated your mother while she was unconscious, and is your father.”
Red, purple, white, red. I was on my hooves, Twilight underneath me. I was choking her, by god I was going to kill that lying bitch. Red, red, purple, red.
“TAKE IT BACK!” I howled, tears streaming down my face. “YOU BUCKING MOTHER BUCKER YOU TAKE THAT BACK!”
Within seconds, my hooves had become too slippery with my own tears to get a solid grip, and I slipped off the limp mare. I fell to the side. I felt so raw and yet so numb at the same time. I needed to kill so badly and yet I needed to die. I had no mouth, no nose, no eyes, only drool and snot and tears.
A comforting hoof cradled me while another ran through my mane. Twilight held me to her, stabilizing me against the violent sobs and shaking wails. It was so pleasant and so maternal, I could have forgotten about the harsh cruel world for only a moment, and reveled in that embrace.
“I want you to think about your life, what it means. Fate delivered you to me, I see that now.” She whispered into my ear. She gripped my mother's fat body tightly. “You where brought into existence for only one purpose, to set the timeline right.”
What she meant, I could not comprehend. My thoughts retourned continuously to Boaris, the paragon of law and order. Tough, hardy, austere at times. There was no way. No way.
“I'm at the end of my rope here. I'm sorry, but this is the only way.” It was Twilight voice, but it was not Twilight speaking. Nay, the Twilight that held me whispered only pleasant platitudes and calming hushes.
I opened my eyes, which I had pressed together tightly, with the intent of never opening them again come hell or high water; I lie to myself a lot, I conclude.
Hell Mk II had come to the Ponyville library. Princess Twilight Sparkle stood over us, wide eyed and manic. She was speaking, gibbering, mostly to herself. Only every third words was loud enough to be discernible.
“Set things right, don't forget that.” Very slowly, Twilight released me and turned to face her future self. “Now is not a good time.” Her eyes where red with tears as well.
Princess Twilight shook her head emphatically. “No, no. Now. Now. Now now now.”
I wanted to crawl away. I wanted to hide. I wanted to strike. I wanted to draw blood, to bite and scratch.
Princess Twilight Sparkle was my mother just as much as Gamma Star, for this creature's rips in time had provoked my existence. I hated my mother. I hate this abomination.
I made a decision. A decision to make a stand. I was tired of being whisked about by circumstance, tired of being powerless. Right here and right now, I was going to stand my ground. Some bucker besides me was going to be inconvenienced this rainy day. I may not have my guns, but I still have sharps tools in my arsenal.
“Get away from her.” I vocalized, somewhere between a gurgle and a whine. I cleared my throat and said it again.
“You don't understand. No, no. You don't understand what it's like. The most precious and delicate flowers in all the world wilted at my touch.” Princess Twilight was now loud enough to form comprehensible sentences. “I need to try again! Don't you understand? I need to get it right!”
Twilight was on her hooves. “I know. I know. I already agreed.”
“You had your chance.” I said.
“If she never become a princess, my friends are never dosed with the magical radiation that kills them.” Princess Twilight repeated to me.
“They're not your friends, princess. They're her friends. You had a good run, and maybe you made a few mistakes but that;s life you know.” I was being surprising mature considering how much I loathed this mare.
“Don't you ever think about all the decisions in life you've made, about all your actions and choices? Don't you ever feel as though your past self would benefit from the knowledge and experience you have now? All I've done is offer knowledge. I already knew what to do.” Princess Twilight said vacantly.
“She's right. I'm making a willing sacrifice.” Twilight concurred.
“Is this what your friends want? Would they want you to give up everything so that they may live a little longer?”
“No and thats why I have to make the choice for them.” Twilight said a bit too quickly.
“No second thoughts!” Princess Twilight snarled.
“You can be better than this bitch, clawing desperately at her past glories, unable to move on. You're better than that and you always will be!” I pronounced.
“I can't let them go like that! They're my best friends!” Now all three of us where yelling.
“No going back! No turning away!” Princess Twilight bashed a hoof into the floor board splintering it.
“What do you want?! What ever it is, do it! Do what you want! Take what you want!” I was speaking to Twilight, but I faced the Princess, grinning in triumph.
“I.. I can't decide.” Twilight buried her face in her hooves.
“IT'S DO OR DIE!” The princess shook the room with her yells.
“Please, just let me live my own life.” Twilight's tears came freely now.
Princess Twilight Sparkle surged with magic, corresponding with a soul fracturing roar. Her horn erupting with purple energy, she turned on her former self. A lance of light, and Twilight was tossed backwards, a split-second shield saving her life. But then came another stab of the lethal energy.
Twilight had a hole in her chest. The contents of that hole, which had once been vital organs, were now splattered to the back wall. Twilight looked down at the hole, then back up at the princess, her face contorted by shock and pain. Another lance, a second hole and a second splatter of blood and guts.
Princess Twilight unleashed blast after blast of magic, never once hesitating or interrupting her frenzied shrieks. In a matter of seconds, Twilight Sparkle was gone, torn apart bit by bit.
The princess turned on me. Pure white magic leaked from her eyes, leached off her fur, boiled her horn. “Do what you want. Take what you want.” She spat my own word back at me, her voice warbled with exertion and emotion. “Kill what you want. Keep what you kill. Eat poison. Eat a pony. Eat a wolf. It doesn't matter now. The world is going to die, but it doesn't realize it yet.”
With a flash of her horn, five new ponies appeared in the room. Before I could get a good look at them, another wave of magic crashed into me, and I was propelled through a window into the rain outside.The whole library was incased in throbbing purple magic, blinding me. When my vision cleared, the library was gone, it's spot home instead to a massive hole in the dirt, which immediately began to fill with rain.
That old tree just could not catch a break.
-
Phase Eight
The lights where dim. The halls where white and sterile. The only noise was the infrequent beep of a nearby machine. A hospital.
Twilight was dead. Obliterated, in fact, by a jealous facsimile. She was the victim, the mare plastered on the library wall. She's still there probably, considering my hospital visit was before the library burned.
One. The resulting paradox had not immediately destroyed time and space. I didn't have an explanation, but this told me that on some level, Twilight Sparkle had survived. After all, I'd seen her in the graveyard, and that Twilight had come after the point I had seen her death. The words 'alternate timeline' came to mind.
Two. Princess Twilight had kidnapped the gang and the tree, and escaped somewhere to in the recent past. Thats how the had the blood gotten there. Consequently, there where currently two Princess Twilights in this world: One who was contiguous with this time stream, but would soon meet me and then toodle off to the past for an escapist vacation. The second was the Princess I had just seen kill her other self. No telling where they where.
I smelled blood. That one thing about Twilight's death which surprised me was that I had smelled no blood or burning fur or ozone. But here, the air was thick with it, like a pony had gone by with a spray bottle of the stuff.
I heard talking, from one of the room. One voice was masculine, the other authoritative and feminine. Boaris and the Princess, most likely.
Boaris... I was completely unwilling to believe Twilight's conjecture about my mother and him. I was not a mistake of fate, and he had not raped my mother. These two points where absolutely ludicrous. I refused to even consider it, though it had rubbed me the wrong way when Twilight had suggested it. I'd need to apologize about choking her just as soon as I found a shift she was alive in.
I looked down the hallway and saw a soda machine. I trotted over and inserted a bill, and the machine dispensed a little can of fizzy sugar water. I opened the can and took a sip. It was satisfying; I hadn't realized but I was quite thirsty.
I returned to my post by the door with the voices, can in hoof. How could I go on after this was all over? My relationship with Boaris would be forever changed, considering it was possible he was my father. How could I hold myself with any respect, considering I had been repeatedly humbled by a purple floozie and carried unwittingly through forty years of mundane timey-wimey mumbo jumbo.
It was cut and dry now. Find Princess Twilight and arrest her for the murder of Twilight Sparkle 35 years ago. But the Twilight on the other side of that door was innocent, totally ignorant to the crime she would soon commit. Or had committed.
I could kill her. Indeed, if the premature death of Twilight Sparkle hadn't destroyed all of existence, offing the Princess shouldn't either. They where the same pony after all.
The voices behind the door stopped, and moments later it was pushed open. Boaris emerged, holding a little list.
“You're up Gummy. I'm gunna swing by the hospital records. Meet you at the reception.”
I nodded my acknowledgment and let him pass me. Still holding my soda, I entered the hospital room. It was darker still than the somber hall, the only light coming from behind drawn curtains and from the gallery of machines. Laying in the room's only bed was Pinkie Pie, a skeletal and pale creature barely making a bump in the sheet which cover her. Off to the side of the room, looking contemplative, was Princess Twilight.
“Hello detective.” She whispered. As she looked at my I saw her eyes still contained much of the pain and turmoil of her older self.
“Princess.” I said, then I drank from my soda. I trotted over to the bedside. How Pinkie was still alive I was not be sure. She couldn't weigh more than a filly.
“Malignant magic neoplasm of the heart. Very rare, a hundred percent lethal.” Twilight spoke. “The chances of six cases in one town at the same time is eight billion to one.
“And yet, here she is.” I turned to the princess. “You know what caused this.”
She nodded. “Everypony knows, but nopony will willing to admit it.”
“You.” I said unaccusingly.
“Me.” She concurred. “Alicorn transformations are not pretty affairs. My friends where too close to me when it happened, and they received a lethal dose of magical radiation. Their cells, unable to withstand the energy, mutated, and began to feed off the magic within them.”
Twilight stood up and joined me at the bedside. She leaned over Pinkie and very slowly stroked the pink pony's mane. “I tried to help. I tried to reverse the process. But everything I did with my magic only fed the cancerous cells. They fought so hard, refusing to go in for live extending treatment, living their lives like nothing was different. Applejack and Rainbow Dash went out kicking.” She smiled wistfully, as if the brutal death of her best friend was a happy occasion.
“Rarity and Fluttershy died among their family and friends, and had no regret either. Pinkie here has survived in pure willpower. It was only at these final stages, when she felt cold death overtaking her, that she came to me, begging for a release from her pain. I sung her to sleep and carried her here. It's selfish, but I want to see her alive just a little longer, the last of my friends.”
She let out a sigh. “And now I hear somepony has gone and splashed blood all over my home.”
I took a sip from my soda. “I think it will be you.”
The air raised a few degrees in temperature. The lights flickered for a moment, the EKG machine attached to Pinkie began to beat faster. Twilight faced me.
“Are you sure this is something you want to do right now.” The alicorn was nearly twice my height, and looked down at me with a frown.
“I'm here to solve a murder, princess. I have reason to believe you are the killer. That you are also the victim is of tangental importance. You can't kill a pony and get away with it.”
I expected shock or surprise or indignation from the princess, but she showed no emotion. Could it be I had said nothing new? The question was, how had that come to pass. Had a future/past me told her?
“What do you know?” I asked slowly.
“Everything.” She answered levelly.
“How, did your future self tell you.” I played it cool, taking another sip from my soda.
“As if I'd need any other pony to give me knowledge. I'm not constrained by the same worldly fetters as you. When I look at you I can see...”
She leaned towards me, stormy eyes wide open. “The past, the present, the future. I know how this meeting will end. I know how the last meeting ended. I know your fate. Or at least...” She pulled back and trotted back to her chair in the corner. The room cooled and Pinkie's heart rate stabilized.
“I would know if you where not intertwined in this. As it stands, Ponyville is like a knotted rope, too tangled to distinguish where time starts and ends. Your little strand just happened to get wrapped about it. Even I cannot untangle you.”
“Am I the only one who is shifting like this.” I asked.
“I don't know. If there are any others, they are of no import.”
I felt a deep sense of desperation and purposelessness. I was cast adrift without a paddle, on an unmarked frontier with no guiding light.
“What am I to do?” I asked for no real reason.
“What do I care. You'll escape this time trap eventually, or not, and you will die like most little ponies do.” Twilight answered from her corner.
Red threatened to obscure my vision. I'm not helpless, I remembered. I drank the last of my soda. “I absolutely loath you. Did you know that.” I said.
In a blink of an eye I puled out my service pistol and smashed the empty soda can onto it. Within half a second, I leveled the gun with the princess's body and unleashed a rapid succession of shots.
My ghetto suppressor was ultimately useless, and every one of the shots deafened me in the small room. Princess Twilight slumped against the wall bleeding from a dozen wounds.
“That was just unnecessary.” She wheezed.
I stared back stoically. I hadn't expected to do lasting damage. Even as I watched, the the stream of blood reversed it's flow and the bullet holes in the mare's flesh knitted closed.
“You will have to better than that.” Twilight said once her repairs where complete. She stood up and waggled a hoof. “Give me your best shot. Try out that other big boy.” She pointed to my own Peacetrotter 60. I pulled the smoking and perforated soda can off my gun, and lobbed it at the princess.
I bounced off her face, and she blinked. Her grin widened from bemused to confidently self-satisfied.
“I'm leaving.” I declared. Turning my back to her and making for the door.
“I'll either be here or in my library if you want to vent any more.” She mocked, shadowing my movement.
The door closed behind me by Twilight's magic. Boaris was outside.
“What's going on? I heard shots!” He looked afraid for me.
“Princess Twilight was very expressive during her statement.” I illuminated.
He didn't buy it, but asked nothing more. “Well, where do we go now?” He asked.
I looked back at the closed door, where I imagined the princess sulked even now, planning the death and destruction of the universe. If she couldn't enjoy it, she was determined to make sure nobody enjoyed it.
“The graveyard.” I answered finally. “All the answers we seek are there.”
I let Boaris lead, and was left to my thoughts. But as I considered my situation, I found myself even more dissatisfied than I had been before.
I was back into the groove huh? Right back into the damn path, stitching together this bucking narrative so it all flows seamlessly together and Princess Twilight can package it with a pretty red ribbon and show off how clever she is. Where would it even end? Will I wake up in bed to find it had all been a dream, or perhaps find myself at my desk in Canterlot again, doomed to repeat this dance for all eternity.
BUCK THAT.
I did a heel turn and galloped back to Pinkie's room, both guns drawn. I smashed headlong into the door, and it was nearly torn off it's hinges as I made my entrance.
One. No Twilight Sparkle. She'd already departed and it obvious why.
Two. Pinkie had died. The pink pony had been completely disconnected from her life support, her face a pained grimace, purple for want of air. Even in one's sleep, suffocation was a grim affair.
I lowered my guns, resigned to my fate, and trotted out to catch up to Boaris.
My eyes strait forward, I caught an imperceptible glint out of the corner of my vision. I felt a teeny numbness at the nape of my neck. The air grew still about me and a single hair stood on end. Somehow, in a heightened state of awareness and conscious of these tells, I began to feel the shift happening.
When it did happen a tenth-of-a-second later, I wished I'd remained ignorant.
