“Twilight, do I really have to do this?” Spike trembled. Pinched between his claws was an eye dropper filled with a red liquid.
“Spike, remember our deal? You will be exempt from chores for the next month and a half if you do this one little thing for me.”
“O-Okay Twilight.” Spike struggled to raise the dropper above him. He stuck out his tongue and quickly squeezed a drop of the liquid onto his tongue. Immediately, he dropped to the floor with his hands over his mouth, writhing in pain.
“Spike! What is it? Are you alright?”
“H-H-HOOOOOOOT!” Spike's muffled screams reeked of hot pepper oil and garlic.
“Hmmm,” Twilight placed a hoof on her chin, “not quite what I'm looking for.”
“Nawh whu yaw hooking hor? Whu hoo yoo mean nawh whu yaw hooking hor?!” Spike's eyes were flowing with tears of pain.
“What I mean is that I'm not satisfied with the level of spice in version thirty five of my refinement breaker hot sauce.”
“Buh wai?” Spike said, massaging his scorched tongue.
“I will admit that I am impressed that this is even able to make a dragon feel discomfort, but I need something that will make even the most refined individual forget everything they knew about elegance!”
Twilight has been observing the mannerisms of upperclass ponies such as Fancy Pants and noticed that even when they experience discomfort, they express it quietly and under a calm demeanor. Twilight decided to conduct a little experiment of her own on the nature of these behaviors. Specifically, when they are upset.
Over the past week and a half, Twilight has been working on creating a hot sauce that would get the desired reaction out of ponies.
“I just have to add more rainbow extract.” Twilight held up a brightly colored vial with her magic and proceeded to empty its contents into a vat of glowing liquid. She mixed it with a metal rod for five minutes. To her pleasant surprise, the rod was slightly corroded from the spice. This caused a wicked grin to form on her face.
“Twiligth? Ith everything okay?” Spike asked worriedly.
“I'm just great, Spike. I think it's time for the ultimate test.” Twilight whipped around to face Spike, who was cowering like a scarred dog.
“No! I don't want anymore of that thtuff!”
“I meant that I was going to take this out and conduct a field test. You're free to do whatever you want for the next month and a half.”
“Oh, okay, thankth. Bye Twilighth!” Spike cheerfully scurried up the stairs and out the library door.
Twilight turned to her notebook and spoke aloud as she began scribbling a quick note, “Loss of feeling in the tongue seems to be a side effect. Duration is unknown and no signs of it being permanent.”
Today was a special day for Ponyville. Rarity decided to host a fancy party and invite some familiar names such as Fancy Pants, Fleur de Lis, Jet Set and Upper Crust. Of course, Twilight had planned for all of this. She didn't want to go all the way to Canterlot and try to force feed the Canterlot elites.
The party was being held in town hall. The inside was decorated so that it reflects elegance in many shapes and forms. The tables were lined with disappointingly small plates of food which fancy ponies seem to enjoy. Why ponies enjoy eating so little was beyond Twilight's comprehension, but that's a different study for a different time because right now, she's got to spice up the party.
Rarity was busy talking with Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis, Jet Set was busy indulging himself on ordeurves, and Upper Crust was acting as uppity as usual. All the other ponies were busy chatting amongst themselves. Now was the right time to initiate phase two of her test.
Twilight made her way to the ordeurve table and snatched a few plates of food and then immediately proceeded to duck under the table, hidden by the tablecloth.
“Okay, lets just heat this party up.” Twilight chuckled as she squeezed a tiny droplet of hot sauce onto each piece of food. Having carefully inspected each of the two plates to make sure that the sauce was adequetly concealed, she crawled out from her hiding space and was met face to face with Jet Set, who almost choked after being startled by Twilight.
“Hello, you must be Jet Set.” Twilight greeted.
“Yes, that's right. Of course, who hasn't heard of you? Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
“Care for a small helping of daisy petals?” Twilight held out the dish to Jet Set.
“I'm afraid I'll have to decline. I've been eating for the majority of my stay and I'm afraid that I can't bring myself to having anything else.”
Unfortunately for Jet Set, Twilight's vocabulary doesn't contain the word, “no,” when it comes to science, “Oh, but you simply must try this. It's uhh...” Twilight frantically searched for a selling point, “these daisies were grown in special soil to enhance their taste and ability to whet ones pallette.”
Jet Set shrugged, “Well, I don't see how one more could possibly do me any harm.” The grey unicorn gently placed a solitary petal on his tongue.
Twilight wasn't even able to blink before she could see the effects of the spices. Jet Sets face turned bright red and beads of sweat soon streamed down his head. The test seemed to be going well, but the only problem was that her test subject was in too much pain to speak, let alone curse. However, she's still has yet to see Fancy Pants' reaction, so it's not a complete failure just yet.
Passing by Upper Crust, the princess approached Fancy Pants, who stopped his conversation with Rarity when Jet Set caused a bit of commotion.
“I say, what is going on? Is everything alright?” Fancy Pants asked.
“Oh yes, everything is fine. He must have had a reaction to something, I don't know. But lets not be troubled by things, it's a party after all.”
“Well, if you say things are in order, then I will trust your judgment princess.” Fancy Pants bowed slightly.
“Would you like an ordeurve?”
“Why I would be delighted to, yes. I have grown a bit weary of Canterlot cuisine. This gathering was the perfect opportunity for me to experience the flavors from this part of the world.” Fancy Pants grabbed the remaining plate and elegantly began placing the petals on his tongue. As expected, a reaction was instantaneous, but this time, Twilight got what she wanted.
“Holy god!”
“What is it? Is something wrong?” Twilight feigned ignorance.
“Ffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~! UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT! It burns! Mother fucking shit!” Fancy Pants' agonizing screams were loud, clear, and absent of class in any way.
“Fancy Pants, darling, what's wrong?!” Fleur de Lis panicked.
The once, refined stallion began stomping his hooves and bucking like a madpony. If it weren't for his existing reputation, nobody would be able to guess that he is of the upper class. His tuxedo quickly became out of place and his well-groomed mane became ruffled and wild. Most of the pony patrons had overlooked Jet Set's condition, but Fancy Pants acting strangely was something that could not be ignored and a low murmur arose from the onlookers.
“What's going on?”
“What happened?”
“Fancy Pants is acting completely out of character!”
“Is he going to be okay?”
Everything that Twilight heard from the ponies that gathered to see Fancy Pants act like an unrefined wreck brought a smile to her face. Realizing that she shouldn't stay much longer, she used the commotion as cover to quickly slip away of the party undetected and back into her home. She had done it. She had successfully created a spice so potent, that it would destroy a high class pony's usually calm demeanor.
“This needs a name.” Twilight held the up to her face and examined the red liquid that glowed faintly inside, “I'll call it The Refinement Breaker!”
Author's Note
Just a stupid story that I whipped up in about an hour. This is more or less a writing exercise for me to get back into the habbit of writing.
