The Increasingly Boring and Uninteresting Adventures of Maud Pie and Boulder

by Jet Kusanagi

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Diamond Dogs, Comedy, Adventure, Maud Pie
Length: 1848

Maud and Boulder hunt for more rocks, this time at the behest of three familiar gem lovin' dogs.

Sequel to The Incredibly Boring and Uninteresting Adventures of Maud Pie and Boulder

Maud Pie's and Boulder's Adventures continue as they set out for Canterlot, but they are stopped by a certain rowdy bunch of dogs that love to have ponies sniff out gems for them. They take Maud captive(?) and force her to hunt for them, but can they handle the COMPLETELY UNPREDICTABLE Maud Pie?

This story is going to be even more boring and uninteresting than the last one, so be happy that it is currently on HIATUS.

Picture used is by grasspainter. See the original here.

Published 2014-04-11 13:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-11 13:30:02 UTC

The Train...again

I did not perceive that the first part of our rock expedition would go the way that it did. I certainly never would have guessed that a member of the Apple family would have been involved in the disappearance of all the “gold” from all those years ago.

Boulder and I were now on the train on our way to the city of Canterlot. We had decided that that would be the next destination for us, even though we would have to go back through Ponyville to get there. On second thought it would have been better for us to travel there first, considering that Canterlot is far closer to Ponyville than Appleloosa.

But what is done is done.

The reason for our traveling to Canterlot is mainly to study the Crystal Caves below the city. Canterlot itself sits on the edge of a mountain in the center of Equestria, which would be an impossible feat if not for magic. It is not because the size of the city would cause the city to slide off of the mountain, but because of the waterfall that cascades right next to it. The constant barrage of water should have caused the mountain to erode, which would then make the city collapse where it stands. Instead, the water had been diverted long ago to flow at a slightly different angle. Part of the water flows into a river which passes southwest through Ponyville and eventually into the ocean. The rest has flowed below the mountain. That river has carried a lot of sediment below that mountain over the years, which eventually hardened to form the limestone and crystal deposits which have formed the Crystal Caves.

I have never seen them for myself, but Boulder has said that he has. I do not believe him though. He sometimes likes to tell fibs to mess with me.

Anyway, the Crystal Caves are said to be beautiful and breathtaking. We figured that it was about time that I saw them for myself. I would definitely be something worth cataloging.

There were a lot of ponies on the train, most of them hopefuls from Appleloosa's supposed “gold rush”. All of them had kept their distance from me for some reason. I think most of them thought that I had something to do with it. I could tell from the vicious glances that some of them were giving me. It did not matter much to me. After all, I received an impressive jasper necklace from Sheriff Silverstar as a way to remember the experience.

Plus, I was used to ponies looking at me strangely.

There was one pony on the train that I did not recognize from Appleloosa, though. He was a red Earth pony with black hair and white stripes. He was giving me an intense look, as if he were trying to figure out if I was a real pony or not. I looked back him. After about a minute of staring at each other, he smirked and looked away.

Huh.

It was about midday when the train was passing over the Ghastly Gorge. My eyes were feeling a little heavy. I realized that I had not gotten much sleep last night due to everything that had happened. I yawned and closed my eyes to take a quick nap.

A sudden lurch almost threw me forward into the seat in front of me. The train had come to a complete stop. From the chatter I heard around me, it sounded like a lot of other ponies had been awoken from their naps. An announcement came from the conductor: “We apologize for the inconvenience passengers, but there appears to be a large boulder lying on the tracks. We have not suffered any damage, but we will not be able to continue until we can remove it. It should not take very long. Thank you for your patience.”

I was getting up to offer my assistance when I heard a window being smashed in behind me. I heard gruff voices that were somewhat irritating and whiny.

“The gems! The GEMS! We smelled them, we did!”

“Where are they!? Give them to us!”

“Hand them over and we will not harm you...MUCH! HEEHEEHEEHAWHAW!”

I turned around to see three, rough looking dogs walking down the car. They were all wearing black collars studded with diamonds. The only other thing they shared in common with each other in attire were their vests, which had pockets filled with jewels and gemstones. I tried to catch a smell to tell what kinds of stones they had, but their own scent overpowered that of the rocks.

They walked through the train car, examining all of the passengers onboard. Everyone looked frightened and a little disgusted. However, they did not seem to notice me. Yet again, my talent for not being noticed showed itself.

One them, the medium sized one and possibly the leader of the group, spoke up. His grasp on grammar was tenuous at best. “We know this train come from Appleloosa, yes?” he said in a gruff, yet still high-pitched voice. He sniffed a pegasus stallion while he did, who seemed less than enthused to be smelled.

The largest one spoke next. His English sounded a lot better than his leader's, but it was still somewhat difficult to understand because of his rough tone. “There was gold in Appleloosa! Lots and LOTS of gold!”

The smallest one chimed in next. I was not quite sure what to make of him. He jumped up and down as he spoke. “Yes, yes! Gold, gold GOLD!”

The medium sized one cuffed the smallest on the ear to stop him from jumping. “We know you find lots of it! It belong to US now, the Diamond Dogs!”

All of the dogs laughed in victory until someone interrupted them. “There was no gold, ya' damned fools!”

The laughter stopped as quickly as it started. The big one walked over to the source of the outburst, which happened to be an old stallion.

The same one that had sat across from me on the train to Appleloosa.

The large dog picked up the elderly pony by the scruff of the neck and poked him in the chest. “What do you mean 'no gold'!”?

“Don't lie!” said the little dog. “Don't lie! Don't lie! Me want gold, GOLD!”

The medium dog smacked the little one again. “Quiet, Spot! Or you not get any!” He looked at the old man. “Speak, pony!”

The old pony stuttered. “I-I-I it was-s-s all f-f-fake!” he admitted. “P-p-pyrite! F-fool's gold!”

“Fool's gold!?” all three dogs said at once in collective disbelief and disappointment. The big one dropped the old pony of the floor. I heard a small “crack!” when he did.

The medium sized dog got into the large dog's face. The large dog took a step back. The medium dog was definitely the leader. “You had to put rock in front of train, didn't you Fido!?” he yelled in his face.

“I-it was your idea, Rover!” he tried defending himself, but his commanding officer (if he could be called that) would not hear it.

“Maybe, but it was you who did it, yes?” Rover shot back.

The little one, Spot looked completely defeated. “No gold?” he said sadly.

The old pony, still on the floor, pointed towards me. “She's the one who discovered that the gold was fake!”

All of the dogs perked up suddenly and looked towards me. Smiles grew on all of their faces, except for the largest one, Fido. He just looked surprised to see that there was someone sitting in the seat. The medium one approached me, a smile growing on his furry face. “Yes, yes! You have smell of gems on you! Precious, precious gems!”

I took out a piece of feldspar from the pack the bartender had given me. “Want one?” I asked, taking a bite. I was a little hungry.

Rover looked at the other two members of his group, who merely shrugged. Rover turned back to me and growled. He smacked the rock out of my hoof. “No no NO! Feldspar too common, easy to come by,” he said. “We want PRECIOUS precious gems!”

“Like this one!” Fido got a grip on the jade necklace Mayor Silverstar had given me and snatched it from around my neck. His eyes sparkled. “Jade is very rare!” he commented, which was not entirely correct. However, I was not the kind of person that got into arguments. I was not that into winning anything.

“You knew gold was fake before anyone else?” Rover asked me, getting right into my face. I could smell his rancid breath. It smelled like rotten apples and old saliva.

“Yes,” I answered.

“Good!” Rover declared. “Then you hunt for us!”

“Hunt what?” I asked.

Spot looked impatient. He started jumping up and down again. “The gems! THE GEMS!” he yelled. Rover gave him a look that made him sit still.

“Okay,” I answered.

“We will not take no for an-” Rover stopped, clearly not prepared for that answer. “Wait...what you say?”

“Okay,” I repeated. “I will come with you.”

“Ummm...willingly?” Rover asked, scratching his head.

I nodded. Neither Canterlot, nor its Crystal Caves were not going anywhere. It would not hurt to delay our trip a little.

Rover looked at Fido, who looked as confused as he did. “Is there a problem?” I asked.

“Umm...no one ever comes with us on their own,” Fido admitted. “We usually have to drag them into a hole or something.”

“I cannot understand why,” I said. “It sounds exciting.”

The Diamond Dogs were clearly weirded out by having a willing participant, but it did not take long for them to regain their composure. “Good!” Rover said, grabbing me by the leg. I did not resist. “Because you be with us for long time!”

I shook my head. “I need to be back on the train by sunset,” I told him. “Boulder and I have a schedule to keep.”

“Boulder?” Rover repeated. “Who that?”

I took him out of my pocket. “This is my pet rock, Boulder,” I introduced. “Boulder, this is Rover, Fido and Spot. Say hello.”

Spot waved and said, “Hello, Boul-!” but Rover smacked him with his free hand.

“It's a rock!” Rover declared. “You speaking to a rock!?”

“Of course,” I answered. “How else is he supposed to hear me?”

Rover was clearly getting irritated. He growled and pulled me forward towards the broken window at the rear of the car. “Grrr, let's go already! You have gems to find for us, pony!”

Author's Note

I had no intention of publishing this this soon. I'm sorry if it's a bit too soon, but I just couldn't hold it in. A few people commented with some really good ideas on what Maud and Boulder could get into next and I just couldn't let this one slip out of my mine. I have alot of boring stuff planned for her and that little son of an igneous.

Trust me.