Complete the Circuit

by Jeff Nunchucks

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Princess Celestia, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Violence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Death, Princess Luna, Original Character, Mystery, Science Fiction
Length: 16264

Magic permeates every aspect of the known world. Because of this, its residents had no need for anything else. Maybe they'll change their minds when a disgraced scientist completes his twenty year project, assuming nothing dramatic happens.

Over twenty years ago, the greatest scientific project in the world began its development. Sadly, it's creators were struck apart, leaving its care in the only remaining member of the development team. In secret and over the course of many years, this scientist labored, hoping to turn the world on its head.

Assuming, of course, the world isn't already turning on its head.

Published 2014-08-13 01:20:04 UTC
Last updated 2023-09-15 15:03:33 UTC

I - Patent Pending

"This is shaping up to be quite the efficient group, don't you think?" said an earth-pony mare as she observed two dozen ponies going about their work from her warehouse office. "I'd say we're almost ready to begin."

A pegasus stallion grunted. "Maybe. We still need Specs. Nopony else has his level of expertise," he said in a voice deeper than the lowest levels of Tartarus.

"We can get by without him can't we? Surely we can find somepony that can replace him."

The stallion huffed. "After all these years? I doubt it. We could get lucky, but as I said: nopony can do what he can."

"Maybe we're just not looking hard enough."

"Or maybe we're just too afraid to return to Equestria."

The mare stomped her hoof. This had been too long of a wait for her to go out of her way for a single stallion, one who they didn't even need. "We don't need him! Not for what we're doing. Besides, he would never agree to work with us when he figured out our goals."

"Leave that to me. Besides, you've forgotten that he was working on the project when we were broken apart."

The mare rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "It's been a while since I thought of that. I doubt he still has it in his possession, but knowing him, he would have records of everything that went into it."

"Does this mean I have persuaded you?"

"Maybe. I doubt we'll be able to just waltz into Canterlot and drag him out. After all, we all left quite the sour impression on the Princess."

"He's always kept a low profile. I doubt anypony would miss him if he was gone. Besides, I doubt anypony remembers our names, let alone our faces. We should be fine."

The mare sighed. "Alright, I suppose it would be easier if we did this ourselves. I'll leave Pressure Gauge in charge. I trust that you have a plan in mind."

BEEP BEEP BEEP WHACK

...

BEEP BEEP BEEP WHACK BEEBEEBEEBEEBEE

"Oh for the love of... What the hay is wrong with you now?" came a sleep depraved voice from under a bundle of bed sheets. As if in response, the malfunctioning alarm clock continued its obnoxious beeping. The head of an orange unicorn stallion with a long salt-and-pepper mane stuck its head out from under the covers to investigate the problem. Apparently, the clock's snooze button had finally failed from years of the bad habit of hammering the top to silence it.

"Ugh... How do I shut you off?" The stallion looked around his nightstand, still not thinking entirely clearly. Finally he settled for removing the battery... and hurling it across the room. The problem gone, the stallion pulled his head back under the covers, if only momentarily.

"Darn... Now I'm wide awake," he groaned. "Alright, up and at-'em," the stallion lamented as he hauled himself out of bed and onto his hooves. He was far larger than the average pony, easily standing a full head and then some over most. If only he had the physique to match. His years spent in the lab had left him wiry, and the amount of time spent staring at computer screens hadn't done his eyes any favors if his ludicrously thick glasses (from which he had earned several not-so-gratifying nicknames from his compatriots) were anything to judge by.

He wasted no time in heading straight to his lab. Today was a big day: today was the day his latest and greatest project would finally come to fruition. It had begun over twenty years ago with his four friends, all of whom were some of the greatest minds in science, and he had continued the project in their absence. His part was the last, and had only just started when the group had been broken apart, both by themselves and the law, leaving the project in his hooves to complete.

As soon as he entered his lab, which, over the years, had slowly been consuming more and more of his apartment, he donned a traditional white lab coat with his name, Dr. Transistor, and his cutie mark, a vacuum tube, stitched on the front. And, as went his morning ritual, he then started a pot of coffee brewing. As he waited for his coffee, the stallion reread the news articles that he had posted all over the walls of the living-room-turned-lab. His eyes lingered on a newspaper cutout: "Science Group Faces Charges Against the State."

The article was referring the the Scientist Association of Equestria, an organization funded by Princess Celestia herself, accusing Transistor and his friends, his fellow researchers, of squandering resources. In truth, they had not been, at least in Transistor's opinion. It was just that their experiments and research required an extraordinary amount of wealth and expensive material to carry out. However, with charges like these, they had almost no defense. Inevitably, they lost the trial, with severe sentences.

Transistor's friends could not cope with the loss of the trial. Two left the country without a trace. One went insane, and was (and is) institutionalized, but, fortunately, she was almost fully recovered and likely soon to be discharged. The last was sentenced to twenty years in the Canterlot dungeons for attempting to "sabotage" the SAE, a sentence which was quickly approaching its end date. Apparently that was what the law considered stealing a high level organization's registry information and replacing it with pornography. Though he had to admit, it was pretty funny when their lawyers presented their "evidence" in court.

Hm, after all this time, I might finally be able to see them again, Transistor realized. First thing we're doing together is getting a drink.

Transistor had been left disgraced, bankrupt, and out of Princess Celestia's favor. He had staved off poverty by working as a technician for various electronic lab equipment and other privately owned computer systems, of which there were precious few in Equestria. That being said, fixing broken arcade games was a great gig. He had played the "performing an ops check" card multiple times as an excuse to play on them for free.

But this had all happened almost twenty years ago, back when Transistor was still a young stallion having only been accepted to the SAE five years earlier. It had taken him years to recover from the debacle, and even now he was still feeling the effects.

Now, though, Transistor was more concerned with feeling the effects of caffeine, as he grabbed the now full pot of black coffee and proceeded to chug a quarter of it in one go. "Alrighty then, time to get this show on the road," he said with a frightening grin on his face.

Before Transistor sat a desk with three computer monitors arranged in an arc around his favorite spinny chair. A massive computer tower the size of a filing cabinet sat next to the desk. At least three miles of wires and cables were running around the room to all different types of devices strewn haphazardly across the floor, but they all congregated at a large, pony-shaped machine that was lying on a large workbench in the middle of the room.

Needless to say, Transistor's monolithic electric bill was a partial reason for his scrawniness. Having massive bills to pay cuts into one's food budget.

The machine itself was an extraordinary piece of work. It was what he and his friends had been working on when the team was broken up, and he had spent almost twenty years working on the code to make it function as it was intended.

Hmm... that's not entirely true... Transistor mused. If I programmed it to do what it was intended to do it would have taken only a few years, tops. Ah, well. At least it paid off.

If one were to skin a large stallion, then one would have a good idea of what the machine would look like. It had thick artificial muscles, which were a glossy charcoal color and if you looked at it in just the right light you could see a faint rainbow sheen on them. As for the joints, hooves and other solid pieces that could be seen on its surface, they resembled stainless steel armored plates. It's head was an exception to this rule, as it was given the same charcoal color as most of the rest of its body. The machine's vertebrae were designed similarly, looking akin to large dragon scales overlapping each other as they ran from the base of its "skull" to its dock. It had no tail, as it was deemed unnecessary. Even though it was already a large frame, the hooves were significantly larger in proportion to a pony.

The head bore the general shape of a stallion's, though it was constructed as a single, solid component with no jaw. It had what could pass for nostrils, as they served the sole purpose of identifying airborne chemicals, thus allowing it to "smell." Whether or not the mind of the machine would be able to identify a "bad" smell from a "good" smell would be up to itself. Rather than actual ears, there were instead a pair of holes where they should have gone. The machine's eyes were essentially two extremely high quality cameras. They were designed to function much like the eyes of a pony, that is, with both looking at the same point, but seeing slightly different views to provide depth perception.

In short, the machine was a pony android. A very large pony android. Standing up, it was slightly taller than Transistor, and weighed over twice as much.

Transistor pressed a few keys on his computer and began the upload of twenty years worth of programming. He narrowed his eyes in irritation at the loading bar that was creeping across the screen at a snail's pace and the damn spinning beach ball next to the pointer that he had come to hate with a fiery passion.

After several long minutes, the upload finally ended. Transistor took a long gulp from his coffee before moving on to the next step. He opened an interface that was specifically designed bring the android into operation, the most complex task being activation of the android's power plant. It's power plant was a true marvel of science and engineering: a miniature fusion reactor that took several year's worth of sleepless nights perfect. If all went well, it could power the android for centuries. After pressing a few buttons and punching in a few numbers, a loud hum began emanating from the android as its reactor activated. As it settled into its fully operational state, the hum slowly faded away into silence.

Now satisfied that the android was functioning under its own power, Transistor pulled all the wires and cables connecting to the android with the exception of the one that linked to his computer. Everything the android needed to function was in place. The only step that had yet to be accomplished was to press the big green "go" button on the interface.

"Moment of truth..." the stallion muttered as he pressed the button, whispering "please work please work please work" under his breath over and over again.

For a long moment, nothing happened.

"Hardware diagnostic complied with," said a masculine, metallic voice coming from the android. "No faults detected. Software diagnostic complied with. No faults detected. Sensor diagnostic complied with. No faults detected. Reactor diagnostic complied with. No faults detected. Structural diagnostic..." It trailed off as it rose to its full height.

The android slowly rolled its neck through its full range of motion before doing the same with its legs, one at a time. As it was inspecting its front legs, four digits that were constructed the same way as the rest of its body extended from within its large hooves. They naturally pointed straight ahead, though the ones closer to the centerline of the android were offset backwards a few centimeters. These were conceived by the stallion who engineered the android's structure, thinking that it should be able to manipulate small objects, especially since it did not have a mouth to utilize. The android wiggled the digits around a bit before retracting them and moving on to the next. It finished with walking a tight figure-eight.

"... complied with." The android finally finished its sentence. "No faults detected. Operational checkout complete. All systems operating at full functionality."

Throughout this procedure, Transistor was watching with a grin that stretched from ear to ear.

"Good morning, Circuit," he said, doing his best to withhold his excitement. "How are you feeling?"

"Circuit" turned to face him, the lenses of its eyes adjusting their angle to get a good view of Transistor.

"Good," it said, "but this cable in my chest is a little itchy."

Author's Note

So there you have it, folks, the bastard child of a malnourished introvert, about a bastard child of a malnourished introvert. The circle is complete

For those of you that actually had the patience to read this, thanks a bunch. I'm not sure what the rate I crap these chapters out is going to be, but I'll try to keep it reasonable. Feel free to point out any issues you see in the writing. I appreciate constructive criticism.

I hope I'm not jinxing anything, but if my supervisor finds out I'm writing this I will NEVER hear the end of it.

II - A Blip on the Radar

A week had passed since Transistor had activated Circuit for the first time. In that time he had truly seen what all those years of work had paid off in. Circuit's "mind" was as complex and developed as any other pony's, maybe even more so than the average. While Transistor had created autonomous systems before, this was on a completely new plane of existence. It was in this time that he had grown to see Circuit not as a project, but as his own foal.

It was capable of learning the way an ordinary pony could. Better, even, as it was able to process information more thoroughly and much faster. It was able to learn from its own mistakes, as well as those made by Transistor himself. While there was much information Transistor had programmed into Circuit, such as history, a general knowledge and understanding of the neighboring races, the Princesses, the whole concept of magic (it still took issue with that subject, for whatever reason), politics, economics, and other trivial academics that were necessary for living in Equestria. The subjects he refused to encode were more abstract topics like social skills, ethics and philosophy. Transistor was a firm believer that those were best developed on one's own.

And as it turned out, Transistor's ideology was well placed. Based on the information it had been encoded with and the knowledge imparted by Transistor, Circuit had developed a simple but solid ethical code, one centered mainly around maintaining integrity. Transistor found that little bit interesting. While he had not explicitly programmed the ability to lie or, for that matter, the ethical dilemma of doing so, Circuit was, in fact, capable of lying. What truly made it fascinating was that Circuit knew it was wrong... in most circumstances. Transistor still got a laugh out of Circuit's curt "I did not do it" when it made a mistake right in front of him.

What made Transistor most proud was that Circuit had actually exhibited emotion, empathy and even a sense of humor, though the monotone it spoke with killed most of its jokes which consisted mostly of wisecracks or sarcastic responses. After returning home from a particularly rough day of work, Circuit had gone so far as to cook dinner for him having only been told how Transistor's day went. It was little more than a can of soda and a cup of noodles, but Transistor recognized the sentiment.

Even the words Circuit used were indicative of what its mind was capable of. It frequently spoke about how it felt, what it thought, what concerns it had. No ordinary computer was capable of that. Transistor truly had succeeded in achieving what he had intended for Circuit after all this time.

It had a soul.

"Circuit!" Transistor called out. "I'm goin' to the market. Hold the fort down 'til I get back, got it?"

Circuit poked its head through the kitchen door, what it was doing in there Transistor couldn't guess. It responded with a neutral "Understood."

Transistor double-checked his saddlebags for his bit-bag and keys as he locked the apartment door behind him. He had already pulled the key out when he realized he had forgotten his shopping list.

He raised his hoof to knock on the door when the little slip of paper slid under the door. Transistor chuckled to himself and levitated it into his bags before continuing on his way.

Upon exiting the apartment complex, Transistor found himself caught in the middle of lunchtime on one of the busiest streets in Canterlot. The street was chock full of ponies going about their business, but if there was one thing Transistor had learned after living on this street for half his life, was how to move through a crowd.

Transistor weaved his way through the crowds in the street, knowing it was only going to be worse when he arrived at the marketplace. After about ten minutes of dodging, weaving and slipping his way through the mass of bodies, he finally arrived at the marketplace, a large plaza filled with booths and stalls selling all kinds of food, clothing and other merchandise. Merchants from all over Equestria had come to this place to sell their goods. Transistor could see more than a few Minotaur and Griffin shopkeepers, and even a refined looking Diamond Dog selling pieces of jewelry.

Never one for waiting, Transistor went right to his shopping list. Though it was short, it still took much more time than it should have as a result of the massive crowds. An hour later, he had finished all but the last item.

This was a replacement tool kit. The one Transistor used in his day-to-day work had too many missing spaces and broken pieces. He tapped his hoof impatiently as he waited for the Minotaur merchant to gather everything Transistor had requested. The instant the completed toolbox touched the counter, Transistor passed over the bits to pay for them.

"'Fore ye go, I noticed ye got a couple a' shadows followin' ye," the merchant said as Transistor made to leave.

Transistor paused and turned back to face him, confused. "Excuse me?"

"Ah said ye've got some ponies followin' ye. Don't s'pose ye know 'em?" The merchant made a vague gesture somewhere behind Transistor.

Transistor turned his head to look, careful to make it look as though he was looking at something else. True to the Minotaur's word, he caught a quick glimpse of two ponies that appeared to be watching him, one an earth-pony mare, the other a pegasus stallion. Both were obscured in black cloaks, but Transistor could still see their faces. The blood drained from his as he recognized them.

"Yeah," he said, taking a nervous gulp. "I know them."

The Minotaur snorted. "Well arright then. Had me goin' there. Now ye have a good day now, ye hear?"

"I'll try," Transistor said as he turned to leave. The ponies that had been following him had disappeared. They most likely knew that he was now aware of their presence.

Walking at a brisk pace, Transistor was now frequently looking over his shoulder so much that he didn't know what was in front of him the majority of the time. He had bumped into more than a few ponies while he was looking back. He hadn't actually seen the ponies that were shadowing him since the marketplace, but the knowledge that they were there had his hackles raised.

Transistor hadn't been lying when he said he knew them, but it was the way they were looking at him that sent chills up his spine. The stallion had the same indifferent expression he'd always had, but Transistor was well aware that his body language was never a good way to determine the stallion's thoughts. The mare, on the other hoof, was the one that bothered him. She was eyeing him with what Transistor could only describe as an evil grin. While he had always known her to be volatile, something in her eyes suggested that she had something more sinister in her mind.

Normally, Transistor wouldn't have been bothered by this as much, if not for one thing: these were his two friends that had disappeared after the trial two decades ago. For them to have come back after all this time, and were, as far as he was concerned, trying to track him down bothered him. There was no way they could have known about his activating Circuit. Transistor didn't know what it was, but they wanted him for something.

When Transistor finally came to his senses, he realized he was standing in front of his apartment door. He checked his watch: only six minutes had passed since he left the marketplace.

Wow, he thought despite himself. That's the fastest I've ever made that walk.

Transistor unlocked his apartment door, his telekinetic grasp on the key jittery from the adrenaline still running through his body.

"Circuit, you the-- Oh there you are. Nevermind."

Circuit was lying on the floor reading a book. Transistor had never seen anypony read at the speed Circuit did. It would look at one page for less than a second before flipping to the next. It wouldn't have surprised Transistor if it could read an entire encyclopedia in less than a day.

"How was your trip to the market?" it asked.

Transistor froze. He wasn't sure if it would be a good idea to tell Circuit about the ponies following him. "Productive. I was able to get a new tool kit to replace that old one."

Circuit locked eyes with Transistor for a long moment. "I do not know how long a trip to the market usually takes, but I feel that it took you much less time than would be normal."

"I shop like puritans rut: in and out in less than three minutes and only for the procreation of foals," Transistor said with a laugh.

"Interesting. I did not notice a bullet on your shopping list saying to visit a brothel."

"No, Circuit, I will not take you to a brothel," he said in mock chastisement. "The security guards would throw you out for thinking you would hurt the mares." Transistor loved these exchanges between him and Circuit. It showed him that it was more than just a machine, that there was actually an intelligence in there.

"As would their management. There is not exactly any way they could make money off me."

They continued in this manner while they unpacked Transistor's saddlebags. Eventually they reached a pause in their exchange. Transistor's mind was still on the ponies following him.

Circuit seemed to notice that something was on Transistor's mind. "Is something bothering you?"

"I-- look, I ran into a few old... acquaintances of mine that I haven't seen in a while," Transistor began. "They might be coming to... visit later today."

Circuit stared at him in silence, processing what it had heard. "Should I be concerned?"

"Honestly? I don't know. I doubt they came just to talk. There's no way they could know about my having activated you, so I doubt it's that... I just don't know. But whatever happens, be on your guard."

Transistor had spent the rest of the day making copies of everything he had in his computer and transferring them into Circuit, tucking them away in a little folder completely separate from the rest of it's data, after which he had swiped a magnet over his computer. If he needed the data, he could just get it back from Circuit. This hadn't actually taken that long. It would be more accurate to say he had spent about an hour transferring all the information and the next seven worrying his flank off and trying to come up with a plan.

"Doctor, what exactly would these ponies do if they saw me?" Circuit said suddenly.

This question derailed Transistor's train of thought. "Well... I'm sure they would be thrilled to see you up and about after all this time. After all, they did used to be part of the team I was with that built you. But... That being said, I still don't know what they want, but I have a feeling it isn't going to be anything pleasant.

"So how about this: If they come, go to my room and close the door, but leave it open just a crack so you'll be able to see and hear. If they do anything out of line, don't hesitate to bust out of there and give 'em a good bucking. Otherwise, don't do anything unless I tell you to. Got it?"

"Understood."

As if on cue, three knocks came from the door. Transistor and Circuit froze, standing as still and silent as statues. Transistor then started vigorously gesturing for Circuit to go in the room. It nodded and tip-hoofed to the room and closed the door, just as they'd planned. Transistor looked through the door's peephole, and released the breath he had been holding when he saw that it was a pair of particularly antsy Lunar guards, one a mare, the other a stallion.

"Good evening, officers, can I help you?" Transistor said as he opened the door.

"Sir, have you by any chance noticed any ponies exhibiting suspicious behavior out your window in the past forty-five minutes?" the mare said rather hotly.

"I... No. I'm sorry, I've been a bit preoccupied today," Transistor stammered at the aggressive approach from the guard.

The mare responded my grinding her teeth and groaning. "If you do, make sure to report to a guard ASAP. We'll be on our way now."

The guards left as suddenly as they came, moving at a fast clip back to the stairwell. Transistor just stood there, trying to process what had just happened.

"What was that all about?" Circuit suddenly asked from behind Transistor, causing him to jump in surprise with a yelp.

"SWEET CELESTIA, don't sneak up on me like that! I need to put a bell on you or something. How the hay can something your size be so stealthy?" Transistor shouted before slamming the door shut.

Circuit simply shrugged its shoulders in response. "That is just the way I have interpreted my programming. But again, what was that all about?"

"The Lunar guard must be out looking for somepony. Probably just a thief."

The large android stared at Transistor for a long while. "It seems odd to me that you would take this information in stride. Based upon my encoded information, most ponies would exhibit significantly more concern than that."

Transistor sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Let's just say that I have more reason than most to be cynical and leave it at that, m'kay?"

Circuit cocked its head. "Very well. Is this a sensitive subject?"

"Yes... It is."

"Understood."

They stood there in silence for several minutes. Transistor was interrupted from his brooding when Circuit seemed to straighten slightly and look at the door. Concerned, Transistor pressed the side of his face against the door so that he had one ear up against it and he could still see through the peephole. His eyes widened as he saw the two ponies that had been following him earlier in the day, still wearing their black cloaks. Transistor made the same gesture for Circuit to go in the room as before, but threw in a slashing motion across his throat. As long as his point was made, he didn't care. When Circuit was safely hidden, Transistor went back to the peephole.

"I told you, let me talk to him first," the stallion said to the irate mare. "My methods are more effective."

"Ugh, fine," the mare snapped.

Transistor pulled his head away from the door as the stallion knocked.

Okay, think Transistor. You've got Circuit in the next room and it's definitely paying attention. Even if they try something, it can handle these two no problem. What's the harm in humoring them at least?

Transistor opened the door and pretended to act surprised. "Well if it isn't my dear old friends, Airfoil and Hydronia! Come in, come in!" The two ponies entered without saying a word, both removing and discarding their cloaks just inside the door.

Airfoil, the stallion, was a short pegasus with a surprisingly athletic build. He had a navy blue coat and with a slightly lighter shade of blue for his mane and tail. A cutie mark of a paper airplane was stamped on his flank. His long-ish mane was greased back, giving him a slick look. Transistor had always known that to be representative of his personality as well. He always chose his words carefully, never using more than he needed to, and always managed to say just the right things to appeal to somepony. His eyes were a cold bluish gray, giving him an almost sinister look.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Hydronia, the earth-pony mare, was volatile, flamboyant, and direct. Unlike her manipulative counterpart, she had no mind for subtlety or anything else that required self-restraint. She was practically the embodiment of the phrase "Results at all costs." Her coat was a bright red and had a yellow and orange mane and tail. Their spiky arrangement gave them the appearance of flames. Her cutie mark was that of a beaker containing a bubbling bright green liquid, the same color as her eyes. She was wearing a pair of brown, bulging saddlebags and a pair of large, gold hoop earrings. To say she stuck out like a sore hoof would be an understatement. Practically every time she walked outside, everypony's heads turned in her direction, and more than a few ponies walked into each other.

"You always were a terrible liar, Specs," Airfoil said in his trademark absurdly deep voice. "You knew we were coming. Drop the act."

"Alright fine. Whaddaya want with me?"

Airfoil helped himself to Transistor's desk chair. He always was a bit self-absorbed. "While we've been gone, we've been working to make our dream a reality. The same one we had when we first got together. We've been gaining support, but we've been running into roadblocks, ones I believe you can help us get through."

"So you need my skills. Why don't you just say so instead of beating around the bush?"

"Because, my friend, this is as much your fight as it is mine. As much as I know you don't like to admit it, you were the driving force behind this. You were the one that showed us what could be. By joining us, you could show everypony what will be."

Transistor was becoming irritated with all this cryptic talk. "Not to sound cliche, but stop talking in riddles! Half the time you sound like a prophet, the other you sound like a lunatic! What. Do. You. Want. With. Me?" he demanded.

"You never did have any patience, did you? Very well. There will be a paradigm shift soon. The result may forever change the world. With your help, we can go so far as to bring about the next evolution of ponykind."

Sweet Celestia, he's actually serious about this, Transistor realized on shock. We always joked about a revolution, but I didn't actually think he took it literally!

"You're talking about a coup, aren't you?"

"My good stallion, did you really think I would consider overthrowing the Princesses? Such a thing would be suicide! We might as well try to stop the tides, which Luna already can. You think we can stand against that? No. Our goal is to win over the hearts and minds of everypony else. Even the Princesses must obey the majority. You understand this, don't you?"

Transistor remained unconvinced. Intrigued, but unconvinced. "You'll pardon my skepticism. I don't know what the hay you have going on in your head, but I know--"

"WE HAVE EYES ON THE TARGET! AFTER HIM!" yelled an unseen guard from out the window. All three ponies instinctively stopped and looked out the window.

"Looks like my agent is tired of waiting," Hydronia said with a smirk. "This is taking a lot longer than I'd like and he's not buyin' it."

While they were still distracted, she pulled an autoinjector out of her saddlebags and jammed it into Transistor's flank.

"WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU-- you..." Transistor's voice trailed off as his cognition began to fade and his vision narrowed.

Damn. She must have used some kind of sedative... Within seconds, Transistor lost all conscious grip on his body, which was now effectively a puppet that would do as it was told. The last thing he saw was Circuit bucking the door off its hinges/

Circuit had seen enough. It chastised itself and swore to amend its programming for failing to realize the implications of the "Hydronia" pony's statement. There was not enough time for it to act before she injected whatever chemical was in the autoinjector into Transistor. But, by then, Circuit was already preparing to buck the door.

As its rear hooves impacted the door, it was knocked off its hinges and flew into the opposite wall with a tremendous crash as though it weighed little more than an apple. Circuit took a few steps out of the room, bringing itself into full view of the antagonizing ponies.

"Release the doctor and leave," it said in its usual monotone. "I will engage if you do not comply. Your odds of surviving are one in twenty-six. Your odds of sustaining severe bodily injury are one in ninety-three. Your odds of victory are one in seven thousand, two hundred eighty-one."

The two antagonizing ponies stared at Circuit with wide eyes, mouths agape.

"Well I'll be. Looks like Specs was able to get this guy workin'." Hydronia said.

Airfoil took a step forward. "Program, execute admin system override. Code: AF147429A."

Circuit heard the code and was briefly concerned, but it activated no runtimes within its programming, setting its mind at ease. "That is not going to work on me." It lowered its head and stance, preparing to charge. "If you do not comply with my orders, I will engage."

"Sweet Mother Mercy, just how much time did he spend scripting this thing?" Airfoil said as his composure briefly broke out of shock.

Hydronia pulled another autoinjector out of her saddlebags and held it in preparation to inject Transistor's now drooling body. "Alright, now listen up, tin can, you make any moves toward us, and I stick this little guy in his flank. This here's concentrated Frostbite venom. This goes in, you got no hope of saving him, capisce?"

Circuit ran through scenarios in its head at a speed that would be beyond the comprehension of any organic. Every one it tried from this point resulted in Transistor's death, without exception.

"Recalculating... Odds of hostile victory... One in one. I will not engage."

Hydronia beamed. "You see? And you said my methods didn't work. Now hurry up and let's get out of here." She switched her gaze back to Circuit. "And you! Not. One. Step."

The ponies slowly exited the apartment, Transistor in tow and their cloaks forgotten at the door. True to its word, Circuit stayed put. While they were in the hallway, it heard Hydronia say, "We'll take the fire escape. I had our getaway carriage set up in the alley."

"My, my, a bit of competence from our dear Hydronia?" came Airfoil's sarcastic comment. "The last I checked, flying pigs have yet to evolve."

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, featherbrain. Besides, at least my plan worked."

"Touche."

As soon as it was certain they would not be able to hear it, Circuit followed as quietly as it could. It cautiously poked its head around the doorway, only to see the door to the fire escape close on the opposite side of the hallway. The sound of frantic hoofsteps reached Circuit's aural sensors as the ponies went down the outdoor stairs. It bolted to the window, only to see a carriage being pulled by four pegasi wearing the same black cloaks that Airfoil and Hydronia were wearing.

Circuit took a reading on the carriage's bearing as it flew away. Bearing marked at 315. Designating predicted flight path on map for reference.

Circuit's emotional processors were in a flux. They were switching between many different emotions, though the one they seemed to keep coming back to was none other than anger. This was a new feeling for Circuit. It had no idea how to respond to this new emotion. But something told it that the only goal it should be concerned with was getting Transistor back. There was another little program that was telling Circuit something else: revenge.

The android turned back to the apartment and put on one of the cloaks that had been left behind, being sure to cover its head so that nopony would be unduly concerned at its appearance. It promptly bolted out the fire escape, down the stairs, and into the alleyway.

Thus did Circuit take its first steps out of the safety of the apartment in which it had been born, and into the world.

Author's Note

And so the adventure begins. Sort of. Still got a few ponies to meet, piss off, and otherwise turn their lives upside-down.

Hydronia turned out to be a lot more badass than I expected. Hm. You know, I actually kinda like how she turned out.

III - Insufficient Data

Circuit had never been outside before. It looked around in wonder as it slowly walked down the alleyway to the street, careful not to kick any cans or make much noise. It stopped and turned its head when a rat squeaked and scurried away. Circuit wanted to chase it down, to see what it looked like up close, but it knew that it had a job to do, and that it should allow no distractions to stand in its way.

Upon exiting the alleyway, Circuit stopped and observed its surroundings. It appeared to be in a residential area, with a series of identical apartment buildings running down the street to its left on either side of the street. The series extended only one building to Circuit's right, after which there was an intersection between the street it was currently on, and another that ran perpendicular to it. Street lamps that were little more than a light-bulb on a pole were placed at regular intervals on either side of the streets, casting a soft yellow light on the streets.

Why use street lamps when there are no ponies on the street? Circuit wondered. They are wasting energy.

Its question was seemingly answered when a lone pony, a stallion, judging by its body structure, came charging around the far corner to run down Circuit's street. The stallion was wearing another black cloak that obscured its body and face, just like the other two ponies that took Transistor and identical to the one it was currently wearing. Circuit saw that he had a large, lumpy brown bag held in one hoof.

The stallion noticed Circuit almost immediately and skid to a halt directly in front of it. They stared at each other for a few seconds, sizing each other up. They were interrupted by the sound of two dozen shod hooves rapidly striking the pavement in the direction the stallion had come from.

The stallion made an irritated grunt and said, "Screw this! It's your gig now!" He passed his bag to Circuit, who caught it reflexively in its left hoof, its digits with a firm grip on the cord that held it shut. "Later, sucker!" the stallion cackled as he ran past Circuit into the alley behind it.

Circuit watched the stallion go. To most organics, the darkness of the alley would have caused the stallion to completely vanish. The same was not true for Circuit, as it could see exactly what was happening even in the low light. This rule did apparently apply to the stallion, who, unwittingly, tripped on a tin can and fell face first into a trash can with his hindquarters sticking straight up in the air. The stallion did not move, leading Circuit to conclude that he had been knocked unconscious.

Circuit turned back to face the intersection as the thundering hooves became louder. A second later, seven Lunar guards came sprinting around the corner.

"There he is!" one of them shouted. "Surround him, don't let him get away!"

Six of the guards quickly formed a circle around Circuit, their bodies in a low ready stance should their quarry make any moves. Circuit could have easily outdone all of them, as it stood head and shoulders over every one.

The guard that had made the initial command--the commander, as Circuit deduced--approached it with a glare that would have intimidated any organic into submission. Circuit, however, remained completely unfazed by it.

"Thief, drop the bits and come quietly," the commander ordered. "You don't want to make this any more difficult than it needs to be."

So this was what those guards were after. They clearly must think that I am the thief. How? Do they not realize that I am aver twice the size of the thief?

Circuit gauged the weight of the bag in its hoof. With what would pass for surprise in an android, it determined that there was approximately a quarter of a million bits within. It then gently tossed the bag to the commander, who caught it in his telekinesis.

"Smart move. Shackle him," he barked.

The two guards directly to Circuit's sides slowly approached and began locking a set of thick chains and shackles around its ankles.

"You have the wrong individual. The thief you are seeking ran past me before you arrived. He is currently lying unconscious in a waste disposal container in the alley behind me."

"Right," said the mare shackling his right side, apparently having difficulty in the low light. "You just want us to go back there so your buddies can jump us." Under her breath, Circuit heard her mutter, "I'm not falling for that one again..." The guard behind Circuit's right flank snickered at that.

"I am not lying. He truly is back there."

"Save it for the Princess," the commander grunted in annoyance. "She's the one you need to beg mercy from."

Circuit found in odd that it was to be brought before the Princess herself. No court case? "Is the correct phrase not 'tell it to the judge'?"

"It would be, if you had stolen from a privately owned source." The commander narrowed his eyes for emphasis. "But stealing from the royal treasury gets you a trip to the Princess." He turned to the mare shackling Circuit's right side. "Rookie! How long does it take to shackle a prisoner!? Private Watch was done five minutes ago!" he roared.

Five minutes? He finished twelve seconds ago.

"I- I'm sorry sir!" she stammered. "It's really dark and this guy's got really big-"

"I don't want excuses! I want him ready to move!"

"Th- There! Done, sir! Ready to go!" the "rookie" straightened up, visibly shaken.

The commander shook his head, more so to himself. "Right, let's get a move on."

The guards behind Circuit's flanks prodded it with their horns for it to move. The group walked at a brisk pace, but to Circuit it seemed like a leisurely stroll. It glanced down at the rookie. Her head was drooping and she had a fearful look in her eyes. Circuit almost felt like giving her a hug, but the shackles and guards around it would have prevented it.

As they progressed through the empty streets, ponies began opening their windows to see what the guards had accomplished. As it was late in the evening, most ponies were asleep, but there were still a few night owls that were up to see the goings-on. A few shouted some compliments to the guards; most stayed silent.

When they approached the palace, Circuit could not help but look at it in awe. The sheer grandeur of the place was completely unlike anything Circuit had ever seen. Intricate designs were gouged into the solid marble structure that towered over every other building in Canterlot. Golden statues stood guarding the entrance. Art was one of the few things Circuit had next to no knowledge on. It's processors were analyzing every bit of the palace and storing the data. The word they kept coming around to was "beautiful."

The two guards outside the entrance to the palace pushed the massive doors open for the procession. Inside, Circuit was assaulted with yet another barrage of visual inputs. The ceiling was easily twenty meters high, with massive stained glass windows.

A scarlet carpet ran from the palace doors all the way down the interior and traveling up a few steps at the end where it terminated at a large, crimson throne that was currently occupied by a very, very irate pony. Transistor had implanted few images within Circuit's data banks, opting instead to describe the Princesses in detail. Judging by the pony's obvious wings and horn, in addition to her dark blue coat and physics-defying mane, Circuit was forced to assume that this was Luna.

Circuit's guards brought it all the way up to the base of the steps before pushing it forward and lining up side by side behind it. With all eyes on it, Circuit gave a low bow, as Transistor had taught him when teaching customs and courtesies. The only response Luna gave was a raised eyebrow. The commander remained next to Circuit as he addressed Luna.

"Your Highness, we have finally caught the thief," he said with a deep bow. "Shall we bring him to the dungeons until you decide how to properly sentence him?"

Luna squinted her eyes, trying to get a glimpse of Circuit's face.

"Not quite yet," she said. She stood up and walked down the steps to Circuit and the commander, who were still in a bowed position. "Rise. Both of you."

As it stood up, Circuit discovered that Luna was slightly shorter than it was. Luna's eyes widened as she took in the android's massive frame.

"Now, thief, I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you were put up to this. If that is the case, then the question is who did?"

Circuit glanced at the commander, who, with a stern death glare, mouthed "Speak!"

"Your Highness, as I have told the guards earlier, I am not the thief."

"Do you take me for a fool?" the Night Princess demanded.

"No. I am not sure what to say to convince you that I speak the truth."

Luna narrowed her eyes and straightened up slightly. "Remove your cloak."

This gave Circuit some pause. It was not sure what the consequences of revealing itself to such a powerful figure would be. Circuit spent several seconds attempting to calculate the most probably outcome. It finally decided to terminate the process, as it kept rolling around to the phrase "Either something bad or something good will happen," which, obviously, is not particularly helpful. Circuit finally decided to comply with Luna's orders, against its better judgement.

With it's right hoof digits, Circuit grabbed a crease in the cloak on its left shoulder and pulled across its chest, its shackles jingling as they moved. The cloak came off quickly and cleanly, completely exposing Circuit to the eyes of every pony in the room.

Luna's jaw hung loosely from its hinge as she stared with wide eyes at Circuit. "Wha... What are you? Who are you? Where did you come from?" she asked, almost at a lost for words.

"I am an android: a machine built in the form of a pony," Circuit said, answering each of her questions in order. "My name is Circuit. I came from an apartment near where your guards arrested me."

The Princess' jaw worked for several seconds as she turned this new information over in her head. Eventually she shook it as though a mosquito were flying around her. She quickly regained her composure and all but shouted to the commander, "Did none of you realize that he was a machine!?"

Circuit could see the commander's knees shaking slightly. "N- No, your Highness, as soon as we caught him we had him shackled and brought to you. We didn't think-"

"You did not notice anything strange about him? Anything at all?"

Circuit was actually a surprised when the rookie responded to the Princess' question. "You know, I did think it was a little weird when he said 'waste disposal container' instead of just 'trash can.' That and he kinda talks like a robot, too..." The mare was rubbing the back of her neck with her hoof and looking nervously at the ground. Then with a jump and short bow she appended, "Your Highness."

Luna looked at the rookie for a long moment. "What is this about a trash can?"

The commander answered this time. "W- Well, he said that the real thief had gone past him into an alley and... fallen... in... a trash can." The commander's face suddenly flushed red as he realized what he was saying. He cleared his throat and straightened up. "Your highness. Permission to be dismissed? We have a criminal to apprehend."

"Granted," Luna said. The guards all gave a snappy salute and about-faced to leave the palace. As they were leaving, Luna called out, "Oh, and Captain Iron Spear?"

"Yes, your Highness?"

"Please make sure to bring the correct criminal to the dungeons. I will determine what to do with the correct prisoner later."

"Y- Yes, your Highness."

Luna waited for all of the guards to leave before turning back to Circuit. She circled it several times, taking in every detail of the android's body.

"Your Highness, I have an inquiry," Circuit said as she was circling it.

"Ask."

"Why did the guards suddenly believe me? If I were them I would not leave me unattended."

Luna finished circling and stood directly in front of Circuit. "They did not expect a mere machine to lie to them."

"A 'mere machine' does not lie unless it is programmed to."

"Were you?"

I should have anticipated this question, Circuit thought as its logic processors were stuck in a paradoxical loop. After an almost painfully long silence, Circuit replied, "No."

"So therefore you were not lying, is that not correct?"

"No. Yes... Mu. I am not a 'mere machine.' My creator programmed me to be sapient. Most of my traits are a subsequent result of that. Among them, my ability to lie."

"So... you were lying!"

"No."

"But did you not just say-"

"I said I have the capacity to lie as a result of my sapience, not that I was lying."

Luna's eye twitched. On a twisted level of Circuit's mind, it was starting to enjoy this mental torment. "You are quite difficult to understand." She took a deep breath before slowly asking, "Were you, or were you not, lying about the thief in the alley?"

"I was not."

"Then why are you being so difficult!?"

"Because I find it illogical to take my statement as truth when I have told so little, in addition to not being believed at first."

There was a pause as Luna appeared to contemplate Circuit's thought processes. "You are asking why they trust you?"

"Correct," was the simple reply.

Luna smiled and said, "Three reasons: One, you are still shackled. Two, they understand that I am more than capable of protecting myself. And three, I am not completely unattended by my guards." As she said this last one, Luna gestured to a pair of guardsponies in front of the steps leading up to the throne that were standing as still statues.

So still, in fact, that Circuit had actually thought they were statues.

"Those are ponies?" it said in what would pass for disbelief in an android. "No organic is capable of remaining in a static position for that long. Their ears do not move towards sound. Their chests do not expand as they breath. They can not possibly be alive."

"You'd be surprised. My guards are very well disciplined," Luna said with a smug smile.

Circuit was fascinated. Apparently it had much to learn in regards to the functioning of organics.

"Indeed," it stated neutrally. "I digress, you may wish to reanalyze the judgments for leaving me. Reason one is to be deleted, in specificity."

As it said this, Circuit grabbed the the cuff of the shackle on its left foreleg and yanked. The cuff broke as though it were made of paper rather than steel. It repeated this process until each of its legs were free, then picked up the entire assembly and dropped it between itself and Luna. She stood staring at the pile of chains and broken rings with wide eyes and contracted pupils. Even the guards had broken their bearing and were staring at the chains.

"Maid!" Luna called out without taking her eyes off the broken shackles. On cue, a tan earth pony mare with her brown mane tied up in a bun emerged from a door behind the throne to stand by Luna's side. "Wake my sister, and bring her down here please."

Circuit saw the maid look at Luna with an expression of abject horror. Her coat had turned several shades lighter and her knees were knocking together. She eventually piped up and said, "Your Highness? Princess Celestia would... would..."

"She would kill me for having her woken up at such an hour. Now go!"

"Right away, your Highness!" she said, and dashed back through the door with no small amount of fear in her eyes.

Circuit observed the maid's behavior with silent mirth. "It seems your hoof-servants make up the deficit for your guards."

"If you knew what happens when you wake my sister in the middle of her sleep, I'd think you would be quite afraid yourself." Luna sighed and looked back up at Circuit with a steely look in her eyes. "Now I must ask an obvious question: Do you have any intent to harm my little ponies?"

"Physically, no. However, I cannot make any guarantees about their mental health."

Luna's eyes narrowed and her lips pulled back in a feral snarl. Her horn began to glow a rich blue and Circuit felt its weight lifted off its hooves as it was levitated into the air. Circuit began to grow concerned as it felt tension forces growing in its abdomen.

"By that I of course mean no. No I do not." Circuit would have let out a sigh of relief if it could breathe when it saw Luna's gaze soften and she lowered it back to the ground, and releasing the grip that threatened to tear it in half.

"I think your sense of humor needs some work. Your creator didn't spend much time with that part, did he?"

"He did not at all. It is a subsequent result of my sapience. Its development is wholly dependent on how I choose to shape it."

A devilish grin spread across Luna's face as she heard this. "You know, I know the perfect pony for you to talk to, in that case."

I do not like the sound of that. It is called self-determination for a reason.

Before either of them could say anything, the door in back of the throne room opened with so much force that Circuit was surprised its sensors did not receive any traces of gamma radiation as a result of the atoms in the door and in the air fusing upon impact. It did, however, detect a vacuum in the door's wake, so it was at least partially satisfied. Unfortunately, this brief moment of glee was crushed the instant it saw the furious white alicorn striding out of it at a quick pace.

Judging by the alicorn's slender but tall frame, being as tall as Circuit, white coat and multi-hued mane and tail, Circuit decided this one was Princess Celestia: The pony responsible for fracturing its development group and, consequently, the reason for Transistor's foal-napping. Circuit was conflicted on her. On one hoof, her actions had set this all in motion. On the flip side, Circuit's creators had technically been engaging in illegal activities, so her actions were completely justified. This was the first time Circuit's emotions and logic had come in conflict with each other. Without any precedent, it could not decide how to shape its mental image of her.

As Celestia approached Circuit and Luna, the android took note of her slightly bedraggled mane, bloodshot eyes and grinding teeth. Circuit was only going out on a limb, but it felt that it was safe to assume that Celestia was "minorly" upset at being woken up at this hour.

Celestia took a pause from grinding her teeth to address Luna. "Sister, what have I told you about waking me up this much before morning?"

It was more so a statement than a question, but Luna answered anyway with a smirk and roll of her eyes. "What, that you need your beauty sleep?"

"Luna..."

Looking at its time and temperature function, Circuit decided to join in. "For the record, it is morning," it said. "Technically."

Celestia turned to face Circuit. All traces of sleep deprevation and her desire to visit destruction upon Luna with a giant hammer evaporated when she looked into its mechanical eyes.

"Luna?" she asked without breaking eye contact. "What is this?"

Luna glanced at Circuit expectantly, evidently allowing it to introduce itself.

"I am an android named Circuit. I was created by Doctors Transistor, Hydronia, Airfoil, Quantum Leap, and Mr Jackscrew. All of which were part of a development group you broke apart approximately twenty years ago. I was the project they refused to inform you of."

Celestia's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as she heard this. "Both of you come with me. I think we have some things to discuss."

Author's Note

Celestia needs a pot of espresso and a bottle of Everclear. Because she is not nearly awake or drunk enough to deal with this shit right now. God knows I wouldn't be.

You have no idea how many times I did this:
Input: "he"
Dammit
[backspace][backspace]
Input: "it"

Circuit's character is turning out to be one of the most interesting I've ever written. On one hand all things organic are completely alien to it, but it was also programmed to think like one in addition to being able to think like a computer. As a result, it doesn't really know what to do when they have different outcomes. Classic case of emotion vs logic.

IV - Recalculation

"So let me get this straight," Luna said. "The ponies who created Circuit were illegally using funds from the SAE to construct him, and refused to reveal him to any authorities. Their sentence was revoking their licenses, memberships, and a bail of a quarter million each. One is currently held in the dungeons, a second in the mental health hospital, and two more that have gone rogue and have foal-napped the last one who's spent the past two decades finishing the project a.k.a. Circuit. More than that, these two rogues are planning some kind of revolution, but we don't know what exactly. Is that right?"

Celestia sighed and took a sip from a mug of coffee. The three of them--Luna, Celestia and Circuit--had been spent the past hour in a conference room behind the throne room attempting to bring each other (primarily Luna) up to speed with current events. Circuit was the only one who could give an accurate account of everything that had transpired; it was a story that Transistor had encoded as deeply into its data as could be done. Celestia's knowledge was limited only to what had transpired during the trial all that time ago, but knew more of the background details.

"In short, yes. That is an excellent summary," Circuit said, hardly having moved from the position it had first sat in.

"And why did we never learn of Circuit until just now?"

"Because neither I nor the detectives could find any leads that took us anywhere meaningful," Celestia said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "The closest we ever got was the office their mail was delivered to."

"I have little data detailing my construction process," Circuit began. "However, it is most logical that many of my parts were constructed separately in different locations, so as to avoid detection from local authorities. Beyond that the accuracy of speculation drops to below seven percent."

"Circuit, I apologize for being rude, but none of that is actually helpful," Celestia said. She seemed very distraught over the situation, but Circuit could not determine what part specifically.

"I am slow to offend, Princess," it said. "But with what do you require help?"

Luna's eyes flashed at that. "Because whatever these two... rogues are doing, they plan to ultimately change everything we've ever known, according to your account. I don't know how they plan on doing it, but I have a feeling that there will be no small amount of conflict over it. We need some way to stop them before they do anything too damaging."

Circuit thought about that. Luna was correct; this was far greater in scope than simply rescuing Transistor. Regardless, that was still the number one item on Circuit's list of priorities. After spending a few seconds in thought, Circuit determined the best option under the circumstances.

"You wish to stop or slow their progress. I wish to rescue Doctor Transistor from their control," said Circuit, getting the undivided attention of the princesses. "He is a factor they require for their plans. Logically, cooperation furthers mutual goals."

The princesses exchanged a glance, mild surprise etched on their faces.

"You wish to assist us in this?" Luna asked.

"Yes. My immediate priority is to recover Doctor Transistor. Consequently, this will aid you in your goals. However, when this is done, I will continue to assist you barring future complications."

"Why?" came the simultaneous response.

"Because I wish to find a solution that is best for both parties."

"So... you don't necessarily want to eliminate them?" Celestia asked, clearly confused by Circuit's response. "Even after foal-napping Transistor?"

Circuit paused. For some reason it was apprehensive about answering this question. "The best solution also involves proper justice. However, if their goals are to further improve the world, then it is illogical to allow their ideas to be completely crushed."

"That is... surprisingly merciful of you, Circuit," Luna said. "But you keep speaking from a solely logical perspective. As incredible as it is, I know you can feel emotion, so I ask you: How do you feel about this?"

"I..." Circuit's stuttered response surprised itself. It had never been unable to answer a question, solve a problem, or analyze a scenario presented to it. But as Luna stated, Circuit had been thinking completely logically in those situations. Now, trying to find a solution with emotion, a function it had written off as being little more than a nuisance, caused it to have trouble formulating an option. Whether it was running through the extensive algorithms or if emotional responses were truly that complex, or some combination thereof, it was taking Circuit much, much longer to answer this question, and when it finally did, it had difficulty speaking it.

"I feel like breaking every bone in their bodies. I feel like burning everything they have done to the ground. And I feel that you are the one responsible for all of this as a result of convicting them twenty years ago," Circuit said, pointing one of its digits at Celestia, who promptly recoiled in shock. "Of course, I understand that you made the only valid decision. I cannot hold that against you."

Celestia let out a sigh of relief. "I... Thank you, Circuit. I... I was afraid I might have forever made an enemy of you for that."

"I believe the correct phrase is 'Water under the bridge'."

"So it would seem," said Luna with an amused expression, which quickly faded. "But we do not know where Hydronia and Airfoil are residing. And if they truly are outside the country, they could be under the protection of another. I would much prefer not starting a war over this."

"I tracked their carriage as it was leaving with a bearing of 315. According to my data, that direction leads to a, quote, 'No mare's land', unquote."

The princesses cocked their eyebrows at that. "'No mare's land'?" Celestia asked. "I know of what you speak, but it is less a 'No mare's land' as it is a region that has yet to be claimed by any nation. I suppose I should have expected that they would have gone there to seek refuge. The laws of the surrounding nations, that is to say, Griffonia, the Minotaurian Empire, and Equestria, do not extend into this region. And as there is no government, no laws of its own exist, save those kept by its inhabitants."

Circuit locked eyes with Celestia as it processed this information. There was nothing in it's data banks that held any of this information. "Why is this region unclaimed?" it asked.

Celestia's expression seemed to darken. "The region is filled with outlaws, criminals and renegades. Equestria has no desire for a land containing great numbers of those. As for the Griffins and Minotaurs, there was a time when they fought each other over it. It changed hooves dozens of times over a few centuries, until eventually they signed a peace treaty that stated neither side would lay claim to it again, effectively creating a 'No mare's land' as you called it."

"I see," Circuit said, considering the implications. "If Equestria were to deploy forces to search the region, it would likely spark hostilities with both the Griffins and Minotaurs."

"Very astute of you, Circuit," Celestia said with a smile. "And you are quite right. We cannot simply deploy a battalion of troops so close to foreign borders."

"I believe this will take quite some time to properly coordinate," said Luna, who had been listening intently given the fact that all this was also new to her.

Celestia sighed. "Yes, indeed it will. This is a delicate matter that could easily make a turn for the worse if handled improperly. And, for the record, I do not believe it would be wise for you to go at it alone. As powerful as you are, Airfoil and Hydronia no doubt have some tricks up their sleeves to use against you." The princess shifted, wincing as a joint popped from having stayed stationary for so long. "I have no idea how long it will take to devise a good plan for this, and I'm sure you would not appreciate sitting around waiting until we do, would you?"

"Correct. I would prefer to remain productive."

"I thought so. For now, I think it best that you go to Ponyville, where you will be in the capable hooves of the Elements of Harmony and Princess Twilight Sparkle. Before you ask why, it is because I believe you will best learn and prepare yourself for whatever may come in the future. Do you both agree?" Celestia asked.

For the briefest of moments, Circuit saw a flash of irritation in Luna's eyes, if Circuit's analyses of facial expressions were accurate. However, it was quickly extinguished before she responded with a forced smile, saying, "Of course. Perhaps Circuit may also better hone his sense of humor there." Circuit made a note to query her on her true thoughts later. Celestia also appeared to have similar thoughts as a look of concern crossed her face momentarily.

Having been trying and failing to devise a proper course of action itself, Circuit had to agree with Celestia's. "I will put faith in your experience, if this is your best plan, and go to Ponyville."

"Wonderful, I will have the stewards arrange everything for your trip there, as well as send a letter to Princess Twilight detailing your arrival at a more reasonable time in the morning," Celestia said, looking at Luna as she emphasized this last part, who gave a sheepish grin in response. "With that in mind," she continued, "I think we should retire. I still need to sleep, and night court has been put on hold for long enough." With that, the three stood up. A few stiff joints popped in the process.

"Where would be the most ideal location for me to remain?" Circuit asked.

"Come with me," Celestia said. "You can stay in one of our dignitary suites."

Celestia exited the conference room with Circuit in tow, and Luna not far behind. The first thing they saw upon passing through the door was the search party from before back in the throne room. The largest guard had the still unconscious thief slung across his back.

"I believe this is where I leave you two," Luna said as she broke off and made her way to the throne, a somewhat disappointed look crossing her face as she saw the ragdoll of a pony.

Circuit followed the Solar Princess to another door in the side of the throne room, presumably one that lead to the dignitary suites. Before it passed the threshold it looked back and locked eyes with the jittery rookie guardsmare. They exchanged a short nod before Circuit continued through. Beyond the door was a short hallway with a stairwell at the end. Paintings depicting various different landscapes adorned the walls, which Circuit made sure to record them all in detail.

As they made their way to the stairs, Circuit asked, "What do you think Princess Luna will do to the suspect? The guards said that she would be responsible for his reprimand."

Celestia smirked. "'Reprimand' would be putting it lightly, I think. Knowing Luna, I almost feel bad for him, though I know she won't do anything too horrific. It is probably for the best that the thief is still unconscious, that way he'll be saved being subjected to the Royal Canterlot Voice. I know she was looking forward to having a good reason to use it again."

The android cocked its head. "What is the 'Royal Canterlot Voice'?"

"THIS!" Celestia bellowed, whipping around to face Circuit as she did so.

The sheer force of the shout caused Circuit to be blasted backwards. It did a complete backflip as it flew not-so majestically through the air, and landed flat on its belly with its legs spread-eagle.

Celestia put a hoof to her mouth, trying to suppress a giggle. "Oh dear, I'm sorry. Are you alrght?"

Without much difficulty, Circuit got back on its hooves. "That was unanticipated, and also uncalled for," it said in its usual monotone, although quite a bit louder for some reason. "But to answer your question, I am undamaged."

"Why are you talking loudly then?"

"I need to recalibrate my auditory units now."

The pair continued on their way to the stairs, which Circuit found to be of a spiral design. They went up one level and exited the stairwell into another hallway, about as long as the previous one. Rather than paintings, the walls were lined with four ornate oak doors, each stained a deep, rich brown. Celestia opened the first door on their left and guided Circuit inside. The room inside was rather spacious, easily having the same floor area as the entire apartment Circuit had originated in. A large bed with a red and gold quilt sat against one wall with a pair of nightstands on either side. On the wall opposite the bed was a large wardrobe with a dresser next to it, along with a door that presumably led to the bathroom. A large window overlooking the countryside sat on the wall furthest from the door.

"As we said, we will come retrieve you later, after everything is prepared," Celestia said as Circuit surveyed the room.

"This seems unnecessarily excessive."

"Why? Were you expecting us to stick you in a broom closet somewhere?"

"That would have been the most efficient choice. In addition, the apartment I lived in before was smaller than this."

"It will not be said that the royal family did provide anything less than ideal for our guests," Celestia said. With a small chuckle she added, "And you would not believe how many college students I have heard make similar remarks."

If Circuit found the joke amusing, it did not show it, rather it continued on topic. "Regardless, the quarters are appreciated. I will be busy recalibrating my systems and reviewing today's progress until you return."

Celestia turned to leave. "You are very welcome Circuit. I assure you, we will find a way to get Transistor back."

Luna eyed the thief where he now lay slumped on the floor of the throne room, a bit of drool pooling on the carpet from his open mouth.

"Where did you find him?" she asked.

"In an alley, flank deep in a trash can, just like that robot thing said, your highness," said Captain Iron Spear.

The Lunar Princess nudged the thief's shoulder with her hoof. Other than being pushed by the contact, the thief remained unconscious.

"It does not look like he will be awake soon, does it?" Luna asked rhetorically. "Lock him up in the dungeon, and make sure his cell is guarded. Notify me or my sister, whoever may be on the throne, in the event he wakes up, understand?"

"Crystal clear, your highness," the officer said with a salute. "Sergeant, if you would be so kind?"

"On it, sir," said the large earth-pony stallion who had hauled the thief in earlier. He slung the limp pony across his back once more and followed the Captain as the squad turned to leave for the dungeons.

As the squad made their way past her, Luna noticed the newly recruited guardsmare at the rear of the formation. An idea cropping up in her mind, she pulled the new blood aside.

"What is your name, guard?" she asked more softly than usual so as not to terrify the nervous guard.

With a shaky salute, the mare responded with, "P- Private Vigilant Eye, your highness."

"Private Vigilant, we are going to need somepony to escort Circuit to Ponyville. For some reason, he seemed to notice you above everypony else just now, which is why I'm asking you if you are willing to take the job. If not, I'm sure I could find another guard."

The rookie stood there silently for a moment, eyes wide in both bewilderment and confusion. "Circuit? The robot? I'll... Yeah I'll do it, but... why me, your highness?"

"As I said, Private, for some reason he took special notice in you. It may be for the best if he is with somepony he can identify with. Also, your Captain may not have noticed it as well as I, but you seemed to have a remarkable ability to observe important details. That will be a valuable skill for your new task.

"On that note, it would be for the best if you went to sleep now. Wouldn't want you to be falling asleep on the job, now would we?"

"Understood, your highness!" Vigilant said with more confidence than before as she saluted and left to go to the barracks.

As she left, Luna laughed a bit to herself. Despite her nervousness and inexperience, she seemed intelligent and talented from what she'd seen. She was confident that Vigilant would take her new task like a duck to water.

The throne room now empty save for Luna and the statue-like guards, the princess went back to the throne. Sitting on the cushion was a small piece of parchment, which read that there was now a small line of ponies for night court. Smiling to herself, she seized the opportunity she had been waiting for all night.

"NEXT!" she roared in the Royal Canterlot Voice, causing the stain-glass windows to rattle in their panes and the throne guards to be knocked forward onto their faces, from which they easily recovered with stunned looks on their faces. The palace door slowly cracked open and a jittery noble mare stepped in.

This should be fun, Luna thought, hiding her devious thoughts behind a smile.

Author's Note

[Looks at date of last chapter]

I... I have nothing to say in my defense. Nothing at all.

Anyway, feel free to leave some input on the story; I'd really like to see your guys' opinions of it so far.

Godspeed, ladies and gentlemen.

V - Connections Available

Vera glared at Gerard in open disgust. She hated the mercenary with a fiery passion, as she did all the rest. The cloaked griffin lounged against a brick chimney, seemingly asleep even as Vera scanned the apartment complex. Were it not for Airfoil's insistence that she have backup, she would have left him behind long before leaving the compound.

As it was, she was stuck with the lazy griffin and no amount of protesting could budge the immovable Pegasus otherwise. Still, she owed him and his fiery partner, especially after all they had done for her. Vera had begrudgingly conceded, hoping for an opportunity to rid herself of the mercenary as quickly as possible.

Half an hour ago she spied the hired goon take a dive into an alleyway to avoid a contingent of lunar guards soon after her employers had departed with their "package." His escape was not before tossing a hefty bag of bits into the hooves of a cloaked stallion, who was by far the largest pony she'd ever laid eyes on. Amusingly, the guards seemed to have thought he was the perpetrator, despite being well over twice the thief's size, and had taken him in to custody. Apparently they had eventually realized their mistake, and had now come for the real one.

"Two fifteen AM, guards take thief into custody, heading towards Canterlot dungeon."

Gerard simply stretched his brown feathered arms in response.

"I said-"

"Yeah, I heard ya the first time." He slurred, leisurely pulling out a notepad and jotting down Vera's words. He stood up and stretched, arching his back like a cat. "Cool. Looks like that's our job done then."

Vera gnashed her beak in frustration. "Your job is done when I say it's done, merc," she spat.

"Yeah? You wanna try spying into the palace itself? Place is swarming with guards. I dunno 'bout you, but I don't get paid enough to stick my neck out for a two-bit - GRK!"

Having finally lost her patience Vera grabbed him by the throat and squeezed, her mechanical arm immobilizing him even as he flailed. She pulled him in close until they were beak-to-beak as he looked into her eyes with terror. His beak opened and closed in silent gasps as he struggled to breathe past the female griffin's vice-like grip.

"You get paid to follow orders," she snapped. "And our orders are to keep an eye on the team. Understood?"

The mercenary nodded frantically, blue skin starting to show beneath the feathers on his face. Vera released him and he dropped to the apartment roof violently gasping for breath.

Just as Vera was about to turn back to watching the guards, she heard Gerard murmur, "Damn psycho..." under his breath.

Faster than the eye could see she swiped her talons at his throat, causing a ruby spray to erupt from his neck as he stood frozen in shock. He clutched his talons to the gaping wound, dropping his note pad and worked his jaw as he attempted to speak, but only a drowning gurgle escaped his mouth. He collapsed to the shingle roof, his pleading eyes staring up at Vera who seemingly ignored him; she merely inspected her metal talon with a bored expression as crimson blood dripped from her chrome fingers.

She was interrupted by a soft call on the radio. "Vera, come in, this is Hydronia."

"Go ahead, ma'am," Vera said, flicking the blood off her talons.

"We've got what we came for. Head back to the rendezvous point."

"At once, ma'am."

"Did you have any trouble?"

"No, but our thief got caught and Gerard here seems to have had an... accident."

"Dammit, Vera, can't you just play nice with the new kids for once?" came the bass of Airfoil's voice, sounding tired.

Vera smirked. "They're mercs. We can always hire a new one."

"Not at the rate you go through them." He paused briefly. "Just get back here. We'll discuss this later."

"Understood sir. I'll be there soon."

She clicked off the radio and glanced back down at Gerard. His now lifeless eyes stared blankly past Vera as his tongue lolled out the side of his beak. Blood streamed down the roof shingles into the rain gutter, surely to leave a horrible discovery for the ponies in the morning. She reached down and picked up the mercenary's blood-soaked notepad, chuckling as she imagined how panicked the easily spooked ponies would be.

Confident she wouldn't be leaving any major clues behind, Vera dove off the side of the building and spread her metal wings, flying in the direction of her colleagues.

Circuit stood alone in the dignitary suite. It was quiet here. Transistor's apartment had overlooked a busy street, so all Circuit had known was the constant bustle of activity as ponies went about their daily lives. When Circuit had asked about how Transistor slept at night through the noise, he had replied "You learn to forget it's there." The concept of "forgetting" had been a difficult concept for it to rationalize, adding to the growing list of inexplicable traits and paradoxes it had observed in organics.

It shelved that conundrum for a later time, as right now the most pressing question to answer was "Why?" Why would Transistor's old colleagues kidnap him? Airfoil had suggested that what they were working on was something Transistor himself had been personally invested in, so much so that he had been its driving force. They wanted to turn the ponies and, presumably, other species of Equestria against the diarchs, to make them cave to their will, but to what end?

Circuit's attention was drawn to the files its creator had loaded within it shortly before his capture. Perhaps there was something in those that could provide some clue. As it accessed the files, Circuit rapidly realized they were dated back over twenty years, several before its design had ever been conceived. The resulting data dwarfed that which composed its own code. Granted, the vast majority of it pertained to Circuit's construction and design, but nowhere in them was anything that could give a hint as to what Transistor had once envisioned.

Reading its internal clock, Circuit found the amount of processing time that had been used to search the new files equated to only thirty minutes. It searched again, certain that there must be something of value buried in the data.

Its undivided concentration was broken by a knock on Circuit's door. It checked its clock again, noting that the time was still in the early hours of the morning. Not many ponies would willingly be awake at this time. The anomalous behavior piqued Circuit's interest as it approached the door, eager to discover who had arrived. From the short list of ponies it had deemed the most probable, the arrival was one of the lowest on the ranking.

"Private Vigilant Eye. Good morning."

"Uh, good morning to you too. 'Circuit' right?"

"Affirmative."

"Riiiight... Can I uh, come in? I... wanted to talk to you."

Circuit stepped back from the door, letting the nervous guard in. She looked around the room, evidently curious as to what the interior looked like. Vigilant let out a long whistle, dropping from a high to low pitch.

"Wow... This room is bigger than my apartment."

"I expressed similar observations."

Vigilant laughed nervously. "You lived in an apartment?"

"Affirmative. It was the home of my creator."

"Huh. And here I was thinking you were built in some fancy lab somewhere."

"I postulate that was the original intent. However, due to the circumstances surrounding his legal disputes, he was forced to continue his work in secret and on a low budget."

"Dang. So your entire body was already built then? Transistor spent twenty years just on programming you?"

"Correct."

The mare had quickly gone from nervous to intrigued, her cat eyes burning looking deep into Circuit's ocular units. It entertained the possibility that she shared its desire to understand the many anomalies in the world around them. Aside from the Princesses, Circuit had never had a proper conversation with anyone other than Transistor. Circuit found itself enjoying the simple exchange, beginning to understand why the ponies were so fixated on social interaction.

"I have been reviewing data files partitioned in my memory banks. If the development logs that I have stored is of any indicator, my current state far surpasses the original scope of the project. If I had been coded according to the original plans I would have been far less sapient."

"Huh. So what were you supposed to be then?"

Circuit paused, reviewing what little it had learnt of itself. Amidst all the design specifications, there had been nothing indicating a purpose behind its construction.

"I... do not know," it said, perturbed at the sudden realization that it did not know why it was built. Circuit pondered this. Why should it be upset that it did not know its true purpose? Ponies did not, nor any other organic, leaving them open to seek their own. Why then shouldn't Circuit?

"Uh, hello? Equestria to Circuit?" Vigilant said, breaking Circuit out of its introspection and looking slightly worried.

"I apologize. Not knowing my purpose is... uncomfortable."

"Oh... Sorry I asked then." She looked away sheepishly.

"It is alright. You were curious, as am I. What did you want to discuss with me?"

Vigilant straightened her posture slightly and cleared her throat. "Well, it would seem that Princess Luna wants me to be your official escort and guard while you're in Ponyville. And, well, I guess I wanted to let you know to avoid any confusion when we leave tomorrow." She paused for a long moment as she looked up at the ceiling lost in thought. After a moment of contemplation she turned back to Circuit with a slightly annoyed expression. "Then again, I guess that's not really a concern for you, is it?"

"Most likely not, but I appreciate the sentiment." Surprisingly, Circuit was pleased she was coming. It was not sure what awaited it in the new location, but for some reason it was at ease with the prospect of facing the unknown with the nervous mare. "I am happy then to have you as my companion."

The blue fur on the guard's face suddenly flushed a deep red. Circuit worried that she had become sick, or worse, that it was a negative reaction to what it had said.

Its concerns were allayed as Vigilant looked at Circuit with a bashful smile. "Well... thanks. Maybe this whole thing'll actually be fun." She closed her eyes as she took a deep breath, looking much less uncomfortable in Circuit's presence now. "Anyway, I need to go get some shut-eye, start getting used to the new sleep schedule. Take it easy, big guy."

She turned and walked out the door, closing it behind her.

Big guy? Circuit cocked its head at the moniker. Perhaps I can discuss that with her later.

Circuit stepped over to a window on the far wall of the suite and pushed the velvet red curtains aside. Somewhere in this direction lay Ponyville, hidden under the cover of night, and its new home for the foreseeable future. With nothing else to do until the stewards came to retrieve it for the journey, it opted to put a pause in its search for meaning. Instead it stayed looking out the window, watching the city as it slept and speculating on what answers it might find in the coming days.

Luna was already waiting in the dining room when Celestia entered for breakfast, looking much less irate than she did last night. Granted, she still seemed groggy and tired from losing as much sleep as she did. She yawned loudly as she entered, and Luna thought her ethereal flowing mane looked somewhat disheveled, though no pony other than her would ever have noticed.

"Coffee, sister?" Luna teased, but still levitated Celestia's favorite morning brew - a caramel mocha in a mug the size of a small bucket - to the sleep-deprived alicorn.

Celestia closed her eyes and sniffed the coffee in bliss as she took it, ignoring her sister's tone. This was one of the few moments in the day when the two sisters could just sit and talk, at least during the work week. Weekends, of course, they could both relax and enjoy each other's company when they weren't pursuing their own hobbies. Governing a country was a full-time job, after all.

"Mmm... Add a little whiskey and I might even be able to function today," she hummed as she sipped the delectable liquid.

"Expecting today to be a rough one?"

"No better than usual, at least. Especially not after a perp walk in the middle of the residential district last night... Oh, the press is going to be all over me so much I'll need flea shampoo to get them off."

Luna snickered at the exaggeration, but sympathized with her sister's frustration. "If it helps, I shall see if the interrogation of the thief has yet borne any fruit before turning in myself."

"Oh, you found him?" Celestia looked up from her coffee. "Good, that's one less headache to worry about. Thank you, Luna."

"Indeed. I've not yet heard the results, but he has apparently... what's the expression? 'Sung like a canary'."

Celestia took a large gulp, and said, "Good, the last thing we need right now is a major security breach, and in the treasury no less."

Luna set down her own coffee, a black cold-brew, and dropped her voice to barely above a whisper. "Speaking of security breaches, sister, are you certain it was wise to send Circuit to Ponyville to be with the Elements? Whoever captured this... Doctor Transistor clearly has ulterior motives, and if they know of his existence that may make him and any anypony around him a target of their machinations."

Looking her dead in the eyes, Celestia cocked an eyebrow. "'Him'?"

Luna blinked, suddenly realizing what she'd just said. "Yes, well, it hardly seems appropriate to refer to an intelligent being as 'it', regardless of whether or not it fits the definition of what can be considered alive."

"To be fair, Circuit seems difficult to offend; 'they' said as much themself," Celestia said, making air-quotes with her hoof as she did so. "Though on that matter, I doubt anypony has ever bothered to ask their opinion. They probably don't even care."

"Possibly," Luna sighed. "After speaking with Circuit, you get the impression that such topics are little more than a fascinating subject. But I digress, putting Circuit in the care of the Elements of Harmony exposes them to as much risk as... 'they' are in. Hence, I took the liberty of assigning one of my guards to accompany them."

"Did you now?" To Luna's surprise, her sister actually sounded pleased with her revelation.

"I- Yes. I thought it prudent at least. I would very much like to send more, but I fear that may draw undue attention. But more to the point, you do recall that Twilight is no longer your student, yes? She is a princess of equal status to us and has her own duties to fulfill."

Celestia nearly choked on her drink as Luna spoke. "Ah... Yes, I had almost forgotten. Old habits die hard, I suppose... Even so, I still believe it is the best choice. Twilight and her friends have been more than proven capable of handling themselves in dire circumstances over the years. Do you disagree?"

"No, but I still believe it poses an unnecessary risk. The fewer ponies involved in this, the safer they will be."

"While I don't technically disagree with you," Celestia said, looking down into her mocha as she swirled it around the mug, "I believe Circuit may turn out to be quite the game changing factor. Depending on the lessons they learn there, that is, what the Elements can teach them, I do think it is a worthwhile endeavor. And if I know Twilight and her friends even half as well as I think I do, they will agree to the undertaking once they know the full story."

"But do you truly think that Circuit is that valuable an asset?"

"I do." Celestia took on a stern countenance as she faced her sister. "Luna, Circuits creators embezzled tens of millions of bits and over twenty years to create the being that currently sits within our very walls. I have to believe that all that time, money, and effort was not spent building a simple novelty item."

Luna sighed, then laughed in spite of herself. "If you had told me a thousand years ago that one day our ponies would create a machine capable of emulating life itself I would have laughed the sun itself off your flank, yet, here we are."

"As the old curse goes: 'May you live in interesting times'," Celestia laughed.

"And times are very interesting indeed." Luna downed the last of her cold-brew. "Very well, sister, it seems you've persuaded me. I must insist, however, that you inform the Elements of the risks they are to be exposed to should they commit to this undertaking. The least you could do is allow them the opportunity to make an informed decision."

"Yes, I agree." Celestia finished her mocha as well. "For now, I must go raise the sun. By the time they arrive in Ponyville, I'm sure Twilight and her friends will have already made their decision."

Hydronia flipped through the late Gerard's bloodstained notebook, scrutinizing all the observations Vera had made on their mission. Most of it wasn't particularly useful, though not to the griffin's discredit. Times guards changed their posts, their patrol routes, how they responded to the thief, and a slew of ponies being out and about late at night.

Quite the inspired diversion tactic, Hydronia thought, impressed. Wouldn't have expected Vera of all people to have come up with that, let alone convince somepony to actually go through with it. Still, it's a shame he got caught. Hopefully she didn't give him too much information.

One group of timestamps caught her eye however.

0145: cloaked stallion departs target's apt bldg thru fire escape
0147: thief passes bag to cloaked stallion
0148: guards arrest cloaked stallion, hdg towards canterlot palace

"What's all this about a 'cloaked stallion'?" Hydronia demanded, causing Vera to flinch. As tough as she was, not even the ruthless griffin wanted to risk angering Hydronia.

Vera cleared her throat, unsure of how to give a satisfactory answer. "I watched him come busting out of the fire escape not long after you guys left-"

"YOU IDIOT!" Hydronia roared, hurling the notepad at the griffin with enough force to knock feathers loose. "That was the android we spent years building, and you didn't think to follow it!?"

"I- My apologies, ma'am, but I didn't know about-"

"And now the bucking princesses have their hooves on it. Who knows what it's told them by now!" She put her nose in Vera's face, forcing her to shrink back. She could practically see the steam blowing out the mare's ears in her rage. Through clenched teeth she seethed, "Go. Back. And. Find it. If you come back with anything less than an eight-digit grid coordinate, you can kiss those wings and claws of yours goodbye, do I make myself clear?"

"Y-yes, ma'am."

"GO!"

Vera turned and bolted away from Hydronia, quickly taking to the skies in the direction of Canterlot. She was none too eager to get as far from her wrath as physically possible If the madmare was any angrier, she would have burst into flames. In spite of her fear of the volatile pony, Vera found herself morbidly curious about this "android." Indeed, they had never told her - or anyone in the compound - about what they had done all those years ago.

But now she was very curious about this wild card.

Author's Note

Daddy's home, boys.

And he brought the mothafucking milk.