The House of Dr. Schmidt

Do you suffer from ailments such as hay fever, arthritis, or tonsillitis or simply are in the need of something as trivial as a limb amputated or a failed organ removed and/or replaced then come to Dr. Schmidt's 24/7 Medical Clinic where I (Dr. Schmidt) and my professional nurse/assistant Sasha will be standing by to aid you in any way shape or form. (Sasha! Not in front of the clients. And clean that filthy thing! I open rib cages with that for goodness sake.) So next time your bleeding to death just remember the name Dr. Schmidt.

Warning: Dr. Schmidt is not recognized by the Equestrian Medical Society as a medical profession or practitioner of medicine any who seek his help for medical purposes may do so at their own risk. (Dr. Schmidt is not responsible for any unfortunate loss of limb, infectious disease, or death)